I'm only saying this for your sake, but objectively, it's not a smart idea to bring politics into normal hobbies. You might lose supporters of your blog just because of your political stance, and that would be terrible since you're so amazing!! It's only a suggestion, but I really reccomend not bringing politics into anything.
๐ 18+, minors do not interact โข masterlist โข submit a request
your pov โข soonyoungโs pov โฃ
soonyoung has been best friends with you for 10 years nowโin love with you for almost all of that time. one way or another, those 10 years end tonight.
โซ darl+ing svt
pairing: soonyoung x fem!reader
word count: 11.6k (i don't want to talk about it)
tags: best friends to lovers, idiots in love, a lil miscommunication, angst, happy ending, soonyoung pov, flashbacks
cw: smut - possessiveness, unprotected piv (pull-out method. v irresponsible piv. don't be like these two), reader loses virginity, spit, oral f. receiving, fingering, mention of choking, mention of masturbating, soft vanilla smut, probably a little hornier than the other pov bc this is a MAN after all
a/n: happy @citruscheol birth!!! ูฉ(หแห*)ู to celebrate this momentous occasion, i ofc had to honor her request for a soonyoung pov of we can be all we need. you donโt really need to read that before this one; after all, they are essentially the same fic. BUT! i recommend you do bc it will make this version more enjoyable + easier to understand. and yโknow what, i literally had to drive myself bat shit crazy and completely alter my brain chemistry to write this. like. there isnโt enough grass in the world that i can touch to return back to normal. and idk if i can ever look at hoshi the same ever again, so the least you can do is read both ok ใ ใ ใ ใ kidding ofc pls do what you want haha. either way, i think youโll enjoy whichever one you want to read! as far as smut goes, same thing as last time: i marked where the smut starts and ends, but this courtesy is for adults who donโt want to read explicit material. minors should not be interacting at all pls!
soonyoung has been avoiding you. he knows you know it because youโve asked him multiple times now if anything was wrong, and every time, heโs lied to you and told you everything was fine. everything wasnโt fine. it hardly felt like anything was fine, actually.
because you just blew out your candles, youโre 30 now, and his time has officially run out. he canโt blame anyone other than himself, though, and he knows it. he had seven whole years to tell you, and instead, he foolishly thought if he just continued to love you the way heโs always loved you, you would simply see it yourself. you would see how hopelessly in love with you he is.ย
you didnโt. for whatever reason, his showering you with lavish gifts, vacations, and fancy meals didnโt strike you as odd for a friend. or the way he was constantly wrapped around you or leaving kisses on your forehead whenever he had the chance. or the fact that itโs been nine fucking years since he went on a date or slept with anyone. heโs fucking priestly at this point.
and he doesnโt do it just so youโll get the hint. he does it because thatโs how he loves you and thatโs how heโs always loved you. but maybe thatโs the issue: you think this is just how he is as a friend because heโs been this way ever since he met you. but you couldnโt be more wrong.ย
soonyoung has never even felt inclined to treat anyone outside of his family the way he treats you. as far as heโs concerned, everything he does for you are just things he watched his dad do for his mom his whole life. youโre not even aware that the way he loves you is supposed to be reserved for whoever becomes his wife.
and heโs been so happy to give you all of that even if it meant you never saw him the way he longed for you to. it fills him with pride to know that your expectations are higher because heโs loved you so wellโthat you know exactly what you deserve because heโs always tried to give you exactly that.
at least, up until a few weeks ago, when the horror of the truth really started settling into his bones: you werenโt going to fall in love with him by the time you turn 30. and without even really realizing it, he started distancing himself from you, deluded into thinking it would be easier to let go if he just put a little space between the two of you. he knew it was hurting you just as much as it was hurting him, and he knew you didnโt deserve it.
itโs against his hardwiring to do anything that hurts you, and itโs reflected in how terrible his life has become in just a handful of weeks. his apartment has been filthy; the only reason it was ready for your party was because he paid the housekeeper double to come even though he wasnโt scheduled to clean for another week. his work is fortunately still fine, but he spends whole days with horrible brain fog, hardly understanding or even hearing anything anyone says to him. he hasnโt seen any friendsโmutual or otherwiseโbecause he spends all his free time in bed or drinking himself into a sobbing mess.
thatโs all he can seem to do these days, is cry over you.ย
soonyoung steps out into the balcony attached to his bedroom, leaning against the sliding door once itโs closed. he cranes his neck to look up toward the midnight sky, and takes a deep breath. it doesnโt help keep the tears at bay. he keeps his head tilted up.ย
he knows you donโt deserve this. he knows youโre hurting and that you feel him slipping away. he saw it. just now, just before you blew your candles out, he saw the way the joy and life immediately fled your eyes when they landed on him. he wonders what you saw. did you see the apathy he was desperately forcing? did you see how sad he was at all?ย
because he is. heโs the saddest heโs felt since you told him you would rather be on vacation with someone you were in love with seven years ago. someone who wasnโt him. maybe heโs even sadder now. at least back then, he was foolish enough to hope you would change your mind. at least back then, he had time on his side.
now, itโs over, and now, itโs time to give himself a fair chance to move on. you donโt deserve what heโs putting you through, and itโs true for him too. he doesnโt deserve what heโs put himself through for the last decade.ย
countless nights you fell asleep at his place, countless times he wished he could gather you up in his arms and carry you into a bed you shared. all the times you told him you loved him and he desperately wanted to beg you to repeat it, even if it was just so he could pretend you meant it the way he needed you to mean it. whole weeks spent overseas on all kinds of vacations, time he spent daydreaming that this was what a honeymoon with you could feel like.
it all adds up to a decade of putting his heart on the backburner so he could allow himself to continue loving you.
soonyoung scoffs at himself when the tears refuse to stop welling in his eyes. he shakes his head and steps forward, resting his forearms against his railing and staring at the blackness in front of him.
part of him hates the version of himself from seven years ago that thought making this stupid promise was a good idea. what good can come from not loving you? but the reason heโs stuck to pulling away and holding you at armโs distance is because that version of himself somehow knew the pain would grow more and more, year after year.
he canโt do this for the rest of his lifeโcanโt just keep making room for more heartache the older he gets. youโre 30 now, and even though you insist youโre fine and have no desire to date, he knows youโll get restless soon. and when he thinks of you finally deciding you want to have a boyfriend, he wants to vomit. when he thinks of some other assholeโs hands on you, his lips on yoursโwhen he thinks of you sighing anyoneโs name but his, he gets near homicidal over something that isnโt even real. at least not yet.
soonyoung doesnโt want to wait for that to happen. he doesnโt want to wait for you to hate him for being unable to share youโand he wonโt be able to share you. he also doesnโt want you to have to face the pressure of having to choose between a best friend and a boyfriend.ย
instead, heโd rather you start to hate him slowly, over time. heโd rather you allow him his space and not even realize you hate him for slipping away and leaving you behindโnot until itโs years later, when you hear his name in passing, and you think, he just left, and you tell yourself itโs fine because your life is better without him anyway.
it hurts you now, but itโll hurt less later. itโll hurt less for both of you to endure this silence now, rather than fight until thereโs nothing but resentment.
the door behind soonyoung slides open forcefully and slams closed a moment later. he flinches, looking over his shoulder to see who entered his room and ready to tell them to get out. when he sees you, though, he turns back away, trying to discreetly wipe his eyes.
โwhat are you doing?โ
he quietly clears his throat, hoping he doesnโt sound too worn when he speaks. โjust needed some air.โ
โno.โ
you say it in that tone that always scared him a little. itโs when he knew you were about to get your way. he wasnโt interested in doing the whole fighting thing with you; he just gave you whatever you wanted the moment this voice came out of your mouth. it always drew a smile out of you and it made his life easier.
this is about to be the one and only time he canโt let you have your way.
โwhat are you doing?โ
soonyoung squeezes his eyes shut, like that will help him brace himself against the conversation he has to have with you.
this was coming, he tells himself. you knew this was coming. she was never just going to let you go without an explanation.
โwhy are you ignoring me?โ you ask, voice cracking. it takes everything in him to stay where he stands and keep from wrapping his arms around you, apologizing, and begging you to stop crying. โwhy are you avoiding me? why are you acting like iโm not your best friend?โ
soonyoung opens his eyes and almost laughs. best friend. he doesnโt know when the term became so derogatory to him. anyone would be lucky to be in your life, let alone be your best friend. he hates it anyway.
heโs your best friend. youโre not his. he would never dream of calling you thatโat least not without calling you the love of his life first. his most beloved. the woman he would give anything to marry. on the totem pole of things he wants to call you, best friend is at the bottom.
โbecause youโre not,โ he says honestly. he immediately regrets it when he hears the small whimper that escapes you. โat least, i donโt want you to be,โ he adds, hoping it will soften the blow of what he just said.
โwhat are you saying?โย
soonyoung feels so tired and sad and heartbroken. he hangs his head a little as he takes a deep breath.
โwhat are you saying, soonyoung?โ you repeat when he doesnโt answer immediately. patience was never your strong suit.
when heโs sure heโs not going to start sobbing upon turning, he finally faces you, and even then, he canโt bring himself to look you in the eye. if he does, he doesnโt think heโll be able to do this.
โdo you remember your 23rd birthday?โ he asks, gaze fixed on the stain on his balcony where you dropped a smoothie and he insisted you leave it instead of cleaning it. he forgot to do it himself and now he has a permanent reminder of how whipped he is for you.
โsiquijor,โ you basically spit at him. he feels your walls coming up. he feels your defenses getting ready, and he knows youโre aware of what heโs about to do. โwhat about it?โ
siquijor. the best and worst trip of his life.
โi think iโm drunk,โ you announced, words slurring so badly, soonyoung was convinced anyone else wouldnโt be able to understand what you were saying.
โwhat?โ he asked sarcastically. โno way. what makes you say that?โย
soonyoung loved being sober when you were drunk like this. he loved hearing and seeing all the silly shit youโd never say or do sober. most of all, he loved taking care of you. he loved pretending he meant something more to you and this was just another boyfriend duty of hisโmaking sure his drunk girlfriend was happy and hydrated and safe, and that when she woke up, she had a lineup of hangover cures at her disposal.
you answered with the gnarliest burp. he burst into loud laughter, grateful the beach was far enough away from any rooms that the two of you werenโt disturbing anyone.
after a few moments, he realized you werenโt laughing along, simply leaning back on your elbows in the sand, smiling softly at him. he did what he does best: he pretended. he pretended you were just a lovesick girl staring at someone she yearned for. he pretended you wanted him just as badly as he needed you. he pretended you were in love.
โpenny for your thoughts, you drunkard?โย
you giggled, slipping off of your elbows and laying all the way down. he joined you, both of you looking up at the sky. it was different here than it was back home. it was quiet and warm and there was no light to disrupt the view of the stars. he loved that he was seeing something like this for the first time with you.
โmy thoughts are worth more than a penny.โ
he snorted. even drunk, you were a brat. โnickel?โ
โnice try. a hundred bucks, buddy.โ
โha!โ he shouted. โnever mind, keep your thoughts to yourself.โ
โsoonie!โ you half whined, half burped. he made a face of disgust at you. he thought he did a good job of hiding how endeared he was.
โgross.โ soonyoung sighed, turning back to the sky. โfifty.โ
you giggled. โdeal.โ there was no way in hell you were going to remember he owed you $50. โiโm thinkingโฆ i am having the best time of my life.โ
his heart swelled knowing he did well for your birthday celebration.
he let his head loll to the side, watching you. you had your hands folded politely over your ribs and your legs were crossed at the ankles, your feet swaying side to side like there was a song playing that only you could hear. if soonyoung concentrated hard enough, he thought he could hear it too. it sounded like what he imagined his love for you would if it were a song.
you smiled at the stars like you were talking to them.ย
โiโm so happy,โ you said. โbest birthday ever, soonyoung. best month ever. thank you. i love you so much.โ
โyouโre welcome, y/n,โ he said, voice coming out barely above a whisper. โi love you too.โ so god damn much.
you turned to look at him when he said that, your smile fading naturally the longer you looked at him. โiโฆโ you trailed off, frowning a little before you continued. โi thinkโฆ i think i feel lonely, though.โ
he mirrored your frown, immediately bringing his body closer to yours. he rested a hand on top of yours. โwhatโs wrong?โ
you opened your mouth but before you could start speaking, you were suddenly crying.ย
โy/n?โ he sat up, bringing you up with him. โwhatโs wrong, baby?โ his eyes widened at the slip-up, but you were too drunk to notice, frantically wiping the tears that kept streaming down your face.
โiโm so happy,โ you breathed, hand still in his. โthis is everything iโve ever wanted. this is everything i could ever dream of having.โย
your words were still slurred and with the addition of the crying to your inebriated state, youโre hiccuping badly as you speak.ย
โthen why are you crying?โ he asked. โwhy do you feel lonely?โ
โthis is what i want from yโfromโฆโ you hiccuped again. โthis is everything i want from someone iโm in love with.โ
he felt his heart drop into his stomach, and he couldnโt help the way his hand stiffened in yours. he pulled away.
โohโ was all he could bring himself to say.
what else was he supposed to say to that?
โiโm in love with you. please let me be the one that gets to give this to you.โ
โplease love me.โ
โplease donโt break my heart like this.โ
he couldnโt say any of it.
โi want you to wantโฆ i wantโฆโ you kept hiccuping, and despite feeling like his heart was breaking into smithereens, soonyoung found it in himself to rub your back comfortingly. โi wantโโ you cut yourself off with another hiccup.
โshhh.โ it came out in a daze. the sky looked darker. the stars looked duller. the water wasnโt as bright anymore. โitโs okay. itโs okay.โ he didnโt know if he was telling you or himself. โitโs okay.โ
soonyoung pulled you into his arms, still rubbing your back as he tucked your head under his chin. he didnโt bother trying to find the right words to tell you; he knew you probably wouldnโt remember any of this. so he allowed himself to feel heartbroken as you wept and hiccuped until eventually, you fell asleep.
and when you did, it was his turn. he silently cried until the sun came up, and when it did, soonyoung gathered you up in his arms and carried you backโonly as a friend, to a bed youโd never share.
โit hurt,โ he says, tears finally beginning to stream down his face.
soonyoung never shied away from crying in front of you; he did it kind of often. but thereโs something especially humiliating about it now. heโs wrapped up in his sadness, and itโs suffocating him, making it hard to speak. he thinks if he does, he might choke on his grief.
โit hurt more than anything iโve ever felt, y/n,โ he says, voice barely above a whisper. he isnโt sure if you heard him, but he canโt bring himself to repeat it.
your hands close over his, where they hold the lapel of his jacket around your shoulders. he doesnโt even know when he took it off to put it on you. loving you was exactly like thatโan instinct he didnโt have to think twice about. loving you was just something that happened without his knowledge or permission.
โsoonyoung,โ you call his name, high and desperate. your defenses have come down. youโre not using that scary voice on him anymore. youโre not bracing yourself. he thinks you should be. โthatโs not what i meant. iโโ
โitโs okay,โ he breathes, so many tears in his eyes, he can barely make out the shape of you. he blinks rapidly to expel them. โiโve had time toโโ
โbut if you would just let me exโโ
โthereโs nothing to explain,โ he interjects softly, eyes coming to you now that he can properly see past his tears. โi stayed around, didnโt i?โ
your fight falters and you stop trying to talk over him.
โi stayed for seven more years. if i needed you to explain, i wouldโve asked the second you woke up sober.โ
your shoulders fall and he knows the rest of your fight has dissipated into the night. the next question you ask almost breaks his resolve. โonly seven?โ
the question comes out small and quiet and defeated, and soonyoung feels his lips tremble. he rolls them between his teeth to stop himself from telling you something he doesnโt want to say: no, of course not only seven. youโll have me wrapped around your finger until the day i die.
he takes his hands back from under your hold once heโs absolutely sure he wonโt say something that would disappoint the version of him that sat on that beach in siquijor, swearing that he wouldnโt let himself feel that heartbroken in the next decade of his life.ย
โi didnโt mind waiting seven more years to see if you would ever return my feelings,โ he says instead of answering you, fully aware of how badly his voice wavers as he speaks. โmy friends, they told me i was insane for letting my 20s go to waste like that. but to meโฆ if i still got to be around you, still give you experiences and love that made you feel like thatโs what you deserved from someone you actually were in love with, thenโฆ i canโt see the issue in that. iโd happily wait seven more years. because even if it was seven years of the same longingโand even if it was seven years leading to nothing more, it was still seven years of me being able to show you how well i couldโฆโ
he swallows the lump in his throat and fails. he shakes his head and just says what he shouldโve told you seven years ago.
โhow well i could love you. how much i do love you.โ
you look dumbfounded, and if this were any other situationโif soonyoung didnโt feel like he was actually fucking dyingโhe thinks heโd make fun of you. your eyes are the widest heโs ever seen them, and your mouth is parted like youโre poised to say something but you donโt even know what.
โsoonieโโ you start.
he doesnโt let you finish. he canโt. heโs so close to ending thisโto doing the worst thing heโs ever going to have to doโand if he lets you finish, heโll lose the courage to walk away.
โi told myselfโฆ while you slept in my lap on that beach in siquijor, that if by the time you turned 30, we still hadnโt moved pastโฆ thisโฆโ he canโt stand the look of horror on your face as you start to process what heโs saying. he looks at the sky behind your head instead. โthen, i wouldnโt spend my 30s torturing myself anymore. iโd let you go.โ
you donโt let even a millisecond pass before you practically scream: โi donโt want you to let me go!โ at him so forcefully, he flinches. โi donโt want you to let me go, you stupid idiot! if thatโs what youโve been doing the last, few weeks, โletting me goโโโ you make exaggerated air quotes with your fingers and a face that tells him you think heโs ridiculous. it catches him so off-guard, he almost laughs. โโthen knock it off!โ
you slap his chest to each word to punctuate your point.ย
โwhโ?โ he brings his arm up reflexively to defend himself.
โwhat i meant to tell you, it came out wrong,โ you inform him. his arms slowly fall back to his side as he listens to you as closely as he can. โi didnโt even mean to tell you anything, but if drunk me outed me like that, i need you to know thatโs not what i meant.โ
the words came out of your mouth in a rush like you thought soonyoung wouldnโt let you say them if you took too long. when he doesnโt say anything in the brief silence, you take a deep breath, obviously trying to steady yourself.
โi was lonely. i was really lonely,โ you admit, seeming to remember the feeling more than you did the actual conversation. โand yes, it was because i enjoyed that vacation so much and yes, it was because i wished i could have it with someone i was in love with, but i was having it with someone i was in love with!โ
everything in soonyoungโs body tenses, like his own defenses are coming upโlike this is some kind of joke and his body is preparing to be laughed at. because you just said you were on vacation with someone you were in love with in the philippinesโฆ but you were on vacation with him in the philippinesโฆย
his body braces itself.
โi just meant i wanted it to mean more for both of us,โ you continue, hands waving erratically between you to drive your point home. โi wanted to be on vacation with you!โย
your brows furrow and your lips thin as you helplessly fight off a wave of tears he knows is pushing to be released. he knows that when youโre too emotionalโwhether itโs sadness, joy, rageโyou cry, and once you do, you end up blubbering for so long, you usually end up asleep at the end of it.
but still, you bravely fight it off, obviously determined to tell soonyoung what you need to.
โbut you as my boyfriend! not you as my best friend! thereโs no one else i wouldโve wanted to be with, soonyoung!โ
heโs glad his body is stiff enough to keep his knees from immediately giving out under him. because all soonyoung wants to do now is fall to the floor and cry. cry because he never thought youโd say these words, because he felt like he was getting back something he lost on the beaches of siquijor, because the two of you wasted a decade dancing around each other instead of just fucking saying something.
โdo you think iโve been single our entire friendship for fun?!โ you shriek the question through tears. โdo you think itโs fun being the 30-year-old virgin whoโs never even kissed anyone?! because itโs not!โ
you whined about this often early on in your friendship, but eventually the complaints petered out, and he would drive himself crazy wondering if it was because that changedโif someone else had taken those firsts.
did it happen?ย
she would tell me.
right?
no, iโm still a dude. thatโs weird, sheโd probably tell a girl.
no no, iโm her stupid ass best friend. she would tell me!
oh my god, would she tell me?
what if i just die?
and so the cycle would go. he knows it wasnโt any of his business and that if you had lost those firsts to someone else, that was your prerogative, but still, he feels relieved to hear that isnโt the case.
and he knows he has no right toโnot when you havenโt had the proper conversation to hash things out yetโbut he suddenly feels an overwhelming possessiveness for you. because he waited for you. no one was ever going to make him stray away from you, so he waited for youโnever expecting, just hoping. sorely hoping. and now he knows you waited for him too, and nowโฆ now, all he can think about is making you his. all soonyoung can think about now is giving you all the things you abstained from in the hopes youโd have it with him of all people.
itโs what you deserve, isnโt it? for waiting? and isnโt he in the business of giving you what you deserve? his hand twitches, begging him to reach for you and kiss you stupid.
โbut i didnโt want anyone else! i wanted you!โ you point at him almost violently, and his heart grows too big for his chest. โyou waited seven years, but i waited ten! TEN, soonyoung! do youโโ
his willpower can only withstand so much. at the end of the day, soonyoung is just a man whoโs pathetically in love with you, and hearing you say you wanted himโhearing you confirm you waited your entire friendship just for the chance to have him and be with him and only himโit completely undoes his entire being.
soonyoungโs mouth is on yours before his brain can fully process whatโs happening. he feels the shock on your lips for only a moment before youโre moving. despite it being your first kiss, you respond quickly, your body knowing exactly what to do with soonyoungโs like itโs second nature.
you taste like tears and champagne, and even with all the extravagant dinners heโs taken you on and the places around the world youโve traveled to together, this is the best thing heโs ever tasted.ย
soonyoung thinks heโs happy to stand here, kissing you and tasting you and listening to your cute, little breaths against him forever. but then your hands start exploring himโhis hips, his waist, his chest, before wrapping around his neck and bringing him in to kiss you even deeper. and he knows immediately that all the strength he mustered up to deal with tonight is gone. the moan that comes up his throat is loud and bordering on obscene, but you smile upon taking it into your own mouth, as if youโre feeding on his desire. as if you love the taste of it.
soonyoung doesnโt wait after that. he canโt wait after that. without letting your lips separate, he guides you back into his room, careful to keep you from tripping over the threshold and all the crap he left on the floor when he was busy having his pity parties.
he lays you in his bed gently, thankful that even though itโs unmade, he at least had the housekeeper wash his sheets. he lays on top of you, trying not to let his weight crush you, but when you wrap your arms around him, you press him to your body as close as it can possibly go, and after he releases his entire weight on you, you hold him like even that still isnโt close enough.
itโs all so much. after spending so long hoping youโd one day want him even a fraction as much as he wants you, tasting the excitement on you and feeling the adoration in your hands as they feel every surface of his body they could reachโitโs so much.ย
it wears down his self-restraint.ย
you donโt seem to mind, though, because when he runs his tongue along your lips, asking permission for more, you open your mouth immediately. and when his tongue slips in and meets yours, the moan he gets back is so loud and uninhibited and hot, he feels it in his dick.
you giggle a little, and though you recover quickly and continue trying to make out with him after that, the sound delights him enough that he stops to look at you. your makeup is tear stained and your eyes are still a little red, but you look worlds different than you did just a few minutes ago. thereโs no tightness in your smile, no devastation in your eyes, no anger furrowed into your brows. when he looks at you this close, he realizes heโs never seen you this happy, this excited, or this lightโlike youโve been relieved of a burden that was too heavy for you. but really, the most different thing about you now is that you just look like youโre his.
โwhatโs so funny, hm?โ he asks, resting his forehead on yours. at the start of this night, he didnโt think he would ever hear you giggle again.ย
โnothing,โ you claim, even though your voice still has traces of amusement somewhere in there. your hand snakes up into his hair and starts scratching his scalp. he hums at the sensation. โi love you, soonyoung.โ
he lifts his forehead to look at you. itโs his millionth time hearing you say that. itโs the first time heโs hearing it in the context heโs wished to hear it for the last decade.ย
you love him. you love him. you love him.
โiโve always loved you,โ you announce unabashedly. โfrom the very start.โ
in retrospect, the proper thing to do wouldโve been to tell you he loved you tooโso much that he didnโt even know how to process it well enough to attempt to put it into words. but instead, he pushes himself off you, slightly ashamed that your confession made his dick go from semi-hard to rock hard in record time, but insanely elated (and painfully and obviously turned on) at the idea of you having spent your entire friendship loving him just as much.ย
when he sits back, his pants uncomfortably pull against his erection, and he winces, glancing down at it and silently scolding it to stop embarrassing him and have some goddamn decorum.ย
he clears his throat and looks back at you, where youโre now propped up on your elbows, smiling at his crotch like itโs already yours. it ruins him.
soonyoung is going to tell you he loves you. and sure, you already know because he already did, but now he gets to tell you knowing you feel the same. so heโs going to tell you, and heโs going to say it over and over and over again, but once he does, he gets the feeling that he wonโt want to stop at just kissing you.
he knows itโs probably a lotโto go from what you were toโฆ this, and on top of that, lose your first kiss. and even though you made it clear that heโs the only reason you even remained a virgin, he doesnโt want to assume youโre ready to do something as big as have sex for the first time tonight too.
soonyoung wishes he could be a bigger person than the horny teenager he feels like right now. he wishes he could stop this for the both of you and insist on having a conversation first before things get any further like a proper adult would. but you want him and you love him, and itโs driving him absolutely fucking crazy, and if he gets any harder, his dick is going to start hurting.
โhow far?โ he asks, his voice so pathetically needy, he wants to die. โi donโt want you to feel rushed or pressured. i justโฆโ he falters, trying to find a way to say this without making it sound like itโs all he wants from you. โwe wasted so much time.โ not a great start. โand iโโ
โall the way,โ you say, a coy smile on your lips when you interrupt him. his pants stretch even tighter.ย
itโs clear he was worrying for nothing; from the way you look at him, he knows you understand what heโs desperately trying to say and failing.ย
he watches you with heavy-lidded eyes as you lay yourself back down and wrap your legs around his torso, doing nothing when your already short dress rides all the way up to expose you.ย
โplease,โ you add on so sweetly, he groans. he wonโt be lasting long at all tonight.
soonyoung rests his hands on your thighs, thumbs instinctively rubbing circles into the soft skin there as he tries to take a moment to process everything in front of him. he knows if he doesnโt, the excitement will paint over his memories with zero remorse, and all heโll remember is that it happenedโnot what he said, did, or heard. and this is absolutely something he needs to remember.ย
he has to remember the way your knees quickly and easily fall apart and away from each other at his touchโalmost like theyโre sighing in relief at his arrival. he has to remember how your lower back arches and your pelvis wriggles underneath his fingertips before heโs even really done anything to you. soonyoungโs gaze rakes over your figure, taking note of every, little thing he can, when finally, they land on something that lays his fears to rest.ย
because there is no way heโll ever forget the moment his eyes found the space between your legs. he stares at you nowโright on the spot where your panties are already drenched with your arousal. soonyoung doesnโt care how overwhelming his excitement is right now; there is simply no possible way his brain will be able to gloss over this no matter how many years pass: the moment he saw physical evidence of just how much you craved him and needed him. how much youโve deprived yourself of him.
and now, he gets to give you anything and everything you want from him.
his hands begin to travel up your thighs, goosebumps following the trail of his fingertips. he stops just shy of your cunt, trying to breathe deeply enough to calm his thunderous heartbeat. if he gets too lost in this, heโll cum in his pants, and he will never forgive himself.ย
he stares hard at your desire, just barely able to keep from screaming when he realizes the dark spot is slowly growing the longer he sits there, unmoving. you squirm under him, and his hands involuntarily squeeze in response. your thighs are plush in his grasp, so full and beautiful, your flesh is forcing its way into the spaces between his fingers and turning white from hard he grips you.
donโt fucking cum right now, you loser, he thinks hard to himself. you cannot cum before anything happens during your first time with y/n. he exhales deeply and slowly. i will literally kill you if you cum right now.
heโs so tempted to look you in the eye just to see if youโre struggling even a fraction of the amount that he is, but he knows eye contact with you right now will just set his progress back.ย
when heโs mostly confident he wonโt immediately finish in his pants, he has to swallow the idiotic smile that threatens to take over his entire face. finally, soonyoung gives in and he moves. just one finger, pressed against the part of your panties that sinks just a tiny bit more than the restโright where he plans to be in the next few minutes, stuffing you full as far as heโll go.ย
as soon as you feel his fingertip brush against your entrance, your hole pulses like itโs trying to clamp around something bigger than his finger that isnโt there. he feels some of the control he has on that pathetic smile of his slip, and as if itโs an avalanche, the rest of his control comes crashing down. without thinking about it, his finger sinks the tiniest bit deeper as he drags it up your slit, the wetness from your panties catching on his skin ever so slightly.
when his finger finds and presses on your clit, you begin uncontrollably writhing and gasping beneath him, and his eyes tear themselves away from your cunt long enough to finally meet your gaze. you look at him with so much lust and love and longingโall of it so loudly desperateโhe completely loses track of where his finger is and what itโs doing. all he wants to do is latch his lips onto yours again and say what he shouldโve at least ten times by now: that he loves you.
so instead of rubbing your clit until he teases your first orgasm out of you like he planned to, he removes his hand from your center so that he can lean forward and kiss you senseless. but as soon as his touch leaves you, a strangled whine forces its way up your throat and past your lips, making him laugh immediately.ย
โwhat?โ you ask, your eyes narrowing at him. it should invoke fear in him, but heโs too endeared for that. โwhy are you laughing?! did i do something embarrassing?โ
soonyoung scoffs as he brings himself over you. โโembarrassingโ? no, baby.โ he rolls his eyes. โyour neediness is not โembarrassing.โ itโs fucking hot.โ
you turn the prettiest shade of pink. โshut up.โ
he grins. โgladly.โ
soonyoung kisses your nose, enjoying the shade of pink it turned under your blush. then, he kisses your lips, just for a moment so that he can lean back and look you in the eye when he says:
โi love you. i love you so god damn much, i thought i was going to die having to leave you.โ
he knows itโs dramatic, but he was convinced thatโs exactly what was happening to him not even an hour ago. the thought of doing life without you by his side made everything look and feel so colorless and dull and boring and ugly. dead was as good a word as any to describe what his life would look like without you.ย
โyouโre not leaving me,โ you say so matter-of-factly, the smile it brings to his face hurts his cheeks. he was so dumb to think he could; even if he had all the strength in the world to end your friendship, you wouldโve never let him off the hook that easily.ย
โiโm not,โ he says.ย
soonyoung gets to work covering you in as many kisses as humanly possible, his lips pressing against your mouth, jaw, neck, collarboneโwherever you have skin, his lips are all over it. your gasps and moans reach a fever pitch, and he figures itโs time to stop making you wait.ย
โyou tell me if you want to stop, okay?โ he asks, lips brushing against your ears as he speaks. โand weโll stop, no questions asked.โย
you nod so eagerlyโso obedientlyโhe canโt help but smirk. his tongue darts out to lick your lobe and bring it between his teeth to nip at before he starts kissing his way down your body.ย
โyou sound so pretty,โ he tells you as you continue to make sure he knows exactly how good you feel. all moans and groans and whispered begging. โexactly how i imagined youโd sound.โ his lips graze your already hard nipples through the fabric of your dress and he earns another loud whimper. โfuck, even better actually.โ
he pulls your dress down and off one shoulder to expose the breast he was just teasing, and when he sees you bare, he hangs his head, letting his forehead meet your chest as he grunts loudly.ย
what is my life? he thinks to himself. this is literally insane.
soonyoung flattens his tongue against your nipple, and you inhale sharply, your hips immediately bucking up. he doesnโt realize his eyes have fluttered closed until he opens them to look at you and make sure youโre okay. from the way your eyes roll into the back of your head and your mouth hangs open in dazed ecstasy, he thinks itโs safe to assume youโre okay.
โsoonyoung.โ
god, his name sounds so good when you say it, especially when you say it like this.
โfuck,โ he grumbles against your tit. he swears his dick is throbbing from how hard you have him.
โlower! please, god, lower!โ you order him.ย
โwhatever you want,โ he breathes against your skin.ย
but heโs not moving before he has the chance to leave a tiny, little something that can lay claim to youโsomething only he and you will see. he presses his hand against the side of your breast, groaning at how full you are in his palm. he leans down and bites into the flesh just above your nipple. your hips jerk up as he sucks on the spot just long enough that he knows it will stay a few days. he smiles when he releases you, the hickey already turning a beautiful purple.ย
โpretty,โ he mutters. he wants to cover you in them. he kisses the mark gently before removing the other strap of your dress.ย
with the bottom of your dress completely ridden up and the top half bunched around your waist, youโre almost completely naked, and already, soonyoung can hardly refrain from jumping off his bed and running around the room screaming.
fucking breathe, bro.
he gently lifts your hips up and off the bed so that he can slip both your dress and your ruined panties off your body in one go. once he does, all the refraining heโs been doing tonight comes to a brusque end.ย
โoh my god!โ he shouts, burying his face into your clothes and groaning into them. โi canโt believe this is my life right now, oh my god.โย
soonyoung presses your clothes against his eyes so hard, he thinks he should see stars, but still, all he can see are your perfect tits and your bare, glistening cunt and the sensual look in your eyes like theyโre all forever burned into his retinas. or maybe his eyes are open?
he blinks and brings your clothes down just enough to be able to take a peek at you. nope, the image of your naked body in his bed are definitely just burned into his eyeballs.ย
โoh my god, i really have you naked in my bed right now, oh my god oh my god oh my god.โ he probably says it 20 more times. heโs not sure.ย
โsoonyoung!โ you berate his behavior the way you always do. he smiles into your dress because even as everything is literally changing before his eyesโฆ nothing has. youโre still his best friend, pretending to get mad at him for being silly. he knows from the fond way you look at him that you arenโt mad at all. โfocus! come on, youโre just teasing me now. please.โ
โokay, okay!โ he says, voice muffled by your dress. โiโm so sorry, iโm not trying to tease you, i swear. i justโฆโ he stammers, unable to stop the whole bunch of nothing that comes spilling out of his mouth. โiโmโjust, iโitโs just, likeโฆ what?โ the question comes out as a laugh. โyโknow?โย
you raise an eyebrow at him and he realizes he isnโt really sure what heโs asking you.ย
โlike, what the actual fuck?โ he adds like that will help explain.ย
you groan. โitโs crazy how quickly you go from sex god to loser.โ
soonyoung feels his face immediately fall into a glareโone youโre used to seeing whenever you two bicker. โyou knowโฆโ he says, eyes narrowed at you. โmy favorite thing about you has always been your patience.โ
he throws your clothes aside, hands going to his shirt to begin unbuttoning it.ย
โgood thing i have a lot of it then,โ you claim. your bratty smirk falls right off your face as you watch him slowly undress.ย
โright.โ
when he shrugs his shirt off and lets it join your clothes on the floor, your eyes widen like youโre seeing him shirtless for the first time. your eyes sweep up and down his torso, your chest heaving as you begin to breathe harder, and it almost makes him shyโalmost makes him want to hug himself and jokingly tell you to stop ogling him like a piece of meat. but he also enjoys it more than anything.ย
so many times youโve been half naked together, wearing swimsuits at the beach or at the pool, and although heโs relished having your eyes on him before, this feels different. you stare at him shamelessly now, making no move to avert your eyes the way you used to. this is where he would make a joke to lighten the moodโto give you an out from a situation you might feel caged in by.ย
this time, he just allows himself the space to revel in this feeling of being adored.ย
โwait,โ you say suddenly when he stands up off the bed and his hands start undoing his belt. you crawl over to him, completely naked, and he thinks he might have a heart attack watching you on all fours like this.ย
โchange your mind? itโs fine if you do,โ he assures you, already fastening his belt before his dick can get any more ideas about where the night is going.ย
โno,โ you laugh as you rest your hands on top of his. โiโm not going to change my mind, soonie.โ
you sound as sure as he does about this. it relaxes him immediately. you smile at him before you press your naked body against his, tangle your hands in his hair, and bring his face down to lock lips with you again. he holds you delicately as your tongues slide against each otherโdifferent from how heโs pressed, tugged, and groped at you tonight. he forces himself to be gentler. he forces himself to slow down and enjoy the feeling of being in love with you openly.ย
he says as much. โi love you. oh my god, i love you. holy shit.โ
โdonโt start with the loser behavior again, please,โ you mutter against the kiss. he wants to laugh, but he doesnโt dare leave your lips. โbut i love you too.โ
soonyoung doesnโt think heโll get tired of hearing it. the past 10 years of his life have led up to this moment. it will take so much more than that for him to ever get used to the feeling of you telling him you love him.
he rests his forehead against yours and smiles. โiโm so happy.โ
โme too, soonie.โ
he watches as your hands leave his hair and travel down his chest, taking their time to trace every line and curve of every muscle. you finish the job of undoing his belt and unbuttoning his jeans, and thatโs about all he can take before he decides itโs time to stop holding back.ย
before you can even touch his zipper, he grabs your face and kisses you roughly, tongue twisting with yours immediately. he kisses you like heโs held his breath for 10 years and youโre air. you kiss him back the same, exact way.ย
he finishes undressing, kicking his pants away and wasting no time picking you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he does. his cock twitches violently once itโs sandwiched between you and his stomach, and he has you laying back in his bed in mere seconds.ย
our bed, a voice in his head reminds him. a bed we can share. if you want.
when you tear yourself away from him to catch your breath, your eyes immediately go south, and he doesnโt have to follow your gaze to know what youโre gaping at.ย
โsee something you like?โ
you donโt even pretend to hear what he said. โuh, what?โ
it inflates his ego to unprecedented levels, but he doesnโt gloat and annoy you the way he usually would. mostly because his laughs are cut off with your frantic begging.ย
โsoonyoung,โ you whisper so suddenly and seriously, he freezes. โput it in me.โ
the order catches him by so much surprise, he laughs even harder than before. โi canโt just put it in you.โ
you shove him and he pushes off the bed to put some space in between you. he looks at you, amused. โwhat?! what do you mean you canโt just put it in me?โ you sound the most offended heโs ever heard you. โis that not how sex works? you put that in me? likeโฆ over and over again?
โbaby, please,โ his laughs are bordering on uncontrollable wheezing. โyouโre making this so unsexy.โ
โyou made it unsexy first!โ you complain. โput it in me, soonyoung!โ
he wants to keep pretending that this is incredibly unsexy, but this exchange, however goofy, is just making him want to fuck you even more. โstop saying that!โ
โwhy?! you keep making me wait!โย
the way you complain and beg makes soonyoung briefly forget that youโre losing your virginity, and he isnโt letting that happen without proper foreplay firstโwithout getting at least one orgasm out of you.
โpuโโ
before you can tell him to put it in you again, he presses his hand against your mouth. โokay!โ he says, raising his voice to drown out your muffled pleas. โokay! shhh. relax, and i will. alright?โ your eyes widen and he feels a burn in his stomach when he sees the submission in them. you nod. โgood girl.โ
you moan into his hand and grind your hips up into his.ย
โoh, you like that?โ he asks, smirking. all you do is squirm more.ย
he releases your mouth, and when you stay silent on your own accordโso willingly compliantโhe thinks there are a few things heโd like to try in bed later on down the line.
soonyoung plants a wet kiss on your lips before he rests his hand against your neck, eyes watching as you swallow underneath his fingertips. he thinks you look pretty like this: bare throat adorned by his fingers. he has a passing thought to ask you if you would ever be into being choked, but thereโs no fucking way heโd do that during your first time having sex. he lets the thought go, making note of it for a later time.ย
โso pretty,โ he says, finger tapping your lower lip. when you take his finger into your mouth all the way, sucking it and releasing it with a pop, he has to spend a few moments reminding himself he canโt cum already. โjesus christโฆโ he sighs. he needs to move fast or he will be embarrassing himself tonight. โlet me know if i do anything you donโt like, okay?โ
you nod quicklyโimpatiently. your enthusiasm stutters when he doesnโt immediately โput it inโ like youโve been begging. you frown as he pulls away again, but when he settles with his head between your legs, your tune changes immediately.ย
โoh.โ
soonyoung has dreamed about this moment for so long. heโs had obscene, vulgar thoughts about youโthoughts he would touch himself to. heโs spent an embarrassing amount of nights moaning your name while vigorously grinding into his fist, and all it took for him to cum was the thought of tasting you. he didnโt even have to think about fucking into your pussy or how wet you would be or how warm you would feelโall he thought about was eating you out until you came all over his face, and that would do it for him.ย
if he was looking to get a quick orgasm, maybe release some frustration from a day spent hanging out with you, heโd just rub one out in the shower. but if it was one of those nights he was tossing and turning, thinking about how much he loved you and how much he wanted you to be his, heโd throw his blankets off, grab a bottle of lotion, a box of tissues, and sometimes, when he was feeling especially depraved, his favorite photos heโs taken of you. there was something about looking at photos no one else has seen of youโno matter how ordinary or innocentโthat turned him on.
his daydreams always started with getting you sinfully wet. yes, with your own arousal, but with his spit too. heโd massage it into your clit, mixing the both of you and your pleasures together until your hips are bucking and shoving your needy cunt in his face. then, heโd give in and lap your clit gently and the first taste would send his eyes rolling into the back of his head. he would try to stay cool and composed, but realistically, he knew tasting you would send him into a frenzy.ย
heโd already be close by this point in his fantasies, whining and groaning, his phone and photos of you long forgotten because he has to squeeze his eyes shut to keep from coming before he could finish playing everything out in his head.ย ย
because soonyoung couldnโt cum before his favorite part: when he would imagine shoving his face as far in between your legs as he could, extending his tongue as far into you as humanly possible. youโd say his name the way no one has ever said his name. youโd pull at his hair until he was sure you were permanently damaging all of his follicles. sometimes, heโd immediately cum after this. other times, heโd be able to at least get to the part where he starts fucking you with his fingers.ย
on lucky days, he would reach the end of his dreams. by this time, heโd be feverishly tugging on his cock, a mess of sweat and whimpers of your name as he thought about you squirting all over his face. he would drink you up like itโs the fucking elixir of life. you would make the filthiest mess of his faceโchin dripping, cheeks sticky, lips swollen and covered in youโand he would thank you for it and beg for more. of course, more would never come because he would make a mess of his own hand after that.ย
he always felt like a pervert afterโalways felt so guilty picturing his best friend like this and doing something so dirty with you in mindโbut the next night would come and the next night and the next, and he couldnโt think of anything else. anyone else.ย
and as lewd and impure and delicious and downright euphoric as his fantasies were, nothing could have prepared him for how much fucking better the real thing would feel. how much better the real you would taste.ย
by the time you cum on his face, not once but twice, he knows this is something he can do for the rest of his life. he would never even need you to fuck him or blow him or give him a handjob; all he literally needs is to devour your cunt any time youโd grant him the privilege to and heโd be a happy man for the rest of his life.ย
youโre still panting, chest heaving from your orgasms, when soonyoung climbs up over you once more and wraps his arms around your waist, kissing, nipping, licking, and whispering i-love-yous from your collarbone and up until he reaches your lips. he kisses you lightly just in case you donโt want to put your lips on him after he just ate you out, but when you deepen the kiss and hug him even closer, he thinks you might actually like the taste of you on his mouth.ย
โsoonie,โ you eventually whisper against him.ย
โmmm?โย
you say something that heโs been wanting to hear for a decade. you confirm something heโs been desperately searching for signs of for your entire friendship. โi want to be yours. i want to be yours so bad.โ
he stops peppering you with kisses and watches you carefully, like this all might still be a hallucination that will fade if he gets too lost in the moment. but you remain where you are, looking at him with as much love as he imagines heโs always looked at you. tears gather in your eyes, some escaping the corners. he catches every single one that does, pressing it back into your skin with his finger.ย
when you give him a small smile to tell him youโre okayโthat these are just tears of happinessโhe leans in, presses his cheek to yours, and promises you, โthen iโll make you mine.โ
just being inside you is enough to make soonyoung want to cry. he does his absolute fucking best not to because you already are and he doesnโt want you to think of anything other than yourself and your pleasure during your first time. but he wants to cry as he buries his face into your neck and slowly pushes into you, only moving whenever you say itโs okay to.
when he woke up today, he did it with swollen eyes from a night spent crying over you. he tortured himself all day, thinking about how every last time he had with you was the last and he didnโt even know itโthe last laugh he heard, the last smile he saw, the last time you bickered with him, the last time you told him you loved him. he steeled himself to face your tears or your screaming or whatever else you did to him when he ended your friendship.ย
at the start of the day, soonyoung was preparing for his life to be overโfor you to take every good thing heโs ever had and felt with you when he forced you to walk away.
now, heโs fully buried inside you, forehead resting against yours as you both struggle to adjust to the overwhelming feeling of each other. itโs when you tell soonyoung that after 10 years, thereโs nothing that will change your mind about him, that he finally moves.ย
โoh fuck,โ he breathes as he starts rolling his hips, cock dragging in and out of you in an astonishingly seamless fit. โyour cunt is perfect.โ
you bloom at the praise, and you donโt shy away from returning it, chanting his name over and over again, whispers of how good he feels wherever you can fit them in betweenโhow good he is for you, how he was made for you.ย
โy/n,โ he gasps. he tries to tell you that if you keep saying his name like thisโlike heโs yoursโheโs going to cum inside you. but all that comes out is: โoh my god.โ
and all you say is โsoonyoungโ again and again and again. heโs never put any thought into his birth-given name, but tonight, he decides itโs his favorite string of letters. he never wants to hear you say anyone elseโs name. he never wants anyone other than you to say his name. itโs yours and yours alone.ย
at some point, he can tell you can handle even more, and he pushes up off you, using the headboard as leverage as he pounds into you harder and rougher, rhythm becoming erratic and frenzied. the noises that come out of your mouth are so nasty, heโs on the brim of losing it.ย
โoh my god. look at you,โ he pants, his sweat dripping from his face, his neck, and his chest onto you. a drop lands on the corner of your mouth, and without hesitating, your tongue darts out to lick it up, and he groans.
itโs too much: your neediness, your obedience, your eagerness. your titsโone sporting his hickeyโbouncing wildly as he fucks you at a brutal pace. your unbelievably tight cunt, sucking his cock in so desperately, near-strangling it and refusing to let him go.ย
โso fucking perfect,โ he tells you.ย
you make it clear that youโre not lasting longโthat your third orgasm is on the horizon. itโs a bittersweet realization; on one hand, heโs relieved because heโs been holding his own orgasm off since his tongue met your clit. on the other, he never wants to stop fucking you.ย
but this is just the start, he tries to remind himself. this is just the first time, and there will be so many more nowโnow that youโre his and heโs yours.ย
your voice rings loudly in his ears again. i want to be yours so bad.
his voice is hoarse when he asks, โdo you feel like youโre mine yet?โ
you nod frantically, pussy squeezing tightly around him like the thought is pushing you even closer to finishing. โyes, god, yes. yes!โย
โsay it,โ he demands, eyes never leaving yours. he canโt look away when you look like you would say or do anything for him.ย
โiโm yours,โ you say immediately. โsoonieโฆ iโm yours, soonyoung.โ his name comes out in a tortured whimper.ย
โi never want to hear another name come out of your mouth ever again,โ he declares. โah, fuck, holy shit. you feel so fucking good, baby. just for me, huh? oh fuck.โ his orgasm is begging to be released, but he refuses to let up until you reach yours. โyouโre mine. and iโm yours.โ
you barely finish agreeing and calling soonyoung โmineโ when your pussy is suddenly and violently quivering around him, pulsing and throbbing as you ride through your third orgasm of the night. the feeling of your climax squeezing around soonyoung is unreal, and he pulls out just in time to avoid coming inside of you, painting your beautiful, soft skin with his bliss.ย
it feels like it lasts forever, the spurts of white splattering you. he thinks he could get hard again when you let your mouth hang open and catch some of him on your tongue.
โholy shit,โ he breathes when heโs tugged himself dry, leaning back and trying to catch his breath. he feels drops of sweat sliding down his body everywhere, his muscles burning deliciously.ย
soonyoung looks down at you and is pleased to see you covered with him: his cum, his sweat, his spit. he made good on his promise. if you donโt look like his right now, he has no idea what you look like.
โcโmere,โ you whine, reaching for him with grabby hands when you have no energy to sit up and actually take hold of him.ย
he smiles and leans in to kiss you, before retrieving a towel from the bathroom to clean you both up with.ย
for the rest of the night, you two stay tangled up in each otherโs arms and talk about when you fell in love.
you: when you first met him.ย
him: when you first walked into the room.
neither of you know if the other is telling the truth or if youโre just trying to win the i-loved-you-first competition (youโre both telling the truth).ย
you talk about what the future looks like. you decide you donโt know for sure, but one thing youโre confident about is that youโll be facing it together.ย one thing soonyoung is sure about is that heโll be making you his wife.
you ask if you can make your anniversary two days from now so it doesnโt land on your birthday. soonyoung asks if you can make it two days prior so that he can forget that he was trying to leave you on your 30th birthday. you agree.ย
you both run through every big moment either of you can remember being so hopelessly in love with each other, it hurt and what the other person was thinking at that moment. for every memory of yours soonyoung can remember, heโs able to tell you he was suffering just as much as you were. the same is true for you. for every memory he canโt remember, he feels like a kid, giggling and kicking his feet in bed with you hearing about how you were equally, pathetically down bad for him.
your birthday party is long forgotten, traded for an intimate night getting to know each other in drastically different ways than you did as best friends. soonyoung feels like heโs meeting you for the first time againโa privilege he never thought he would be afforded ever again. aside from learning what you liked from your time in his bed tonight, he learns a lot.
like for one, you actually are very into physical affection, something soonyoung thought you didnโt like displaying since you were constantly shoving him away; you just avoided it because it exacerbated your feelings for him and blurred the lines too much for you. in fact, you stay burrowed into his side the entire night, whining any time he moved a tiny bit away, even when it was just to adjust his position or reach to turn off the lamp. you love playing with his hair and tracing little patterns on his chest (he thinks one of the things you traced was your names together). you constantly thread his fingers with yours and when you get tired of that, you still keep your pinkies linked.
he learns you love hanging out at his apartment more than you like the fancy dinners. you feel the most at home with him when youโre actually home with him. you tell him your favorite nights are when youโre in charge of placing a food delivery order at his place while he unwinds from his workday, showering and changing (and unbeknownst to you, probably jacking off in the shower to make sure he doesnโt accidentally get hard while you two hang out). you say it feels like youโre his wife and this is your home too. the sentiment is enough to make him tear up, and you, of course, tease him mercilessly once a fat teardrop lands on your head.
by the time the sun is rising, soonyoung realizes you both have rewritten siquijor in the confines of his bedroom. all the miscommunication (or absolute lack thereof) and the pain and heartbreak have been replaced. from where you two lay in bed, he watches the sunโs rays start to reach into the sky, turning it stunning shades of orange, pink, purple, and blue, and for the first time in seven years, he doesnโt cringe away from it and the feelings of loneliness it used to bring. he doesnโt feel heartbroken all over again like he used to.
this time, the sun rises, and soonyoung feels so ridiculously happy. you quietly watch the sky with him, and he thinks you know what heโs thinking of as you continuously trace hearts, one after the other, never-ending, into his skin.
โitโs a new day,โ you say quietly.
โit is,โ he agrees, his heart full. โitโs a new day, and i love you even more than i did yesterday.โ
you hug him tighter to you even though there is literally no space between you.
โi love you, soonie.โ you yawn. โis it time to say good night?โ
โitโs morning, baby.โ
โno, we didnโt go to sleep. itโs definitely still night.โ
he grins and doesnโt bother arguing with that logic. he moves to get out of bed, but you immediately lock your arms so he canโt. he snorts. โiโm just going to pull the curtains so we can sleep.โ
you sigh like itโs still an inconvenience, but you release him all the same. โfine. you should get, like, a remote for them or something. isnโt that what rich people do?โ
he rolls his eyes as he gets up and closes the curtains, bidding the sunriseโthe best of his lifeโa farewell for now. โrich people stay rich by not buying things they donโt need, baby.โ
โi donโt think so,โ you disagree, arms opening again for soonyoung to lay back in.
โyou know what, whatever you say,โ he says as you kiss all the skin you can reach from where you hug him. he preens at the feeling. โyouโre always right.โ
you hum, smiling against him. โgood boyfriend.โ
โsoon-to-be husband,โ he mutters before yawning.
you giggle the same way you have been every time heโs corrected you tonight. โsoonie-be-husband.โ
he scoffs. โboo,โ he heckles you. โbad! get off the stage!โ you laugh harder, and it coaxes a soft smile out of him as he watches you.
โbest friendโ doesnโt seem like such a bad title in this moment anymore. he thinks he gets it now that heโs able to call you even more than that; itโs such an honor to be able to be both your boyfriend and your best friend now. itโs such an honor to be able to build something more on a foundation of friendship as strong as the one he shares with you.
when the laughter subsides, you both sigh, sinking into the bed further and getting comfortable.
โgood night, love of mine,โ he says, kissing the top of your head.
โmine,โ you repeat like you canโt get enough of the sound of it. โyours.โ
soonyoung smiles and his eyes flutter closed with exhaustion, thoughts bleary but still painted with you and the last 10 years as he starts to drift off to sleep. if this is what he gets to have now, whatever pain he withstood and however much time he wasted is nothing to himโjust a moot point in the story youโll both tell for years to come.
he dreams of you two in siquijor that night, this time both of you sober and wrapped in each other and in love, with the rest of your lives ahead of you.
๐ 18+, minors do not interact โข masterlist โข submit a request
(ใฃหถห แต หหถ)แฃโ แฐ request from this prompt game
@studioeisa: "hey trixie i saw u rb the writing prompt thingo .. ๐ i canโt see the issue + soonyoung (or dealer's choice on any member!!!)"
soonyoung's pov โข your pov โฃ
soonyoung has been pulling away from you for weeks now. it seems that tonight is the night he wipes his hands clean of you.
โซ darl+ing svt
pairing: soonyoung x fem!reader
word count: 8.7k
tags: best friends to lovers, idiots in love, a bit of miscommunication, angst for like one second, happy ending
cw: smut โ unprotected piv (v irresponsible piv donโt be like these two); reader loses virginity; spit; oral f. receiving; fingering; sy likes the idea of people hearing them fucking but no one actually hears them; just really vanilla, really soft, really mushy smut tbh, vanilla pudding smut if you will lol
a/n: for the biggest-brained, funniest, most talented kae โ i hope you like it <3 if you don't, just lie to me <3 โข i know the request didn't include smut, but this one truly TRULY got away from me (as you can tell from this monstrous word count lol), and it kinda just wrote itself, smut included. i did mark where the scene starts and ends in case anyone doesnโt want to read it, but that's a courtesy to adults uninterested in reading explicit material. if you're a minor, pls scroll away
you look around, grinning widely as everyone sings to you. the lights are turned off in soonyoungโs apartment, the light from the thirty candles on your cake more than enough to illuminate your face. you meet each of your friends' eyes, your heart so full of love as you look at each of them.
you leave the person you want to look at most for last. finally, you meet soonyoungโs gaze. you don't mean to, but you feel your smile immediately falter.
heโs singing, but you can barely hear his voiceโalready uncharacteristic of him on its own. he's spent every, single one of your birthdays since you've met obnoxiously scream-singing, arms usually wrapped tightly around your neck as he bent over you, caging you in from behind. whether it was in front of a party of people (like tonight) or just you two, he was always singing like the fate of your year relied on how loud he was in those first few moments of it.
he'd always press his cheek against yours, swinging you both back and forth to a beat only you two could hear. then, after the singing was over, and after you made your wish, he would press a kiss to your temple, wish you a happy birthday once more, and he would be the first person in your life to tell you they loved you in your new age.
so this silence is painfully loud. on top of that, he also doesnโt smile back at you, a faraway look in his eyes as he mindlessly sings. itโs like youโre not even there. itโs like heโs singing to an empty seat in front of a cake that definitely counted as a fire hazard.
things with soonyoung have been weird for the last several weeks. if you were being honest, things have been hard. you, of course, continuously asked what was wrong, and he, of course, denied anything was wrong. but the writing was on the wall: he dodged your calls, rescheduled hangouts over and over until plans just completely fell through, and hardly texted back anymore. it was clear to anyone with a pulse that he was avoiding you.
and when he finally invited you over tonight to blow out your candles, and you walked in, completely surprised to find your friends all gathered to celebrate you, you thought, oh, that's what was wrong. he was just planning to surprise me
you thought the awkwardness and flighty behavior was over. the surprise went well, he kept everything a secretโdidn't spoil anythingโand you were grateful. but here you two were, looking at each other from across the room like you were strangers. and you weren't strangers. kwon soonyoung is the most important person in your life. he's your best friend. and you're so achingly, painfully in love with him, this distance feels like it's slowly peeling every layer of you away and letting it disintegrate into thin air.
when everyone finishes singing, you clear your throat and try to force the smile back onto your face. you lean forward, careful to keep your hair from catching any of the candles, and you close your eyes to make a wishโthe same one you've been making every year for the past decade you've known soonyoung.
i wish for the courage to love soonyoung loudly.
you open your eyes and you blow hard, cheeks burning when the absurd amount of flames won't go out. people giggle, and when you stop to take a huge breath, fanning your face from the effort, seokmin and seungkwan both laugh and lean in to help. the three of you get the job done, and they immediately put you to work cutting your cake while they help plate and distribute.
you lose track of soonyoung while on cake duty, and by the time everyone has a slice, any appetite you had for dessert is completely gone. you sink back into the seat you were in while everyone was singing, and you breathe shakily, trying your best not to cry at your own party.
did you do something? is he just getting tired of you? or can he tell that your feelings extend past friendship? after 10 years, did he finally realize? is this his way of letting you down without having to really do it?
you can't help when your eyes start to well with tears. you notice someone starting to look a little too closely at you from your peripheralโprobably joshua, the most observant of your friendsโso you abruptly get up, blushing when the chair almost falls over behind you. you go to the only place you know you'll be left alone in this huge apartment. it's the one place soonyoung doesn't let any of his guests go, except for you.
you all but barrel into his bedroom, quickly closing the door behind you and leaning against it. you made it just in time for your tears to start flowing.
soonyoung's room looks different from the last time you saw it. heโs a generally tidy person; of the two of you, youโre the messy one. right now, the state of his room feels like a reflection of your thoughts and feelings: disheveled, chaotic, and messy. he has clothes, both clean and used, strewn all over the placeโthe bed, the floor, his corner chair. drawers are thrown open, their contents very clearly rummaged through. he has a pile of empty water bottles in the corner, and his nightstand is so littered with random stuff, he has no room to even set a phone down. it astounds you enough that you momentarily stop crying.
you wipe your tears away, frowning at everything that has managed to change in the weeks leading up to your 30th birthday. this was not the way you wanted to start the new decade.
you hear a muffled cough and you're panicked to realize that soonyoung had the same idea you did. he's outside on the balcony attached to his bedroom, leaning up against the railing and looking out into the black night. he hasn't noticed that anyone has entered his room, and you're about to leave when something stops you.
"you're 30 now for god's sake," you mutter. "get a fucking grip."
you're tired of wishing for the same thing every yearโwishing for something that isn't even out of your grasp because you could just decide to be brave. and instead of choosing to do that, you spent the last 10 years cowering behind the excuse that you desperately needed soonyoung in your life however he would take you, even if thatโs just as his friend.
but if you're losing him now anyway, you might as well lose him for the reason you feared you would for the last decade.
you turn away from where you were about to escape back into the party, and you're joining your best friend outside before you can think twice.
he startles a little, briefly glancing at you, but when he realizes who it is, he simply looks back into the night. it hurts more than just being told to go awayโto be ignored like this.
"what are you doing?"
"just needed some air," he answers quietly.
"no," you say, willing your voice to stay steady even though your eyes are already filling with tears again. "what are you doing? why are you ignoring me? why are you avoiding me?" you pause, taking a deep breath. "why are you acting like i'm not your best friend?"
soonyoung lives near the damn top of his pretentiously tall apartment building, and the wind is cold and biting up here, especially with how short your dress is. it doesn't compare to what he says next.
"because you're not." he says it the way he would say that he's having a good day. or that work was tiring. or that he wants to order food delivery. he says it like it's not something that has the power to kill you. โat least, i donโt want you to be.โ
"what are you saying?"
you don't hear it, but from the way his shoulders dip, you can tell soonyoung sighs deeply. and it looks so sad and so spent, you have trouble grasping that you could possibly be the cause of whatever this is that's eating at him.
"what are you saying, soonyoung?" you ask more forcefully, unable to keep the tears out of your voice this time. if he was going to end your friendship, he was going to have the balls to say it to your face. you aren't leaving until you're forced to.
he turns away from the railing, pressing his back against it to face you. he slips his hands into his pockets and stares down at the floor. his eyes are just as red-rimmed as you imagine yours are, and you hateโyou hate that your first instinct is to ask him what's wrong. to hold him and comfort him when he's the one who's telling you he no longer wants to be friends.
"do you remember your 23rd birthday?" he asks, voice gravely with emotion, as if heโs spent the entirety of the last few weeks crying. your chest hurts. maybe he has.
you turned 23 in the philippines. soonyoung has always had more money than he knew what to do with, and he has always been uncomfortably generous with itโat least when it came to you. and that year, he surprised you with a month-long trip that ended the weekend of your birthday, where you both found yourselves on a beach in siquijor, sharing an alcoholic mango smoothie and a small ube cake that soonyoung had gotten for you.
you knew you loved him long before then, but you remember that birthday being one of your most miserable, solely because it was the best. and it was what you wanted with soonyoung, but you could only have it as his best friend. you had never felt so loved and so lonely at the same time.
"siquijor. what about it?" you ask, a little irritated. if you were going to have your heart stomped on the moment you turned 30, you'd rather he just get on with it.
soonyoung smiles for the first time tonight, but you hate it. it's half-assed, sadโand not just sad, but nostalgic sadโand it's being wasted on the floor.
"do you remember why you cried that morning?"
he uses the term morning loosely. it was 4 a.m., so yes, morning, but also no, not morning because you had both stayed up all night. and unfortunately, he had gotten you several more alcoholic drinks before the bar closed, and you were all but blacked out by 2 a.m. you only know that because your last selfie on your phone was time stamped just before two.
you wouldn't have believed him when he insisted you were conscious that entire time if he hadn't shown you videos of you passionately trying to convince him that in another life, he could've been a k-pop idol.
you hardly believe him now because you don't remember crying at all. and he certainly never told you that you had.
"i..." you don't know what to say.
"you don't," he confirms, sounding bitter. "it's okay. i had a feeling you didn't."
you frown, eyes falling to the spot on the floor you're sure is the same one he's been staring at. you don't realize you're shivering as violently as you are until you see soonyoung's feet step into your line of vision, his jacket slipping across your shoulders.
large hands carefully adjust the jacket around your neck and when they're done, they gently grip the lapel and hang there, dead weight against your sternum. you dare to look up and find that he still refuses to look you in the eye, instead staring at his own hands.
the wind isn't what's making you shake, and the jacket doesn't help it stop.
"you said you were lonely," he informs you quietly. he sounds as choked up as you feel, like you're both battling the same stubborn knot in your throat. "you told me that this was everything you could have ever wantedโthat you were so happy and it was the best month of your life. and you told me..." he breathes deeply and sniffles before continuing. you look up and watch his eyes fill with tears. "you told me you just wish you were experiencing it with someone you were in love with instead."
you involuntarily let out a strangled noise, feeling like that knot is suddenly demanding to be let out. โiโwhat?โ
thereโs that horrible smile again. โi tried not to let it hurt me,โ he admits. โi tried to be a good sport. you were drunk, you were sad about never having had a boyfriend, and i know you werenโt trying to hurt me.โ
your stomach turns painfully and youโre glad you didnโt have cake, otherwise it mightโve been regurgitated all over soonyoung by now.
you never had a lack of suitors or options; you just knew it would be impossible to look at anyone else, let alone be in love with them, while you were so preoccupied with your best friend. until now, you still havenโt ever had a boyfriend, still havenโt even had your first kiss, still havenโt felt what itโs like to have someone tell you โi love youโ romantically.
soonyoung takes a watery breath, lips trembling, as the first of his tears begin to streak his cheeks. โbut it hurt,โ he canโt speak above a whisper. โit hurt more than anything iโve ever felt, y/n.โ
your hands close over his, more out of instinct than anything else, and you hold them like itโs the only thing that will keep him from running out of your life. you hate that, among all the warring emotions inside you, you suddenly feel hope blooming over everything. saying that only wouldโve hurt soonyoung if he wanted to be the person you were in love with. right?
โsoonyoung.โ his name comes out of your mouth with sharp, desperate edges around it. โthatโs not what i meant. iโโ
โitโs okay, iโve had time toโโ
โbut if you would just let me exโโ
โthereโs nothing to explain,โ he says quietly, finally, finally meeting your gaze. โi stayed around, didnโt i?โ
the question shuts you up. or maybe itโs the way his eyes are swimming with pain you realized heโs been harboring for much longer than the last few weeks.
โi stayed for seven more years. if i needed you to explain, i wouldโve asked the second you woke up sober.โ
your hope deflates. the way he says the number of years makes it sound like thatโs all it will ever be now. seven years. the last birthday heโll be sticking around for.
โonly seven?โ you ask quietly.
you feel his fists tighten around the fabric of his own jacket briefly before his hands slip away from under you, retreating back into his pockets. you feel so cold.
he doesnโt answer, and that feels like an answer in itself. โinstead of throwing myself a pity party, i decided iโd wait until your 30th birthday,โ he tells you. โi didnโt mind spending all of my 20s pining after my best friend.โ
your heart leaps into your throat.
โi didnโt mind waiting seven more years to see if you would ever return my feelings,โ he says, voice shakier and shakier as he continues. โmy friends, they told me i was insane for letting my 20s go to waste like that. but to meโฆ if i still got to be around you, still give you experiences and love that made you feel like thatโs what you deserved from someone you actually were in love with, thenโฆ i canโt see the issue in that. iโd happily wait seven more years. because even if it was seven years of the same longingโand even if it was seven years leading to nothing more, it was still seven years of me being able to show you how well i couldโฆ how well i could love you. how much i do love you.โ
it strikes you then that the way soonyoung looks at you isnโt a way that anybody has ever looked at you. you used to think it was the delusion of being in love with himโthat your brain was tricking you into thinking he felt a certain way about you because that would be convenient for you. but standing here, pinned down by his gaze, you have no choice but to accept that it was clearly in front of you this whole time.
โsoonieโโ
he keeps going like if he lets you speak, he wonโt ever be able to muster up the courage to say this again, and you realize you both did waste your 20s. you wasted it being afraid of just telling each other how you felt. the fact that you couldโve had soonyoung the way youโve always wanted since you were 23 devastates you.
โbut i told myselfโฆ while you slept in my lap on that beach in siquijor, that if by the time you turned 30, we still hadnโt moved pastโฆ thisโฆโ he looks away again, opting to stare at something over your head. โthen, i wouldnโt spend my 30s torturing myself anymore. iโd let you go.โ
โi donโt want you to let me go!โ you practically shriek. he flinches at the sudden outburst, his eyes snapping back down to you. โi donโt want you to let me go, you stupid idiot!โ you repeat. โif thatโs what youโve been doing the last, few weeks, โletting me goโโโ you make exaggerated air quotes out of your fingers, clearly agitated. โโthen knock it off!โ
โwhโโ he makes a disgruntled noise as you slap him in the chest.
โwhat i meant to tell you, it came out wrong. i didnโt even mean to tell you anything, but if drunk me outed me like that, i need you to know thatโs not what i meant.โ
all the words he kept cutting off tonight tumble out of you quickly and freely now.
โi was lonely. i was really lonely, and yes, it was because i enjoyed that vacation so much and yes, it was because i wished i could have it with someone i was in love with, but i was having it with someone i was in love with!โ
his body stiffens and his eyes widen but you donโt stop.
โi just meant i wanted it to mean more for both of us,โ you explain desperately. โi wanted to be on vacation with youโbut you as my boyfriend! not you as my best friend! thereโs no one else i wouldโve wanted to be with, soonyoung!โ
you feel tears on your skin now, and you try to speak even faster because you know youโre on borrowed time before you devolve into a mess of sobs that wonโt let you explain anything.
โdo you think iโve been single our entire friendship for fun?! do you think itโs fun being the 30-year-old virgin whoโs never even kissed anyone?! because itโs not!โ you screech through tears. you canโt even muster up the energy to be mortified at how horrible you must look right now. โbut i didnโt want anyone else! i wanted you! you waited seven years, but i waited ten! TEN, soonyoung! do youโโ
his lips are on yours.
your mind is quiet.
the wind isnโt cold.
you taste champagne and salt.
soonyoung holds your face gently, thumb caressing your cheeks while his long fingers slide into your hair. youโve imagined how he must kiss a million times in your head. every time he licked his lips, puckered them for a photo, pressed them against your temple in what you deluded yourself into thinking was platonic affectionโyou would imagine exactly this.
soft, plush lips slotted in between yours, moving like youโre the only person they were made for. and even though you didnโt imagine it would be so salty from both of your tears, itโs exactly as perfect as you wanted your first kiss to beโas perfect as you wanted your first kiss with soonyoung to be.
when you get over the shock of it, you rest your hands on his chest, exploring the planes of it. you pause for a moment, enjoying the way you can feel the erratic beat his heart before reaching up, wrapping your arms around his neck, and pulling him into an even deeper kiss. it coaxes a sound out of him that convinces you heโs really yours, and he lets go of your face to circle your waist and hold you close.
you donโt know how and youโre not even sure when, but you end up in his bed, every inch of his body deliciously pressing against yours after he walked the two of you inside without ever leaving your lips.
his tongue slips into your mouth, and the moan that escapes you does so without your permission. you feel him twitch against your thigh and you canโt help but giggle into the kiss a little.
he pulls away, mouth pink and swollen. he rests his forehead against yours and smiles.
โwhatโs so funny, hm?โ
itโs the first time in weeks that youโve really heard his voiceโthe way you know and love it. light, happy, and, now that youโre equipped with the proper information, in love with you. you hear it loud and clear. you wonder if he hears it too.
โnothing,โ you breathe, threading your fingers through the long hair at the nape of his neck until your hand is resting against the buzzed part of his undercut. you scratch his scalp there and he hums in contentment. you smile. โi love you, soonyoung.โ
he lifts his forehead to better look at you. his eyes soften impossibly more and he looks like heโs trying to commit every detail of your face and this moment to memory. you realize youโre doing the same.
โiโve always loved you,โ you add, wanting to erase any lingering doubts that your 23rd birthday caused. โfrom the very start.โ
his response is to push himself up and off you so that heโs on his knees, resting between your legs. you prop yourself up on your elbows, frowning from the sudden space. itโs exactly the opposite of what you want, but you know from the look on his face that it doesnโt mean heโs going anywhere or that heโs changed his mind. it confuses you to think that he looked at you this way for most of your friendship and you never thought it meant anything. it means everything.
he clears his throat, looking down briefly before meeting your eyes again. you only notice the bulge in his pants then, and you smile knowing that you felt that react to your moans.
โhow far?โ he asks, his voice so coated with desire, you shiver. he doesnโt need to elaborate. โi donโt want you to feel rushed or pressured. i justโฆ we wasted so much time, and iโโ
โall the way,โ you say confidently, letting yourself lay back down and slowly wrapping your legs around his middle, trying not to feel self-conscious as your dress rides up and exposes you. โplease.โ
soonyoung groans like heโs in pain, hands instinctively resting against your bare thighs, eyes drifting down and unable to move from the wet spot between your legs once he sees it. his hands travel painfully slow toward the apex of your thighs, eyes never leaving you. his hands torturously stop when they reach the top.
several seconds pass with you fighting everything in your body to keep from squirming. if he notices, he doesnโt show it, seemingly too mesmerized by whatโs in front of him. his thumbs burrow into the shallow divot where your legs meet your torso, the rest of his fingers kneading the flesh of your thighs, hard enough that you kind of hope theyโll bruiseโgive you something to remind you this was real. this happened.
he moves just as youโre about to ask him what heโs thinking about.
suddenly, as if heโs giving in to a voice telling him to just take what he wants, soonyoung allows his right hand to close the distance, tracing your skin until it leads his index finger straight to the part of you that needs him the most right now. he looks downright hypnotized as his finger meets your panties at their hollow part, where your hole is. you clench around nothing and you know he can tell when he finally breaks out of his thoughts and smirks. he only presses far enough to brush against the skin of your entrance before cruelly moving on.ย
he slowly drags his finger up your slit with a little more pressure than he afforded your hole and you sigh into the movement, trying to move further down so you can feel him more. he squeezes your hip to keep you where you are, though, biting down on his lip as he watches you closely. if you werenโt so turned on, youโd be self-conscious under his attention.
then, finally, his finger finds the place you swear it belongs, and heโs pressed against your clit. your panties stick to you uncomfortably but you donโt have the words to properly tell him to take them off, writhing under the pressure of his finger instead.
soonyoung doesnโt move, just watching you breathe and beg incoherently in shallow gasps, and just when you think heโll finally move his fingerโthat heโll finally start giving you what youโve wanted for so longโhe takes his hand back. he laughs a little at your whine of protest, pushing down on your hip with the hand thatโs resting there when you uncontrollably buck up into the space his finger just vacated.
"what?" you hiss at him. he laughs even harder, his pretty eyes turning into those narrow crescents you love so much. he crawls over you once more. "why are you laughing?!" you complain, face getting hot. "did i do something embarrassing?"
"'embarrassing'?" soonyoung repeats incredulously. he does nothing less than scoff in your face. "no, baby, your neediness is not 'embarrassing.' it's fucking hot."
your face gets even warmer. whether it's because he's being lewd or because he called you baby, you're not sure.
"shut up," you mutter. he grins down at you.
"gladly."
to your dismay, he doesnโt press himself against you like he did earlier. he hovers, planting a light kiss on your nose, then on your lips, lingering for only a moment before he leans back a little like he's trying to get a good look at your face. he brings his hand up to cradle your face, pushing the wind-tangled hair away from it.
the tiniest of smiles pull at his lips.
โi love you,โ he finally returns. โi love you so god damn much, i thought i was going to die having to leave you.โ
โyouโre not leaving me,โ you say firmly. the love youโre feeling for him is so strong, it leaves no room for doubt. you know that as long as youโll have him, heโll stay. and as long as he'll have you, you will too.
โiโm not,โ he agrees.
he doesnโt say anything else, instead leaning down to capture your lips again. he doesnโt let it last long, though, moving from your mouth, to your jaw, your neck, and your collarbone. youโre a mess of gasps and moans as he kisses his way back up, until his lips are just barely grazing your ear.
โyou tell me if you want to stop, okay?โ he whispers softly. โand weโll stop, no questions asked.โ
you nod and he nips at your lobe before beginning to kiss his way back down, making you moan again. you donโt know if this is always how it feels like or if youโre just overly sensitive from being a 30-year-old virgin, but everywhere soonyoung touches feels like fire.
โyou sound so pretty,โ he mutters as he makes his way lower, unabashedly biting and licking wherever he wants as he goes. โexactly like how i imagined youโd sound.โ you groan loudly when his lips brush over your nipple through the fabric of your dress. โfuck, even better actually.โ
he reaches up and tangles a single finger around the thin strap of your dress, then gently pulls it off your shoulder. he briefly hangs his head in mock agony when he confirms youโre not wearing a bra.
you stifle another giggle, not wanting to keep laughing during something as serious as losing your virginityโto soonyoung, no less.
"what is my life?" he whispers more to himself than anyone else as he lowers his head and shamelessly envelops your bare nipple with his tongue.
the inhale you take at the sensation is sharp, and soonyoung briefly glances up without taking his mouth off of you, one eyebrow quirking as if to ask if you're okay.
youโre more than okay. you feel like your soul is about to float right out of your goddamn body, and the scary thing is heโs barely done anything to you yet. you open your mouth to try and tell him as much, but once your lips part, nothing comes out. you close your eyes, your body arching in response to soonyoung as his swirls his tongue around you, gently nipping every now and then.ย
โsoonyoung,โ you gasp.ย
โfuck.โ
โlower,โ you beg. โplease, god, lower.โ
you feel him smile against your chest. โwhatever you want,โ he whispers.ย
but he doesnโt leave immediately, instead cupping his hand around your breast and biting into the flesh just above your nipple. your hips jerk up against his torso but he doesnโt let go, sucking for a few seconds before he releases you with a pop.ย
he grins down at the blooming mark, giving it the gentlest kiss. โpretty.โ
soonyoung finally makes his way back down between your legs, but not without releasing the other strap of your dress first. he must find some mercy to spare you because, without making you wait the way he has been all night, he lifts your hips up off the bed, pulls your dress down, and in one smooth move, slips both your dress and your panties off you.ย
โoh my god!โ he groans immediately, squeezing your clothes against his eyes. before you can even wonder if somethingโs wrong, he says, โi canโt believe this is my life right now, oh my god.โ
he brings your clothes down just enough to look at you. his eyes narrow like heโs about to cry and you immediately laugh at the idea of soonyoung crying during sexโฆ because he absolutely would.ย
โoh my god, i really have you naked in my bed right now, oh my god oh my god oh my god.โ
โsoonyoung!โ you scold him, coming up onto your elbows and bringing your legs together so your thighs squeeze him. โfocus! come on, youโre just teasing me now.โ youโre fully aware that youโve never sounded whinier in your life, but you canโt bring yourself to care. โplease.โ
โokay, okay, iโm so sorry, iโm not trying to tease you, i swear. i justโฆ iโmโjust, iโitโs just, likeโฆ what?โ he asks it so giddily, you canโt help but smile through your frustration. โyโknow? like, what the actual fuck?โ he babbles, very obviously just starting to process what the hell is happening right now.ย
you groan, glaring at the ceiling. youโre annoyed at how empty you are right now, but at the same time, you feel your affection for soonyoung growing exponentially. even when heโs about to take your virginity, he canโt help but be so aggressively him. and you love it so much.
โitโs crazy how quickly you go from sex god to loser,โ you murmur, unable to stop from grinning when he glowers at you.
โyโknow,โ he starts, voice considerably lower. you hate how much of an effect it has on you. โmy favorite thing about you has always been your patience.โ you snort as he carelessly tosses your clothes aside.
โgood thing i have a lot of it then,โ you retort, eyes catching on his long fingers as they start to undo each button of his shirt.ย
he hums, narrowing his eyes at you. โright.โ
the grin on your face fades fast as he finishes undoing the buttons and shrugs the shirt off. itโs nothing you havenโt seen before; after all, you spent many vacations together in nothing but swimwear the entire time. but as your eyes sweep the dips and curves of his muscles and the way his stomach flexes as he slips off the bed, you realize youโre looking at him in a way you havenโt been able to before.ย
youโre looking at him like heโs yours.ย
โwait,โ you say suddenly, sitting up all the way and crawling over to the edge of the bed where heโs standing, hands frozen in the middle of removing his belt.ย
โchange your mind? itโs fine if you do,โ he assures you quickly, already starting to fasten his belt again.ย
you rest your hands on his to stop them. โno,โ you say, laughing a little. โiโm not going to change my mind, soonie.โ he visibly relaxes at the nickname.ย
you reach up to kiss him, hands going up and into his hair. itโs slow and tender and careful, and you feel like youโre being held with so much care, you suddenly get nervous that you might be the one that ends up crying during sex.ย
โi love you,โ soonyoung whispers between kisses, his arms snaking around your naked waist. โoh my god, i love you, holy shit.โ
โdonโt start with the loser behavior again, please,โ you joke against his lips. you feel him smile. you pull away and sigh, your fingers running across his chest in admiration. โbut i love you too.โ
he breathes deeply, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. โiโm so happy.โ
you smile softly. โme too, soonie.โ
you look down and watch your hands travel down his naked torso until they meet his belt. you finish undoing it, not bothering to remove it from the loops and going straight for the button of his jeans. soonyoungโs breath hitches when you pull his zipper down. before you can shove his jeans down, he grabs your face and brings your lips to his roughly, his tongue inside your mouth in seconds. you donโt know whose moans are whose anymore as he kisses youโnot like itโs the first time, but like itโs the last.ย
his lips get clumsy as he starts to remove his pants himself, shoving his boxer briefs down with them. you donโt get much of a chance to ogle him before his lips are on you again and heโs cupping your ass, forcing your legs to wrap around him. you revel in the feeling of him against your stomachโlong, hard, and yours.ย
he kneels onto his bed, carrying you back to where you were laying before and setting you down gently. when you part, you suddenly understand soonyoungโs brief meltdown. because holy shit. soonyoung is in bed with you. naked. and you physically cannot stop looking down at him.ย
โsee something you like?โ he asks, his voice teasing. even with how arrogant he sounds, you canโt look away.ย
โuhโฆ what?โย
he laughs then, burying his face in the crook of your neck and effectively cutting off your intense eye contact with his dick.ย
โsoonyoung, put it in me,โ you whisper frantically. โhurry up!โ you near shriek at him.ย
he only laughs harder. โi canโt just put it in you.โ
โwhat?!โ you push him away just far enough to be able to look at his face. โwhat do you mean you canโt just put it in me? is this not how sex works? you put thatโโ you widen your eyes at the monster resting against you. โโin me? likeโฆ over and over again?โ
โbaby, please,โ he wheezes with laughter. โyouโre making this so unsexy.โ
โyou made it unsexy first,โ you pout. โput it in me, soonyoung!โ
he bursts into giggles again. โstop saying that!โ
โwhy?! you keep making me wait!โ you complain. โpuโโ
his hand clamps over your mouth before you can repeat yourself. โokay,โ he says, laughter finally subsiding. โokay. shhh. relaxโฆ and i will, alright?โ he doesnโt move so you nod. โgood girl.โ
you make a strangled noise against his hand at the praise and his eyebrows shoot up.ย
โoh, you like that?โ his lips quickly curve into a smirk when your only response is to wriggle under him, hips trying their best to move his dick in the direction you need it to go.ย
he releases your mouth slowly and when you stay silent, his smirk deepens. he brings his hands to your face, squeezing your cheeks together and kissing your puckered lips before he rests it at the base of your neck, fingers splayed across your throat. you briefly wonder if heโd choke you during your first time if you asked. you quickly wave the idea away because you know he wouldnโt.ย
โso pretty,โ he murmurs again, finger tapping your lower lip. you dip your head to take it into your mouth and he groans. โjesus christ.โ you release him and he sighs roughly. โlet me know if i do anything you donโt like, okay?โ
you nod eagerly, thinking itโs finally time to get what your body has been screaming for. so when he pulls away, you make a noise of protest and watch him in confusion as he moves down your body. it isnโt until he forces your knees apart and lays back down between your legs, breath hot on your skin, that you realize what heโs planning on doing.ย
โoh,โ you whisper pathetically.ย
soonyoung looks up at you and you swear he looks excited to absolutely demolish you. without breaking eye contact, he unfurls his tongue from his mouth as far as itโll go, the tip of it just a breath away from touching your clit. you try to move but his grip on your thighs donโt let you. you watch with bated breath as his saliva slides down his tongue, dripping right where you were hoping it would.ย
itโs so fucking obscene, and the second you feel the warmth of his spit on you, you throw your head back and moan.ย
โsoonie,โ you mewl.ย
โgod, i havenโt even done anything and youโre a messโโs so fucking hot,โ he tells you, letting go of one thigh to press his thumb into your clit, massaging his own spit into it. you gasp, bucking into the sensation now that one hip is free from his hold. โpatience, baby,โ he reminds you.ย
soonyoung doesnโt give you a chance to talk back because with no warning, his mouth replaces his thumb and it takes everything in you to keep from screaming. he places his hand back on your thigh just in time to keep you from reflexively caging his head in. he holds you down as he devours you, tongue flicking, sweeping, and circling around all the places no one has ever been. you could cry. you think you might already be. you canโt tell anymore.ย
he begins to massage where he holds you when your thighs start to tremble.ย
โsoonyoung,โ you gasp, hand diving into his hair and fisting it without your permission.ย
he doesnโt mind though, responding with a moan of his own, straight into your cunt. you half-sob at the vibrations of his voice against you. it doesnโt take long before his finger slips into you. then another. multiplying the pleasure tenfold. his tongue never falters as his fingers find and stimulate the small, ribbed spot inside you, pressing and pushing and rubbing to a rhythm thatโas alwaysโonly you and soonyoung can hear.
โoh my god, soonyoung,โ you repeat his name. you donโt know if youโre capable of saying anything else anymore. โsoonie.โ
โyeah, baby,โ he mutters against you, kissing your sex with as much vigor as he was kissing your mouth earlier. โstill okay?โ
you nod wildly. โyes, yes. god, yes.โ
he moans again, eyes flicking up to you as he does. โyou sound so pretty, baby. be louder.โ
โtheโฆโ you sigh as he gently removes his fingers, softly kissing down your slit. โthe partyโฆโ
โlet them hear you,โ he mumbles. โlet them hear how good i make you feel.โ
โbutโฆโ you never finish your sentence.
he leaves one last whisper of a kiss before he suddenly takes two fingers, holds you open, and fully presses his face into you, his tongue entering youโstiff, thick, and so, so warm. you unwillingly follow orders, half-shouting and half-groaning his name. your back arches as he presses impossibly further into you, his tongue touching you in ways you only ever dreamed he would.ย
โsoonyoungโฆ soonyoung!โ you call him, grip in his hair tightening. โiโm going toโฆ iโmโฆโ
โgo ahead, baby,โ he encourages you. โgod, go ahead,โ he practically begs before his tongue dives back into you.ย
his thumb finds your clit once more, working it harder and faster as he slips in and out of you, the sounds of him feasting on you so vulgar, you could listen to it forever. your body starts to inadvertently grind on his face the closer you get.
โsoonyoung, iโmโฆ iโm goingโฆ iโmโฆโ you stammer, trying to pull him up by the hair. โstop, stop, iโm going to cum on your face.โ
soonyoung frowns, thumb never stopping as he takes his tongue back. โthatโs the point baby. i want you to cum on my face.โ his eyes roll back at the thought, and he moans before seeming to shake the thoughts out of his head. โgod, you better cum on my face.โ
โbutโโ
โcum on my fucking face, y/n.โ
that shuts you up and all you can do is nod quickly, allowing him to get back to what he was doing. it doesnโt take long after that. it hits you like a wall, slamming into every part of your body at once, reverberating to every corner of you over and over again. and because soonyoung is a demon and he doesnโt stop, the echoes of your orgasm ripple through you mercilessly until just mere moments later, youโre having another one.ย
and if the way soonyoung smirks into you is any indication, you know heโs aware of exactly what he just did to you. it could have been seconds or it could have been hours when you feel soonyoungโs arms wrapping around your middle, torso pressing into yours as he kisses your neck and makes his way up until his lips are on yours again.ย
you taste yourself on him and you think it should be gross, but it just makes you even wetter knowing that he took that part of you for himselfโthat he drank you up and he loved it.ย
โsoonie,โ you whisper, breath still coming in ragged gasps. he pushes your hair off your forehead as he looks down at you.ย
โmmm?โ he hums, still kissing you wherever he can reach, but always coming back to your lips.ย
โi want to be yours,โ you say. youโre not even sure thatโs what you meant to say. youโre actually 90% sure you wanted to demand he put it in you again, but thatโs what comes out. itโs still trueโmaybe even truerโso you repeat it: โi want to be yours so bad.โ
soonyoung looks at you with so much love, you feel your eyes burning. he doesnโt point out your tears, simply pressing his finger against each one that escapes your eyes. he leans in, presses his cheek against yours, and he whispers: โthen i'll make you mine.โ
he presses against your entrance then, and you gasp.ย
โshhh,โ he soothes you. โtry to relax, okay?โ
he props himself on one elbow, other hand coming to your hip and rubbing gentle circles into the skin there. his touch is comforting and grounding, and you feel your muscles relaxing even as he starts to push into you. your hand comes up to his shoulder, grasping tightly as the stretch starts to burn more and more. you squeeze your eyes shut, head turning to the side as you try to focus on relaxing enough to let soonyoung bottom out.ย
โslow, slow,โ you breathe, even though heโs already barely moving as it is.ย
he plants a kiss on your temple, murmuring apologies against your skin. โiโm sorry, baby. do you feel okay?โ
you nod, eyes still closed. he pauses for a minute or so, settling for peppering kisses all over you. his patience and love helpโtheyโre everything. you adjust and that desire to be completely full comes back to you and you nod quickly at him.ย ย
โkeep going, soonie.โ youโre too eager to be full of him to be embarrassed at how needy you sound. he smiles, coming off his elbow to lay back on you.ย
youโre not sure if the kissing is a distraction, but it works. youโre so preoccupied with the things his tongue is doing with yours that by the time heโs fully sheathed inside you, it doesnโt burn anymore.
โoh my god,โ he breathes, pressing his forehead against you and closing his eyes like heโs trying to concentrate. โoh shit.โ he breathes deeply and evenly. โyou wonโt change your mind about me if i cum too fast, will you?โ
you laugh but thatโs a mistake because it causes you to clench a little, and soonyoung immediately groans, hand going to your shoulder and squeezing to get you to stop.ย
โdonโt, donโt!โ he says quickly. โdonโt squeeze, baby.โ
โsorry,โ you whisper, trying not to giggle. you give him a few moments to collect himself, just like he did with you. โno, by the way,โ you say. he opens his eyes and looks at you. โi wonโt change my mind. itโs been 10 years. nothing will change my mind.โ
the words do something to himโseem to inject some resolve into his bloodstreamโbecause without saying anything, soonyoung starts moving. your lips part at the foreign feeling of his cock dragging against your walls. his every dip and ridge fits to your every ridge and dip, and you donโt need any more evidence to know that soonyoung was made specifically for you.ย
โoh fuck,โ he groans, burying his face in your neck and kissing the skin there. โyou feel so goodโso fucking good,โ he says, his breath hot and heavy in your ear. โyour cunt is perfect.โ
you let your eyes flutter closed as a mouthwatering mixture of pain and pleasure start to pool together in your lower abdomen. you donโt know when you start, but as he continues thrusting in and out of you, the deepness of his thrusts gradually increasing, you canโt stop moaning, gasping, chanting his name. it becomes a prayer to you.ย
soonyoung. soonyoung. soonyoung.
no, not a prayer. a wish coming trueโall 10 of the birthday wishes you spent on him coming true. you were finally loving soonyoung loudly.ย
โy/n,โ he pants, sweat dripping onto you. โoh my god.โ
โsoonyoung,โ you answer, moans sandwiching his name.ย
and just when you think his thrusts are as deep as they can goโpulling all the way out before slamming right back into youโhe pushes off of you, holding himself up with one arm and holding the headboard above the both of you for leverage. and somehow, he gets impossibly deeper, impossibly rougher, impossibly better, coaxing all kinds of screams and noises from you.ย
โoh my god, look at you,โ he mumbles, eyes darting between your chest, your lips, and the place where he keeps disappearing inside you. โsoโfuckingโperfect.โ his cock slams roughly into you with each word, easily aggravating all your pleasure points.
โโm not gonna last long,โ you breathe. โsoonieโฆ โm notโโ
you cut yourself off with your own cry when his hips start to drive into you at an unforgivable pace. tears leak from the corners of your eyes, leaving hot streaks as you try to remember how good this moment feelsโhow fucking good soonyoung feels. how perfectly soonyoung fills you up.
โiโm not either, baby,โ he says. he starts grinding his pelvis down on your clit roughly, making you grab his forearm in a weak attempt to ride out the overwhelming and overstimulating feeling of an orgasm building up inside you mercilessly.
he lowers himself again, closing the distance between you two and pressing his lips to yours. โi love you,โ he says. โi love you so fucking much.โ
โiโโ you gasp as his pelvis presses down on you ruthlessly. โi loveโoh my god, soonyoung,โ you groan.ย
โdo you feel like youโre mine yet?โ he asks, voice raspy, hips ramming into you so hard, thereโs no way you wonโt be bruised tomorrow.ย
you nod frantically. โyes, god, yes. yes!โ you shriek the last one as your orgasm approaches its summit. โyes!โ
โsay it,โ he grunts, eyes boring into yours.
โiโm yours,โ you pant. โsoonie,โ you whimper, eyes shutting on their own accord. โiโm yours, soonyoung.โ
โi never want to hear another name come out of your mouth ever again,โ he tells you, the statement followed by a string of colorful curses as his hips begin stuttering uncontrollably. you know heโs holding off as best he can for you. โyouโre mine.โ he moans loudly. โand iโm yours.โ
โm-mineโฆ soonyoungโฆโ you open your eyes to find him still watching you intently. โsoonyoung! iโm coming! iโmโโ you grasp him as hard as humanly possible, your third orgasm of the night ripping through you.
for a few moments, soonyoung continues to thrust into you, trying to help you through your orgasm, but he doesnโt last, quickly pulling out and coming all over you, cords of white coloring your stomach, chest, even your face. you gasp, bits of it landing in your mouth. you lick the corners of your lips as you come down from your high, smiling a little when you finally get to taste soonyoung.ย
โholy shitโฆโ he huffs, sitting back on his heels and throwing his head back. you try not to gawk at how beautiful he looks on his knees like this, his still semi-hard cock covered in your pleasure.ย
โcโmere.โ speaking suddenly feels like such a chore as you realize how sleepy you are.
soonyoung half obeys, leaning forward to kiss you quickly before getting out of bed and ignoring all your protests over it. he returns from his restroom with a towel, gently wiping you both clean, even leaving kisses as he goes. itโs like heโs making up for his seven years.ย
โhow do you feel?โ he asks when he slips back into bed, pulling the covers over the both of you.ย
โlike iโm in love,โ you say, eyes closing as you curl into his chest. he laughs as he wraps his arms around you. โit was perfect. thank you, soonie.โ
he kisses the top of your head. โiโm sorry about how weird iโve been acting these last few weeksโฆ and iโm sorry for thinking i could justโฆ end our friendship like that.โ
you open your eyes and crane your neck to look at him. โi wouldnโt have let you,โ you inform him. he grins. โand i didnโt.โ
โyou didnโt,โ he agrees. you hum. โi love you.โ
โwaitโฆ do you love me?!โ you ask jokingly after hearing it at least a dozen times tonight.
he rolls his eyes. โgood to know our dynamic is going to be fine.โ
you giggle. โi love you more.โ
โwhoa, fighting words.โ
โten years, soonyoung.โ
โit was ten years for me too!โ he protests.ย
you frown.ย
โi gave myself seven years before i forced myself to move on,โ he reminds you. โi loved you long before that, you fool.โ
you glare but your heart swells. you hug him even tighter. โsoโฆ what are we?โ
โare you fucking kidding me?โ
you laugh, burying your face in his bare chest. โyeah, i am. iโm joking.โ
he pinches your side. โgood. it wouldโve been awkward to have to inform you youโre my wife now.โ
you shriek-laugh and you know itโs infectious from the way he bursts into laughter at your reaction too. you spend the rest of the night like that, talking about the moments you knew you were in love, joking around, and planning your new decade and your new life, your birthday party long forgotten.
just before you both drift off to sleep, you exchange your last i-love-yous of the night.ย
โgood night, love of mine,โ he whispers.
โmine,โ you repeat, smiling. โyours.โ
you know your 30s are going to be the best years of your life.
a/n: well, shit has officially hit the fan. wanted to make things interesting because i'll be in chicago for a few days (stray kids woo), so this will likely be the only chapter this week. as always, enjoy! <3
๐ผ๐พ๐ถ๐ถ๐ช๐ป๐: what happens when your twitch numbers are down? you get a little desperate. after failed side hustle after failed side hustle, vernon needs a job that offers wages a little more consistent than what livestreaming underwhelming gameplays can provide. when all else fails, he stumbles across an urgent plea for a babysitter. he accepts the miracle of an opportunity, but soon discovers that he signed up for a lot more than what was advertised...
๐น๐ช๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ: vernon x gn! reader
๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ท๐ป๐ฎ: smau, fluff-adjacent?, comedy, little bit of angst (mostly miscommunication because it's vernon), mild crack fic i won't lie
๐๐ช๐ป๐ท๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ๐ผ: swearing, possible kys/kms jokes, sex jokes (they're all adults tf), children (ahri is a menace, it's a valid warning), mentions of drinking and weed consumption, slightly irresponsible parenting but it's okay guys i swear
๐ช/๐ท: first smau go! this is meant to be fun and i am very much not a parent, so forgive any strange writing decisions on that front lol. there's no set writing schedule because i am a working man with a life outside of tumblr, as hard as that is to believe, but if i can get multiple chapters out per week, that would be ideal. if this crashes and burns, i'm blaming it on the voices that told me to write it and so should you teehee.
๐ผ๐ฝ๐ช๐ฝ๐พ๐ผ: ongoing; started may 16th, 2025
general taglist is in my pinned post! very excited to have you guys along for this ride, and as always, enjoy! <3
yn: an editor just trying to get by. they're actually doing very well financially, but their kid is where the struggles come in. after the sudden and untimely death of their best friend sumin in a car accident, yn is saddled with ahri, sumin's four-year-old daughter. ahri is everything expected of a four-year-old, with the intuition and antics of someone at least twice her age. yn is still reeling from this semi surprise adoption, leading to some crashouts on their private.
jeonghan: clinical social worker specializing in adolescent care. his general devil-may-care nature earns him the trust of every kid that he's worked with. this man has seen it all when it comes to unstable families, even working with yn to get custody over ahri instead of her father. known to occasionally provide vague anecdotes about his clients online, because if there's anything that this man knows how to do, it's find loopholes in confidentiality laws.
joshua: owner and operator of maroon chai, the local cafe. the definition of using an interest to justify a passion project. quite possibly the most successful fanboy this town has ever seen. he's incredibly well-connected, his kind eyes and warm smile inviting his customers to spill their guts while they fill them. the gang doesn't know when he sleeps, as he's known to leave the lights on long after close to continue a particularly riveting conversation.
junhui: owner and operator of moonlit trove, the local thrift shop. is borderline taking the "small" out of small business, as the shop is booming, especially at night. everyone thinks he's a little bit strange, and some even believe that his eyes can pierce the veil between the living and dead, which only adds to the allure of his merchandise. yn's ex-boyfriend-turned-best friend, and a hopeless romantic to boot.
soonyoung: high school dance teacher with a competitive spirit that rivals a professional athlete and a work ethic that rivals a drill sergeant. nevertheless, his bond with his team runs deep and is the biggest hype man for his dancers. it's commonplace for him to disappear for weeks at a time in the spring. he's not dead, he's just in the cleanup and competition trenches.
jihoon: freelance worker from hell. no one knows what he does, and he delights in his friends' confusion and dedication to figuring him out. he's a closed book, it's wasted effort. jun is convinced that he has mob connections and the joke (read: VERY REASONABLE THEORY) has just kind of stuck. he has not and likely will not confirm nor deny the allegations.
seokmin: arborist on a mission. intensely dedicated to environmental consciousness. has free entry into every national park and is known to just zoom off to the other side of the country without much notice. "where's seok?" "oh he went to jeju for the weekend, something about a preservation conference?" "WHAT?!"
profiles 2: well-adjusted young men (and vernon ๐)
hansol: the most nonchalant twitch streamer ever. it's not working out too well for him. he's tried everything at this point, from dog walking to lawn mowing (don't ask him about the deck blade incident of 2023). he'll complain about how his friends are pressuring (bullying) him into getting a more stable job, but secretly no one desires freedom from the twitch trenches more than him.
seungcheol: retired baseball player. after tearing his ACL pretty severely at the ripe age of 28, he's been trying to fill the void ever since. makes steady money as an umpire for local teams (that he truly doesn't need, man made bank running the bases). will get astoundingly happy if you ask to play catch with him, he's a self-proclaimed boy dad after all.
wonwoo: owner and operator of second life animal shelter. wanted an excuse to take care of cats and become more of a dog person while benefiting his community. eventually wants to convert part of the property into an internet cafe with said revenue going towards funding adoption initiatives. streams with vernon sometimes and those streams perform the best (the people love his smile and witty commentary).
mingyu: veterinarian with a heart of gold. one of the two busiest members of the friend group but will drop everything to offer a hand to a buddy during his lunch break. cries more than the owner when a pet has to be put to sleep. frequently treats the animals at wonwoo's shelter like the good boyfriend he is (i made minwon real, whoops).
minghao: assistant art director and in-house critic at some inner city gallery that he doesn't want the boys to find. the epitome of separating his work and personal lives and "don't bother me during office hours." safe to say that he's nobody's "ICE" contact. oh, and he models; there's no possible way that he operates with the same 24 hour day as everyone else. when not working, he can be found in his penthouse meditating or getting lost in a book, always with some type of tea nearby.
seungkwan: ace attorney irl. would probably bleed black because of how much coffee he consumes. trying his absolute darnedest to make partner so he can have some say in the hiring decisions (the litigation team are slackers he swears). other busiest member but still finds the time to be vernon's #1 badger when it comes to seeking employment.
chan: slightly overzealous dj. sleeps through about half of normal waking hours so he can entertain the masses at midnight. his profession might be laughable but the income definitely isn't. vernon is eternally pissed that he makes so much money spinning turntables. genuinely the most humble and grounded emcee that you'll ever meet, even if he gets a little "๐" sometimes.
a/n: bit more of a serious chapter this time, and i know it's early on, but i needed vernon to crack to truly get the plot moving along. plus, we have the situation that forces yn out of their comfort zone into hiring a sitter, mwahahaha. ๐น as always, enjoy! <3
a/n: the gaps between chapters just keep widening... summer lethargy comes for us all, i'm afraid. i miiiiight include a written component for the next post but we'll see because i'm a nervous little guy when it comes to trying new things. as always, enjoy! <3
yn usually had enough sense to pick their battles. they certainly had enough sense to pick ones that didnโt involve blowing up in the face of someone far more qualified than them in the defense of someone who had made it quite clear that he didnโt care about the opinion of anyone, regardless of their qualifications. oh well. it had been a hard week, and due to some combination of anger at their boss, stress about ahriโs safety, and the frightening feeling that their just recently righted world was spinning wildly out of control once again, someone had to go down. and xu minghao just so happened to be in the right place at the right time. an overheard grievance about how jihoon was โovercompensating for a clear lack of basic technique with an overabundance of high notes added purely for shock valueโ had them shooting towards the critic like a nuke.
โand just what makes you so qualified to judge the work of others while you hide in the audience like a coward? do you have any experience doing what jihoon just did? say it to his face if itโs that important, you snooty little prick.โ
an eyebrow raise. โnot that itโs any of your concern, but i place my face and body in front of eyes that are far more critical than my own fairly regularly, thank you very much.โ
yn then made a potentially dangerous choice, placing their pointer finger inches away from minghaoโs nose. โthat doesnโt mean that you can just say whatever you want about the hard work of strangers.โ
minghao gently shifted ynโs arm away from his face. โrespectfully, i do this for a living. whatโs your excuse, stranger?โ a glance up and down. โwait a minute. youโre not a stranger. youโre the one whose kid hansol is watching.โ another eyebrow raise (seriously, could he stop doing that?). โhow might he feel, i wonder, about his employer making their child his responsibility just to stir up trouble with one of his friends in the name of a misguided sense of loyalty? youโre not exactly doing your friend any favors, as i doubt that he needs a guard dog. he seems like the fairly aloof type.โ
however idiotic the act would've been, yn was genuinely about to fight this random guy at the bar. and a quick glance at the man seated on minghaoโs other side (wonwoo?), who was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, told them that they had a minute before he would intervene, meaning that seokmin would then swoop in to keep them from bloodying their hands. โiโm sorry that i care about my friends enough to want to defend their honor against baseless and, quite frankly, pointless commentary on their passions.โ
a smirk. โand iโm sorry for poor woozi, who will now probably have to deal with the aftermath of your little episode.โ he took a sip of his drink (because of course the little shit would drink whiskey sours). โdid you know that he reached out to me to come tonight? i only ended up showing up because wonwoo was invited, but he seemed like he wanted to know my thoughts. too bad he left before i could tell him.โ a truly lethal side eye. โwho knows, maybe i would have caught him if someone hadnโt taken it upon themself to attempt to stop me from doing my job.โ
something must have flashed in ynโs eyes at that moment, because seokmin appeared then, placing a steadying hand on their shoulder. โi think weโll be heading out now.โ
wonwoo, who had also risen to his feet, nodded before speaking. โiโm sorry about minghao. he has a little bit of trouble turning off work mode, you know how it is.โ
seokmin lowered his head slightly in acknowledgment. โand iโm sorry for my friend. raising a kid doesnโt allow them to get out much and naturally that means theyโre not used to the effects of alcohol anymore. enjoy the rest of your night.โ
minghao leveled a slight glare in yn's direction as they gathered their things, then busied himself with his napkin, for whatever reason yn didnโt know or care. as they moved to stand, he slid the napkin their way. they glanced at it, and when they looked back up at him, he was smirking. again. yn picked up the napkin and there, in handwriting that was far too neat considering the stationary, was a phone number accompanied by four words: text me, wonโt you?
previous โญ masterlist โญ next
a/n: ah yes, the hao plotline commences. it's purely self-indulgent, but this way we get jealous vernon so... it's a win for the story, i swear. first time trying actual writing on this account so i hope it's okay. as always, enjoy! <3
a/n: i needed to break up the monotony of bomticc because the writer's block is vengeful as hell. thank you anon pookie for requesting, and as always, enjoy! <3
a/n: this chapter is dedicated to the person who commented under the last post saying how they needed the next one. you motivated me to get this out as soon as i did, so thank you. also sorry to the vernon biases for making him exhibit freak behavior (not really, cry about it lol). as always, enjoy! <3
