Bellatrix: My husband said I shouldn't come here anymore.
Voldemort: And yet here you are...on my lap.
Bellatrix: I'm such a bad wife.
Voldemort, smirking: No. You're a good Death Eater.
d e v o n

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Xuebing Du

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

izzy's playlists!

oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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almost home

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Origami Around
$LAYYYTER

#extradirty
Keni

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@incorrectbellamort
Bellatrix: My husband said I shouldn't come here anymore.
Voldemort: And yet here you are...on my lap.
Bellatrix: I'm such a bad wife.
Voldemort, smirking: No. You're a good Death Eater.
Voldemort: Your husband glared at me again.
Bellatrix: Ignore him, he's being sensitive.
Rodolphus: I found love poems under your pillow written in Parseltongue.
Bellatrix: Sensitive.
Bellatrix: Can you keep a secret?
Voldemort: Do you know anything about my life?
Bellatrix: No, I do not. Good point.
Voldemort: You know, not every problem can be solved with a knife.
Bellatrix: That's why I carry two!
omg where have you been?? 😭😭😭
I am back 😎
Bellatrix: So are we flirting right now?
Voldemort: I LITERALLY HAVE A CRUCIATUS ON YOU
Bellatrix: That doesn’t answer my question
Voldemort: I relate to Belle because she likes to read books.
Bellatrix: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention OR SHE DIES!
Voldemort: And they call me the dramatic one...
Voldemort: *goes to hug Bellatrix*
Bellatrix: *awkwardly hugs back* What is happening…?
Rodolphus: See? When I try that, she hits me!
Bellatrix: I do not!
Rodolphus: *goes to hug Bellatrix*
Bellatrix: *smacks Rodolphus* Don’t touch me.
Rodolphus: See?
Rodolphus: Did you two sleep together?
Bellatrix and Voldemort: No.
Rodolphus: Double negative, that’s a yes.
Voldemort: Why don't you take off all that battle armor and slip into something a little more... comfortable?
Bellatrix: I am most comfortable when I am impervious to most physical forms of attack.
Voldemort: Is Lucius sleeping or dead?
Bellatrix: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.
Barty: Yeah, so did I.
Lucius: Okay first of all, fuck you-
Voldemort: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Bellatrix: I’ve been asleep for the past two and a half hours.
Lucius: I got distracted about halfway through.
Snape: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
Bellatrix: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Rodolphus: What?
Voldemort: That you're a child.
Lucius: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
Voldemort: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Bellatrix: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Narcissa: In that case, we're definitely lost.
Voldemort: What did you do with Snape's body?
Bellatrix: What didn’t I do with the body?
Voldemort:
Bellatrix: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.
Voldemort: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Bellatrix: The cow???
Voldemort: What?
Lucius: Bella, W H Y?
Bellatrix: My lord, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Voldemort: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Bellatrix: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Rodolphus.