It was always miserable, waking up alone. But waking up alone, not only with a headache, but retching so hard down the toilet boil he thoughts his guts would come out, feeling weak and entirely gutted, was the most miserable Isak had been in a long while. He had ended up lying for hours on the bathroom floor, contemplating what the hell he was doing and how on earth he was supposed to turn this around. Because it was painfully clear that if he kept this up.. well he wouldn’t live for long. And that made him ponder if he was willing to sacrifice everything else, for something as pointless as drugs.
By the time he heard the door being unlocked and Max coming home, Isak had done some serious soul searching while sticking to water and PB and J sandwiches. Being fully sober for more than an hour for the first time in over a month was a challenge, but the clarity sobriety brought made the fight worth fighting.
“Can we talk?” he asked once his better half.. the love of his life, the only guy he wanted, walked into the kitchen. “I’m sober. I swear.” Considering that he should swear on something that really mattered, Isak took a deep breath. “I swear on your life. Cause if you don’t already know, I love you and you really are all that matters to me Max.”
There was a bliss that came with work. He knew the routine, he knew what typcially came next. He learned the few auditory cues that meant charlie was coming around the corner and to stay out of her way. Work was one of his favorite places anymore. It offered a sense of safety that other’s now lacked.
The past few weeks, Max was just...existing. He’d stay away from Isak when he was high, but always at just enough distance that if something happened he was there. But he had grown accustomed to leaving and the other not waking, and to doing a little bit more on his own. Coming home, always with a few snacks in hand in hopes that they’d do some good, was always met with anxiety. Part of him was always worried about what he was walking into .
There was movement in the apartment, which offered safety in itself. He’s awake and okay. Max moved throughout the apartment, changing before returning to the kitchen to snag a cup of coffee. Listening, there was a part of his brain that had to consciously bite back the snide remarks the other said. Max knew they weren’t helpful, and stemming from his own exhaustion.
Taking the coffee from the maker, Max turned, leaning against the counter as he sipped the hot drink. “I love you too. Always will.” He hummed. “What’s going on?”
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