Diary of the Damned

Maxwell • they/them • feeling way too much on a daily basis •

[maxwellisunwell]

I still have the t-shirt my first boyfriend gave me. Never worn, never washed. And pulling it from the back of my drawer, ten years later, it still smells like him. I win.

[maxwellisunwell]

I feel as though I've spent the day waiting just for the sun to set. It seems to me that madness and tears are so much more beautiful in darkness and in secrecy. I have to hold my virtues together while the sun shines down because her look is so glaring and disapproving. Isn't the moon so much calmer in her understanding? She'll stay present to the ripping, tearing, weeping and only brush the frayed edges with her cold silver fingertips. Solidity but no judgement. The sun could never hope to be so gentle.

[hwhwgwhnwnwbwbwg-deactivated202]

when hands touch

[poetic--elixir]

...and then, I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?

Vincent van Gogh

[lone-nyctophile]

So, if you're too tired to speak, sit next to me for I, too, am fluent in silence

- Ron Arnold

[maxwellisunwell]

As an emotionally suppressed girlie, the urge to melt into a sobbing mess in my roommates arms is a very strange desire to have

[maxwellisunwell]

You'd be surprised at the amount of cheese a little thing like me can ingest every day

[maxwellisunwell]

You go outside at 6am to listen to the birds sing good morning, while you sip your coffee and dream of the day to come.

I sit outside at 2am and listen to the frogs sing praises for the day passed, and the rain that came with it, while I sip my tea and dream of the next night to come.

What a glory for both beautiful things

[perfectfeelings]

With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.

Unknown (via perfectfeelings)

[poetic--elixir]

“I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.”

— Mary Oliver

[fairydrowning]

"Moon has different phases but it's always alluring, just as You are."

– Athena Abraham

[maxwellisunwell]

Today I loved myself by sitting in the south wind to watch the lightning as a thunderstorm rolled in, eating an orange and sharing it only a little with the earth under my feet.

[midsummerkissess]

[a-poets-darling]

I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath 1982

[maxwellisunwell]

"Walk me to the edge?"

I always agree with a nod and a smile.

Falling in stride together,

Me a little quicker

You a little slower,

We face our differences without discussion.

Every day you make me a little happier,

So every day I get a little sadder.

I don't know who is being walked

To the edge anymore.

[maxwellisunwell]

[maxwellisunwell]

He liked all the things I didn't: pot, country music, and me. I'll never forgive him for that. Not even in ten years when I've lost all the pictures and forgotten his face. I already forgot his voice. But I won't forget the dizzying rush through my ears and my stomach the last time I hugged him. If I'd known it was the last, I might have held on a little bit longer.