mayo

strawpage || cis😔 || 22 || Minors DNI!!

[may0nade]

Welcome travelers!

I'm Mayo/Hazel (she/her)

If you're here for my fanfiction, here's a link to my Masterlist of works

If you're here for Alex Hirsch's pitch to Disney Publishing for The Book of Bill, here's the link to that post.

This is account is also multifandom with VERY DRASTIC AND PROLONGED PERIODS OF HYPERFIXATIONS. So if you came here for something in specific, don't be surprised if shit changes sometimes.

Current obsession: Dispatch

I have a few ocs that'll be mentioned here and there: Sammy (she/her)- Alcoholic lesbian girlfailure. Mia (she/he/they/it)- Little mayonnaise girl persona (used to be my mascot) Gant (he/him)- My favorite dnd character I've ever made but have never gotten to use. Dragonborn artificer that makes shit just to sell it to people and scam them to go gambling. Audie (she/her)- The very OC that I’m using to write my fanfic. I’m using a lot of her lore for the fanfic, so if you come to this blog from TFYF, you know a lot about her.

My personal tag for rambles is #mayonaggs so if you ever want to hear about my insanity or creative process, have fun with that. I also have the tag #mayonadeart that I literally made just to probably only share like 3 pieces ever but its nice to have still.

Send me bunnies or fictional men/women from THE LIST.

[mokadevs]

eustace winner learns about pride flags

[sailor-crusader-deactivated2025]

It's not like I like you or anything! P-Pendejo!

[dragon-png]

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Tumblr’s Pasta Dinner

Noodles

Marinara

Salt (for water)

Red food dye

Cheese topping

Edible glitter

Side of chicken

Garlic bread on the side

Breadsticks on the side

Voting ended onMay 22

@theleagueoflegendsfan69 was a big part in the creation of this one

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

I told my grandma about this, she said it’s a bad idea, she also said when I went to college she thought I’d be normal stupid and not whatever this is

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

This is fine

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

I’ve been trying to calculate how many dry spaghetti noodles are in one teaspoon, my math says two, that sounds wrong but they’re also long so idk

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Me calculating everything based on the amount of edible glitter I currently have (1.5 teaspoons) and adding the dye and salt to the water before adding 4 spaghetti noodles

[damnd0zen]

I love love love your animations so much URGGGH. I think about them daily ever since Tiktok wasn't available for me. Would it be possible if you uploaded them here? If you don't mind.

sorry,, i really dont feel like posting it all here😔

can show here a new one tho

[sicknastyjr]

So true it's awesome to have a game that basically forces you to be creative to fully engage with it's been so much fun to see

[need-him-pregnant-poll]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT *SEASON TWO* ROUND 4 POLL 2

TUMBLR! Who's getting pregnant?

Dr. Gregory House (House, M.D.)

Bruce Wayne/Batman (DC)

Voting ended onJun 3

PROPAGANDA:

[House]

"Because Cuddy cannot get it would be funny if House did. Also he is just breedable."

"He’s a famous doctor. His medical wonder would be widely known, he’d be bitter but intrigued."

Dr. House propaganda from last season

[Bruce]

"He already has so many kids, its time to let him make some himself."

"He has so many kids already, he should birth one."

"He's already had so many kids come to him as pre-teens or teens, often with parents before him that he needs to "compete" with for his position as their parent, so it would be nice to have him not have that pressure for once. Also, whenever one of his partners turns out to be pregnant he tends to be very excited about it, and he's often shown to be very soft and kind to babies and small children, so it'd be nice to finally give him a baby of his own. And considering the fact that there's more than one storyline with one of Bruce's lovers being pregnant and leaving and then hiding/giving the baby away for adoption, him being the one who's pregnant would keep that from happening again. In conclusion, he's got kids, loves babies, is already a single parent, give the man a baby of his own!!"

"It's been a while since he adopted a kid, maybe his next one can be home grown."

"He's due another child. Pregnant Batman would probably have to take good care of his health."

"Just look at him. Plus, he'd be a wonderful mother."

"This guy is already a dad of like a million robins, so it's about time he made some himself."

"look at him. this man loves kids so much. he loves his kids so much, you know he wishes he could have birthed them himself. getting pregnant would fix him."

"I mean look at him. He has so many kids he was made to be a mother."

[may0nade]

who else is going to have Wilson's child?

[enteleqia]

Magic horse (thanks to Dagnerd for translating)

I think celestabellebethabelle is good reading people.

[ilonano]

teto this store fucking sucks

[moon-lord-big-naturals]

We got that fine classic literature on the island

[shadow-yato]

Man

[i-am-a-fish]

I've been trying to get my PS3 pregnant for the past few weeks and it's finally looking good!!!!!

I've been trying to preserve my old PlayStation 3 (it has been overheating and dying and exploded a little bit once) data by transferring it into a new ps3 that is less likely to overheat and die, I've been at this for a good while and I had to get a lot of parts and such to get everything working and I've been doing surgery on a grape for the past few days, but it's finally looking like it's all going to work!! I'm very excited

[darkaviarymc]

Um. Excuse me. There's a LOT to unpack here, but what do you mean your ps3 exploded a little bit?

[i-am-a-fish]

it made sparks!

[tacotacotacotime]

@need-him-pregnant-poll this is how transformer pregnancies work i think. now we just need to figure out birth...

[rocketbirdie]

behold. my suite of hot dogs

[rocketbirdie]

today's creations

[elitecabela]

[meep--tm]

my creations.