[jonesandbennett]

Why are colds like

One Nostril: I’m cool

Other Nostril: They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes, drums… drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow lurks in the dark. We can not get out… they are coming.

[cattorneyatlaw]

[husband]

you want want Murphy has.

[leggyboyjohnson]

the Maestro

[sashayed]

me: okay, that’s enough. i can’t live like this. i gotta change my life. i gotta make moves

the world: ok here is an Opportunity

me:

[humoristics]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[nasagal]

(not so) Breaking News: I’m sad again and everyone’s tired of hearing about it

[outofcontextachewood]

[hausmusik]

I think about this literally every time I get yelled at

[memescomedy]

[vladtheunfollower]

[08021993a]

[davidragifs]

[8-bitstories-deactivated2020062]

[annoyinger]

me, when I see a dog:

[fonzworthcutlass]

You ever be so comfortable in bed, you start rubbing your legs together like a cricket?

[lets-do-the-time-warp-again-dea]

tumblr dot com posts are getting so relatable im convinced the government has 24/7 surveillance on me and is feeding it to me through this website to see if i notice

[diequik]

[catchymemes]

Credit: UNILAD