Vampirism was weird for me.
In one hand, I saw it as this amazing, beautiful gift that only "special" people received. I looked up to my parents a lot, and wanted to be like them. I wanted to be special, so I asked my mother to turn me.
And then I held onto that gift until I found someone I thought was "special enough", like me and my family were. I wasn't just going to turn anyone.
But I also very much believed that it was going to damn me. Even though Owen was the only person I ever killed, I thought it took your soul. I thought I was going to damn him. I thought I was stealing his soul.
I turned him to cure him of his illness. But I was also being selfish. I saw him as special, and I believed he deserved eternity, like myself. But I was also... just so tired of being lonely. I wanted to finally have someone. Your family can only do so much for you, and then they were killed. I spent a long time by myself, I couldn't stand it anymore.
Am I bad for that? I'm not sure...