If they Can't Walk, They Can't Betray You @mazikeenofmurders - Tumblr Blog

#the devil and his favorite demon definitely don’t overreact

mcrninqstar:

Starter: @mazikeenofmurders

Everything about the last few days made him want to rip out his hair. he couldn’t believe that any of this was happening. for a moment, he thought god might have returned and given him another curse but thankfully it just turned out to be pestilence. once mazikeen was better, lucifer wanted to see pest, but not speak to him. no, the only things he wanted out of pestilence were his screams. thankfully, they’d gotten ahead of this disease and a cure was located before maze reached the unthinkable point. lucifer was now seated by her bedside with head resting on her hand as he waited for the cure to do what it was designed to do. maze was still unconscious, but she was thankfully improving. “we need a vacation after this,” he sighed to himself as he kissed the tips of maze’s fingers. “maybe we ought to go to another universe like cuphegor. some place far, far away.”

After getting sick, everything felt like a blur for Maze. She remembered the beginning, collapsing in on of the halls of their castle, getting moved to the Empty. She’d felt like she was burning and freezing simultaneously. At some point, her ears started bleeding. It wasn’t part of the disease apparently, just an incidental effect of her immune system being out of whack, causing an ear infection. After that, she didn’t remember much. The blood in her ears had to be cleaned out regularly, and she couldn’t hear most things around her unless they were right by her head. She spent most of the time unconscious, but she remembered feeling like was burning from the inside out. The pain was easing little by little since then, and she was starting to wake up once more. She hadn’t opened her eyes, but she could hear Lucifer’s voice again. Her fingers twitched as he kissed them, rubbing the bottom of his chin. Her voice was tired, low, and quiet as if she’d forgotten how to speak. “You’re just looking to fuck two of me like I got to do, aren’t you?”

#mcrninqstar: we need a vacation

mcrninqstar:

“Oh, believe me, i tried that argument. i even called sam to argue it for me some more. asmo wasn’t accepting it despite the precedent set by the santa clause movies.” it had been a solid argument in lucifer’s opinion, but asmo clearly wanted to see him cosplaying an elf. “i think the only person that could talk him out of this is lailah, but it feels wrong to ask that of her.” if this was how it was going to be, lucifer planned to go into it full throttle with his head held high. it was, of course, always more fun to take things full throttle with maze at his side. he beamed when she remarked that she was making alterations to the costume. he was very much looking forward to seeing that. “i know it’ll certainly distract me,” he grinned and leaned down to kiss her before beginning the process of stripping off his three-piece suit. he did so with the flare of a strip-o-gram. giving maze a good show was the least he could do after dragging her into all of this.

Maze scoffed. Asmo was clearly on his high horse ignoring the Santa Clause rules. “No,” she sighed. “I doubt she’d even know what we’re talking about.” They could always show the movie to her of course, but at this point, it didn’t seem like Lucifer was going to be getting out of the bet he’d made and neither was she. It didn’t feel as bad as he leaned down to kiss her. “Will you do this while we’re there too. Maybe at the end?” She placed her hand on his hip as he stripped, pulling herself closer to him. She let her hands slide down his thighs as she got down on her knees in front of him. “So have you been naughty or nice?” she smirked up at him.

#mcrninqstar: sexy elves #we can probably end that there XD

ofdeathstouch:

“I’d find a way to see you,” she promised. “I’d get some pointers from Cuphegor if I had to.” They were the pros at sneaking out to see each other, but thankfully Charlie didn’t have to resort to that. Tensions between Heaven and Hell had already started to melt by the time she’d been turned into a reaper and at this point they were non-existent. “Maybe I’ll get him a nice Father’s Day gift or something, but I’ll give it to him on April 1st to soften the blow.” Lucifer would appreciate the joke more if he could play it off as one. “You think so?” She smiled and glanced about herself. It was a compliment to hear Maze say she didn’t look worse for wear after that journey. “Without any more believers giving him power, the guy was pretty weak. My scythe destroyed the bridge, and I got thrown out of there after that. I couldn’t find it again to confirm what happened, but I think he’s gone.” She wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Whatever religion that being belonged to was long dead. There was no one left to tell its stories and she’d just killed the last remaining sign of it ever existing. If she thought too much about it, the existential dread kicked in. She giggled as Maze rolled her eyes. “Okay, but what if we do the t-shirts as party favors instead?” she suggested. She saluted Maze when the demon remarked that the resume should be on her desk by morning. “I just need to update it to include my unexpected promotion but it’ll be there.”

“It might’ve been more fun that way too.” Maze grinned. It was always more fun to do things that were seen as forbidden. Heaven tended to care about those things more than Hell did, and if Hell cared, it was only for the safety of the people they cared about. “I’m sure he’d love that,” she laughed. “Maybe a best dad mug.” Even though he wasn’t really a father, she was sure Lucifer would be a better one than his own father, not that that was hard to do. He basically already parented Cuphegor after the fall. Maze nodded. “It’s probably for the better that it happened that way. It’s not like that guy was ever going to come back into power.” There was no reason to really worry over some guy neither of them really knew. “You know what, maybe. I’d like to see Michael having to wear a shirt like that,” she joked. “Good, I’ll look it over as soon as I can.”

#ofdeathstouch: my best friend death

elitzevkler-deactivated20230121

papermoonknight

Lucifer (2000) Cover

#comics

papermoonknight

Lucifer (2016) Cover

#comics #i think lucifer upset seir

too-music

Asdfghjkl he can never stop picking on Gabriel

#comics

mcrninqstar:

He let out a long sigh when she asked him what he bet on this time. somehow that was more embarrassing than the terms of the bet. “so, last week there was a murder here at this very mall. someone killed the last mall santa. i bet asmo that i could figure out who killed santa claus first. i thought i had it in the bag but i was looking into the wrong elf. it turns out the new santa killed the old santa so he could take his job!” he explained as if it was a juicy piece of gossip and not a murder. “asmo figured it out first so he gets to present the evidence to the police and as the losing party, i have to make sure the guy doesn’t get wind of what’s about to happen and try to make a run for it. but because the bet was with asmo, we can’t just watch from a distance.” he jingled the costumes to indicate that they had to go undercover. “i figured two elves are better than one and you can make anything look sexy. and when we’re done with this they’ll probably close off the area to customers and we can go for a sleigh ride,” he smirked.

“A mall Santa murder?” She rose a brow. That was a new one, though at the same time the story sounded familiar to her. “Isn’t that just the plot of The Santa Clause? So the guy’s innocent then. He kills Santa, and he becomes Santa. That’s just the rules.” That probably wouldn’t hold up in a court of law, but maybe they could’ve convinced Sam into arguing on their behalf that because what the murderer did was in the rules of the Santa Clause, Lucifer shouldn’t have had to fulfill the bet. Knowing Asmo though, even the devil’s advocate couldn’t get Lucifer out of this. “Well, you’re not wrong,” she agreed when he said she could make anything sexy. If she could still attract people while wearing boxy scrubs, she’d be just as flattering as an elf, probably more so, and she liked the idea of that sleigh ride. “Fine, but I’m making alterations to it,” she said as she took the costume from him. “It might distract Santa a little more that way.”

#mcrninqstar: sexy elves

ofdeathstouch:

She glanced down at her hands as she spoke. “They tell me that I’m the equivalent of an angel now. I thought only God and angels mating with other angels could make those, but apparently this is a loophole. If I didn’t think it would traumatize him, I’d call Lucifer dad,” she joked. He made her like this, but the ironic thing was that her position was centralized in Heaven. “Interesting is one word for some of the places I’ve been to,” she grimaced. “I ended up in a realm for an extinct religion earlier. The only thing in there was a crumbling bridge and a hungry god trying to throw me off of it. We’re working on ways to keep me grounded, but I think the Veil is trying to show me everything and it won’t stop until I’ve seen it all.” There was one realm in particular she was not looking forward to visiting, but she knew it was inevitable. She checked under the sink as instructed and grinned when she saw the bottle of wine. “Ah, my favorite!” She uncorked it and poured a glass for Maze and herself. She was a fury of giggles now that Maze had gotten to see her t-shirt. It was nice to pull one over on the demon for a change. “And you know what, he should!” She slid the glass of wine over to her friend. “At the next party, everyone should get a Maziqueen shirt. In fact, I don’t think we should stop at t-shirts. I got big plans.” And she was going to share them all with Lucifer. She snorted at the joke. She needed a good laugh. “You’d find me very qualified for that role,” she insisted. “I’ll forward you my resume.”

“At least heaven and hell are on slightly better terms now. I’d hate to lose my best friend to a bunch of stick in the muds.” Not all the angels were bad of course. A lot of the demons were really just fallen angels or children of fallen angels. Even some of the non-fallen angels were okay, but really that wouldn’t have stopped her from hanging out with Charlie, no matter who or what she became. That was her girl, and no one could take her away. They’d die trying. “If you do call him dad, I’d love to be there to see his face.” She wouldn’t suggest subjecting him to that knowing his daddy issues, but she imagined she’d need to be there if it happened. “That sounds like a nice sight, but you look like you didn’t come out worse for wear.” She didn’t know how hard things would get for Charlie though. She wasn’t as aware of all the afterlives after all, and she wasn’t the best at being supportive. Maze took a sip of the wine as she let Charlie get through her fit of giggles. She couldn’t help smiling a little even as she rolled her eyes. “No, he should not. I’m going to riot if you manage to make that happen.” Knowing Lucifer, he’d make sure to carry it out, so she really hoped Charlie wouldn’t tell him. “It better be on my desk first thing in the morning,” she joked.

#ofdeathstouch: my best friend death

adha-fera

lesley-ann brandt ;; 640x400. don't forget credits if you use it.

#fc

mcrninqstar:

LUCIFER & MAZIKEEN ( @mazikeenofmurders )

“Ah, maze, there you are!” he excitedly greeted her with a kiss. she was probably not going to like what he had to tell her but that was why he had two boozy hot chocolates in hand. he handed her one before delivering the bad news. “so, i lost a bet with asmodeus which as we all know is very unfortunate.” unlike valefar who played for money, asmo played for pranks. “the agreement was that the losing party would pretend to be elves at mall santa’s workshop.” he held up two horrendous looking elf costumes that he’d just purchased from the party city across the street. “i know it doesn’t do much for the elf esteem, but will you be my snowflake?” he flashed the name on the back of one of the costumes which, indeed, read snowflake.

Maze knew that voice. That was Lucifer’s sucking up voice while preparing to deliver a hard blow, not to be confused with his sucking voice while giving a hard blow. She kissed him but prepared herself for whatever the latest nonsense would be. “What did you even bet on this time?” she asked. It was always a bad idea to bet with Asmodeus. The man had no shame, and even if you won, there weren’t many ways you could prank him where he’d be embarrassed. “How am I a part of the losing party here. I didn’t make the bet.” At least she didn’t think she did. She didn’t really keep track of every bet she made. Maybe this was one they both bet on. She frowned at the costume. “It’s not even sexy.”