ofsamwinchester:
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He nodded as she explained that she wanted to make Azrael proud. Azrael had done a lot for her. She saved her life by making her a reaper, and she’d been kind enough to not be too hard on Charlie when she’d made the decision to save Sam’s life too. Even after death, Azrael had provided Charlie with a means to live after what Will had done to her. It wasn’t hard to understand why Charlie wanted to make her proud, and he couldn’t tell her she was wrong for thinking that way. “I’m sure you do make her proud. It’s not like you’ve just been a reaper your whole life. You’ve put in a lot of work and helped a lot of people. You’ve worked harder to keep the balance than anyone else. There’s no way she isn’t proud of you.” There was a reason that Lucifer trusted Charlie with becoming Death, and it wasn’t just because he personally favored her. They all knew Azrael trusted her too.
“Just because others saw what you didn’t, doesn’t mean you were wrong for it. I mean, you’re talking to someone who’s got a family of people making the wrong kinds of relationships. Sometimes, it’s just hard to see someone for what they are until they show us their true colors. They know exactly how to hide away those awful parts of themselves from us until it’s too late. It doesn’t mean we’re any less than for not seeing it.” He smiled softly when she said she wished she’d met him back then. “That would’ve been nice. It would’ve saved me some heartbreak too, but I think we worked things out just fine. We still got here either way, and we’re able to help more people this way.” He was happy with what they had, even if he’d had to suffer to get here.
It was hard to imagine not being able to touch. In theory, it sounded like something that wouldn’t be that hard, but it was something that was more part of his life than he realized. He was having a hard enough time not giving Charlie reassuring touches, but he would’ve accidentally touched more people if it applied to everyone. “Maybe they’ll have some magical equipment too.” Maybe Zatanna could make them something too. He touched the skeleton hand skeptically. “I don’t know. We can always try it out. See if it helps any.” He took the hand and put it on her shoulder, rubbing it like he would when he was trying to reassure her. It didn’t really have the same feeling, but it did make him erupt into laughter. “Yeah, nothing more reassuring than a skeleton hand.”
He wasn’t entirely sure about that. Sometimes, it felt like living was the problem, but he also knew that dying wasn’t the answer. There just wasn’t any kind of sanctuary from the problems in the world. The closest he had to it was Charlie, and it felt like the world wasn’t even letting him have that right now. “I mean, there were a few strings attached,” he countered jokingly, wiggling the skeleton hand around. Not being able to touch her wasn’t great, but it wasn’t as bad as losing her would’ve been. He personally would’ve taken any consequence if it saved her life, but he was grateful for Lucifer not asking anything of him in return. He looked at her hand on the counter, so close to his but infinitely far away. He put the skeleton hand on top of it. “Maybe I can do some research on things we can do instead of touching. There’s gotta be some couples who don’t like being touched at all. Maybe they have other ways, and I can try to help you figure out this being Death stuff. Most of the other reapers know me too. We can make a plan of how you want to handle this stuff, so you don’t feel like you’re running in blind.” It’d help give him something to focus on too, and they could still have the feeling of being close if they were working on this together.
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She smiled at Sam’s warm compliments. He always knew how to make her feel better when she was feeling subpar. That was the difference between him and William. William would’ve taken every opportunity to tell her she’s not good enough for this position. He would’ve wanted the power for himself. Sam was just glad that she was alive. “Thank you. I needed to hear that. I think I’m just struggling because I know there’s reapers out there that are older than me and they could probably do a better job at this. Az left some big shoes to fill and absolutely no manual. Her job is so specialized that even Michael only knows bits and pieces of how it all works.” It was a little overwhelming to go to sleep one day as a reaper and wake up the next day as Death. She sniffled a little when he told her she wasn’t any less of a person simply because William had been able to mask around her. “He did a really good job hiding it. I felt naïve for the longest time after my death. I thought I was over feeling like that, but I think seeing him again just resurfaced it. I know I’ve gotten better at seeing manipulation for what it is. I’m not that same person anymore. He just makes me feel like I am.” He was gone now at least and she hoped the feelings he surfaced in her would be gone too with time.
She smiled when he agreed that it would’ve been nice to have met back then. “There’s got to be at least one universe where it’s happened, but you’re right. I wouldn’t want to trade our friends for that. They need your big brain,” she giggled. Sure, most of their friends were immortal, but odds were they wouldn’t have met the archangels like they did in this universe if they’d just lived a quiet and quaint Victorian life. Her smile stayed when he remarked that it was possible Val had some magical equipment that would allow them to touch. “I think this is as magical as they’ve managed to get,” she replied as Sam took the skeleton hand from her. Both of them lost it once he tried to use it to rub her shoulders. It took Charlie a minute to recover from the fits of laughter. “I guess it kind of works. I do feel a little better now,” she agreed.
“We’ll figure out how to break through these strings. We got you, wise guy,” she smiled. She was hovering dangerously close to his lips right now. She just wanted to kiss him, but she knew she couldn’t. She held the skeleton hand delicately as he placed it over her hand. If she couldn’t hold him this would have to be good enough. “If your research takes you to Asmo, you’re going to get some interesting answers to that.” And probably some toys. Horny Santa Claus was the best way Charlie could think to describe Asmo. “But if we can’t touch, there’s four other love languages out there at least.” Quality time was among one of her favorites. She nodded when he said that they could make a game plan for how to handle this stuff. “Most of the reapers are carrying on with their usual caseload right now. Me bouncing back and forth into different afterlives is causing some power fluctuations in the veil but I don’t think that’s going to stop until I’ve been to every realm.” Unfortunately there was no solid number for how many realms were left because her abilities took her to the realms of religions that no longer had any followers. “Historically, when there’s that kind of fluctuation in the Veil, psychic energy increases. There’s a chance you and Dean might run into some mediums that are following the energy here,” she warned.
















