MBA Bound and Down

Sarcastic sense of humor; handsome good looks; charm that transcends all life forms; and some big ass balls: the only things helping a budding entrepreneur through his journey at a top ranked MBA program. These are the fucking awesome chronicles of me. E-mail me at: mbaboundanddown AT gmail DOT com new TWTR.Widget({ version: 2, type: 'profile', rpp: 2, interval: 6000, width: 'auto', height: 300, theme: { shell: { background: '#333333', color: '#fcfcfc' }, tweets: { background: '#000000', color: '#ffffff', links: '#4aed05' } }, features: { scrollbar: false, loop: false, live: false, hashtags: true, timestamp: true, avatars: false, behavior: 'all' } }).render().setUser('mbaboundanddown').start();

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What I think when some classmates speak

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Every time I make a comment in class

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Beer Pong

MBA's love beer.

MBA's love beer pong.

Now MBA's can love beer pong ANYWHERE.

What was once a class project (seriously) has turned into a mega-empire (I am using this term very loosely). 

I now present you: http://beerponganywhere.com/

TL;DR - the beer pong table fucking floats, and you don't have to blow it up like that other one.

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Round of Applause

The other day I took a test. Normal right?

However, as I was leaving said test something weird happened; something that will probably never ever happen again: everyone started clapping for me (well, most people I think - I'm not sure, I was walking out the door).

It was a one hour test. I finished in 14-15 minutes. Not because I knew all the answers, although that's happened before, but because I left half the test blank. 

Now normally I would draw on said blank test, but this professor explicitly told us not to bullshit him, because he "hates bullshit." 

Word.

I can respect that.

To sum up:

I looked over the test

Twice

Answered what I could

Got up

Turned it in

Professor, with a look of incredulousness, "You're done?!"

I replied, "You told me not to bullshit."

Walked out

Everyone started clapping

Now that's a good test.

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love this song:

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Statistics and the Economy of the U.K.

Oh man - 

If there's one core MBA class that's saved me time and time again, it's Statistics. That thing shows up everywhere. 

SO PAY ATTENTION.

The other day my professor called me into his office and gave me a mini-lecture about how I shouldn't use the word "shit" in papers I turned in. He's about a year and a half too late. For some context, I was explaining why the Philips Curve doesn't work when "shit hits the fan" - see U.K. economy circa early 90's. Best part about this? My giant, shot-putting, asshole friend Spill was standing outside the office laughing at me.

Jerk. 

EDIT: Also, I've been told I can be slightly negative sometimes. Moving forward I will balance my negative creativity with positive creativity - or something like that.

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Why You Should Blog While Getting Your MBA

WYSBWGYM for short - cause we all love acronyms. My favorite is WACC by the way.

Sorry for the many moons of non-writing. I've been putting in work on my own startup. Life happens.

Here's some unsolicited advice for all you continuing and contemplating MBA'ers out there. 

Start a blog and share it with people.

Why?

Well, for one you actually practice your writing skills sans buzz words. Just because you can throw out words you don't understand - like synergy, risk mitigation, and value proposition - doesn't mean you actually know how to write. In fact, I sometimes wonder how some people graduated high school. Also, if you do suck at writing, people will tell you that you suck, and when you get asked "what is your biggest weakness" you can say "I used to suck at writing/blogging, but now I am awesome at it. I went from 10 unique visitors a month to a brazilian by being the first to leak the Hulk Hogan sex tape." If you told me that, I'd hire you.

More importantly, you can make obscure references to things that you like and quickly single out which of your classmates has the same interest. For example, if I talk about the time Snarl and Swoop were created to combat the original DinoBots, I'm pretty sure I can figure out who really appreciates the original Transformers - because I can't stand the chupacabra shit that Michael Bay puts out. For a more wordly example, do you remember when Urkel helped Stephanie adjust to her new glasses? Yeah, me neither...

MOST IMPORTANTLY: 

Other students from other schools may happen to find your blog. And from this, you end up going to Vegas (during March Madness nonetheless) at the same time as them, which means your Vegas trip is now a drunken networking trip. A boondoggle if you may (why don't they teach that word in school?). Everyone loves boondoggles. There is no hyperbole in the world that I can use to explain to you how awesome this is (unless that in itself was hyperbolic enough).  

Completely unrelated sidenote: I have to write about leadership for a class of mine.. and well... here's my paper proposal:

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one more semester...

of wanting to drop out

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I hate the Holidays

tis all

Note: if you've never read about the invention of Santa Claus - it's actually pretty interesting

Keeping it negative since 1983.

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Limit Break

It's the end of year. Almost. Finally. Something like that. And while some of you will soon be starting to think or already have started thinking of your resolutions, I believe I have come up with mine. 

2012 is the year of no limits (make em say uhhhh - nahnah nahnah]. 

So what's that mean?

It means that...

When I am tired, I can be more tired. When I am burnt out, I can be more burnt out. When I need to not dick around on the internet... I will find the discipline to not dick around on the internet. 

It means that I  will finally start trying; that I will acknowledge and embrace my own power, and in doing so maybe... just maybe, I can over achieve for once in my life.

I owe that much to myself. 

[Don't worry I'll still say funny and mean shit]

Let's see what happens.

I stretched my arms towards the sky like blades of tall grass The sun beat between my shoulders like carnival drums I sat still in the hopes that it would help my wings grow

So then I could really be fly... 

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Dog Shit Theory

As a dog owner, and person who walks on the sidewalk, it annoys me to no end when I see other dog owners not pick up after their dog.  It's not that fucking hard; flaccid even. Put a bag on your hand, bend over, and pick that shit up. Literally. 

The more frustrating part about this is I'm sure if you ask the inconsiderate person why they didn't pick up after their dog they'll give you stupid excuse after stupid excuse.

You own a dog.  If you can't do the simple act of picking up dog shit, don't fucking own one. Simple.

This same theory applies to life/business. If you can't handle the work, don't fucking sign up. Simple. 

I can't wait til someone asks me to write a book to further elaborate on this theory. It will be fucking great. I think I'll name it Cross the Dog Shit Filled Chasm to Find Innovative Solutions for your Epiphany: Bad to Ok.

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Fuck Your Survey

I don't know if your school is like this, but for whatever reason, people in my MBA program think the best way to get user data is to e-mail blast a survey.  

Stop.  Seriously.

It's fucking lazy.  Go talk to people.  You think you're going to just spam people in real life?  Fucking doubt it.  What's funny is you people know that survey data is inaccurate.  Yet, you keep sending that shit out anyways.  If you're going to send a survey, at least send it to targetted people.  Fucking shit.

Just to be clear -

if you create a survey and just post it on your Facebook/twitter - that's fine.  I can dig it.  You're not harassing me.  

if you e-mail it to me individually and explain why my opinion is needed, that's fine too

if you approach me in person and have a conversation/interview with me because I fit the demographic; again, that's fine - and good research to boot.

But if I get spammed another survey, I swear on Optimus Prime that I will skew your data in the face so hard that any hope of that survey being useful will be nil (if I'm bored of course).

To sum up:

spamming surveys is not effective market research

it's fucking lazy

it's fucking annoying

And don't worry.  I won't ever spam one to you.

Word.

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LIBOR James

More indications that I am a 'bad' busines student:

every time I see the word LIBOR I read it as LeBron James.  

also, I can't make you a DCF to save my life.

[vtiny-deactivated20180310]

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random drawings i did

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DITC

I wrote this a long while back and for whatever reason re-read it just now.  Just thought I'd share:

http://www.coolerthanyourmomsince1983.com/2008/11/youre-never-too-old-to-make-believe.html

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Porpoise and You

I have been itching for a new tattoo.  Half-arm sleeve.  That's where it's at.  Or maybe my left ribs.  Argh.  Sidenote:  if anyone ever tells you that getting tatted doesn't hurt they're lying.  

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I had a come to hey-seuss moment the other day; some of the outside projects I've been working on weren't really aligned with what I was trying to do with my life.

So I quit them.  

And that's my advice to everyone today.  Really take a good look at what you're trying to do, not your passion, but what you actually want to accomplish in the next year or two, and see what fits.  

Stop fucking around with the shit that detracts. 

Once you do that you'll feel a bit lighter.  Emotional/mental baggage weighs you down, and while we're all prideful people, there's no shame in being honest with yourself and 'quitting' the things that get in the way.

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I really want to tell you all a story ... but due to some confidentiality issues I cant ... so um... I'll just say this:

If you're going to cop an attitude with me, make sure you know your shit cause you're just embarrassing yourself.  

We are all in the same place, and I can give two shits about what you've done.  It's about where you're going.  And really - you aint that smart yo.

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and i aint gonna wait for nothing, cause that just aint my style 

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Bring em out, bring em out

It was national Coming Out Day (CoD) the other day, and while I am not part of the no-voweled, acronymed (I know, not a word) community - better known as GLBT (which I always want to spell GBLT, cause I like sandwiches) - I thought it was a momentous/beautiful occasion.    

In the past I may have overlooked that day as just being another day, but what made this past day resonate with me wasn't so much the reason for the day, but more the efforts of one of my classmates.

I'll leave him nick-nameless, but yes, he's gay.  That's not how I think of him though.  In my mind, he's the guy with the giant soda cup that always has food to share; he's the guy who buys you good beer (none of this light shit); he's the guy that goes out of his way to help you; he's the guy that is my friend.  

Long story short, this gentleman, through some good marketing, made CoD very real to the rest of me and my classmates.  In fact, through his share a personal secret about yourself campaign, I'd go so far as to say that he made some of my classmates more real to me.  

Some supported him, some didn't, I'm not here to judge - but here's my takeaway: here's a guy, whether you like him or not, put his pride/reputation on the line and very humbly asked people to help him.  He didn't know how people felt about the GLBT sandwich community; he didn't know what kind of reaction he'd get; hell, he probably didn't know how some of my classmates felt about him.  

What he did was scary.  And I respect that.  A lot.

So while I normally hate school, for one day I am genuinely glad to be here.  To see the support that he got - that makes me happy, and grateful that I have semi-great classmates.  

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i don't think they know it yet, but i do, i do and if you're fucking with it, then you're my dude, my dude we always down, to dap or give a pound to those who got their thumbs in the air