be nice

ray // 24 // my writing

[mbarzals]

My Writing

Below you can find all my pieces I’ve written. I’ll keep it updated as more are posted! (* indicates smut)

Mat Barzal

(*)Video Call

Casual Love: Part 1, *Part 2, Part 3, *Part 4, Part 5, *Part 6

*baby, baby

*Talk

Matthew Tkachuk

Stuck With U

Falling From Grace: Part 1, *Part 2, *Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, *Part 6

Lover of Mine: Part 1

cooler

Vince Dunn

*Practice Makes Perfect

*Fast Learner

*Back to You

*About Last Night

[mbarzals]

matthew really said i’m not letting brady have all the fun

[mbarzals]

Talk - M. Barzal

a/n: hi everyone i'm temporarily back! i'm a barzy whore first and a women second. a little backstory that no one asked for - i've been working on this since november of 2023 and i always knew i wanted to post it somewhere. it was orignally going to be about m tkachuk but sadly things changed and barz always has me running back to him. p.s. (i know infidelity is never okay and i do not condone it. that being said this is a work of fiction and fiction is supposed to be escapism. i will have justifications for it in the end, although cheating should never be justified. again - this is just fanfiction and i am just a girl. sue me).

summary: you're in a happy relationship but cant help crawling back to mat each time you're around him

warnings: infidelity, smut, swearing

word count: 7k

Part 1

You stepped out into the unusually cold air, breathing deeply, filling your lungs with the crisp smells of the night, and trying to calm your racing heart. You took your lip between your teeth and settled down against the steps leading into the yard. A curse flew out of your mouth, and you leaned back into your palms, looking up into the oak tree. Moonlight was glistening off the green leaves that were slowly fading into amber. 

He wasn't going to make it. Again.

You shouldn't have been surprised, but you couldn't help the disappointment that was settling into your chest like a rock sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Slow at first and then quickly plummeting. You decided one last call wouldn't hurt, figuring he'd just ignore it again. 

When he picked up on the last ring, you sucked in a quick breath, not at all expecting him to answer. Not prepared.

"Eric." You started, taking a deep breath to compose yourself,  a warning in your tone, "Where the hell are you?"

"Listen. I know I fucked up, I know." His excuse was expected, and you allowed him to continue. "But I'm finishing up this huge project and I really need to get it submitted tonight. There's no way around it." 

This was always the justification for his absences and you don't know why you kept accepting it. 

"It's Thanksgiving." You paused, willing yourself not to overreact. "You promised." 

"Y/n," he sighed, like he was the one in distress. "I know I did, and I feel awful about it.  But I'm doing this for you. I'll see you tonight at home?"

You scoffed, biting back the bitter laugh on your tongue. That was a load of shit, but you really didn't feel like arguing again. "Right. See you tonight." And without letting him say goodbye, you hung up.

An exasperated noise made its way out of your mouth and you ran both of your hands through your hair, hoping to calm the anger rolling through you before clenching your fists, nails biting into your palm. 

You were fuming, and suddenly, you were glad about the dramatic drop in temperature that came with the dreary rain that had been falling all day. Your neck felt hot, and as you reached to slide out of your leather blazer, you heard a loud, condescending whistle from behind you. 

You recognized it for who it was, trying not to acknowledge him as you felt his warmth lean up against your side, taking a seat entirely too close for your liking. You tried your best at ignoring him, not looking his way, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Although finding you sitting out here alone was probably satisfying enough.

"Don't patronize me, Mat."

He laughed in response. 

"And fuck right off with that cocky tone." You glanced his way. "You're an hour late. And stop looking at me like that." 

"I didn't even say anything!" He gave you a grin. "But," He looked around, hand at his brow as if searching. "I don't see a certain blonde here. Did I miss him when I walked in?"  

You turned towards him, eyes darting down to his lip that he had captive between his teeth. His focus was already on you, eyes scanning your face as if looking for something he couldn't find.

This time the feeling sinking into your stomach wasn't disappointment.

"The look on your face speaks for itself." You muttered softly, not even dignifying his second comment with a response and not bothering to put space between you, knowing he'd just close it right back up again. 

And certainly not in the mood to go back and forth with him about Eric tonight. 

But Mat just took it in stride, ignoring your response. "So, what? No Ricky boy tonight?"

"Eric is finishing up a project at work. Not everyone can have all play, no work." 

Your jab slid right off him, in one ear and out the other. And you weren't exactly sure why you were even defending him, given that this was the third consecutive time he'd canceled on plans to meet your family. 

Mat leveled you with a look that told you he didn't buy it. He quirked an eyebrow and stood up, giving you some distance. "So what lover boy's excuse this time? Got numbers to crunch? Merger's to negotiate? Clients to swoon?" His voice dips low as he whispers, "Cause he certainly isn't here taking advantage of looking at you in that short little dress."

"I wouldn't push me tonight, Barzal." You warned, adamant that you wouldn't cross that line with him tonight. Not when you were trying so hard to make it work with Eric. Despite his flaws, it was hard to find better these days. He helped a lot financially as well.  You didn't love admitting it to yourself, and you'd be damned if you admitted it to Mat, knowing he'd just pity offer you some loan. So you settled with little white lies and an avoidance of the topic when around him.

He gave you a look that you immediately calculated to have a deeper meaning. So many questions in his eyes and too many that would expose the carefully-thought-out rouse you'd been playing with yourself and Eric.

Both heat and remorse filled that gaze and you had to convince yourself to look away before you drowned in it.

"Don't look at me like that" you told him for the second time, gaze going cold. "I don't want your pity."

"Oh, I'm not pitying you, y/n." He said on an exhale, "That look was definitely not of pity."

It was the same every time. No matter how much you distanced yourself from Mat, no matter how many times you said it'd be the last, no matter how many ultimatums you made with yourself. There was just something about him that threw every good intention you had out the window.

"And what if I want to push?" Heat flared in his eyes, and his gaze dipped to your corset and back up within a breath. "If he's not careful, someone else will have beat him to it."

"Beat him to what?" You played along, despite your brain warning you to stop.

His mouth lifted up in a whisper of a grin, "To taking you up to your childhood room and bending you across their knee." 

Mat was blunt and to the point, you had to give him that. He didn't hesitate when he knew he wanted something. When he had his sights set on you. Which was more often than not these days. 

"Someone already did beat him to it," you remind him, bringing him back to that night two weeks prior when you basically had him eating out of the palm of your hand.

Eric had been out of town on a business trip, and after receiving a very persuasive message, you couldn't deny Mat's request at buzzing him into your apartment for the evening. 

He had spent most of the night between your thighs, and you received praise after praise from him regarding how much he loved your legs and could stay between them for days.

And Eric nearly busted you for it, too.

– 

"Jesus, babe, are you okay?" There was concern in Eric's voice as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms across your front and kissing your neck. 

You looked at him through the mirror, a question in your eyes. "What do you mean? What is it?" 

He stepped back, gesturing to the back of your thigh. "You've got a huge bruise. Did you run into something?"

Your eyes went wide for a split second before you turned, finding a very large, very exposed, and very purple bruise right below your asscheek. Not bruise - hickey. The small shirt you were wearing and lack of pants did absolutely nothing to hide your bottom half that had Mat's lips trailing up and down it just a few nights prior.

"I, uh," You wavered, but quickly got back on your feet. "God, yeah, I completely forgot about that. Leg day," You shrugged, laughing lightly. "Leg extension machines are a bitch. I ran straight into it."  

He bought it without even looking at the price. As he did for most things, including the cost of your fabrications. 

"Well, why don't you take it easy today, baby?" His brows furrowed in concern, and a frown set on his face. "I have to go into the office, but I'll order you some breakfast and have it delivered. How does that sound?"

—

Mat's words, spoken softly and warmly against your neck, pulled you out of your thoughts 

"Not with you in that dress. And I don't remember bending you over my knee." He threw you a fervid look, "I absolutely would not forget something like that." He looked your way, and you shot a glare back at him.  "Think we should try it out? Give it a go?" 

You immediately shook your head. "No. Absolutely not. I told you, I really am trying to work it out with Eric."

He rolls his eyes and starts pacing in front of you, hands in his pockets. "Sure. Because lover boy is so great to you. So great he bails on meeting the parents each time you plan something."

Mat's eyebrow lifts, and you let his reply slide off you, not wanting to look too deep into his words. Nor too deep into why you refuse to acknowledge them.

"I get it." He starts again when he receives your silence. "He's rich, good-looking enough." He pauses, ensuring to lock eyes with you before his next words. "But I sure as hell know that he doesn't get you off like I do."

His words have heat coming to your cheeks and you stand, needing to put some distance between you and his dangerous mouth. Everything about him is dangerous. Alluring. Just being next to him had your hands sweaty and your cheeks flushed. And Mat knew it. He was aware of every little thing that he was doing, and how in turn it was affecting you. He knew which buttons to press, and damn did he know the best ways to press them. Both good and bad.

You watch as his eyes dance up your legs slowly before settling on the top of your dress, where you know he is looking at the way the corset accentuates your chest.

"You can't say things like that to me, Mat," you tried to object that this was what you wanted, as if his mouth wasn't enticing you with every swipe of his tongue along his lip. "And I told you to Stop. Looking at me. Like. That." 

It was the third time you told him that tonight, and you had a feeling it wouldn't be the last.  For your own sanity. For his. So you wouldn't think about jumping his bones. Because when he looked at you like that, you lost all sense of fidelity around him. 

It was like kerosene to a flame. He couldn't help but be drawn to you. And you caught fire the minute his gaze met yours.

You could barely emphasize your words spoken to him and you were already losing this battle. You knew it, he knew it. But you didn't do anything to stop it. Mat was your drug, and you wanted to relapse.

"And in what way am I looking at you exactly?" He raised a brow.

"Like you're imagining what I look like naked."

"Don't have to imagine it." He taps his temple. "It's right up here. Every beautiful, slick inch."

You tried to answer him with a glare. With the pretense that you were annoyed, pissed off even. But your walls seemed to magically fall around him. He was Joshua, and you were the walls of Jericho. You crumbled at a mere brush of his lips against your neck.

Your lack of reply caused his lip to quirk and your heart rate to increase as he eased his way towards you again. 

"You need to tone it down, Barzal."  You at least attempted to act like this wasn't what you wanted. Like you didn't come here tonight specifically hoping to drop to your knees for this man who you couldn't seem to deny. Couldn't get out of your head.

He lifted his hands in front of him, feigning surrender, but a devious smirk was still on his face. "Too much?"

"I have a boyfriend, Mat," You breathed, just inches away from him. "I can't be at your beck and call all the time."

He saluted you, a short dip of his head. "Fucking aware of the boyfriend bit, thanks."

His tone was clipped, and the small tick in his jaw was an easy tell that he wasn't happy with that little fact either.

You were so close, you could smell the familiarity of him. The sweet but spiciness of his cologne, the citrus of his detergent. And the unmistakable musk that was him. A smell you could distinct most when you were on top wrapped around him, slowly sliding up and down his hard, slick length.

"Mat." Your voice was a warning, but you weren't sure who to. Not sure whether it was said in pleading or warning.

He countered with your name in the same tone, eyes dark and finally dipping down to that area that sank low between your breasts. The area that you'd left exposed on purpose. the dress chosen specifically to draw the attention of a certain pair of hazel eyes, not blue.

But instead of closing that last step between you two, he went on to tease you further. Like he enjoyed the chase. Like he wanted you begging for it for once. As if he didn't have you begging two weeks ago at the mercy of his tongue between your legs.

"So, tell me y/n, how do you fair with Ricky boy at your beck and call?" He takes a few small steps away, walking over to the deck's railing and leaning against it. 

Your eyes immediately travel down his figure, taking into account for the first time this evening what he's wearing, and how good it looks on him. The tee he's wearing is hugging his biceps in a way that makes your thighs clench, and the jeans on his waist drags your attention to stature of him, your gaze savoring in every thick inch of his toned legs that are even visible through the fabric.

"Earth to y/n." He says, a mock in his tone, and your head snaps back up, finding the heat in his own eyes as they swallow you up.  "You sure he's scoring well in the-" He looks down between your legs, sentence cut off with a cough. "Department. Cause I sure know you're a sensitive little thing down there."

You bite the inside of your cheek and unconsciously cross your legs as you mimick Mat's pose along the railing, five feet from him. "I don't think you're really in a position to be asking me that question."

Mat takes one step toward you. "Am I not?" His question hangs in the air as he closes the rest of the distance between you, and you lose all sense of control when he cups your chin in his hand, thumb skimming along your lip and calluses tickling your cheek. 

"No-" Your breath comes out shakily, visible between the two of you in the frigid air. "Eric does an adequate job."

Mat takes another agonizing step closer to you, causing you to turn your head up to hold his gaze. "Oh yeah? Adequate?"

"Yes." You keep your chin held high. You were not going to lose this battle. Mat will. And with a final step, you placed a hand on Mat's chest, tilting your head to the side to give him a view of your neck, and leaning up on your toes. You will not be the one to cave. Not this time, at least. "And he knows just how sweet it is." You counter, a cocky smirk on your lips.

Mat's eyes flared, darting down between your thighs and back up to where your hand was still against his chest and slowly moving downward towards the belt of his pants. "Fuck. That. He couldn't compare to me if he tried for 30 years." His voice is low, head tilting closer to your exposed neck. "You and I both know, y/n, that I'm the only name you'll be screaming at the end of the night." His lips traveled soft along your ear, down your jaw and to your neck.  

You wanted him to finish it. To start it. To make the first move and give you some semblance of resolve to your soul that screamed at you that this was completely, horrifyingly unfaithful. 

A whimper escaped your lips that you did not mean to let out, and Mat took that as an open invitation. 

As if he could read your mind, he took that last step, taking your lips onto his like it was his last breath. 

"Mat-" You try to say between breaths, every thought dissipating as his tongue caresses yours.

Before you can finish, Mat grabs the back of your neck, pulling you in deeper and almost lifting you off your feet to meet his mouth.

Mat kissed like no one you'd ever known. Like it was his last, and his first simultaneously. Like he couldn't get enough of you. 

"Ricky?" Mat questioned, lips trailing down your neck, across your bodice and back up to attach to your own. 

You groaned at the sound of his name, wanting any thought of him and his face to be long gone from your head. But you knew he was only asking to ensure that he was indeed not joining the party tonight.

"Not coming." You answered, keeping your response simple and vague.

His hands found your body, and his groan sounded painful as he soon realized you weren't wearing undergarments beneath the thin corset of your dress. He squeezed each breast, thumb skimming across both sensitive peaks, making you ache. 

They moved south, across your waist, before settling with one into your hair, one splayed wide against your hip. He tilted your head slightly, getting an inch deeper, erratic and totally consuming you. 

You reciprocated fervently, a groan slipping between you which he captured with his own and tangled your hands into his hair, trying to get closer, to get more of him.

"You're so fucking hot, y/n. So fucking sexy." He bites your lip, capturing it between his teeth and pulling away just a inch before resting his forehead against yours, eyes wild and heart feeling like it was going to beat out of his chest.

He backed you up so you were leaning against the railing before easily lifting you onto it and stepping between your thighs. 

You were panting now as Mat trailed his lips across your jaw, down your neck and to the edge of your shoulder, lips nudging the strap down your arm.

"Careful Barz," you cautioned him, "Eric saw the hickey you left last time."

"Good." Mat didn't miss a beat, barely acknowledging you and continuing his sinful descent down your collarbone and to the top of your breasts that were spilling out of your corset. "Don't care."

He was lighter with his touches, despite his words, and damn if you didn't appreciated him just a touch more for this. For still listening to you when his mind was running wild with lust and hunger. He was wrapped around your finger just as much as you were his.

Instead he let his hands wander beneath the skirt of your dress, to the apex of your thighs, just to find no barrier between his middle finger and your folds. 

You gasped lightly and Mat caught your sounds in his mouth once more, silencing you and pushing not one but two fingers deep into you.

"Fucking dirty." Mat grinned, pulling away for a second before sucking your tongue between his lips. "You're fucking naughty, walking all innocently around your family with not a lick of undergarments on you." 

His voice trailed up to your ear, hot on your neck and you whimpered lightly, gripping his bicep as he pumped in and out of you, fingers slick with your arousal.

"I knew you'd be here," you admitted, voice breathless. "I wanted your hands on me. For you to find out."

He gasped sarcastically, eyes opening again as he dropped his gaze down to where he was still fucking you with his fingers. "You opted for no panties, for me, when you expected Ricky boy to be here too?" He probed mockingly, thumb grazing your swollen clit lightly, causing you to buck your hips into his hand. He was conceited, and he knew it. And loved every bit of your confession.

"Stop fucking bringing him up." You begged, not so kindly and not an ask.

"Dirty." He pumped once, hard. "Filthy," and again, adding his ring finger. "Whore." He pounded in and out of you at a more than pleasurable pace  before dropping to his knees and placing a hot, wet kiss against your center, before licking with fervor and devouring your arousal. His tongue licked a long, slow, strip up your center before attaching his lips to your clit

“Jesus, y/n, you're so wet. So fucking wet for me, babygirl. Does he make you this wet?"

"No Mat," You gasped, pleasure bursting through you, nearly too much. "No one is anywhere near you. No one comes close to you."

You could feel Mat's smug smile against you before he made his way back up to you, hands continuing to pump at a steady rhythm. "Are you going to come for me, baby? All over these fucking fingers?"

"Shit." You couldn't think like this. Could barely get words out. "Shit, yes Mat. Just like that. Just like that, don't stop." You moaned loud against Mat's lips, allowing him to silence your sounds with a large hand over your mouth, not wanting any company to join you outside.

"I've got you," He reassured, forehead pressed against yours, lifting his lips to press a tender kiss to your forehead. "I've always got you."  

The action was so sweet, so at odds with the movements of his hands within you that you startled for a second, right before falling.

You fell off that edge, so high, so blissed that you had to bite into Mat's shoulder to silence yourself from screaming out his name. His movements slowed, and he eased you down, drawing out the waves and letting you recover. 

Your breaths grow ragged and you could feel Mat's heart beating under your palm.

A quick moment passes, Mat's forehead still against yours, both your eyes still closed, trying to catch your breath. When you finally pull away, Mat startles. 

"I should… go in and clean up", you gestured to your legs, splayed wide. Mat ran his knuckle along the outside of your core, causing another shiver to run through you.

When you meet Mat's eyes again, there's a wicked glimmer in his eyes, a lethal smirk on his lips. 

You furrowed your brows, a question on your face. "What?" 

"Let me clean it for you," he says, not a question, and no room in his tone  for you to deny him.

"What are you talking about-"

You gasped in surprise, fisting a handful of his hair. 

"Mat." You were already over sensitive, and having his tongue right back on you had your head spinning, in a good way. "Not what I had in mind." 

He catches your gaze from between your thighs, tongue mid-stroke and directly between your folds. "Are you complaining?" Another lick, thoroughly cleaning up the wetness he previously caused, but you feel as if the action is moot given that it's just arousing you all over again. "Gonna ask me to stop?" 

"God, no." You closed your eyes, breathing through them and savoring the warmth of his mouth - his tongue.

"That's right. Fuck, you taste like heaven. I can't get enough of you." 

You were just about to explode again when Mat quickly popped back up, thumb wiping the corner of his mouth. "All clean." He smiles down at you, knowing exactly what he had done.

You glared at him, and ran a hand through your hair. That may have pissed you off, but you weren't about to go begging for him again. You had too much pride to do that.

"We should…" You started, eyeing him with hooded eyes, still struggling to catch your breath. 

"Yeah," He agreed, a wild look on his face, taking a step back away from you and not so subtly adjusting himself in his jeans. 

Your knees almost buckled when he lifted one finger to his mouth, then two and finally three, cleaning them to the best of his ability while simultaneously holding eye contact with you. 

And damn if it wasn't one of the hottest things you've seen.

You flushed at the site and hopped down from the railing, repositioning the top of your dress and attempting to straighten your hair. 

He looked almost pained, reaching to readjust himself again. Despite the temperature outside, a glimmer of sweat was across his forehead.

When you met his gaze, your eyes were frantic and remorseful. A question furrowing into your brow, he answered it before you could even get it out.

"Don't worry about me," he said, and you tried speaking up, trying to insist that you do something in return, but he held a hand up. "This isn't about me tonight; this is all you. I'm good. I swear." He gave you a quick nod, a glimmer in his eyes despite how uncomfortable you imagined he must be feeling. He just needed to walk it off.

But a glance down towards his jeans and a shaky hand running through his hair told you he was very much not good, and your traitorous heart swelled.

You tried again, "But-" 

"I'm trying to do something good here after making someone else's girlfriend come all over my fingers." He started, turning and facing the other way. His breaths were deep and he braved another glance towards you, gaze darkening as he drank you in again. "So I'm going to need you to please spare me, turn around and walk back into that house. I dont beg often but I am begging you now."

"Mat-"You  didn't know what to say.You weren't used to not reciprocating, but the look that Mat was leveling you with sent a chill through you and told you to drop it. "Right. I'll see you inside." 

He gave you a curt nod. "Yeah. Just need a minute." His words were short and clipped, and you'd never seen him so on edge. 

You swallowed your grin, not knowing if you should feel sorry for Mat or if you should be teasing the hell out of him for having to deal with his raging hard on before walking back into the house with both your families.

Despite your attempts to hide it, Mat heard the snort coming out of your mouth, and he turned back around to find you with one hand on the door, pausing and biting into your knuckles to hide your grin. Your amusement danced across your face, in your eyes, flickering with amusement, in your shoulders shaking up and down, and in the very unladylike snort that came from your lips. 

Mat's eyes narrowed on something behind you and his eyes quickly darted down to his watch before landing back on you, and in just a few short steps he had closed the distance between the two of you while simultaneously pulling you a few steps to the side and out of view of the door. "Something funny?" 

You shook your head, biting your lip, eyes unwavering on him. 

His demeanor and the look on his face was ridiculously hot, and extremely off-putting in a way that had your cheeks heating and arousal, again, pooling to your center.

"You laughing at this?" He backed you into the wall, this time hiking your leg up his side and grinding his clothed, hard length against your bare pussy. "Because I don't think your boy in there will find it very funny if he walks out here in 30 seconds to find his girlfriend being fucked against the wall by someone that's not him."

His words were whispered in your ear, lips brushing over you, and with that action alone he'd gotten you keyed back up again, core aching for more. 

Score tied up. You'd both be walking back in there, desperate to hide the tension rolling through your bodies.

But Mat's words registered in your head and your heart dropped. 

Your boy. 

Walks out here. 

Fucked by someone that's not him.

Eric was inside? Eric was here?

As if seeing the internal conflict waging in your head, Mat nodded towards the sliding glass door next to you. The small parting in the curtain gave you a straight view to where Eric had indeed made it and was hugging each and every relative you had in the house, along with Mat's. A large bouquet of flowers was held in his hand, and a pie was in the other. 

"He's fucking early is what he is." Mat grumbles against you, the sound going straight to your center.

And you could have sworn you heard Mat mutter under his breath something along the lines of, "Had to pick the weirdest fucking flower, did he?" To which he had a point. Your favorites were tulips. Not that he could get them anywhere at this time of year.

And there you found yourself again, making up excuses. 

Your eyes darted back to Mat who still had you pinned against him and you gently pushed his chest taking three large steps back towards the door.

His hand skimmed over yours, as if to pull you back to him to stay in his embrace, and you nearly did. Nearly said fuck all of this and ran back into the warmth of his body, but you knew you couldn't do that. Your will power came back and your mind cleared. 

Mat didn't look surprised or caught off guard in the slightest when he noticed Eric inside or when he informed you that he had arrived.

"You knew he was coming." You accused firmly, not a question.

He shrugged innocently. "He may have mentioned something to me about it." But the wicked glitter in his eyes told you otherwise. "Asked me to keep you preoccupied so you wouldn't see his little surprise coming." He gave the slightest of nods towards the door, as if he was merely doing your boyfriend a favor and not chipping a piece of your heart off another inch.

You stood there, mouth agape and eyes narrowed at where Mat was content to hold your gaze, a silent conversation happening between the two of you.

The longing in Mat's gaze was still there and you noticed as his eyes searched your face before settling back on the scene behind you, a swift but noticeable glare forming around his eyes.

"Go. I'll be in in a minute. I have to make a phone call." 

"Oh, so you're the real one who has to work off the clock?" You probed, accusation in your tone. 

"I'm never truly off the clock, y/n. always being tugged one way or another."

"So this was all just a ruse to what? distract me?" Your walls were building back up, and you weren't sure why you felt disappointed. You chose this just as much as he did. You came here tonight dressed in a way to catch Mat's eye.

He shrugged, avoiding your eyes. "Had to do my part." 

"Did ya have to finger fuck me to get the job done?"

"It didn't hurt, did it?" He smirked at you, cruelly. "You certainly weren't complaining five minutes ago."

You ignored his jeer, continuing. "Is that all I am to you? A means to an end? Someone you use to get off, or to what? Get back at Eric for having me instead of you?"

"If you'll remember, sweetheart, one,  I didn't get off, two, Eric sure didn't "have you tonight", I did," His jaw ticks, "and three, you're no means to no end."

Your eyes narrow at him. "Oh, bullshit. You're jealous and just doing this because you want to feel in control. None of that was real to you."

Mat countered quickly, grabbing your wrist and spinning you back to him. "Give me a fucking break," He pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath while simultaneously holding onto your wrist. "It's always real to me. Never a ruse. Not since the first time I kissed you".

"We were 15 the first time you kissed me." You said, pointedly. To the now nearly 30, you were both pushing.

"And?" He questions, annoyance forming along his brows - you'd know him too long not to miss it.

"We're getting off track. And you need to stop saying shit like that to me. It's not fair to eric."

"And you coming all over my face the other night is? All over my fingers tonight? What the hell is that if not real to you, y/n?" He shot back before you could even prepare to come up with a reply. 

By the change in tone you could read him like a book and you knew immediately that he was losing his patience and getting pissed off. You knew of his obvious dislike of Eric, though he thought he hid it well and deep.

But you deliberately ignored his last question. You were not in the headspace to be asked that type of thing right now, and you were not ready to ask yourself that question because you didn't have the answer. 

You changed topics instead.

"We probably shouldn't do this again." Your gaze shifted once more to inside where Eric was now hugging your mom, and suddenly you were overwhelmed with the guilt that you had so easily pushed to the side not even ten minutes ago. "I really am trying to make it work with him."

"Sure." Mat gave you a shit-eating grin. "We won't do it again." He agreed, but you saw the lie for what it was. Words just to appease you.

"Don't condescend me, Mat."

"I would never do such a thing." He countered, no cadence in his tone and eyebrow raised, as if he wasn't asking anymore but telling you to go inside.

And instead of arguing with him further, clearly knowing he wasn't going to keep that promise, you turned around, smoothed out your dress once more and headed inside. 

Deep down, you knew you wouldn't keep that promise either.

-

Luckily, no one noticed your absence as you slipped through the back door, not earning a glance from anyone around you. 

The room was stuffy compared to the fresh air outside, and you headed into the kitchen to open the small window above the sink. 

A warm arm wrapped around your middle, the other covering your eyes as you knew it was Eric who leaned down to press a sloppy kiss against your cheek. He had wine on his breath, and his hair was combed to the side.

You turned in his arms to find him dressed to the nines and smiling warmly.

"Baby!" His grin was wide, and he held a bouquet of hydrangeas in one hand and a pie in the other. But when he got a good look at you, a frown graced his face. "You look flushed. Are you feeling alright? Are you sick?" He held a hand up to your forehead, a worried look replacing his smile just as quickly as it came. "You feel warm." 

"Never better!" you replied, diverting his attention and grabbing two wine glasses from the kitchen cabinet. I can't believe you're here; you said you weren't going to make it." 

He gave you a sheepful smile, "So? Surprised? How was my acting job?" 

You rolled your eyes, forcing a grin to your lips. "You could have toned it down a bit, you asshole."

Keep it light. Keep it flirty. Keep his attention away from your mussed-up hair and too-hot skin.

Eric held up a hand in surrender. "I had to make you think I wasn't coming." He shrugged a shoulder and looked around the room. "Honestly, I couldn't have done it without the help of Barzal, he was the mastermind behind it all."

You raised a single brow, refraining from letting a scowl cross your face. "Was he, now?" And Eric nodded, leading you to the couch where you both sat. You made sure to keep your legs tightly closed, not wanting to give anyone a show and certainly not wanting Eric to notice the absence of what should have been between your legs. "How so?"

Eric laid his arm on the couch behind your back, leaning towards you. Meanwhile, you had a death grip on your wine glass and let up just a bit, not wanting to break it.

Your nerves were sky high, and while you weren't getting the impression that Eric was suspicious, you couldn't help but feel like you were wearing a sign with flashing lights that said, "I just hooked up with someone, and it wasn't my boyfriend! And I loved every bit of it!" Your conscience was weighing on you, and heavy.

"Well, to be honest, he orchestrated most of it. He has way more free time than I do and I barely had time to stop at the store to pick that up," He gestured to where you left the flowers sitting on the cabinet, not even bothering to put them in a vase yet. "I came up with the idea of surprising you, but he let me know when you'd be arriving, what to bring, what to wear, where to go, and what time I should arrive. He also gave me a rundown of all the family members, names and what all to expect."

"He's fucking early," You remembered Mat saying.

"So you didn't actually have extra work to do at the office?" you asked. Then why were you even there today? It's Thanksgiving. You should have been home. You shouldn't have asked Mat to plan anything." 

Eric held up a finger to halt you, and you immediately wanted to yank it back down. "Oh, no, I did have work to do. I finished earlier than expected, though. But like I said, Barzy's fine, his job is way less stressful than mine anyway. I'm sure he was happy to do it."

You nearly scoffed but caught yourself. Yeah, Mat was super happy to keep me busy. He could have done that in 100 different ways but decided to do it by putting his mouth on you instead.

However, you knew that the demands of Mat's job were anything but slight. Yes, he got paid a pretty penny, but the physical and mental pressure he was under was unfathomable. Not to mention the danger he was in each and every night he played. You would never in a million years compare it to being in finance, which Eric was. Not that you were belittling Eric's job either - you had just wished Eric had been the one to organize everything, not Mat. 

It just made your head swim even more, causing you to be increasingly more confused than you already were.

"I see." There was nothing else you wanted to say about that. Eric may have come up with the idea, but Mat orchestrated it. Even though you knew he had a game yesterday and flew out late, arriving in BC  past midnight last night. 

However, you quickly lightened your mood, not wanting any emotions to show on your face. "Well, thank you baby, I'm so glad you could finally make it!"

"Anything for you. Anything." He pressed a kiss to your nose and then to your lips before his eyes were drawn to the back door. "Ah, there's the man of the night. What's Barzal doing outside? It's freezing." He nodded to where Mat was now pacing across the lawn past the glass doors, phone glued to his ear.

What's he doing? Walking it off. You thought, with a smirk tugging at your lips.

You watched as he ran a hand through his hair, and your eyes ran down his torso and back up to his face. But you shook out of it quickly, turning back to face Eric. "Work call I think? I'm not too sure. I haven't really spoken to him much tonight."

It wasn't exactly a lie. There was not much talking going on when he had his hands between your thighs. Just heavy pants.

"Well when he comes back in I'll have to remember to thank him for helping me woo my girl."

You nodded, agreeing, smiling up at him and running a hand down his cheek. "You certainly will have to." 

When Mat finally did sneak back in, everyone was so preoccupied in a game that was being played that no one noticed his entrance. No one but you, that is. You were unfortunately annoyingly aware of Mat's presence at all times. 

He caught your eye as he slipped into the kitchen, and you couldn't quite place the look in his eyes. What you could place, though, was your leather jacket in his hand where he held it at his side that wasn't facing the others in the room. He silently placed it on the counter, looking back your way, shifting to Eric, and back to you again, trying to hide the smirk on his face. Whatever the hell that means. Bastard. 

Your  brief glance down to his pants told you that there was no longer a bulge there and you were definitely happy he got that settled. You watched him grab his own glass, pour himself a drink, and easily slip into the chaos of the living room. He squeezed into a spot beside your father and leaned back, crossing an ankle over his knee.

Mat caught your eye from across the room, gaze flickering between yourself and Eric. He raised an eyebrow at you as if to say, "So, did lover boy surprise you?"  To which you simply flipped him off from behind your wine glass.

Eric was in a riveting conversation with your aunt about bonds, but when he finally took his head out of his ass, he noticed Mat across the room. He smiled wide, waving Mat's way - happy and oblivious to the tension that was flowing between the two of you. 

Mat subtly nodded back, raising his glass to him, the smallest hint of a grin on his face. Like he knew something Eric didn't. This secret between the two of you that was pulled taught like a string, tied and connecting you both. 

Eric, who was so unaware and teetering on the way to being drunk, was none the wiser to what Mat's grin really meant. 

Your mind was made. 

You may have had guilt eating away at you all evening, but it was Thanksgiving, and there was no way you were telling Eric the truth on Thanksgiving. It would just have to wait.

[mbarzals]

Talk - M. Barzal

a/n: hi everyone i'm temporarily back! i'm a barzy whore first and a women second. a little backstory that no one asked for - i've been working on this since november of 2023 and i always knew i wanted to post it somewhere. it was orignally going to be about m tkachuk but sadly things changed and barz always has me running back to him. p.s. (i know infidelity is never okay and i do not condone it. that being said this is a work of fiction and fiction is supposed to be escapism. i will have justifications for it in the end, although cheating should never be justified. again - this is just fanfiction and i am just a girl. sue me).

summary: you're in a happy relationship but cant help crawling back to mat each time you're around him

warnings: infidelity, smut, swearing

word count: 7k

Part 1

You stepped out into the unusually cold air, breathing deeply, filling your lungs with the crisp smells of the night, and trying to calm your racing heart. You took your lip between your teeth and settled down against the steps leading into the yard. A curse flew out of your mouth, and you leaned back into your palms, looking up into the oak tree. Moonlight was glistening off the green leaves that were slowly fading into amber. 

He wasn't going to make it. Again.

You shouldn't have been surprised, but you couldn't help the disappointment that was settling into your chest like a rock sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Slow at first and then quickly plummeting. You decided one last call wouldn't hurt, figuring he'd just ignore it again. 

When he picked up on the last ring, you sucked in a quick breath, not at all expecting him to answer. Not prepared.

"Eric." You started, taking a deep breath to compose yourself,  a warning in your tone, "Where the hell are you?"

"Listen. I know I fucked up, I know." His excuse was expected, and you allowed him to continue. "But I'm finishing up this huge project and I really need to get it submitted tonight. There's no way around it." 

This was always the justification for his absences and you don't know why you kept accepting it. 

"It's Thanksgiving." You paused, willing yourself not to overreact. "You promised." 

"Y/n," he sighed, like he was the one in distress. "I know I did, and I feel awful about it.  But I'm doing this for you. I'll see you tonight at home?"

You scoffed, biting back the bitter laugh on your tongue. That was a load of shit, but you really didn't feel like arguing again. "Right. See you tonight." And without letting him say goodbye, you hung up.

An exasperated noise made its way out of your mouth and you ran both of your hands through your hair, hoping to calm the anger rolling through you before clenching your fists, nails biting into your palm. 

You were fuming, and suddenly, you were glad about the dramatic drop in temperature that came with the dreary rain that had been falling all day. Your neck felt hot, and as you reached to slide out of your leather blazer, you heard a loud, condescending whistle from behind you. 

You recognized it for who it was, trying not to acknowledge him as you felt his warmth lean up against your side, taking a seat entirely too close for your liking. You tried your best at ignoring him, not looking his way, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Although finding you sitting out here alone was probably satisfying enough.

"Don't patronize me, Mat."

He laughed in response. 

"And fuck right off with that cocky tone." You glanced his way. "You're an hour late. Don't look at me like that." 

"I didn't even say anything!" He gave you a grin. "But," He looked around, hand at his brow as if searching. "I don't see a certain blonde here. Did I miss all of his 5 foot 5 frame when I walked in? Would have been easy to, not gonna lie."  

You turned towards him, eyes darting down to his lip that he had captive between his teeth. His focus was already on you, eyes scanning your face as if looking for something he couldn't find.

This time the feeling sinking into your stomach wasn't disappointment.

"The look on your face speaks for itself." You muttered softly, not even dignifying his second comment with a response and not bothering to put space between you, knowing he'd just close it right back up again. 

And certainly not in the mood to go back and forth with him about Eric tonight. 

But Mat just took it in stride, ignoring your response. "So, what? No Ricky boy tonight?"

"Eric is finishing up a project at work. Not everyone can have all play, no work." 

Your jab slid right off him, in one ear and out the other. And you weren't exactly sure why you were even defending him, given that this was the third consecutive Holiday he'd canceled on plans to meet your family. 

Mat leveled you with a look that told you he didn't buy it. He quirked an eyebrow and stood up, putting some distance between you. "So what lover boy's excuse this time? Got numbers to crunch? Merger's to negotiate? Clients to swoon?" His voice dipped low as he whispered, "Cause he certainly isn't here taking advantage of looking at you in that short little dress."

"I wouldn't push me tonight, Barzal." You warned, adamant that you wouldn't cross that line with him tonight. Not when you were trying so hard to make it work with Eric. Despite his flaws, it was hard to find better these days. He helped a lot financially as well.  You didn't love admitting it to yourself, and you'd be damned if you admitted it to Mat, knowing he'd just pity offer you some loan. You were too prideful for that. So you settled with little white lies and an avoidance of the topic when around him.

He gave you a look that you immediately calculated to have a deeper meaning. So many questions in his eyes and too many that would expose the carefully-thought-out rouse you'd been playing with yourself and Eric.

Both heat and remorse filled that gaze and you had to convince yourself to look away before you drowned in it.

"Don't look at me like that" you told him for the second time, gaze going cold. "I don't want your pity."

"Oh, I'm not pitying you, y/n." He said on an exhale, "That look was definitely not of pity."

It was the same every time. No matter how much you distanced yourself from Mat, no matter how many times you said it'd be the last, no matter how many ultimatums you made with yourself. There was just something about him that threw every good intention you had out the window.

"And what if I want to push?" Heat flared in his eyes, and his gaze dipped to your corset and back up within a breath. "If he's not careful, someone else will have beat him to it."

"Beat him to what?" You played along, despite your brain warning you to stop.

His mouth lifted up in a whisper of a grin, "To taking you up to your childhood room and bending you across their knee." 

Mat was blunt and to the point, you had to give him that. He didn't hesitate when he knew he wanted something. When he had his sights set on you. Which was more often than not these days. 

"Someone already did," you remind him, bringing him back to that night two weeks prior when you basically had him eating out of the palm of your hand.

Eric had been out of town on a business trip, and after receiving a very persuasive message, you couldn't deny Mat's request at buzzing him into your apartment for the evening. 

He had spent most of the night between your thighs, and you received praise after praise from him regarding how much he loved your legs and could stay between them for days.

And Eric nearly busted you for it, too.

– 

"Jesus, babe, are you okay?" There was concern in Eric's voice as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms across your front and kissing your neck. 

You looked at him through the mirror, a question in your eyes. "What do you mean? What is it?" 

He stepped back, gesturing to the back of your thigh. "You've got a huge bruise. Did you run into something?"

Your eyes went wide for a split second before you turned, finding a very large, very exposed, and very purple bruise right below your asscheek. Not bruise - hickey. The small shirt you were wearing and lack of pants did absolutely nothing to hide your bottom half that had Mat's lips trailing up and down it just a few nights prior.

"I, uh," You wavered, but quickly got back on your feet. "God, yeah, I completely forgot about that. Leg day," You shrugged, laughing lightly. "Leg extension machines are a bitch. I ran straight into it."  

He bought it without even looking at the price. As he did for most things, including the cost of your fabrications. 

"Well, why don't you take it easy today, baby?" His brows furrowed in concern, and a frown set on his face. "I have to go into the office, but I'll order you some breakfast and have it delivered. How does that sound?"

—

Mat's words, spoken softly and warmly against your neck, pulled you out of your thoughts 

"Not with you in that dress. And I don't remember bending you over my knee." He threw you a fervid look, "I absolutely would not forget something like that." He looked your way, and you shot a glare back at him.  "Think we should try it out? Give it a go?" 

You immediately shook your head. "No. Absolutely not. I told you, I really am trying to work it out with Eric."

He rolled his eyes and started pacing in front of you, hands in his pockets. "Sure. Because lover boy is so great to you. So great he bails on meeting the parents each time you plan something."

Mat's eyebrow lifts, and you let his reply slide off you, not wanting to look too deep into his words. Nor too deep into why you refuse to acknowledge them.

"I get it." He starts again when he receives your silence. "He's rich, good-looking enough. Could work on the height, I admit." He pauses, lip between his teeth to hold back a grin, "But I sure as hell know that he doesn't get you off like I do."

His words have heat coming to your cheeks and you stand, needing to put some distance between you and his dangerous mouth. Everything about him is dangerous. Alluring. Just being next to him had your hands sweaty and your cheeks flushed. And Mat knew it. He was aware of every little thing that he was doing, and how in turn it was affecting you. He knew which buttons to press, and damn did he know the best ways to press them. Both good and bad.

You watch as his eyes dance up your legs slowly before settling on the top of your dress, where you know he is looking at the way the corset accentuates your chest.

"You can't say things like that to me, Mat," you tried to object that this was what you wanted, as if his mouth wasn't enticing you with every swipe of his tongue along his lip. "And I told you to Stop. Looking at me. Like. That." 

It was the third time you told him that tonight, and you had a feeling it wouldn't be the last.  For your own sanity. For his. So you wouldn't constantly think about what it would feel like with his hands around your waist. Because when he looked at you like that, you lost all sense of fidelity around him. What was one more time? Just a blip in the span of everything.

It was like kerosene to a flame. He couldn't help but be drawn to you. And you caught fire the minute his gaze met yours.

You could barely emphasize your words spoken to him and you were already losing this battle. You knew it, he knew it. But you didn't do anything to stop it. Mat was your drug, and you wanted to relapse.

"And in what way am I looking at you exactly?" He raised a brow.

"Like you're imagining what I look like naked."

His response was immediate. "Don't have to imagine it." He taps his temple. "It's right up here. Every beautiful, slick inch."

You tried to answer him with a glare. With the pretense that you were annoyed, pissed off even. But your walls seemed to magically fall around him. He was Joshua, and you were the walls of Jericho. You crumbled at a mere brush of his lips against your neck.

Your lack of reply caused his lip to quirk and your heart rate to increase as he eased his way towards you again. 

"You need to tone it down, Barzal."  You at least attempted to act like this wasn't what you wanted. Like you didn't come here tonight specifically hoping to drop to your knees for this man who you couldn't seem to deny. Couldn't get out of your head.

He lifted his hands in front of him, feigning surrender, but a devious smirk was still on his face. "Too much?"

"I have a boyfriend," You breathed, just inches away from him. "I can't be at your beck and call all the time."

He saluted you, a short dip of his head. "Fucking aware of the boyfriend bit, thanks."

His tone was clipped, and the small tick in his jaw was an easy tell that he wasn't happy with that little fact either.

You were so close, you could smell the familiarity of him. The sweet but spiciness of his cologne, the citrus of his detergent. And the unmistakable musk that was him. A smell you could distinct most when you were on top wrapped around him, slowly sliding up and down his hard, slick length.

"Mat." Your voice was a warning, but you weren't sure who to. Not sure whether it was said in pleading or warning.

He countered with your name in the same tone, eyes dark and finally dipping down to that area that sank low between your breasts. The area that you'd left exposed on purpose. The dress chosen specifically to draw the attention of a certain pair of hazel eyes, not blue.

But instead of closing that last step between you two, he went on to tease you further. Like he enjoyed the chase. Like he wanted you begging for it for once. As if he didn't have you begging two weeks ago at the mercy of his tongue between your legs.

"So, tell me y/n, how do you fair with Ricky boy at your beck and call?" He takes a few small steps away, walking over to the deck's railing and leaning against it. 

Your eyes immediately travel down his figure, taking into account for the first time this evening what he was wearing, and how good it looked on him. The simple tee was hugging his biceps in a way that made your thighs clench, and the jeans on his waist dragged your attention to stature of him, your gaze savoring in every thick inch of his toned legs that were even visible through the fabric.

"Earth to y/n." He says, a mock in his tone, and your head snapped back up, finding the heat in his own eyes as they swallowed you up.  "You sure he's scoring well in the-" He looks down between your legs, sentence cut off with a cough. "Department. Cause I sure know you're a sensitive little thing down there."

You bit the inside of your cheek and unconsciously cross your legs as you mimic Mat's pose along the railing, five feet from him. "I don't think you're really in a position to be asking me that question."

Mat takes one step toward you. "Am I not?" His question hung in the air as he closed the rest of the distance between you, and you lose all sense of control when he cups your chin in his hand, thumb skimming along your lip and calluses tickling your cheek. 

"No-" Your breath comes out shakily, visible between the two of you in the frigid air. "Eric does an adequate job."

Mat takes another agonizing step closer to you, causing you to turn your head up to hold his gaze. "Oh yeah? Adequate?"

"Yes." You keep your chin held high. You were not going to lose this battle. Mat will. And with a final step, you placed a hand on Mat's chest, tilting your head to the side to give him a view of your neck, leaning up on your toes. You will not be the one to cave. Not this time, at least. "And he knows just how sweet it is." You counter, a cocky smirk on your lips.

Mat's eyes flared, darting down between your thighs and back up to where your hand was still against his chest and slowly moving downward towards the belt of his pants. "Fuck. That. He couldn't compare to me if he tried." His voice was low, head tilting closer to your exposed neck. "You and I both know that I'm the only name you'll be screaming at the end of the night." His lips traveled soft along your ear, down your jaw and to your neck.  

You wanted him to finish it. To start it. To make the first move and give you some semblance of resolve to your soul that screamed at you that this was completely, horrifyingly unfaithful. 

A whimper escaped your lips that you did not mean to let out, and Mat took that as an open invitation. 

As if he could read your mind, he took that last step, taking your lips onto his like it was his last breath. 

"Mat-" You try to say between breaths, every thought dissipating as his tongue caresses yours.

Before you can finish, Mat grabs the back of your neck, pulling you in deeper and almost lifting you off your feet to meet his mouth.

Mat kissed like no one you'd ever known. Like it was his last, and his first simultaneously. Like he couldn't get enough of you. 

"Ricky?" Mat questioned, lips trailing down your neck, across your bodice and back up to attach to your own. 

You groaned at the sound of his name, wanting any thought of him and his face to be long gone from your head. But you knew he was only asking to ensure that he was indeed not joining the party tonight.

"Not coming." You answered, keeping your response simple and vague.

His hands found your body, and his groan sounded painful as he soon realized you weren't wearing a bra beneath the thin corset of your dress. He squeezed each breast, thumb skimming across both sensitive peaks, making you ache. 

They moved south, across your waist, before settling with one into your hair, one splayed wide against your hip. He tilted your head slightly, getting an inch deeper, erratic and totally consuming you. 

You reciprocated fervently, a groan slipping between you which he captured with his own and tangled your hands into his hair, trying to get closer, to get more of him.

"You're so fucking hot, y/n. So fucking sexy." He bites your lip, capturing it between his teeth and pulling away just a inch before resting his forehead against yours, eyes wild and heart feeling like it was going to beat out of his chest.

He backed you up so you were leaning against the railing before easily lifting you onto it and stepping between your thighs. 

You were panting now as Mat trailed his lips across your jaw, down your neck and to the edge of your shoulder, lips nudging the strap down your arm.

"Careful Barz," you cautioned him, "Eric saw the hickey you left last time."

"Good." Mat didn't miss a beat, barely acknowledging you and continuing his sinful descent down your collarbone and to the top of your breasts that were spilling out of your corset. "Don't care."

He was lighter with his touches, despite his words, and damn if you didn't appreciated him just a touch more for this. For still listening to you when his mind was running wild with lust and hazing over with hunger. He was wrapped around your finger just as much as you were his.

Instead he let his hands wander beneath the skirt of your dress, to the apex of your thighs, just to find no barrier between his middle finger and your wetness. 

You gasped lightly and Mat caught your sounds in his mouth once more, silencing you and pushing not one but two fingers deep into you.

"Fucking dirty." Mat grinned, pulling away for a second before sucking your tongue between his lips. "You're fucking naughty, walking all innocently around your family with not a lick of undergarments on you." 

His voice trailed up to your ear, hot on your neck and you whimpered lightly, gripping his bicep as he pumped in and out of you, fingers slick with your arousal.

"I knew you'd be here," you admitted, voice breathless. "I wanted your hands on me. For you to find out."

He gasped tauntingly, eyes opening again as he dropped his gaze down to where he was still fucking you with his fingers. "You opted for no panties, for me, when you expected Ricky boy to be here too?" He probed mocking you, thumb grazing your swollen clit lightly, causing you to buck your hips into his hand. He was conceited, and he knew it. And he loved every bit of your confession.

"Stop fucking bringing him up." You begged, not so kindly and not an ask.

"Dirty." He pumped once, hard. "Filthy," and again, adding his ring finger. "Whore." He pounded in and out of you at a more than pleasurable pace before dropping to his knees and placing a hot, wet kiss against your center, licking with fervor and devouring your arousal. His tongue licked a long, slow, strip up your center before attaching his lips to your clit, catching you off guard by the change in sensations. One minute filled to the brim, the next a warm breath splaying over the entirety of you.

“Jesus, y/n, you're so wet. So fucking wet for me, babygirl. Does he make you this wet?"

"No Mat," You gasped, pleasure bursting through you, nearly too much. "No one is anywhere near you. No one comes close to you."

Thought Mat's head was under the skirt of your dress, you could feel his smug smile against you before he made his way back up to you, hands continuing to pump inside of you at a steady rhythm. "Are you going to come for me, baby? All over these fucking fingers?"

"Shit." You couldn't think like this. Could barely get words out. "Shit, yes Mat. Just like that. Just like that, don't stop." You moaned loud against Mat's lips, allowing him to silence your sounds with a large hand over your mouth, not wanting any company to join you outside.

"I've got you," He reassured, forehead pressed against yours, lifting his lips to press a tender kiss to your forehead. "I've always got you."  

The action was so sweet, so at odds with the movements of his hands within you that you startled for a second, right before falling.

You fell off that edge, so high, so blissed that you had to bite into Mat's shoulder to silence yourself from screaming out his name. His movements slowed, and he eased you down, drawing out the waves and letting you recover. 

Your breaths grew ragged and you could feel Mat's heart beating under your palm.

A quick moment passes, Mat's forehead still against yours, both your eyes still closed, trying to catch your breath. When you finally pull away, Mat startles. 

"I should… go in and clean up", you gestured to your legs, splayed wide. Mat ran his knuckle along the outside of your core, causing another shiver to run through you.

When you meet Mat's eyes again there's a wicked glimmer in them, a lethal smirk on his lips. 

You furrowed your brows and cocked your head to the side, a question on your face.

"Let me clean it for you," he says, not asking, and no room in his tone  for you to deny him.

"What are you talking about-"

You gasped in surprise, fisting a handful of his hair as he kneeled and made his way back beneath your dress. 

"Mat." You were already over sensitive, and having his tongue right back on you had your head spinning, in a good way. "Not what I had in mind." 

He pulls the dress back and up to catch your gaze from between your thighs, tongue mid-stroke and directly between your folds. "Are you complaining?" Another lick, thoroughly cleaning up the wetness he previously caused, but you feel as if the action is moot given that it's just arousing you all over again. "Gonna ask me to stop?" 

"God, no." You closed your eyes, breathing through them and savoring the warmth of his mouth - his tongue.

"That's right. Fuck, you taste like heaven. I can't get enough of you." 

You were just about to explode again when Mat quickly popped back up, thumb wiping the corner of his mouth. "All clean." He smiles down at you, knowing exactly what he had done.

You glared at him, and ran a hand through your hair. That may have left you needy and wanting, but you weren't about to go begging for him again. Your pride once again won out.

"We should…" You started, eyeing him with hooded eyes, still struggling to catch your breath. 

"Yeah," He agreed, a wild look on his face, taking a step back away from you and not so subtly adjusting himself in his jeans. 

Your knees almost buckled when he lifted one finger to his mouth, then two and finally three, cleaning them to the best of his ability while simultaneously holding eye contact with you. 

And damn if it wasn't one of the hottest things you'd ever seen.

You flushed at the site and hopped down from the railing, repositioning the top of your dress and attempting to straighten your hair. 

He looked almost pained, reaching to readjust himself again. Despite the temperature outside, a glimmer of sweat was across his forehead.

When you met his gaze, your eyes were frantic and remorseful, dropping down to his belt. A question furrowed into your brow but he answered it before you could even get it out.

"Don't worry about me," he said, and you tried speaking up, trying to insist that you do something in return, but he held a hand up. "This isn't about me tonight; this is all you. I'm good. I swear." He gave you a quick nod, a glimmer in his eyes despite how uncomfortable you imagined he must be feeling. He just needed to walk it off.

But a glance down towards his jeans and a shaky hand running through his hair told you he was very much not good, and your traitorous heart swelled.

You tried again, "But-" 

"I'm trying to do something good here after making someone else's girlfriend come all over my fingers." He started, turning and facing the other way. His breaths were deep and he braved another glance towards you, gaze darkening as he drank you in again. "So I'm going to need you to please spare me, turn around and walk back into that house. I dont beg often but I am begging you now."

"Mat-" You didn't know what to say. You weren't used to not reciprocating, but the look that Mat was leveling you with sent a chill through you and told you to drop it. "Right. I'll see you inside." 

He gave you a curt nod. "Yep. Just need a minute." His words were short and clipped, and you'd never seen him so on edge. 

You swallowed your grin, not knowing if you should feel sorry for Mat or if you should be teasing the hell out of him for having to deal with his raging hard on before walking back into the house with both your families.

Despite your attempts to hide it, Mat heard the snort coming out of your mouth, and he turned back around to find you with one hand on the door, pausing and biting into your knuckles to hide your grin. Your amusement danced across your face, in your eyes, flickering with amusement, in your shoulders shaking up and down, and in the very unladylike snort that came from your lips. 

Mat's eyes narrowed on something behind you and his eyes quickly darted down to his watch before landing back on you, and in just a few short steps he had closed the distance between the two of you while simultaneously pulling you a few steps to the side and out of view of the door. "Something funny?" 

You shook your head, biting your lip, eyes unwavering on him. 

His demeanor and the look on his face was ridiculously hot, and extremely off-putting in a way that had your cheeks heating and arousal, again, pooling to your center. So much for Mat's clean-up job.

"You laughing at this?" He backed you into the wall, this time hiking your leg up his side and grinding his clothed, hard length against your bare pussy. "Because I don't think your boy in there will find it very funny if he walks out here in 30 seconds to find his girlfriend being fucked against the wall by someone that's not him."

His words were whispered in your ear, lips brushing over you, and with that action alone he'd gotten you keyed back up again, core aching for more. 

Score tied up. You'd both be walking back in there, desperate to hide the tension rolling through your bodies.

But Mat's words registered in your head and your heart dropped. 

Your boy. 

Walks out here. 

Fucked by someone that's not him.

Eric was inside? Eric was here?

As if seeing the internal conflict waging in your head, Mat nodded towards the sliding glass door next to you. The small parting in the curtain gave you a straight view to where Eric had indeed made it and was hugging each and every relative you had in the house, along with Mat's. A large bouquet of flowers was held in his hand, and a pie was in the other. 

"He's fucking early is what he is." Mat grumbles against you, the sound going straight to your center.

And you could have sworn you heard Mat mutter under his breath something along the lines of, "Had to pick the weirdest fucking flower, did he?" To which he had a point. Your favorites were tulips. Not that he could get them anywhere at this time of year.

And there you found yourself again, making up excuses. 

Your eyes darted back to Mat who still had you pinned against him and you gently pushed his chest taking three large steps back towards the door.

His hand skimmed over yours, as if to pull you back to him to stay in his embrace, and you nearly did. Nearly said fuck all of this and ran back into the warmth of his body, but you knew you couldn't do that. Your will power came back and your mind cleared. 

Mat didn't look surprised or caught off guard in the slightest when he noticed Eric inside or when he informed you that he had arrived.

"You knew he was coming." You accused firmly, not a question.

He shrugged innocently. "He may have mentioned something to me about it." But the wicked glitter in his eyes told you otherwise. "Asked me to keep you preoccupied so you wouldn't see his little surprise coming." He gave the slightest of nods towards the door, as if he was merely doing your boyfriend a favor and not chipping a piece of your heart off another inch.

You stood there, mouth agape and eyes narrowed at where Mat was content to hold your gaze, a silent conversation happening between the two of you.

The longing in Mat's gaze was still there and you noticed as his eyes searched your face before settling back on the scene behind you, a swift but noticeable glare forming around his eyes.

"Go. I'll be in in a minute. I have to make a phone call." 

"Oh, so you're the real one who has to work off the clock?" You probed, accusation in your tone. 

"I'm never truly off the clock, y/n. always being tugged one way or another."

"So this was all just a ruse to what? Distract me?" Your walls were building back up, and you weren't sure why you felt disappointed. You chose this just as much as he did. You came here tonight dressed in a way to catch Mat's eye. In anticipation of seeing him.

He shrugged, avoiding your eyes. "Had to do my part." 

"Did ya have to finger fuck me to get the job done?"

He shot right back, cruel tone in his voice.

"It didn't hurt, did it?" He smirked, "You certainly weren't complaining five minutes ago."

You ignored his jeer, continuing. "Is that all I am to you? A means to an end? Someone you use to get off, or to what? Get back at Eric for having me instead of you?"

"If you'll remember, sweetheart, one,  I didn't get off, two, Eric sure didn't "have you tonight", I did," His jaw ticks, "and three, you're no means to no end."

Your eyes narrow at him. "Oh, bullshit. You're jealous and just doing this because you want to feel in control. None of that was real to you."

Mat countered quickly, grabbing your wrist and spinning you back to him. "Give me a fucking break," He pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath while simultaneously holding onto your wrist. "It's always real to me. Never a ruse. Not since the first time I kissed you".

"We were 15 the first time you kissed me." You said, pointedly. To the now nearly 30, you were both pushing.

"And?" He questions, annoyance forming along his brows - you'd known him too long to miss it.

"We're getting off track. And you need to stop saying shit like that to me. It's not fair to Eric."

"And you coming all over my face the other night is? All over my fingers tonight? What the hell is that if not unfair to Eric? What part of any of that was not real to you, y/n?" He shot back before you could even prepare to come up with a reply. 

By the change in tone you could read him like a book and you knew immediately that he was losing his patience and getting pissed off. You knew of his obvious dislike of Eric, though he thought he hid it deep within the crevices of his heart.

But you deliberately ignored his last question. You were not in the headspace to be asked that type of thing right now, and you were not ready to ask yourself it because you didn't have the answer. 

You changed topics instead.

"We probably shouldn't do this again." Your gaze shifted once more to inside where Eric was now hugging your mom, and suddenly you were overwhelmed with the guilt that you had so easily pushed to the side not even ten minutes ago. "I really am trying to make it work with him."

"Sure." Mat gave you condescending wink. "We won't do it again."

He agreed, but you saw the lie for what it was. Words just to appease you.

"Don't belittle me, Mat."

"I would never do such a thing." He countered, no cadence in his tone and eyebrow raised, as if he wasn't asking anymore but telling you to go inside.

And instead of arguing with him further, clearly knowing he wasn't going to keep that promise, you turned around, smoothed out your dress once more and headed inside. 

Deep down, you knew you wouldn't keep that promise either.

-

Luckily, no one noticed your absence as you slipped through the back door, not earning a glance from anyone around you. You made your way into the bathroom in the secluded hallway before cleaning up and applying another coat of lipstick.

When you entered the kitchen the room was stuffy compared to the fresh air outside, and you headed to open the small window above the sink. 

A warm arm wrapped around your middle, the other covering your eyes as you knew it was Eric who leaned down to press a sloppy kiss against your cheek. He had wine on his breath, and his hair was combed to the side.

You turned in his arms to find him dressed to the nines and smiling warmly.

"Baby!" His grin was wide, and he held a bouquet of hydrangeas in one hand and a pie in the other. But when he got a good look at you, a frown graced his face. "You look flushed. Are you feeling alright? Are you sick?" He held a hand up to your forehead, a worried look replacing his smile just as quickly as it came. "You feel warm." 

"Never better!" you replied, diverting his attention and grabbing two wine glasses from the kitchen cabinet. I can't believe you're here; you said you weren't going to make it." 

He gave you a sheepful smile, "So? Surprised? How was my acting job?" 

You rolled your eyes, forcing a grin to your lips. "You could have toned it down a bit, you asshole."

Keep it light. Keep it flirty. Keep his attention away from your mussed-up hair and too-hot skin.

Eric held up a hand in surrender. "I had to make you think I wasn't coming." He shrugged a shoulder and looked around the room. "Honestly, I couldn't have done it without the help of Barzal, he was the mastermind behind it all."

You raised a single brow, refraining from letting a scowl cross your face. "Was he, now?" And Eric nodded, leading you to the couch where you both sat. You made sure to keep your legs tightly closed, not wanting to give anyone a show and certainly not wanting Eric to notice the absence of what should have been between your legs. "How so?"

Eric laid his arm on the couch behind your back, leaning towards you. Meanwhile, you had a death grip on your wine glass and let up just a bit, not wanting to break it.

Your nerves were sky high, and while you weren't getting the impression that Eric was suspicious, you couldn't help but feel like you were wearing a sign with flashing lights that said, "I just hooked up with someone, and it wasn't my boyfriend! And I loved every bit of it!" Your conscience was weighing on you, and heavy.

"Well, to be honest, he orchestrated most of it. He has way more free time than I do and I barely had time to stop at the store to pick that up," He gestured to where you left the flowers sitting on the counter, not even bothering to put them in a vase yet. "I came up with the idea of surprising you, but he let me know when you'd be arriving, what to bring, what to wear, where to go, and what time I should arrive. He also gave me a rundown of all the family members, names and what all to expect."

"He's fucking early," You remembered Mat saying.

"So you didn't actually have extra work to do at the office?" you asked. "Then why were you even in the office today? It's Thanksgiving. You should have been home. You shouldn't have asked Mat to plan anything." 

Eric held up a finger to halt you, and you immediately wanted to yank it back down. "Oh, no. I did have work to do. I finished earlier than expected, though. But like I said, Barzy's fine, his job is way less stressful than mine anyway. I'm sure he was happy to do it."

You nearly scoffed but caught yourself. Yeah, Mat was super happy to keep me busy. He could have done that in 100 different ways but decided to do it by putting his mouth on you instead.

However, you knew that the demands of Mat's job were anything but slight. Yes, he got paid a pretty penny, but the physical and mental pressure he was under was unfathomable. Not to mention the danger he was in each and every night he played. You would never in a million years compare it to being in finance, which Eric was. Not that you were belittling Eric's job either - you had just wished Eric had been the one to organize everything, not Mat. 

It just made your head swim even more, causing you to be increasingly more confused than you already were.

"I see." There was nothing else you wanted to say about that. Eric may have come up with the idea, but Mat orchestrated it. Even though you knew he had a game yesterday and flew out late, arriving in BC  past midnight last night. 

However, you quickly lightened your mood, not wanting any emotions to show on your face. "Well, thank you baby, I'm so glad you could finally make it!"

"Anything for you. Anything." He pressed a kiss to your nose and then to your lips before his eyes were drawn to the back door. "Ah, there's the man of the night. What's Barzal doing outside? It's freezing." He nodded to where Mat was now pacing across the lawn past the glass doors, phone glued to his ear.

What's he doing? Walking it off. You thought, with a smirk tugging at your lips.

You watched as he ran a hand through his hair, and your eyes ran down his torso and back up to his face. But you shook out of it quickly, turning back to face Eric. "Work call I think? I'm not too sure. I haven't really spoken to him much tonight."

It wasn't exactly a lie. There was not much talking going on when he had his hands between your thighs. Just heavy pants.

"Well when he comes back in I'll have to remember to thank him for helping me woo my girl."

You nodded, agreeing, smiling up at him and running a hand down his cheek. "You certainly will have to." 

When Mat finally did sneak back in, everyone was so preoccupied in a game of charades that was being played that no one noticed his entrance. No one but you, that is. You were unfortunately annoyingly aware of Mat's presence at all times. 

He caught your eye as he slipped into the kitchen, and you couldn't quite place the look in his eyes. What you could place, though, was your leather jacket in his hand where he held it at his side that wasn't facing the others in the room. He silently placed it on the counter, looking back your way, shifting to Eric, and back to you again, trying to hide the smirk on his face. Whatever the hell that means. Bastard. 

Your brief glance down to his pants told you that there was no longer a bulge there and you were definitely happy he got that settled. You watched him grab his own glass, pour himself a drink, and easily slip into the chaos of the living room. He squeezed into a spot beside your father and leaned back, crossing an ankle over his knee.

Mat caught your eye from across the room, gaze flickering between yourself and Eric. He raised an eyebrow at you as if to say, "So, did lover boy surprise you?"  To which you simply flipped him off from behind your wine glass.

Eric was in a riveting conversation with your aunt about bonds, but when he finally took his head out of his ass, he noticed Mat across the room. He smiled wide, waving Mat's way - happy and oblivious to the tension that was flowing between the two of you. 

Mat subtly nodded back, raising his glass to him, the smallest hint of a grin on his face. Like he knew something Eric didn't. This secret between the two of you that was pulled taught like a string, tied and connecting you both. 

Eric, who was so unaware and teetering on the way to being drunk, was none the wiser to what Mat's grin really meant. 

Your eyes snagged back over to Mat as you squinted and noticed just a hint of red around his mouth and your eyes went wide. With a glance back at Eric to make sure he was paying you no attention you pulled your phone out to shoot Mat a text.

Y/N: May want to wipe your lips there, pal. I can see the smudges from across the room.

You watched as Mat reached for his phone on the table beside him, eyes scanning over your text and lifting to meet where you were watching him. A grin spread across his face as he started typing out a reply.

Mat: Good. It matches yours, then.

Your eyes narrowed at him.

Y/N: Not funny. Wipe it off before someone sees you like that.

Mat's chest shook with laughter as he read, and then proceeded to type some more.

Mat: You're the one who reapplied. Now everyone will be able to connect the dots.

You rolled your eyes as your conversation continued.

Y/N: Stop being a pain in my ass and just fix it, okay?

Mat: Heard. Lipstick coming off pronto.

He lifted himself from the couch, rolling his eyes at you before disappearing into the bathroom.

You didn't need another reason to feel guilty, instead putting your phone away and turning back to Eric, a bright smile on your face as you joined into his conversation.

Your mind was made. 

You may have had guilt eating away at you all evening, but it was Thanksgiving, and there was no way you were telling Eric the truth on Thanksgiving. It would just have to wait.

[mbarzals]

hi is anyone still on here who would is interested in my writing still because i finally wrote something (smutty of course) and want to post it somewhere but also i don’t know what guy to base it off of

i also notice that people still like my fics on here pretty often so thought i’d ask y’all :)

[mbarzals]

hello i have decided that i WILL be posting this probably tonight and if no one reads it i will create a new account to post it on and start writing again on there lol

[mbarzals]

hi is anyone still on here who would is interested in my writing still because i finally wrote something (smutty of course) and want to post it somewhere but also i don’t know what guy to base it off of

i also notice that people still like my fics on here pretty often so thought i’d ask y’all :)

[vigillantes]

light of my life ✨

[a7estrellas]

PEDRO PASCAL in London | via rominaromzz

[mbarzals]

respawning for the start of hockey season to say i am absolutely devastated to find out that barzy shaved his head again

[benchwarming]

this is so acutely awful that i don't really even know what to say. jesus.

[stereax]

[stereax]

[annieqattheperipheral]

[fereldancore-deactivated2025012]

I don’t blog about sports, but early this morning my favourite athlete Johnny ‘Hockey’ Gaudreau was knocked off his bicycle and killed along with his younger brother the night before their sister’s wedding. He had just turned 31 years old, married his next door neighbour and had a toddler daughter and a 6 month old son (who were planned to be flower girl and ring bearer at the wedding).

I adored Johnny because he was a such a small streak of lightning in a game full of huge dudes who were regularly a whole foot taller than him. His skills were just fucking phenomenal and he was so exciting to watch. I screamed with joy and cheered him on so loudly I lost my voice on many occasions. He represented his country for International Competitions and is the highest US point scorer.

I could get technical and talk about my favourite goals of his, his stickhandling, dangles, on ice spatial awareness etc but it is all on film for anyone to see, just too much to choose from. Nobody moved like Johnny Hockey.

As a person he was a sweet, kind guy who was universally liked in the sport and beyond. I do not follow celebrities on social media, but on hockey forums there are endless stories of his voracious love of mac and cheese (so much so Kraft put him in a TV ad) and skittles candies that he had a hockey stick covered in them and auctioned for charity.

In interviews he always talked hockey and his family. Whenever asked about new contracts and paycheques he would just shrug and say ‘yeah I bought my dad a boat so we can go fishing’ or ‘I just got a cool new wheelchair lift installed in my holiday home so my cousin can come and spend time with me’, or change the subject and talk about his dog, his wife and kids or The Birds. He was a real gem of a gentleman, modest and always ready to give credit to his team and dad (legendary NJ coach Guy Gaudreau) who motivated Johnny to skate as a toddler by placing skittles candies on the ice for him to fetch.

I’m am so sad for him, his family. This is just a blurb of feels about someone I counted down the days for until I could see them make magic on ice. I wish I could write a good tribute, dammit. Thank you Johnny Hockey.

[chriskreider]

💔

[mbarzals]

hello happy stanley cup playoffs! if anyone wants to talk hockey with me im over at @banginbarzy now!

[mbarzals]

i’m moving! mbarzals-> banginbarzy 🏠

from here forward i’ll be moving all my activity to @banginbarzy ! feel free to join! all my previous writings on here will stay but anything new will be on the new account. i’m really excited to start writing and creating again 🫶🏼

[mbarzals]

i’m moving! mbarzals-> banginbarzy 🏠

from here forward i’ll be moving all my activity to @banginbarzy ! feel free to join! all my previous writings on here will stay but anything new will be on the new account. i’m really excited to start writing and creating again 🫶🏼

[mbarzals]

had a dream i saw matthews score his 70th and i really hope that was prophetic bc im going to the game wednesday