our endless numbered days

[mccnshadow]

under-the-elvish-sun​:

…

Xi’mia knotted her fingers together in her lap as she sat. Glancing at Yue and then at other things, her hands, the teapot, just to the side. It was only moments with Yue, and Xi felt the old youthful doubt begin to seep in. Yue and the enormity of her ship, the effect she had on her crew, her friend had changed so much. 

“Other people might describe it as a peace offering, or a gift, if you didn’t look at it in such bad faith.” She didn’t try to hide her disappointment. Prior to this meeting she had meant to knock down all her barriers and felt stripped raw by even the intention. 

“And if it is a bribe then it’s one that benefits Asfahal too, I rushed it I did, but who can deny you’re an astounding figure on the sea. Asfahal is so land based we hardly support our coasts. The twingate’s have ports that far surpass ours with far fewer resources and if we don’t want to be left behind as the world grows more reliant on sea travel and trade then we have to compete. Our small ships would be sitting ducks for other pirates without someone on our side as…” 

She paused when she realized she was out of breath. Eyes stuck on Yue while her hand held a teacup too tightly. She released it and pulled her hand back.

“I’m doing it again. I’ve become so work focused it’s all I do now. Always returning to it when I feel like I’m losing control.” No wonder you found me boring, was something she could not say. This judgement, another vestige of her youth she thought she’d dealt with already.

Just tell her. Xi’mia echoed Yue’s suggestion in her own mind. 

“I killed my brother’s lover all those years ago, Yue.” It slipped out of her, the worst thing she’d ever done. “I killed her because. Oh- You should have seen the things he did to her. She wasn’t human, she wasn’t- And he said it was all out of love, that he couldn’t bear to lose her.” She ached, an all over-full body ache. Xi’mia thought for a moment it was because she started with the most difficult admission first. The most painful to drag out of her. But she realized she was shaking.

“I did it- When I did it I thought that it was a mercy. What kind of life was she living now that magic had twisted her so terribly. He couldn’t have just let nature take its course, so selfish, to do that to her.” She focused on a point in the distance but was unable to focus her words. “I thought of it as an act of kindness when I did it. Human’s have their number of days to live like any living being, I couldn’t keep prolonging her death magically. I thought…” She turned her hands upward in her lap, cupped, like an offering.

Whether Xi’mia was offering Yue this truth, or something bigger present her repentance was unclear.

“Maybe I was just… weak.”

But they weren’t different people and if her perspective was colored, Xi’mia had chosen the hue. It was Xi’mia, who stepped away first. It was Xi’mia who made Yue realize that it wasn’t a feeling she cared much for, to be left in the dust of the world, to be left alone in the dark, reaching endlessly for someone who would not reach out to you.

So Yue changed. And Yue learned to run first and to run far and to never stand still. She taught herself that love was stagnant water and freedom was the sea, carrying you, cradling you. Like a sinking ship desperate to stay afloat, Yue threw the unnecessary weight of her memories overboard.

If Xi’mia did not need her, Yue would not need Xi’mia. She would not be insubordinate, she would not yearn for impossible things. She would not be homesick. 

So she raised a single, mocking eyebrow at Xi’mia’s rant, as much affectionate as cutting. They had danced this dance many times. Like the ocean and the moon, always pushing and pulling, always distant. 

And then Xi’mia changed the game. Xi’mia shook and Yue crossed the distance between them in an instant, taking her friend’s offered hand, head tilted slightly to listen to her story.

All these years, she had carried this alone?

She gently cupped Xi’mia’s face in her free hand, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before leaning back and holding her gaze.

“No, chih, you weren’t weak. Never that. You were brave and strong enough to realize that life is not counted in days, but in heartbeats. You are the strongest person I know.” To carry this all alone, for so long. To take this burden and make it hers, share it with no one. Wasn’t that strength, according to the romantic tales? To suffer in grace.

“It is only the weak who are too afraid of the unknown to realize there are many things far worse than death.” No, death was mercy. Death was the only thing that made life worth it.

Just having too much time was enough to long for its sweet embrace.

“What happened then? I doubt he took to it kindly.”

[mccnshadow]

phelixmilrothar​:

…

Phelix blinked, myopic and calm, as he watched Yue fume.  She did a good job hiding it of course; her swathes of admirers and those who idolized her as a legend and unfallible could only see her perfection, her greatness.  That fleeting, human, temporary awe she wanted to bask in, because nothing else could fill her heart permanently.

Phelix did pity Yue, in a way.  Not that she needed it - perhaps she didn’t even deserve it.  But since leaving his tutelage, something had broken inside of her.  She seemed like an empty shell, filled with hopelessness and nothing and no one to guide her, when she broke ties with him. Not that Phelix thought he’d given her any specific guidance or was any ultimate teacher.  But at least with him, she’d shared in something to believe in.  She had an actual connection to another person.

All she had now, was sitting on top of her anarchic world, alone, and no one else allowed near.  Most others could never come near, even if she wanted them to.  Because if they did, perhaps they’d discover how little she had to offer, underneath that cocky, glittery veneer.

It was an attractive veneer, Phelix had to admit.  He could understand why so many became hypnotized under her charm, worshiped her as glorious and unstoppable.  She’d become one of the very gods she no longer believed in.  

“You could, you know,” Phelix said softly.  He felt compelled to offer, even though he knew she’d reject it.  But he had to offer regardless, every single time they met.  “You could return.  Not as my protege or anything like that.  You’ve grown beyond that, on your own.  I consider you a companion, an equal, in your own way.  But you could return to a purpose and design, if you wanted.”

Phelix lowered himself in a chair, to face her.  “You think you know better than everyone else in this world, but Yue - what if there is a chance, however slight, that there is indeed someone in this world, who does know better than you? Who knows more, who is more?  Does that idea not make you yearn to be a part of that?”

He wasn’t talking about himself, or even the gods.  Phelix abandoned the true Vae gods centuries ago.  But at least he believed in something; and he understood the sheer comfort in it.  He wished that conviction for Yue as well.  

. . .

Yue laughed, but this time it was soft, gentle, maybe even a hint of mellow. Gone was the amused sharpness, the cheerful dismissal, the brightness. 

He always offered. She wanted him to offer, time and again, because it was stable and it was familiar. To hold onto that little flicker that there would be a place she could belong. Someone who wait for her, even if just to use her. (In her most arrogant days, she even thought he wouldn’t. That even Phelix had some people he wanted by his side for the virtue of company.)

To return to purpose and design.

“No, I don’t think so,” she said gently.

Purpose and design were just illusions to make live bearable. To make waking up worth it. But she’d seen through the illusion, she’d seen the awful, awful truth. She had felt it and it had settled heavy and unbearably light in her bones, the weight of existence. The lightness of it. And once you saw, once you realized that everything was just a flicker in time, just a cycle, that the world would spin on endlessly, you couldn’t go back.

There was a point of no return and they had both crossed it, reaching for each other on opposites end of the river.  Close enough and forever separated. 

And she did wish, desperately so, to go back to the days were she believed she and Xi’mia would always be together. That their love and friendship could withstand the erosion of time. When she could believe in Phelix’s goals, where she could fill her days with purpose. When she had believed that love was immortal.

That is why she had joined the Order of the Moon and Sun, hoping to find eternal purpose. To see the balance and embrace it, to know she was a flicker in time and that was how it was supposed to be.

But she still felt lost. She still felt adrift on an ocean not even merciful enough to drown her. 

Yes, it would be better to live as Phelix. But it would be a lie.

She smiled brightly. “Phelix, I adore you. But you don’t know shit. Tell me, why do you hate them so much? The nobility, the humans, the dragons. What do you think you will change?”

[mccnshadow]

vaerilthreshar​:

“I was not, you’re correct in that observation but at least the sun is nice and I look pretty doing it,” he stated as he kept up with her strides. They’d crossed paths.. an uncountable amount of times, but he adored every moment of it

Vaeril was a man hellbent on balance, and moments like that? Moments like that kept the balance. Kept people in check. But men like him find knowledge hard to come by, and wisdom even harder. Today it would be his coinpurse, maybe tomorrow his wares would be raided, and disturbed. In a year, perhaps he’d lose any power he had over the docks, the power that went to his head, and his pockets. Not when that power could be used to help someone, anyone.“I have no doubt in that,” he told her, soft smile at his lips.

The older Vaeril got, the more he felt common kindness was hard to find. He didn’t question it with Yue, she’d seen enough of the world to see the dark and the light and didn’t let herself be steered away from her goal. Whatever that may be. 

“What does my queen’s stomach call for?” he questioned, “I need a good wine, something sweet like honey, and something freshly caught. And warm bread, you can never go wrong with warm bread.”

. . .

“Right you are, darling. I know just the place.” 

She led both to a surprisingly large building, that couldn’t quite decide what wanted to be: tavern, brothel, or a store. It was all these things and it was much more. It was the beating, living heart of the city, a place where decisions were made that would topple kingdoms. She entered the tavern, winking brightly at a man and tossing him her freshly stolen coin purse. Recognizing her, he led them both up a flight of stairs, through several doors and into a room that seemed to belong to a different building all together.

Nobility and mercenaries alike roamed these halls, talking in voices that were only ever heard behind closed doors.

“They asked me to bring my most interesting friend next time I paid a visit,” she started, before grinning, playfully. “Too bad I had to bring you instead.”

She sat down at a table on the balcony, overlooking the city, ordering food for them both.

“So, what have you been up to my, my dear?”

[mccnshadow]

under-the-elvish-sun​:

…

“Oh, of course.” Xi’mia fought the urge to smile sunnily up at Yue. That was always her instinct when Yue pulled away. Reach out desperately to pull her back, smiles, presents, promises of the easy days of their youth and expressions of admiration.

She felt all of that, deeply and truly. Yet, no matter how much affection she could pack into her expressions she did not give Yue the one thing her friend asked of her–unguarded honesty. That was not the way friends treated friends. The elf imagined after centuries she came across as cloying rather than endearing.

She held tight to Yue’s offered arm. Her face took on a more serious expression as she followed Yue into the hut. An expression that eased when she saw the tea warmed and waiting.

Somewhere far away now, and outside the Governess’ notice, the guards huffed on the docks. Glaring up as their charge disappeared from view.

“I’m glad to be unharmed. Not everyone with me was lucky.” She looked up at Yue, already feeling like she could burst. “I- Oh Yue I was going to make small talk but I can’t. There’s no point to it. I have to tell you. Tell you everything. I-” She swallowed sitting abruptly and talking a long breath. She felt as if she was shouting and these words would only be meant for one person to hear.

“What I’ve told everyone I’ve come here for, the advisors, merchant boards, anyone who’d care… Is that I’m going to offer you a permanent port working for me. Or, more correctly, Asfahal. Other regions have booming ports, and shipping, why shouldn’t we– I confess I was a bit pushy, but I wanted an excuse to see you again. More regularly- Like I used to. And you’re wildly good at seafaring, pirating, everyone knows that…” She worried her hands together, getting off track of what she really wanted to say. 

Xi’mia was doing what she always did, hiding behind responsibility. Driving a wedge between them again. When her friend had only just made an opening herself.

“But that’s not it. I’ve- I know why we’re not close, like we used to be. I’ve kept so much from you and I don’t know how you could ever forgive me for it.”

. . .

Yue grinned at the sheer speed with which Xi dropped her poised diplomatic demeanor when they guards could no longer see her. She tilted her head, gesturing for Xi to continues as she kicked back and listened to Xi ramble on.

Well.

“Ah, yes, I suppose bribery is always a good way to get into a pirate’s good graces again,” Yue laughed cheerfully. Dismissively, although there was no heat in her voice. Because that was what it sounded like. Like Xi could just buy her way back into her heart. What else did Yue care for, after all? Gold was her religion, a thing that only made sense when it moved, when it was given away.

She waved away Xi’mia’s concerns, laughing brightly. “Forgiving you would imply resentment. Resentment would imply a magnitude of unpleasant emotions I simply do not have the time for, mild offense intended. Got a sea to conquer and all that. So don’t you worry, chih.”

There was so much in Xi’s words, so much Yue didn’t want to face. The possibility of fixed stars. And then what? They’d drift away again. Xi was still Xi. She would still always choose duty and Yue would always choose freedom. It had never been a surprise they drifted apart, it had been a miracle they had stayed together as long as they had.

So she would return like a turtle to her place of birth. So she would migrate like a bird to remind herself what earth felt like. So she would be the ocean, forever pulled by the tide.

It was only a matter of time before Xi would drift away again. There would be a secret meeting, or a moral dilemma, or a choice she hated to make but had to and she would wield that distance like a weapon.

Yue had become really good at winning. She wasn’t going to start losing again. Never again. 

“You could tell me,” Yue suggested, partly to be petulant, because saying things like a joke was easier, because laughing away things was just a much nicer way to spend her time.

[mccnshadow]

phelixmilrothar​:

…

Phelix looked at Yue, incredulous for a brief moment before his face smoothed out again.  He’d almost forgotten himself; Yue didn’t know.  She didn’t realize what the rebellion was truly about and what it was building up towards.  She thought he just wanted to rule and hold dominion over others, like any of these current petty despots.  

So he just smiled benignly and nodded.  “It ultimately must be someone or someones in charge, after all.  Not everyone has or wants the luxury of being so free as you, my dear.  Freedom is the antithesis of security.  Your freedom relies on the obedience and word of honour, of those who follow you. That’s a type of security.  You merely operate on a significantly smaller scale.”

Phelix gave a half-shrug at Yue’s questioning.  “I didn’t summon you here.  I assumed you were bored and showed up not just to torment me, but also seeking your two gods: excitement and profit.”  He motioned towards the scroll.  “And I happen to have this on my desk to complete.  One could just call it fortuitous, Yue…”

He gave her a pained look.  “And please don’t call me that.”

Sighing, Phelix gave her an arch look.  “What are you hoping for?  Morality?  Justification?  The great and powerful Pirate Queen Jiang Ying Yue, so terrified of being cited for any cruelty or wrong-doing, so eager to prove to the small and weak that your high ground stands above all others who hold power…”  Phelix sipped his tea.  

“You know the lives of humans are fleeting.  You’ve caused suffering to innocent people, even as you try so hard to benefit only the good and weaken only the bad.  No such absolute pure action exists, Yue.  Haven’t I taught you anything?  Whatever you do, will hurt someone innocent in the end.  Righteousness is futile and will only bring you strife.  But being as they’re only humans, this task won’t really matter in your long run.  You will keep living as they keep overcoming and trying, suffering and dying.  Elves and dragons - we’re the ones whose lives truly matter and make a difference.”

He put his empty cup down.  “So make a difference for your dear little people beseeching their savior, or don’t.  I can find some other way to take this wretched creature down.”

. . .

The last thing Yue needed was a speech on the futility of morality and life. She knew. She understood. Even the Order she had dedicated the bigger portion of her life to seemed futile these days. Phelix was right. There was no real morality -- or at least, none inherent to life, to the passing of time. Time was just time. It just passed. That was all it ever did. It just meandered on endlessly and eternally.

Yue woke up every day with that dread. Knowing that there was nothing. No gods. No destiny. No power to guide you, to embrace you in certainty. The world was chaos. The world was nothing but the endless cycle of the moon disappearing into the dark and struggling it’s way back to wholeness.

She did not need the fucking lecture to understand. She didn’t need it from him, who used it only to mock her, who used their abundance of time as yet another perverse reason they were more worthy. What was five thousand years to eternity? They were just as much flickers in time as the humans. Even the dragons. They were all just here on borrowed time. 

If anything it made them complacent. So certain of all the time they could kill they forgot it could kill them too. 

At least humans died thinking they actually accomplished something. They died thinking the world would be as it was now, that their kingdoms and their titles would remain. She envied them for that sometimes. Having more time did not make elfs more superior. It just gave them more time to do terrible things. More time to be lost.

But he was right. Someone should be in charge. Someone should benefit. And his little patronizing performance had just made fucking sure it wouldn’t be him.

She yawned and stretched, before politely clasping her hands in her lap.

“Yes, teacher,” she deadpanned. “Is that all, teacher?”

[mccnshadow]

ainsleyashcraft​:

-

“What a shame. I thought I had a fighting chance here.” In reality, the use of her charms felt foreign to her now. The people of the East Reach were not endeared by it, nor the Ashcraft’s for that matter. Although the Captain kept a stiff upper lip, she heeded Avi’s words – she had a soft spot for a pretty face and a bright spirit. The glass lingers against her painted lips, mulling Yue’s words carefully. It stood to reason that she would advocate for Ainsley’s actions. It was to her benefit, after all.

But who cared of proper channels, when many ran the risk of going hungry? “Here, here,” she laughs, gleefully clinking her glass with Yue’s. Her smile remains intact, but she listens intently. Rumors of Yue’s politics often circulated both noble and common houses. The jury was still out; was she a hero, or a pillager? Ainsley supposed in her many lifetimes, it ceased to matter. Seventy five ships… Try as she might, she could not stop the twinkle in her eye. It was far beyond what Rajayer offered her, though she knew it was a blanket statement. Seventy-five ships did not guarantee seventy-five at her disposal. But it was a jumping off point.

“And your ships arrive quickly and discreetly, I am sure.” Ainsley places her glass on the wooden, flooring of her quarters. “As Elysians, we are duty bound to the Crown and her interests. And while the Crown is generous, it does not off set the growing cost of our harvest and its transportation.” Licking her lips, she mulls over the extent to which she could be forthcoming. After a brief pause, she reveals her true intent; “Your ships can ensure the safe and quick passage of our crop, to our more… Desperate partners. Some of whom, would be willing to pay a higher price.” It was never her intent to profit from the dire need of crop. But the people of the Reach could not work off duty alone. They needed to be compensated well, especially with the growing threats. “Tell me, then,” she leans forward, pressing her elbow against her knee and placing her chin atop her hand. “Would that be of your distinguished capabilities?”

. . .

“That they are,” Yue affirmed. She studied Lady Amaranthe as she seemed to debate with herself. She seemed the cautious, but not dishonest sort. Yue didn’t possess any empathic magic, but her time had made her a good judge of character. Dealing with bad characters would do that to you.

She didn’t try to suppress her smile at the transparent white lie, the diplomatic diss. Sure, the Crown was generous, just as generous as they had to be to keep order. Phelix wasn’t wrong, the system was a mess. But then all systems were and Yue thought it was a waste of all the lives and beautiful architecture that had to be burned in the path of revolution. 

“I assure you your goods will arrive, in a state as well as they would be handed to me. Will the ports be prepared to receive goods from me, or should I rely on my own connections? How often do you seek to deliver? Either way, distribution should prove little problem. People will get the food they need, I promise.” She winked brightly. “These damned pirates don’t seem to be that big a problem for me.”

She took a moment to let the words sink in, sipping from her drink, pouring them both another.

“Allow me to ask me now of your capabilities. I shall be blunt, keeping with my reputation. As I ask of any who deals with me: 5% of the cargo will be mine. Profits will be split evenly. And I will be informed about every meeting dealing with trade and your marine activities. I won’t ask you to give me a seat on the hearings, they bore me and would embarrass you, I’m sure, but me or a designated member of my crew will be informed.”

[mccnshadow]

caileanthewarrior​:

@mccnshadow​

“I never understood why you hung onto worthless trinkets. I doubt it’s to commemorate your glory. That would imply you had any at all.” Cailean beckons, the sound of the captain’s footsteps all but announcing her arrival. In her quarters, Cailean busied himself with inspection of her trinkets. In truth, they were a testimony to the pirate queen’s longstanding claim of the seas. From Northern wool to Loqoalan pillows, it boasted Captain Jiang Jing Yue’s formidable reputation. Although the dragonkin could admire such feats of strength, he kissed his teeth at the manner it was earned. Piracy was a dishonorable trade, and she epitomized it. All her glory was earned on the backs of theft and misdeeds.

He long drew the lines of his moral code, while Yue seemingly lingered in the grey areas of code. In their encounters throughout the centuries, they were often each other’s foil. The pirate queen and the warrior dragon, an almost mythic tale. But when whispers of rebellion trade found their way to Cailean’s ears, he knew no better than to ask the source. Many would have use for Elysian weaponry, but Yue had the fleet to pull it off.

“Although, these looks promising. Let me guess, torn off the neck of a noblewoman?” He gestures to a string of pearls, twirling it against his fingertips as he faces her. Grinning, he adds; “Apologies, am I not welcome in the captain’s quarters? Just because I climbed abroad, does not meet I am not a worthy guest.”

. . .

“Oh Cailean, it’s you. I almost had you mistaken for my crew,”  she said, leaning against the doorway as she gave him a grin, eyes twinkling with mischief. She knew no sentiment could ever piss him off more. He still held on tight to such silly boundaries, but Yue supposed that was just the way of having so much time. You’d either let it chain you, or you’d be free.

The longer you held onto something, the more awkward it became to let it go. She did know that. It’s why she stopped bothering holding onto things in the first place. In her weakest hours she’d lament it, feeling so floating, so adrift on a great sea that would never carry her home, but she would rather be a free breeze of sea air than a rock, only letting the waves crash. Never seeing. Never experiencing. She tried, for a while, the black and white of it. The good and the bad. The destiny, the grandeur, the glory. She even touched upon the immortality of love.

(And that’s how she learned -- that all fades, that there is nothing eternal in the heart, only the endless cycles of the sun and the moon, only the earth would remain.)

She laughed. “Absolutely. And this I ripped right out of her babies hands.” She gave him a cackle for good measure, playing up to the evil caractirature he wanted to see her as. He wouldn’t be the only one.

“My darling,” she drawled, walking past him and flopping down on one of the cushions theatrically, “you know I always encourage any and all sneaking into my bedroom.” She winked brightly, unabashed. 

“Do take a seat.” She reached into a cupboard, stretching out like a cat and taking out some rum and glasses, pouring them both a generous drink. “So, to what do I owe this grand honor?”

[mccnshadow]

seastolcn​:

    FINN  ACCEPTED  THE  FLASK  WORDLESSLY  ,  tipping  the  rum  back  and  thinking  over  yue’s  questions.  boredom  —  it  was  not  something  finn  had  ever  considered.  her  life  on  kalama  had  not  given  time  to  be  bored  ;  if  it  weren’t  her  training  ,  it  was  sailing.  and  if  it  wasn’t  sailing  ,  it  was  praying.  all  of  her  other  time  was  spent  worrying  about  how  she  would  spend  the  last  of  her  years.  

    “  perhaps  not  bored.  ”  finn  began  ,  passing  back  the  flask.  “  you  know  me  ,  i’m  entertained  by  a  shift  in  the  wind.  ”  her  smile  slipped  into  a  smirk  without  a  touch  of  spite.  “  but  i  understand  what  you  mean.  ”  

    her  hazel  eyes  found  the  blue  of  the  sea  again.  she  silently  asked  it  the  same  thing  yue  asked  her  and  it  gave  her  no  answer  ,  only  continued  in  its  gentle  movement.  

    “  i  do  not  trust  still  water.  ”  finn  stated  honestly.  still  water  was  only  waiting  to  be  churned  up.  “  we  may  be  too  good  but  that  will  not  last.  there  is  always  someone  waiting  to  take  what  we  have  earned.  they  may  already  be  on  their  way.  ”  she  looked  back  to  yue  ,  “  why  do  you  ask?  ”   

. . .

“Nothing does.”

Time wouldn’t allow it. It would take and take, the way a river took down the mountain, the way the wind would turn all to dust. All that is was nothing that would be. Yue hopped on the railing, balancing nonchalantly as the ship swayed.

Yue was not worried about that. This being taken from her. It would be, eventually. Another leader would be elected, her fleet would suffer a chain of disastrous losses, or perhaps even the world would grow into such a world where piracy simply no longer existed. Perhaps she’d grow bored with it and throw in the towel.

“If they are on their way,” Yue said, testing the edge of her balance by leaning back right before she would fall, her hands behind her head. “I sure hope they bring fireworks. And some wine.”

Yue shrugged, feather light, tilting her hand to reflect the sunlight off her large gemstone rings.

“I was offered a harbor,” she said, just as bright and casual and anything else, although she couldn't quite look down from the clouds, “in Vailien. A permanent port, for us. Very official.”

[mccnshadow]

under-the-elvish-sun​:

…

Yue’s entrance back in her life was miraculous. If a bit of a magical show-off.

The resounding rush of feeling for Xi’mia was enormous. Too many of them to distinguish from the other as laughter floated down from the deck, with considerable less grace than the wind-mage. All Xi’mia knew was that her ears burned red for just a moment before she broke out into a wide smile to meet her oldest friend.

“Yue!” Xi’mia beamed. Knowing full well in her heart that oldest friend did not mean her closest. No, that was something else her brothers actions and their accompanying secrets stole from her. Something else for which she would not forgive him.

“Captain of the Black Turtle, commander of a fleet, famed pirate of all the seas. You are the one to grace me with your presence, but please never Your Grace. I’m just one Lady, and to you please let me be Xi’mia. Let me always be your Xi’mia.” She rushed forward to meet Yue, complete earnesty in all her actions.

Her new guards, replacements for dear friends that would have never questioned her actions so blatantly, could only watch and hold their place. Staring on in bitter judgements as their Governess cavorted with pirates. They also made theri feeling clear enough, but not with giggles keeping their hands on their sheathed swords just in case.

. . .

Let me always be your Xi’mia. But Yue knew, there was no always and Xi’mia was not hers. Xi’mia was of the world, entangled in webs that kept her from reaching out, burdened and stale with reality, buried underneath the sands of time.

There was no always. Nothing last forever. 

But still she smiled, warmly, opening her arms to embrace the Governess, sending a mischievous, audacious wink to her guards as they tensed. She let Xi’mia go, pressing an affectionate kiss to her forehead and brushing her long, dark hair out of her face, more out of habit than feeling. 

(Even love would grow stale. Even love would lose its shine.)

“Come, xīngān,  let’s talk somewhere cozier.” She hooked her arm in Xi’mia’s and gave her guards a daunty finger wave, marching the Governess into her Captain’s hut. The small table for tea was already set, the tea still warm. Expecting guests.

Yue said nothing of this. Some things didn’t need to be said. Not between old friends.

(Not between them, she thought. There were many things left unsaid.)

“I’m glad to see you’re unharmed,” she said, because at least that she could say without hidden meanings. “I heard you were in Glasswater at the time of the attack.” 

I thought I lost you, she didn’t say. She couldn’t. It had such a vile thought, such a desperate feeling, to wonder if time had taken her too. To think even the pain of that would pass. She wouldn’t want it to. Between the two of them, they had often joked, it really should be Yue who goes first.

[mccnshadow]

ainsleyashcraft​:

“See, I was meaning to lead with that. But a self-made woman like yourself, did not strike me as the sort to revel in compliments regarding your appearances. Especially when your personal triumphs exceed them…” She pauses, eyes glazing up and down the pirate in acknowledgement. “Although in seeing you now, you truly are accomplished to have surpassed such beauty.” Ainsley’s words were like velvet, warm and appreciative of the woman before him. It was easy to judge her methods. But who was she to condemn, what she was now in need of?

“My peers mistake resourcefulness for sin. But I like to think I am more open-minded than that. In truth, though, my advisors and managers spoke against this clandestine meeting.” She exaggerates, a playful raised brow as she settles upon the lush pillows. It was almost haunting, as if being reminded of a time when she took comfort in Loqoalan traditions. Never the less, she shakes her head, smiling gratefully at the beverages set before her.

“Thank you,” she murmurs in acknowledgement. The mention of her husband prompts a subtle raise of the brow. A ghost of a cold smile lifted her features. “His spirit can go to hell.” Her tone is low, her voice soft… But there’s a darkness to her words, unlike any of the past. Yet she abandons the mood easily, leaning back against the pillows.

“As you know, the rebellion’s uprising has caused disruptions in both business and trade. We managed a healthy harvest this year, and through changes in our operating system, allowed great yield despite the loss in labor.” Ainsley sighs, swirling the beverage in her hand. “But our existing trade routes are not enough, nor are they effective enough to meet demand. Especially with our trade partners in the Midlands or in Loqoala. Tell me, how can your services resolve these?”

. . .

Yue laughed at the good-natured reply. “You will find, Lady Amaranthe, I revel in all compliments. Although I rarely let them cloud my judgement.” 

She shared an amused smirk with Ainsley. Yes, she could imagine. Humans drew such funny moral boundaries. High society would gladly poison each other’s tea and stab each other in the back without hesitation, as long as the poison was poured in porcelain cups and the daggers beset by jewels. As long  as they remembered the proper etiquette at the funeral. She understood its appeal: to justify the worst, to pour all the darkness in a heart into a careful set of rules. To be told so clearly: this is correct and this is wrong.

Yue could amuse herself with their rules, but she could not follow them. Simplicity. It was another thing that time had taken from her. Time had blurred all the black and white into a constant grey.

“Ah, such is the fate of those ahead peers. But rest assured, it was a mistake on their part, not yours.” 

She raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the lady’s lowly murmured word, but cheerfully changed her toast. That was perhaps a conversation for another time. “May he rot in hell.” 

She listened carefully and nodded, giving her a bright grin. “As I am certain your advisors and managers have told you as well: I am not bound by any allegiance. I go wherever I want. The seas are mine to command. I have some 75 ships under my command around the world. My coming and going bears no political burden, either, making it so that I can pass through many waters that might otherwise be risky.”

[mccnshadow]

phelixmilrothar​:

“Indeed,”  Phelix replied dryly.  He wasn’t being sarcastic, just bitter.  He refrained from saying that it was in part due to his tutelage of Yue, that got her to her place of power.  Where she could, as she said, have lesser beings sell their grandmothers for her attention.  

And what a waste that power was, now that she squandered it.  

He gave a delicate shrug at her correction, not caring one whit about silly Loqoalan lore.  They were a silly, suspicious group of humans, beholden to their tiny parcels of land and their boats.  

“On the contrary, my dear.  Since the attack on Glasswater, recruitment’s been on an all-time high.  The commonfolk are finally acknowledging that bending knee to all-powerful nobility is no longer necessary.  The nobles bleed and die, frail in their glass towers.”  He smiled, amused by his own pun.

Heading to his desk, Phelix rummaged through the stacks of paper.  All of them charmed with spells to prevent any passing, prying eyes to discern the contents of the documents.  Phelix wasn’t taking any chances in the Magaesterium.  Eventually, he found the scroll, and passed it to Yue. 

“Read it,” Phelix invited her.  Within, lay a collective claim from a united faction of sailors, citing a grievance against a certain member of the Loqoalan merchant navy  - specifically from Rajayer.  Underneath, was the royal decision that the sailors, despite their reasonable claim of mistreatment and cruetly from the merchant, were nevertheless branded mutinous.  The majority were jailed, the ringleaders set for execution.  The merchant remained untouched.

“If the merchant dies, the doomed sailors might have a chance at an appeal,”  Phelix said, tone cool as he sipped his tea.  “And we do hate seeing good, honest working folk die for only trying to do what is right. Don’t we.”

. . .

Yue didn’t argue that what he was doing was the same thing. That now their glass towers shook and in a thousand or so years, so would his. It was always like that. Destruction. Reconstruction. Deconstruction. It didn’t matter at all. So why make so many suffer over it?

“Much better to bend a knee to you, of course,” she supplied casually.

She cast a quick glance at his papers, but of course, he wouldn’t be so much fun if he hadn’t thought of that. It’d been worth a try. What else would she do with all her time? 

She took the scroll, reading it carefully. Yue couldn’t really say she had a very strong set of rules for when to meddle and when not to. The balance of the world was a tricky thing and it was not always clear. But sailors, especially, had been close to her heart for the last hundred years or so. She liked her reputation and she was curious to see how far she could expand it before it would crumble.

“I’m not your personal mercenary.” Yue shrugged, looking up. “What’s in it for you, PhePhe? Why this man? There are countless men abusing their power every minute of the day, so why bring this one in particular to my attention? The sailor connection is very on the nose, but you’re going to break my little heart if you thought I was gonna bite so easily.”

No, a man like Phelix did nothing without a thorough reason and Yue would not set off a chain of reactions that would lead to even men even more cruel grabbing more power. It was a thing you learned, living a thousand years: that it could almost always be worse and that the intention to do well didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things.

And Phelix, for as much as he claimed otherwise, did not always see to this. He had become so absorbed by his ideals and his ideas that everything outside of them had become irrelevant to this. A cruel man was acceptable to him, if it was a cruel man with the right allegiance. 

(It frightened Yue sometimes, more than she could say, as she thought that she might be one of the very few people who actually realized this. And that not many would listen.)

[mccnshadow]

vaerilthreshar​:

Now that was a sight for sore eyes if he had ever seen one. She’s not wrong, and he can’t help that joyful grin that cracked his lips. He drops down, sweeping her in to a hug. He’s crossed paths with her… an uncountable amount of times, but Vaeril never found himself bored with her presence. The crew knew what they were getting, a few nights in a bed and a full belly before they left to go on their next adventure. (Vae called it that, but the crew always knew that it was just him trying to open more trading routes.”

Affection was not something that was hard for him to show. He would, at any moment, and be unafraid. “My, my, if it isn’t the Pirate Queen herself. To what do I owe this pleasure?” 

. . .

“My boredom,” Yue grinned brightly. “Do come entertain me with stories of your adventures and exploits. You weren’t going to be any help here, anyway.”

She hooked her arm in his and whisked him away, giving his crew a playful finger wave as she shouted make him pay you more! over her shoulder, to the great cheers and laughter. 

As they navigated their way through the docks, Yue’s gaze fell on a red-faced merchant, snarling at a young boy so skinny the sailor uniform slipped from his shoulder, drowned him whole.

“That man,” she said icily, “has been driving up his prices since the attack. He hoarded a great deal of medicine for burn wounds. He’s recruiting families who lost everything and refuses to pay them properly.”

She laughed, a sound like a birds greeting the sun, a sound like a dagger pulled from its sheath. 

“But don’t you worry,” she whispered, as the gaze the merchant fell on them, gawking and mesmerized. She smiled sweetly, close enough to brush up against the man. A breeze from the harbor danced past them, strong enough to let the coin purse she just severed fall into her hands. She winked brightly and passed the man without a second though, tucking the fat coin purse into her robes.

“He will have a change of heart soon.” She would not let such cruelty go unanswered. Not now it could tip the scales. “But for now, the least he can do is pay some hard working folks for the dinner they’ll be making us.”

[cfensi]

[mccnshadow]

cfensi​:

Jing Tian by Liu Zongyuan

[mccnshadow]

ainsleyashcraft​:

@mccnshadow​

The last time Ainsley Ashcraft (no, it was Amaranthe now - thank the heavens) had the privilege of a captain’s private quarters, it was in her youth. On a Rajayen vessel, with its now-heir apparent by her side. There was some familiarity to the structure, yet the lady felt sorely out of place. She was neither a seafaring maven, nor a Loqoalan woman. Instead, she was an Elysian noblewoman who appeared as such - with an intricately designed dress in the hue of black. The mourning colors, meant to honor her dishonorable husband. But such sacrifices needed to be made. Since Alek’s departure from his seat in the East Reach, she was tasked to remedy their issues. By the God’s, the East Reach’s harvest was fruitful. But the growing cost of labor, the slowdown on trade, and the increased security among fleets made it impossible to land where it needed.

And so, she was here, in the quarters of the infamous pirate queen. A woman known only from childhood memory and folklore. Her guards remained at the helm of her ship, an agreement brokered through letters. Appearing frightened served no purpose. Ainsley was not looking for an enemy. No, she was looking for a partner. Trust needed to be extended, and so she let them await her reemergence. Catching sight of her entering her quarter, she cannot resist a smile. Rebellious woman always spoke to a part of herself that she never conquered. “The pirate queen,” Ainsley beholds in both reverence yet realistic distance. She was a criminal, a thief… Then again, was Ainsley not a treasonous woman who allowed her husband’s killer to escape? “You are often the subject of universal conversation. Stories of your adventures and conquests are legendary.”

. . .

“So are stories of your beauty, Lady Amaranthe,” Yue smiled warmly as she took in the noble woman in front of her, “but I must say they do not do the truth any justice.”

The Elysian Lady looked entirely out of place and she held herself with a grace that both acknowledged and defied it.

“You even managed to say the words “Pirate Queen” without a face like you swallowed a bad oyster. You are already more impressive than many of your peers.” A bright laugh escaped her lips.”Please, do call me Yue. Ceremony bores me, let’s not stand on it.”

Yue’s captain’s quarters were no palace or elaborate ballroom, but it was a place of business and negotiation just the same. The walls were decorated with trinkets and souvenirs from all across the lands -- rare dragons scales, Northland furs, all manner of statues and trinkets of a dozen different deities, even the wool of the Ashcrafts and magical artifacts from the magaestrium in Red Keep. It was as much a living quarter as it was a trophy room.

She gestured for Ainsley to sit down, taking her place opposite of her ladyship. In Loqoalan style, there were lavish cushions on the floor, a small table for tea and spirits between them. She poured Ainsley a cup of both, gently sliding them her way.

“I shall burn incense for your late husband tonight. May his spirit find peace and fortune.”

She raised her cup of tea and drank it, placing it back on the small table.

“But as regretful as it is, I understand you and I can prevent a great many of sharing his fate. You are in need of a supply line?”

[mccnshadow]

seastolcn​:

𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :  aboard  the  black  turtle

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒  :  for  JIANG  YING  YUE/  @mccnshadow​

     FINN  HAD  ABANDONED  HER  MAPS  BELOW  DECK  ,  tired  of  pouring  over  the  crisp  brown  sheets.  there  were  only  so  many  times  she  could  allow  her  eyes  to  drift  back  to  the  small  island  of  kalama  before  her  throat  tightened  ,  anxiety  threatening  to  take  her  body.  finn  knew  the  sea  air  would  help  calm  her  whirling  thoughts  and  topside  was  where  she  was  found  ,  leaning  over  the  side  of  the  black  turtle  ,  fingers  dancing  in  the  wind  and  willing  the  waves  to  swirl  and  crash  at  her  direction.      

     the  deck  was  busy  as  ever  but  there  was  a  certain  energy  in  the  air  ,  like  a  spark  alit  ,  that  finn  knew  meant  her  captain  was  close  by.  finn  left  the  sea  to  break  all  on  its  own  and  rose  to  lean  against  the  railing  ,  a  smile  already  spreading  across  her  tanned  face  to  greet  yue.  

     “  everything  in  order  ,  captain?  ”

. . .

"Oh, of course, xiǎo fèng,” Yue said distractedly, leaning over the railing next to Finn, watching the white foam splash against the ship. “The Turtle’s as always a tough girl.”

She lifted her eyes from the sea, smiling back at Finn in kind, before tipping her face to the sky. The clouds drifted by slowly, sparsely, endless blue between them. Open skies for a while, it seemed.

“Does this bore you, Finn?”

She laughed, as if it was a joke and took a swig from her flask, filled with the finest rum that could be found across the lands. She passed it to Finn automatically, without looking at her.

“Aren’t we becoming almost too good at this? No one’s challenging us anymore.”

[mccnshadow]

under-the-elvish-sun​:

@mccnshadow

The need to see Yue was painful. For Xi’mia it was like an ache that never went away, and after the months she had–the meetings, the travel, the trauma–that ache grew debilitating. She kept abreast of the Pirate exploits of her former right hand, how could she not. Yet, each attempt to reach out after their slow falling out had been stilted, truncated, and ineffective. All her fault Xi’mia knew, all because she was unable to do one thing.

When she saw Yue’s ship off the shores of Asfahal the Governess was adamant she’d trek out to meet her. Now, feet away from where Yue’s ship was docked, she and her small accompaniment of guards were making a bit of a scene.

“You may station yourselves here, but go no further. I’m going to speak to Yue alone.”

“But- My Lady,” Her tone, which was meant to convey the concrete finality of her orders, was obviously lost on them. “It’s dangerous. They’re pirates, liable to-”

“As I know you are new,” She cut him off. “I will forgive your disobedience this time. You don’t know Yue, you have no clue of our history. I am going to her now and I will speak to her alone.” She raised her voice loud enough anyone on deck might be able to hear.

Like a siren’s song, Ashafal always called her home. Like a siren’s song, the shores filled her with a beautiful dread, a beautiful longing for something that would drown her.

Ashafal was not her home. Not anymore. It was just another memory fading with time.

And still, against all better judgement, she dangled herself like bait on the shores. She listened as she heard the voice she had so missed, a smile on her lips at the familiar stern, gently scolding tone.

She watched Xi’mia approach, dropping herself from the crow’s nest she’d used to scout the harbor for her arrival. A small gush of wind cushioned her fall at the last second, her robes flaring up like dancing petals.

She made a show of bowing, the crew doing an awful job at hiding their snickers at her playful mocking.

“My dear governess, such an honor for you to grace us lowly pirates with your presence.”

She straightened again, holding out a hand so Xi’mia could follow, giving her a wink to show her mocking was in jest. It was not meant to mock her, and the sour look on the guards’ faces told Yue they knew exactly who was being laughed at.

“Come then, Your Grace, let us talk. Feel free to scream should I do anything unseemly.”

[mccnshadow]

phelixmilrothar​:

…

“And why should I tell you anything?” Phelix sniffed, looking like a parent wounded by the consistent carelessness of their child.  “How do I know you haven’t turned entirely against me and what I believe in, solely to impress some human or vasharr into your bed or onto that ship of yours?”

He poured the tea, slow and almost painstaking, before placing a cup beside Yue.  Phelix sipped his own ascetic beverage.  “Granted, I will admit you’ve never outright betrayed me.  Or the rebellion, for that matter.  Did you predict the attack on Glasswater attack, little one?  Or did it actually take the great ‘Dagger en Nutto’ - or whatever that primitive Loqoalan language calls it - by surprise?”

He expected Yue to claim the former, even if she had to lie to claim it.  But he still hoped she had actually been surprised. Perhaps not impressed; Phelix didn’t believe Yue was impressed about anything in the world, beyond herself and her ship.  But surprised would do. 

He gently swatted her off of his writing desk, motioning in a pleading way towards a chair that had just been sitting there all along, ignored by the pirate queen.  

“You might be able to do something for me, if you’re bored.  And I know you’re always bored.”

. . .

Yue gasped in mock offense, laughter bursting from her the implication. A gush of wind lifted her from the desk as she whirled around in the air, before sitting down in an exaggerated dainty pose.

“Puh-lease. All this” she saidas she gestured at herself. “And you think I need to talk about you to impress anyone? Shǎguā, I breathe and humans and vasharr alike would sell their grandmas for a chance to have my attention.”

She watched as he poured the drink, boredom glazing her eyes over. Still, she took a drink as it was offered. She shrugged easily -- what was the point of betraying him, when ultimately the rebellion would be nothing but a flicker in time. It would all crumble to dust and fade into myth. What was the point in investing the emotion and energy for betrayal?

“Daakre en Nutao,” she corrected him pointedly, even as she expected he pronounced it wrong on purpose. She shrugged again, a flighty, one-shouldered movement. “I expected you would do something like this soon. Heard you had some trouble finding people to join in your little band. Should improve your turnout. People so enjoy blaming the wrong party.”

She grinned again and somersaulted of the desk, hopping in place when he mentioned something to entertain her, still ignoring the chair.

“Ah, now you make sense. Tell me what I can help you with, Phelix-ge. You do always find the most interesting missions.”