All his young life, Jason was teased on the playground. The kids would inevitably ask, “So Jason, do you have an innie, or an outtie?” His face would turn bright red, his eyes would swell with tears, and he’d pull his shirt as far down as possible so they couldn’t lift it up on him, and he’d run away sobbing. It was torment. Until one day, years later, in high school, and after a bunch of Kyle XY episodes to help him get there, he decided enough was enough. Those same bullies still hung out together 10 years later, so Jason walked up to their little group at lunch time. One of them laughed and said, “If it isn’t little Jason No-Belly-Button. What’s the matter weirdo? Afraid of your stomach again?” Jason just stood their quietly. Then smiled. Then slowly pulled his shirt up to reveal the pancake goblin that protruded from his abdomen. The kids were mostly confused at first. But then the pancakes spoke: “No. But you should be,” and then began to maniacally laugh. They all ran as quick as they could, dropping their book bags and lunches, crying for years to come, haunted by the sight. Jason chuckled, pulled out a tiny bottle of syrup and fed his parasitic friend, and walked away satisfied. Revenge is a meal best served on the abs.
