For 21 months now, I have been with him. We haven't seen each other in 11 years and before that, we weren't even friends. He told me that he had just gotten out of a relationship and I was going through my own personal hell. When we started talking, I decided that there was no harm in being alone together. Since then, I told him that we were done at least five times. About nine months ago, I reconnected with someone I thought could work and put him on the back burner for a while. But I quickly ended that situation. The last time I told him that we were over, he clearly said he had no intentions of letting me go. I don't really know what to think about that. I mean, there is nothing traditional about what we have and I'm not sure if that's why I'm still holding on, or why I always want out. I've tried the conventional times and times again, never worked. This, what we have, isn't definable, it just is. I made the conscious decision to keep it, and keep him, not asking for anything more, not giving enough. If discussing a professional future, we are perfect for each other; on paper, we couldn't be better but in reality, we just don't make sense, and that's OK. I am not expecting or demanding anything more than what I am able to give, which isn't a lot. So, to be fair, I'll take it. This isn't me settling because I'm afraid to be alone; this is me giving up the fight for 'love' and 'happiness' because I now understand that just because you believe on something, wish, pray and fight for it, it doesn't mean it's meant for you.
yousharknotpass
origamiaround
areudirty
ellievsbear
amandla
