dancing with the devil

sami | they/them | slytherin | lesbian | 25 | i just rlly like the marauders and am rlly dumb| i follow from my main blog @diazpcm | buy me a coffee: ko-fi.com/mvnvgedmischief

[mckinnon-mp4]

it’s about time for a pinned post!

hi everyone! i’m sami! i’m 25 and i have loved the marauders for most of my life. i’ve been active in writing spaces on tumblr for like 12 years (cringe) and i’ve had this blog for about five. i figured it’s time for an introduction. formerly mvnvgedmischief, but i wanted to do more centering of lesbians on my blog considering i am much more interested in writing them

what i write:

most of the time i write wolfstar and dorlene content. i love all of the marauders, but character studies into sirius and remus have always been my bread and butter. i love the dynamic. that being said, i also cover friendships between our boys, family dynamics of the lupin and black/potter family, and i do write a fair few aus. recently i've been focused a LOT more on our lesbians, and i intend to keep it that way. dorlene and butchfemme tedromeda, my beloveds.

a bit about me:

i’m 25, i graduated from college in 2021. i went abroad to london in 2020. i have a full time job as a finance recruiter but i majored in religion after i dropped out of art school. i’m a lesbian, i have a butch gf who i love very very much. i read harry potter the first time as a kid, and i’ve loved them ever since. jkr blows!!!! anti terf!!!!

my shit:

all of the stuff i write should be tagged as #my shit.

where you can find me:

my personal blog is @diazepcm my ao3: account is sadgorl, and you totally can ask me for my discord

my most popular works:

unremarkable days

evergreen

bad luck

lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

shit i wrote on tumblr

buy me a cup of coffee:

ko-fi.com/mvnvgedmischief

[mckinnon-mp4]

just some ramblings from the unhinged or whatever. some non mwpp writing. cw for death.

i’m so tired of feeling the weight of making it out and i know it’s being compounded by the weight of knowing that so many people didn’t. so many people that i cared about are gone, so many are more intimately entrenched with the worms and the earth than they ever can be with me again. so many lost to the very demons that haunt me. it’s so odd to be a statistic, and no one prepares you for it. these people were my friends. we laughed together as we threw water balloons and sprayed shaving cream. we knew each others stuffed animals by name. we fought like kids do sometimes. we didn’t know that things would be like this— that one day i’d turn around and find myself looking back and remembering that 9 years ago i was having a break down in the restroom at my catholic school because i couldn’t understand why someone you didn’t know had put your name on the prayer list. i couldn’t understand why i didn’t just forgive– why i didn’t just reconcile. and i know it had nothing to do with me, because i know if it happened to me it wouldn’t have had anything to do with you. but now they’re all just statistics. numbers that remind me that we couldn’t all make it out. the scars of my past, of my home town, run as deep in the soil as they do in my chest. just like the earth has been permanently changed from where we carved our names, my chest has been permanently left cavernous. empty with the losses i’ve faced. empty with the ones i’ve watched. my sinuses remind me of the things we lost with their sensitivity and the way i’m prone to illness as the seasons change. my mind reminds me when it supplies lingering anxieties that all the people i love could just vanish— one day here, the next day gone. i hear people talking like they understand the people like us. but all we have ever been to them is a series of numbers, kids who should know better, adults who should pull themselves up by their boot straps. they won’t say it, but they resent us. seeing the consequences of all the ways we were failed. they hate to hear us talk about the lengths we’ve gone to just to feel okay. they hate to see us succeed and they hate to see us fail. and i know i don’t carry it all or carry it alone but the weight of it is crushing me today.

[mckinnon-mp4]

marlene mckinnon being a gender fuck butch is so iconic

ted tonks being a gender fuck butch is so iconic jkr would hate them

[mckinnon-mp4]

also divas: i think this context might be helpful in understanding why i’m having such a hard time deciding what im going to do.

i’m coming up on the 9 yr anniversary of the death of my friend

i’m coming up on the 6 yr anniversary of the death of one of my trans friends

i’m in the middle of a depressive episode i fear

my monster in laws were here last weekend and this weekend my sisters are coming to visit

coming up on my clean-iversary in so far as i’ve wanted to mark it

so anyways it’s tough to know what i want when there is simply so much going on. i think it’s especially important to consider the impact that continuing my presence here in this fandom has on jkr’s over all wealth and ability to hurt trans people, and on top of that, it’s really hard to want to engage in something that could potentially hurt trans people when im in this type of head space.

but i love talking to all of u about stuff so we’ll see what happens

[mckinnon-mp4]

guys remember that time i had a downward spiral bc someone wouldn’t stop referring to me as a “girl” and i had to be confronted with straight people who cannot respect lesbian gender

[mckinnon-mp4]

hi divas! lemme give u the update ig.

i want to finish my wips. i love them. i've put a lot of time into them.

i will continue to publish those as i finish them

i have no idea how we continue to engage in this fandom without also promoting jkr who is my enemy

i would love to continue to be a part of this community, i am just concerned about the prospect of perpetuating harm

so i guess all that to say the wips will be finished but idk what everything looks like going forward

also for those who are curious the depressive episode is depressive episoding

[mckinnon-mp4]

divas i’m having a depressive episode lmfao i haven’t come up with an answer to the question i posed to myself about how i want to continue. hope everyone’s doing ok!!!

[diazepcm]

hey divas butch came home and i cracked a beer and popped on three headed shark its a good day to be a butch femme couple who like sharks. also this is a psa 3 headed shark attack is TERRIBLE. not even fun terrible. just terrible.

[diazepcm]

MACHETE IS IN THIS!!

[diazepcm]

hey divas butch came home and i cracked a beer and popped on three headed shark its a good day to be a butch femme couple who like sharks. also this is a psa 3 headed shark attack is TERRIBLE. not even fun terrible. just terrible.

[feralfratrat]

just had a mental breakdown thinking about how the dinosaurs felt when they were dying

[mckinnon-mp4]

feeling controversial yet brave. mom jeans could write work song, but hozier absolutely could not write edward 40hands.

[pnkvmpr-hiatus-deactivated20240]

nonblack followers I would really challenge you to pay attention to what you find funny and why you find it funny when it comes to the use of AAVE in posts. if you think stuff like “yassss” and “it be like that sometimes” and “damn shawty” are funny like maybe ask yourself why that is, both when white people are saying it as a joke and when black people are saying it either as a joke or unironically.

[pnkvmpr-hiatus-deactivated20240]

not to be crass but like some of you need to confront the fact that you think black people talk funny

[mckinnon-mp4]

the situation in the us is becoming scarier to marginalized communities every day. currently on the house floor, our government is considering “decency” legislation, which puts an active target on queer people’s backs. the first raid since the 90s was conducted on a gay bar in pittsburgh. cops have been told systematically throughout the history of this country, to shoot now and ask questions later. they have been taught that they can do whatever they want to any person who is not white, and they can get away with the murder of black individuals. the aclu is currently tracking 575 anti-lgbtq laws. according to translegislation.com 886 bills have been proposed in 2025 alone, with 97 passing. it’s been 5 months. the tax bill that has just been introduced intends to raise taxes on individuals making under 15,000 per year by over 100% by 2031. over 150 anti homeless bills were passed before february 3rd of this year. ice is setting up outbound checkpoints. anything within 100 miles of any coast is beholden to their jurisdiction, and they are not responsible for following FOIA. this includes of the 10 largest cities in america. indigenous women are murdered at rates 10x higher than all other ethnicities. women are being phased out of voting eligibility via the SAVE act. if your stance on what’s happening in the us right now is anything other than compassion for those who are being impacted, harmed, and killed by what has been going on here, i am deeply concerned by your inability to understand that collective punishment is bad. you don’t have to care about us. you don’t have to care that people are dying here, that our government is removing any right we have to stop them, that they’re not even listening to the checks and balences that they’re supposed to rely on. checks that we were promised they WOULD rely on. the supreme court, who want to dismantle the right to privacy, voted 9-0 that the dept of immigrations and customs and homeland security must facilitate the return of kilmar abrego garcia, and he is still in el salvador, bucked by the executive branch. i cant think of anything that could make it okay for this to happen to people. this is a terrifying reality to live in.

[mckinnon-mp4]

i was probably the worst version of myself when i was in active addiction but some days things really make me wanna go full tweaker like ill scalp u and make ur mother cry if u piss me awf enough

[existennialmemes]

I am no longer explaining my chronic illnesses. I'm only ominously referencing them like I'm a fantasy realm NPC dropping plot hooks:

I am besieged by the affliction

The ritual was successful, but it has drained me. I need time to recuperate.

I can't do that, because of The Curse

Dark forces are conspiring within me. I must conserve my strength to battle them.

Unseen foes assault me. I cannot strike back with blows, but I can lessen their influence by consuming certain alchemical rites.

[mckinnon-mp4]

i just think it’s really cool and different and exciting to be unapologetic about lesbian gender. like yk what? for as much as being around straight people who are perceiving me in a way that’s different from what i want SUCKS it is so radical and cool to exist as an exclusively lesbian context. i love that my presentation and my gender can only truly be understood by other lesbians. i love that there is so much that we have. and that’s why i’m so focused on the lesbian marauders era characters. because i LOVE how special lesbians are.

[mckinnon-mp4]

lesbian first, lesbian second, lesbian third