truth is indisputable

All the writers keep writing what they "write" Somewhere another pretty vein just dies I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could S E E That you're the antidote to everything except for me

[avramisms-blog]

self-para;

                                      two kinds of death. 

                              “How do you measure the life of one person against the greater good?                                             Can it ever be the right thing to sacrifice an innocent person?                                                      And how do you know what the greater good really is?” 

                                                                                    ― Amy Engel, The Book of Ivy

Keep reading

[mcmillxn-blog]

drvalente:

Siena was nervously pacing back and forth along the hallway for a while when she saw Logan going through his notes looking relatively content with his work. She walked towards the half-open door and slowly pushed the door open. The room was gloomy while the sun started setting, Siena walked in barely noticed. As she got closer to the desk to see the reports of the day, Logan looked up to Siena, started talking calmly, seemingly proud of the progress. Siena’s lips slightly curled up, a spark of hope flared in her eyes. “Oh - this is…” she breathed out softly “Do you think this could be it?” Siena quickly walked over to the other side of the room, pulled a few drawers and took a folder from each. She swiftly turned around, walked over to Logan and placed the folders on his desk, her hands unsteady “They are all here.”

Her demeanor didn’t warrant his attention-- it rarely did, Siena did what he asked and was largely complacent, so worrying about what she did or thought. “Maybe. Maybe, I need to-- I almost have it,” he said distractedly as he re-read his notes. The faint sound of the folders being set on his desk registered a few seconds later than it should. Yes, yes this could be it. Dear God, this could be it. He could have done it-- This could be OVER and he could go back home, forget about this fucking town and every soul in it. The future could be a possibility again. Logan pulled the folders over and flipped through one, setting his other notes aside. “I’m missing something. They’re still-- The one in room six died, though that may be because of complications.” Meaning he was one of the ones who was awake for most of the abduction and NOT happy about it. Logan has a still-healing slice on his calf from a hidden knife. That didn’t matter-- he didn’t matter, not in the grand scheme of things. His death might, though. “Even if that’s the case, I’ll need you to assist in the autopsy. I want a look at his organs-- I need to know what it’s doing in there once they push past the first forty-eight.” 

[mcmillxn-blog]

@drvalente

“This is.. good,” Logan said (mostly to himself), as he re-read over his notes of the day. He looked up, Siena’s presence catching his eye. “I think I’ve almost done it. Find me the reports from my Phoenix runs, I need to compare some data before I jump the gun on this.” 

[mcmillxn-blog]

arosesxsweet:

‘Good’. Though the brave face Piper saw fit to put on in front of him only masked how polar opposite from good she internally felt, so perhaps he was right. Maybe it was better to be confused than hopeful. “Good,” she repeated with a slowly growing smile, shifting ever-so much into an upright position on her cot. It was a process that required more time, and energy, than usual - her limbs were heavy, and her mind thick, foggy. “Isn’t that a good sign, though? It means whatever you’re doing is working, somehow. I’d suggest celebrating, if I didn’t get the idea you might think it’s a little too soon for that,”

“It’s a sign. Time will tell if it’s good.” If he let himself get excited now, then something happened, it would just lead to more frustration. For all he knew, the few subjects that he still had were out of the frying pan and into the fire. Or, she could be right and they were out of the woods. Logan trusted the science to speak for itself later. He did make note of how long she was taking to move around, adjusting his notebook to actually note it. “Still tired? Trouble moving? I’m assuming the nausea has passed but-- Cold sweats? Fever?” Normally, he would check all of these things himself, but Piper was still... cooperative. Nice, even. 

[mcmillxn-blog]

@arosesxsweet

“-- How are we doing today? You’ve made it past what most don’t, so that’s... I would say good, but this isn’t-- I’m a little confused as to why.” 

[mcmillxn-blog]

arosesxsweet:

She’s staring at him, intently focused, as though Logan’s shedding an entire layer of skin right before her eyes. Peeling off, fraction by fraction, every single word passing his lips sending a frigid shudder down the length of her spine. The only coherent thought among a string of frantic, panicked exclamations of disbelief are that of denial. This is not the man she had met only a few days prior. It can’t be. And it’s astounding how immense the sheer volume of her insistence is, to the point where it can no longer be contained.

“What are you doing?” The words don’t come forth in an accusatory spat; rather, they’re gentle, genuinely perplexed, because she simply. doesn’t. understand. “What… is all of this–” She gestured with an inward curl of her fingers to the bound wrists, breath beginning to quicken with a stuttered inhale. She’s been perpetually pulling and pushing her wrist against the straps, all in vain of course, but without stopping. The idea of being constrained for so long settled as more than just an ache along her limbs. It’s panic, raising goosebumps across her skin, heat rising from the sore bruise formed on the back of her head, chest rising and falling unevenly against the valiant effort to keep whatever wits remain about her.

She eventually found the resolve to tear her eyes off of him, thanks mainly to a second dizzying spell blurring her vision. The world tilting on it’s axis around her, waves crashing down even when the air feels dryer than hell during the height of summer. It’s a warmth that suddenly turns cold as the pain bubbles to the surface, nearly radiating from the back of her head. The disturbing case of Logan’s body snatcher takes a back seat as her chest gives a violent shudder, the acidic taste of bile on her tongue before she finally heaves, belching out what little contents filled her stomach.

The action does anything but relieve her, however. Being confined to the chair, she attempted to swing her head to the side, even as the jerky movement increased her migraine ten fold. Coughing out a mouthful of saliva, she couldn’t bring herself to gaze back up towards Logan again. Not if she would see that same cold, calculating emptiness that made her shudder even worse than nausea inducing pain. “… S-someone… hit me in the head,” Whether it’s to answer his previous question, or in the hopes of some kind of sympathy, she continued, “I feel like I have a concussion. I don’t… I don’t know. I don’t know, I… where are we?”

Logan watches her vomit, spit up, and shift in the chair. He would clean up later, of course. This wasn’t the first time someone had made a mess in one of his rooms. Hitting her hadn’t been his preferred method but it was the only one that presented itself as viable. No, hitting her had just made this complicated, because now he had to keep up with a head injury and care for THAT before he could administer any of his trials. It jeopardized the results, which were why he was doing all of this in the first place. That, and it did cause a muffled pang of sympathy toward her. Really, this was all so unfortunate. But, he couldn’t follow that train of thought. No, that was a dangerous path he could not venture down. Getting to know her at all was bad enough. “Nausea, concussed. Note to self, monitor closely for the next few hours. Are you thirsty?” 

He doesn’t answer her questions. Doesn’t look at her, instead bustling over to her restraints to check them again. Her fidgeting was making him paranoid-- just enough that he had to reassure himself there was no threat. It wouldn’t be the first time a subject has tried to distract him then swung with a hand he hadn’t noticed being freed. It wasn’t like she’d do much damage, but the fighting always made him sick to his stomach. 

After the reassurance that she was secure, he side stepped her sick and went behind the chair to examine the back of her head. Logan had done the best with the limited time allowed to clean the injury, but he felt it deserved some more attention. “I’m going to explain a few things. One-- If you fight or yell, you’ll just be making everything more difficult for yourself. I don’t want to have to restrain you anymore than you already are, but I will and have before. Two-- If you don’t answer my questions, there’s nothing I can do to help you. Any change at all, I want you to tell me about it. Even if it doesn’t seem significant, it is.” 

A pause, the briefest hesitation before he is backing up and digging through his pockets. Fingers curl around a Sharpie which he uncaps. He marks on the back of his hand, the felt tip leaving thick black stripes. Good to know that still worked. “...You’re in a lab.” A de-facto lab. A pathetic excuse for one, the best he could do. He didn’t know why he told her that, though. It wasn’t important. She didn’t need to know-- she didn’t need to know anything, really. “Are you following me? Any cognitive trouble? Blurred vision, ringing in your ears, numbness in your hands or feet?”

[mcmillxn-blog]

eleanorscully:

Ella stopped with a long sigh. So much for not being spotted. She kept a hand on one of the knives in her block and approached him, adjusting her backpack on her arm. “Okay, okay.. just don’t get us killed. Where do you need to go?”

Huh. That went far easier than he’d anticipated. “Finally, someone stops when I yell at them. I need directions to auto repair shops in the immediate vicinity.”

[mcmillxn-blog]

“We could run away together.” c: - Piper

@arosesxsweet

“Piper–” And now she wasn’t a subject, for a fucking second he looked at her like a person again and tried to understand exactly was going through her head. She was a person. A scared, desperate person. A hurting person. “I’m…” Sorry? He was. He was so sorry, because this was seeming more and more like the last-ditch effort of a madman than a genuine effort to SAVE EVERYONE. He knew it wouldn’t be easy when he started on this path. Initially, the decision to start experimenting was the hardest he’d ever made. 

No, Logan didn’t doubt that he was going to lose some part of himself. He had a routine now, one that was almost EASY to perform. He noticed the change in himself– the slip from ‘help’ to ‘note’ when things when wrong with the subjects. He noticed how much easier it was to call them ‘the subjects’. Running away? God, running away from what he’s done and what he’d have to be was a thought so alien that he’d never even conceived it before. It had never been an option, even when he was with his girls. When they were huddled in the cab of the truck, his instinct had never been RUN. It was protect, it was fight, it was think. Save.  Logan was a man of science and a man of action. As a man of science he knew that this? What they were dealing with? Inescapable, consuming, and fast. Faster than anyone could ever run. As a man of action? This was all he could do. 

If he lingered on his doubt, then his purpose would get lost in the midst. 

“You don’t understand. I think you do sometimes, but you don’t. I can’t run away from this. You can’t run away from this. This is all around us. This is inescapable.” He pushed a shaky hand into his hair. Things weren’t going on track. The experiments weren’t– they weren’t going right. His hypotheses were all being screwed, the results instead falling short or shooting over his base predictions. All he had were ideas and concepts, and a few like Piper who were making it past the first twenty-four hours. Voice taught, temper flaring, “You don’t get it. You’re not going to get it. That’s… okay. I know this seems crazy. I understand that, believe me, but this is how I can fix this. Can you imagine that? You… and everyone else… you’ll be remembered. You will. And if, years from now, they look back on my methods as monstrous, then…. Then I’d take that. They’ll be alive to think that.” And that was that. 

He could be a mad scientist. A dark period in their era, a blotch in the history books– because there would be history books thanks to him. If he could fix this, and he would fix this, then humanity would rebuild. It would come back, and his family would have a future. Other families could have futures because he KNEW he could fix this. Right all the mistakes. Sighing, he reigned in anything else he was preparing to say. Eyes cast aside, fixed on the clipboard, he continued. He moved, was halfway to the door, then turned around. 

“… I’ll be back. You need to at least try to rest, sleep deprivation is just going to make fighting it off harder. Your immune system is struggling as it is. Your dosages are a bit altered, it’s something I’m working on. When I’m back, I’ll go over your vitals. If the fever doesn’t break, well… I have to check on the others.” 

[mcmillxn-blog]

arosesxsweet:

The room is nearly silent. If you can technically refer to it as a “room”, though it bears little resemblance to any location suited for housing any living creature comfortably. She doesn’t realize any of this, let alone anything pertaining to her surroundings, how high the sun is beyond the confines of the walls entrapping her. In fact, she’s less aware of the goings on around herself than she can recall ever being in her entire life. The few certainties are a dull ache surrounding the rear of her skull, and the startling yet unmistakable, piercing scent of antiseptic.

There’s a sluggish delay in her movements, especially in jerking her head upright from it’s lolled position. A bag of wet cement feels as though it’s taken house where her brain should reside, and when she parts her lips, it’s Velcro scraping across sun parched cotton. The instinctive action to drag her fingers down her face is halted by a forceful tug on her wrists. Blinking, she glances through bleary vision at the restraints binding her wrists, binding her ankles, to a… chair?

Everything seems to be running in slow motion, but realization begins to gradually sink in. She’s binged too many nights of Criminal Minds not to get at least an inkling of what’s happened. What’s happening… What’s going to happen next.

Though the horror takes a backseat when a wave of nausea hits her, head dipping forward as she croaks out a whimper. The throbbing near the back of her skull is still fresh, and not likely going away any time soon. She can’t even recall when it happened, barely able to recollect the events leading up to somehow being kidnapped. There were a few images: night falling over the abandoned building she had settled into, going over the supplies in her bag, soft, hushed words exchanged with–

“Logan!” She can’t scream properly, voice scraping across the dry expanse of her throat. But that doesn’t stop her - whoever did this wouldn’t leave them both, right? She struggled against the restraints fiercely now, ignoring the sting as they dug into her skin. He had to be here. Not unless they had… Oh, God.

“Logan–!!!”

He shouldn’t have ever actually talked to Piper, Logan thought as he watched the small kitten he’d taken with him struggle in the scarf it was bundled in. He didn’t have a crate for the little thing, so he’d emptied a box and now, looking at the cat, he realized how sad that was. The little runt, wrapped tightly in cloth, and so alone because it wasn’t as though Logan was going to give it the affection it needed. Sighing, he dipped a hand into the box, gently brushing his fingers over the little one’s scruffy tufts of fur. “What am I going to do with you? If I throw you out, you’ll die.” 

But that was nature. The cat served no purpose to him. It just made a part of him ache, in that guilty fashion that reminders usually did. It would only hinder his work. “I should throw you out. You’ll just be something else to take care of. I have enough to deal with.” The cat didn’t argue, just mewled. “I have work I should be doing right now. You’re just making my day harder, you know.” No response. Of course, he was talking to a kitten. Sitting back, Logan pushed his palm against his temple. 

“I should just kill you, honestly. I can make it painless, you wouldn’t feel a thing. It’d be humane. Who knows what kind of diseases you have, or will get. And you’ll only live, what, thirteen years? If that, in this environment.” Again, conversing with a cat. It had something to do with the latest subject. She’d picked a crack into his resolve. It simply wouldn’t do, not a single bit. 

Since the devil had been mentioned, there was shouting--- shouting for HIM more specifically. The little runt meowed, and Logan set the lid of the box atop of it. “I’ll talk to you later, don’t go anywhere.” He only just remembered to grab his notebook on the way past his desk. 

With quick steps, he made his way past rooms where the groans of the dead were faint behind the wood. They were going to get excited, then he’d have to settle them down somehow and once they got excited that was almost impossible. They were docile, stupid things when they weren’t presented with any stimulus. All they did was stare, chests rising for no reason other than bodily habit, he suspected. They were almost entirely reactionary in nature, and Piper was giving them reason to react.

No... She may be calling his name, but he wouldn’t call hers. 

Her door was marked with a green sticky note. The system was well organized: green for go (the uninfected, recent additions), yellow for caution (those who were undergoing the first administrations), and red for danger (the dead, who he had to dispose of-- or autopsy). Pulling the door open, he didn’t let his gaze fall immediately on her. he just closed the door behind him with a click, hand blindly grabbing for a control he knew was there. With the press of a button, lights flickered to life. They were built in by himself, early in the days of readying this facility. 

“-- I’m going to have to ask you to keep it down. If you can’t, you can and will be sedated. Do you understand?” Finally, Logan looked at her. For confirmation. And only that. Then, regardless of her answer, he went back to busying himself around the room. Nothing was out of order, she had just been yelling. He knew that. He’d checked the restraints three times. Quadruple checked the room itself before. He knew how to do this, this wasn’t NEW. Making his way to a corner, he pulled the small recording device used for notes from his pants pocket. Pressed record, saw the little red light, and slipped it into his coat pocket. “Subject zero-eleven, female, has regained consciousness at--” he pushed his sleeve up to look at his watch. “Five thirty-three. How are we feeling right now? Scale from one to ten.”

[mcmillxn-blog]

corlecnis:

“The pet store?” Elizabeth eyed the man in front of her curiously. It was a welcoming change to meet someone who didn’t want to kill or threaten her. “I can bring you there, but what on earth do you need from a pet store?” 

“Leashes. Dog food.” He didn’t fidget, didn’t twitch. Logan could lie. It wasn’t difficult. “I know it doesn’t sound urgent, but I have four strays waiting for me and they’re not patient. At all.” No, that was just him. 

[mcmillxn-blog]

arosesxsweet:

Runt. Her eyes seemed to frost over at the term, solidifying into hard, jagged, absinthe crystal. “That’s no excuse for leaving an innocent behind. Even if she would have died - the least they could have done was let them be with someone who cared,” A gruff sigh puffed past her nostrils, jaw clenched, “I just- I really… People like that really get me. I mean they really get me. Ugh!” She would have unintentionally added more theatrics were it not for the bundle in her grasp. The reason she felt so strongly in this moment. Just as soon as it had come over her, the ice began to melt, tenderness reflected in her gaze. “That’s true. I really hope they are - maybe I’ll stick behind a little longer, just to make sure they don’t miss her…” If that were the case, they would still receive a stern talking to about proper cat-care. But that was for a future time; hopefully the near one. “Mm, maybe around… six? I kind of lost count after the first few, and, while there have been a few ‘territorial’ sorts, for the most part they’ve been friendly. One even shared some fruit with me! Oh, by the way, ya’ hungry? Here,” Dipping into her satchel, Piper pulled out a lumpy cloth of said fruit, tied together with faded shoe strings, and thrust it towards the man with a large grin. “As a gesture of good will, and to show!… that not everybody in this world is just looking out for themselves. There are still good people out there - even the ones who might not seem like it at first,” She couldn’t stem a gasp from leaving her at the mention of what he’d left behind, and certainly couldn’t stop herself from curling her fingers gently around his own. “Hey, look at it this way. You have some definite good news to bring back to her now - you’ve found some place relatively safe and, well, that’s more than one can expect now-a-days right?” Her grip tightened in a brief squeeze before releasing his hand. “Oh, sometimes your own company can be the very best! I always used to talk to myself back in the garden, or to my plants– did you know they really do respond well to music, too? Then again I could probably chew your ear off about that kind of thing - er, no dark pun intended,” A melodic laughter followed her words, fingers adjusting the strap on her satchel. “So what did you do back in Phoenix?”

“I assume you’ll give them hell? Feline or human?” he asked, brow raised. Yes, he suspected she was very likely to give anyone hell for the offense of leaving a kitten. Did he understand it? No, not at all. He was also the man who told his wife they couldn’t keep the dog anymore because it barked all night. Clearly, he deserved a tongue-lashing as well. “I’m sure the kitten is in better hands now, anyway.” Though, he didn’t know how she’d keep a cat through all of this... They weren’t very loyal animals. “Oh? Fruit?” Then there was a frumpy looking cloth shoved at him, and honestly no one ever prepared Logan for any of this. He couldn’t help but looked pleasantly baffled. Cautiously, he pulled the strings until they gave to reveal the fruit hidden in the fabric. “Prickly pear?” he questioned softly, lifting one out and maneuvering the rest so they didn’t fall. “Huh. Someone was prepared.” He turned it over, held the fruit up to the light of the sun. “I wouldn’t have thought... Not too shabby. The little pricks are even gone.” He set the fruit back in the little cloth and folded it back up. A note was made to take a few for later. 

“She’s actually no longer with us.” He didn’t let the confession sit bitterly on his tongue, instead saying it like a gentle aside. A reminder that the woman wouldn’t be aware of. In a sense, he was reminding himself. Logan watched her fingers wrap around his, the small digits somehow in stark contrast with his hand. Then again, that was likely his own perspective. When she pulled back, he gave her a tender smile. “Yeah, actually. My daughter did a project on it in the fourth grade. She was... Very, very determined to get an A. I think I heard her presentation about a hundred times. Her sister had a melt down when we had to use her glitter glue to put the board together. Did your plants prefer heavy metal or ballet? Perhaps smooth jazz?” God, how long had it been since he’d joked around with someone? Even before, Diane traveled for work relentlessly. His brother was in Texas, both of them too focused on their respective fields. Besides small talk with his co-workers, he’d only ever had his girls to talk to. His naive little girls, who were safe in Phoenix. Would remain safe in Phoenix. There wasn’t a chance in hell he was going to risk them in Scottsdale-- he didn’t know why he was risking them now, bringing them up with a stranger. 

However, this woman had an easy laugh, an easy sense of self. In a different life, maybe he could have made a friend. Maybe. “Dark pun not taken. I’m used to talkativeness.” 

“I was a leading pathologist for the Arizona Department of Health. I was working when all of this started.” His sentences became more clipped, frustration obvious in his tone. With a sigh, he turned his head from her. She was going to get him in some sort of trouble, he could feel it in his bones. Logan wasn’t here to make friends. He was here to fix everything. “They... They gave up. We were one of their only hopes and they just called. Said ‘we’ve done all we can’. If we only had-- You know, if we only had a few more weeks... If they just gave us a goddamn chance, we wouldn’t--” No, he needed to stop. That was before. Now, he had this in his own hands and he WOULD fix this. He owed Diane that. He owed his girls that. He owed this woman that. They were the people he was doing this for. Even if they died in the process. Which... now that he’d told her, he realized with a good dose of guilt, she’d probably have to go back with him. “It’s a... a bit of a sore spot.” 

[bwboysgallery-deactivated202007]

‘’The Kids Are All Right" Press Conference

[justinripley]

[mcmillxn-blog]

arosesxsweet:

Piper wasn’t so easily convinced. “It’s not impossible. Maybe they were sleeping there and just forgot to pick her up when they moved on - like, Home Alone but with cats!” Although equally humorous as it was unlikely, the idea that anyone would leave behind such an innocent immediately stirred the caretaker inside of Piper to action. Maybe someone else had seen the kitten as a burden, or unwanted, but not any longer. “Yep. I’ve met a few people along the way, but no one I’ve really felt the need to stick around. Besides, I’ve been doing alright on my own so far,” Her chest puffed out with pride at that fact; she wasn’t practiced in any type of combat, but she was fast and knew how to keep herself hidden. Those skills were valuable alone. “That makes sense. I figured more populated areas like those would be the first to fall,” A hopeful smile appeared, “At least you made it out, right?” Granted, Piper wasn’t positive on what benefits Scottsdale offered besides less populace, but if he felt better about being here, she wouldn’t dampen his spirits. “Besides having someone to talk to? Nothing, really. It’s just the loneliness that gets to you after a while. If you hadn’t noticed, the undead aren’t really great with in depth conversation,”

“She could be a runt. If she’s a runt, then it was probably intentional,” he said it so plainly-- but, Logan did remember what it was like to talk to his little girls. Remembered how the truth wasn’t the best. “But, you might just be right. Her family might be looking for her.” Though, no, they probably weren’t. He didn’t need to give a kitten much more thought. “How many? How were they doing? From what I can tell, people are getting very... territorial. They don’t like to talk very much. And when they do, it usually doesn’t last very long.” Then again, most of them were families. He didn’t like hanging around families. He knew he’d need subjects in Scottsdale, but he couldn’t tear apart a family. Not when his mother and daughters were already waiting for him in Phoenix. “I worked in Phoenix for almost two decades. I met my wife there. So, it was a little sad to see it in the rear view mirror but... You’re exactly right.” The smile he gave was more of an ‘elevator ride’ smile. But, she was company. More company than he’d had in a while. The smile got a bit more genuine as she went on. “No, you’re right. They aren’t. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to someone else. It’s nice. Though, i do talk to myself quite a bit so I haven’t been too lonely.” 

[mcmillxn-blog]

teodcr:

        “ I’M NOT FROM AROUND HERE, but i’m happy to help as much as i can if you stop shouting. ” his accent hinted at the fact that he wasn’t even from the country, but, well – he’d do anything to shut the man up. 

“... Oh. I assumed you were-- Well, I must look like quite the ass. It’s been a short few days. My friend and I had a fight now I’m quite directionless.” Which was a boldfaced LIE, but he said it with a huff like he was truly off put by the predicament. 

[mcmillxn-blog]

corlecnis:

    “Yes I’ll help you, okay? But do us a favor and shut your cake hole, please. Or else I’ll do it for you.”

“The threat is understandable, but I have your attention now don’t I? I need to know where the nearest pet store is. And if there’s a chance it’ll be mostly in tact.”

[mcmillxn-blog]

tessc:

      “ okay ! calm down and lower your voice. there is no need for the THREATS. you can just ask kindly, you know ? “

“Thank you.” Yelling wasn’t his first choice, but he’d been in a sour mood ever since the first test went so poorly. He’d had to put down six infected-- perfectly good subjects, save for their inability to react to stimulants. “I’ve had... a trying day. I forgot my manners.”