Rick's Don't Care

Independent, Selective muse for Evil Morty in Adult Swims' Rick and Morty. Adored by Ben. Read rules before interacting. Icon by alan708090

[mcrtimersmith]

deadtastic

Kenny does his best to read Mortimer’s body language before approaching. He could feel the tension in the air between them. He’s impressed with Mortimer’s composure in this situation; IT’S HOT. Mortimer is someone who can handle Kenny’s darkness and doesn’t cause Kenny to spiral into insecurities. 

       “Better call all your SIDE BITCHES and tell ‘em the news.” He chuckles and attempts to tease Mortimer to lighten the mood. Also, there was the chance Kenny could literally bite his competition’s head off. “C’mere…”

“What kinda TAIL do you think I’m getting?” Trick question. NONE. He doesn’t care about any of that stuff. And he doesn’t move for a little longer, even as Kenny beckons him closer. You want him closer? WORK FOR IT.

It doesn’t help lighten the mood. Mortimer can’t remember the last time he had a strong emotional...well...ATTACHMENT like this. If it even happened to him before. HE DOESN’T LIKE it. Well, he does but he doesn’t. 

“...What....what do we DO?”

[aurorakhaotung]

“I think you will find someone like that.”

[cvtthing]

❤ @mcrtimersmith ❤

[mcrtimersmith]

anonymous said: One of his enemies attempts to kidnap some of the kids for ransom and just ends up calling him begging him to take them back because they destroyed everything

“As a treat. The kids can stay longer. And make said kidnapper SUFFER.”

[mcrtimersmith]

mortimer sitting among the wreckage his adopted kids wrought: doesn’t change the fact that I’d die for them

[spider-hole-deactivated20150703]

coffee has water in it I’m doing fine

[mcrtimersmith]

evil morty??? nah nah at this point he’s dad morty

[mcrtimersmith]

rico: how many kids have you adopted now?

Mortimer: dunno. I stopped counting after I hit 50

[multi-park]

@mcrtimersmith

[merinsel]

Sebastian Stan’s knife trick.

[nomuzawa]

i’m sending a message of feathers and bone
 just let me know i’m not forgotten out here, alone (far from home (the raven) - Sam Tinnesz)

Series: Vax’ildan | Vex’ahlia | Keyleth | Percival | Pike | Scanlan | Grog | Taryon

- - - > Prints Available! <3

[mcrtimersmith]

Asshole evil granpa here to steal all your corn chips and make emotionless servants of children through nefarious means. 

beat!!! HIM!!!! UP!!!!!

[mcrtimersmith]

anonymous said: Bring evil grandpa’s bitchass over here I just wanna talk 🔪

“Well, grandpa bitchass is DEAD so I mean if you wanna stab a CORPSE be my guest. It’s not nearly as fun as when they’re alive. TRUST ME.”

[mcrtimersmith]

Asshole evil granpa here to steal all your corn chips and make emotionless servants of children through nefarious means. 

beat!!! HIM!!!! UP!!!!!

[mcrtimersmith]

councilman rick: and now, to update you on all the recent changes to the citadel, mortimer smith, the world’s biggest shitlicker, will be speaking about it now.

mortimer: thanks guy who literally delayed this entire meeting because your makeup couldn’t cover up the mistake that is your face. Right now, morty town is doing better than rick city because this shitlord ruined it all for you.

[mcrtimersmith]

hey uh im not lyin here but mortimer has definitely torn someone’s throat out with his teeth before

[mcrtimersmith]

irrevcrcntli​

Rick knew better than to take the shot. One try and one of the guards could easily shoot him down and it would all be over. He hated this, but he found himself with no other choice. He wasn’t going to risk it all for 40% of surviving. 

He lowered his gun and slowly – reluctantly – he put the gun away into his coat. As he grabbed his collar and whispered something, he set it down and looked directly at Mortimer. 

“Fine,” He sighed. “But leave your minions here, if you’re worried about me shooting you, like I said – only after I kill your minions, I’ll come after you, leave them behind and I won’t kill you.” 

The gun is put away and that only makes Mortimer’s ego be FUELED. But he smothers it under the cold, pressing WEIGHT of his situation. Rick has a RULE to head off with Mortimer and, with a hand lowered to his side, closest to where HE kept his own weapon, invites Rick back THROUGH the portal where his guards have come from.

“It’s a DEAL. Try anything and I’ll rip your goddamn THROAT OUT.”

[mcrtimersmith]

deadtastic

Oh… 

OH…. OH SHIT.

Kenny doesn’t expect that answer he got. Why should he? Kenny assumes they are friends with hi-key benefits. –And, he wasn’t about to start fucking complaining.

“I thought you only kept me around because ‘m suuuuper hot and funny.” Why is he like this? This is a MOMENT. “I mean– I love you, too, Mortimer. UHH– you don’t have to feel the same now. Whatever we have goin’ on doesn’t gotta change.” Fuck…. He wants to jump into the void to overcome his current awkwardness. 

“Bottom line; I ain’t leavin’ and I love you.”

He HUMS, leaning forward where he stands. At Kenny’s proclamation, Mortimer does not say anything, far too UNUSED to such words. So Mortimer lets the silence drown out the room, slowly SUFFOCATING the both of them. Or it could JUST be the President. Heart to hearts have never been his forte. 

The LOOK on Mortimer’s face says it all.

“...Love you too.” Words said only JUST above a whisper.