cw: a tiny bit implied angst, fluffy sex/fingering, light manhandling, praise, size difference, riding, gn!reader
it wasn't often that Erwin had you in his office, not because you had pulled negative attention to yourself. you were usually one of the better scouts, especially considering that you were pretty much fresh out of training, this was more than surprising to him - then again he had been watching you the past few days. he had seen the slow buildup; the bottled up feelings and words that were bitten back because you didnt want to be put in your place over something small that you thought would blow over anyway - thats how you usually were, quiet, peaceful and obedient, mostly. and yet here you were, personally delivered by Levi after he pulled Olou away from you. you were listening quietly while he had described what happened during the training session, erwin had listened silently and sent him off with a quiet thank you, his face not showing what he was thinking about this whole situation.
"..would you like to explain yourself?" his voice was calm, even, carrying the typical hint of leadership that he carried wherever he went. his eyes met yours when you looked up, he didn't even remotely look angry or disappointed, just curious to hear your side of things. he knew levi wouldnt lie about what happened, but he knew that you likely wanted to tell the whole story, and not just what the captain saw. "go on." he encouraged with a soft nod, pushing but not pressuing you.
"...he was provoking me." you finally said through gritted teeth, the lump in your throat making it hard to keep your voice even. "I didnt push him for no reason." Erwin nodded slowly.
"I didnt think you would. youre smarter than that." the subtle praise didnt go unnoticed, easing some of the anxiety that was brooding in your chest. "its still not like you to get physical. i know youre a bit of a... loudmouth, but we never had any complaints about you getting violent." his tone wasnt accusing, it was just factual. you weren't the type to get violent at all, you were always rolling your eyes at other recruits squabbling and getting into fights. a long, tense silence filled the room before he spoke again. "I don't care that you did it. i want to know why." erwins expression was almost gentle, his eyes having a glint that you couldn't quite identify. "why did you do it?"
"he was being an asshole." you said plainly, he lifted his hand.
"I want to know why now. he's always rude to you, but it never made you react this way. why now?" he leaned forward, his blue eyes never leaving your face, reading your every little movement like an open book. you hesitated, unsure whether you wanted to explain yourself, or even how to; and of course he saw that too. "..Come here."
"what?" erwin leaned back in his chair, scooting it back just a little, enough for you to see his muscular thighs.
"I said come here. around the desk." you were hesitant, your mind telling you not to, but your body was already up and making its way around the sturdy, wooden desk, standing next to his chair - before he pulled you into his lap, forcing you to straddle him. a loud gasp escaped you, hands gripping his shoulder like a vice. you were torn between freezing and bolting, but he took that choice from you with his arms wrapping around you; one around your shoulders and the other around your waist, feeling like he had fully engulfed you against his warm, large frame.
"quiet." he cut you off, holding you until he could feel the tension in your body slowly seeping away, leaving you to slack against him with your head resting on his shoulder. "..thats better, isnt it?" he whispered lowly, turning his head to look down on you. "you cant keep bottling everything up, soldier. you need to stand up for yourself and find a way to deal with what youre feeling, somewhere to let it out." his tone was soft yet strict, leaving you to hide and bury your face on his neck; if you didnt know any better you could've sworn he held back a quiet chuckle. "It's hard to find somewhere to put your emotions." his large hand grabbed your waist a little tighter, fingers lightly toying with the fabric of your shirt. "I can help you, if you want. Just this once." he leaned back to meet your gaze, staring up at him with a warm face and a slack jaw. "do you want me to help you?" for a split second you hesitated - you knew you shouldn't, this was your commander, but the way his thick thighs felt underneath you and his calloused fingertips starting to sneak under your shirt made incredibly compelling arguments - so you nodded.
Erwin let out a soft breath of relief, his arms tightening around you slightly, as if he wasn't quite sure how youd react to his little offer. his hand slowly pulled up your shirt, just enough to let his hand come to your belly and shift downwards to your belt, expertly fiddling with it until it fell open (he definitely had practice with this), caressing the hem of your underwear. "if anything doesn't feel right, stop me. thats an order." he muttered against your ear, followed by a gentle nip which made you flinch. he leaned back again to pull your pants and underwear down as far as he could, before suddenly lifting you up by your waist with ease, seemingly not even one bit strained by it, and pulling them down to your ankles. he huffed softly before pulling you back to straddle him properly again, making you rest against his torso, his chest rising and falling calmly under you, like this was perfectly normal.
"relax." he ordered softly, one arm around your shoulders again while the other slid down your ass, giving you an approving hum when he saw you kicking off your boots and the bunched up pants, hitting the floor with quier thuds. you closed your eyes with a deep breath, muscles still tense as he felt you up slightly, even more when he slowly pressed his long fingers against your hole. "I won't hurt you." he murmured quietly, resting his head on top of yours, giving you just enough room to pull away if you wanted him to stop - but you stayed right where you were supposed to be, letting him slide two fingers inside you up to his knuckles. the depth alone was insane, unexpected considering that it was just fingers, and overwhelming in the best way possible. he heard the surprised gasp along with your nails digging into his clothes, followed by a soft whimper. "I know, I know." his hand came up to cup the back of your head, soothing you while his fingers slowly moved inside you, as if he was feeling around for something.
"doing well.. does it hurt?" you shook your head slightly, keeping your face pressed against his chest to muffle your moaning and whimpering. "good.. you don't need pain right now. you already have enough of that." he slowly started sliding his fingers in and out of you. "you just need someone to hold you tight and tell you that youre okay. dont you?" he pressed his lips against your head in a gentle kiss, your heart racing. he let you get used to his fingers for a fee minutes, before speeding them up, pushing you forward to rub against his hips ever so slightly, the rough, sturdy fabric of his pants giving you just enough friction to feel good. "just need a little help coping with what youre feeling.." a soft sigh fell from his lips, his fingers speeding up a bit. "youre a good soldier for letting me help you. asking for help is strong, its a good quality to know when you need to do it." he chuckled softly, feeling you press against his chest harder. "but you're learning that now, aren't you?" erwins tone was almost a bit smug now, a third finger slipping in alongside the others, giving you a just slightly burning stretch.
"oh god-" you panted heavily, the knot in your stomach getting tighter with every movement of his fingers.
"shh, i know. you can handle it." his tone left no room for negotiation on this; you could take it and he knew it. "can feel you twitching.. dont hold back now. let it all out." your brows furrowed, his fingers moving in a fast, almost rough 'come here' motion now, hitting those little spots that made you wince with far too much accuracy. suddenly the oragasm felt far too close too fast, but there was nothing that you could do about it except for push erwin off, and god knows you wont do that. so you took it, eyes watering slightly more with each little twitch he pulled from you. and yet, something wasnt quite clicking, like an invisible wall - erwin could feel it too, but he knew what he had to do to coax what he wanted from you; he'd always been good at that. "..you're safe here. you can let go." the words were a quiet, gentle promise that threatened to unwind you if you didnt do it yourself, they pulled a soft cry from your lips while your hips pressed against him; so tense that you were shaking. his fingers didn't stop, following your movements effortlessly to draw out your high, to make sure it would come crashing down on you as hard as he wanted it to. "thats it, good job." he cooed quietly, pressing another kiss to your head when he felt your tears soaking his shirt, your body trembling against his as he forced you to ride out your high.
only when he felt that it was enough, when he was sure that you wouldn't be holding back any emotions right now he slowed his fingers down before pulling them out, feeling you relax with a relieved sob. erwin mindlessly wiped his fingers on his pants before running his hand over your back, going back to soothing you now, as if he wasn't the reason you were crying right now. "there, there.. doesn't that feel better?" he whispered against your hair, his other hand still cupping your head and cradling you against it.
"next time you need help, you just come and find me and ask for it, understood?"
