cut the bullshit,,

May Parker 50 years old the spideraunt lost in the savage lands "you know i larb you."

[mcyslarb]

expiaticn.

RJ hasn’t had the pleasure to meet many villains or fight them, but he thinks it would be quite amusing if they decided to think about the consequences for their victims. The boy nods as he hasn’t had the pleasure to play video games — his mind always focused on other aspects of being a normal kid. It’s okay though, maybe if they ever get to the city again he can try out this SIMS game. “So you live out a fake life as whoever you create? It sounds interesting, but I’m not sure. I’m sorry I grew up a little sheltered.” Which was putting it lightly, but then the thought about his parents has him looking around. “My mom and dad are here somewhere. I just don’t know where at this very moment. Will you stay until they come back?”

“Aw, I see. That’s cool though, the Sims does not a childhood make, you know? Besides, you really wanna hear about a video game that’ll take your time, let me tell you about Pong. Literally just two white bars at either side of a screen bouncing a ball off each other, trying not to let it drop and somehow always failing. Years down the drain.” May leaned back before beaming just little when he asked her if she’d wait with him. Her powers as a cool aunt obviously hadn’t lost their shine in this hostile territory. That or he just really wanted to know more about the Sims. “Absolutely, I’ll stay. I’m sure they’ll be back before you know it. I’m figuring because they’re braving the dinosaurs etcetera, that they’re a pair of badasses?” 

[mcyslarb]

thwipswebs.

“i miss food trucks already,” peter commented as he listened to his aunt speak. “i feel like pop culture comes in handy more than people think. i mean, especially in situations like this. there are so many dinosaur movies out there, after all.” he replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “no, no, i promise it isn’t. no secrets, remember? i don’t do that anymore. not from you. promise.” he did his best to reassure may. the reveal of him having super-powers had prompted him to quickly realize he didn’t need to keep secrets anymore. at least not with his aunt. they were, after all, pretty much the only family each other had. “i heal fast, remember? especially with small things.” he added, smiling at his aunt. “uh… well, i was in new york, at the press conference at xavier’s school. as myself, at first, but then things started to… go to hell. protesters outside with guns, panic inside, some dark mojo making people want to fight… it was a mess. a lot of us were trying to keep the students safe while the others tried to resolve the situation. and then after that… i dunno, it all goes blank. what do you remember?”

“literally all i’m thinking about right now are corn dogs... okay, okay i’m back. you’re right though because with such a variety to choose from, at least one of them had to get the canon spot on, you know? we have the survival secrets squared away, we just have to remember what jeff goldblum taught us besides, uh, not having dinosaurs.” may couldn’t help but give a little bit of a look (you know the one, kinda proud, briefly glossy-eyed) when he said that. “i know, pete. no secrets. me too. oh! right, yes. i do know that. you have the healing, the, ah, tingle but you don’t command an army of spiders and that’s still very important to me.” may listened to him intently, putting together the scene in her head and holding back on bouncing back to loudly worrying about his spidey safety. “sorta the same. i had the news on, trying not to interfere with your hero-ing and all, so i had some kinda idea that things weren’t going well but bad juju? if you finally tried to fight evil harry potter i might know how we wound up here,” she joked before letting out a sigh. “news went bad, i turned off the TV, paced a bit before grabbing my keys but before i could really get anywhere... big time blank. if this is the earth’s defense mechanism, it’s really weird, peter. even by our standards.”

[mcyslarb]

maryjaneakamj.

mary jane was hoping may didn’t ask for any details. she didn’t exactly want to talk about it, but it was easy for mj to open up to may. it always had been. “i’m okay. it’s hard to explain, but i wasn’t myself. apparently it wasn’t just me either. it was harry too.” she wished there was something she could’ve done to stop herself at xaviers, but mj had officially come to terms that it was not her fault. feeling may’s hand on hers brought her back to reality. “as long as we’re all together i think we’ll be okay. there has to be more to this, though. there has to be a way that brings us back to new york.” she finally managed a smile. may always had a way of bringing out the best in her.“how are we supposed to have our little wine nights out here?” mj was hoping to bring some light to their conversation. 

may pressed her lips together tightly to keep from saying something she might have regretted. or alternatively, saying something really loud and laden with profanity. accepting that she couldn’t always protect her loved ones from the evil in the world was--- okay, it was actually something she hadn’t accepted so hearing that anyone- anything- had messed with her kids (so to speak) made her want to scream. but she didn’t. “hey, you know that wasn’t your fault. i’m sorry it happened like that, mj. if i ever get a face to face with this galactus character, i’m gonna...royally fuck ‘em up,” she finished, shrugging as if that were the most casual thing in the world to say. “yeah, you’re right. if you can go through a door, you can go back through a door. or, y’know. you know? we are not going to be stuck here. how else would we have our little---,” she stopped as mary jane beat her to it and couldn’t help letting out a laugh. “exactly. i’m definitely not ready to go all bear grylls on this place and start fermenting my own grapes, no sir.” 

[mcyslarb]

drpclmer.

“you should know better by now than to lie to me about that.” christine was already standing at may’s side with a towel to wipe away the blood. “it doesn’t look that bad. a band-aid will cover it fine, but you still need to clean it.” she dabbed at the woman’s skin carefully as to avoid causing any irritation. “how are you holding up out here?”

“it was worth a cheap shot, huh?” may refrained from protesting while her favourite doctor cleaned her up. besides, she knew better than trying to mess with christine palmer. she nodded slightly, closing her eyes for the briefest of moments. “if i tell you that i am totally freaking up, not at all keeping it together, still think this might be a fever dream- do you promise to keep it a secret? how are you holding up, doc?”

[mcyslarb]

badlvckhardy.

“do you always keep spare band-aids in your purse? that’s so… parental guardian of you. do you also keep juice boxes and cheese sticks in there?” she quirked a brow, partially out of curiosity but mostly as a means to amuse herself. she didn’t particularly know may well, in passing, but she knew of her. “anyway, a little blood is always better than not melting and i’m no expert, but i have some experience with self-medical care and that looks like it’s going to swell.”

“i read a lot of parental guardian 101 blogs back in the day and they all pretty much agreed that you can’t leave the house without ‘em. that and they should definitely be novelty. i wish... i’d kill for a cheese stick right now. or even just some cheese, preferably melted. if you’re in need of bubblegum, granola crumbs, melted lip balm or a coaster from a bar i was at last summer, lemme know.” felicia hardy. you know, as much as may did all she could to keep up with peter’s spidey drama, there were still a few blanks. as far as she could tell, felicia was somewhere in a morally ambiguous grey area so no need to go running for the hills. may hoped. “swell? man, i’m never gonna pick up a hot caveperson now.”

[mcyslarb]

mccdyjcnes.

“just a scratch out in the jungle can lead to an infection which then could lead to getting sick, which could lead to you dying.” mj said flatly while sitting back. she’d been trying to get may to treat the little cut. “you still have to clean it even if you’re just putting a band-aid over it, may.” she did understand though. a lot of things seemed to be minor inconveniences in the light of trying not to be crushed/eaten by dinosaurs. 

may tried to keep a straight face for as long as humanly possible before the sides of her mouth started to quirk up into a smile. trust michelle to somehow brighten up her day ironically with some dark and stormy humour. “you know, i think you would make one hell of medical professional, michelle. sometimes people gotta hear it how it is when it comes to not keeping their hands out of garbage disposals and skipping check-ups. people would listen to you,” she paused, letting that smile shine through. “i’m listening to you. i’ll clean it up but only if you confess right now about any injuries you may or may not have gotten during dino-gate. deal?”

[mcyslarb]

khaavri.

“Just because your pain is comparatively minor, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it.” Sooraya smiled softly. That reminded her of her mother.  I am fine, Sooraya ji, do not worry about me. Maintaining that, even when she obviously looked exhausted. “At least you brought your purse. I am a mutant, who becomes a living dust storm. So, I don’t take anything with me that I wouldn’t want to lose when my pockets dematerialise.” She attempted to joke. “Do you want me to help you with the band-aid?”

“Well said. I might actually have to borrow that from you sometime if you don’t mind, there’s really no arguing with it. Oh, it’s a good thing I did too because---,” she cut herself off, having to do a mental double take. ‘I am a mutant who becomes a living dust storm’. A smile slowly spread over May’s face, threatening to break out into a grin. “Cool. You’re...really cool. I- Sorry, I am just not at all cool like that, my pockets have never dematerialised a day in their lives which is just very embarrassing of them,” May joked back before shrugging her shoulders a little. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, thank you. It, uh, kinda has a dinosaur on it so try and not judge.”

[mcyslarb]

brcinstcrm.

              the young blonde narrowed her eyes at the woman in front of her.  most people there were super , had some sort of agility that benefited them.  those that were humans were more susceptible to diseases and dehydration , which she was finding hard to fight.  “ are you sure you’re not concussed ? “ she examined the woman , but she was no doctor in the medical sense.  “ yeah but we also have to worry about other things , our immune system can only withstand so much. just —- try and drink some fluids , if there are any clean left. “

              “you are completely right... huh. i haven’t been lectured on being responsible for a while now. that must be what i sound like when i’m being the voice of reason. trippy. anyway, thank you. i’ll actually just-,” she started raking around in her purse for that band-aid and alcohol free, antiseptic wipe if she was lucky before pausing. “do you want like, three quarters of a room temp aloe vera drink? and, uh, don’t be mad at me for asking because you do look like you’re probably my ‘may, please i’m in my twenties’ nephew’s age but is your parent-and-or-guardian around here too?” 

[mcyslarb]

semistcble.

“are you sure?” bucky asked, his brows knit together in concern as he frowned over at the other. “i’m not a doctor, but… i know the basics.” when it came to first aid, at least. “but if you’re sure you’re fine, then… alright.” he added, admittedly still a little skeptical and concerned, but he can tell that she probably won’t budge on saying that she was fine. which… was the exact same thing he know he’d do if he were her. “we should head for one of the shelters. make sure everyone’s okay and that we’re near safety if we need it again.”

“thank you.” may appreciated that he wasn’t pushing her even if she knew that she didn’t have to be this stubborn. saying you’re fine and actually being fine were two different things but at least her head was still attached to her shoulders, right? may paused a second though before- “james buchanan barnes? i- sorry, you just uh, look like your museum photos. and this one google image that got used in a memorial fanvid but that’s definitely a story for another time,” she said, waving her hand. “i’m may and uh, truthfully, i was actually a nurse which means me writing this off as a flesh wound is totally hypocritical. you’re right though. as long as the majority of our blood is on the inside then we’re good to go for now. lead the way.” 

[mcyslarb]

*· ☆,.- HEADCANON:

May Parker studied to be a nurse during college and graduated with a symbolic Hello Kitty band-aid slapped onto her gown. She worked with Dr. Christine Palmer long enough for them to have felt like a well-oiled, takes-no-shit, machine in the O.R. She was compassionate, involved and she would yell at anyone to sit the hell down when necessary. When Peter’s parents died, she was beginning her studies to become a nurse practitioner. She almost quit then, wanting to be there for Peter as much as possible but Ben had insisted she stay the course, he’d make sure he was there for Pete no matter the time of day. It was a rare argument he won and she carried on until once again she got to graduate. But then the very worst thing happened: Ben died. Peter took on the job of arguing with her about quitting but he didn’t win. She knew he’d think it was his fault, that she was giving up something she loved to spend more time with him but truth be told, she just couldn’t bring herself to care like she needed to anymore. It didn’t feel important, didn’t make her happy or fulfilled. What could? So May quit.  It took some time after but she wound up finding something she really loved to do again in running a homeless shelter in Queens, especially after Thanos. It made her feel like she was doing something important again (in addition to the most important thing which was being Peter’s partner-in-crime) even if she still did kinda miss nursing.

[mcyslarb]

defrosted-dottie.

“it’s literally raining acid, what else could possibly go wrong?” ~ @mcyslarb

Dottie jumped when the woman appeared through some kind of portal- more so because she had only just managed to outrun a raptor and was extremely on edge. Technological advancements were shocking her less and less these days. “Keep your voice down!” She whispered, pulling her into her hiding place. “Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are some kind of raptors here.”

“That’s what I get for tempting fate.” What a trip... This whole day had been a mess and honestly? Now she’d been literally knocked through a portal and was out of sight from her loved ones, she really felt like freaking out. Keeping it together was May’s specialty at this point (besides, if she freaked out then she’d make Peter freak out which would make her freak out more and so on). May bit down on her lip for longer than necessary before turning to face her knight in shining armour. “Thanks. And uh, sorry about the loud entrance. Believe it or not, that was my first time falling through a, uh, do-da. Anyway, raptors, huh?” 

[mcyslarb]

clonedspider.

Kaine can’t blame May for having that kind of reaction — you don’t ever imagine someone you love would end up being cloned. He can’t expect such acceptance so quickly, but the spider gives her the time to let it sink in. The whole situation is weird, but for him it was normal. He doesn’t know anything behind this. He was born older, fresh out of a tube which was strange in of itself. Kaine resembles Peter in a lot of ways, but they also had their differences since the boy was his own person after all.

They were still staring at each other, and Kaine doesn’t know how to feel. “Yeah, there’s a multiverse. I’m a clone of Peter. My creator rejected me. I saw him as a father, but he didn’t love me.” He bites on his lip for a moment, almost ashamed in the confession since he doesn’t want to worry her. “I didn’t get to be close to my Peter, but I have met the one you know. He was KIND to me. He would technically be my older brother. I wouldn’t mind, we can look for some food together? I can answer any questions you have while we do.”

“That’s terrible. I- I am so sorry that happened to you.” May couldn’t help it. That was heartbreaking to hear from anyone- but he didn’t love me- yet even more so from him. She could never have imagined in a million years abandoning her Peter like that. She couldn’t even have imagined abandoning anyone like that, nevermind someone who she had, well, ‘created’. She wanted to asked who had loved him, who it was he’d had in his life to be there for him. If he’d had a... Well, a her. A May. The unfortunate thing was, she was pretty sure she knew the answer to that already. 

A smile managed to tug at her lips though when he mentioned that her Peter had been kind. Of course he had been kind. “That- That um, sounds like the perfect compromise. You might have to take the lead on it though. I’ve never lasted more than a night on a camping trip and the last time I was willingly in the woods was for some college bonfire party my roommate roped me into so--- Not that...that’s important.” May paused, pressing her lips together before stealing another glance at him. “Technically your older brother. Huh. Does that make me your- technically, I mean- um, looks-much-younger-but-is-older aunt? ... Sorry, is that too much of a question? I’ve never done this before. Are you- Are you okay, Kaine? Here, I mean.” 

[mcyslarb]

ofnorsemyths.

thor couldn’t stop the grin that spread onto his lips as may tripped over her words in an attempt to smooth the situation over. he wasn’t unaware of the way people saw him, even when he was at his worst - and it always gave him a sort of delight to see them fluster and flirt with him. “ah yes, i do seem to believe that showers and bathing will be at best an option around here, so it’s wise to keep that on-hand.” he nodded towards her bag before listening to her questions.

“yes! i know the spider-boy, peter parker - he taught me that going through windows was far more advanced than entering through a door.“ he grinned, placing a hand onto his hip as he glanced up towards the sky. “unfortunately, i have yet to see him, but i will certainly keep an eye out for your nephew.“ he looked back down towards her, “i also see where parker gets the titles from, you may call me thor.“ he beamed.

may was totally making a fool of herself in front of the literal god of thunder. what a day, huh? despite that, his grin was definitely infectious and making her feel a whole lot better about this whole fucked up fuck of a situation- excuse the language. this place was going to come with a whole new set of problems. regardless, may let out a laugh when he said that. classic pete. 

“he would say that but that’s just cause i never actually managed to hit him with that frozen lasagna that time i thought he was some kinda criminal breaking in. but yeah! that’s peter. oh, right. i mean, good. thank you. you probably have like, super godly vision too so that’s a bonus,” she breathed. if thor was here then chances were the rest of the avengers were too, right? pete had to be somewhere. “manners and movie trivia; our niche. thor it is then, cool. you can just call me may too. i figure being thrown into...here together is enough to get anyone on a first name basis anyways.”

[mcyslarb]

aflamc.

“I think we’re all a little tired.” Johnny even was after such an eventful day. He gives May a soft look though, always liking her. “I would never want to break your heart. I apologize.” He considered Peter family since he was one of his best friends so naturally that means May was like family too. “I miss Twitter. Perhaps someday we can figure out the whole electricity thing and you can play emoji blitz again.” The boy suggests with a bright smile on his face. “I don’t know, soon maybe. Do you think that it’s safe to sleep?” He asks as he doesn’t know what tomorrow could bring.

“Yeah, you got me there.” She smiled, waving a dismissive hand at his apology. Johnny had been best friends with Peter for as long as she could remember so naturally he’d become like family to her. Not for the first time she didn’t know whether to feel sick to her stomach with worry that they were both here or relieved that she at least knew they were okay. Had each other’s backs. “My heart will go as Celine would say. Aw, I miss your twitts too. Tweets? They’d definitely keep morale up in this place I think. Please, I’ll never ask for anything else if I could just plug something in again...,” she drifted momentarily before giving him a thoughtful look. May’s go-to would be to say that everything was going to be okay but here? How was she supposed to know that? “I think so long as you have at least one person around on watch, you can sleep as long as you need. Earth’s ah, mightiest heroes are all here, right? Super safe.”

[mcyslarb]

“Come on, it’s just a scratch,” May waved a dismissive hand for added emphasis of just how just it was. A teeny tiny bit hypocritical of her to dismiss worry when both she and her own worry refused to be dismissed? Totally. Teeny tiny though. “I have a band-aid leftover in my purse, I‘ll be fine. I think at this point we have to agree that being eaten or literally melting were the big two to avoid. This is nothing.”

[mcyslarb]

expiaticn.

“I know what you mean. This outfit I’m wearing isn’t really ideal for weather like this. It’s too bad we didn’t get some sort of warning so we could dress appropriately.” RJ at least had all his weapons on him — although his ammo would have to be conserved since it was a  limited supply. “What is this Sims you speak of?” The boy asks although he can figure out that it must be some sort of game. He takes a deep breath, moving to sit down. “I was just saying that the sun is going down. I wonder what the nighttime will bring.” He wonders, but there was really only one way to tell.

"That's exactly what I've been saying. I know these evil dudes with their 'end the world' agenda don't exactly care about common courtesy but c'mon. This is just a really weird endgame." May waved a hand for extra emphasis on the the overall weirdest of it all before considering his question. Huh. She'd always figured that the Sims had manged to infiltrate everyone's life but there ya go. "It's a game. I wound up with it on my laptop a couple summers back and it definitely took like, several weeks of my life. You just kinda make a person and do life, I guess? I promise they marketed it better than I am right now. I- Oh. That's a good, only slightly terrifying question actually. Don't suppose we'd all catch a break and whatever lurks in the shadows also has a bedtime?" May was only partly joking given that a little moment of peace would have been ideal. She looked over to him, a small smile tugging onto her lips. "Hey, not to sound like a kindergarten teacher or anything but are your parents or someone here?"

[mcyslarb]

maya-mayamaya.

“Oh, uh…” Maya’s expression changed to confusion mixed with amusement. Strange priorities, but okay. “It’s just a macchiato.” Despite the situation they were so clearly in, she laughed as she helped her up. “I highly doubt it, but keep your fingers crossed. Who knows what can happen here.” Maya nodded, “Yeah, I’m okay. Just… woozy. It is so hot here.” She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, “I’m Maya. Are you okay?”

"Ooh. I mean, as far as coffee goes that's a pretty strong order to have in the zombie apocalypse. Or, uh, wherever we are. I'll cross 'em on both hands for that extra power," she joked, doing just that before laughing. What was literally ever happening anymore? It was like there hadn't been a normal day since- Well, ever. "Electricity and Starbucks are hopefully on the top of the priority list. Tell me about it! I might have some napkins I stole from Five Guys in my purse if you're interested? Maya. Got it. I-," May opened then closed her mouth before sighing. "Only most days."