finally adulting
It has been years since I turned 18 or you know, the legal age. It’s been while since I got the motivation to actually do something with my life. Las month, I decided to apply for a job; I got tired of the constant anxiety because of the lack of money. Not knowing where to get it, not knowing who to ask for it.
I have been living with my boyfriend in a separate house -- on and off, it really depends whenever he has P.E. assignments and projects to do. And although his parents still give us money and supply for food, the thought of not having enough just terrified me. It made me feel what I felt all those years ago.
The lack of money in my hands and pockets were bringing back memories and feelings that I honestly wish I didn’t have.
1,000 pesos a week won’t work. A lot of people would tell me that it would, that we just have to stick to the food supply given to us and not buy any snacks outside, but it really isn’t about that. We run out of cooking oil, we buy, and sure, the change might be enough to still last a week; we run out of salt and pepper, sure, both packs only cost 30 pesos. We have enough. But what if something unexpected happens? Like the gas running out? One small tank costs 600. Then that happens on Tuesday; 5 more days. Would that fit? Sure it would. Would I get constant anxiety attacks? Of course, twice a day.
A lot has happened since I started applying, and now, well, I’m fixing all of the documents and requirements that I need so I can start on Monday. I am extremely and utterly nervous. But I’ll make it work, like how I managed to ride the jeep without freaking out (but of course, I don’t ride alone), I’m sure I can manage working.
