The Horsemen and The Cowgirls (Devils Night series by Penelope Douglas)
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The Horsemen and The Cowgirls (Devils Night series by Penelope Douglas)
devil’s night messy headers
like or reblog if you save.
الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ عَلَى كُلِّ حَالٍ
alhumdulilah 'alaa kulli haal
I finally told my mother about my plans to leave. I honestly thought I was going to end up being disappointed with her words. I was anticipating harsh words saying I wouldn't survive on my own or that I was insane for wanting to leave. The idea of her not taking me seriously would've been the worse of it all because it meant she still saw me as her little child that will never grew up. I was shocked to see her acceptance. Although I would've moved regardless of her approval, it definitely eased my anxiety. I think it's what I needed. I'm now more sure than I've ever been.
Do you ever realize how badly you’re going to miss a moment while you’re living it? Like wow, these are the good days. I am here and I am happy and I feel alive.
(via foreverrwanderlust)
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You have a purpose. Your existence wasn’t a mistaken accident, it was a creation from almost nothing to something incredible–a miracle even. You’re here, you’re breathing, growing, moving forward for a reason.
Definitely needed this at this very second.
SEX IS NOT THE ONLY TIME YOU SHOULD FEEL LOVED, A REMINDER
SEX IS ONLY ONE FORM OF PLEASURE AND NOT THE PINNACLE OF IT, A REMINDER
Here’s something cute
When lockdown happened in the UK it happened very suddenly. At the law firm I work at, our office building emptied overnight when everyone was told to work from home. No time to clear our desks, no time to bring office plants home.
Fast forward three and a half months - everyone assumes that their plants are dead.
But then! An email goes round! It’s turns out that one of our security guards is a florist, and -
-the security team has moved EVERY SINGLE PLANT from all 12 FLOORS of our office building into the cafeteria. It’s been turned into a temporary greenhouse. Cacti and succulents and spider plants and terrariums and potted ferns
AND! Each plant has been INDIVIDUALLY LABELLED by hand with post-it notes with name and desk location so the plants can go home after lockdown ends
To give some indication of the scale of the endeavour:
If you zoom into the centre right photo you can see one of our security team happily waving
The plants are being taken care of tenderly. They get sun and water and are spending happy times with other plant friends
You attract what you are and you create what you think about. Act like the person you want to become. Think like the person you want to become. Nothing changes in your life unless you make the decision and commitment to change it. Hold an image in your mind of how you wish to see yourself living. Visualize it everyday and you will unconsciously start to do things that will move you towards that goal.
Heartbreak, five and a half years later.
So much has happened in the last five and a half years. There was a time I thought that I couldn’t live without you. There was a time when I felt the excruciating pain of heartbreak and thinking I’d never move on from it. I remember crying myself to sleep at night feeling so alone and thinking I’d never get passed it. My heart ached for months and for almost two years, it felt as though I could never get over you. You were a ghost from my past that kept haunting my mind. You were someone that made my stomach sink whenever I’d hear your name. You tore my heart apart and never cared about the repercussions of your actions.
Do you remember the day I confronted you about the cheating? Do you remember the exact words you said to me after I called you out? “Well, I guess you know now.”— I never deserved that. No girl deserved that. There was a time that I use to blame myself ENTIRELY for all the bad in our relationship. I definitely believe I’m at fault for some of these things, but I hope you one day realize you pushed me to my breaking point. Every action you made, made me crazy. You lied and cheated on me from the get-go. I honestly should’ve seen the red flags the minute you told me your ex was crazy. I should’ve seen the red flags the minute you told me you played for USC’s basketball team. I ignored every red flag because I had already fallen in love with your toxicity.
A lot of our mutual friends have asked over the years if I’d ever want to be friends with you again. And throughout the years I’ve stayed consistent with my answer. I’d be acquaintances with you only if we were both in serious relationship/single at the same time. Since our break up, I have always refused to be that type of ex. I would never want to be known as the ex that kept interrupting someone else’s relationship because we had exactly that in ours. I was above that and I still am.
I use to hold so much hatred towards you. I use to hate every fiber of your being, but even after all the lying and the cheating, I’ve learned to appreciate it all. I’m grateful you happened. Even with all the bad, the memories we had with our friends were some of the best years of my life. I will always remember all the drunk nights we’ve had in the Bay Area with Joshtian. I will always remember the long nights we’d spend dancing under the electric skies with SoBay. Every tear and heartache was worth it all because of those memories.
I hope one day that you and I will get to a point where we can be acquaintances in each others lives. You were such a big chapter in my life and I’d hate for us to leave it at just that. If I were to pass you on the street, I’d give you a hug, say hello and ask how you’re doing. If you were to be on your deathbed, I’d hope to visit and say one last goodbye and thank you for all the memories.
Wherever you are Erinne, I truly hope you’re happy. And if you aren’t, I hope that’s where you’re heading towards. I’m at a great place in my life right now. I love my job, I’m the closest I’ve ever been with my family and friends, and next year I’m fulfilling a dream that I’ve had for the last eight years. I can honestly say that I’m truly happy. I grew up a lot these past five and a half years and I really do hope you did too. I’m forever thankful we crossed paths because I wouldn’t be where I am today without it.