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@me-uglypretty
last updated: 22nd nov
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YOU WANNA BE MAD ♡ SIXTEEN
⚰︎ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ ⋆ ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
⋆ ⋆ ─ prev part ⋆ next part
⚰︎ chapter tags: flashbacks are italicized ⋆ unofficial date ⋆ soft yelena ⋆ angst ⋆ post endgame flashback ⋆ dikiy byk - wild bull , chudak - idiot ⋆ word count: 3.7k
⚰︎ bones now playing ▹ mad - reneé rapp
“This is it.” Yelena stated as you both stood outside of the shop. “Anything look familiar?”
After looking over the dark sign, you began staring through the glass. You observed the seating and counter set up, mind taking in the vaguely familiar sight. When you spotted the worker behind the counter, a glimmer of recognition appeared in your mind.
“Actually… yeah.” You said absentmindedly, heading for the door.
“Welcome in.” The worker called out casually, eyes turned down to a book on the counter. As you stepped closer, the moment she looked up her eyes lit up with mild excitement when she saw you. “Hey! Good to see you again.”
The girl was familiar to you. Her golden skin stood out against the bright colors of her uniform, curly hair pulled out of the way of her face and a seemingly broken pendant hung on a chain round her neck.
“Woah! You’re alive!” A secondary voice yelled.
The source of the yell appeared into view with haste. A dark haired young man approached the counter dressed in styled street clothing. He Th was clearly not a working employee of the establishment, but he too looked familiar.
“Barely.” Yelena muttered quietly after a soft hum of laughter.
“Hello.” You responded timidly, still trying to gauge their reactions.
Yelena nudged you forward, attempting to give you a boost of confidence to approach the counter. You stepped up, fumbling with the receipt in your pocket. The boy’s face pulled into confusion, studying you before glancing to Yelena.
“Wait- wait! Were you off on some secret dangerous Avengers business?” He asked leaving over the high table.
“Ned, chill, just… back off a minute.” The girl behind the counter squinted at you, her eyes fluttering across the healing wounds on your face.
“I think she’s a little fucked up.” She noted.
“No- I.” You tried to explain. “I’m alright.”
You smiled. You could feel Yelena’s amused stare on the side of your head as you blatantly lied to them.
“If you say so.” She shrugged.
“Super secret Avenger stuff.” Ned uttered, eyeing his friend. “You know, I’m still waiting for that exclusive interview.”
“Right…” You nodded slowly.
“I really need to know everything you know about the Spider-Man.” He added in casually.
“Wait- who?”
The pair of familiar strangers exchanged glances and looked back to you with puzzled expressions.
"Um, no, she will not be answering any questions right now.” Yelena interrupted.
They looked more confused now that Yelena stepped in for you. You were grateful for her help, but she was just a tad overbearing.
“It’s not that I don’t want to…” You started to explain. “I uh- I can’t.”
They still looked puzzled.
“Not right now.” You added in.
The girl looked to Yelena, then at you, then to Yelena and back to you. She leaned across the table, motioning to you meet her halfway. Once you were close enough she gave Yelena a small once over and spoke in a low a voice.
“Do you need help?”
Your lips parted in stunned silence. Yelena muttered out something unintelligible in Russian, hand rubbing over her forehead. She thought civilians worrying for your safety was ironic.
“She’s fine.” Yelena answered for you.
“I asked her.”
Yelena’s eyebrows raised, clearly not enthused with the mild attitude. You jumped in before Yelena did irreparabledamage to you alleged friendship with these two.
“No, no no no. I’m fine. Seriously.” You said with a stern voice, trying not to laugh. “Just managing a concussion.”
“Another one?” The boy, Ned, interjected. Your brows creased in confusion. Friendly or not- Why did these two people know so much about you?
“Yeah.” You laughed nervously.
They both shared an unreadable look between the two of them.
“Do you even know who we are?” The girl asked, eyebrows raised.
“Michelle?” You tossed the name from the receipt out cautiously. Her expression was neutral, but pleased. She still eyed you both carefully as she stood up straight.
“What about me?” Ned asked like he hadn’t been addressed by name minutes earlier.
“… Ned.”
An awkward silence blanketed the cafe.
“Good enough for me.” Michelle shrugged as she took a step to the register. “You want your regular?”
“Uh- yeah.” You shrugged with a smile, assuming she meant what had been on the receipt in your pocket. “Please.”
She nodded, scribbling your order down. A small smile pulled at the corners of your lips at the thought of Michelle having your drink memorized. You figured that must come here a lot more than you originally thought.
“Aaaand for your keeper?” Her head tipped to Yelena’s direction.
With a flicker of distain, Yelena gave the girl her drink order. Before you could fish around for your wallet, she also supplied a 20 dollar bill, and stuffed the change Michelle gave her into the tip bucket.
There was no silence while you both waited for Michelle to make the drinks. Ned talked all of your ears off about the alleged friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, explaining his plan for some website software for his fan club or something. When Michelle had finished with your order, she placed the cups onto the counter, a sticky note stuck on your cup caught your eye.
“Well, I hope your concussion heals up nicely.” She wished.
“Thanks.” You gave them a sheepish expression. “I’m sorry about not recognizing you.”
“My God it’s like looking into a parallel universe.” Ned uttered, face lighting up as he snapped to add, “OR like prime Avengers Sparks.”
His reaction had you hoping that you were not seen as some raging bitch to them at some point. Clearly their attitude indicated you were civil acquaintances of sorts.
“Knock that off.” She lightly scolded her friend as you both grabbed your drinks.
"Um- good luck with your spider fan club."
"We prefer the term Web Heads!"
“Right.” You nodded slowly, following to where Yelena had been retreating to the door.
“And by the way you don’t call me Michelle.” She said with a small chuckle. You nodded again, a little overwhelmed with the entire ordeal.
As you began to exit the shop you peeked down at the note on the cup. Yelena glared down at it from over your shoulder.
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘟𝘟𝘟-𝘟𝘟𝘟-𝘟𝘟𝘟𝘟 - 𝘔𝘑
The name M.J. rolled through your thoughts, a reliving feeling of familiarity soon followed.
“Thank again, M.J.”
On your way out of the door you bumped into someone- or rather were nearly ran over by someone. The hit had you stumbling backwards, completely losing your footing. Yelena moved fast, grabbing for your jacket before you began to really fall.
“Hey!” Yelena scolded. “Watch where you’re going!”
You had both almost lost your drinks, but some miracle they both survived the collision. The stranger was quickly spitting out apology after apology crouched down on the floor to pick up the items he had dropped.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I am so, so sorry!”
He seemed very scattered and all out of sorts. Maybe even more so than you.
“You need to be paying more attention!” She shoved a pointer finger in his direction as he began to stand up. “Slamming into people like some dikiy byk.”
Once standing he stopped, standing still as a statue while he stared at you in surprise.
“Hey.” He breathed, expression resembling a kicked puppy. Your eyes looked to Yelena, seeing if she knew him. She still looked very irritated.
“Hi?” You returned the greeting, trying to decipher his expression. He awkwardly stared at you, more than a handful of seconds passed before he spoke again. If you were to be honest, it looked like he was ready to burst into tears.
“I’m-I’m Peter Parker.”
You blinked once. Unsure if you knew him or not. His tone suggested that you did. The more you looked at him the more familiar he seemed to get, but you still had no real clue.
“Do I know you?” You asked him bluntly, eyelids squinting to get a better look at him.
“No!” He answered suspiciously fast. “No- I’m just… a fan. Big fan of yours.”
You nodded slowly, still politely smiling at him. Yelena stepped closer now, finding the vibes of the stranger to be very weird.
“We should get going.” Yelena’s free hand was looking through your elbow again, gently tugging you.
“Yeah, um- it was nice to meet you.” You said to him with a smile.
“Oh yeah! Yeah- yeah! You too! I’ll see you around.” The cheerful words he spoke did not match the sad expression he wore.
Yelena tugged harder, successfully pulling you from your spot. You waved Peter goodbye with your free hand as you began to walk away, leaving him to disappear inside of the shop you had just exited.
“Chudak.” You heard Yelena speak under her breath.
You found yourself turning over your shoulder to watch him in the window. Something in your mind didn’t settle right. Outside of the amnesia, the way he tugged at your mind just made you feel wrong.
Two hours later it was approaching evening time. The streets were full of commuting cars and pedestrians trying to get to their destinations. You had been to Kate’s apartment and met the dogs. Now on the returning loop of the walk, Fanny and Lucky were leading the charge back to Kate’s apartment. You happily watched as they walked they sniffed everyone and everything they found interesting. Yelena held the leashes, per your earlier deal.
Recognizing how close we’re growing closer to your retuning destination, you finally worked up the nerve to ask Yelena a question. One that had been nagging at the back of your mind causing you a lot of anxiety.
“Hey I wanted to ask you something.”
“You can try.” Yelena sang.
“I don’t really know how to phrase it.” You worried your hands.
“Don’t think too hard, you’ll give yourself another concussion.” Yelena joked despite her own feelings of anxiety that formed. Luckily for her you laughed along at her words.
“Did I…. do something?” The question was vague. Yelena didn’t respond, gently tugging Lucky back on track.
“Before my accident, I mean.” You filled in.
“You’ve done lots of things.” Yelena answered casually with a shrug.
“No- like.” You were frustrated trying to find the right words. “To you?”
Yelena made a small sound of distain, hoping you didn’t pick up on it. You did.
“Oh no,” you said in a soft voice. “I did, didn’t I?”
Yelena opened her mouth to protest.
“Fuck.” You cursed. “I’m sorry.” You apologized.
“I swear I wasn’t always like that.”
The way you spat out the final word with so much hate made Yelena’s chest ache. She figured you must be remembering more of yourself from the more recent years you’d lost. The worry in her mind grew with the thought. She tried to interrupt you by calling your name, but you didn’t listen.
“I know you won’t believe me, but I’ve received awards for my outstanding service and merit from S.H.I.E.LD.” You barked out a laugh. “I guess it means nothing now.”
The more you spoke about yourself the more nauseous Yelena grew. Because of course you recived awards for all your achievements.
“Please, shut up.” Yelena cut you off with a breathy laugh. You were silenced immediately.
“You said you remembered the gas station?” She asked.
“Mhm.” You nodded. Yelena took in a steady breath, mentally preparing to be really honest with you for once.
“We had never met before that day… and I was not kind to you.” She admitted, eyes still focused ahead.
Yelena was thankful you were walking, she didn’t want to have this sort of conversation face to face. She didn’t think she had the stomach for it.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
You were quiet. Yelena let you simmer with the new information. She silently prayed you would let the topic of conversation go.
“Is it funny if I think I did deserve it?” Your voice had dropped, every word sounding small with emotion.
“It’s like,” you paused. “Like with every bit of memory I get back… the less I think I like about myself.” You took in a steady breath.
“The last time I saw my mentor,” you began to laugh. “I wanted to-“ You huffed a laugh, obviously losing confidence in your words.
“I think I wanted to kill him.”
Like the universe wanted them to suffer, both dogs took an interest in a tree planted along the sidewalk causing you to stop in your tracks.
“I did try.” Yelena blurted. You finally tried looking into her eyes wearing a puzzled expression.
“Last Christmas.” Despite your stare, she kept her eyes on the dogs. “I came to New York to kill Clint Barton because I believed that he murdered my sister.”
Silence blanketed over the two of you, whizzing of passing cars the only sound. Yelena felt weight of your gaze on her face, while the admission hung heavy in the air around them like a toxic cloud. The very niche shared feelings and experience laced through the both of your minds.
Fanny interrupted the tense moment by nosing her head between your knees, nearly tripping you with the leash. Yelena instinctively reached her hand out to grab your arm.
“Why didn’t you do it?” You finally asked.
Yelena sighed.
“I realized she wouldn’t have wanted me to.”
You nodded slowly.
“Why didn’t you do it?” She asked in return.
“I was at a funeral. Bad etiquette.” You joked, pulling a breathy laugh from Yelena before she turned her attention to the two togs tangling their leashes together.
“You’ve sniffed the tree enough. Let’s go home.”
You both bagan the mildly awkward walk back to Kate's apartment, successfully making it without incident. Yelena unleashed the dogs and let them in first.
“I still can’t believe you have a dog.”
Yelena was going to respond, but her attention was diverted to the open window. An arrow whizzed past the small distance between your faces. You jumped back in surprise, following where it to the training bullseye Kate had had set up on the far wall. It had landed in the center circle of the target perfectly. Your eyes were turning for the window in surprise before you looked to Yelena who was already moving towards the window. When you looked back to the arrow you noticed the string tied around it.
You pulled on the string, freeing the paper that was folded around it.
𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨. 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘴, 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳. - 𝘏.
You blinked at the words on the piece of paper, immediate placing a guess as to who the sender was. Nobody else you knew would confidently shoot an arrow between your heads like that. You doubted it would be Happy.
It was actually three papers rolled up together. The handwritten note, one copy of a printed photo and one copy of a newspaper clipping.
The photo you didn’t exactly recognize, you were sure you had never seen it before. You did vaguely recall the day. You recognized the setting and the people in it with you, but it drew blank in your mind. Despite how old you looked in the photo were wearing the insulating sleeves designed by S.H.I.E.LD. when you were first taken in to prevent accidents. You wore them daily until you were old enough to get a handle on shocking things around you, but the context of the photo explained your use of them.
In the photo you were surrounded by children of the Barton family, clearly engaged in some sort of game of dodgeball. The sleeves were simply a precaution of the children, especially the young Nathan barely able to participate in the game. The other side of the photo included the opposing team of Laura, Clint and Natasha.
The print out of the newspaper was a photocopy of a real clipping, bright creases of the folds indicating it had been well worn.
The image of the paper displayed a very recent photo of yourself, an older middle aged man and a gaggle of children smiling brightly while sat on a tractor. You had absolutely zero recollection of the photo.
𝐁𝐢𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬! 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚 𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞. 𝐖𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐭𝐲. 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐣𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.
You knew that you only get back to the North East for Bucky’s campaign, but anything before that was a toss up. You still had no idea what you really did. Apparently you did a lot.
“So you went on a some sort of mission trip? This must be why people like you so much.” Yelena assumed looking at the newspaper from over your shoulder. You handed her the photo of the Barton family for her to get a better look while you studied the newspaper.
You had heard the tractor sputtering a mile back. As the sound grew louder you saw the large tractor appear on the hillside, stranded in a half plowed field. When you squinted to get a better look, you could see a man getting clearly frustrated as he was trying to start it.
You stopped on the shoulder of the road as you weighed out your options. Keep walking for who knows how long. Or. Give your legs a break and help this farmer.
You chose the latter.
You trudged your way through the tall plants, careful of each of your steps.
“Hello there!” He greeted with a wave.
“Howdy!” You quintes out a smile against the blinding sun. “Need some help?”
“Not unless you got some jumper cables and a 12 volt in that pack of yours.” He gave a friendly laugh.
“Don’t need one.”
He gave you a look of pure confusion, studying you like you were as crazy as you must have sounded. After a moment of staring his expression brightened up.
“Good Lord.” He uttered in disbelief. You smiled.
“I can give you a jump.” You offered.
“I can’t even believe my eyes.”
He began to climb down the steps of the tractor, removing his hat and extending his hand to you.
“Michael.” He introduced himself. You opened your mouth to speak, “Oh I know who you are.”
He continued to shake your hand excitedly for more than a few extra seconds before he dropped his grip.
“You are a miracle!”
“It’s the damn battery again.” Michael grumbled. “Piece of junk died on me last week, too.”
“Um-“ You looked at the intimidating machine. “Can you lift the hood?” You motioned to the engine.
“Yeah, yeah!” He nodded rushing to help lift the metal.
“My kids ain’t gonna believe this.”
Michael shook his head as he worked open the cover. You laughed lightly, climbing up to get a better look at the engine. He watched as you inspected the components, checking the battery for any external damage. You had never jump started a tractor before, but you assumed it was the same was a car.
“It looks fine just a little old, but I think you should still replace it sooner than later.”
“It’s a 12-volt… You sure you ain’t need no cables? Gloves or nothin’?”
You shook your head, raised your arms to him to present your hands while giving them a little shake.
“I got these.”
“Alrighty Little Miss, go on ahead.”
You got a good grip terminals, minding the soon to be moving parts of the machine while he climbed back into the cab.
“Ready?” You hollered.
“Ready!”
You generated a small surge of electricity, just enough to kick on the battery, listening as the tractor roared back to life.
Michael began cheering loudly from his seat. You carefully shut the hood
“You’re a miracle!” He shouted over the noise. “Saved me a few mile walk back to the barn!”You gave him a sheepish smile.
“Glad I could help!” You were ready to grab your backpack and bid him goodbye to continue your journey.
“How can I pay you back? You need some money? Water?”
“No need!” You waved him off still smiling.
“You know what- hop in! Let me give you a ride up the road. Save you some miles too.”
You reluctantly agreed, climbing onto the tractor with your new acquaintance. He drove you back up to his main property where you spotted a few different structures and fences in pastures littered with various animals.
You spotted a group of children running towards the sound of the approaching tractor. Two boys and a younger girl trailing behind them. You assume d they must be the children he spoke of earlier. Immediately the group of kids were rushing right up to the machine as he parked it.
Michael cut the engine, letting you to hop off first.
The children’s shouts for their father quieted as they recognized you. Soon all three began yelling over on another excitedly the young girl shamelessly grabbing at your shirt as she hopped up and down. You couldn’t even focus on one voice to understand an ounce of what they were saying.
Hearing all the commotion, a woman appearing to be around Michael’s age emerged from the barn. She was wearing a floral long sleeve under a baggy pair of overalls that she had tucked into her boots. A wide hat obscured a lot of her face to you as she approached.
“What in the world is all the fuss about?” She shouted at them, clearly irritated he wasn’t still working the field. The kids quieted down as she approached.
“That damn battery!“ He started to explain. “Thankful for this little lady passing by to give me a jump- asked the lord for some juice for the battery and he sent me an angel.” You laughed along with him at the comparison.
The woman tipped her hat back, revealing her sun-kissed skin. A look of surprise wiped across her face.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph.” The woman’s face contorted into a look of recognition as she reached to shake your hand. Her free hand then reached to clasp around your hand in hers fully. You smiled, while you introduced yourself properly to his wife.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what has got you out all the way out here?” She asked you.
That was a good question. You had been hitchhiking around for a few weeks now with no plan in sight. You shrugged a little with a small laugh.
“Sightseeing, I guess.”
The young boys snickered.
“What kinda sights you think you’ll be seeing out here?” The older asked in a sarcastic voice, distaste layered in his tone.
“Gabriel.” The woman scolded him.
“Momma! Momma! Can she please stay for supper!” The little girl on your arm tugged you again.
“Well, I don’t see why not? It’s the least we can do as a thank you.”
The woman’s eyes shifted to you with a quiet plea, expression shining with sincerity.
“Well, maybe if you ask her real nicely, she might just say yes.”
“Um-um,” the girl messily pushed hair out her face as she began to speak, wide eyes staring up at you. “Will you- can- do you wanna eat supper with us?”
The look on their parents face gave you a feeling they wouldn’t take a no very kindly.
“I would love to.”
The girl jumped as she squealed in excitement still gripping the flannel you wore. Her brothers looked equally excited as well.
“Can she show us her lightning?” The younger boy asked his mother.
You laughed. You had absolutely nothing to do with the weather.
“Idiot!” The older boy pushed at his brother. “That’s Thor!“
Their mother scolded them with a pointed expression.
“What? I’m right!” He defended himself.
“We do not call our bother’s names.”
The girl on your arm began trying to tug you over to a pasture.
“C’mon! C’mon! I’ll show you all of the am-nals!” She excitedly stumbled over her words. “And- and I’ll tell you all their names!”
“His name was Michael.” You randomly blurted.
“What?”
“The farmer.”
“You remember that?”
You shrugged.
“Not sure how I ended up in bumfuck Oaklahoma, but, yeah, they were a nice family.” Your brain supplied you with more information on the memory.
“How cute.” Yelena hummed.
You were interrupted by three quick heavy knocks on the door to Kate’s apartment.
tag list: @s0urw00lf @callsignwidow @charlothee @lovesflourmorethananything @iminlesbians @loverofwomenswrongs @baylegend6 @ghostofjuliuscaesar
HANNAH EINBINDER photographed by Sandy Honig for Polyester Magazine
I may not have 30 years. But I think I have another hour.
HACKS (2021—2026) 5x10 "Hacks" dir. Lucia Aniello
But we're good together. I don't want to be here. I want to be wherever you are.
maybe, just maybe
Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader
Summary: The consequences of confessing your feelings to someone else then having Carol find out about it too.
Warning: (18+), fluff | 2k words
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Cardboard boxes in tones of brown and some appeared with faded graphics in various dimensions were allocated in the spacious kitchen. The style of the room follows a touch of a classic American kitchen, and the few selections of modern electronics. However, the attractive space looked messier at that moment. Boxes stacked over the other, some unpacked with objects laid untidily on the counter top, plates and bowls placed hazardously by the edge of the kitchen sink.
Amidst the apparent chaos that occurs while moving from one location to another, or for this specific case, one spaceship to a landed house—you had found solace by the window, and was seated comfortably on the chair opposite the petite wooden table.
The pictures that were scattered in front of you, holds a vast contrast from the ebony shade table. Old and new, tattered at certain edges, white uneven stripes from folding and unfolding the pictures, and the coarse texture on some as your fingers tenderly trace these memories. A glimpse of life capture through pieces of photograph, the ones you knew and the ones only spoken through elapsed memories. This was all, irreplaceable memories that your heart couldn’t fathom discarding from probing through the box labelled with pictres.
The utter look of concentration on Carol’s face as she wrote that word still lingers warmly in your mind. It diminished into a sweet smile when she noticed your attention on her. You had perceived her mistake after she had proudly pointed towards the rows of labelled boxes. The furrows of her eyebrows after, it didn’t provide an answer as to why you were trying to stop yourself from laughing.
Alike the picture you were admiring, Carol holds a similar emphasis of sweetness in her smile. It was different in some ways, older by years or grown with experience. Though, her smile still hints at her tender heart, someone who’s ready to risk her life for those she loves or simply those who she knew deserves more than corruption. Carol was the same in some ways, opting to fix mistakes that wasn’t hers, and accepting the ones triggered by her own hands.
The soft patter of feet on the wooden floor doesn’t halt your sheer admiration for the pictured woman. It was sounds, the taps of something, but nothing compared to the thoughts that flows through in your mind.
What was so funny that this picture appeared in blurry display of wide smiles? Why was she feigning annoyance while her eyes exhibited such joy? What song was playing here that she was smiling till the lines by her mouth appeared in utter delight?
Questions flows through one after another. Many of which would remain the same. Questions asked for your heart, in your mind, and never for her to hear.
“You should tell her how you feel.”
A shriek erupts from your throat. One hand hastily clutching a picture while the other laid flat on your chest, where your heart beats piercingly.
The reason, Aunty Maneaba standing by the kitchen entrance with a large copper plate in her hands.
“Aunty!” you groaned, wide eyes meeting those glinting in amusement. “Are you trying to kill me? Don’t sneak up on people like that! I’m still too young!”
Muneeba laughed and shakes her head at the noticeable shock on your face. She continued her purpose of arranging the items in the kitchen or pretended, the assumption made by her eyes peering over each item she picked to observe you. Silence engulfs the space, besides for the sound of cardboard scrapping over the other and the clatter of silverware.
A gentle smile resurfaced on your face as your gaze fell upon a photograph of Carol and a very unimpressed Goose. The feelings rushed through like they had never left.
It’s perfect.
If you haven’t noticed the attentive gaze established on you, if you had pretended that the task in your hands was far more important than casual conversations, and if you didn’t contemplate the words spoken from someone who you considered family.
Aunty Muneeba wasn’t of your blood, but she treated you as part of her family. The relationship begun at the peak of life and death, flattering to inviting you for dinner at her home and providing a shoulder of comfort for hours when you missed days that was saturated in innocence.
“Don’t look at me like that, beta. It’s your life, who am I to judge?” Muneeba addressed, her gaze fell on the pictures then meeting your eyes again.
You weren’t aware when your round eyes had shifted to her. The look of confusion, worry, and feelings that left you unable to express yourself correctly. You tried ignoring her presence by arranging the pictures into a stack, but the hum that resonates through her throat and a sigh that leaves yours, doesn’t allow it.
“It’s not— why are you,” you paused as your tongue tucked behind your teeth.
“You know how Kamala is, always blabbering about Captain Marvel this, Captain Marvel that, Carol and Y/n should date…” her eyebrows arched, as if challenging you to continue the lines of apparent lies that she caught.
Embarrassment floods your body with warmth. The hesitate shake of your head doesn’t attest to your denial. “Auntyji, it’s not like that. We’re just good friends!” you excused, emphasising your respect for her with the given term.
A scoffed was met by your rambles that soon followed. “Ha ha ha, sure beta, very good friends. Me and your uncle are good friends too,” she grumbled while advancing to where you sat, and takes the empty seat opposite you. “Now, tell me, who taught you to tell lies because you are terrible at it.”
You allow yourself to laugh as the teasing glint in her eyes returned, dismissing the incited tense moment. “For your information, I hate lying.”
Muneeba’s hand reached for yours. The gesture mimic one shared between a mother and her child. “It’s not wrong to like the girl. I can understand why you’re so attracted to her. Carol is a very nice girl.”
The shaky breath that released from your throat, equals with the trembles of your hands to your heart that wasn’t expecting for such conversation to happen. It was a secret attraction. You were quiet about it.
It just feels that, falling for someone like Carol—the fall doesn’t ever reach an end and neither would those arms embrace your body.
“Didn’t you threatened Carol like a few days ago?” you questioned. “I think there was a threat in there for me too.”
Muneeba rolled her eyes then she stared at you, her gaze softening at your attempt of diverting the conversation. “That was before you became family.”
You struggled to hold yourself from shedding those tears awoken by her gesture. Another excuse almost slips from your mouth, but she manages to hold her glare on you with a look that both provided you comfort and made your nervous.
Maybe Kamala wasn’t lying about her mother’s special ability.
“Okay, fine. I have feelings for Carol, very deep feelings that my heart hurts when I’m away from her,” you confessed, a single tear escapes as pathetically rushed to wipe your cheek.
It's silent for a moment. A deep breath from you, the proud smile on her face, and the unexpected voice that followed with a taunting question.
“You have feelings for me?”
The found solace disrupted at first by your aunt’s confrontation then this, the undesirable revelation to said person who was the reason of such conversation. It triggers the abrupt beats of your heart, abandoned were your hands to their own agony while Muneeba seems to assume it was the best by the show of her thumbs up, accompanied by a reassuring smile as you actively tried delaying her escape.
“What Yusuf? I’m coming!” she proclaimed, and shared a look that conveyed the necessity for you to speak about your feeling for Carol.
You take a deep breath after her departure. The fire instigated at your confession only stirs the uneasiness in your chest as your head hangs low, unwilling to meet the gentle eyes swirling in hues of brown, or any sort of reject exposed by the look on her face.
“You heard everything?” you had timidly asked, hands absently spreading widely on the table as an attempt to find stillness from the horrid circumstance. “Let’s pretend that it didn’t happen. Yeah? Anyway, I need to find Kamala because it’s getting too quiet, and you know it’s never a good thing when—”
Rambles of words that spew from your mouth in rapid speed. Body following the same pace as you stood, pushing the chair back and cringing at the scratchy sound that reverberates, it worsens as your hurried steps caused your body to almost knock into the blonde that hastily held onto your waist.
Carol had stepped forward at the correct moment. Cold hands pressed familiarly by each side of your waist, far too knowing of that affectionate touch that settled your thrashing heart and mind for a moment.
“No,” Carol spoke with the soft shake of her head as she continued, “You said you have feelings for me.”
Those warm eyes remained on yours, seemingly staring into your soul that you found yourself tracing each spec of brown hues in her eyes, noticing the way her pupils were widen or how her eyes were so attentively on you, admiring the way the sun had shone perfectly on her glowing skin, how her golden hair appeared so soft that you wondered how it felt for your fingers to thread through—
A soft whisper of your name had forced your gaze to shift to her mouth, focusing on the curl of her lips or how she parted her mouth to speak. Another murmur of your name and you meet her eyes again.
“Maybe,” you breathed out.
The attempt of looking away had met with failure. It wasn’t easy, not when her eyes and embrace felt strangely familiar. Like a feeling of home was roused by her sheer presence. An addicting feeling that lured your body closer, despite the uncertain steps backward.
“Maybe?” Carol questioned, a conflicted tone in her voice. “Just maybe?”
It shouldn’t be that hard, to agree with her question and make an exit with reasons of searching for the young girl. But why was she smiling at you? What was the reason for the teasing glint in her eyes as she muttered the same word of maybe?
“If I was to ask…for a kiss…you wouldn’t say no?”
However, the response comes so naturally as you smiled at her.
“Nah, I wouldn’t kiss you just cause you’re Captain Marvel.”
The teasing begins at that moment, shy smiles equip with the tender touch of her hands over your waist then one raised to your cheek, warmly stroking the skin beneath her pad of her fingers. It’s so easy for you to lean into her touch that blooms a contented warmth in your chest.
“Would you kiss me if I’m Carol Danvers, and I’ve had the biggest crush on you since the first time you fixed my ship?” Carol’s voice wavered slightly at the question.
You swallowed thickly. “I— you don’t— okay, Carol— you really don’t have to pretend, alright, it’s fine—”
The half-spoken words were halted by Carol pressing her forefinger over your lips. Her touch felt soft and feather like. It’s so intimate, so concentrated, that you felt the line print at the pad of her finger, and the rough skin at one corner of her finger.
You heard yourself inhale sharply and the thumps of your heart sounding so clear. As your mouth parted slightly, her hand glides across the curve of your jaw and her body shifted closer. Carol’s hand pressed firmly on your cheek, it trembles for the mere seconds or was it your body reacting to the unanticipated affection. Her palm was cold, then it wasn’t. Perhaps, the warmth that radiates through your body had engulf the cold from her, and you leaned into that singular touch.
Carol stood there. One hand pressed on your cheek while the other grasping your waist, holding your body from collapsing. Her breaths unite with yours, sounding swallow and shaky. It’s hard to comprehend the thrashing feeling in your chest that seems to shift between calm and absolute panic.
It's a fleeting moment—but you perceived the way her gaze had searched for your own then flickered lower to where your mouth remained speechless and lingering for seconds, before returning to start into yours wondering eyes.
To cry, to laugh, to scream…
Instead, your eyes fluttered closed, basking in the goosebumps that appeared on your skin, and the scent of her shampoo that drift through the air as she stepped closer, and you didn’t move this time. The front of her body and yours pressed together.
This was your day dream—Carol wanting you the same way, Carol feeling the similar thumps that resonates through your chest, Carol holding you in ways that doesn’t signify a friendship, Carol having these deep feelings that she was confidently acting upon—and you thought of how this felt perfect.
When your eyes fluttered open, Carol face was the first sight that encouraged the smile on your face, and she was smiling too, despite inching back slightly, doubt creasing her forehead with crooked lines. You realise that she was waiting for answer or a permission. Carol had to know that you wanted this, the intimate touch of her skin over yours, the space that plead to be bridged.
It begins at first with the nod of your head to ensure her then your hands grasped her cheeks and the push of two bodies as your mouth touched hers. You kissed her. A tender trace of lips and the sharp breath from her, then she seemed to leaned back like she was trying to remember the moment.
Was she equally as shock? Did she dreamed of this countless times before that she wouldn’t survive if it wasn’t real? Why was she gawking at you after the shared kiss?
At this point, you would have roused awake with an ache in your chest. Another dream that instigated the reality of your feelings for her. However, this wasn’t another tale dreamed throughout your days together, it was real when she kissed you next. Carol exhaled into your mouth, sliding her body into yours that you wouldn’t know where she started and where you ended.
Her mouth closed around your bottom lip, stirring sounds from you that resonates from your mouth to hers. Fingers threading through her golden hair, one hand pressed at the nape of her neck, and fully feeling like each kiss was the needed breath of air. It’s perfect. The feeling that was once flickers of hopeful thoughts, now appeared in tangible touch.
The soft knocks through a wooden door or the low gasps that followed, neither providing such significant where all that you heart and felt was her. The hands guiding you into her, ready to swallow every sound that erupts from you as her mouth plants one kiss after another. Wordlessly sealing the confession that was expressed in a kitchen that held two hearts blooming in robust feelings for each other.
The murmurs of a confession were shared your lips parted away from her. “I really do like you.”
Something seems to spark from within her as she kissed you again and you felt the smile on her face that transfers into yours. It wasn’t possible, it shouldn’t be, but you felt the sheer bliss that was dispense at your final confession. Another chaste kiss was shared before she leaned her forehead against yours, and both eyes shut closed to savour the significant moment.
Carol’s hands fondly caress your face while your hands were clasped behind her neck. It’s intimate, the embrace of bodies, the space that ceased to exist, the lacked feeling of awkwardness because this was the most pleasant feeling. The sheer act of familiarity and comfort from the first kiss to the next.
“I’m really happy,” her voice carried a tone of vulnerability as she spoke. “Maybe…I like you more than just liking you,” and with that confession, you pushed her shoulder back slightly to fully observe every little notion on her face.
The furrows of your eyebrows were softened by her thumb while you were simply trying to understand if her confession was the same that you had known for yourself. That aching feeling you feared and still couldn’t disregard.
It was like, Carol was ready to confess that she loved you too. That each pulse in her body was accompanied by love for you, she loved you, Carol loves you—
“AWWWW!”
Your head snapped towards the abrupt sound and met the scene of the Khan family gawking at the exchange with the look of excitement and embarrassment on their face. The warmth that rushed to your cheeks seems familiarised when you felt Carol’s hand grasping yours. A common act for your eyes to meet hers that was already staring at the family.
“I told you! Just tell the lovely girl about how you feel…”
The roars of conversation followed at that, some arguing of their success while the other gushing of the confession they had witness. As if, you weren’t there or that Carol wasn’t staring at you like you were the only person there, like she was so impatient for you to know that her heart felt the same too.
Carol tugs your hand and her eyes pointed towards the other exit as you both silently walked out the kitchen and left the eager family to their argument for helping you both.
For once, it wasn’t a feeble dream. Proven once again by the kiss shared outside the kitchen, and the one pressed over your linked hands. Carol whispered of that blooming feeling which you swore upon seconds after, and kissing her to fully express how this was it—everything and more.
hi! if you enjoyed this, do consider buying me a coffee 💜
Male marvel's all overrated
Female marvel's all underrated
LIKE WHY??? it's pissing me off
FACTS!
It's giving males loves looking at males (despite saying they are straight) ((but they still hate seeing women on screen??)).
respectfully, marvel's looking a lot like a male for male who loves looking at males agenda.
goodnight.
ECHO (2024) | 1.02 'Lowak'
Hannah Montana 20th Anniversary Special 💖 Hannah Montana
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED TREENA @figuerothsfaeth
↳ Maya Bishop bisexual disaster (affectionate) + text posts [insp]
i'm stuck in a country that's making a big fuss about "lgbt" and it's now being labeled as "deviant culture" and tbh i feel kinda unsafe ha ha ha.
good morning my dear people on here who might not know me cause i am rarely active here,
situation is far worse cause they're now targeting minorities aka racism is their second language.
i fear that this might be the us 2.0. (yeah definitely)
𝑺𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒃𝒖𝒔
“𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺
𝘐 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘹 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶”
(Cropped) Patreon Spooky Event; NatashaRomanoff/PeggyCarter
eddie + her colourful similes
oh to be musically inclined in the "i've created the most perfect sound because i heard the wind and bam, here's a full length song that has changed my life!" because this would be at every moment of my life:
dynamics i've been wanting to gif: maya & carina - station 19 What you and I have is fantastico, Maya. It's ours. It's just ours.
