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@medic-suggestions
obligatory pinned post
donât follow me if youre gonna be weird, dont make this weird
donât eat things you find on the floor
scout do not call me about your heart palpitations again. i do not care
[ooc] my name is waltz fantasia i use he/him and angelself pronouns, my main is waltzmellotron and you can find my carrd there too if you want a more in depth DNI. i might edit this later if i have anything to add, but for now thats what i got
hi! don@te to me instead of ao3. my dad unexpectedly died on the 5th and my family is struggling hard as he was the only mon3y - maker of the house. help a bisexual now-single mom, her three queer kids, and two babies out?
weâve gotten a huge amount of incredibly generous donations already, but grocery bills alone before my dad passed were over 400 dollars a week, and GFM taxes donations, so it will run out fast. on top of that, the money from the GFM is mainly being used right now for the celebration of life and our moving costs, and the money takes time to be processed so we donât get it all at once. we canât get into my dadâs life insurance, 401k, workmans comp, etc. until the death certificate is sent out, and right now his death is still being investigated, so we donât have access to any of that. our living situation is secure as we will be moving in with my motherâs parents & brother at the end of november, but my grandma has left her job to help us at home until we move and my grandpa doesnât make enough money alone to support my family of 6 and his family of 3 and all of our pets combined.
https:// gofund(.)me /c368bd3a
remove the spaces and parentheses, tumblr hates l1nks.
hyper realistic dog animation
watch talking heads music videos and take notes on david byrnes big suit
going on indefinite hiatus for personal health reasons + to cope w a family emergency. i hope to be back soon, and if i dont pick this blog back up, thank you all for entertaining me in this âĄ
if you're going to be doing people's top surgery, will you promise not to put like clocks in our rib cages or replace our hearts with jaguar ones or something
i do love doing weird shit, but i respect the sanctity of top surgery and i can promise you i wonât fuck up your organs
can you do my top surgery
duh. obviously
youâre giving people wings!? I WANT WINGS
yknow what, fuck yeah, come on down
hoorah! i will soar as high as the bestest american eagle!
eagle wings? i can make it happen. any other specifications?
i will look just like america! my eagle!
... works for me!
[he starts looking around in a drawer labeled "spare parts". gross...]
whatâs in there!?... what is that.
[he points at a vial full of something wriggly]
oh, that? just a piece of liver. i don't know why it's moving.
hmm... okay... when do i get wings?!
right now! [he pulls out what looks to be an extended human femur.]
take your shirt off and lie down on your stomach right on that there table, if you please.
ok!
[he lies down on the table]
letâs get right to it!
[surgery sounds]
ooh, i almost forgot- remind me to give you a dose of eagle DNA before i let you leave.
ok, doc!
....what are you actually doing?
well, first off i'm grafting these bones to you, then i'll put some muscles and ligaments on said bones, then i'll hit ya with some growth hormones so the skin grows over them faster, then the eagle DNA will make the feathers grow in!
oh, ok!
[he understood maybe four words from that sentence]
how long will this take?
not long at all, not long at all... iâm already nearly halfway done!
[time for some surgery small talk] so dyou have any new battlefield stories? iâve heard shitâs gotten really weird over at red base.
yes! just a couple days ago i blew up the red sniper! he seemed very mad.
what have you been up to, doc?
well, lately iâve been workshopping how i could one-up the red teamâs medic, and it seems like iâve figured out the perfect thing. heâs got one teammate with wings? well, buddy, iâve got TWO.
get injected with growth hormones
deep breath in... aaaand exhale.
looking sharp! letâs get some bandages on these terrible meat-appendages, and then you can head out.
youâre giving people wings!? I WANT WINGS
yknow what, fuck yeah, come on down
hoorah! i will soar as high as the bestest american eagle!
eagle wings? i can make it happen. any other specifications?
i will look just like america! my eagle!
... works for me!
[he starts looking around in a drawer labeled "spare parts". gross...]
whatâs in there!?... what is that.
[he points at a vial full of something wriggly]
oh, that? just a piece of liver. i don't know why it's moving.
hmm... okay... when do i get wings?!
right now! [he pulls out what looks to be an extended human femur.]
take your shirt off and lie down on your stomach right on that there table, if you please.
ok!
[he lies down on the table]
letâs get right to it!
[surgery sounds]
ooh, i almost forgot- remind me to give you a dose of eagle DNA before i let you leave.
ok, doc!
....what are you actually doing?
well, first off i'm grafting these bones to you, then i'll put some muscles and ligaments on said bones, then i'll hit ya with some growth hormones so the skin grows over them faster, then the eagle DNA will make the feathers grow in!
oh, ok!
[he understood maybe four words from that sentence]
how long will this take?
not long at all, not long at all... iâm already nearly halfway done!
[time for some surgery small talk] so dyou have any new battlefield stories? iâve heard shitâs gotten really weird over at red base.
yeah but give him feathers and he'll look like a stupid little chicken running around and it would me funny
......
yeah youre right
WHAT what oh hi wassup
hi. do you want to be a bird
...yâknow what, sure, why not
HELL yeah come to the medbay ill turn your whole shit into birds
yeah aight letâs do this
okay iâve already decided what kind of bird youâre going to be itâs a chicken OK? lay down
i donât think thatâs gonna help me fly?? but okay ig??
who said you were going to fly? [heâs already got his scalpel out]
fuck i guess
okay now say "ah" please :)
[he holds out a vial labeled "chicken dna". why does he have that.]
i am having second doubts. can i get a bird that can actually fly maybe
like what, hm?
actually, yes, i do. like- uhm- doves, i guess? you like those, right? i mean you keep doves, so-
oh! why didn't you say something? i've done doves before.
[away goes the chicken dna, and out comes the dove dna.]
okay, *now* say ah.
(He kind of sighs in relief, opening his mouth. he doesn't really understand how this is supposed to work but. medic's a doctor!)
[he dumps the entire vial into his mouth. it tastes like artificial grape.]
there, thatâs step one! now even after the surgery youâll keep on growing healthy, beautiful feathers. time for that surgery part!
(he kind of makes a face, not expecting the taste.)
oh. why does. huh.
donât ask questions you arenât prepared to know the answers to!
[he turns and starts rummaging through a drawer labeled âspare partsâ.]
now, if youâd be so kind as to lose the shirt and lay down,
(He does as asked, sighing at the twink comment.)
Man. this'll be cool at least.
cool is certainly one way to phrase it.
femur for the short bit, bigger femur for the long bit, half an ulna for the shorter bit, tendons to tie it all together... alright! weâre all set! donât move.
[surgery sounds]
you went on vacation recently, right? got any fun stories from that?
Uh- Yeah! i went to go visit my ma, then i just kinda..spent the rest of it in my room, doinâ whatever. It was nice to relax for once.
sounds like fun! oops, didnât mean to snip that muscle there- eesh.
it was cool. hey, are you like? building the wings from scratch? heard you talking about ulnas n shit.
sure am! they donât really make dove wings in people size, see.
wow, thatâs...pretty freakinâ impressive.
oh! ... thank you!
[he totally stops for a second. he wasnt expecting that...]
yeah, âcourse.
...so..feathers, huh. are you gonna attach them one by one or something?
well, the way it will probably work is that after i attach the bones, muscles, and ligaments, the skin will grow over it, and then once *that* is done, the feathers will start to come in because of the dove DNA!
[he says this as if itâs just totally normal.]
Uhuh....so...how long is that gonna take?
well, naturally it would take at least a few months, but i can expedite the process with growth hormones if youâd like!
Yeah, sure. Itâd probably make it so theyâll be ready by the next battle! Iâm so stocked for this!!
(Please settle down before Medic ruptures something on accident sir.)
maybe not the NEXT battle, but certainly the one after. if you want them to heal faster, youâll have to be *very delicate* with them.
Aggghh, fine...
Only because I want them to be super strong and stuff! Yeah...
you will get your cool strong wings in time, herr scout. in the meantime [grunt] youâll have weird meat sticks hanging off of your back! [huff, huff.] whoo, this is a workout.
Wild. Will it hurt?
if you leave the bandages off, oh yeah, itâll sting.
Okay, okay....makes sense. What am I supposed to say to the others? Iâm guessinâ these arenât so temporary.
just say that it's genetic, i dunno.
youâre giving people wings!? I WANT WINGS
yknow what, fuck yeah, come on down
hoorah! i will soar as high as the bestest american eagle!
eagle wings? i can make it happen. any other specifications?
i will look just like america! my eagle!
... works for me!
[he starts looking around in a drawer labeled "spare parts". gross...]
whatâs in there!?... what is that.
[he points at a vial full of something wriggly]
oh, that? just a piece of liver. i don't know why it's moving.
hmm... okay... when do i get wings?!
right now! [he pulls out what looks to be an extended human femur.]
take your shirt off and lie down on your stomach right on that there table, if you please.
ok!
[he lies down on the table]
letâs get right to it!
[surgery sounds]
ooh, i almost forgot- remind me to give you a dose of eagle DNA before i let you leave.
ok, doc!
....what are you actually doing?
well, first off i'm grafting these bones to you, then i'll put some muscles and ligaments on said bones, then i'll hit ya with some growth hormones so the skin grows over them faster, then the eagle DNA will make the feathers grow in!
yeah but give him feathers and he'll look like a stupid little chicken running around and it would me funny
......
yeah youre right
WHAT what oh hi wassup
hi. do you want to be a bird
...yâknow what, sure, why not
HELL yeah come to the medbay ill turn your whole shit into birds
yeah aight letâs do this
okay iâve already decided what kind of bird youâre going to be itâs a chicken OK? lay down
i donât think thatâs gonna help me fly?? but okay ig??
who said you were going to fly? [heâs already got his scalpel out]
fuck i guess
okay now say "ah" please :)
[he holds out a vial labeled "chicken dna". why does he have that.]
i am having second doubts. can i get a bird that can actually fly maybe
like what, hm?
actually, yes, i do. like- uhm- doves, i guess? you like those, right? i mean you keep doves, so-
oh! why didn't you say something? i've done doves before.
[away goes the chicken dna, and out comes the dove dna.]
okay, *now* say ah.
(He kind of sighs in relief, opening his mouth. he doesn't really understand how this is supposed to work but. medic's a doctor!)
[he dumps the entire vial into his mouth. it tastes like artificial grape.]
there, thatâs step one! now even after the surgery youâll keep on growing healthy, beautiful feathers. time for that surgery part!
(he kind of makes a face, not expecting the taste.)
oh. why does. huh.
donât ask questions you arenât prepared to know the answers to!
[he turns and starts rummaging through a drawer labeled âspare partsâ.]
now, if youâd be so kind as to lose the shirt and lay down,
(He does as asked, sighing at the twink comment.)
Man. this'll be cool at least.
cool is certainly one way to phrase it.
femur for the short bit, bigger femur for the long bit, half an ulna for the shorter bit, tendons to tie it all together... alright! weâre all set! donât move.
[surgery sounds]
you went on vacation recently, right? got any fun stories from that?
Uh- Yeah! i went to go visit my ma, then i just kinda..spent the rest of it in my room, doinâ whatever. It was nice to relax for once.
sounds like fun! oops, didnât mean to snip that muscle there- eesh.
it was cool. hey, are you like? building the wings from scratch? heard you talking about ulnas n shit.
sure am! they donât really make dove wings in people size, see.
wow, thatâs...pretty freakinâ impressive.
oh! ... thank you!
[he totally stops for a second. he wasnt expecting that...]
yeah, âcourse.
...so..feathers, huh. are you gonna attach them one by one or something?
well, the way it will probably work is that after i attach the bones, muscles, and ligaments, the skin will grow over it, and then once *that* is done, the feathers will start to come in because of the dove DNA!
[he says this as if itâs just totally normal.]
Uhuh....so...how long is that gonna take?
well, naturally it would take at least a few months, but i can expedite the process with growth hormones if youâd like!
Yeah, sure. Itâd probably make it so theyâll be ready by the next battle! Iâm so stocked for this!!
(Please settle down before Medic ruptures something on accident sir.)
maybe not the NEXT battle, but certainly the one after. if you want them to heal faster, youâll have to be *very delicate* with them.
Aggghh, fine...
Only because I want them to be super strong and stuff! Yeah...
you will get your cool strong wings in time, herr scout. in the meantime [grunt] youâll have weird meat sticks hanging off of your back! [huff, huff.] whoo, this is a workout.
Wild. Will it hurt?
if you leave the bandages off, oh yeah, itâll sting.
yeah but give him feathers and he'll look like a stupid little chicken running around and it would me funny
......
yeah youre right
WHAT what oh hi wassup
hi. do you want to be a bird
...yâknow what, sure, why not
HELL yeah come to the medbay ill turn your whole shit into birds
yeah aight letâs do this
okay iâve already decided what kind of bird youâre going to be itâs a chicken OK? lay down
i donât think thatâs gonna help me fly?? but okay ig??
who said you were going to fly? [heâs already got his scalpel out]
fuck i guess
okay now say "ah" please :)
[he holds out a vial labeled "chicken dna". why does he have that.]
i am having second doubts. can i get a bird that can actually fly maybe
like what, hm?
actually, yes, i do. like- uhm- doves, i guess? you like those, right? i mean you keep doves, so-
oh! why didn't you say something? i've done doves before.
[away goes the chicken dna, and out comes the dove dna.]
okay, *now* say ah.
(He kind of sighs in relief, opening his mouth. he doesn't really understand how this is supposed to work but. medic's a doctor!)
[he dumps the entire vial into his mouth. it tastes like artificial grape.]
there, thatâs step one! now even after the surgery youâll keep on growing healthy, beautiful feathers. time for that surgery part!
(he kind of makes a face, not expecting the taste.)
oh. why does. huh.
donât ask questions you arenât prepared to know the answers to!
[he turns and starts rummaging through a drawer labeled âspare partsâ.]
now, if youâd be so kind as to lose the shirt and lay down,
(He does as asked, sighing at the twink comment.)
Man. this'll be cool at least.
cool is certainly one way to phrase it.
femur for the short bit, bigger femur for the long bit, half an ulna for the shorter bit, tendons to tie it all together... alright! weâre all set! donât move.
[surgery sounds]
you went on vacation recently, right? got any fun stories from that?
Uh- Yeah! i went to go visit my ma, then i just kinda..spent the rest of it in my room, doinâ whatever. It was nice to relax for once.
sounds like fun! oops, didnât mean to snip that muscle there- eesh.
it was cool. hey, are you like? building the wings from scratch? heard you talking about ulnas n shit.
sure am! they donât really make dove wings in people size, see.
wow, thatâs...pretty freakinâ impressive.
oh! ... thank you!
[he totally stops for a second. he wasnt expecting that...]
yeah, âcourse.
...so..feathers, huh. are you gonna attach them one by one or something?
well, the way it will probably work is that after i attach the bones, muscles, and ligaments, the skin will grow over it, and then once *that* is done, the feathers will start to come in because of the dove DNA!
[he says this as if itâs just totally normal.]
Uhuh....so...how long is that gonna take?
well, naturally it would take at least a few months, but i can expedite the process with growth hormones if youâd like!
Yeah, sure. Itâd probably make it so theyâll be ready by the next battle! Iâm so stocked for this!!
(Please settle down before Medic ruptures something on accident sir.)
maybe not the NEXT battle, but certainly the one after. if you want them to heal faster, youâll have to be *very delicate* with them.
Aggghh, fine...
Only because I want them to be super strong and stuff! Yeah...
you will get your cool strong wings in time, herr scout. in the meantime [grunt] youâll have weird meat sticks hanging off of your back! [huff, huff.] whoo, this is a workout.
yeah but give him feathers and he'll look like a stupid little chicken running around and it would me funny
......
yeah youre right
WHAT what oh hi wassup
hi. do you want to be a bird
...yâknow what, sure, why not
HELL yeah come to the medbay ill turn your whole shit into birds
yeah aight letâs do this
okay iâve already decided what kind of bird youâre going to be itâs a chicken OK? lay down
i donât think thatâs gonna help me fly?? but okay ig??
who said you were going to fly? [heâs already got his scalpel out]
fuck i guess
okay now say "ah" please :)
[he holds out a vial labeled "chicken dna". why does he have that.]
i am having second doubts. can i get a bird that can actually fly maybe
like what, hm?
actually, yes, i do. like- uhm- doves, i guess? you like those, right? i mean you keep doves, so-
oh! why didn't you say something? i've done doves before.
[away goes the chicken dna, and out comes the dove dna.]
okay, *now* say ah.
(He kind of sighs in relief, opening his mouth. he doesn't really understand how this is supposed to work but. medic's a doctor!)
[he dumps the entire vial into his mouth. it tastes like artificial grape.]
there, thatâs step one! now even after the surgery youâll keep on growing healthy, beautiful feathers. time for that surgery part!
(he kind of makes a face, not expecting the taste.)
oh. why does. huh.
donât ask questions you arenât prepared to know the answers to!
[he turns and starts rummaging through a drawer labeled âspare partsâ.]
now, if youâd be so kind as to lose the shirt and lay down,
(He does as asked, sighing at the twink comment.)
Man. this'll be cool at least.
cool is certainly one way to phrase it.
femur for the short bit, bigger femur for the long bit, half an ulna for the shorter bit, tendons to tie it all together... alright! weâre all set! donât move.
[surgery sounds]
you went on vacation recently, right? got any fun stories from that?
Uh- Yeah! i went to go visit my ma, then i just kinda..spent the rest of it in my room, doinâ whatever. It was nice to relax for once.
sounds like fun! oops, didnât mean to snip that muscle there- eesh.
it was cool. hey, are you like? building the wings from scratch? heard you talking about ulnas n shit.
sure am! they donât really make dove wings in people size, see.
wow, thatâs...pretty freakinâ impressive.
oh! ... thank you!
[he totally stops for a second. he wasnt expecting that...]
yeah, âcourse.
...so..feathers, huh. are you gonna attach them one by one or something?
well, the way it will probably work is that after i attach the bones, muscles, and ligaments, the skin will grow over it, and then once *that* is done, the feathers will start to come in because of the dove DNA!
[he says this as if itâs just totally normal.]
Uhuh....so...how long is that gonna take?
well, naturally it would take at least a few months, but i can expedite the process with growth hormones if youâd like!
Yeah, sure. Itâd probably make it so theyâll be ready by the next battle! Iâm so stocked for this!!
(Please settle down before Medic ruptures something on accident sir.)
maybe not the NEXT battle, but certainly the one after. if you want them to heal faster, youâll have to be *very delicate* with them.
yeah but give him feathers and he'll look like a stupid little chicken running around and it would me funny
......
yeah youre right
WHAT what oh hi wassup
hi. do you want to be a bird
...yâknow what, sure, why not
HELL yeah come to the medbay ill turn your whole shit into birds
yeah aight letâs do this
okay iâve already decided what kind of bird youâre going to be itâs a chicken OK? lay down
i donât think thatâs gonna help me fly?? but okay ig??
who said you were going to fly? [heâs already got his scalpel out]
fuck i guess
okay now say "ah" please :)
[he holds out a vial labeled "chicken dna". why does he have that.]
i am having second doubts. can i get a bird that can actually fly maybe
like what, hm?
actually, yes, i do. like- uhm- doves, i guess? you like those, right? i mean you keep doves, so-
oh! why didn't you say something? i've done doves before.
[away goes the chicken dna, and out comes the dove dna.]
okay, *now* say ah.
(He kind of sighs in relief, opening his mouth. he doesn't really understand how this is supposed to work but. medic's a doctor!)
[he dumps the entire vial into his mouth. it tastes like artificial grape.]
there, thatâs step one! now even after the surgery youâll keep on growing healthy, beautiful feathers. time for that surgery part!
(he kind of makes a face, not expecting the taste.)
oh. why does. huh.
donât ask questions you arenât prepared to know the answers to!
[he turns and starts rummaging through a drawer labeled âspare partsâ.]
now, if youâd be so kind as to lose the shirt and lay down,
(He does as asked, sighing at the twink comment.)
Man. this'll be cool at least.
cool is certainly one way to phrase it.
femur for the short bit, bigger femur for the long bit, half an ulna for the shorter bit, tendons to tie it all together... alright! weâre all set! donât move.
[surgery sounds]
you went on vacation recently, right? got any fun stories from that?
Uh- Yeah! i went to go visit my ma, then i just kinda..spent the rest of it in my room, doinâ whatever. It was nice to relax for once.
sounds like fun! oops, didnât mean to snip that muscle there- eesh.
it was cool. hey, are you like? building the wings from scratch? heard you talking about ulnas n shit.
sure am! they donât really make dove wings in people size, see.
wow, thatâs...pretty freakinâ impressive.
oh! ... thank you!
[he totally stops for a second. he wasnt expecting that...]
yeah, âcourse.
...so..feathers, huh. are you gonna attach them one by one or something?
well, the way it will probably work is that after i attach the bones, muscles, and ligaments, the skin will grow over it, and then once *that* is done, the feathers will start to come in because of the dove DNA!
[he says this as if itâs just totally normal.]
Uhuh....so...how long is that gonna take?
well, naturally it would take at least a few months, but i can expedite the process with growth hormones if youâd like!
yeah but give him feathers and he'll look like a stupid little chicken running around and it would me funny
......
yeah youre right
WHAT what oh hi wassup
hi. do you want to be a bird
...yâknow what, sure, why not
HELL yeah come to the medbay ill turn your whole shit into birds
yeah aight letâs do this
okay iâve already decided what kind of bird youâre going to be itâs a chicken OK? lay down
i donât think thatâs gonna help me fly?? but okay ig??
who said you were going to fly? [heâs already got his scalpel out]
fuck i guess
okay now say "ah" please :)
[he holds out a vial labeled "chicken dna". why does he have that.]
i am having second doubts. can i get a bird that can actually fly maybe
like what, hm?
actually, yes, i do. like- uhm- doves, i guess? you like those, right? i mean you keep doves, so-
oh! why didn't you say something? i've done doves before.
[away goes the chicken dna, and out comes the dove dna.]
okay, *now* say ah.
(He kind of sighs in relief, opening his mouth. he doesn't really understand how this is supposed to work but. medic's a doctor!)
[he dumps the entire vial into his mouth. it tastes like artificial grape.]
there, thatâs step one! now even after the surgery youâll keep on growing healthy, beautiful feathers. time for that surgery part!
(he kind of makes a face, not expecting the taste.)
oh. why does. huh.
donât ask questions you arenât prepared to know the answers to!
[he turns and starts rummaging through a drawer labeled âspare partsâ.]
now, if youâd be so kind as to lose the shirt and lay down,
(He does as asked, sighing at the twink comment.)
Man. this'll be cool at least.
cool is certainly one way to phrase it.
femur for the short bit, bigger femur for the long bit, half an ulna for the shorter bit, tendons to tie it all together... alright! weâre all set! donât move.
[surgery sounds]
you went on vacation recently, right? got any fun stories from that?
Uh- Yeah! i went to go visit my ma, then i just kinda..spent the rest of it in my room, doinâ whatever. It was nice to relax for once.
sounds like fun! oops, didnât mean to snip that muscle there- eesh.
it was cool. hey, are you like? building the wings from scratch? heard you talking about ulnas n shit.
sure am! they donât really make dove wings in people size, see.
look at this loser who doesn't know how to make bird wings people size
iâm going to amputate your big toe and reattach it to your forehead
you're going to try
if i werent doing surgery literally right now as we speak i would be chasing you through your own baseâs halls
