So I’m making this anonymous only because I don’t want to feel I’m looking for too much attention, but my dog died today completely unexpectedly and I feel like shit 😰 could I pretty please request something with Easy and dogs. If this is not your forte I totally understand ☺️
Oh god, darling, I’m so sorry. Losing a pet is a pain unlike any other, almost like losing a part of yourself... as much as you’re hurting right now, just remember your dog always knew they were loved, and loved you back just as much. You gave your pup a great life, and wherever they are now, they still love you.
If you’re looking for Easy and dogs, I have a few fics you might like:
baberoe has a dog incident
luztoye has another dog incident
bullmartin and yet another dog incident
winnix has a colorful dog incident (soulmate au!)
not a fic, but a very accurate edit of easy co as dogs
And here’s something soft and puppyish... hopefully it makes you feel better!
Sometimes people seek out a new pet; sometimes, they have pet-parenthood thrust upon them.
In Joe Liebgott’s case, it happens literally. Someone leaves a wine box on the floor of his cab; he notices a few minutes after he drops the guy off, and he’s just doubling back to try and find him when the box starts squeaking.
Joe almost crashes the car.
As if turns out, the box’s precious cargo isn’t liquor, but... puppies. An absurd amount of puppies. Mind you, Joe’s never owned a dog in his life, so more than two puppies seems like an absurd amount to him, and there’s gotta be, like... six in here. Six squirming balls of fur, can’t be more than a few weeks old. Their eyes are hardly open yet. They’re climbing over each other to escape the box as soon as Joe opens it... but everything they can’t say, the sharpie scribbled on the inside of the cardboard speaks for itself.
FREE PUPPIES, DO NOT RETURN
Which... shit. Shit. Joe races through all the possibilities in his mind. The guy didn’t give his name, and paid in cash. He dropped him off at the airport. He could be damn anywhere right now!
And god help him if Joe has the first clue what to do with literal infant dogs.
Logic tells him, “go to the animal hospital now,” but he’s never been there in his life --- and aren’t those places overcrowded anyway? They’re in the middle of Santa Monica, there’ve got to be multiple animal shelters around, but god help him if he knows where any are...
Joe goes home. He panics, okay?
He has to sneak past the doorman, through the lobby, and into the elevator with a very conspicuous wine box that keeps making noises. The old lady from the fourth floor glares at him the whole ride up, and Joe can only nod his head at her while a tiny head pokes out a hole in the cardboard.
Web isn’t home, for once, because he has a lunch date with his editor; Joe almost wishes he was, because having someone else to bounce off of in this situation would be a great thing. Left to his own devices, however, he does the only thing he can think of; pulls the spare comforter out of the closet, lays it down in the empty bathtub, and dumps the pups in. After some consideration, he adds one of Web’s shark plushies, because the pups are tiny and probably missing their mother.
Their mother... shit, they need their mom, don’t they? Pups that small can’t be without their mom, he knows he saw that on Animal Planet somewhere...
And, because Joe’s got the panic instincts of a twelve year old boy, he calls the one person who definitely knows what to do with a baby: his mom.
Mama Liebgott makes it to the apartment in twenty minutes. Ten minutes later, she’s setting up a heating pad in the puppies’ nest, while Joe scours the internet for how to care for newborn puppies. Mama calls in the troops --- Joe’s sisters are on their way.
They send Joe out of the apartment with a list; when he comes back, his arms are weighed down with shopping bags, filled with formula, eyedroppers, puppy toys, and anything else little dogs could possibly need. Joe Liebgott is never one to half-ass shenanigans; he goes all-out.
Webster comes home to... chaos.
Their bathroom has been turned into an improvised NICU, their apartment’s been sanitized and baby-proofed to high-hell, Joe’s mother and sisters are lounging around the living room with tiny bundles of something in their arms...
And in the middle of the chaos, Joe’s standing there, a blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms, bouncing it and cooing softly.
“Yeah, you’re a tough one, arencha, little buddy? Yeah... I see it in ya. You’re a fighter. We’re gonna take good care of you, I promise...”
He has no clue what the hell is going on, but Webster melts. To the floor. Literally, his legs get a little weak.
“Uh --- Lieb? You wanna explain what on earth’s h--- is that a dog?”
Joe just grins. He’s never been an animal person in his life, but now he looks like he’s in heaven. “Dogs,” he declares. “We’ve got dogs, Web.”’
Webster has entered the Twilight Zone.
When they take them to the vet (Webster’s idea, because he actually has common sense), the puppies are given a clean bill of health, but as they’re definitely too young to be separated from their mother, there’s a laundry list of things that must be done to take care of them. The vet offers to take the puppies off their hands, and Webster has a brief moment of overwhelming relief, before Joe answers, “Thank you, but we got this.”
Webster drops his coffee all over the exam room floor. “We?” He demands, too shocked to form a cohesive sentence. “We?”
Joe’s eyes flash. “Fine, Web. You don’t gotta be involved, I’ll take care of ‘em myself. Found ‘em in my car, after all.”
“I live with you, asshole!”
And that’s how Webster and Liebgott become Dog Moms.
Of course Web’s going to help. He’s not a monster. He’s actually a pretty decent person, when push comes to shove... and, once the Liebgott Crisis Team have all returned to their respective homes, he can’t bear to leave Joe to look after the babies by himself.
The worst part is, he’s not even a dog person. Suddenly, he and Joe are being kept up at all hours by a league of puppies. They’re so young that they can’t eat solid food yet, so it’s a round-the-clock task to keep them fed and looked after.
Of course, Joe takes to the task like a diligent soldier, following every direction the vet gave them to a ‘t’. He takes a week off work, devoting himself 24/7 to the puppies’ care. It’s a lot on him. By the end of the fourth day, he’s been run ragged, dark shadows under his eyes and exhaustion knitting his brow. Web makes him some tea, settles him down on the couch, and massages his shoulders until Joe falls asleep. Then he takes on the task of feeding all six puppies by himself.
It’s still worth it. After a few weeks, the puppies don’t need to be fed so frequently... and they’re growing enough that there’s no more containing them in the bathtub. Joe and Web set up a puppy playpen that ends up taking up most of their living room, and set the kids loose.
By now, the pups are old enough to wreak havoc, and starting to develop their own personalities. Shelley and Rocko have a talent for getting into everything, Byron is a biter, Goblin has no coordination and keeps tripping over his oversized feet, Fiona cries when either of them leave her alone, and Greg... Greg is an escape artist. (Bonus points for guessing who named who. They got three pups each.)
Their house becomes a hub of curious friends and relatives. Tab and Shifty are over nearly every day to play with the pups; Joe’s youngest sister Amy keeps coming over too, and Tab won’t stop hitting on her; they wake up one morning to find Luz passed out in the Puppy Pit, tiny dogs clambering all over him, and no one knows how the hell he got in their house. Suddenly Joe and Web are the most popular guys in town.
It’s... weird. Webster’s never been popular before. He’s not sure he likes it.
Weeks turn into months, and at some point, the pups are big enough to clamber around the apartment unaided. The vet estimates they’re twelve weeks old now, and keeping them inside is becoming a big challenge. Their building doesn’t allow dogs, for one, and they have to keep sneaking them past the concierge; potty training is becoming a living nightmare; and frankly, the dogs are getting too big to be cooped up inside all the time. Six newborn puppies is one thing, but six growing dogs... different story.
They need to get rid of the dogs.
Thankfully, they’ve got no shortage of volunteers. Joe’s mom takes Goblin “for protection”, even if Goblin’s the clumsiest little monster that’s ever walked the face of the earth. Luz and Rocko have bonded, so he takes him home. Tab would probably adopt them all if he could, but since he can’t (Trigger is a handful already) Shifty lovingly takes on Shelley. oddly enough, Speirs has formed a special attachment to Fiona, cradling her like a baby and doting on her ever chance he gets, so he gets her. Rocko is a little evil, but he’s cute, and Nixon is a sucker for a cute face, so he gets the chaos demon.
That leaves them with Byron. Freaking Byron.
“Figures we’d get left with the one dog with the worst goddamn name ---”
Joe has a soft spot for Byron. They both like to bite things, growl when they’re angry, and pass out in strange places, so it’s a great fit.
Letting a dog into their lives wasn’t something either of them planned on; but sometimes fate intervenes, and you never know when it will be for the better.
Cuddled up on the couch, with Joe dozing against his shoulder and Byron a heavy weight between them both, Web finds that he doesn’t regret a thing.
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