random incorrect quotes

incorrect quotes from whatever i happen to be interested in (p.s. go follow my main account @salemruinseverything)

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

the girl: Hi I'm 1 years old and learning to read through your posts. Cigarette.

kobra kid: very good job using your words! will someone get this toddling bitch a smoke

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

poison: okay. amended statement:

poison: i will fuck anything WITH a pulse that passes the harkness test and anything WITHOUT a pulse that has never HAD a pulse.

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

jet: started a reward system to help me get tasks done. the reward is when i do a task i get to say the word cowboy

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

2D: *tastes batter* it's missing something.

russel: love in your heart?

murdoc: the souls of the innocent?

noodle: crack cocaine?

2D, walking towards the spice rack: cinnamon.

noodle: the souls of the innocent are a good substitute for cinnamon if we're out.

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

jet: it's so fucked up that we use pig as an insult

jet: do not compare the wonderful and humble swine to the fucking cops

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

scott: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVER POST YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS YOU STUPID FUCK YOU DESERVE TO GET SWATTED

roxy: do you honest to god think my full name is walter hartwell white and I live at 308 negra arroyo lane

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

scott: feel like twitter doesn't care about men who express themselves by sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room meowing #menwhomeow

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

poison, holding a knife with another knife duct-taped to the end: you fuckers dont know about my knife knife

kobra: sword

poison: blocked

jet: parried!

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

kobra: you STEAL my motorcycle. i DON'T have you arrested. i invite you into my home! i try to teach you about the joys of sculpting! i'm forced to wait an HOUR for BAGELS I DIDN'T EVEN WANT!

kobra: AND THEN I COME HOME! TO FIND YOU CHEWING ON MY SIBLING'S FACE.

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

ramona: you're stupid. i like that in a man.

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

ramona: this is my boyfriend scott

ramona: and scott's boyfriend wallace

ramona: and wallace's boyfriend mobile

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

young neil: nintendo ds makes me forget that i don't have any friends :)

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

runaway, about to call the police about johnny "mysteriously" going missing: this is what us among us fans call a self report

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

jet star: zone five mutuals what is there to do that’s cheap and not alcohol based?

volume: bongs at hyperthrust

tommy chow mein: there’s a bloke at the electric motel who will suck your dick for 450 carbons hell even play with your balls for an extra quid

jet star: I have 0 desire to meet you let alone give you money

tommy chow mein: 350?

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

draculaura: well, i've always been a vegan.

kieran, pulling out a gun: i haven't.

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

kobra kid: oh magic 8 ball, will my sight ever get better?

the coconut he's holding:

[mediocreincorrectquotes]

well one or the other man jesus christ