Yo, My Dudes

[wrongmovehoe-deactivated2020013]

raisin bran crunch has all the necessary nutrients for great coochie

[gemini]

My nan eats that 😧

[wrongmovehoe-deactivated2020013]

Guess what your nan has

[randomwordgeneratorr]

[nordacious]

90s taco bell was more a e s t h e t i c than ur shitty tumblr will ever be

[bootlegmuppet]

[ass-master-2000]

Very Unsettling Threats:

• I will boil your teeth

• I swear to god I will fill your sinuses with urine

• I will invert your rib cage

• I will squeeze your kneecaps

• I’m gonna harvest your toes

• I will pour cement into your ears

This is by no means a complete list; please feel free to add what you like :)

[fuckmemes]

why do these all sound like assaults in bitlife?

[ass-master-2000]

Oh my god you’re right

[crow--teeth]

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

[crow--teeth]

For context

[i-gwarth]

You’re welcome

[thesporkidentity]

[Narrator: A scientist in Peru [pause for peep] captured this, escaping from the tiny body [pause for peep] of a sleeping hummingbird. [pause for peep] A high-pitched [pause for peep] but unmistakable snore. [pause for peep] Hummingbirds are loved for their beauty and speed [pause for peep] but this one was behaving a little bit like a human. [pause for peep] The perfect cute-response trigger.]

[continuants]

[pause for peep]

[pileofknives]

Attention all customers: our store will be closing in five minutes. If you are present in the store after closing you will be hunted for sport.

[fuck-liberal-morons]

Bring it fuckstick. See how fast the hunters become the hunted.

[pileofknives]

Just because you wear Mossy Oak to dress up for a Walmart run doesn’t mean your average Target cashier couldn’t stuff and mount your head over their fireplace

[johncribati]

Everyone who works retail, at any given customer:

[whitticus]

anyway big congrats to john overwatch

[himydogsayswoof]

[springfieldusa]

[hanasongswife]

[casperscareschool]

[thorgyturner]

[shessobloodytall]

I hate this. I also need more of this.

[hanasongswife]

[leopikah-remade-deactivated2020]

Reblog if you’re homophobic

[churn-almighty-deactivated20190]

[wolfmanshep-deactivated20150906]

definitely food porn

[dudewithafuture-deactivated2014]

That waffle sandwich tho😍😍😍GEEZUS

[siphonmyanus-deactivated2015011]

GET IN ME TUMMY!