Med School Without Context

Dedicated to the things that you hear that'd make normal people go WTF Follow @MedSchNoContext on Twitter !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+'://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js';fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document, 'script', 'twitter-wjs');

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Yeah bring in the atropine, I'm suspecting organophosphate poisoning, this kid's looking really SLUDGE-y

Paramedic school is also weird out of context and this is why EMS is in the basement of the school

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If you do this right, the patient will bleed every step of the way

Instructions not clear, patient hemorrhaging.

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He couldn't match even if he was related to the PD

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He said he sneezed and blood came pouring out of his penis.

Thanks for the submission 

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And that´s why, students, you should always make sure your pacient gets tied up well, specially of going down the stairs

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Luckily she just has a wussy cancer

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You can never be too clean, too rich, or too pretty

yeah but the plastic surgeon saying this clearly has vested interests 

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Just take it one step at a time

I HATE THIS PHRASE. FUCKING STEP 1 HAS FOREVER RUINED IT 

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we shed 7lbs of skin each year. I’m glad I’m not a vacuum cleaner

Me too buddy. Me too.

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As usual with life, it's the dad's fault.

Dr. Sattar, Pathoma

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We won't be sticking things up that patient's butt anymore.

Things I say on night shift.

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I want to know her secrets, fears, what her favorite color is, what she fucking ate for breakfast. I WANT IT ALL IN HERE

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The patient is ALWAYS the biggest liar

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which side is the kidney on? The left? The right? Or is it both?”

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‪"There is no need for an extra butthole.“‬

This is a sound philosophy

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A kidney stone is the only time size doesn’t matter.

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Look, you don’t have to check for a pulse.The patient will scream in agony if he doesn’t need it.