It was the rain that woke me, the loud patter against the roof of a quiet Brooklyn apartment. The day was just beginning, but oh how I relished the thought of staying in bed. Two arms wrapped around my waist and a warm breath on the back of my neck, a sweet embrace I wanted so badly to envelope me, back to sleep, back to peace, but the day calls.
I mustered the strength to rise from the haven we had made, not wanting to face the day. As I moved to sit up his arms pulled me in closer, the light snore had ceased, replaced with a gentle kiss to my shoulder and soft words, "Don't leave, not yet."
His lips reached the curve of my neck as my own released a feeble, "You know I have to leave, Bucky. I made a promise to Wanda, she's grieving, she needs a friend now more than ever."
"What about what you need, Y/N?"
I turned to face him and carefully reached out, tracing the outline of his lips with the tip of my thumb. I felt the coolness of his breath on my fingertips as he exhaled, closing his eyes. "You're all I could ever need."
He opened his eyes, an endless pool of blue that never failed to take my breath away, and smiled my favorite smile, the one he always saved for me. He cradled my hand against his cheek and we rested in the moment. Slowly, he pressed the palm of my hand to his lips, never breaking eye contact. Truer words had never been spoken, Bucky has cared for me in ways no other person ever dared to. We have both been broken, almost to the point of no return. Our relationship was slow building, trust was not something either of us gave easily or willingly, but now I couldn't imagine anyone I would rather bare my soul to. Of course, it wasn't always this way, it took time, long days and even longer nights, growing together and learning how to love. Together, no longer haunted or tortured by our pasts, we found solace in one another.
Now as we lay still, drinking in the quiet, I can't help but feel an immense sense of indebtedness. I've never felt safer than when I'm with Bucky. He's made me realize home is not a structure with four walls, it can be found in unsuspecting places such as this, in the amorous embrace of a lover.
I want to be his home, but sometimes it feels like I can never live up to the person I know he needs me to be. But it's in moments like these, reveling in the stillness, skin touching, hands intertwined, as he looks on me with light dancing in his eyes, I feel whole. It's in this glorious silence, with small gestures and whispered affections that he makes me feel worthy of love.
I can't help myself from inching forward and crushing my lips against his, he didn't hesitate in matching my rhythm. Breathlessly, I raked my hands through his hair as his wandered down my body, tracing the curve of my hips and pulling me closer until we are nearly one flesh. I felt a nagging in my chest, I knew it was time to leave and start a surely long day but, "Oh, my love, I never want to leave this bed," the words fell from my mouth in a tumultuously garbled mess. The kisses trailed from my mouth down my neck, across my collar bone, leaving a relentless, blazing trail in their wake. I knew if I let this go on any longer we would be here 'til the moon showed her face, "Bucky...I..." The fire suddenly stopped and was replaced by a thrill brought about by four simple words, "I love you, Y/N," he whispered, breathy, following the line of my jaw with his lips, and I felt the words on my skin as he spoke, each syllable a sweet caress. The gasp escaped me before I could muster a response, I've never felt even a fraction of what I feel for Bucky towards anyone else. Hearing the words, spoken aloud, like a manifestation into the ether, caused a new sensation in me, like light going all through me.
"And I love you, James Buchanan Barnes, far more than you could ever know." My whole being was humming with delight as I found my place in the hollow of his neck, taking in his warmth, shutting my eyes and feeling calm wash over me to the tune of a steady heartbeat. There were a few minutes to spare.
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