How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: donāt talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works. Donāt say anything if sheās lost weight. Donāt say anything if sheās gained weight. If you think your daughterās body looks amazing, donāt say that. Here are some things you can say instead: āYou look so healthy!ā is a great one. Or how about, āYouāre looking so strong.ā āI can see how happy you are ā youāre glowing.ā Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body. Donāt comment on other womenās bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one. Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself. Donāt you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, donāt go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But donāt say āIām not eating carbs right now.ā Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself. Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and thatās a good thing sometimes. Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, youāll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isnāt absolutely in love with. Prove to your daughter that women donāt need men to move their furniture. Teach your daughter how to cook kale. Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter. Pass on your own momās recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside. Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. Itās easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Donāt. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants. Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
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