Meghan

Two sons(2014 & 2016) and one daughter (2018) Married in 2014 Born 1989 Random postings Enjoy my weirdness 🙂

[meghanpangburn]

[meghanpangburn]

H

[thatwriterchickyouknow]

Unpopular opinion but I feel the need to say this as election year draws closer and Democratic candidates are being announced:

in 2020, the ONLY GOAL is getting that orange sludge out of office. 

That’s it. That is endgame for 2020. If you stick your head up your ass so far as to think anything is more important than that at this point, get an emergency head-ass-ectomy REAL fucking quick because we CANNOT pull another 2016.

I don’t care if the Dem nominee is someone you hate, if you’ve voted Green Party for 34 years, if your goddamn mother is on the ticket. If mama isn’t the official presidential candidate from the Democratic Party, then you DO NOT VOTE FOR HER.

2020 is about blocking another four years of nightmare hell. 2020 is about caring about other people’s realities over your “conscience” (read: online woke points). It’s about standing up for every person hurt, every person harassed, every person KILLED by the hate this piece of radioactive bile spews from every disgusting orifice.

ESPECIALLY my fellow white people better take this message to fucking heart, because WE are the ones who fucked this up, ESPECIALLY my fellow white women. You are not allowed to “vote your conscience.” You are not allowed to “weigh the options.” You are suddenly a single-issue voter, and that issue is Trump Is Evil. You are voting to evict, voting to BLOCK. If the Democratic candidate is less than ideal, you suck it the fuck up for 2020.  This election is not, CANNOT be about idealism, about perfection. It’s about starting to undo four years of damage.

So from the announcement of the nominee until November 3rd, 2020, you better be all fucking in. If you don’t like their stances on certain issues, if they’re not progressive enough, if they’ve reached across the aisle too many times, worry about it November 4th. Spend the next four years pushing them left, protesting everything you don’t like, picket the fucking White House if you need to. I will be right there with you. But that starts on November 4th. Until then, we are on a straight anti-Trump train and y’all better not fucking get off it.

[meghanpangburn]

2019 Goals

1) Get Hubby’s credit score up to qualify for a mortgage.

2) If said mortgage falls through pay off our van and lot rent for the year.

3) Get a membership to the YMCA and start exercising.

4) Read more books.

5) Start journaling.

6) Eat healthier.

7) If mortgage is approved buy a new mobile home (if I’m spending $50k or more I would rather get a smaller house that’s brand new than an older house that needs $100k or more of work).

8) Pay off some bills from classes I took ($309 for one and $147 for the other. $456 total) and our rent to own computer ($400).

9) General self improvement/self care.

[meghanpangburn]

This thanksgiving I’m obviously thankful for my children

But god damn I would be much more thankful if they would just listen to me holy fucking shit I’m going to lose my mind it’s only 3:30 and I’m five trillion percent done today someone save me from these fucking assholes 🤬😡

[animatedtext]

[i-remember-there-was-mist]

Today I shut my cat in the fridge.

Okay, so here’s the deal.  Tali loves the fridge.  I don’t know why, but every single time we open it, she bolts for it and jumps in.  She crawls into the back of the fridge and nestles int the smallest little corner she can.  Now naturally, my biggest fear has been that I’ll close the fridge without knowing she’s in there.  And of course, today I went to go grab my Brita filter to pour myself some water.  I wasn’t really watching the fridge, and I just opened and closed it really quickly to put the Brita back while I was looking somewhere else.  And then I looked around and realized that Tali had been in the kitchen, and now she was nowhere in sight.  So immediately, I throw open the fridge door, and there is is, hanging out in the back, content as can be.

[i-remember-there-was-mist]

Fridge cat just got weirder.  Today Tali got into the bathroom while I was showering, which of course made me a little nervous.  I didn’t want her to freak out and hurt herself or go on a scratching spree.  But evidently she loves water, so she jumped in and just splashed around for a while and got back out.  But then she kept whining to get back in, so my boyfriend put a cooler down so she could get in and out with ease, which she took great advantage of.  She’s soaking wet now, and very content.  

[i-remember-there-was-mist]

I told Tali she was famous.  She and her stuffed husky celebrated.

[darkarfs]

Big Dave. One of the good ones. 

[archiveofolives]

guys batista is honestly one of the greatest human beings alive ude

[actorsallusionpresents]

Dave Bautista cried when he got the role of Drax in GotG and then threw himself into acting classes to prepare.

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

Smash that mf reblog button if you stoically ignore all labelled washing instructions and everything your mama ever told you about laundry and just send those bastards hurgling around in an overfilled tub to meet either death or glory

[meghanpangburn]

Life update

Vacation in 23 days. I'm so excited to see my friends in Maine (I grew up there) but I know as soon as I leave that I'll want to stay.

Hubby's mother was at the house yesterday for all of 5 minutes before she left. For someone who complains all the time about not seeing the grandkids you would think when opportunity presents itself she would visit. But nope, full of excuses.

Found messages on hubby's phone to the same bitch that made me break up with him 5 years ago. He's been talking to her off and on. I finally got it through his head that his conversation wasn't strictly friends talking. He either needs to stop talking to her since they keep going on the same merry go round or he needs to put his foot down with her. So he isn't speaking with her at the moment. I haven't looked through his phone recently so who knows (I only do this if I have a reason or gut feeling and each time I'm right). I told him he's on his last chance. I keep giving him chances and he blows it every time. I can't keep finding messages like that (saying he wanted both of us 5 years ago, saying he sometimes wishes things were different, how he still wants to meet her, and btw she sent him naked pictures but that's before we got together), it's not fair to me what he's doing. He tried to deflect to me because I won't be intimate with him. No shit Sherlock why would I be when I know I'm not the only one you're thinking about? I told him his piss poor choices have nothing to do with me. And if he wants to stay with me he needs to shape the fuck up because there are no more chances.

So needless to say we're trying to work on our issues. We fight a lot and he calls me names but we've realized we just take our frustration out on each other because we basically have no friend around to talk to. We've been working on it. I need to start working out again because it helps with my stress but I just can't be bothered with three kids. So I need to focus on my mental health and why I blow up at small things. I was diagnosed with anxiety last year but I think it's some kind of mood disorder.

Kids are great. I don't post pictures because of creeps but everyone is healthy.

Oliver was 38lbs, 41 inches tall at his 4 year checkup. Talking away, little smart ass but his cuteness makes up for it.

Tanner was 31lbs, 37 inches tall at his 2 year checkup. Dramatic little shit like his mother. Not talking yet, his doctor suggested speech therapy but I'm not worrying just yet. He's great in every other area, it's just that Oliver talks for him so he's being lazy.

Sydney was 18lbs (don't remember oz, but she was close to 19lbs), 26 inches tall at her 6 month check up in July. She'll be 8 months old on the 24th so I'm sure she's over 20lbs by now. Says mama, Dada, and baba. Can kind of climb/army crawl her way over obstacles. Still nursing but we've introduced sippy cups at least enough for my concert in October where I'll be gone for 8+ hours. After that I don't care. She's trying to eat everything in sight so that's fun.

End of update, be back for the next one after vacation.

[meghanpangburn]

Trying to find legit work from home jobs

All I'm seeing is "NO STARTUP COSTS, NO INVENTORY, EARN $25 AN HOUR DOING SIMPLE STUFF"

Then the person that posted wants money to start up. Deceptive advertising dudes and scam scam scam!

So once the baby is done breastfeeding or doesn't nurse so often I'll get a part time job somewhere during the evenings. If my daughter is still nursing I want to be done by 10pm to get home. Then all that money will go into savings. I'd probably only work 20-25 hours a week at minimum wage. So around $180 a week before taxes. Once my daughter is done nursing I may pick up more hours on the weekends since my husband has off then.

Seriously people these work from home, be your own boss things are scamming bullshit. Don't fall for it.

[meghanpangburn]

Our anniversary was on Thursday

Nothing. Not even a card. I suggested dinner, nope. I asked if he could look yesterday while we were at target. Nope. He wanted me to pick my own gift. It doesn't work like that. I told him it didn't have to be expensive.

His birthday was the same day. I got him a card and made him his favorite cake.

He says I'm not trying or I don't care about our marriage.

I've wanted to cry because he's been saying it's always my fault. Every problem is my fault. I have some blame but not all of it. It's not fair.

[meghanpangburn]

Life Update

- baby girl will be 5 months old on the 24th. Holy shit.

- hubby and I are trying to work things out. It's okay

- no sex drive at all. It sucks but can't say I'm mad about it either

- things with 3 kids is getting easier each day

- weighed 197lbs in March. I started a low carb diet and I'm floating between 182 and 184 now but my diet was shit for a month

- I'm back on my diet now but I haven't weighed myself since I know I'm still overeating.

- I'm finally going back to Maine this fall to visit my friends and show my husband where I grew up. I'm so excited.

[meghanpangburn]

This is why I never do anything for myself

You come home, take the baby and I have to do everything. I get it you're tired after work. I get it I have to deal with bed time because you have to wake up early. It's all about you. Always. If this freaking world wasn't so expensive to live in as a single parent I would be out. You say you love me and want to work on our issues but I don't. Every time we've worked on problems and I think we're over it, they always come back. Your family, past fuck buddies, past flames, tempers, bad communication, always blaming me. I'm over it.

[meghanpangburn]

I know I shouldn't expect anything on Mother's Day. This is my fourth one and each year if my husband agrees to let me buy something he thinks that's my mother's day gift. Like nah I want something you thought to get all on your own. It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. He could just clean the house for me. I had to do that today. He says he's appreciates everything I do but I really don't think he gives a shit. So yeah that's my mother's day this year. After nothing for my birthday or Christmas last year, or the year before, or any year in the 5 years I've been with him. 😡

[micdotcom]

Sportscaster Dale Hansen defends student wrestler Mack Beggs and takes a stand against transphobia

[bonkhrnyjail]

this man just CHECKED™ his privilege im living

[fierceawakening]

this is what i mean when i say “actually tolerance isn’t all that bad” this guy says several times that he doesn’t understand and even is uncomfortable, but that that isn’t what matters. imo, that’s how tolerance works.

[jumpingjacktrash]

true tolerance is, “i don’t have to understand, because you don’t need my permission to live. my job as a member of your community is to have your back, whether i understand your situation or not.”

[meghanpangburn]

Forgot to post...

But I had my daughter on January 24

1:19pm. 6lbs 15oz. 19.5 inches long

My doctor and I decided to have me induced since my body just couldn't get things moving enough this time around. I went in and was 80% effaced and 3cm dilated so at least my body was doing something. I probably could have waited but I was so uncomfortable and in pain that I was a million percent done. Plus I was 39w5d so I was close enough to my due date anyway.

After my check they started the pitocin around 10:25am. They can increase the pitocin every 30 minutes so they did, after about an hour-ish my contractions were showing up on the monitor every 2-5 minutes apart. I was talking with my mom and the nurse asked if I was feeling any pain, I didn't feel a thing at that point.

About 30 minutes later I was having more painful contractions and at 12:30 my doctor checked me, I was 6cm and basically all thinned out. 15-20 minutes later my water broke and shit got real.

Contractions back to back, no break. The pain would get crazy, then it would ease up (not go away though), then get crazy again. Everyone tried to talk me into pain relief but I just knew I was extremely close because I could feel her coming down (been through it twice), so I said no. They checked me again around 1:15 and I was ready to go after begging them to let me push. She was out in 4 pushes.

Just around 3 hours start to finish, just how I was hoping my induction would go.

I'm not going to post pictures because of creeps but just know she's perfect and cute and by far my easiest baby.