Meiliel

Welcome to my black headspace ! (I occasionally write poetry here, and, at times, share other things) | 23 |

[meiiiliel]

ODIUM SCRIPTOR

Sepulchre red curtains are now open

Please applaud for the tricksters' omen

I know no better than to feed and lick off sword's rancour

So when the people-pleaser desires the attention-seeker;

Loner will grudgingly accept the role as his said stalker

Since all that ever mattered was a chance to get closer

Intimate private connection at the expense of one's violation

Are audience's crude accusations worse than oxygen-abortion ?

Time for payback backstage, wreck off this masked face

He runs but I know he loves the chase, so, I won the race

Only touch me to disguise embrace, as he feigns defense

Heartbreak breath— we bleed out grace in subtext space

Gets off on his script— mercury ink injury as chirography

Encrypt inevitable decree that induces pituitary lethargy

From thee to me... was the play worthy ?

Liability was never part of the fantasy

Our empty odeum of intimate tragedies

I am a loath-letter scribe at best capacity.

[meiiiliel]

very much not a question, but your poetry makes my brain burn and I almost feel stupid? feels like there's just way too much, kinda like the lovecraftian horrors

all of this to say, I crave more and everything is magnificent

Thank you so much, that's a big compliment to receive, I'm sincerely touched !!! ★

I admit I spend too much in my head to realise how dense my poetry can get sometimes... although, I do it on purpose at times to let the reader's mind wander and decrypt through their own prisms

And, sorry for the harm caused to your brain— I hope it happens again :)

[meiiiliel]

not a question, more a compliment, I’ve been looking at your poetry and I am mystified, horrified, obsessed and otherwise hungry for more. keep it up(?)!

Aaa— that means so much to me... !

It's what I can only hope to convey; haunt, disturb, soothe through incantation-like poems, exorcising ache into fuel in this blog like a confessional haha

I'm grateful for every reading, thank you so much for the time you spent to read my poems, your heartfelt compliments and supportive mesage, you made my day ★

[meiiiliel]

EFFUGERE

Begin-again

Still¹², manikin

High pitche⁵d static déjà-vus

Remember patterns as c³lues

Shellac coat²⁰s cover my fur; choke until stroke— I awoke

My alcoholic tears provoke; wounds on existence's cloak

Memories I cannot grasp start leaking o¹⁵ut

Secr¹⁸ets I cannot display, still I m¹³ust shout

Struggle to ask— mouth sewn tight— taught not to be impolite⁵

Through glazed eyesight, witness of derealization's nighlight

Thoughts captive in labyrinth fields— crush my plinth

Non-saint's bloodstream¹³ drowns hyacinth in absinthe

Change will not outrun flawed lore; immoral laws, encore⁵

Damn¹⁴ed to deplore, t²⁰his hell-loop ticking forevermore

Follo¹⁵w scripture; praying posture disloc³ates internal armature

Enamour fuels cognition's fevered ligatu²¹re— nill to r¹⁸esuture

"If fate cannot be ear¹⁸ned, if they admit— they already wrote it—

How can I—be⁵ punished, for a sin...I am condemned⁴ to commit ?"

For blasphemy

Enjoy atrophy

I⁹ refuse all but thee, my dear impurity— the only ecstasy is: soul taxidermy

Me⁵atsuit found its sanctity in the unsealed insides of statue's effigy

Incised br¹⁸ain. New name. Wasted ache in vain.

For obsti⁹nate manikin— retribution's spears¹⁹ strike again

[meiiiliel]

SIC-AMORE

He wore gloves, but swore: "Love, guts, and all."

Yet, I knew what I signed for; control's withdrawal

Time, sick of more; I cannot trust his words at all

Silverware unveil, served menu: gruesome ensue

Intimate diner venue—patience interrupts virtue

impolite guest argued, love came not to rescue

White viscous cloth lace—laid table, empty plate

Ravenous palatal palace—stir pulse rate—palpitate

Ominous stab of hunger met, menace, awaits at gate

Holy warder ever late

Disorder will escalate

Slaughter; perpetrate

Porcelain heart break—pieces, lacerate membrane's woe

Insides at stake, regurgitate—vomit—shake—swallow

Body cannot follow—though, refuses to remain shallow

I call; his phone dial tone declines my invite

Phone cord gnawed by canines, wired spite

Prone ruin; waiting for him... ignites ragebite

Tender skin fights, at the edge; sentiments taste fright

Nourishment was found—at the sight, opposed to knife

Eviscerate—half—incessant rotten stuffing that smite life

Visceral elegance repeals the violence portrayal

Betrayal's recipe equals: feast on non-consensual

Non-equal individuals disable the term: "cannibal"

Ok...

no more hiding

using poetry

as proxy.

This is my plea,

not mine—yet,

her beloved

still flayed me.

Please, inhale me—

annihilate me—

circle back to me—

promise to let it be messy.

Haha, sorry...

I cannot help

but rhyme—

accidentally !

Nuisance,

if I break the silence...

So, his ghost erodes my verses—

through them, I unload urges.

Since when do we get

what we deserve ?

He wastes, my love

like fucking leftovers.

I hate his guts, and, so does my love—hurts

He shove cuts—wove—beloved's artery spurt

Desire, abrupt—it thirsts for iron-sharp lust

Dopamine fever-chaser, hits for appetizer: gasoline

Tasteless fucker—set afire my heart-core sycamine

To hang was wiser—swing... to gory crime scene

Horsemen wheels apocalyptic carousel

Wax-wings melt in oven's mouth spell

Heaven serenades; hell suits us well

Akin to love, call it our fall

Oh... we could have had it all

Gutted—whore, devour me whole.

[meiiiliel]

INTERCADAVER

at thee i will aim—refineD sulfine,

for i became; a prOsing machine.

thou willan Resplendish in my metasome system:

pendant hit sternum, cadence, metronome rhythm,

yEt—hands emblem, tightens diaphragm's anthem.

binding priMary nods—in lung-filled soundpost,

knitting vocal cords, fingers, tuned in as new host;

grInding bows against larynx cello's rorts chords.

muscle dysphonia—aching; From thee I must sing,

tears drop cadenzA; sheddIng notes whom sting.

on partitions, filthy wordS, glued thy resin to tongue:

of timbre's throat lesions—thOu hum my Pb lead-song—

whimpered notes were strung; throbing proLonged.

bows shooting endpins—arcs in orchestraL smog,

jaws routing skins, barks that beg like A feral dog.

teeth'S mark ornaments keys writing lyrical prose,

clenching impotent pleas on flesh starstained foes.

impure come—sIns will enforce, needs—resound coarse,

loathesome screechfork enDorse, concede, obey, coerce;

artsome perforce— warps— as we cOmmit intercourpse.

For i became; a hunting machine,

inflamed—turned Into the obscene.

exhilarating flaw... weaponizing core hertz—psycho,

penetrating, raw— pour: DO, RE, MI, FA, SOL, LA, SI, DO,

altering, awe—four, three, tw—thou as my own violentcello.

[meiiiliel]

DOMINIONS

Elusive hair clogged in the sink's drain

Vibrating strings toward deliruim strain

Ignites tinnitus riving hippocampus pain

Galore poetry sowing life of synsepalum dulcificum

Idyllic rarity that sheaths stibine as the main odium

Lucent doppelgängers by design of heart's atrium

Architects smothering paths of existential wrath

Rancid leftovers hatching toxoplasmosis warmth

Emitting nines Voynich's books as adronitis math

[meiiiliel]

LUNAE

Seldomly glaring at the dulcet ghost of thee

An abnormality in my sequence Fibonacci

Ceaselessly striving to fathom Amor Fati

Ineluctable salience of one's insatiability

Residing in sterling silk webs, entangled

My limbs and organs rendered disabled

Acute gaze of an unkillable bull steering

Entropy's collapse left me floundering

This veil perpetually condensing

Whilst ladybugs kept swarming;

Obstructed vision from our phantoms' collision

Divine compositions of reciprocal recognition

Blueprint of thy handprint's initial

Shoulder fire branded by celestial

Electric impulse bursting sinoatrial

Beyond vital, the craving is perennial

Unglutchable— pricking my throat, forty two blue stars irrupt

Numerical hellhounds that coat; his very touch corrupts

[meiiiliel]

★ Moth ★

[meiiiliel]

RESONANTIA

Eleven ought to be the chosen one

Forlorn echoes momentanément lorn

Thorny renewal gnawn one o one

Prevalence of chimes rang tuned to listen;

"kneel for strawberry Moon on June eleven"

Amiss thoughts anguishing for link's leaven

Awry satellite encompassing Moon to Earth

Charting my inner constellation, given starbirth

Haunted and questioning everything's worth

Threshold maintaining madness and sanity in balance

Through every silence was calling thy name resonance

Encephalitis of time alter ripples into one's reality reccurence

A bottle weaven of sugar threw in a hydrogen peroxide sea

Rushing adrenaline swallowed whole into the limbo spree

Irony, synchronicity, impossible was escaping fate's destiny

Eleven o clock, mounted on thread my vulnerability bole

Absent words bleed of a poem where was poured soul

A ticket at thy floor returning a smile circumstances stole

Twelve and eleven minutes captured in a stanza—

On my black letterbox laid an idaea rusticata

As though drawn by the cloying scent of water amrita

Reverberation of white static murmuring my one o one radio station frequency

Oxymoron given by a papillion de nuit so pale attracted to the dark abnormality

Wondering if life was nodding back at me returning fiery— or worrying poetry

Will my offering be recognised by thee, reciprocating the synchronicities secretly ?

Will I be held in the stillness hitting on the window glass gazing over thee— drawn to thy light my laity ?

The chord now held by thee of euphony's key

[meiiiliel]

Idaea Rusticata

[meiiiliel]

DECENS

Oh precious dear golden deer

Who wanders alone, without peer

Cleverly, approached me, leering onto what we could be

Pulsing heart luring me unto appealing thee—

So alike were we, I'll forever hold dear this February

Praising your own voice, everlasting talker,

I, a good listener, with an empathy disorder

Fulfilled me with empty calories,

Nurturing harsh dichotomies;

In thy absence, turned into lethalities

Repellent antlers effleurage

Led to organs' miscarriage

Mirroring each other's behaviours,

A last choreography of dancing daggers—

Stags were evolving into predators

Dawdling prolonged onto the inevitable,

Sporocarps growing thee unsalvageable

Thou took away my senses,

Full of unanswered guesses,

Left to mourn, only unsenses

Holy fire cleansing the biblically unclean;

Ashes whirling delicately as pure snow of our bioamine

Dear gone deer, this is my becoming evene

[meiiiliel]

DECIDIT

Perceiving thy presence

Shattering the distance

A dainty wing brushed softly upon my skin

As thy voice, ethereal, made my senses spin

Nearly blinded, shunned between thee and the sun

My eyes aiming at thee, as a drawn fragile gun

Thou caughtest my utter attention

Bound to let it dive into obsession

In my overlong search for solace—

Acquirable it was, in thy embrace

Remains of this eerie ghostly vessel at last seen

The transitory nature cruelly turned sin unforeseen

Scenting nearness in this special someone's scene

Imploring this aching to cease that follows sin

I must confess my plea, a decline for no further closure

Therefore, mourning thy swift but no sudden departure

Within this endless hunt for enlace

Shall not be obtained by entice

Though time may one day, eventually, erase thy trace

Oh stubborn heart that refuses to let thee go to waste

Withstanding at the mercy of memory's ruthless cruelty

Oh, thou so heavenly— gazing at thy wings so feathery

Distance grew allayed as laid to convey

As thy hushed empyreal vessel drifted away

Thy returning presence that was already secretly yenned

Thou oughtest to let me know, this was nowhere near our end

Yet aware wert thou of leading me into perdition's dome

Naively thought thou wouldst bring me home— but thou wert my soam

[meiiiliel]

DEVORARE

Thy strongest drive is hunger

Insatiate, thou dost linger

Weathering my vessel like water carves stone

Thy appealing words drained me to the bone

Resonance of previous woes,

Becoming hollow chambers through echoes

Repeated caresses, turned softness of thy touch— to abrasive sandpaper

Acid consuming whole my tethered heartstrings till vapour

Thy gentle grasp sufficed to shatter, my frail glass stem, tenderly

As the cold floor, welcomed my scattered clutter quietly

My fallen wine's engraved memory,

Spread in circle, drawn unto thee

From thy hand to what Cain did to Abel

It coursed its way through tiles, as rivers flow, to reach thy long-forsaken cradle

Splattered across thy dark antique kitchen cabinet,

Laid crimson red, as snow surrounds a white rabbit

Whom moonlight beautifully turned red to black where wine nows enhabit

A mark left of me thou wouldst not lick clean

But keep it still, preserved scene

One that wills to be kept, a curse, to let thyself see

The price of thy very own trophy

Forgiven, climbed behind your walls wherein I finally belong

Honoured thy rare gift, achieving vessels blurring into one

Except—

I now am hungry

Will thou return the courtesy ?