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[melancholic-medusa]

sunny • 23 yrs old • she/they • oct scorpio • goth/ alternative style • depressing blog

> a lot of my posts are for the more mature side lol I post from metaphoracle depressing garbage to straight to the point heavy tw

> I don't always label my stuff as tw, so this is your warning

> I don't really mind if minors are on my page, but I probably won't interact with you as much as my "of age" mutuals on here

> faq/

1) yes, I'm okay :) I use this to vent and release tension, and even if it seems like I could be a danger to myself, I'm not. this is just how I cope

2) I don't have a set schedule for posting, I just usually write a whole bunch and queue them up and that will last me a week or so

3) I am no longer active as I used to be on this account; college has taken a lot of my time, but I do plan on getting back into this project

[melancholic-medusa]

the day i moved out of my moms house

i was 17 between a rock and a hard place and knew

i needed to leave that place

i slept in her bed for the last time

like when i was so small and desired

she cried when i told her

i left in the morning before she woke up

she will never see me graduate college

she will never come to my wedding

she will never experience her grandchildren growing up

she will never see me turn old as i get to see her.

[quotefeeling]

“You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness.”

— Julia Roberts

[melancholic-medusa]

i still mourn the friendship we had. i think about you all the time and how much we grew together in such a small amount of time.

i think about the ways you would make me laugh, and the ways you came out of your shell.

i still have your birthday marked in my calendar.

im sorry that when you pushed me away i tried to pull you closer, holding onto something you didnt want anymore.

i ask about you all the time and hope youre doing better than what you compared yourself to, i know this place hasnt always been kind to you.

i know you hate me. im sorry that i wasnt the friend you wanted me to be, im sorry for making you feel like i was looking for something else, im sorry for the times where i fell short and you got hurt, im sorry for every situation i put you through, and im so sorry for trying to stay attached to you for so long.

i put distance between myself and our friends after you stopped talking to me. i just feel so guilty for making that way.

i know you talk down on me, and i deserve it. i just hope you can find happiness in the space youve created for yourself. i miss being your "big sister".

[quietcannibal]

skin to skin contact isnt enough i need teeth to internal organs

[melancholic-medusa]

i peel layers from my skin,

opening my wrist up for the world to see,

nerves are touched by the harsh cold i am unavoidably caressed by.

my chest rises and falls,

but i do not falter,

i must complete what i started.

[melancholic-medusa]

she looks just like me

just thinner.

is she everything you've ever dreamt of?

or a fantasy that was pushed out of your head?

[melancholic-medusa]

I do wonder what life would have looked like if I chose myself for once.

[melancholic-medusa]

visited new orleans again <3

[melancholic-medusa]

I found myself surrounded by oddly shaped memories within a space that was not originally mine.

[lilmissbpd-deactivated20260717]

If you have bpd reblog this so I can follow you

[melancholic-medusa]

there was always a chance that you would leave

but I am ashamed that it was when I wasnt ready.

I was never going to be ready.

but the pain from my mistakes haunts me

it haunts me like grief that finds you when you finally think you're in a good headspace.

it haunts me like every other memory of past loved ones.

it haunts me to this very day, and it will haunt me tomorrow, and the next day, and the week that follows, and the months that follow into the years into my adulthood.

[melancholic-medusa]

as the year passes,

I dread november.

as the year passes,

the memory of you grows fonder.

may you rest in paradise.

[melancholic-medusa]

I envy the people on the news who got my wish

[melancholic-medusa]

writing my sewerslide note in Starbucks be like

[melancholic-medusa]

they don't care much for me,

and I care too frequently for them.

they don't mind that I'm leaving,

but it's tearing me apart that I have to.

[melancholic-medusa]

when death chooses to find me,

may she be gentle and warm,

understanding and quick.

may I not fear what is to come sooner or later,

but hope for her kindness to creep in before I wake up in the morning.