chronicling life after death @melancholy-tears7 - Tumblr Blog

#poetry #grief #mental health #personal #grief poetry #grief and loss #grief quotes #grief journey #poems #exerpt from a story i'll never write #my poetry #i haven't written in so long

lifeinpoetry

I was an animal, howling on all fours. With every movement, an uncontrolled, ugly wail escaped my body. I was an animal, no room for any human in my ugly pain.

— Moshtari Hilal, from "Dying Prayer," Ugliness, tr. Elisabeth Lauffer

ell-hs

heavensghost

Words by Andrea Gibson

#andrea gibson #grief

heavensghost

Will the afterlife be harder if I remember the people I love, or forget them?

Either way, please let me remember.

-Andrea Gibson

Honestly I might sound like an absolute ass, which is okay because I know that I am.

But my god is it normal to love your child so much and still have the most intense disappointment.

Nothing went the way I wanted and I feel frustrated with the lack of choices I got to have.

I also have this intense longing and melancholy deep within my soul.

None of my feelings are a reflection of my son.

But I often feel I’m on the outside looking in on someone else’s life.

I am trying to be grateful and gracious.

I am trying.

heavensghost

Words from nettles by Ethel Cain

#nettles #ethel cain

glowcowboy

grief is so crazy like what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. does she know i loved her. i miss her so much. i catch myself doing things she used to do. i wish i could call her. i miss her so much. i do a crossword puzzle. i cry while washing the dishes. does she know i loved her? my heart feels like a hummingbird. i miss her so much. what if i forget what her laugh sounds like. what if i forget.

glowcowboy

i talked ab this feeling in therapy yday and my therapist asked me, “would it really be so bad if your memories changed? if they softened and faded or looked different over time? why does that frighten you so much?” and i said, “i don’t want the love to disappear.” and she looked at me for a long moment and then she said, “it won’t. it doesn’t work that way. even if the memories soften or change, it doesn’t mean the love does. that love keeps going backward in time, forever, because you love her still. all is not lost.” i just thought i would share that in case it resonated w anyone else too.

#grief #mental health #grief and loss #somehow I really needed to read this today #love is not lost

Speaking with my therapist today.

We discussed re-living traumatic events.

I think about seeing you lying in a hospice bed.

I remember listening to Nicole Dollanganger.

Crying in the shower.

Hyperventilating.

You were dying.

I felt numb.

It was an out of body experience.

Speaking to you for the last time.

Holding space for you.