if you want me to be there, i want to

cassie | 29 | they/them | black & bi | terfs go to hell

[3s-ara-deactivated20230320]

[peanutsoutofcontext]

Snoopy of the Day

[glowcowboy]

a baby carrot can be a treat if you keep your heart open

[vexheart]

[petaltexturedskies]

Mary Oliver, from "The Pond" in Felicity

[glowcowboy]

sorry if i was weird last night it’s just that i’m weird pretty much every night actually

[glowcowboy]

as someone who constantly gets stuck in ruminative cycles, figuring out a way to stop the cycle before it gets out of hand has been incredibly formative for me. if you find yourself ruminating or unable to stop the cycling, here’s a place to start.

am i learning, processing, or ruminating? it’s important to be able to distinguish between the three. learning is when you receive new information that updates your frame of understanding. processing is when you study a situation to help yourself understand it. ruminating is when you cycle over the same thought repeatedly, often causing distress. learning and processing are productive, while rumination is destructive.

which theme is this? understanding the root of the spiral has helped me to untangle why the rumination feels so intense and scary. (example: i’ve been ruminating on one specific interaction with someone where i think they might’ve misinterpreted what i meant. this is my theme of fear around being misunderstood.)

how do i respond? (example: okay, this is that theme of being misunderstood. but it is not my job to make myself perfectly understood. the people i have around me can ask clarifying questions if they’re confused, and they are willing to meet me in the middle because they want to understand.)

don’t feed the raccoons tuna. (this is an example from my therapist that i love! essentially, don’t feed the beast or it will keep coming back. distract yourself, journal, listen to music, etc.)

[glowcowboy]

Sjs I wrote a poem again after a long period of writer’s block

YAY!!!!

[glowcowboy]

Sjs a couple of deer got quite close to me today and I sang them Chicago by Sufjan Stevens

this is so beautiful

[glowcowboy]

sjs: i worked on my novel this morning and got 1000 words written before 10am:D

AMAZING work!!!!

[glowcowboy]

sjs my dog was on a trip (with some family members not alone lol) but today she is BACK!!! <3

i am obsessed w the idea of your dog vacationing by herself….. we live in such a beautiful world…..

[poetic-questions]

from Franz Kafka's "Letters to Felice"

[glowcowboy]

i learned that i can endure heartbreak and still be filled with so much love

yes baby! me too ♡

[glowcowboy]

big joy saturday today i am moving out of my shitty apartment that i hate ! GOODBYE FOREVERRRR

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

[glowcowboy]

sjs i finally have the next two days off of work im gonna sleep so much!!! ive been working every day since June started (i have to but it’ll be over very soon now)

YAY i hope you’re able to get some good rest <3

[glowcowboy]

sjs: i'm recovering from a cold? covid? and have been too tired to do anything the past few days, but this morning i woke up feeling mostly better and was able to do a couple small chores to fix some things that had been really bothering me:D

YAY i hope you continue to feel better!!

[angelicdewdrop]