You always did like them younger.
Girls with soft hearts and unformed boundaries still believing love is supposed to hurt a little.
Not just my body but the years of my life I will never get back.
I swallowed your promises like wine, bitter but intoxicating, hoping I could change your taste.
You dragged me through your filth. The lies, the girls, the kinks you never earned the trust to explore. And every time I tried to leave, you threw just enough hope to keep me starving.
You dangled commitment like a prize, and I played your game until I forgot I was worth more than winning bile.
Until I forgot myself entirely.
And now? I hear of how you tell tales of me at weddings naively stated in front of my confidants.
Bring up my name in ways that humiliate and dehumanize me as nothing more than a lay you can’t let go of just yet.
Now you’ve found someone dumber than I was.
Ten years more willing to believe that pain means passion.
She’s the kind of girl who’ll let you cheat, cry, and crawl back home.
She’ll keep the bed warm while your lies cool in your mouth.
She’ll still call it love when it’s addiction, control, a sickness with your name carved into its ribs.
Maybe she’ll be your forever. The forever I bled myself to become.
And maybe now; finally you’ll leave me the hell alone.
Because I’m not the girl who wants to fix you anymore.
I’m the woman who survived you.
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