oops

Jai • 24 • they • having an eensy teensy relapse • active June ‘23

[melathinn]

Formal Intro :)

Hello! I’m Jai (they/them), I’m 24, and I’m having an eensy teensy relapse. I’ve recovered slowly over the past 4ish years, but I hit my HW aaaaaand I’m back on my bullshit.

Replies/follows from main (melathinnn)

Not pro 4n4, big on recovery, block don’t report plsss

Vegan for 5 years

Stats:

5’8” | hw/sw : 183 | cw: 140 | gw: 135 | ugw: 120

[melathinn]

Guys I think eds are actually illnesses with a chemical element bc I’m on a new medication and I haven’t counted a calorie in 3 days

[melathinn]

AhhHHHhhh I really really really wanted this coat from my favorite brand and then suddenly it went on sale and my size was gone so I ordered a size smaller than I usually do bc people were saying it’s an oversized fit so it should be fine but if it doesn’t fit I am going to Kermit

[melathinn]

It fit :))))

[melathinn]

I’m about to start a new antidepressant and a side effect is weight loss which is probably a misteak but unfortunately my sewerslidal ideation has hit a point where I just kind of need to be alive even if I’m backsliding in other ways

[melathinn]

Ok I borrowed my friends dress and didn’t check the size but it’s a size 4 and it fits which is WILD. Also I saw a pic of me from high school and realized a. I do not recognize myself without tattoos and b. I def weigh less than I did then which is swaggy

[tistler]

hördur ingason

[oatmilkylatte]

[melathinn]

AhhHHHhhh I really really really wanted this coat from my favorite brand and then suddenly it went on sale and my size was gone so I ordered a size smaller than I usually do bc people were saying it’s an oversized fit so it should be fine but if it doesn’t fit I am going to Kermit

[melathinn]

I’ve developed a fear of grocery stores so I order my groceries and pick them up bc I eat the same 7 things so it’s easy but I ordered through Amazon and it’s my man’s account and he got an email that the frozen fruit I got is being recalled bc it might have an infectious disease in it and I’ve already had two smoothies with it and I’m fine but now I’m STRESSED bc smoothies are 40% of what I eat but also I can’t afford to buy groceries this week bc I’ve had to buy so much random shit lately and that bag was supposed to get me through next week :/

So I’m on my precious lunch break trying to get a refund so I can literally just get one fucking bag of frozen fruit but it wasn’t working bc my man isn’t near his phone and he has to verify stuff and now I’m upset :)

I LOVE how fast thinking about food can ruin my day and make me almost cry that’s really great and fun and normal

[bitch-and-purge]

Stop washing your hair daily stop shaving your pubic hair stop using a million products on your face if you have no idea what’s in them stop whitening your teeth stop popping your zits stop “cleaning” your vagina stop taking diet pills stop using sunscreen that has chemicals that literally increase your chance of getting skin cancer stop buying into every new nutritional/diet fad that’s gonna get disproven in two years stop using those stupid wrinkle-proof drinking straws stop using anti-aging products stop killing your hair with excessive heat or ammonia or whatever stop believing industries that only create insecurities to sell you solutions stop believing industries that will desperately try to keep pumping you for money for your entire life stop prioritizing beauty or cleanliness over being healthy and normal stop killing your body for the sake of looking healthier instead of being healthier. God.

[attentionobsession]

I don't even think looking at thinspo is affecting my mental health so much as seeing white thinspo is. All day. Every day.

Even when I see ✨ POC THINSPO ✨ it's always black people, and as much as black women, men, nonbinary folk, etc., are stunning and magical and worthy of love... POC doesn't mean just black.

I want latinx thinspo.

I want mixed thinspo.

I want indigenous thinspo.

I want south asian thinspo.

I want middle eastern thinspo.

And more than that?

I want thinspo of girls in hijab.

I want thinspo of wlw.

I want malespo that ISN'T blatantly pulled from porn.

I want thinspo of short people.

I want thinspo of gnc people.

I want thinspo of nonbinary people that aren't just androgynous, masc-leaning, and white.

I want to see someone who looks like me. I want to know that I can be beautiful/handsome/whatever to someone.

I want to see a variety of people that accurately represents the world around me.

And I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but the world I live in isn't just black and white.

[rickys-not-dead]

[m318x2]

inside me there are two wolves

[melathinn]

I was telling my man my stomach hurt but upon further consideration. I might be experiencing hunger :/

[melathinn]

I’m this close to buying a new scale I just don’t trust mine anymore!!!!

[melathinn]

Got a lil frisky for a moment and ran a rat tail comb along my hipbones and briefly remembered how fucking good ******* feels but I actually left marks :///

[melathinn]

Wow I’m getting abs, it was never the goal and tbh probably part of why the scale isn’t moving but….I do look like the kind of lesbian who wears a bandana and a sports bra exclusively and 10000% cheats on you