art is a big long fuck. it’s not afraid. it says, I thought you said you’d almost killed her and in saying it, it kills her –it doesn’t matter who–, says art (or joanna), because joanna is someone who lies but i wont call her a liar until the song ends and no one has asked you to dance and no one is singing or dancing or coughing, and joanna holds you tight until the light flits up your veins like music and joanna says she loves you says nothing else could ever matter but you and her and joanna is small and white white red until the last chime of the last bell to be burned down in your grandmother’s forgotten home. once again the home has eaten itself. just like joanna. joanna has two faces. one face likes to lick and the other face likes to watch. joanna said it’ll all be over soon but joanna is a liar. i used to love joanna. Now I work in the medical-industrial complex and feel my life is important. sometimes my eyelids feel hot and small lights flit around my line of sight. i don’t know what they are. i think joanna might know. hello? joanna, are you there? it’s me, your old roommate. the one from boarding school. i wrote about you once, and turned it in and won five hundred dollars and twenty seven cents. what was it? i don’t know. something i wrote. why does it matter? it’s not like anyone died, joanna. it’s not like anyone died. why are you echoing me, joanna. you don’t have to tell me i’m a liar. you don’t have to tell me what kanye said, joanna. joanna, are you there? i’m sorry. joanna, are you there? joanna, are you okay? are you even there? do you have a big secret to tell me? did mother have a second child and name it joanna? did you fuck me in your dream last night, joanna? joanna, could you hand me one of those violet candies, joanna? joanna, do you remember that time i made all those cuts on my leg, joanna? joanna, do you remember that time i committed a crime, joanna? joanna, do you remember that old poem i wrote, joanna? you said i wrote it before i met you but it’s not true. (but i don’t know if it’s a lie, either.) joanna, in the poem i said fuck me. but it’s funny because you’ve been fucking me this whole time. joanna sometimes i imagine things are over. sometimes i imagine everyone dies and then what do i do. joanna it’s not that i’m lonely but sometimes i think i secretly want to fuck everyone joanna sometimes i walk out into the living room and i think there is someone there for a second and i get scared joanna every time i think of you i cry because i realize how stupid i am joanna one time i wanted to marry you i used to love you Now I listen to people’s problems and write them down and accumulate lists of tattoos i would get and places i would go if i weren’t in love. joanna i’m afraid to tell you who he is. joanna i’m afraid you won’t like him. joanna i’m just trying to pay off all your bills anyway. joanna i want to do drugs but i’m still afraid of asking permission. joanna one time i called the boy i loved. joanna this state of in-between will eat me up. joanna if i’m in love with him and we’re getting married why do i feel this way. joanna why are you making me cry again. joanna get off of me. joanna get off. joanna! joanna stop! joanna stop! joanna get off of me stop! joanna get off stop that! joanna joanna joanna Now sometimes I think things could be different and then I almost kiss someone else, and then I go home and sleep.
