Melia Vs. Cancer @meliavscancer - Tumblr Blog

(by Alexander)

Hey there! So, I’m a bad tumblr blogger and I haven’t updated this blog in, like, forever – and very sporadically before that. But if anyone still pays the slightest bit of attention to this blog, I’d like to promote a new fictional radio-drama podcast I’ve go written and co-produced this past year. It’s called Greater Boston and it’s set in an alt-universe Boston where some of the streets in the North End are still sticky from the great molasses flood and the fire on Spectacle Island never went out. It’ll be debuting within the next couple of months. The first season is written and recorded and my collaborator and I have been hard at work editing the first couple of episodes. A couple trailers should be up later this week and the first episode will probably be out sometime in February. I’ve spent a lot of time on this. I want it to be good. I want people to listen to it. I may even start another blog about it. If so, I’ll let you folks know about that blog. The website URL is above. I hope you check it out and listen. Thanks and be well.

Day 58: Buckle Up And Endure Now, Baby

I’m feeling less whiny today.

But has it really been 58 days? Shit, that seems like a long time. The third cycle has taken a while to recover from, but I’ve been starting to feel ok the past few days. Sitting up straight, walking around, eating a lot. This is my “fat week,” where I try and load up on whatever before treatment comes and everything makes me nauseous. Milkshakes are awesome. I think I’m still dealing with Chemo Brain, but I seem to have a bit more clarity now. Getting a lot of TV watching in too. Big fan of Fargo, Drunk History, and Nathan For You right now.

Went into work yesterday. It was fine, except for the fact that someone ordered deviled eggs. Seriously...nothing grosser. Also, people definitely act weird around you when you’re a chemo patient. It’s cool, I’m not contagious. You won’t catch cancer from me. It’s kind of a bummer, but to be fair, I’d probably be acting the same way.

Ok! A week to go before the (hopefully) last push! Time to mentally prepare myself.

#cancer #chemo

Day 49: Gimme Something Good

WARNING: Complaining ahead. Read at your own risk.

I should be in Europe right now. Copenhagen, Berlin, Reykjavik...That was the plan earlier this year at least. Instead I spent the week having around five different nurses poke and prod at my arms to find a decent enough vein to inject poison into. It took a lot. My third five day push is now over, and originally I’d be nearing the end, but again, with the clot, I have some more to go. My eyes are now on you November 2nd. Mentally and physically, I’m drained. “Chemo Brain” seems to be in full effect as well. I hope what I’m writing even makes sense. Really just wanting for things to go back to normal now. I’d even rather just be going into work. Speaking of which, my “vacation” time is now officially spent, so now I’m entering unpaid territory. Good thing healthcare is free in America.

Ok sorry, just needed to vent for a second. I have two weeks off before the next cycle now, so hopefully I should have some good days in there. The finish line is there, let’s keep pushing forward.

Day 37: Bloodclot, I Can See 360

Ok, so a lot just happened. Let’s begin.

Last Sunday, I woke up feeling pretty shitty. Some weird abdominal pains, and that rapid heart rate still hanging on. I tried to ride it out, but at like 5pm, I decided to have Lydia take me to the Brigham and Women’s ER to have it checked out. Once there, my pulse was still jackhammering away like I just ran a marathon so they gave me another EKG. Again, normal. After that, they hooked me up to some fluids and took a ton of blood to test for a variety of things. I also spent a lot of time waiting around. The Brigham ER is crazy, there were like five serious car crashes that came in over the course of the night that obviously took priority. All my blood came back normal except for something called a D-Dimer, which is sort of vague, but can indicate a clot of some sort. Since I also had the fast pulse and some chest pain, they wanted to scan me for a pulmonary embolism. The doctor said they didn’t expect to find anything though.

But wouldn’t you know it? The scan came back showing two small clots on my lung. Awesome. I was then told I’d be spending a few days at the hospital as they hooked me up to some blood thinners. I was then moved from the dingy ER to a LUXURIOUS hospital room on the seventh floor (it seriously was pretty nice). At this point, I’m deliriously tired. I got maybe 15 nonconsecutive minutes of sleep. Every time I tried to close my eyes, a nurse would be in to take my vitals or more blood or something. Fun stuff.

After my bag of blood thinners finished, I was told I might actually get to go home that day. All my other tests looked good, so I could continue giving myself treatment at home. After some more waiting around, I got to go home about 24 hours after I first arrived. Now at home, I need to inject myself in the stomach twice a day with blood thinners. Hopefully I’ll get to switch to a pill in a few weeks...it’s not a ton of fun.

So, yeah. This is just something else I need to deal with now. The good news is that since they needed to take a look at my insides, they noticed my lymph nodes have shrunk a good amount, so the chemo is working. The flip side to that is now they need to change my treatment schedule with all this stuff going on. Which means I won’t be taking bleomycin anymore, but now I have two five day pushes instead of just one left. That means I won’t finish till early November now. Not ideal, but at least we know we’re on the right track. IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING. Physically, I’ve actually been feeling ok, so I might try and go out to the movies or something this weekend. Crazy, I know.

But check out the cool hat Doyle got me.

Day 31: And The Blood River Raced, Like The Sweat Down My Face

Ooof. This week was the hardest one yet. Lots of time just spent lying in bed. My no puke streak has ended, and now it seems my body can't get enough of it to make up for lost time. This is an effective weight loss program at least.

I met with my oncologist yesterday for Bleo Friday. My blood counts are back up and apparently my body is handling things well. That doesn’t seem right, but ok. My heart rate has been real high though, so they gave me an EKG to make sure my rhythm and everything was ok. After the all clear, it was infusion time.

But man, last night was tough. Got a fever and chills like last time, but with the added bonus of not being able to keep anything, including water down. Big thanks to Lydia for helping to deal with all that. Things eventually settled down after some more pills, but it was an unpleasant experience to say the least. I’ve felt better today, mostly just tired.

We’re over the halfway point now, so I’m trying to focus the positives of that. Really not looking forward to the next push though, since now I know the effects are cumulative. Just gotta fight through it!

What my days look like.

Day 26: See A Little Light

Ok! Just wrapped up the second five day push. Is the cancer gone yet? Well I know the stink is back with a vengeance, but just got to ride it out. Nothing too eventful to report the past few days, my arms are looking pretty gross though. It will be nice to have another few iv free days. I do have to briefly go back to DF tomorrow though for that white blood shot. Apparently that one makes your bones hurt. That’s a new one.

So yeah, rest week here we come. I’m missing Teenage Bottlerocket tonight and Bob Mould on Wednesday, which is a bummer, but they’ll be back I assume (RIGHT?!). At least I have precious tv to keep me occupied. Also a new Ikea couch is coming shortly! So we got that going for us.

Day 23: A Rush And A Push

Now where were we? Well, cycle two has official started. Went into DF yesterday for my blood work and to start my second five day push. My blood seemed to be ok, but I’ll still be getting that shot at the end of the five days to help with my white blood cells.

It was a loooong day. I got in around 9, and didn’t end up leaving till 5:30. Lots of fluids to pump through, and apparently Dana Farber has been super backed up lately. Apparently cancer is very popular right now. Things went pretty smoothly, except my veins were being difficult. I ended up getting poked like four separate times. Real annoying. I don’t know how heroin addicts do it. Speaking of annoying, it took us an hour to drive the 4 miles from Longwood to Somerville. Hmm...what else can I complain about?

When we did finally get home, I just watched Jeopardy and played video games until I started to fall asleep around 8:30. Now, I’m back for day two of the push. Let’s keep moving.

#cancer #chemo

Day 17: Show Me The Fever, Into The Fire

Yesterday was my Bleo/Bloodwork day. My immune system is starting to get a little beat up, so that probably means avoiding crowds and gross people for a bit. I’ll get some white blood cell booster thing in like a week or so. Other than that, things seem to be moving right along as planned. The Bleo knocked me out though. I got home, took a nap, and woke up with crazy aches and chills. I took my temperature, and it was around 100. Not super high, but concerning enough considering my blood counts. I REALLY didn’t want to go back to the hospital, so Lydia called the doctor to see what they thought. Apparently Bleo can cause a fever and chills a few hours after infusion, so he said to take some Tylenol and just check again in the morning. Sure enough, it got back down to 98ish. I’ll just have to keep an eye on it.

I don’t feel great today, but it’s mostly just fatigue, not nausea. Lydia got me a Union Square Donut for breakfast which helped. Also, my hair is really starting to go now. My pillow is covered and I clogged the shower. I’m guessing I’ll be totally bald in a few days. Looks like it’s time for some hats!

Today will consist of watching soccer and napping. Some friends might visit tomorrow assuming I feel better. Cycle two starts Thursday.

#cancer #chemo

Day 14: Lift Me Up

Has it really only been two full weeks since I started? Seems like it should be longer. Time flies when you’re having fun!

I’ve actually been feeling pretty good the past few days. I even went in to the office yesterday and worked from home today. It was actually nice to get a sense of normalcy back, and to be annoyed by dumb work shit instead of what’s happening to my body. It was also nice to see some other humans in my coworkers. Although I think everyone is secretly disappointed that I’m not totally bald yet.

Speaking of other humans, I had a lovely birthday on Monday. My parents and bro-in-law came over to hang out for a bit and have some delicious Pini’s Pizza. Gotta pack in those calories while my stomach is up for it...or that’s what I tell myself at least.

It should be another quiet day tomorrow, then Bleo on Friday, just in time for the weekend! Hopefully I’ll be feeling ok by Sunday, there’s a ROCK AND ROLL YARD SALE I don’t want to miss. Next week, cycle 2 officially begins. Damn you chemo for taking so long! Can’t they just give it to me all at once? (Note: I don’t actually want them to do that).

Day 11: Just Give A Little Bit Of Time

Ok, so maybe this won’t be a daily thing.

So where were we? A few days after the first five day push, I went back to Dana Farber for a checkup and a quick infusion. My labs looked pretty good, and my white blood cells are still stable which means I can go out in public without too much fear of becoming infected by something. After that, it was time for my weekly bleomycin, which is one of my three chemo drugs that they infuse in like 10 minutes instead of a few hours. I still don’t get how any of this works, I just hope it does.

While the actual stay was quick, it left me feeling pretty nasty, but today I feel like I’ve bounced back a bit. I may even try and go into work this week for a day or two just to do something productive and make sure they haven't taken over my office or something. Tomorrow, I turn 31. I plan to celebrate by giving my veins a rest.

Until next time. Also, in case you were wondering, the no puke streak still stands.

Day 6: Evenings Of Silence And Mornings Of Nausea

First day not at Dana Farber! The optimist in me was hoping I would be feeling strong and ready to take on the world without being strapped up to an iv for a day. Turns out, that was NOT the case. Chemo doesn’t want to just leave your body like that. I made sure to diligently take my pills, but it’s hard to say how much they helped. There’s also three different types all for nausea, so who knows what’s doing what.

I had to pick up something at the post office, so I dragged myself out the door to take a little walk. It’s only about a half mile from my apartment, but it sure as shit felt longer today, especially with having to dodge all the bed bug ridden offerings on the sidewalks. Allston Christmas isn’t just for Allston anymore. By the time I made it to the post office, I didn’t even want a delicious Union Square Donut from next-door. I MUST be sick! The rest of the day was even more uneventful. I was hoping to do some work, but still don’t think I’m there yet. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s thrilling adventures!

Day 5: Can’t Get The Stink Out

The smell was really the one side effect I wasn’t expecting, and it’s somehow been one of the more brutal ones. Again, it might be in my head, but there seems to be this nasty chemical funk that follows me wherever I go. Believe it or not, that doesn’t exactly help with nausea.

My treatment today started a lot later than the previous four. Most start around 8, but I wasn’t scheduled to get to DF until 2:15 today. That would be fine, except I had to wait a few extra hours to get my sweet, sweet, nausea meds. By the time the nurse came over, I was looking pretty pale and feeling pretty barfy. Somehow, the streak still stands, but it was real touch and go there for a bit. After a little while, I was able to eat some fries and a shake from B Good that Lydia got for me. It sucks, I have carte blanche to eat whatever I want (in fact, I’m encouraged to) and there are only small windows where anything seems appetizing. OH WELL.

With the late start, we didn’t leave DF until 7 or so, and as a result had to deal with some Sox and moving day traffic. Didn’t see any trucks stuck on Storrow though, so there’s that. Then it was more Simpsons/sleep, I think I almost stayed up until 9!

The aftermath.

Day 4: Cut Your Hair

Well, it doesn’t get easier. Although at least sleeping hasn’t been a problem. I didn’t even try to eat this morning, decided it would be better to wait until I got to DF for them to give me my anti-puke pills. After that, I enjoyed a hearty granola bar breakfast.

My nurse moved quickly today. Too quickly maybe? I was out in around three hours, but I’ve read elsewhere infusions should take a little longer. Oh well, I’m sure they know what they’re doing. I’m getting my fluids which is the important thing. Caitlin picked me up when I finished, and it was time for a new summer haircut, just in time for the fall! My head looks weird now though, will need to find some good hats.

The rest of the day mostly consisted of intermittently falling asleep on the couch while watching Simpsons reruns. Yet another exciting day in the books! Tomorrow is the final day of my first five day cycle. Let’s do this.

Day 3: Here’s Where The Strings Come In

Oh yeah, now I’m feeling it. Woke up super groggy this morning (it being 6am didn’t help I’m sure), and then made it about halfway through a Carnation Instant Breakfast and almond milk before I was heading for the toilet. I somehow managed to not puke, but my Seinfeld like streak will almost certainly come to an end soon. From there, I really wanted to just sit down in the shower, but I started to eventually get a bit more energy. My sister graciously drove me in today to give Lydia a break. I could still drive myself I suppose, but I’m starting to feel more confident having someone else do it.

No bed for me today! In a chair like some kind of chump. Still have my own tv though, so I was at least able to watch some soccer (they mercifully didn’t have the Liverpool game on). Overall, things were pretty similar to yesterday, and moved at a bit of a quicker pace which was nice. The anti-nausea pills work wonders and I was able to eat lunch and dinner no problem. I then went to bed at the perfectly reasonable time of 7:30. More of the same is in store for tomorrow, with possibly the added bonus of shaving my head.

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