you are tired, the kind with the same sway and pull of the tide around your ankles as your toes sink into the sand, like you could fall so easily--to sleep or to swim.

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@mellifluentsuggestion
you are tired, the kind with the same sway and pull of the tide around your ankles as your toes sink into the sand, like you could fall so easily--to sleep or to swim.
and this time, the heartbreak feels less like a shattering and more like a deafening of the whole world. how strange, the quietude all around as my body folds in on itself and my tears sound like shrieking.
would that i could, but as it stands, i live from sleep to sleep.
the moon is a coin of silver in the satin sky. the air is cool and empty and smells like water.
it’s a time to lay on dusty carpet floors and listen to the sound of the plastic fan stuttering as it turns on its base. sun melts in through the old curtains. all the puffs and cracks in the ceiling paint are familiar here.
the rain patters on the pavement and turns it spot by spot to match the cloudy sky. the wind chimes chirrup and the leaves scuff against one another and if you close your eyes, all the troubling thoughts melt into the ground with the water.
the sun on the morning frost makes the world look dusted with glitter. the sound round about is muffled except for the sound of your footsteps on the frigid grass. your breath mists in the air and your cheeks are warmed with blood that reminds you that you are alive.
it’s cold, the kind that makes your nose numb and your toes curl up in your shoes. but it also smells like dried leaves and woodsmoke and perhaps hot chocolate, so it’s all right.
you're on a safe, warmly-lit boat, far from the coast and the rocks and any city or land. you sit out on the bough and look out at the night sky, inky blue that practically blends into one smooth sheet with the still ocean. tiny sweeps of water caress the ship's edges as it glides, rising and falling, and the streaks of foam look like pale little dragons riding atop the waves. there is a loneliness so far out here, where there is nothing but the glassy black water, but it's a serene loneliness, one that is not empty, but soft and soothing.
the pastel sky is filled with lanterns like shimmering bubbles, casting warm gold light and dancing in the breeze. peony petals tickle your nose as they are lifted from their blossoms to swirl about. they cling to your hair. your toes are curled between the stalks of long, sweet grass which ripples like the ocean as far as you can see.
and aren't we all a little broken anyway? but light shining through broken glass casts lightning and prisms on the ground, so i suppose even the broken can make the world beautiful
summer: pulling up grass stalks with bare toes. sun pouring warmth into your skin. allergies and mosquito dusks and burning your fingers on door handles. cotton clouds and bumblebees and the way the wind sounds when verdant leaves shuffle in the breeze. watermelon stuck to your cheeks or barbecue smoke clinging to your clothes or just putting your hand on the window and feeling warmth outside. the earth smells alive, and playful.
the man in my mind strokes my hair with cool fingers to ease my throbbing headaches. somehow it helps.
perhaps your life is a book, rarely read, dusty, with crumbling pages and a sagging spine. perhaps it’s been waterlogged and patched hastily together, or the cover is missing. maybe some parts have been torn and marked out. but it’s still a book, and it still has pages. maybe you’re at the end of a chapter, but it needn’t be the end of the story.
the earth is rocketing through space, isn’t it? and yet here we stand, with the trees and the mice and the hot summer pavement. somehow. stars crashed and a galaxy swirled into existence and created this place and you, and me. somehow. there’s a reason we’re here, isn’t there?
the creek sends cold water tripping over your toes. it smells like slick stones, moss, and twilight. there are trees, tall trees, and the lavender sunset filters through their layers of leaves.