Of Citrus Flavors

a nsfw blog || main || tags || twitter

[melonmachinery]

Hi Everyone!

Since everyone is ditching tumblr since the inevitable apocalypse just wanted to say these are my twitter handles:

content/fic update news only: grandmelon

rt’s and shenanigans:   melonmachinery

nsfw rt’s and shenanigans: melon_citrus

[meloncitrus]

just in case anyone wants to know where else to find me!

[spicy-kiki-deactivated20220417]

Someone’s been a bad boy…‬

‪Submission for @sourinsummerfest ‬

‪Week 4: Dressing Up (nsfw)‬

‪Spent ages colouring this but think I prefer it in black and white 😅🙈 ‬

[meloncitrus]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

SouRin Fest 2018: @sourinsummerfest Title: Private Show Author: melonmachinery Week/Prompt: 4 - Dressing Up Fandom: Free! Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke Characters: Matsuoka Rin, Yamazaki Sousuke Additional Tags: Aged-Up Character(s), Established Relationship, Dress Up, Photography, Foreplay, Anal Sex, bottom!sousuke, Top!Rin, Lingerie, Wet Clothing, Formalwear, gold medalist Rin Series: Part 8 of SouRin Summer Fest 2018 Summary:

Rin wants material for when he has to leave Sousuke for a month. Of course, he's willing to do the same for him.

A/N:

This may or may not have just been a great excuse to put Sousuke in every single outfit I've wanted to see him in lol. Link to their final outfits! Hope you guys enjoy!

[meloncitrus]

Outfits:

DARK IN JUNE  Flower Cage Bralette

DARK IN JUNE Asymmetric Cage Briefs

VAGABOND -  Black Lace Victoriana Harness Top

MISSION 3 - Classic Cut High Waist Hotpants Shorts  

[meloncitrus]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

SouRin Fest 2018: @sourinsummerfest Title: Just Kidding Author: melonmachinery Week/Prompt: 3 - Long Distance Fandom: Free! Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke Characters: Matsuoka Rin, Yamazaki Sousuke Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Fluff, Awkward Flirting, Long-Distance Relationship, Sexual Frustration, Phone Sex, Mutual Masturbation Series: Part 6 of SouRin Summer Fest 2018 Summary:

It all starts with Rin joking about sending nudes.

A/N:

Welp, happy week 3 everyone!!!!!

[bigbigtruck]

“Ordinary Over You”, my 3rd YOI doujinshi (and first solo doujinshi) is now available at bigbigtruck.itch.io!

$5.00 USD, 40pp, 200 ppi PDF, 42 MB.

This fanzine contains sexually explicit material and is intended for mature adults only.  Must be over 18 to purchase.

After a paparazzi encounter shakes Yuuri a bit, Viktor suggests a romantic strategy to boost Yuuri’s confidence. It works a little too well.

Contents: dom/sub, praise and compliments, body worship, hand job, established relationship, humor, domesticity, goofs, cold dog nose boopin’ a bare buttcheek.

Content warnings: - Character pairing is Yuuri x Viktor, then Viktor x Yuuri. - In addition to adult language and graphic sexual content, this story contains dom/sub roleplay, praise kink, consent/permission kink, premature ejaculation, use of alcohol, and discussion of anxiety disorder. Please do not read if you are disturbed by such content.

Thank you and enjoy!!

[meloncitrus]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

SouRin Fest 2018: @sourinsummerfest Title: Melting Point Author: melonmachinery Week/Prompt: 2 - Onsen Fandom: Free! Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke Characters: Matsuoka Rin, Yamazaki Sousuke Additional Tags: Aged-Up Character(s), Post-Olympics, Established Relationship, Hot Springs & Onsen, Fluff, Switching, Bottom!Rin, top!Sousuke, Anal Sex Series: Part 4 of SouRin Summer Fest 2018 Summary:

Rin is determined to make their mini vacation the best and most relaxing Sousuke's ever had, because he deserves it.

A/N:

I hope everyone enjoys Sousuke getting pampered.

[broniichan-deactivated20200701]

on hands and knees

fandom: free!

pairing: matsuoka rin/yamazaki sousuke

rating: mature

words: 1993

tags: Flashbacks, Minor Injuries, Sexual Content, unrepentantly indulgent, plot? i don’t know her

Always back and forth, the two of them.

this is written for the @sourinsummerfest week 1, combo of both sfw and nsfw prompts ‘childhood memories’ and sort of??? ‘first time’

read on ao3

[meloncitrus]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

SouRin Fest 2018: @sourinsummerfest Title: Fumbling Firsts Author: melonmachinery Week/Prompt: 1 - First Time Fandom: Free! Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke Characters: Yamazaki Sousuke, Matsuoka Rin Additional Tags: First Time, bottom!sousuke, Top!Rin, Fluff, Established Relationship, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex Series: Part 2 of SouRin Summer Fest 2018 Summary:

First times don't always go as planned, but that doesn't mean they're always bad.

A/N: I hope everyone enjoys this!!! Let me know if this new link-only format is good or if you want me to post the whole thing here! Trying to make it easier to read.

[uxlolxu]

These have been on my computer for a while now. Thought I’d upload…

[bigbigtruck]

i love them ok

(page 14 and part of page 15 from new YOI doujinshi)

[meloncitrus]

Fic Master Post

SouRin -

Is This Okay?

Whatever You Want

Pleasing

Claimed

Birthday Presents

First

[meloncitrus]

Free! Fanfic - First (Chapter Links)

Title: First Fandom: Free! Pairings: Sousuke/Rin Rating: M Warnings: Angst, Insecurities, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Issues w/ Gender Roles, Issues w/ Sex, Eventual Sex, more warning tags on AO3

Summary:

It doesn’t matter to Sousuke what emotional hangups Rin has, he still loves him. They still bother Rin, but he tries to find the courage to get past them, because he still loves Sousuke.

A fic about emotional healing and sex.

AO3

Chapters 1-10

ch.1 / ch.2 / ch.3 / ch.4 / ch.5 / ch.6 / ch.7 / ch.8 / ch.9 / ch.10

Chapters 11-20

ch.11 / ch.12 / ch.13 / ch.14 / ch.15 / ch.16 / ch.17 / ch.18 / ch.19 / ch.20

Chapters 21-30

ch.21 / ch.22 / ch.23 / ch.24 / ch.25 / ch.26 / ch.27 / ch.28 / ch.29 / ch.30

Chapters 30-Epilogue

ch.31 / ch.32 / ch.33 / ch.34 / ch.35 / ch.36 / Epilogue

[meloncitrus]

Free! Fic - First (Epilogue)

Title: First Fandom: Free! Pairings: Sousuke/Rin Rating: M Warnings: Angst, Insecurities, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Issues w/ Gender Roles, Issues w/ Sex, Eventual Sex Chapter Word Count: ~1.5k

Summary:

It doesn’t matter to Sousuke what emotional hangups Rin has, he still loves him. They still bother Rin, but he tries to find the courage to get past them, because he still loves Sousuke.

A fic about emotional healing and sex.

A/N:

Well, now that it's over I don't even know what to say. I hope you guys enjoyed it, this story means a lot to me, and I'm still not sure I'm entirely satisfied with it, but I'm never satisfied with my writing lol. Thank you everyone who stuck with me to the end!

ao3

chapters 1-30 / ch.31 / ch.32 / ch.33 / ch.34 / ch.35 / ch.36 / Epilogue

Epilogue

Rin scrubbed himself clean, reveling in the delight that was body wash, and grinning when he heard Sousuke enter the bathroom. The door shutting closed and his favorite person stepping inside the spray, hissing that it was too cold. Rin shuffled away from him, waiting until he was thoroughly soaped up before giving him a kiss.

“You don’t have to always do that,” Sousuke said, smiling.

“You don't always have to change the sheets for me, but you do. Besides, I don't mind,” Rin said, returning that smile with a soft one of his own.

He didn’t mind, though he still wasn’t fond of touching anyone or anything until everyone was clean. Some things never changed, but showering with Sousuke after a night rolling around in the sheets was always worth the extra effort. It was no effort at all, with their new bathroom. It was expensive, sure, but it was worth the money and Rin could not have been more pleasantly surprised in being able to have them both in there comfortably.

“The contractor is coming again tomorrow to work on the kitchen,” Sousuke said, yawning. “Will you be here for that, or do I actually have to wake up tomorrow?”

“You should wake up anyways,” Rin scoffed, stepping out of the shower and drying off. “But I took the day off so it’s fine. I can’t wait for all this to be over.”

“You’re the one who wanted the house to be ‘perfect,’” Sousuke hummed, rinsing off and turning off the shower. “How you feeling tonight? Full pajamas?”

“I’m okay,” Rin said, shrugging as he dried off. “Shirts and underwear is fine. Just make sure you remember to put some pants on before you walk downstairs, I don’t need to remind you what happened last time.”

“Look, why is it my fault you always have to have strangers in our house.”

“You’re such a baby,” Rin laughed, walking out of the bathroom and into their room. “It’ll soon be over.”

“Until you decide we need to add an addition, or redo the living room, or get an inground pool,” Sousuke said, flopping onto the bed, stuffing his arms under his head. “How are you feeling though, really?”

“A little uncomfortable,” Rin admitted, squirming just a bit, but smiling none the less as he put on his underwear and sweatpants. Throwing on one of Sousuke’s shirts he threw another on the lump lying on the bed, along with a pair of underwear. “It was good though, I had fun. It’s been awhile since we did it like that,” Rin mused, shifting again as he walked over to turn off the overhead light. Turning on the bedside lamp as he crawled into the bed, the movement causing his hips to feel uncomfortable, a little odd and a little sensitive.

“I was surprised you suggested it,” Sousuke said, rolling onto his side and giving him a once over before getting dressed. “But I’m glad you felt good.”

“I always feel good when I’m with you,” Rin said, settling against Sousuke’s chest, letting his head rest against his arm. “You know Mom and Gou called again, yelling at me because we ‘should have planned to have a ceremony’ for our tenth. Ten years and they’re still going on about it. I don't think they'll ever get over us just getting the papers done.”

“We are guilty for not telling them we were going to do it,” Sousuke reminded him.

“If we did we’d have to wait another two years just for them to get everything ‘right for the big day.’ We waited long enough.”

“I still think it’d be less of a hassle if you just let them plan a wedding. Easier than trying to fight them anyways. They've only become more persistent over the years,” Sousuke said, grabbing Rin’s hand and pulling it up to face to give the ring on his finger a kiss. “Besides, I wouldn't mind marrying you a second time.”

“It’s a lot of money and work,” Rin sighed, though he let his lips quirk at the idea. “I’ll think about it.”

“You do that,” he yawned. “In the meantime,” Sousuke said, rolling onto his side and pulling Rin in close. Running a gentle hand through his hair, and giving him a kiss on the forehead. “It’s time for someone to get their beauty sleep.”

“I’m not that tired,” Rin mused, rubbing circles into Sousuke’s back.

“I was talking about me.”

Rin kneed him, laughing as the other complained about the abuse. “Alright, go to bed sleeping beauty. I love you.”

“I love you too, even if you’re a pretty shitty prince.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“At least I remembered tomorrow’s our anniversary,” Rin said, holding Sousuke tight when he tried to pull back.

“What!? Is it really—fuck! How did I forget that?” Sousuke grumbled, giving up struggling against Rin’s grip. “And we’re going to spend it dealing with strangers coming to work on our kitchen?”

“I had more plans than that, but that will have to get done tomorrow,” Rin said, eyes fluttering closed. “Tomorrow I’m going to show you how much I love you. How grateful I am you chose me, and you stayed by my side despite the way I am.”

“There’s no despite anything, and you show me your love every day,” Sousuke whispered, kissing him. “Will you ever stop being so sappy about our anniversary?”

“How can I when it’s the day I get celebrate all you've given me. Time, patience, love. You taught me how to love myself, to accept the way I am and to stop fighting it. You taught me how to love others, how to love you. You helped me chase and achieve my dreams, everything that's important in my life is tied to you. And tomorrow I get to celebrate that,” Rin said, looking at him, surprised when Sousuke turned in his grasp. Staring at his back, Rin’s smile fell. He heard a soft noise and sat up. “Are you crying?”

Sousuke said nothing, hiding his eyes with his arm, though there was a tremble in his chin.  

“I didn’t want to make you cry,” Rin said, leaning down to kiss him. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” he insisted, though his voice was unsteady. Rin rubbed at his arm, pretending he believed him, he decided to change the subject.

“Guess I should have saved that for tomorrow, huh? One-upped myself right before the big day,” Rin said. “Now how am I supposed to embarrass you in front of all of our friends.”

“Please tell me that's a joke,” Sousuke said looking back at him, eyes a little red, but dryer.

“A decade is a big achievement,” Rin said, smiling. “I mean, as far as Gou and Mom are concerned. They just want to make a big fuss. Guess they invited everyone they could think of, even the Mikoshibas and Ai.”

“Both of the Mikoshibas?”

“Both,” Rin said, laughing at the exasperation in his voice. “They even reserved a party room in this big fancy restaurant.”

“We’re going to get kicked out, I hope you know,” Sousuke said, smirking as he turned onto his back. “I take it back, don't ever let Gou and your mom plan a wedding. I can already feel the headache coming on.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Rin laughed, settling back down. Curling up into his side.

“It's an early dinner, which means no one is going to be drinking and we can get home at a reasonable hour,” Rin continued. “And then we can have a private celebration, just the two of us.”

“Please tell me that means we get to sleep,” Sousuke said, laughing when Rin jabbed a finger into his side. “Kidding, kidding. Actually I have some plans for tomorrow too so I'm glad we’re getting home early.”

“Plans? I thought you forgot,” Rin said, turning to look at him. Sharing a kiss and settling further into bed, Sousuke hummed.

“It's not something that has a time restriction.”

“Well that's mysterious,” Rin yawned. Sousuke yawning in kind. “Guess I've got something to look forward to tomorrow.”

“And another day with me isn't?”

“Who’d want to spend another day with you,” he teased. “Get some rest sleeping beauty, you don't want those bags under your eyes to be too dark.”

“You love me and my bags, admit it.”

“I guess so,” Rin hummed, lifting a hand to touch said bags. “Because I can't imagine a single day without you.”

“Sap,” Sousuke said, voice wavering again.

“Goodnight Sousuke,” Rin chuckled, reaching back to turn off the light before wiggling his way into a comfortable spot and closing his eyes.

“Goodnight, Rin.”

[meloncitrus]

Free! Fic - First (Ch.36)

Title: First Fandom: Free! Pairings: Sousuke/Rin Rating: M Warnings: Angst, Insecurities, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Issues w/ Gender Roles, Issues w/ Sex, Eventual Sex Chapter Word Count: ~1.7k

Summary:

It doesn’t matter to Sousuke what emotional hangups Rin has, he still loves him. They still bother Rin, but he tries to find the courage to get past them, because he still loves Sousuke.

A fic about emotional healing and sex.

ao3

chapters 1-30 / ch.31 / ch.32 / ch.33 / ch.34 / ch.35 / ch.36 / Epilogue

Chapter 36

Rin stared at the luggage he had packed. In the blink of an eye he had to go back to Australia. Just like that, after all that had happened to them during his stay, he had to leave now, with still so many questions and longings. Sousuke kissed his cheek, hugging him against his chest and sighing against his head.

“One more day,” Sousuke reminded him. “Don’t waste today thinking about tomorrow’s flight.”

“When will I get to see you again?” Rin asked, knowing neither of them knew the answer.

“Not soon enough, but sooner than you think,” Sousuke answered, pulling him towards the living room. “I have something for you.”

“A goodbye present?” Rin sulked, knowing he was being ridiculous, but feeling a resistance to go back more than he had ever felt before. Things were getting so good for them, they were on the same page, the anxieties from their first time where already mere memories and yet just like always Rin had to go and ruin it by leaving. They were finally getting comfortable, into a pace that was perfect and purely them, and he was going to be on a flight to Australia tomorrow.

“You really need to stop that,” Sousuke said, poking his forehead before holding out a key. Rin stopped, looking at it perplexed.

“You need your spare key,” he reminded him, looking back up, eyes widening as Sousuke pressed a smile into his lips.

“This isn’t the spare, this one is just for you. For whenever you’re in Tokyo,” Sousuke said, leaning their foreheads together. “You never have to ask beforehand, or let me know you’re coming. I know it’s a bit presumptuous of me, I know you have Gou and your mom too but, if you want to consider this a kind of home to return to,” he continued, voice trailing off.

“I’ve considered wherever you are home for a while now,” Rin said, smiling when he saw the shock cross Sousuke’s face before his fingers were threading themselves through his hair and pulling him in for a soft kiss.

“I’m going to miss this,” he sighed, pulling back and holding Rin against him. “It was hard enough after graduation.”

“I’m going to practice by myself now too—you can’t just keep getting ahead of me,” Rin said, looking at him. “I should take away those toys. It’s not fair that you were doing that without me.”

“You can have them, probably won’t be enough now anyways,” Sousuke joked, laughing hard enough to shake Rin from his comfortable position once he saw how embarrassed he was.

“How can you just say shit like that,” Rin hissed, hitting him with one of the cushions. They both broke down in laughter, Rin unable to help himself listening to such a wonderful sound.

“But really,” Sousuke said, calming down with harsh breaths. “I had smaller ones to start out with but got rid of those. You really need to take it slow, you know? If you weren’t so paranoid I’d suggest stepping up our long-distance calls to video chats.”

“Sousuke!” Rin yelled, hitting him again. “Isn’t it embarrassing enough just doing that during a call?”

“I’m kidding,” Sousuke laughed, grabbing hold of the cushion and wrestling it out of his hands. “This thing is dangerous, you need to control your strength.”

“Yeah right,” Rin said, plopping back into his side and grabbing his hand, staring at the silver ring. They sat in a comfortable silence, Rin mulling over their time together. “I shouldn’t have been so lame while I was here.”

“What do you mean by that?” Sousuke asked, a gruffness to his voice as he frowned. Rin shrugged, playing with Sousuke’s fingers. He twisted the ring a couple times before sliding his fingers between Sousuke’s.

“Just that we had so much time and I wasted it. I mean our first time was fine so—I don’t know I just feel like we could have, done it more?” Rin mumbled, ears beat red.

“You need to relax about all that,” Sousuke huffed. “Always worrying yourself into a hole. I don’t know if you know this but you’re not the only one who was a virgin, and certainly not the only one who was nervous.”

“Lies, you seemed okay with it,” Rin accused, turning to him and poking his chest. “And we could have done more—like the other day when you wanted to but I,” Rin sighed, turning back and pulling his legs up to distract himself. “I’m just saying I could have done more to make you feel better.”

“Rin, whatever experience you think I got from messing around myself was in no way preparation for how it really was. I can’t even explain it to you,” Sousuke said, frustration in his voice.

“Then show me,” Rin challenged, turning around and sitting on his knees. “It’s our last night together. Show me. We’ve been practicing—I can handle it.”

“No,” Sousuke said, flat and final. Rin shrunk under the rejection but Sousuke just pulled him back. “You’ve only just started, and we have all the time in the world Rin. Believe me, having your first time like that and getting on a plane to another country is not going to go over well. Even a few minutes apart and we both were a mess.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Rin mumbled. Sousuke sighed again and ran a hand through his hair.

“Rin, you weren’t the only one feeling, strange, after all that. And I have always been okay with going at your pace, a lot of the times your pace is what I need too. All that stuff you're worried about, what you've been dealing with, haven't I made it clear that it's okay? That it's great if things change because I know how bad you want it to, but even if it doesn't that it's fine? That I'm just happy being with you?”

“I know,” Rin said, face growing hot. “And I know you were nervous too. I don’t want to make it seem like your feelings don’t matter. I just, I don’t know. I wish we had more time.”

“And we do, just not right now.”

Rin glanced at him and leaned into the petting, the soft scratching and massaging of his scalp calming him down. “We have time,” he said, testing those words.

“All the time in the world,” Sousuke agreed. “You don’t have to rush things, I know you’re annoyed because I’m always saying that but it’s the truth. I’ll always be here.”

“You will,” Rin repeated, not a question, but a statement. “We’ll always be together.”

“Even when we’re continents apart,” Sousuke said, laughing when Rin dug his head into his neck. “Now instead of wasting the rest of the night sulking about tomorrow, don’t you want to do something fun? We could go out and eat, or rent a movie.”

Rin said nothing, toying with Sousuke’s shirt before sitting back and staring down at his own hands. “You’re really okay with this?”

“With what?”

“With me, the way I am,” Rin said, wringing his hands until they were an angry red. “What if one day I tell you I never want to have sex again?”

“Then we won't have sex,” Sousuke said, sure of his answer as he wrapped an arm around Rin, pulling him closer. “I've said that from the beginning.”

“Yeah but just now you were talking about how those toys won't be enough and,” Rin said, stopping when Sousuke held a hand out for him. Rin looked at him as he took it, looking for answers in his eyes.

“Rin, I was joking. And even if I wasn't, none of that would be more important than your happiness. Feeling comfortable with me, feeling comfortable in this relationship,” Sousuke said, tucking some loose strands of Rin’s hair behind his ear.

“I do feel comfortable with you,” he argued, holding the hand in his a little firmer. “I just, I don't want you to be forcing yourself for me. Like what if more times like the other day happen? What if you want to do something and I, I just can't do it?”

“You don't need to worry about all that, being beside you is like breathing, Rin. And you don't need to worry about not having sex with me when I feel like it, what would you do if I was the one who didn't feel like it? Would you resent me for that?”

“Of course not,” Rin said, frowning at the very thought. “I’d just take care of it myself, or forget about it.”

“Right?” Sousuke said, chuckling when Rin started to sulk. He sighed a tired, but fond sigh, and Rin wondered what he was thinking.

“Sousuke?”

“You know, I've probably been in love with you my whole life.”

Rin’s cheeks flushed and he looked away, his lips twitching into a smile. “You sound ridiculous, like a sappy romance movie.”

“You love those movies,” Sousuke countered, leaning against him, resting his head against his. Rin leaned into the comfort he felt.

“Yeah, I do.” Rin looked at the clock on the wall and felt his heart clench. “Let's watch something, Sousuke.”

“Okay,” Sousuke said, sitting up and grabbing the TV remote. Rin got up, walking back to the bedroom. “Rin?”

“I’ll be right there!” Rin opened his suitcase, pulling out some of his favorite shirts and pants and walking over to Sousuke’s dresser, putting them inside.

Grabbing some of his accessories he put them in the bowl Rin had been using during his stay, just a simple glass one to hold his rings and bracelets. Smiling a second, looking at his stuff sitting there casually, like it belonged there, he zipped the suitcase back up and propped it against the door with his duffle bag.

“What are you doing?” Sousuke asked, standing just outside the doorway. “Did you change your mind?”

“No,” Rin said, turning around and wiping at moist eyes. “I just needed to do something first. What should we watch tonight?”

“Winners choice?” Sousuke offered, holding out a fist. Smiling, Rin lifted his own.

“My choice, huh?”

[meloncitrus]

Free! Fic - First (Ch.35)

Title: First Fandom: Free! Pairings: Sousuke/Rin Rating: M Warnings: Angst, Insecurities, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Issues w/ Gender Roles, Issues w/ Sex, Eventual Sex Chapter Word Count: ~1.5k

Summary:

It doesn’t matter to Sousuke what emotional hangups Rin has, he still loves him. They still bother Rin, but he tries to find the courage to get past them, because he still loves Sousuke.

A fic about emotional healing and sex.

ao3

chapters 1-30 / ch.31 / ch.32 / ch.33 / ch.34 / ch.35 / ch.36 / Epilogue

Chapter 35

Rin had imagined waking up and seeing Sousuke the first time after sex a million times, all a slight variation of love and ground-breaking realizations. Some even entertained the fantasy that all his fears would simply dissipate after it happened.

What happened was a lot less fairytale like, but it was still enough to have Rin in the clouds. Rin woke up before Sousuke, as he always did, but instead of hopping out of bed for his morning run he stayed to observe the gentle rise of his chest. To watch the way the morning light fell on Sousuke’s side, the soft cotton of his t-shirt wrinkled and his arms pillowed under his head.

He was entranced by the soft breaths escaping Sousuke’s parted lips, the dark lashes that fluttered against his cheeks whenever Rin moved. The thick dark eyebrows that remained relaxed on his forehead as he slept. The love he felt in his heart was alive, growing, expanding, and it stole his breath away. He wondered what he would say once he woke. How he’d feel after all that happened between them. How this boy, who had been by his side since they were just naïve children playing make believe in his backyard, was sleeping there so soundly beside him. The glint of Sousuke’s ring peeking out from under the pillow a reminder to how much the other was committed to him.

Committed to making him happy, and safe, whether it be in the water or during the most private moments of life, Sousuke was always trying his best for Rin. It made his eyes water, thinking of how much he was loved and how lonely it must have been during those years without him. Thinking about how even after he came back he had given Sousuke so much grief due to his own problems. Allowing a small moment of self-loathing and pity, Rin shook it off and settled down in bed, hand going up to brush back Sousuke’s bangs.

His chest rose higher, a deep breath as his eyes fluttered open for a second, glancing at Rin through sleep-laden eyes before closing them again and smiling. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Rin echoed, pulling the blanket up his shoulders a little more, smiling as he let himself relax.

“You done with your run already?” Sousuke asked, mumbling through most of his words as he dug his face back into his pillow.

“Never left.”

Sousuke stopped his burrowing for a moment, eyes opening and turning to face Rin. The down turn of his eyebrows and the small purse of his lips telling Rin all he needed to know, he was worried something was wrong. Rin chuckled, hiding himself a little more with the covers. Sousuke relaxed then, scooting down and close to Rin so they were both hidden by the heavy comforter, both laughing before giving each other a kiss. Sousuke hummed, laughing through his nose before pulling back and rubbing at his eyes.

“Been awhile since I’ve smelt that morning breath.”

“Now you know my pain,” Rin said, cuddling into Sousuke’s side. “How do you feel?”

“Tired.”

“I mean besides that,” Rin said, rolling his eyes. He let his arm wrap around Sousuke, pulling him close. “Does it hurt?”

“M’fine,” he yawned, letting himself hug onto Rin and tuck him into his chest. “Let’s sleep a little more.”

“I should really get up for that run though.”

“Just a little longer,” Sousuke whined, nuzzling his face into Rin’s hair. Rin settled in, moving himself into a more comfortable position and sighing against Sousuke’s chest.

“Just a little,” he hummed, letting his eyes close.

Sousuke’s gentle breathing and heart beat were all it took to put Rin back to sleep.

When he woke up again it was to the painful ache of ignoring his bladder for too long. He jumped out of bed without much thought, driven by instinct as he rubbed at his eyes and made his way to the bathroom. The sound of clanking dishes in the kitchen was the second thing he became aware of. Following the noise he found Sousuke heating up some left overs.

“Running late?”

“Slept longer than I thought,” Sousuke laughed. “I won’t be long this time, my second class was canceled. Do you want me to pick up something for dinner?”

“We can worry about that when you get back,” Rin said, feeling like he was in a movie. Like he was looking in, not really a part of the scene, just watching. Just as that train of thought got darker, Sousuke smiled at him so bright Rin’s heart felt like it was going to pop.

Sousuke sat down with his food, wolfing it down while he stared at a paper. “Homework?”

“A project that’s coming up. We need to submit an outline of what we plan to do soon,” Sousuke said, humming. “But enough of that. What’s on your mind?”

“Huh?” Rin looked back at him, sitting down. “What do you mean?”

“You seem like you’ve got something you want to say,” Sousuke said with a shrug, smiling at him. “It’s not often you laze around in bed with me.”

Rin bristled, face flushing before rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I just. I don’t know, do you feel any different?”

“After yesterday?” Sousuke asked, looking a little more thoughtful as he came up with his answer. “It’s not like the world has changed or something dramatic I just feel,” he hummed, trying to find the words. He put his hand across the table and Rin grabbed it, lacing their fingers. Sousuke looked down and smiled. “I feel happy, like I’m in a dream or something. It’s hard to explain, I just feel like even when I think I couldn’t love you anymore than I already do, you find a way to make me love you more.”

Rin bit his lip, grinning at nothing as he let those words run through him. He chuckled, light and breathless. “You really are a romantic.”

“Only because you like it,” Sousuke replied, teeth showing as he laughed. He rubbed his shoulder and looked up at the clock. “I have to go but I’ll be back before you know it. Do me a favor and try not to think to hard on everything until I get back?”

“What do you mean by that?” Rin grumbled, retracting his hand and crossing his arms. Sousuke laughed, leaning over the table and placing a kiss square on his lips.

“Just that you like to think yourself into a hole. We can talk more about it when I get back, I just don’t want you thinking anything crazy while I’m gone,” Sousuke said, smile dropping for a second before he looked into Rin’s eyes. “I know I’m not the best with words but,” he continued, taking Rin’s hand again and placing it against his chest. Rin felt his heart beating there and looked back at Sousuke, who was smiling again. “I just want you to remember that I love you, Rin.”

“I love you too, Sousuke,” Rin whispered, eyes wide and equally surprised by the moment as he was by the kiss he received before Sousuke stood up.

“I know you’re confused. Honestly, I’m feeling a little anxious myself leaving you right now,” Sousuke admitted, staring at him. “Do you want me to stay?”

“No, no, you should go. You shouldn't skip a class for no reason,” Rin said. Sousuke looked like he had something to say but he just sighed.

“Try not to jump to any crazy conclusions while I'm out.”

“I don't,” Rin started, voice catching in his throat when he Sousuke’s eyes on him. Rin followed him on autopilot as he got his things together. When they reached the threshold Rin kissed Sousuke, holding his face in his hands for a second, eyes fluttering closed before letting him go. Smiles left on them both before he was gone.

Instead of going out for his run as soon as he left, Rin grabbed a modest breakfast and curled up on the couch, a hand clutching at his heart. Repeating Sousuke’s words of love like a mantra, praying to any god that would listen to return Sousuke back home to him soon. To settle the anxieties growing in his chest.

Getting up and heading to the bedroom, Rin wrapped himself up in their blankets and closed his tired eyes.

He heard a noise, looking to see Sousuke standing there, a melancholy to his smile as he sighed and got on the bed, pulling the cocoon Rin had made into his arms and kissing his forehead. “You’re not supposed to be back yet,” Rin said, sniffling as he dug his head into his chest.

“Being here is more important,” he said, squeezing him tight.

[meloncitrus]

Free! Fic - First (Ch.34)

Title: First Fandom: Free! Pairings: Sousuke/Rin Rating: M Warnings: Angst, Insecurities, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Issues w/ Gender Roles, Issues w/ Sex, Eventual Sex Chapter Word Count: ~3.1k

Summary:

It doesn’t matter to Sousuke what emotional hangups Rin has, he still loves him. They still bother Rin, but he tries to find the courage to get past them, because he still loves Sousuke.

A fic about emotional healing and sex.

ao3

chapters 1-30 / ch.31 / ch.32 / ch.33 / ch.34 / ch.35 / ch.36 / Epilogue

Chapter 34

To say Rin was distracted was an understatement. It got to the point that Haru and Makoto had been the ones to decide that they should meet up again tomorrow instead, and Rin was maybe just a little too eager to make his way back to Sousuke’s apartment. He picked up things for dinner, and a few things from the pharmacy to prepare for their night. He even went so far as to get more body wash because he had a feeling the bottle back at the apartment was not going to last with how many showers they were going to be taking. Rin had already taken two that day, and nearly used up Sousuke’s delicious smelling body wash cleaning himself up after their intense morning.

He wondered how Sousuke was handling it, stuck at school until dinner time. When Rin got back to the apartment he put everything away and got set on making them a simple dinner. He wasn’t nearly as talented as Sousuke, but he knew how to make enough food to keep him fit for swimming. He didn’t want to make Sousuke make dinner, not when that’d waste precious time and Rin was already trying to fight down the hot sensation in his stomach whenever he thought about their plans for the night.

When Sousuke had left that afternoon, running late due to their activities, Rin knew what it meant for them. The look in his eyes, the hesitation in them both as they said their goodbyes at the front door. Tonight was going to be the night, Rin was sure of it. It wasn’t at all how he was expecting it to go down, but he had been practicing patience during his time in Australia. Patience with himself, allowing things to not go as planned. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten and back again, something he developed to calm his nerves, he looked at the clock.

Sousuke would come home, they’d eat, they’d both shower, and then they’d spend the rest of the night making a mess of the sheets Rin had just washed for them. Glad he bought an extra set of bedding just thinking about it, Rin looked at the clock again, leg shaking as he finished setting up the tiny kitchen table with their modest dinner. Nothing but meat and vegetables, but exactly what he needed. Sousuke’s cooking was spoiling him and he needed to remember that not long from then he’d have to get back to training.

That, Rin admitted to himself, might have been one of the bigger reasons Rin wanted to have sex with Sousuke that night. They had precious little time before their schedules would get busy again, and soon after he’d be whisked away back to Australia and they’d have to be apart again for many more months until their next meeting. Still, he didn’t want Sousuke to feel like he was pressuring himself into it, he knew he was as ready as he was going to be for their first time. First times where messy, not a single first they had together hadn’t been, but he wanted it so bad. He craved it, needed it, in a way that wasn’t present before. Not a desperate need to reassure himself they’re connected, just an instinctual desire to join as one, as embarrassing and romantic as that sounded even in his own ears.

Making sure the stove top was turned off, Rin covered all the food, keeping it warm and checking the clock once more. Feeling like his eyes were on a swivel, always searching for the time, he walked to the bedroom and grabbed some clothes, rushing to the bathroom to take a quick shower. If he got his out of the way then, before Sousuke got there, that’d cut down the time even more, and Rin was never one for waiting. He heard the door open just as the warm water finally kicked in.

“Rin?”

“Hey, welcome home,” Rin said, finishing up and grabbing his towel. Sousuke was standing there with a grin. “I made dinner.”

“I saw,” Sousuke said, giving him kiss. “I’m home.”

“Let’s eat before it gets cold and then you can take a shower,” Rin said, keeping his tone light at the end, more of a question than anything. Sousuke agreed and helped dry Rin off. Rough hands taking the towel from Rin and rubbing him down while Rin did a quick session with their new hairdryer. Rin threw on his shirt and underwear before heading off to the kitchen.

“No pants?”

“Not like I’ll need them after dinner,” Rin teased, digging into the pork on his plate. “How was school?”

“Excruciating,” Sousuke groaned, picking up his chopsticks. “I don’t think time has ever moved slower.”

“Me neither,” Rin agreed, hiding his smirk. “You nervous?”

“You?” Sousuke countered, shoving food into his mouth. Rin snickered at the way he stuffed his cheeks.

“A little,” Rin conceded, “more excited though.”

“Me too.”

Rin looked down, picking at the pickled vegetables he had pulled out of the fridge for their meal. He’d have to ask Sousuke what he did to make them taste so good, only sweet enough to leave a slight tangy taste, and they were always crisp, a delicious crunchy texture in your mouth with every bite.

Trying to focus on the meal and talk about their day, Rin avoided anything too obvious as he glanced at Sousuke. Laughing as they told each other the ridiculous things they had seen, from strangers on the streets to Haru’s crazy shenanigans. It was a light-hearted conversation and put Rin at ease. It was familiar, but the tingling in his toes and ears hadn’t stopped once since Sousuke had gotten home.

When they had finished Rin had nearly shoved Sousuke out of the kitchen, telling him to go clean up. All he received for that was loud laughter and a few teases as he went to do as he was told. Rin tried not to let the heat of his cheeks show before returning to the kitchen and clearing their plates, putting away leftovers and cleaning the dishes. He listened to the sound of the toilet flush, and the shower turn on. Once everything was scrubbed clean Rin went to the bedroom.

He felt maybe a little foolish when he found himself folding up the comforter and putting it out of the way so it wouldn’t get dirty, or fluffing the pillows and flattening out the sheets to make sure that there were no creases. He couldn’t really help it, the giddiness and butterflies in his stomach compelling him to do something, anything, to distract himself while he waited for Sousuke.

When he heard the shower turn off he sat up straight, sitting at the edge of the bed with his feet on the ground, back pin straight as Sousuke walked in. No towel was wrapped around his waist, only a towel in his hands rubbing furiously at his hair. He laughed at Rin as he walked in.

“You look relaxed,” he said.

“Shut up,” Rin said, kicking his calf as he passed by, grabbing stuff out from the box that they had left sitting on Sousuke’s dresser since it’s discovery. “So, where do we start?”

“You’re being too stiff about it,” Sousuke said, getting up onto the bed. “But maybe that’s okay. It’s easier to do if it if we’re like this.”

“Like what?” Rin asked, surprised as Sousuke pulled Rin over, causing him to sit on his knees. Sousuke let the tip of his nose touch Rin’s, eyes flitting down to his lips. “Oh—you, you don’t want to lay down?”

“Not just yet,” Sousuke said, lips brushing against Rin’s as he spoke, looking back into his eyes. Rin felt his gut tighten. He dove forward, kissing Sousuke senseless, arms wrapped around his neck, a hand in his damp hair.

He felt Sousuke shift them until they were both up on their knees, one hand pulling Rin’s arm down around his waist, as if he was looking for help balancing. Rin’s eyes snapped open when he heard the cap of the lube pop off. Sousuke’s hands left him, leaning into him for support, kissing his neck and Rin looked down at the slide of Sousuke’s back. The rolling and tensing muscles in front of him leaving his throat dry.

Just when he thought it couldn’t get hotter, Sousuke reached back behind himself and began to finger himself open. “Sousuke,” Rin stuttered, almost losing balance just watching. “W—what should I do?”

“Try not to fall over,” Sousuke chuckled in his ear, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Do whatever you want, it’s just going to take me a minute.”

“Is it really easier on your knees like this?” Rin swallowed, eyes caught somewhere between watching the muscles on Sousuke’s back contort and the disappearing hand in view.

“Easier than on my back, and less embarrassing than sticking my ass up in the air for you to see,” he joked, voice a little tight. Rin tried to laugh, but all he could do was stare with his hands uselessly resting at Sousuke’s sides. “You’ve gone awfully quiet.”

“It’s not like I talk a lot,” Rin grumbled, tearing his eyes away long enough to get a sight of fire red ears. “I might be a little nervous,” he whispered, digging his face into Sousuke’s shoulder.

“Me too,” Sousuke said. “Do you want to stop?”

“No.”

He held Sousuke steady as he pulled away, shocked when hot lips and a sneaky tongue attached themselves to his mouth. Groaning, letting Sousuke distract him from what was happening, a wet and sloppy lick to his bottom lip drawing his attention. With Sousuke kissing him like that he felt a tension leave his shoulders, one he hadn’t realized was there.

Things went easier after that, kissing, touching. Sousuke even let Rin’s hand venture down to help loosen him and Rin wasn’t sure how he hadn’t passed out feeling the inside of Sousuke for the first time since high school. A million questions running through his head, half of them questioning whether or not it was always that hot inside. It wasn’t until Sousuke was pulling away from Rin and scooting back on the bed that Rin’s brain stopped. Following blindly until they were lying down together, touching each other no different than they had the night before.

It went slower then, time stopping while they embraced each other, pulling each other as close as possible until Sousuke’s body was crushing him. “Sousuke?” Rin moaned, a question in the air as he rolled his hips against him before sitting back up off him. A condom was put in his hand and Rin froze, staring at Sousuke.

That reaction wasn’t the right one, it seemed, as Sousuke visibly wilted, an excuse on his lips before Rin grabbed his hand, holding him there. “Rin,” Sousuke warned, a wary look in his eyes.

“It’s fine, I just—was surprised for a second,” Rin said, trying to find a good excuse before he opened the little foil packet and rolled the condom on. “Where’d you put the lube?”

“I’ll take care of that,” Sousuke said, grabbing the bottle and applying a healthy amount to his hand before coating Rin. Almost too much, in his opinion, it was so sloppy and getting everywhere, but he didn’t question it. He poured another obscene amount in his hand, getting up onto his knees to reach back to his ass. Rin had no words when suddenly Sousuke was shuffling up Rin’s body, knees around his stomach as he tried to line themselves up.

The first few tries were failures, sliding across instead of staying put. Sousuke’s face and chest were flushed, embarrassment in his eyes until Rin was holding himself as steady as he could and they worked together. The slips against his asshole had been already too much, but then they caught the right angle, and Rin held his breath for what felt like hours. Rin watched Sousuke’s face scrunched up in concentration, but as soon as Rin’s tip entered the tight ring of muscle his eyes shut tight, and it was if the world around him disappeared, nothing left but unbearable heat and pressure. He tightened his gut, shaking slightly as Sousuke slowly inched himself down Rin’s shaft.

It was so much tighter than he had imagined, the heat inside so intense it felt like he shouldn’t be there. It was too much, too intimate, and it was driving the breath out of him. Body shaking, breathing coming in staggered uneven breaths, he shifted when he felt Sousuke finish seating himself fully.

“Fuck,” Sousuke cursed, Rin’s eyes snapping open though he willed himself to stay still. “Don’t—don’t move, Rin.”

“I won’t, I’m sorry,” Rin breathed, flinching when Sousuke’s quaking legs made him pull back up to get a better balance. “Sou—I’m not going to last long—there’s no way.”

“Good, good, don’t,” Sousuke said, a slight plead in his voice that made Rin’s heart ache. He looked up at him, grabbing his hands. “I’m okay, don’t look at me like that.”

Sousuke shifted again, legs slipping and Rin moaned loud and unhindered. “It’s just. You’re so—I can feel you inside me,” he whispered, like it was too crazy to understand. “It’s so hot. It’s not like when I use those—it’s too much.”

“Do you want to stop?” Rin asked, face scrunched up tight as he tried to hold back the desperate need to thrust into that heat. “Sousuke, Sousuke maybe we should stop. I don’t know about this—,” he choked, water welling in his eyes.

“No,” Sousuke said, shaking his head and Rin almost screamed when he sat back down, and this time Sousuke was the one moaning. “It’s fine,” he groaned. “Rin, try not to move, please.”

Rin tried to groan out an affirmative, voice lost as Sousuke started to rock their bodies, so slow, so painfully slow but Rin was ready to blow just feeling it. Realizing he wasn’t doing anything to help, Rin grabbed hold of Sousuke’s cock, hot and leaking in his hand. A mistake, it seemed, as Sousuke clenched down on him and moaned, grabbing hold of his hand to stop him.

“I told you not to move!”

“I want you to feel good,” Rin choked, Sousuke’s yelling shaking their bodies. Before anything else could happen, Rin looked and saw tears rolling down Sousuke’s cheeks and his heart stopped. “Sousuke?”

“What?” Sousuke asked, seeming to not notice the trails of water making their way down his cheeks. “S—something wrong?” he groaned, rocking with a little more force.

“You,” Rin moaned, “you’re crying! Stop moving! Are you okay?”

“’M fine,” Sousuke said, grabbing ahold of Rin’s hand and lacing their hands. “Just overwhelming,” he said, a light smile on his lips. Rin nodded, tears pouring out of his own eyes. It was overwhelming to the point it was terrifying. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. Sousuke closed his eyes and tipped his head back then. “Rin, if you, you want to move a little it’s fine.”

Unsure but unable to deny how much he wanted to move, Rin picked his legs up a little so he could get leverage on the bed. Sousuke moaned and started to fall forward, hands on the bed as they both cried out, Rin now thrusting up into him. It wasn’t much, Sousuke nearly fully seated on Rin’s cock, but it sent waves of pleasure running up his spine and he kept it up, picking up the pace just a little when Sousuke leaned down to kiss him, and just like that he came. Sousuke getting himself off a few moments later, cumming across Rin’s stomach before trying to pull himself off. Rin whimpered when Sousuke pulled out, overstimulated and shaking. Sousuke’s legs were quivering as he moved over on the bed and flopped down, exhausted. Rin turned to him, brushing away his sweaty bangs and kissing him in a way he hoped to convey his love.

“Wasn’t scary,” Sousuke teased, eyes slipping closed as Rin got up to cuddle and kiss the love of his life.

“You cried,” Rin reminded him, scratching his back as Sousuke moved to lie on his stomach. He wiped at his own eyes, ignoring that he too was crying.

“I can’t even begin to explain to you why,” Sousuke mumbled into his pillow. “You should go take your shower.”

“I'm okay,” Rin insisted, continuing his gentle ministrations. He tried to discreetly wipe his hands off on the sheets a few times, but knew Sousuke had noticed. “I want to be here with you.”

“You can be here with me once you feel better,” Sousuke said, turning his head to look at him, a smile on his face. “Go shower, I'll change the sheets and get washed and then we can cuddle.”

“But that's making you do so much,” Rin said.

“No more than usual.”

“But usually we don't,” Rin sputtered, face red, shaking a hand at him, “do this! I want you to feel good too. It's okay if I'm a little uncomfortable.”

“That is not okay,” Sousuke said, though his normal irritation wasn't present. He smiled at Rin and let his eyes close. “If you really want to do something for me, go shower so you feel better.”

“I can do more than that.”

Sousuke opened one eye and sighed. “If you want to do more than that then let me lay here awhile before I change the sheets and get showered. Is that okay?”

“Sure, I can do that,” Rin said, nodding his head. “However long you need.” A complicated mix of happiness he could cause Sousuke some comfort and the disappointment of not being able to do more filled his heart. He sat up, not being able to take the feeling of his skin crawling any longer.

“Take your time in the shower,” Sousuke said, “I could lay here forever.”

“You'll get sick if you do that,” Rin chuckled. He leaned down to kiss Sousuke’s cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”

Without saying another word on it two of Sousuke’s fingers curled around the hand he was using to hold himself up. “Rin, I love you.”

Rin’s heart fluttered, the love laced in his name alone was enough to start waterfalls to form on already damp cheeks.