Mending Minds

[youare--neveralone-blog]

I just want those people who are feeling that desperate to know that they aren’t alone, there is always a place to go when they are having those feelings of desperation. There are hotlines you can call, websites you can visit, chatrooms you can join, people in your life you can go to….the list…

[mending-minds-blog]

Okay so I've never asked a blog for help before but to hell with it. I really want to kill myself right now. I'm only 15 but I feel so fucked up. I see and hear people who I'm told aren't there but I feel noone (including my family) believes me. Two of my best friends are depressed and I feel like shit because I can't help them. I'm ugly, useless, I feel like noone wants me around and I just know I'm going to fail all my exams. I've been diagnosed with depression but the meds aren't helping anym

Schizophrenia could be something you might wanna look at if you're seeing things people are saying isn't there. It's not that bad because I know some people who have it and function just like everyone else. Why do you feel ugly? Is it because no one has ever called you that or someone has tried calling you ugly? Ignore all that bullshit. Everyone, and I mean every single fucking person on this damn planet, has something special and beautiful about them honey. Sorry for cussing but I wanted to make a point. I bet you'll be fine so don't even worry. I hope we can talk soon so please don't be afraid to message me darling. This has been your friendly neighborhood psychologist Zak. :D

[mending-minds-blog]

Hey, I'm 18, and have been on and off self harming for 4 years. I have turbulent emotions and my self esteem is non existent and I find impossible to hold relationships/ don't have many friends. I attempted suicide last Christmas, and have came close to planning again recently, I told someone, and they said they didn't care. I would like a phsychiatric assessment but I'm not sure where my first point of call is. Help?

Wow. It's been forever since I answered anything. I feel like an ass but I've been busy with my life. I've kinda been trying to get everything situated in my world. There are many different suicide hotlines out there but you have to make the first step in making that phone call. So what if one loser didn't see how important you are to the world? They obviously don't see the beautiful young woman, or handsome you man, you are. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It Gets Better is not JUST for gay people honey, it's for everyone whose ever considered taking their lives, it's just directed towards the LGBT community. I hope to get a message from you soon that's not anonymous so that you and I can talk. :)

[mending-minds-blog]

Zak, I've just read what you posted on here. Can we help you in any sort of way? I want to listen to your problems too as much as you listen to ours. Were here if you need us<3

I recently had a relapse where I cut on my legs again. I only did it about twenty times but I broke down after having my relapse. Only about four people know and I hate that I had my relapse. It was because of a guy as stupid and immature as that sounds and I know it is but I was upset and couldn't control my urges. The cuts are becoming scars and it turns out that guy was an even worse jerk than I thought but that doesn't matter. I'm just trying to move on with my life and help everyone out as much as possible. I like ignoring my own issues because I think everyone else is ten times more important to be completely honest with you. I hope you have a serendipitous day and please don't worry about me. This has been another friendly response from your Tumblr psychologist Zak. 

[mending-minds-blog]

Hey Everyone

I've been a bit busy with my coursework and dealing with my own self-loathing and self-infliction issues a bit but I promise that as soon as I can bear it you guys will be helped. I will put my problems on hold for all of you beautiful people because you all deserve happiness and affection when no one else shows it to you. That being said, I'm kinda running this blog on my own, while my partner gets situated. I will tell you about a friend of mine that relapsed recently and then about my relapse as well. I will help you all after school I promise. Have a very serendipitous day. <3

-Zak (or Zakki)

[mending-minds-blog]

Anonymous asked "Hello love, I was the anon that had an argument with my friend. Of course I've considered that she might be depressed/upset but I know she isn't because she's been through things like this before and was fine with it, she's attention seeking and Im sure of it cause I know her like the back of my hand. Since I've posted that ask she's been talking to people in my school asking if everyone there has been talking about her when no one even knows her, and she's been telling people about the argument she's the 'sweet and innocent' type, people will start to think in the bad bitch. I've even found out that she's still talking to that guy and there was a part where he said 'fuck her then' [towards me] when her heard about the argument, and she said 'ahaha yeah as long as you're my friend(:' so much for valuing our friendship."

Hey there anonymous girl. Hehe. Honestly though honey, this person doesn't sound like a good friend for you, so you should move on from this person. In your previous message you said you have a lot going on in your life right now. Stuff is going on at the home and you don't know how to deal with that? My best advice for that is a journal and music. Venting to us or venting on your own is the best medicine sometimes. We're definitely a good medicine for you though because we care and we give you our most honest thoughts while a silly journal just sits there and eats your words. This person sounds like someone you should distance yourself from because it's obvious she doesn't have devotion to the friendship or anything of that sort. I hope you're doing alright honey and maybe this helped you make a decision on who your friends should be in your life. Which, they should always be people you can trust, and that you could turn to in dire situations. This person just sounds like someone that would turn any conversation about you into one about her. Have a serendipitous day my dear. This has been another message from your friendly mending-minds psychologist Zak or Zakki if you wish. 

[mending-minds-blog]

Okay so I park next to a guy I think is cute and have a class with. We kinda know each other but I want to be like, friends with him. So my friend was like oh write you're cute on a piece of paper and put it under his windshield wiper but don't say it was you or anything just use it as a way to talk after school... Is that an awful idea? Hahah

Our blog isn't really about this kind of advice but I guess since we said we would give advice on anything this counts too. I don't see how that could start a conversation unless he was asking around to see who wrote it. It would also be awkward if he caught you doing that then you have to stand there blushing like a fool. Honestly? I go with the more direct approach by saying hey every day or every couple of days. After a while try and spark up random conversations about stuff you two may have in common. Never guess those things you may have in common though because if you guess that's so awkward. Trust me, I know. Hope I helped you out but never really intended to help people land guys... -Zak(:

[mending-minds-blog]

Anonymous asked "This question may be a bit different from other peoples but I figured here was a good place to ask it. The other night I was scrolling through tumblr tags and I found a post from a really depressed looking girl and the post saddened me so much I felt the need to go to her tumblr and answer her post. She answered me and thanked me, telling me I really helped her out and so I got really caught up in this and started finding blog after blog of these people and trying to help them out (if any of them are reading this I was being very honest with you I promise) after doing this I realized how many people there are in this world who are so so depressed and ive kind of made it my job to go help these people but it's really upsetting ME and I can't take the thought of all these amazing individuals who hate themselves, they keep me up all night thinking of them. I don't know what to do because I would feel terrible if i just quit on them but on the other hand it's really affecting my life. You dont have to answer that, I just really needed to get that out there, sorry :/"

Oh wow, so yet another long question, I love getting these. Granted I do hope people start asking their long questions through the submit page. Either way is fine but if they submitted their questions they could keep going without stopping. I think it's great that you're helping all these people and it should effect on such an emotional scale. Don't let it overwhelm you so much that you yourself become depressed but help these people to the best of your ability. That's what my partner and I are trying to do and we love what we do. We cover any topic any time no matter what. All we want to do is help people live their lives until their time is supposed to come without the aid of a blade. I wanted to answer this to show that there are people all around who are willing to help people in need and not just me and my partner. This has been a friendly message from your Mending Minds team member Zak or you can call me Zakki. It's up to you lovely people but I really hope I helped you out granted you're the one giving help to other people. 

[mending-minds-blog]

Anonymous asked "Me and someone who used to be my bestfriend had a HUGE argument a couple of days ago and it continued last night. She was talking to this kid who drove me to the brink of suicide and made me cut and starve myself. I know its not my place to say who she should be hanging out with/ talking to but this is the only time I speak up about it. It sickens me to know that she went behind my back and done that, and she didnt have the decency to tell me. She's been complaining about how she doesn't get guy's to like her when shes talking to about 5 different guys on facebook sending them hearts and kisses so she's bullshitting. She's also been complaining about how people are spreading rumours when all they're 'spreading' is her apparent crush on someone which is so childish. She's making out that she's all depressed and the other day she tried cutting herself and was scratching at the marks she made. She showed me them and I was so angry. While she was telling me all this bullshit I was sorting out other peoples problems too and shit's going on at home on top of that. She's just been so selfish, bringing up depression, suicide, cutting and starving. She's drove me straight back all of it and it's disappointed my other bestfriend and myself. I had my first suicidal thought the other day after 8 months and it scared the shit out of me. It angers me so much that she's done this and pushed me so far as to start cutting again."

Wow. Just, wow. This is the longest anonymous message we have probably ever received to be completely honest. The reason I'm answering it in a quote is because I wanted it to be altogether when it posted instead of three separate posts. Something I've been trying to tell people is that this is high school, and shit happens that just piss you off or make you wanna cry your eyes out, but in a few years none of it will matter anymore. But, to be completely honest if I may and since I run this blog with my best friend, I can kinda say my opinions and get away with it. Ha. Did you ever stop and think that maybe your friend is just depressed or upset as you are with her life? I mean even head cheerleaders can have depression while no one notices it. But on the hand of the argument, she could be blind to what she's doing, and what she is putting you through. Some people are so blind to the things they put their friends through and it's awful. I mean some of my old friends made me so depressed for insulting my sexuality with their religion that I was driven to a suicide attempt in eighth grade and some people still remember me for that and it sucks. Some people are just really blind to what we go through but sometimes that's because we cover it up with smiling faces and laughing when all we want to do is break and cry. I really hope you persevere and survive from the temptation of cutting because you're already a survivor every single day because of what you've gone through. So regardless of what anyone says I am proud of you and I'm glad you're alive so keep fighting on honey. This has been yet another friendly message from your Mending Minds team member Zak and I really hope I helped you. 

[mending-minds-blog]

I don't know why I feel so sad all of a sudden. I just have like, 0 self esteem. I tried to look nice today and only one person complimented me. Alllllll day, and that just heaped all these feelings on top of the others.I don't know why I feel like this at all.. I want to feel beautiful again.

I totally understand how you feel. Honestly, from experience I can just tell you that you need to work toward what makes YOU feel beautiful and if you think you look beautiful, then fuck anyone who says different. You're probably really beautiful and it's not someone's compliments that make you have self-esteem; it's about really being happy with yourself and trying your best to compliment yourself each day and tell yourself "Yes, I AM beautiful. Yes I CAN be happy! I deserve it.". And I know you can do it, I've been doing it every day and I feel much better than I did. Stay strong, lovely. We love you here at mending minds and I am sure you have family and friends that love you too.Much love,Maddyxx

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Touching Base on Self-Harm

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I've come to this blog numerous times asking for adivce, most of these questions are by the same person; me. Thank you so damn much for putting a lot of time and effort into my problems, I feel a little bad for taking up so much of it. I ask my friends for advice but honestly strangers like you have helped me more. I love you both so much for this, I really can't thank you enough. You both help me stay strong, thankyou.<3

Aww, thank you so much darling! Don't ever be afraid to come to us with your problems. We will always answer your questions and give you advice in whatever you need. Between the two of us we can cover almost anything. Whatever I don't know how to help with I try to talk to my partner and either give her the question or just get tips and blend our thoughts together. So feel free to come to us and tell your followers of our blog. Thank you and have a serendipitous day. - Zak

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HELP! my friend is developing bulimia and i just have no idea what to do, she doesn't do it after every meal but she does it after a few, and only when shes alone so i don't know how i can stop her, i used to self harm myself, and i found that bulimia is a type of self harm, and also my mum used to have bulimia when she was my age, so i have such a strong opinion about it, i just want her to realize she doesnt need to do it...

This could be an insecurity that she has so you may not be able to help that much. She may feel the desperate necessity to be thin or what she sees as beautiful. This is both an insecurity and confidence thing. You could try to your friend that she's beautiful everyday but you could also get other people to do it too. Be forewarned, that may not actually help, and that may make it worse. She may think, "Oh hey, I look better doing this, I need to keep doing it", and that just varies from person to person. Honestly it's not surprising to receive advice on this because if I'm not mistaken two out of five girls are bulimic these days and it's spreading fast. The thought of beauty and size has changed so much. In my honest opinion when you're not skin and bones it makes you look healthy and that's exactly what the people thought back when ads said stuff about gaining "curves" because that's what was beautiful. Guys have just come to the point where that's what they want but some are different. If your friend is already thin she may do it because she feels "fat" or "disgusting" after eating because I suffered through bulimia at one point in my life and I still feel that way years later. I'm also the male partner of this blog so this disease or disorder, whichever you prefer to call it honestly, doesn't just affect the female population. So you may have to sit down and talk to her about how you feel and make a stand with your beliefs because your words could save a life but you have to have the guts to say them. This has been another attempt at helping you with your issues from your friendly neighborhood "psychologist" Zak of the Mending Minds team. :)

[mending-minds-blog]

My mom is going away for nearly a month to go visit her mom. I'm stuck at home with my dad and brother, its going to be a living hell. Today is my mom's last night with us and my dad jokingly said "When you're gone I'm gonna beat her with a stick". Funny thing is, he's already beaten me with his hand's, so why the fuck would you joke about something so sick like that? I'm scared. Scared for my own life, in my own home. I don't want to be here. I want to run away.

Oh gosh. I would advise you to tell someone, anyone. Find a way to be out of the house as much as possible. I know that's tough and I know sometimes you feel like there's not a damn thing you could do but there is. Abuse is not okay and some people just don't know that. Some people, like your dad, are sick. Sick enough to say and do things like that. So, I personally think you should tell anyone that you can and ask to stay with them as much as possible to get away from him. Abuse is definitely not okay and I believe you shouldn't stand for that. Don't be afraid, be strong. Find a way to get out, but don't just run away. Think it through honey. I hope I helped you.. Also, feel free to go to safehorizon.org or thehotline.org. I have gone to websites like this for help and it helped, it truly did.

Stay Strong.

<3 Maddy.

[mending-minds-blog]

Hello love, my problem is him. My boyfriend. We've only been together a couple if days but we were talking for a few weeks before that getting to know each other. Honestly we seem like a perfect couple but we hardly have anything in common. He's one of those typical popular people, I have the potential to be popular but I'd rather be normal and weird. I wanna break up with him but we've only been together for a couple of days so I don't know how to break it to him :/

So, I take it you want advice on how to break it to him? If so, I personally think you should honestly just tell him the truth that you just want to break up and you feel like you guys are honestly too different. If it's the other option, where you don't know how to make it work, think of the phrase "opposites attract". Honestly, I dated a guy completely opposite of me but that was only on the outside. We found out that we both care for the same things and all it mattered was that we cared for each other just alike, not that we didn't approve of the same "favorite food" or "favorite sport" or something little. Just, realise what you are really doing or getting rid of before actually doing so. 

-Hope this helped, and remember, we are here to help!

<3 Maddy :)

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Hi, I just wanted to say thank you. You guy's advice has made a wold of difference. <3

Aw you're more than welcome but honestly it's our pleasure.

:)

[mending-minds-blog]

sending love <3 xoxoxoxox

<3