you know, with hindsight now what it is I really do think a more literal reading of c!techno's chat would have helped his characterization a Lot
and mind you, this was originally intended to be the case, and very well may have been intended all along even if it wasn't usually emphasized within the lore
and don't get me wrong, I Get why it fell out of favor within the fandom. it coincides with a Very storied ableist trope that demonizes DID and disorders adjacent to it, and Can be spoken about in a way that is essentially indistinguishable from it depending on the word choice.
but the thing is ! not only does it not Have to be an allegory for DID, I straight up don't think it is At All.
because we Know what it's an allegory for. It's His Chat. there's technoblade playing the game, and there's the thousands of people watching with expectations and wants that he's compelled to meet (or, at the very least, pacify through Entertainment).
and this makes much Much more sense when conceived of as Supernatural. be that spirits, gods, demons, or anything that could fill that role. separate entities that, for whatever reason, only techno can sense the presence of and be affected by.
and of course, to an extent this is true for all creators. everyone had an audience that they were meant to entertain and the choices they made were influenced by that fact.
but technoblade came in with a Very distinct set of expectations that heavily impacted the choices he was Expected to make and the kinds of stories that he could tell. he was more or less a living legend in real life just as much as he was in roleplay, and these things were inherently connected.
and it's like !
when c!technoblade says he was peer pressured into killing tubbo at the red festival he Is technically talking about what happened within the roleplay. schlatt was demanding it from him, there's a sort of pressure there. but schlatt was also the dictator they were set to kill, and techno has never had any trouble fighting people he considered a dictator before, and certainly not Schlatt of all people.
but he WAS being peer pressured By His Audience. by thousands of people, most of which were demanding blood Because It Was The Expectation, because it'd be Fun.
out of universe technoblade made the decision he thought would be the most Entertaining, and he was right! consistently he made choices that would let him do the most bombastic Spectacles possible. And It's Great. he's Excellent at pulling dramatics and making a compelling scene that give other people room to work off of. in that sense I'd consider techno an Excellent actor, and I have to imagine that he was fun to work with.
the problem is when you then have to justify it from an in character perspective, grounded in those mushy things like Feelings with characters that can be traumatized and sustain lasting damage, Especially Without acknowledging the out of character incentive.
mind you, it's not Impossible to Create a backstory that could justify it. why a character as consistently powerful and feared as technoblade would feel pressured to kill an ally by someone he not only Can kill but Wanted To Kill. why a character as seemingly secure and in control as technoblade would lash out the way that he does to perceived betrayal, and yet consistently puts no weight onto having killed and permanently scarred an ally that trusted him.
what that'd need is tragedy. a storied history of being hurt and having to survive. building up To an untouchable god from a much much more vulnerable position. Long Lasting trauma that's lead to this deep insecurity and paranoia. and that's Possible and that's Compelling.
but it's just not in the text.
not only did we never learn basically Anything that c!technoblade was up to pre-series, we actually know Less by the end than when we started because of the sbi retconning.
it's a Theoretically Possible interpretation that's technically never Contradicted by canon, but would have to be created by scratch. it's a compelling idea for a fan fic (and one I'd like to read) and it's compelling for a theoretical recontextualization of the character, but it's just not In The Text.
meanwhile, we have the video above.
we have the Objective Fact that technoblade's decision making was often subject to the rule of cool (very Very effectively) to entertain his audience.
and most compellingly, these concepts Don't Need To Be Separate. in fact, in my opinion they're Stronger when you put them together.
because the thing is. it's Difficult to imagine techno as ever being in a vulnerable position. he is just Objectively more powerful than everyone else on the server, both in real life And within the lore. How could he have ever been afraid when he was stronger than anyone and everyone combined? when we saw with our own eyes that techno could face nearly the whole server at once and win.
but he Is a tragic character, at least he's meant to be. and that tragedy makes much Much more sense as something Inward.
technoblade as a character who Needs connection, who Needs stability, who Needs security, who Needs friendship and community and Love. but Lashes Out, Obliterates to the core of the earth, because of something that's not only out of his control but that other people Cannot Understand.
how do you explain to a child that you killed their best friend because a chorus of the undead called for his blood and you (in all the glory that he'd idolized) were unable to do anything but comply? how do you explain to that child that you beat him senseless in a pit as the restless dead jeered and laughed?
That's interesting. That's Compelling.
technoblade is idolized like a god, feared like a force of nature, and in an instant cut himself off from nearly everyone who'd considered him an ally. and that seems to be a pattern, over and over and over again. he's left isolated, and in return he faces retaliation, and in return he's always Waiting for retaliation.
and what do you say to someone who wants to kill you for being a monster? that it's Fine Actually because you only did what you did because you have a curse that compels you to? that the supernatural guided you to destroy their homes and kill their people? (rip jack manifold you will be missed)?
That Doesn't Quite Help Your Case.
technoblade as someone who is beholden to this literal cycle of violence and Loses those things that could ground him, community, stability, People, as a result. who Tries to overcome this very fact (to become a better person, in his own words as per the clip above), but is pulled back into it as a consequence of his own actions.
that's a tragedy !! that Makes Sense. that allows him to be Both this force of nature that other characters have to survive And A Person Who Is Hurt By The Same Conflict.
"I'm a person!" that fear of dehumanization makes So So Much More Sense when you see technoblade as someone who Already fears himself. who fears being a monster, who fears losing control, who has faced isolation again and again and again.
and, importantly, it doesn't have to be anyone else's Fault.
by making the source both Internal and Completely External (something that none of the other characters have any awareness or control over), you can Have techno as a tragic character without demonizing anyone else Or erasing the impact that c!techno had on them.
and in that sense, it Can be an allegory for mental illness, but not in that direct "oooooh how scary he hears voices" kind of way that people fear it looks. but in that sometimes people Will do things that can hurt others while not feeling in control. anger and mania and paranoia, things that you can't always Control and yet that impact that you have on other people still Matters.
and the answer to that is, often, vulnerability and accountability.
I think a lot about technoblade isolating himself so near entirely from the rest of the server, and slowly gathering a support system Back by the end. and I Really Do think that framing of it through this lens is a Very impactful way of breaking it down.
tubbo, tommy, wilbur, ranboo, niki, I think they'd All understand not feeling in control. lashing out, maybe even feeling justified in the moment, but hurting people they care about and furthering their own isolation.
There's Something There, and it's already In The Text. it just needs to be expanded on.
and why not do that ourselves now?
no because it's actually a tragedy that the scene in that video got largely overlooked for so long.
it's so telling that he didn't tell phil about the voices Until the cottage in the tundra. because that is literally the person that he trusts The Most in the entire world, that he Has trusted for years and years Before canon.
and phil already Suspected that something was up, he knew him well enough by that point. but technoblade hadn't Been Able to tell him until then.
it's no wonder that he never told anyone in pogtopia. there's so much fear and vulnerability that can be read into that
the clip that I linked to originally isn't up anymore, and so far I haven't been able to find another one that isolated that moment by itself. So ! have the animatic that came from my playlist instead
This is something that I really with the community would look at more in depth because it’s important. It’s something that I as a person with auditory hallucinations feel should really be looked at because he’s a character that I can connect with. My hallucinations don’t say the same things, but the fear of not being seen as human that fear of everybody calling you insane. Of them, not believing you of them hurting you because they can’t understand because they look at you and they see someone is insane. It’s real and it’s powerful and it’s something people don’t think about because of the negative stigmas that have been attributed to us by pop culture.
I don’t know if I would be considered a C!Techno apologist for this but I look at his actions and go those where wrong but I get it. Maybe it’s just because I’ve always had an understanding with him in some way, because I’ve always thought of them as voices, auditory hallucinations like the ones I have. And that connection allowed me to put myself in his place. I by no means believe that what his character was ok, but I understand it. I know what it’s like to go through the hell of being unmedicated with hallucinations. Having to deal with them, screaming at you constantly, telling you to do things you never wanted to do. With that first hand experience and the knowledge that the world of that story likely doesn’t have the medication’s that would be needed to treat these things I can’t help with think, no I would’ve done that too. I would hate myself for it, but I would’ve done that too and I think that you can see that interpretation in the way he acts I think that like you said he’s scared of himself. And that fear is absolutely something that can happen.
Honestly speaking truthfully I know that some people see it as being a harmful stereotype, but I honestly think it’s a really good depiction of what it’s like living with them. Both when you have to deal with them screaming in her head and when you have a support system and have learned to live with them to be able to just say “Fuck off” and leave it at that. To finally reach the point where you can live with them and experience them as a normal part of life that doesn’t need to be answered. That you don’t need to be ostracized or shamed for.
Personably I think that if we had gotten the rest of technos ark we would’ve seen that come to fruition, we already were after all. We saw him stop being a weapon and start building a support system having a home having healthier interactions having calmer voices having people who in some way can empathize with him know what it’s like weather that be Ranboo and their ender walk state/whatever was going on with the quotes popping up or Phil who has his own unhinged and violent but also loving and overprotective chat. 
Reposting this because finally realized just how violently I project on this man.
