Monday, january 7th, 2012
Hi, my name is Katrina, Cat, Kitty, kit-kat, but ill go by Cat on here. So basically, my life has become a bit messy lately, and I promised myself on new years eve i would find a healthy way to vent, so here goes nothing.
I came back to school after break today, and my school is not a place you want to go back to. Imagine a school full of entitled rich kids who think they are better than everyone else. Imagine kids who are stuck up snobs who blow their parent's trust fund money on booze and tiffany jewelry. Imagine a school where it is impossible to be yourself, because you were labeled as a loser the day you came, and there's no way to change anybody's mind on that. Whatever you think my school is like after what I just told you.. I guarantee its worse.
So I have five really good friends at my school, which doesn't sound so bad, until you hear about them. The first, my best friend Olive, is amazing, but hates the school more than I do, which I didn't think was possible, and she has been so focussed on applying to other schools and playing her varsity sports to have any time for me. The second, Tim, is also really sweet, but has insomnia along with a ton of other medical problems meaning I never see him. The third, sally, is also really nice to me, but is always with these bitches who hate me and since they're always together at school that rules her out as well. The last two, Johnny and Jewel, are a bit complicated. Johnny and I have been friends since the begginning of this year, and I've liked him since the day we met. Jewel and I have also been friends all year, but shes a bit complicated. Johnny and Jewel dated for a few months, and only broke up the day before winter break. Jewel moved on right away, hooking up with a bunch of her exes, while Johnny was crushed. I thought this would be the time to make sure I was there for him, because even though I've liked him for so long, our friendship is more important to me. We talked all break but today things were different.
There are really two Johnny's when you think about it. There's the nice Johnny, the one you see when nobody else is around, and then there's the public Johnny, who is still nice, but tries to hard. Today, the nice johnny and I were having a conversation about Jewel, because Johnny and I tell each other everything (except that I like him). When I think hes finally moved on, he looks me in the eyes and says "but the worst part is that im still not over her. I know shes a bitch, but I can't help it." and then my heart shattered.
That's it for now,
Cat