i write for jjk only at the moment! (& possibly hsr)! i mostly write fluff, hurt / comfort, and am working on writing more smut! requests are currently open! i like to write for chubby, neurodivergent, sensitive readers and the like! i refuse to write for any minor characters unless they’re babies bc they’re technically babies (to me) — in the appropriate context! i’m cool with anything except extreme kinks, incest, dead dove stuff, etc! feel free to shoot me an ask if you have any questions, ideas, requests, or concerns!
you’d never gone out on a date before. never experienced any semblance of intimacy or any romance that everyone else already seemed to have mastered. kissing? not on your radar. but you got the bright idea to go on a dating app—matching with suguru geto.
PAIRING: suguru geto x fem! reader
CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ content, MDNI. alternate universe/no curses. slightly awkward and inexperienced reader. cat dad sugu. consent checks. dry humping/grinding. nipple play. cunnilingus. blow job. unprotected p in v. pull out method. cum eating. some aftercare. stupid humor. pet names. a scientology visit.
NOTE: unfortunately this piece will have to be ripped away from my cold, dead hands. but i do apologize for the instability and for posting it once more <3
“you brought cookies.”
you held out the tupperware container filled to the brim with recently baked chocolate chips—the sweet, warm scent wafting through the plastic. "i did, yes. though i wasn't sure if you had any allergies, so don't feel any pressure to eat them or anything. i just thought it'd be rude to come over without bringing anything."
oh great. less than five minutes into this conversation and you were already rambling.
suguru took the container of baked goods from your hands with a wary look, bringing it up to his nose. "you're not a serial killer by any chance, are you?"
you blinked. "if i was, wouldn't it defeat the purpose of telling you now?" not very reassuring.
regardless, he gestured for you to come inside. you stepped inside the apartment and slid your shoes off at the door, taking in the sight of his living room.
the space was bathed in a dark red light accompanied by sonder’s one night only playing in the background and a couple candles flickering from the coffee table—the warm richness of sandalwood permeating through the air.
“you.. uh.. you really planned this out, huh?” why couldn’t you just have said it looked nice and moved on?
now it was just plain awkward.
well, awkward-er.
sure, you knew the concept of sex and how it was supposed to work, but what every hookup guide always forgot to cover was the before. even if you'd talked before this, the two of you were just strangers. what were you supposed to talk about with him?
how were you supposed to skip this part and go to where you were riding him like a pony?
suguru shrugged, padding over to the kitchen to leave the container of cookies on the counter. “did i do too much?”
“it’s just your apartment and all, but the lights seem a little.. excessive.” that was putting it as nicely as possible.
he took the criticism in stride, grabbing a remote from the counter and turning them off before flicking a lamp on, painting the room in a dim orange light. the room was immediately much more warm and welcoming than what’d you first walked into.
you stood at the door, taking a look at the little bits of decoration that you could now see more clearly. a couple figurines, expensive, if you had to guess, a couple books strewn around his coffee table, and a cat tree perched up near the window.
you remembered the small bag in your pocket. digging it out of your pocket, you held it up in between your fingers. “i saw your cat on that one thirst trap,” he didn’t bother protesting—it was a thirst trap, “so i got some treats on the way here. i hope you don’t mind.”
either you were a psychic or you just naturally had a knack for this sort of thing. “they’re her favorite, thanks. take a seat, we don’t bite.”
the previous girls that came over to his apartment usually just gave the cat a little coo or downright ignored her, but you seemed like you wanted to get to know her more than you did him.
suguru wasn't sure if he was amused or if his ego was slightly bruised. (hint: both.)
you took a seat on the black leather couch like you owned the place, patting your lap. “what’s your cat’s name?” you questioned, the cat peering up from her paw at the noise before going back to grooming herself.
“that’s sage.”
you lightly shook the bag of treats, trying to beckon the very uninterested cat with the promise of food and an unconvincing baby voice. your efforts were working. somewhat.
sage lazily trotted her way down from the top of the cat tree before making her way over to you, sitting at your feet. her eyes were calculating, analyzing if you were worth her time. you didn't dare move a muscle when she leaned in to sniff at your socked feet and legs.
just when you were convinced that you'd gotten a big fat F on her evaluation, sage seemed to decide that you were harmless enough. she hopped up on your lap and settled down like the self proclaimed royalty she was, nudging her head against your hand in demand for head pats. you complied.
your fingers ran through the soft black fur while the cat purred like a lawn mower underneath your touch.
"she normally doesn't like strangers," suguru noted, plopping down on the couch cushion next to you.
"do you use that line on everybody that steps foot in here?" well.... yes!
and it usually worked like a charm, thank you very much.
"wait, what, really?" the last girl he'd brought over to his apartment remarked, the very same girl that signed him up for lifelong scientology visits and the army two weeks later after he failed to respond within five minutes, staring at him like he'd hung up the moon and the stars.
"yeah." the cat in question, looked at him with as much disdain as her little body could muster. suguru made a mental promise to reward the cat with catnip and treats for helping him spit out the first bullshit that came to his mind. the girl seemed too happily convinced, going as far as calling herself sage’s step mom.
needless to say, the cat hadn't been all too happy about getting squeezed and cradled around like a baby by a woman she'd never seen before and never saw again after. her displeasure was obvious if the broken flower vases and scratches on his leather furniture were anything to go by.
he'd stopped using that line. or so he thought.
"...no."
you raised a brow, gaze full of suspicion as you stared at him. barely applying any pressure. and just like a rubber band, he ended up snapping within seconds, “…yes, fine, i have. but it’s the first time i’ve meant it.”
you weren't sure if he was full of shit. but the cat seemed to like you decently enough, starting her own biscuit factory on the fabric of your jeans with each ear rub. “how’d you end up getting her?”
suguru looked over to see you and his cat getting along decently well, finding himself a little lost in the scene when your question finally registered and you were staring at him.
“i found her locked up in a cage close to home. her owners called her a devil and all kinds of names, their own negligence, really,” he rolled his eyes, reaching out to pet her chin, “anyways, they were all too happy having someone to hand off the cat to.”
the two of you sat in a comfortable silence after a few questions from one another, getting to know each other a bit better apart from late night conversations. only the sounds of sage’s purring and the outside world filled the apartment.
that was until, "c'mere." suguru lazily spread his legs on the sofa, patting his lap.
“you do realize i’m not your cat right?” as if proving your point, sage got up from her spot on your lap over to his.
“fine, can you please come here?” he gave the cat one last scratch before setting her down on the floor, asking a little nicer. you got up from your spot, standing in between his legs before you lowered yourself onto his lap.
"hi," he murmured once you settled onto his lap, his hands instinctively moving down to your hips.
"hi." you braced your hands on his shoulders to keep your balance, suddenly feeling the reality of the situation crashing down on you. the pretty man underneath you wanted to have sex with you. you were going to have sex tonight.
sex and your first kiss, apparently. (you refused to count the time you'd gotten kissed as a dare in middle school.)
and as if he could read your mind, suguru took a hold of your chin and gently tilted your head up to face him, "can i kiss you?" you didn't miss the way his gaze flickered from your eyes down to your lips every .5 seconds.
you met him halfway, pressing your lips against his own. trying to go with the flow as many people said (what flow? you weren't completely sure yourself).
"close your eyes, i can feel you staring at my soul.” he pulled away, whispering the words against your lips and leaving you chasing behind his.
you let your eyes flutter shut, leaning into the kiss slowly. even going as far as tilting your head a little so you wouldn’t— “ow!” — do exactly what you just did. bump your nose straight into his.
you opened them back up to see suguru was more amused than hurt, a stupid smile on his face as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “try closing them when you’re already leaned in, hm?”
rolling your eyes, you shifted a bit on his lap before giving it one last go. one of your hands came up to cradle his soft cheek, leaning in and shutting your eyes at the last second. he tasted like mint and something else you couldn’t decipher.
his lips molded against your own in a languid kiss, each touch an experiment to know your body better. suguru’s hands moved down your body, each one resting on your ass like he wanted, no needed, you all that much closer. the exchange grew heavier, sloppier, messier.
everything was heightened—you could feel every single little thing. from the slight hitch of his breath when you captured his lip in between your teeth to your own traitorous heart thumping underneath your rib cage.
his lips moved from your own to the corner, down to your jaw, until he finally reached your neck. then that’s where he went ham. sucking, licking, kissing on whatever inch of skin was at his disposal all while taking note which spots had you shivering and squeezing your thighs together.
latching onto the sensitive skin of your collarbone, suguru placed a kiss out of reverence before he started to suck. he was practically in bliss all without taking his clothes off. if he were a weaker man, he would’ve shot his load the minute you’d settled onto his lap and got a whiff of your sweet, sweet perfume.
his hands moved up from your ass up your back, probably going to take your shirt off before his phone got the bright idea to interrupt the moment: want a break from the ads?
suguru had never regretted not investing into spotify premium as much as he did in this moment.
is your girlfriend unsatisfied in the bedroom? your stamina not being what it once was? if these symptoms sound familiar, you might suffering from erectile dysfunction. ask your doctor about levitra—
that was enough to get him up to his feet, crossing over to the kitchen counter in three strides. suguru quickly got his phone from the counter before the ad could continue, deciding that the ambiance was ruined and shutting the music off.
"do these symptoms sound familiar to you?" you teased, resting your cheek on your palm as you watched the scene with mild amusement.
"you could come to my room and find out." not nearly as smooth as he usually was, but good job suguru!
"are you really getting me into your bed with an erectile dysfunction ad?"
suguru tilted his head, "is it working?"
and you really wished it wasn't, but it was. you were quick to get up on your feet, padding over to where he stood and reaching your hand out. "let's go find out then."
his bedroom was much like the living room—a minimalistic design with a couple pictures hung up on the walls. his friends, if you had to guess. he led you over to the bed, sitting down on the edge.
not nearly enough bed-pouncing as you were expecting.
suguru spoke up, his hands resting on his lap, "you're allowed to change your mind, don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do. i’m here to please you.”
“i want this,” you responded, moving up the bed to rest against the headboard. he followed, keeping a reasonable distance between you two, “i want to have sex with you, suguru. let’s just take it slow.”
closing the distance, you straddled yourself over his lap, each of your legs next to his own. you lowered yourself down and placed your hands on his shoulders under the guise you knew what you were doing. and then, you started to rock and gyrate your hips against his clothed leg.
you rubbed and grinded your hips harder, faster against his leg in an attempt to feel something other than the friction of his sweats rubbing against your shorts—unsure of what to do other than rut yourself against him like a dog. maybe he was liking this?
should you start moaning?
“o-oh fuck.” a, what you hoped was realistic, moan left your lips, your fingers digging into his shoulders to really sell the point. suguru looked at you, wondering if he really looked that stupid.
you weren't sure what you were doing—that much was obvious. you were humping his leg, your rhythm too quick to be pleasurable for either one of you at this point.
"have you ever done this before?" were you really that obvious?
the question had your hips stilling their movement, your gaze falling down to his face. when you shook your head, suguru let out a small tut, holding your chin between his fingers, "that's okay, baby. we'll take it nice and slow, just follow me."
his hands splayed on your hips, slightly moving you up his lap before he started to guide your movements. and oh, now you felt it. his cock strained against the material of his sweats, each ridge rubbing against your warm heat.
well, at least now you knew the ad wasn't meant for him.
"oh yeah, that feels better huh?" he cooed in your ear, his cock twitching in his pants just by feeling how wet you were getting already.
you were dripping, slick stringing and sticking to your panties with each roll of your hips. he wasn’t much better—cock prodding against your entrance like it was begging to be released. “uh huh, better,” a breathy whisper left you, your back arching against his fingertips.
when he kissed you again, it wasn’t soft and gentle like he’d been at first. no, he’d tested the waters already.
now he was kissing you like he needed you, like he needed air to breathe. each breath grew labored like he couldn’t bare being apart. his tongue moved in a synchronized dance with yours, tasting and absorbing everything you had to give.
your lips moved with the same desperation, fingers gripping against the material of his shirt. trying to take it off before he seemed to catch onto your unspoken hint. he reluctantly pulled away before sliding his shirt off in one fluid motion, letting it fall onto the mattress beneath. and… wow. beautiful was an understatement when it came to him.
you let your fingers trail down his abdomen, the muscles tensing underneath your featherlight touch. tracing and poking whatever little beauty marks you found on your way down. he was just so.. pretty.
“you really think so?” his voice brought you out of your reverie, and oh shit, you’d said it out loud?
“like you don’t know it already,” you retorted, trying to downplay the situation.
suguru shrugged, watching your fingers intently as you traced and gently scratched down his pecs, “i like when you call me pretty.”
you rolled your eyes but gave in anyways, “you’re very pretty, suguru geto.” you felt his cock twitch underneath at the compliment. leading his fingers towards the hem of your own shirt, you guided him into taking off the flimsy article. he seemed all too eager to revere your body the same way you had his.
mumbled compliments of you’re so beautiful and so soft left his lips until he looked up at you, his hands gliding up and down your hips, "do you want me to keep going or do you wanna stop here?"
you grabbed his hands, bringing them up to your chest. “i want this, suguru. i want to go all the way with you, i promise.” his fingers tweaked and squeezed at your perked nipples, his lips ghosting above the left before he swirled his tongue around it. latching his mouth onto the sensitive flesh and sucking, working the other with his fingers.
strings of saliva connected his lips to your tits when he finally pulled away—deeming that he’d given them enough attention for now. suguru flipped the two of you over, hovering above you before slowly kissing his way down.
peck. your collarbone.
peck. your tits.
peck. your navel.
peck. the waistband of your shorts.
“you can take it off,” you assured him before he even had the chance to ask the question. suguru didn’t hesitate once he got the thumbs up, hooking his fingers onto your belt loops before sliding your shorts down your legs and shaking them off.
you could’ve sworn you caught a hint of drool once you were all exposed for him.
suguru kissed his way up your leg, each one leaving behind a slippery trail behind him. “so pretty,” he mumbled, sucking onto your calf before moving further up to your knee, “so perfect laid out for me.” each one sounded like a quiet admission to himself.
despite how desperate he seemed, suguru took his time when it came to finally undressing you. his teeth sunk into the lace of your underwear, your hips lifted when he moved down the offending material at the pace of molasses. trying to savor as much as he could.
he let them fall onto the pile of clothes next to you before admiring his meal. your cunt clenched around nothing when a slight breeze came in the room, your slick glistening against your folds, clit practically throbbing his name out in morse code.
but suguru prided himself on having some semblance of patience. thinly veiled patience, but patience nonetheless. he wedged himself in between your legs, his lips hovering dangerously close to your entrance before moving down to your inner thigh. repeating what he'd done earlier on your leg.
he pressed featherlight kiss after another onto the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, occasionally biting hard enough to leave behind a nice lil' memory for tomorrow. your legs instinctively spread, every sensation sending your body through a livewire and yet.. you were lost in thought.
you wondered how many people he'd had in this room, how long this would take, what'd you eat for breakfast tomorrow, and—"focus on me, pretty girl."
immediately broken out of your endless string of questions, you looked down to see suguru already peering up at you. "talk to me, what's going on in that head of yours?"
you shook your head, "just got lost in thought, i guess."
"then we'll just have to make it to where you can only focus on me, angel."
and then he dove in like he was a man starving.
his big hands gripped your legs and spread you apart like a feast, tongue flicking out to taste the slick dripping down your folds and thighs. "taste so good, thank you, thank you," he babbled, swiping his tongue up and down your folds before flicking it inside of your pussy.
your cunt gushed like an open sink against his mouth and chin, the man practically nose deep as he thrusted his tongue in and out of your sopping pussy. his jaw went slack, sucking and tracing your folds with the tip of his tongue before going back to eating you out.
soon, two of his fingers took place of his mouth. two long and thick fingers. your juices ran down to his knuckles while he spread you open, his fingers curling and hitting that one spot inside of you with ease. "fuck, it feels so good," you whined, bucking your hips up to meet his fingers.
"i knoww baby, just needed suguru to take care of you." he didn't let up, much too starved himself to even think about doing so. his lips latched onto your swollen, throbbing clit and sucked lightly onto the nerves. your grip on his hair tightened, a broken moan leaving from his lips.
"just like that," he hissed out, his hips rutting into the mattress underneath. you noticed a dark patch growing in the front of his sweats. "take what you want from me, y'know how to do it." your hips swiveled and thrusted against his eager mouth, spit and slick drenching his chin and dripping down to the mattress.
it was hard to think about anything other than him, you had to admit that much.
your legs shook with each thrust of his fingers, with each swipe of his tongue. just as you were about to press your legs together, suguru pried them apart once more with ease. "don't interrupt my meal, i'm not done eating." and how could he say that when he already sounded so drunk off you?
his tongue swirled against your clit, the tip drawing circles around the sensitive nub. "f-fuck, gonna cum, keep going," you whined out, nails digging into his scalp. the sound of your pussy gushing around his fingers was all you could hear, and yet, all you were focused on was chasing your own orgasm.
it was so close, you felt a knot building up in your lower tummy. "fu-fuck fuck fuck," broken babbles left your lips, your toes curling and legs shaking the more you felt that pressure increase. with one final thrust of his fingers, you came. the knot unraveled all at once, your release washing over you (and his fingers) like a tidal wave.
he'd never been such at bliss before.
each breath felt like it was splitting your lungs open, your chest heaving as suguru slowly pulled his dripping fingers out of you. he didn't mind staring you in the eye when he put his fingers in his mouth, sucking them off as if no drop could go to waste. "mm, wanna taste you forever." his eyes practically rolled back, his tongue swirling against the two digits.
once you finally regained your bearings, you sat up and asked, "do you want me to return the favor?"
suguru let out an indignant scoff like you'd just insulted his very existence. and in a way, you had. "i did that because i wanted to, because i needed to taste you," he retorted, shaking his head like he wasn't reevaluating his degree in munchology, "not because i was expecting anything out of you."
getting up from your spot on the bed, you padded over to where he was sitting and situated yourself right in between his legs. absentmindedly running your fingers up up up the thin material of his sweats, barely grazing your fingertips against the growing tent between his legs. before you pulled away altogether.
you looked up at him like you were sin incarnate, lashes fluttering against your cheek, "what if i really really want to suck you off?"
suguru swore his soul left his body for a minute. he'd gladly let you keep it if you wanted it at this rate.
“then by all means, go for it.”
that was all you needed to slide the flimsy material of his sweatpants onto the floor, his cock slapping up against his stomach once it was released. now it was your turn to nearly drool. you couldn't have imagined that a dick could be this pretty.
a nice tan color at the base with a hint of red at the tip, a curve settling to the right and precum dripping down his shaft just from having you in his mouth. it was fairly long and thick—as thick as your forearm, you could assume.
all the fanfiction you had saved in your bookmarks couldn't have prepared you for the sight of the twitching cock in front of you.
you stared at his dick like it was something out of an anatomy textbook, trying to figure out the best approach to go about this before ultimately deciding to throw it out the window and just try it out.
"a-ah fuck." suguru practically turned into putty the moment you took him in your mouth, one of his hands coming to rest on the back of your head. not pushing, never that; he'd never risk making you uncomfortable.
thick globs of spit dribbled down to your chin and down his shaft from the corners of your lips. "just like that, yeah, please." suguru wasn't afraid to be loud—letting you know what you were doing right. one of your hands wrapped around his cock, your fingers tightening around the base before you started to jerk your hand up and down.
you could hardly take him in fully—your cheeks hollowing out to make more space and it still wasn't nearly enough. "soo good, please don't stop," suguru’s voice drawled out when you tried taking more of his cock in your mouth.
you could feel tears pricking up at the edge of your waterline, blinking them back quickly. his cock was barely a couple inches in your mouth and the tip was already starting to hit your uvula, your saliva coating around the shaft to mix with the precum spurting out. once you were able to, you started bobbing your head up and down his length.
suguru’s fingers dug into the sheets beside him, his chest starting to feel like he’d run a marathon. your tongue, your mouth, just you, everything felt too stimulating, too good. the hand you’d been jerking him off with moved down to his heavy sack, your fingers rolling around his balls.
and just like that, suguru was a goner. he swore he saw the flickering of a white light above. you felt them tighten up underneath your fingertips, growing heavier and heavier with cum. you looked up to see him completely disheveled, mouth agape to let out shaky gasps and broken moans. and right before you swore you almost felt him cum, he pulled you off.
“did i do something wrong?” your question came out innocent, like you hadn’t nearly sucked the soul out of his body.
suguru let out a disbelieving laugh, pulling you up to your feet before feverishly leaning into kiss you. not seeming to care that he could taste himself on your tongue. “just need to cum inside you, can i do that, please? you still want this?”
he sounded completely and utterly ruined. but you nodded into the kiss, your fingers pressing into his shoulders. “i need you, sugu, need you so bad. please fuck me, please.”
he moved at the speed of light, setting you down onto the comfort of his mattress before he settled himself on top of you. his cock throbbed and twitched at the mere contact with your bare pussy, his fingers wrapping around the base as he swiped the tip through your folds. “you sure you want this?”
just one more time to confirm. you nodded.
“c’mon, use your words for me, pretty,” he whispered, rubbing the tip against your swollen lil’ clit. your throat bobbed as you swallowed back an embarrassing moan.
“i want this, suguru, i’m sure.”
"okay, take a deep breath in for me." you complied, filling your lungs with air before letting it out in a deep exhale. he slowly pushed his cock in, your walls tightening and clenching involuntarily against his shaft.
"there we go, that's it baby. takin' me so well." suguru's voice came out akin to a purr he didn't mention how he'd barely pushed an inch in. once he was certain it was okay, he pushed another and another in.
a choked gasp left your lips when he finally seemed to bottom out, feeling like your body had just been split in half. and maybe, just maybe it was, you wouldn’t necessarily doubt it.
suguru wiped away a couple tears that streamed down your cheeks, standing still while you got used to the intrusion. it was hard, he had to admit, when you felt so warm and wet around him. but anything for your comfort, he wouldn’t risk that.
“you can move, suguru,” you spoke up, one of your hands reaching out to take hold of his. his fingers grasped your own, placing your hand on top of your head before he slowly pulled out and thrusted back in one swift motion. your pussy drenched his shaft each time he pushed back in, each thrust smoother and faster.
suguru leaned down to kiss you, hair falling like a waterfall and covering his face completely before he ever got the chance to get close. you bit down on your lip, trying to keep yourself from laughing in his (hair covered) face before reaching out and moving his hair out the way.
so goes the super suave geto suguru.
a small giggle left your lips at the gesture, slowly starting to feel more and more comfortable being around him. (well how much more comfortable could you really get after having him inside you?) suguru let out a small huff, rolling his eyes in faux annoyance before handing over a hair tie.
you managed to make the world’s messiest ponytail in twenty seconds. go you!
“i’m glad my embarrassment’s amusing, but you okay?” he asked quietly, treating you as if you were a delicate piece of glass. long fingers trailed up your sides like he was admiring a piece of art, not at all like the strangers that you were supposed to be.
“i’m fine,” you assured, wiggling your hips and trying to thrust back into him, “you can go faster, though, please?”
suguru didn’t hesitate to follow that command, hips snapping into you almost immediately. your cunt sucked him in with each thrust, squelching with how much you’d drenched his shaft. his heavy balls smacked against your ass TWACK TWACK TWACK!
your legs wrapped around his waist like you were physically trying to intertwine your body as close as you could to him. “ah ah fuck, sugu, faster, faster!” your moans sounded like the best kind of melody to his ears, and well, who was he really to deny?
suguru hoisted a leg up on the bed for a better angle, hitting that spot inside of you with each quick thrust. your walls clenched around him like a vice, like you wanted to keep him trapped while you gushed and soaked around him.
“pussy’s so good, i’m never letting you go,” he babbled, his other hand gripping your hip to move you up and down his shaft as he pleased.
his middle finger rubbed desperate little circles against your clit, your eyes rolling back from just how good you felt. the hair tie was long since forgotten, hair falling onto his face as he leaned forward to capture your lips in what could only be described as a tangle of tongue and teeth.
everything about him screamed desperate and unhinged—and you weren’t any different.
“make me cum, make me cum, please,” you moaned out against his lips, your chest heaving and your breaths coming out in short pants. suguru nodded like it was his only mission in life, pushing his cock in and out sloppier and messier than he was at first. practically gliding with how wet you were.
your orgasm built up more intense this time, your nails digging into the sheets below as the coil in your tummy began tightening. “please please please,” for what were you begging for? you didn’t know. a scream that would probably wake up his neighbors left your lips as you came, dripping and soaking his shaft in your wake.
“so messy, my messy girl, that’s ittt.” he was a broken pussy-drunk babbling mess. suguru continued to rut into you, chasing his own orgasm while working you through your own. his hips moved desperately, balls twacking against you with each sloppy sloppy thrust until he finally choked out,
“w-where do you hic want it?”
you didn’t give it much thought, “my face, sugu. wanna taste you, come for me, need you.” that was all it took for the last bit to snap, barely managing to pull out in time before he was spurting out drops of cum onto your face and your open mouth.
you swallowed every last drop that landed on your tongue, your features contorting into a slight grimace once the taste settled on your taste buds. and just like you'd come out of a damn porno and his wet dreams, you stuck your tongue out.
"fuck, you're gonna kill me." a breathless laugh left his lips. he made sure to push his hair back this time around before he leaned into kiss you again, his tongue prodding into your mouth.
one time fucking awkward and slightly offputting girl pussy and he was ready to get your finger measurements to buy the most expensive ring he could find at the jewelers. maybe he'd start with just a date once he came back to his senses.
suguru plopped down on the mattress next to you, rubbing a drop off cum off your cheek with the pad of his thumb before bringing it up to his own lips. "was that okay? you need anything—water, a bath, your dignity?"
you let out an amused scoff, turning your head to face him. admiring his features in the post sex glow. you had to admit—to yourself mostly—he looked good worn out and panting. "my dignity's still intact, thank you. but some water and a rag would be nice."
he cracked open the water bottle and left it on the nightstand next to you before disappearing into the bathroom. you could briefly hear the sound of water running before he emerged once more, a wet rag in hand.
each swipe of the rag in between your legs was a gentle one, treating you with the utmost care in the world. “you don’t have to leave right away, if you don’t want to. i can make some mean scrambled eggs.”
“how inviting,” you teased, taking a sip of the water as you mulled it over. how bad would it be to stay the night if he’d already been inside of you? “but sure, i’ll stay. if only for the scrambled eggs.”
you weren’t sure how long the two of you spent up talking about nothing and everything in between, from what you did for school to how you got into baking. it was.. refreshing, in a sense.
you could picture yourself doing this kind of routine with him almost too easily. the last thing you remember before succumbing to sleep was his arms wrapped around your stomach.
holding you like he never quite wanted to let go.
loud knocking woke up suguru at ass o'clock in the morning, long before the sun even started to peek its head from the horizon. a groan left his lips as he forced himself to untangle his limbs from your own and get up.
you didn't seem to notice his absence, in fact, you almost seemed to enjoy it. a little too much, if you asked him. you laid in the middle of the bed, sprawling your arms and legs out like a starfish.
the knocking on the door grew more insistent—determined to get an answer one way or another.
"hi, good morning. i'm from the church of scientology." this time they'd sent a middle aged man to stand at his door and spit out the same spiel he'd heard for the past five months in a row, greeting him with a smile that suguru deemed unnatural this early in the morning.
a smile that quickly seemed to fade once the man took notice of the blossoming hickey on his neck, the scratches that ran down his abdomen.
the man grasped his copy of dianetics like he was clutching his pearls.
suguru would have to eat you out later just for this reaction.
the man cleared his throat, eyes averting down to the book in his hands, before he cracked it open to the first page he could find. suguru wondered how long it'd take the man to figure out the book was upside down.
"i'm here because you signed up to receive visits every weekend. for just the small price of ¥73,300, you could learn all about the church and how to reach enlightenment—" the more that the man rambled, the more that suguru was more inclined to start his own cult than join this one.
but regardless, he let the man finish his spiel before he tapped his chin in faux thought. “to join a cult or not to join a cult, decisions decisions…”
the man raised a finger to protest, pushing up the thick rim of his glasses up his nose, "well actually, we're not a cult, we're a religious group focu-"
the man was left rambling to the front door about the difference between a 'religious group' and a 'cult.'
but he relented, suguru had to give him that at least. the man remained at the doorstep, bringing his fist up to the door but never making contact. probably regretting coming over in the first place.
"who was at the door?" you were barely awake yourself, rubbing at your eyes as the bright morning light peered in through the windows.
suguru pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a small groan, "would you believe me if i said scientology?"
"who'd you piss off?" you questioned, standing by the kitchen with your arms folded.
this time, another groan. though he sounded more whiny than anything, “why does everyone always assume i did something?”
"am i wrong though?" you countered.
no, not at all. and suguru knew he wasn’t getting out of this conversation that easily. "come on, i'll tell you over scrambled eggs and those cookies you baked yesterday."
₍^. .^₎⟆ doctors orders (the woes of a pregnant wife)
ft. shoko ieri x pregnant!reader
cw, pregnancy / girls can impregnate, light profanity, injury & wifey attracts danger ⋆ all ages can interact!
🏷️ @yorikae @lotuscy @sugusplaything @thceseus @cnavyblue @spookyreviewluminary
shoko can't believe you right now.
you've never been the brightest. now it’s all amplified from the emotions and hormones, leaving you feel like your brain is melting down into mush.
as the tip of your perfectly pedicured toe skims the surface level in the tub, she stands in the doorway. “babe— what is this?” shoko tuts and crosses her arms. she’s in a tiny sleep tank top and lounge pants, hair pulled up in a bun. she had just finished up a smoke session outside as she was trying to cut back on smoking at all. shoko crosses the bathroom quickly to inspect your crime scene, at least that’s what it feels like nowadays.
you had candles lit, your meticulously crafted playlist on, and your bubble bath drawn so full it was close to sloshing over the edge of the tub. it’s humid in the bathroom. shoko can already tell you forgot.
her fingers dip into your water, “no.” shoko pulls her hand back quickly, yanking the drain plug out while you blink in disbelief. “no?” you ask. “it’s too hot!” she frowns. “it isn’t. it’s just a little warm.” you retort. shoko shakes her head.
“it’s hot enough to boil an egg.” she starts fixing your bath for you, checking the temperature before you can get into it. shoko snickers as she glances over and you’re wrapped in your towel with a big frown. “it’s cold..”
“warm. and safe.” shoko interjects. you visibly melt at her words, slipped off your towel and sinking into the tub. not the best bath, but… it’ll do. “let’s make it quick— so i can warm you up in bed.”
next thing shoko knows, she’s haunched over the tub and you’re practically purring with her fingers scratching at your scalp, washing your hair. “you’re such a biiig baby.” shoko teases. you suddenly shift and try to cast a glare at her and her hands steady you back into place so she can finish. you are too sleepy to argue. “there won’t be enough space for two of you…” she trails off, noticing you’ve dozed off. shoko pokes your cheek and your eyes fly open. “hm!” your belly fully rises out of the water.
she giggles, covering her mouth. “you’ll cook them before they get here. warm is fine, no more boiling.” she’s staring at your perfectly rounded belly.
months ago you begged her for this.
“sho! we should have a baby.” you pressed up against her while she was busy at the kitchen counter, trying to cook dinner. shoko raised a brow. “not today.” your body froze up, hands dropping from her waist. “why not? our babies would be cute!”
she shakes her head, “cute in pictures, not when it’s living in your home!” you sigh. “make sure you’re tracking your fertile cycle app. did you take your birth control?” shoko starts simmering the pot and turning around. you shuffle around, looking nervous. “i take that as a no then.” this is the usual thing— you don’t track your cycle and you forget your pills frequently, thinking taking it a day later is fine.
boom— sex ban.
you’ll show her the tiniest baby outfits. wave at the cutest babies in shopping carts and strollers with a big smile. you had a fullblown case of baby fever. thus, shoko never heard the end of it. you did have serious talks about children and of course, you took the pill as did shoko watch her cycle to make sure no babies were getting made.
one night you laid back, fullying accepting and like putty in her hands. “let’s make a baby,” you sighed, “you, me, and a little us.” you peck her lips. shoko is actually the weak one when it comes to this. it doesn’t sound so bad— maybe it would be best if she tells you that later, you both could try as soon as your cycles were compatible. everything seems safe. sometimes, she’ll finish inside of you and make sure you have what you need for extra prevention. you two have been together for years and yeah, you’re right— a little one sounds good.
“they’re soo heavy.” you grimace, both hands pressing on the top of your bump. shoko realized pretty soon that you had forgotten your pill when you started getting nauseous and sleepier. one test later and you blubbered on about not knowing this would happen, shoko reminded you that you have to be punctual with your pill once again and spent the night with you in her arms. you’ll handle it all together and make the best decisions, she swore to you.
nowadays she’s the sole brain here.
the apartment is completely quiet, except for the soft sounds of white noises that shoko has been turning on for you. it's 4:35 am, everyone is asleep here and you are very much not asleep.
a thought hit you. wouldn't your wedding photo be a good touch to the nursery? the walls were pretty bare, your baby needs to be surrounded by love. so you decide that the only thing you need to be doing right now is finding the picture and putting it in the nursery.
you sit up slowly, struggling from lack of sleep and the pressure of this baby. measuring well above average, your baby shifts under your sleep shirt, gasping. "you think so too?" they shift again with a light stretch. "okay well, pee first." your nose scrunches and you're waddling as quick as possible to the bathroom.
after your quick bathroom break, you flick on the hallway light. you slowly open up the hallway closet door, trying not to make any noise as shoko has to wake up for work soon and told you how meticulous and delicate her surgery is. you don't want to interrupt her sleep.
there's the storage box; top shelf and junk stacked on top of the lid. you drag over a stool— noisy— but you don't think you're noisy at all. you climb up halfway before you pause to decide the best course of action before continuing to climb and latch onto the corner, decorations and whatnot rustling around, moving them so they don’t fall off.
"what are you doing?" a groggy voice comes from behind you, making you freeze and slowly turn to the voice. shoko stands at the end of the hall and crosses her arms over her chest with messy hair and half-lidded eyes. she scans over your figure, assessing the clear risk.
you smile sheepishly, “…uh, nothing?” shoko glances at the stool, your belly, the heavy box— then you. “get down.”
“i almost have it!”
she sighs, “get down from there.” you let out a little whine as you think you have it, not wanting to stop in the middle and give up. “it’s rea-ally important, sho!” she frowns, her expression worried. she doesn’t want you falling or to get faint while climbing high. “what on earth could possibly be so important at four— that you’re climbing on stools to get into storage?”
you point upwards. “us!”
shoko pauses, a bit confused. “…what?” she stares at the top shelf. “our wedding photo,” you said earnestly, “for the nursery… the baby should have it in the nursery.” she goes silent, arms falling to rest at her sides, shifting her weight onto her other side.
you reach up again to get a better grip, the box shifting, far too heavy for your loose grip. your balance wobbles— shoko moving fast, one hand bracing your hip and her other hand on your back. “hey— no.”
“i’ve got this sho!” she stands there unconvinced, before her hands grip your hips firmly. “come down.” ooh… shoko sounds serious! she guides you down from the stool, acting as if she was handling something fragile. which, you were, a little bit. you huffed. “i could’ve got it myself.”
shoko snorts, “sure you could’ve babe.” she pulls the box off of the top shelf with a huff. “i just don’t want you falling or getting lightheaded. anything could happen, i don’t want to see that.” she explains. oh— she’s got you. you wander to the sofa with her so you can find your picture frames.
there’s the two of you on your wedding day, holding onto a small cake plate, pressing a fork to your lips. you’re clearly distracted by something else and white cream is stuck to your lip. “you look like a cupcake.” she murmurs, staring at the wedding gown you begged for. full of rhinestones, lace, flowers, and very big— it made her heart skip and jaw drop to see you in your dress.
“you looked so good…” you lean into her side, “now we are gonna have a baby. thankfully you kept me around?” shoko rolls her eyes, smiling at the picture. it’d been a bit over six years since and your relationship is stronger than ever. “of course i am.” she kisses you, standing to take the photo to the nursery. you’re already asleep and drooling slightly.
when you wake up in the morning, the picture’s hung up on the wall above the dresser. you’re awake to get ready to go to lunch with some friends in a few hours. shoko is so pretty in the picture, tight bodice and rhinestones all over. she had never been in the habit of getting into a dress with you. she preferred her skirts. well, more for you!
she’s already home by the time you return, picking up some books and left behind dishes on the coffee table. your front door flings open, shoko already hearing noises from you as you were unlocking the door.
cheeks pink from laughing, hair windblown, your sundress wrinkled from sitting too long, with a hand supporting the underside of your belly like a treasured melon. you waddle in, “hiiii, baby!” you sing from the doorway. shoko looks up from her book on the sofa, instantly softer hearing you.
there you are. her very cute, very pregnant, very hungry, and very distractable wife.
“how was your lunch?” shoko asks, eyes following you as you circle around the sofa. “amaziiing!!” you kick off your sparkly sandles and waddle over dramatically. you cuddle into her side instinctively and she can’t help but drape her arm over your side, thumb kneading your thigh.
you inhale her perfume, exhaling deeply. “i was starving! like, real bad. i almost ate the menu while waiting.” shoko laughs, shaking her head with a soft smile. “that bad?” you pout, nodding. “yes! the baby wanted lunch now.” shoko turns to face you more when you pull out your phone and begin to scroll through photos to show her.
you’d taken pictures of everything. the drinks, your friends and you at every store, insane desserts, you. then— shoko narrows her eyes at one. in one photo, clearly you were so hungry you only took a single picture, sits a massive deli sandwich in front of you.
stacked with a copious amount of bacon, a dab of lettuce, lots of tomato, and a mountain of turkey on soft bread. she looked at you slowly. “what’d you eat?” you kiss her neck, smiling proudly.
“a sandwich and fries!” ooh, you should take her out to eat there on her day off. maybe a roast beef would be good for next time! awh, the baby would be there… maybe they can recognize the sandwich scent? you need to pick the best lunch spot for your first lunch as mommies.
“what kind of sandwich?” shoko stares at you.
your smile dims, mind going totally blank.
“…turkey?” shoko exhales through her nose. you freeze up at her serious look. “what.” you really don’t remember! she can’t help but think of why she’s so in love with you again.
you sit up, resting back against the sofa. “was it hot?” she asks.
“no…” your eyes widen up in stages, every fact and every pamphlet shoko gave you for your diet coming back. “oh my god.” she can visibly see the gears in your brain turning as you recall them. “it’s okay—” she tries. “oh my god.” you repeat. “baby—”
“I ATE IT.” you clutch your sides before flailing your hands around, “i fed our baby POISON!” you had been so good at not eating things like certain cheeses or raw fish— you had forgot about deli meat. shoko catches your wrists gently to stop you from panicking, “hey. look at me.” she’s calm and steady toned, meeting your eyes.
your eyes are glossy and stinging with fresh tears. “i didn’t know.” you whisper, voice cracking at the end. shoko sighs, exhausted and so painfully in love with you. “i know.” shoko frowns.
“what do i do? i ate it!” you still can’t believe you did it after all the reminders. your wife is a doctor after all… she advises you on everything, your personal medical encyclopedia and especially now, she teaches you things constantly. “you do nothing— just breathe.” she sighs.
“but it’s inside me!” shoko giggles, shaking her head. “yes,” she says dryly, “that is how eating works.” a watery laugh escapes you, followed by immediate tears. you really don’t want to mess this up. you’re so worried that you’re behind in everything and you’ll never catch up. there’s only a few weeks left.
“i’m such a bad mom already.” that sentence makes a pit form in her stomach, feeling awful for you. shoko pulls you closer, nearly in her lap, making you lean into her side. she tucks you against her shoulder and slides a hand over your bump, rubbing slow circles against the side. “no,” she says quietly. “you’re not.”
you’re quiet, unlike yourself. “but i should’ve known…”
shoko shakes her head. “you’re learning. there’s a million and then some little rules no one memorizes overnight. it’s basically impossible.”
you sniffle sadly, “there’s too many.” shoko’s thumb traces along your ribcage back and forth automatically. she loves the warm weight of you, the sensation of kicks, your body that holds her two favorite people. you are amazing to her.
“a single sandwich won’t hurt you two. the concern is about reducing risk. you’ve ate there before and have never been sick from their food— so, you should be fine.” she explains to you, making sure you understand.
despite her explanation, you still blink through tears and hiccup pitifully. “so… the baby’s okay?” you asks, needing that extra confirmation from her. “very much okay.” shoko confirms. “promise?” you hold out your pinky finger for her and stare at her with sad eyes. “i’m a doctor.” she retorts.
you wrap your arms around her, burrowing your face into her neck. “my wife first.” you murmur possessively. shoko can’t help but smile at that. “then as your wife, i promise.”
shoko kisses the top of your head, making you melt into a puddle in her arms. “okay…” everything’s settled and your concerns have been answered— she always want you to be in the know, especially now. almost everyday, you ask her if certain things are okay for health and shoko always replies, even if she’s at work. “next time, if you want deli meat, we heat it first. or pick a hot sandwich. a panini, melt, toasted sandwich, whatever you want.” she offers.
you brighten up instantly, thinking of all the options there are for hot foods.
despite her warnings— it doesn’t stop shoko from coming home the next day to you sipping on a massive chocolate chip frappuccino with a cake pop in your other hand. cake crumbs dot your lips, grinning at your wife. caffeine was the first thing your doctor had told you about.
“oh my god!” your hands fly to your mouth, gasping. “oh my god! sho!” you realize again, shoko face palming with a big smile. your venti sized, sugar and caffeine loaded beverage is nearly gone. your lip wobbles. “i did it again!!!” she sighs.
HI CUTIEE!! I LOVW YOUR WORKS SOOO MUCH ESPECIALLY THE SUKUNA ONESS!! If its possible could you do a Car Mechanic bf Sukuna and a reader whos clueless about cars? I LOVE YOU SOSOSO MUCH YOUR WORKS BRING ME SO MUCH JOY !! 💗💗💗
what’s everyone’s dream car? mine’s a 1968 mustang in butter yellow w brown seats and teddy bear hub caps 🤤🤤🤤
you didn’t know how you let it get this bad again. it was one moment where you seemed to be getting better before it all came crumbling down. you were studying one moment, seated on the floor, before your brain was flooded with every momentary thing you did wrong—it was all seconds before you could feel your throat close in on you. the room started to feel too big, too small all at once, your eyes brimming with tears threatening to spill, while your body seemed to close in on itself.
the very second it began you wanted to will it to stop. you hated it. it made your skin crawl and it made you feel like everything seemed to crumble over virtually nothing.
you needed something, someone to ground you—the only person who’d seen you like this was shoko, and she had forced her way into your mind and heart in ways that terrified you. but she knew you, she could help.
you fumbled around the room, your face now streaming tears, your breath coming out in short spurts like you were drowning.
“shoko..shoko..” was all you mumbled before rummaging your contacts list, before typing out a very scrambled and frantic—
y.n: i need you. come over. pleade
sukuna: i’m omw.
your head was far too gone to notice who you’d texted at the time, too busy trying to force yourself to breathe normally while you were curled up in the floor, slowly knocking against your head just to make it stop.
you were slowly crumbling, right before you heard a curt nod at your door.
you unlocked it, your head held low, right before you were going to jump into shoko’s arms, you looked up.
“hey—woah what happened to you?”
“you’re not shoko.” you gasped out, your face flushed, your eyes still hot with tears.
“no…i’m not.” is all he said, standing in your doorway while you spiralled.
sukuna had never found himself in a situation like this. he was used to short conversations, drunken rambling, but not this. he’d never seen you out of your entire collected, calm facade, he could feel pits form in his stomach when you saw your tear stained face, the way you hiccuped every moment while trying to get your words out.
“im sorry i’m so sorry i meant to call shoko—i’m so sorry kuna.” you gasped out, your eyes still teary, you so desperately wanted it to stop. you were embarrassed beyond belief, of all people.
“hey hey it’s okay—what’s wrong?” he was awkward, clumsy, but he wanted to help.
your relationship with each other was steady, something where it wasn’t enough to constitute something romantic, but something that was far beyond platonic too. it was messy hookups, late night drives, getting drunk on rooftops and singing like there wasn’t another soul in the world.
“i can’t, kuna i can’t—” you were slowly stepping away from him, still gasping for air while your vision blurred before you, slowly trying to hiccup your tears away. he can’t see you like this. he’ll leave you behind. and everything you’d built so far was going to crumble because you were an idiot.
right before you sat back down, you could feel sukuna slowly grab your wrists, before leaning to look at you.
“may i..?” he asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft, softer than you’d ever heard him before.
“it’s okay, i’m not going anywhere, sweetheart, i was just caught off guard.” he hoped to god he was saying the right things.
you slowly leaned into his touch, your voice hoarse, your face still streaming, your vision still blurry as ever, but his arms slowly enveloped you, carrying you over to your couch, his arms around you while you slowly sobbed into his chest.
“do you…wanna talk about it?”
you slowly shook your head,
“that’s alright. whenever you’re ready.”
your breathing was still unsteady, still sobbing into sukuna’s chest while you mumbled little apologies for soaking his possibly very expensive sweatshirt.
he slowly cupped your cheeks, slowly wiping away what seemed to be endless tears while you clutched at his shirt, still in his arms while you sobbed.
sukuna was terrible at this—he was a man of a few words, but that was okay, you didn’t need many words right now. you were steady in his arms while he slowly patted your head, until your hiccups seemed to slow. he was unused to this, but he wanted you beyond what words he could conjure up. he wanted to shatter this weird limbo the two of you were stuck in. he wanted to be yours. but until then, he’d always be here, rocking you in his arms until your sobs slowed to slow snores into his chest.
he’d never been more grateful that you called the wrong number, and neither were you. he was here, he was quiet, unsure, panicked but he was there. he didn’t freak and he didn’t run from it, and that meant more to you than words would ever say.
ITS BACK. @yoonsucks @yorikae
dividers: @/pixopix .
all works belong to @lilithkleia, do NOT copy, translate or feed to AI. lest you wish upon toji’s worm to crawl up your ass.
Hiii! I love love love your smaus, I had the idea for like sugar daddy (like literally anyone from jjk) with a sugar bby reader who’s like nervous about spending their money.
If your requests are open...could you buy chance do one smau (or the texting thing sorry idk i'm semi new to tumblur) Sukuna and a very shy and introverted reader, (gn) mostly fluff if all fluff is possible..its their first relation and Sukuna is trying to help them be more social and if so make them a bit ditsy in the way they type n behave (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝)
(If u arent accepting sorry please ignore this ( ܸ. .)՞՞)
꒰safe꒱ boyfriend!sukuna learns about mental health for you
cw: fluff. reader struggles with her mental health so reader discretion advised (nothing graphic is described but she is close to a panic attack at the end)
The first time you opened up to your boyfriend Sukuna about your mental health, you hadn't really planned to. It just… came out. Maybe it was the way he held you close, or maybe the fact he looked at you with sharp unwavering eyes, waiting patiently for you to tell him what it was that had his favourite girl crying like that.
And he listened. Didn't make comments or judgments… just listened. Making a mental note of all the people he wanted to kill, sure – but you didn't need to know that part.
All you had to know was your boyfriend was there when you needed him.
It made opening up to him a second time a little easier. And then the third. And now, it had been enough times that this was normal – you felt no shame telling him about the worst things that had happened to you.
Sukuna made you feel safe. And safe was, somehow, difficult at times.
You were just so used to dealing with it on your own, it was weird to get used to at first. And Sukuna knew you were capable of dealing with it, but that wasn't the point – the point was you didn't have to do it alone anymore.
Every time you tried to pull away, he was right there to bring you back. Crossing his impossibly huge arms over his broad chest, planting his feet right on the ground, making himself immovable until you finally told him what was wrong. There was no point trying to hide your emotions from him – Sukuna could read you like a book.
And he liked it that way too. You didn't know, but he spent a long time just… studying you. Wanting to figure out what made you upset so that he knew how to get you out of it too. He researched even, but more importantly, he listened.
Your boyfriend was a stubborn man, for sure. And ridiculously protective. Some would even say menacing – but you knew the anger behind his eyes was never directed at you.
You knew he wanted to burn the world down every time you opened up a little more, but instead, Sukuna stayed. And the more he stayed, the more you started to trust that safe wasn't a trap.
To his credit, he did become incredibly good at dealing with it too. Like tonight, for example.
It was just a stupid film, it wasn't supposed to affect you like this – but here you were, curled to your boyfriends side, heart beating like a drum inside your chest because something on screen had hit a little too close to home.
You didn't even have to name it; as soon as that scene had started, Sukuna pressed the red button and turned the whole thing off.
"Don't want to watch that" he rolled his eyes, as if the movie had offended him on your behalf. He pulled you into his lap fully without a word, but when he spoke again, all venom was absent from his voice. "Hey" he called. "Don't pretend with me"
You let yourself sink forwards, resting your forehead on your boyfriends shoulder as the first tears started to fall. Not too long ago, you would have been terrified something like this would drive him away, but not now – now you trusted him completely.
Sukuna held you close, rubbing your back gently. "That's it" he murmured to your hair, not caring about how you were making his skin all wet. "Let it out"
"I'm sorry–" you started to say, but Sukuna interrupted with an annoyed tsk.
"What did I say about saying sorry?" he huffed, only pulling you closer. "Come on. Tell me five things you can see"
It should have been almost comical. A man of his personality and appearance trying to be your personal therapist – but Sukuna meant every bit of it.
So you slowly pulled away from him, trying to slow your breathing down. Your eyes danced across the room, too dilated and startled for his liking, but Sukuna held you closer as he gave you time.
"The sofa" you started, swallowing. "The TV. The coffee mug you forgot to clean. The glass of water, and–" your eyes turned to him, opening just the hint of a smile. "You"
"Good" he praised, smoothing your hair back. "Four you can feel"
You closed your eyes this time. "My heart beating really fucking loud–"
"Hey. Breathe" Sukuna interrupted, noticing the pain in your face. He slowly took your hand away from where it rested on your lap, bringing it to his chest instead. "How about this?"
His heart beat under your palm – strong, but steady – just like him.
"I can feel your heart" you muttered, using it to ground yourself. "And your hand around my wrist"
"And?"
"And how warm you are" you swallowed, visibly relaxing a little. "And your other hand on my back... it's– it's nice"
"Well done" his thumb rubbed small circles against your skin, another thing to help calm you down. "Three you can hear" he continued.
You paused a little, taking the environment in. "A car outside" you said, then taking a hand to your middle. "My stomach gurgling. I think I'm hungry?"
Sukuna let out a dry chuckle, pleased it was working. "I'll make you something in a minute"
"Your voice" you smiled, continuing. Your breathing was a little steadier, your posture a little more relaxed.
Sukuna seemed very pleased.
"Two you can smell" he reminded you of the next step.
You took a deep breath in, enjoying the sensation of your lungs expanding inside of you, not so tense anymore. "Your shampoo" you chuckled. "And the laundry liquid on my clothes"
"Good" he hummed. "And one thing you can taste–"
You lowered yourself down before he even finished the sentence, leaving a peck on his lips.
"You" you smiled.
Sukuna relaxed finally, trying to pretend you didn't undo him completely. His finger tips dug just a little more on your side, but his eyes were still searching for any sign of distress. "Feel better?" he asked you.
"I do" you exhaled, letting go of some much needed tension in your shoulders. "Thank you, Kuna"
"Of course" his large palm guided your head down, right to the crook of his neck. "Now rest, brat" he completed, with no bite to it.
i was not going to post this but thought maybe someone could relate and find some comfort in reading it just how i did writing it. sending you all so much love <3
i need to be normal and not think about morning after with jing yuan. how he’s deep asleep when sunlight hits. how his bare chest, shoulders, and upper back are covered in shallow, numerous scratches. how he keeps a hand at all times on your waist even while deep asleep. how soft his mattress and sheets feel against your bare skin. how ghosts of his lips and hands on you haunt you. how your back surprisingly doesn’t hurt because he made sure to massage you as you drifted to sleep after your activities. how your neck and chest are spotted with his own marks. how he will wake as if it’s any other day, yawn and stretch, when he eventually wakes up, but pause to study you quietly. how he traces your features with a finger with gentle but tender affection, treating you like you’re the most precious thing that could ever exist in this world. how he pushes your hair from your face and leans down to press a sweet kiss to your nose. how he prompts you to speak and tell him everything you’re thinking and how you feel. how he leans ever so slightly over you and speaks in hushed tones. how he gets closer and closer the more you talk until there’s no distance between you. how he will kiss you so slowly and softly, unable to pull back, hand drifting to caress. how he laughs when you shudder. how he insists on continuing to take care of you. how aftercare will bleed into the next day because to him, sex is more than sex, now that it’s with you.
synopsis: your secret is out. jing yuan knows you have a crush on him, but he does something about it (spoiler: he makes out with you).
tags: jing yuan x reader, fluff, apprentice!reader, jing yuan airs out reader’s work drama lol, he might be ooc :<, reader has trouble articulating + asserting self, some non-sexual intimacy(?), lots of praise, use of pet name: dove, mostly inner dialogue, lots of kissing, slightly beta’d, 3.6k words
a/n: i wrote this for absolutely no reason! like girl yo have drafts to attend to??? also sorry for tagging but i wrote this for the #realones that showed up when i asked if anyone would be interested in reading this. also pls let me know if u like this :3 may or may not write for hsr in the future hehe ⸝⸝ ⟡ tags 4 @jingyuansfinch ☆ @giftyartfanfic ☆ @tiramisuwui
when the great jing yuan, the divine foresight of the xianzhou luofu, personally called you at such an ungodly hour, you were sure you were dreaming. twilight had fallen long ago. at this point, unless you were of upper military rank or within the realm of xianzhou alliance, everyone had all retired to their chambers. that was the case for you. that was the case for you: nothing more than an apprentice at forging swords and swordsmanship.
so, when you received word that you must see jing yuan at once, at this late hour, you panicked for more reasons than one.
one, you had just gotten ready for bed. your appearance was not suitable to meet with such a high ranking official. haphazardly, attempts at being presentable were made, but it would be a lie to say that they were fulfilled. no makeup, hair no longer bound and worn up, robes loosely tied beneath your other layers. two, this was no way to go about being seen by an official let alone someone who you are unfortunately enamored with.
perhaps, enamored was far too strong of a word. the rational part of you chided that voice in your head of which felt similar to a teenager with nothing more than a blossoming crush. that was surely all it was, which made it all the more unfortunate.
the infatuation struck you from out of nowhere. from the first moment you had seen him, eyes taking up his image even though you had caught him as nothing more than a hologram, he was divine in every way. birds sprung about on his shoulders at times, twittering and singing, as he went about his duties or conversed with others. felines would come forth to him, comfortable enough to see that he will treat even the most meager of creatures with gentle affection. it was hard not to take those details in. something about that did something to you.
besides that, words were hardly exchanged between you on a day to day basis, but because you were currently being trained by yunli and yanqing, for the past few months, jing yuan would often show up to give updates, converse, give orders, or simply watch. he wasn’t called the dozing general for no reason.
by association, he would extend greetings to you, and you’d do the same. respectful and work friendly was perhaps the only way that he viewed your exchanges, or anyone of the sort. the longest conversation you had had was five minutes, much of it was due to your innumerable questions to ask him to elaborate and reiterate. he found that particularly laughable for whatever reason, but he never gave you a hard time for that.
concealing your true feelings and acting was cowardly, but it helped to not make any moves or make any sudden moves to let your feelings be known. after all, the dynamics… your position, his — none of it was suitable to mesh at all. your position held no importance, not nearly as his.
with the door shut behind you, you were finally ready to make your way to the chambers where he always worked in or would meet with other arbiter generals. it surprised you since it was practically nearing the dead of night. shouldn’t he be sleeping? the man dozed off so often he had a nickname about it. was the matter at hand keeping him up? that wouldn’t do. you must apologize at once.
were you in trouble? your mind tumbled and sorted feverishly through the files of memories within reach, of anything that remotely resembled skirting past ethics or conflict of interest. was it something you said or the way you said something? there had been times in your life where someone would chastise you about your tone or when you spoke before thinking, even if your intention was never to hurt anyone. it never was, matter of fact; that led to a resolve of you hardly speaking your mind, feeling due to perform whenever it came to socializing or being outside of the comfort of your bedroom.
it didn’t take much longer before you approached the main doors, exhaling with a shudder, before knocking timidly. after receiving a curt, hearty laugh in response and a beckoning, you pushed through and made your way in.
jing yuan awaited with his back to you, hand rummaging through contents of whatever laid about the table, before turning towards you in between the blink of an eye. making eye contact was already an insurmountable challenge, so naturally, your eyes gravitated towards the darling birthmark beneath his eye. they had to, considering his apparel, or lack thereof.
long had his outermost armor of his wear been gone, it seemed. seeing him this way equated to seeing him naked.
you cleared your throat and hastily walked towards him, down the steps, over the walkway, and up again the next set of steps before you were within appropriate distance. the intensity with which he peered at you leveled to flames, blossoming perspiration across your skin. he had this easy going smile, the line of his mouth etched so gently into his porcelain like skin that it didn’t crease a muscle. the neutrality of such a gesture presented his eyes as nebulous, which did nothing to deter the queasiness of your belly.
none of this had to be without intention. jing yuan was renown for the past centuries for being a strategist. had you done something you weren’t even aware of?
“good evening, general. thank you for waiting for me. i wanted to apologize for keeping you up so late,” your voice found footing enough to become resolute and stand, but the stuttering swayed you.
he wasn’t blinking. then his face shifted as a smile made its way in his expression. he even laughed, the sound full and happily taking space in the expanse of the room. was he laughing at you?
“there’s no need for the formality nor the apology. rest assured, you’ve done nothing wrong.” jing yuan’s voice only continued to douse you with heat despite the purpose of his words. the rich edge when he spoke fanned open flames across your cheeks that you prayed would not show.
you meekly stood straight, rigid, frozen, blinking at him, all at the mercy of what you awaited for him to say. the situation made you hang on precariously to each new clue he would give both physically and verbally as to why you had been summoned.
he moved so lazily, shifting weight onto both feet now, crossing his arms, smiling. his movements only pulled you in more and more.
“then… may i ask why i was summoned?” you all but stammered.
his expression remained still. your eyes diverted from the path of his own, studying his luscious, platinum locks, long enough to run above his taut arms. without the armor, his muscles were left exposed, taut beneath the fabric of his apparel. his waist remained accentuated, ratioed against the broad length of his shoulders. you forced yourself to rip your eyes away from them and back to the matters at hand.
jing yuan didn’t miss that, observant and keen. his smile deepened the longer he peered at you.
“i have a matter to bring up. one you should be aware of,” you gulped when he started towards you, gait slow but steady, footsteps heavy. it made you feel like you were on trial. what he got in return was a mere nod.
soon, his feet took him within an arm’s reach of you. such proximity stunted the size difference between you, making you feel smaller and smaller with every step. jing yuan walked round you, circling you slowly, posture casual and tone kind, despite the situation feeling otherwise.
“what kind of matter?” your heart began to thunder in your ears. jing yuan invaded your senses, not all, but nearly, considering the hand he had over your silly, little, easy heart.
he chuckled, shaking his head, marching behind you, taking note of the way your form trembled each time he did that, as if too shy to react before him.
“those who you deem friends… in your apprenticeship under yunli and yanqing?”
you nodded, “yes?”
he scoffed softly, still beaming in his gentle and charming way.
“if i were you, i wouldn’t consider them to be friends. they are not good company. i suppose its in your nature to trust, but someone should have told you by now to never befriend the people you work with.”
he called you… this late at night for a warning?
you continued to blink at him, quietly, not quite sure what to make of such information, swallowing a lump.
he stopped behind you, his shadow looming over you from the overhead and wall lighting.
“so, is that it? you won’t ask for a reason?” his question was genuine. it stirred you from your slight stupor.
“should i?” your voice caught on the edge of your throat, catching and being pulled from it awkwardly: yet another stutter.
the warmth behind you grew hotter, enveloping you, as he stepped closer. funnily enough, that action wracked a shiver out of you. just when you felt the ghost of his breath against your ear, jing yuan returned to his place in front of you, orbiting fast, nearly giving you whiplash.
“are you always this passive?” the question made your heart wobble. the response came out as a physical retort, shaking your head immediately.
“no… i…” you bit the skin of your lip, dropping your eyes. the air felt thinner, warmer, giving you more trouble to keep composure in the face of the general. if you felt it, he could definitely see it, which made it even worse.
“i ask because those so called friends of yours gossip and blabber. you may wonder what that has anything to do with you or me, but what has been disclosed has unfortunately been revealed to me,” he took a few steps closer. like a bird battering against his cage, your heart pounded and rattled at the seams of your rib cage.
there it was again, his scent. he smelled of herbs, incense, sandalwood, and clean soap. it wasn’t overpowering, but it was enough to uptick your heartbeat. he carried such a lovely aroma; it reminded you of a luxurious bath. your hands played with the fabrics down where they remained by your sides. jing yuan’s eyes glanced down before settling back up.
“i wish i could say that’s all there is to it, but you give yourself away, too. i find it worrisome in the case of other, potentially dire situations,” his voice dropped a little, getting closer and closer until you had to crane your head slightly back to meet his molten gaze.
“huh?” you were never going to admit it. there was no fucking way he knew. it couldn’t be… he smirked and scoffed a little laugh.
“it’s been brought to my attention that you have a crush on me, or however those children you work with put it.”
all oxygen dissipated from your lungs, it seemed. your jaw screwed shut after dropping it for a mere second. you felt your heart plummet past the mantle of the world’s core.
there was no way. blood turned cold, and you now shuddered. he watched you for a brief moment to see how you processed it; it went about the way he predicted, and he chuckled warmly.
“relax. hey? relax,” his hands rested on your shoulders to ground you, but it cleared your mind like a clean slate, leaving all that facade and plan to clear your name blank, forgone.
“you give yourself away too easily. heart pounding, perspiring, flushed, knuckles white from your grip, your eyes, most of all. they all do the talking.”
you drop your eyes to your shoes, watching him take another step closer until his feet nearly met yours. humiliation washed over you from head to toe. maybe you thought you were keeping a good cover, but seems you were obvious enough for others to catch on, including the person you felt this way about. you felt sick. everything was flip flopped. in the maze of this situation, you found it hard to make an exit enough to speak.
“look at me? please.” his voice dropped to a gentle tone. he waited a moment before actively helping you, large hands cupping your jaw to tilt up, which you let him, of course. jing yuan’s expression softened even more when he could see the glossiness of your eyes. he studied you for a moment, blinking down at you.
his thumb found refuge on the dip between your lip and your chin while the other rubbed your cheek. the calloused edges to his flesh wrought shudders out of you.
“you’re thinking,” he observed. “i wish to hear your thoughts.” your breaths trembled as you inhaled. how could you continue knowing that he knew, that everyone knew?
“i’m sorry…”
“what for?” as he spoke quietly, you noticed the full volume that he often spoke with became much softer, plush, and akin to velvet and cashmere.
“this… this trivial matter. i’m merely a subordinate, and i’ve taken advantage of my privilege to be in this position. and this is so humiliating.” his close proximity did nothing to quell the trembles of your entire body and heart.
jing yuan hummed, his thumb slowly dipping upwards from the valley of your chin to the mountain of your bottom lip, thumb tracing the underside of it. the gesture knocked the air right out of you.
“mm, i see where you’re coming from, however i wouldn’t say so. in fact, i find this amusing,” this was definitely humiliating. was he admitting he pities you and laughing at you? his thumb pressed a little more when your mouth began to form a frown, stopping it.
“for the record, you are adorable. you should see yourself. just like a little dove.”
that down to earth charm of his, serene yet powerful, only seemed to pull you in, uncaring for the situation you were in tears about just mere seconds ago.
your lungs expanded and deflated faster now, filtering quicker breaths and keeping up with the unfettered race of your heart. jing yuan lowered his head down. he rubbed your bottom lip, golden eyes glancing down. his attention diverted from your gaze to your trembling lips, once, then twice.
jing yuan practically cooed as you opened your mouth, not really sure of what to say when you did so. he shut you right up, not even having to lift a finger, coming in closer until you were breaths apart from one another. the undercurrent of his clean musk fragrance filled your sense all the more. he was hypnotizing.
“so shy. sweet. albeit passive at times. soft spoken. dedicated. the very essence of harmony,” heat enveloped your face and body, rendering you speechless the more he spoke in that dangerous murmur that sprung goosebumps across your flesh. “truly a dove.”
this couldn’t be happening. here was the divine foresight before you. one of the charioteers of the xianzhou luofu: high ranking, charming, famous, cunning, powerful, detached, and regal. here he was, so close your breaths mingled with one another, his powdery stark hair tickling your face slightly. was this really not a dream?
“general, i — ”
“jing yuan.” he corrected you in a murmur.
you couldn’t dare speak now. what were you to say? was it best to pull away and pretend none of this was happening? or, were you to really deny yourself the presence, the gravitational pull, that came with the man you had been infatuated with for the past months?
his other hand shifted to cradle through your own locks and cup the back of your head. the proximity forced his body against yours, pressing enough to make the pit in your belly light with flames.
“my, you are quite passive,” he laughed, lips grazing yours. his tone carried no ire or ill will, not that you could determine it, head filling with static white noise the closer you got to him, like seeing the heavens themselves. “what does the dove want, hm? i should apologize for being so forward. i can move away. i can let go. i will do as you please. just say the word.”
you swallowed hard. his nose brushed against yours. your eyes fluttered shut when you blinked, lips parting to find your voice.
silence filled the room for a moment.
“i don’t want you to… pull away…” you admitted quietly. the smile returned to jing yuan’s features.
cutting distance between you, he nosed against the bridge of your own, fingers gentle as they shifted through your hair. you didn’t even care about the still-there embarrassment of the situation; it only made the heat in your belly hotter. this was too good to be true. why deny yourself heaven?
“i… want you to kiss me…” you confessed in a whisper.
jing yuan hummed, thumb tracing the edge of your mouth. he even chuckled. in response, the hearty vibrations sent welcome shocks to your core through his touches.
“i am a man of my word.” jing yuan murmured before slicing through the line of too far gone. he captured your lips with about as much fervor as he did with slaying beasts and strategizing as he had always done for the past few centuries.
jing yuan’s hand moved down to your waist, expansive over your supple curve. he pulled you closer against him. you were sure he could feel your shudders. his lips were full and soft, tasting of earthy herbs and fruit.
the only thing you could register was intense warmth, your heartbeat muffled and reverberating in your eardrums, the weight of jing yuan’s hands on you, and his lips moving slowly yet passionately in tandem with you.
seconds went by, and soon, the minute exchanges accelerated with momentum. neither of you had pulled away for even a second to catch your breaths. your breathing grew heavier, mouths parting slightly, pushing you both down a slope that was soon to make the kisses messy. jing yuan was languid in the way he took control, hand sliding to your hip to squeeze ever so slightly, cradling your head gently and pressing closer. the sound of your heart pounding grew duller and duller in the background as the sensation of jing yuan’s tongue met with yours briefly.
even as you attempted to pull back by an inch, jing yuan was keen on keeping you, chasing after you, swallowing up your gasp. all words eluded you. your hands couldn’t even cope, fingers trembling while they treaded over his abdomen.
then, a sensation sprouted from your hip. his hand. his thumb rubbing circles into your bone through your plush flesh. the kinetic force of each exchange evoked the softest of sounds from deep within your throat, peeking out with each shallow breath, until it all grew to a head when jing yuan’s lips on yours slowed to a stop. he halted, cupping your cheek now, exhaling softly over you, golden eyes darkened and nebulous as they studied you.
jing yuan dared to pull in for one last, slow kiss. you savored the feeling of his lips melding against yours before being apart, as they were. as they should be… your stuttering heartbeat returned to the foreground. your knees wobbled from the intensity of what had just transpired.
no words were shared. jing yuan took one step back, watching you, before lifting a hand to loop some hair back behind your ear, finger trailing the edge of your jaw.
you swallowed a lump in your throat, suddenly unsure of what to do or say. awkwardly, you settled to have your hands behind you.
his mouth widened with a beam. his rich, low laugh seemed to sober you. your cheeks burned all over again.
“look at you. too sweet for your own good,” he let out a heavy sigh. it was hard to ignore the way your lips still tingled. “those friends, they don’t deserve you.”
you dared not to speak, not ready to ruin all the fruit that had been reaped from this chance meeting. jing yuan turned his head to the clock then back to you.
“you are overdue for your sleep, dove. my apologies for keeping you to myself,” jing yuan whispered. you merely nodded, already missing his warmth.
“thank you… jing yuan.” you finally said. saying his name felt easier to accomplish now. his smile stretched wide, muscles bowing to create such a beautiful expression on his face. you bowed your head briefly to bid your goodbye.
deep down, you knew the kiss meant nothing. everything was obsolete in the face of time, responsibilities, politics, and hierarchy. you took every single new day in stride because you always knew that nothing was promised. every good thing in the short passage of life was simply a blessing. so, walking away from the most passionate exchange from the person you were enamored with was simply enough to make you content.
with one hand on the handle, you pulled the door to leave when you heard, “hey.”
you turned back briefly to watch him from where he stood, still in place, arms crossed. his immovable smile filled you with a sense of peace.
“for the record, i have a crush on you, too, dove. please see me again.”
just like that, his words were enough to whisk you away from your acceptance. a wave of euphoria crashed over you; that fine line of joy that shared a boundary with tears rippled with it. you returned his smile and agreed with a calm nod, taking your leave.
that night, you went to sleep under the stars, feeling the ghost of jing yuan’s lips and a renewed sense of hope that you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. you were okay with everything, even if nothing came of what had occurred. regardless of the outcome, you felt you could thank the general in the end.
after all the pain you endured during your delivery, sukuna refuses to ever let his wife go through it again
[a/n: based of that one kdrama clip that i can't find but has always been stuck in my head UGHHH, if you know it sent it to me so i can link it]
11 hours, 34 minutes, and 34 seconds. then 40. then more. sukuna counts them all without meaning to, like something wired too deep into him to stop. each second stretching, dragging, carving itself into his bones as time refuses to move fast enough.
his eyes burn, raw and unforgiving, a kind of ache he’s never known. not even in those long, merciless nights bent over a laptop back in his college days. this is worse. dark circles bruise the skin beneath his eyes, lashes still damp.
he sits rigid in a cheap, dark blue hospital chair, one that creaks every time he so much as breathes too deeply, yet he hasn’t moved from it in hours. maybe longer. his body feels locked in place, but his mind drifts, slipping in and out of a dull haze until the sound of a door jolts him upright again, sharp, alert, feral in the way his gaze snaps toward it. every time without fail. his hands rest on his knees, fingers twitching, trembling despite himself, nails pressing into fabric as if grounding himself is the only thing keeping him together.
the baby is fine. he knows she is. he’s checked too many times for anyone to comment on without risking the look he’d give them. each visit ends the same way: standing on the other side of the glass, large hand pressed flat against it, breath fogging the surface as something unfamiliar tightens in his chest. he doesn’t stay long. he can’t. not when you’re not there.
everything in him had gone cold— no, empty the moment they rushed you away. the world had narrowed down to the sight of you on that bed, face twisted in pain, your fingers clutching his with a strength that spoke of fear you rarely ever showed. and he had felt it too, sharp and suffocating, coiling tight in his chest in a way he couldn’t fight, couldn’t control.
then a clipboard had been shoved into his line of sight, a nurse speaking too quickly. “mr. ryomen, you need to sign this form in case the baby—”
“my wife.”
his voice had cut through hers without hesitation. not loud nor panicked. just final.
for a moment, everything had stilled. even you had looked at him, eyes wide despite the pain. He hadn’t even looked back at the paper.
“i choose my wife.”
after that, they had forced him out, the doors closing between you with a finality that made something ugly claw at his ribs. since then, all he’s done is wait, endless, suffocating waiting, counting seconds like they’re the only thing he has left to hold onto.
people came. of course they did. gojo, loud and insufferable even in a hospital, arms filled with gifts that cost more than necessary. geto, calm, offering congratulations that barely registered. toji lingering off to the side, megumi in his arms as he tried, awkwardly, to show him the newborn through the glass, jin nearby with itadori and choso, their presence filling the hallway with low conversation and quiet excitement.
sukuna acknowledged none of it beyond a glance at best.
because none of it mattered.
not the gifts, not the voices, not the child he had already seen and silently loved.
the only thing on his mind was you.
his wife.
“mr. ryomen?”
his name lands and something in him snaps taut and slack all at once. sukuna is on his feet before he’s fully aware of moving, the chair scraping faintly behind him. the sudden shift makes his vision tilt for a second, exhaustion catching up, but he steadies through it, jaw set, legs carrying him forward even as they threaten to give.
“she’s awake, everything is stable. you may see her now.”
that’s all he needs.
the door barely has time to open before he’s through it, pace quick, bordering on reckless, yet each step feels impossibly heavy as the weight of the past hours clings to him, refusing to let go. the sterile white of the room greets him, too bright, too clean, and then—
you.
everything else falls away.
you’re laid against the stark sheets, small in a way he’s never seen you before, exhaustion carved into every line of your face, the aftermath of something brutal and beautiful all at once. you look fragile. spent. human.
and still— still you’ve never looked more perfect to him.
his chest tightens, something sharp and overwhelming lodging itself beneath his ribs as his eyes lock onto yours. they find him easily, soft despite the fatigue, a faint smile ghosting over your lips as your hand lifts, barely reaching for him.
“my love…” your voice is hoarse, worn thin, and it nearly undoes him.
he closes the distance in seconds, dropping to his knees at your bedside without care for anything else, large hand immediately enclosing yours as if to confirm you’re real, warm and alive. here. he brings it to his face, pressing slow, reverent kisses to your knuckles, your palm, your wrist, lingering like he’s trying to memorize the feel of you all over again.
something wet slips against your skin.
“ryo…?” your voice is softer now, concerned, your fingers twitching as if to pull away, but he doesn’t let go not out of force, never that, but out of something far more desperate.
he tightens just enough to keep you there, head bowed, shoulders trembling in a way that doesn’t belong to a man like him.
“there…” his voice catches, rough, uneven, breath hitching as the memory crashes back; your face twisted in pain, the sound of it, the helplessness of being torn away. his brows pull together sharply, grip faltering for a second before tightening again. “there won’t be another.”
he presses another kiss to your skin, slower this time. like sealing a vow into you.
“there won’t be another,” he repeats, quieter, but no less absolute.
you blink at him, caught off guard, and then despite everythin a soft, breathy laugh escapes you. “don’t be stupid, ryo.”
his head lifts just enough for you to see the way his expression twists, raw and unguarded, eyes rimmed red, lashes clumped.
“i don’t—” his breath stutters, voice breaking in a way he doesn’t bother to hide, “—want to see you like that again.” his hand curls into the sheets beside you, gripping the fabric tight as if grounding himself, “not like that. not ever.”
you soften instantly, both hands coming up carefully to cradle his face, guiding him closer despite the way he resists for half a second.
“did you see her?” you murmur, thumb brushing beneath his eye, catching the dampness there.
he nods, quick, almost eager despite everything, leaning into your touch without thinking. “i did… but—” his voice drops, “i wanted to see my wife.”
“oh, ryo…” you pull him closer, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, then the bridge of his nose, and finally his lips; soft, lingering, tasting faintly of salt.
he exhales against you, eyes closing briefly, forehead coming to rest against yours as his hand finds its place around yours again, unwilling to let go.
“there won’t be another,” he says, quieter now. final.
you study him for a moment. at the fear still lingering beneath the surface, and the love that outweighs everything else, and your expression softens into something certain.
“okay,” you whisper, brushing your nose against his. “there won’t.”
it's 2:49am i should fucking sleep but i finally got the idea how to write this and i had to
i have an itch to write a jing yuan fic real quick! would anyone be willing to read something where he learns reader has a crush on him and he finds all the tells about it adorable and decides to take matters into his own hands/let you know that your “secret” is out and they make out or is that silly? 👀
