Please look at what I sent to @alchemyfire
I didnt even notice this one b4 i turned my anons off in the morning
anyways im going to try and reign myself back in for this one even tho
Yeah I have zero connection to any Robeyette shippers even tho he loves to pretend i do. The only possible “gotcha” Antoine might try to use is that I only started going after him after hearing how badly they were being harassed — and I couldn’t contain myself (ooo so edgy).
He’s doing it on purpose. It’s a classic “us vs them” tactic. He keeps trying to paint everyone who disagrees with him as part of one big conspiracy. It’s ridiculous.
Asking him or any of his friends to actually communicate properly is like asking them to line up and slit their own throats: Their pride wouldn’t survive it.
i don't know if Antoine himself has responded to it (I’m blocked, I don’t care enough to check, and I’m supposed to be logging off anyway), but I'm guessing if he has he's probably cited "Ouu Joachim is just crazy" "he's just irrational" and "we already tried!!"
I’m not even going to deny being irrational or crazy anymore. Over the past two days I’ve been doing a lot of reminiscing, and the difference between how I used to handle conflict and how I’m handling it now is extremely stark: I used to over-explain every tiny detail because I was terrified of being misunderstood, seen as a provoker, or hated. Now I’m not doing that, notably I’m refusing to concede on anything — something the old me would have done in a heartbeat.
If anybody cares (nerd emoji), things have gotten so bad that I’m slipping back into old paranoid habits. I’ve started suspecting even my own boyfriend of secretly siding with Antoine and Aurora. I know it’s completely unfounded and delusional. I’ve accused him, started fights, and given him the silent treatment over things that had zero basis in reality. Poor Joachim, so sad, everybody coddle him...
but the point of saying that is to say that
i'm having micro-psychotic episodes
i know i'm having micro-psychotic episodes
I DON'T CARRRRRRREEEEEEEEE
Whatever I post about Antoine — especially the violent stuff about grabbing him by the scruff and shaking him until he goes limp — I don’t care how it makes me look. I don’t care if they twist it or use it as proof that I’m unhinged, at this point it might actually be better for me, because this seems to be the only way I can get any of their attention!!
Even if your little My Little Pony fantasy of a big group chat actually happened and “miraculously resolved everything,” I’d probably just end up saying something even more crazy the moment I feel unheard and giving Antoine a front-row seat to watch me suffer. Who the hell wants to hand their #1 enemy that kind of satisfaction?
TECHNICALLY. a conversation already happened between me and Aurora (and only Aurora). It consisted with me saying “you’ve really ruined me” and her responding with “well you were a really overbearing friend, here’s everything you did wrong.”
I even had to correct her on basic facts because Antoine had fed her a completely (and I'm sorry but it's the truth) distorted version of events filled with his cynical opinions about why he thinks I (the evil narcissistic manipulator abuser 17 year old) did the things I did: She deleted the whole document shortly after, so I couldn’t even go back and re-read the few reassuring things she said. not saying she had a responsibility to personally assure I was satiated and completely put at ease but come on man — you even sent somebody to harass me into having it:
Look the point is she literally had no reason to delete that document unless she knew there was smth that would corroborate me in there and
this brings me to this next point
I recall I even told Aurora I was sorry for never having believed Antoine when Antoine told me that he was being manipulated by Aurora, because in hindsight; he was correct to feel confused and like he was being toyed with, but I doubt this message was ever relayed because
TBF. Logically I probably owe them a million apologies, eight thousand salams, and ten free massage coupons. But I know what kind of people they are. They’re not negotiating with terrorists and neither am I!!
I refuse empathy for people who are. shall I say. pricks. who think they're always martyrs and will hunt people for sport for voicing a different opinion (<- which isn't relevant to the vast text above but i know this'll be conveniently taken to prove that I'm the one who's "bashing the logical and sane historian")
Should I go on another rant about how badly I want to flay Antoine like a fish, just to reward anyone who actually read this far?
Eh
Anyway, “I wouldn’t get my hopes up for a group chat” is just a fancy way of saying you refuse to admit any fault
anyways like I said this is where I'm gonna leave it because my bfs gonna dunk me like a basketball when he wakes up 🥹 eto blehh
