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@meowonwoos
Judgement nut âšïž This one's to all my Vergil girlies out there đđ©”đŠđ©
i wanted to write for a bit but over the years this just became my reading account oops
HER | part six (m).
â§â synopsis:Â wonwoo, a heartbroken and burnt out writer nearing the end of his math degree, wants nothing to do with the seemingly perfect, intimidating girl who has everyone under her thumb. you. unfortunately, his literary talent has got him shoved him between a rock and a hard place when you want to write a book and require his expertise. you two are the furthest from compatible. wonwoo canât see this going well. at all.
pairing: wonwoo x fem!reader word count: 22.6k genres/tropes:Â writer!wonwoo, university!au, plug!vernon + boyfriend!mingyu as prominent side characters, SLOWBURN (i am not fucking around this is my slowest burn yet), relationship drama, soul searching, strong angst/hurt (iâm coming for the jugular), comfort, romance, smut, a smoothie of every emotion on earth.
(!) warnings: drug use (weed, cocaine, ecstasy), wonwoo has anxiety + anxiety attacks + fairly dark thoughts, prescribed medication, gambling, intense language, infidelity, throwing up.
â§â a/n: just some quick things i want to make apparent!
the fic is told from wonwooâs pov, not the readerâs!Â
all major timeline events are organized through chronological dates
any smut or potentially triggering scenes are NOT MARKED bc the content is already quite mature, so just plz be aware of that!Â
bolded and italicized text implies the characters are conversing in korean, tho it doesnât happen often!
the fic in its entirety is 140k, so it has been split into 6 parts.
here it is... the FINAL part đ it seemed that a number of you were quite worried as to how i'd wrap this up, and i can finally give you the answer! :3 this has been an epic journey. thank yew for ur time đ
more rambling continues at the very end. as per usual. again, a little bit more of an early upload! as a treat <3
âąÂ part one | part two | part three | part four | part five âą soundtrack for those curious! âąÂ read at ur own pace! :)
âSEPTEMBER 30TH.
The morning after was strange.
Early sunlight permeated through the living roomâs white cloth curtains, dappling in water-like speckles against the glasses still held on his nose. For a moment, Wonwoo was frozen, as his mind made the shift from deep sleep to consciousness, though when he finally did awaken to find his blanket half-pushed off the recliner and the remnants of Chinese takeout left scattered across the coffee table, his lethargy started fading.
Vernon was gone.
Judging from the text on Wonwooâs phone, the boy had quietly made his way out at around seven in the morning. It surprised Wonwoo to no end that Vernon could manage to sleep so little yet remain fully functional all the time. He seemed magicâor maybe it was something else that Wonwoo would be concerned to know about.
He spent some time cleaning off the coffee table.
Down the hall, his bedroom door remained closed.
When you finally did emerge, it was with the olive-green dress draped over your arm and the ivory heels in hand, which you proceeded to arrange on the small dining table by the kitchen.
Notably, however, there was something off about you, something that Wonwoo interpreted as nerves with an underlying awkwardness you didnât typically, if at all, demonstrate. When he asked if you wanted breakfast and tea, your response was a tiny head shake and a poorly fit smile. Though, Wonwoo wasnât going to paw at you.
He found that mornings always tended to be quite sobering, even if he hadnât exactly drunk enough to make the room spin or swallowed some colourfully disguised pill on his tongue. Just the air was enough to rewire his headâthat cooler, crisp air that he either loved or hated.
Undoubtedly, you had much to think about.
Wonwoo helped you get a hold of Princess using his phone, and the two of you watched television in silence while waiting for her to pick you up. He escorted you down through the pottery shop when it was time, and you sported very little shame, walking out onto the bright city sidewalk in just his t-shirt, clothes and shoes wrapped in your arms. Princess had this awfully perplexed look slapped onto her face while leaning over to nudge the car door open for you, and in that moment, Wonwoo was scared of how it all appeared and what might transpire now that the giddiness and frivolity from the night before had ebbed away. He didnât regret anything, though. Not at all.
But, in truth, what the fuck even were you two?
And what was supposed to happen now?
âOCTOBER 3RD. Â
Since you had left his apartment in a daze that Saturday morning, Wonwoo hadnât seen or heard from you. It was concerning him as time passed, he couldnât deny it, but he also trusted you and wanted not to make you feel pressured into explaining yourself.
He was caught in a brisk walk along campus after leaving his early lecture, a warm coffee cup pressed against his lip that he had grabbed from the ground floor of SRXâthey had been giving hot drinks away for free, and, consequently, it tasted like it. Nonetheless, the air was chillier by the day as autumn pushed its way in and decorated the walkway with dry leaves that rustled and crunched under his shoes. It was nice to have something hot in his hand.
He took a second to glance down at his phone.
Still, no messages from you, Wonwoo realized with a suckling sip of the very watery coffee, nearly tempted to text you himselfânot anything pushyâjust a simple reassurance that he was there for you if things werenât going well.
Suddenly, however, Wonwoo had smacked into someone.
âFuckâsorry,â he muttered, readjusting the computer bag slung over his shoulder and pushing up his circled glasses.
To Wonwooâs complete and utter misery, he was unfortunately acquainted with the person heâd bumped shoulders, and now he was wishing that he had just kept walking like an impatient asshole.
Seokmin was standing before him, dressed in a similar-style woolen trench coat that his hands were stuffed into, the sun turning certain threads of his chocolate brown hair all shimmery. He hadnât gotten back to Seokminâs numerous texts ever since Wonwoo sent a brief, very purposefully vague message to the boy that night he ran out with you at the dinner party.
Now he was wondering if the shoulder bump was intentional.
âWonwoo⊠uh, hey,â Seokmin stumbled.
Sniffling, Wonwoo let a second or two pass before answering.
He was still debating whether or not to walk away.
âWhatâs up?â
âYou just get out of class, or?â
Wonwoo nodded. âYeahâadvanced stats.â
Seokmin flitted a barely-there smile, staring at his coffee cup.
âIs that the free stuff from SRX?â
âIndeed.â
âHow does it taste?â
âUh, watery⊠like shit, basically.â
Wonwoo knewâhe fucking knewâthat there was something buzzing on the tip of Seokminâs tongue that he just couldnât spit out. His absentminded expression and clear not-giving-a-damness about whether Wonwooâs free coffee was actually good completely betrayed him. Not wanting to dawdle and get stuck in the mud of conversation, Wonwoo swallowed the lump in his throat, flashed his friend a tight-lipped smile, and pitched a goodbye, blandly wording it as, âI wonât keep you. Later.â
But Seokmin didnât seem prepared to let that happen.
And Wonwooâs eyes nearly rolled backward into his skull when the boy turned around and attempted to catch his attention again.
For some stupid, incomprehensible reason, Wonwoo stopped.
Maybe he knew the conversation needed to happen.
It only made him loathe the situation more.
âYeah?â
Seokmin dragged a hand through his hair, brushing it up and down against the back of his head while he squinted at Wonwoo.
âI think⊠uh⊠if youâre not busy⊠I think thereâs maybe some stuff we need to talk about. I donât mean to like, catch you at a bad time or anything⊠do you wanna go sit at the picnic table over there?â
At Seokminâs carefully suggested inquiry, Wonwoo followed the boyâs pointing finger toward the empty table placed on the large grass circle that the walkway wove around. With his grip hardening into the coffee cup, Wonwoo stopped to think despite knowing his answer.
âOkay⊠yeah.â
Wonwoo realized it had never felt this weird and stilted to sit down with Seokmin despite him being quite a reliable friend over the months, though Wonwoo was developing the sneaking feeling that his study buddy was about to deal an irreparable blow to their relationship. Seokminâs folded hands were sitting atop the flecked, aged wood of the table, thumbs nervously twiddling, meanwhile Wonwoo remained silent to sip from his coffee that only became more and more tasteless.
Eventually, his friend seemed to find the words he needed.
âSo, I donât know if youâve heard⊠but⊠Her and Mingyu are taking a break. Theyâre officially pressing the big pause button. I wasnât there to witness the conversation, although I get the gist it was a pretty⊠uh, unpleasant talk,â Seokmin winced, bracing his teeth, âand⊠well, naturally, I learned that you were a big part of that talk, seeing how it looked and allâyou and Her running out at the dinner partyâŠâ
He left what seemed like a purposeful pause, and Wonwoo assumed that he was supposed to feel pressured and jump to make a correction or provide an explanation, but he kept silent and rather expressionless. Ironically, Seokmin was the one to continue his spiel.
âWell, basically, there were some accusations thrown around as you can imagine. And Iâm not sitting here to point a finger and question you to death about everything, but I just thought Iâd give you the tableâuh, literallyâto explain whatâs been happening.â
Wonwoo finally set aside his drink, then shifting off the strap to his computer bag, letting it fall down his shoulder. He didnât make a huge, overwhelmed sigh even though his body was screaming for it, nor did he ponder abandoning the conversation despite the magnitude of everything Seokmin laid out for him.
Fuckâhe hated being matured.
âI canât speak on her feelings. But I like her.â
âOhâyou do?â Seokmin was astonishingly surprised.
Wonwoo shrugged. âYeah.â
âSo, then, does that meanââ
âActually, sorry, Iâm downplaying it like a coward,â Wonwoo interrupted, shaking his head, âI donât just like her. Iâm in love with her.â
It was then that Seokmin simply didnât speak at all. His mouth had formed a hollowed shape, resembling something like a gulping fish, and Wonwoo capitalized on the silence to keep his thoughts fluent.
âI understand, okay? I understand why Mingyu is pissed. It takes two to tango, I get all that. And I know you probably want me to state my regret and all that so I donât seem like such an asshole, but, honestly, I donât really regret anything. Mingyu doesnât care about her.â
Seokmin chuffed, rubbing at his chin. âOkay⊠I donât know if I would go as far as to say that in particular. But you are admitting to it? I donât know what it is youâve done but youâve done things with Her.â
âWeâve never had sex if thatâs what youâre asking.â
âAndââ
âWeâve never kissed, either⊠the only thing I was supposed to do was help her write that little love story. Which you set up, by the way. I didnât know it would turn into this. I tried to get out of it.â
âI never thought she would stick it out.â
âI know.â Wonwoo sucked in his bottom lip, staring across the weathered wood at Seokmin. âYou probably wanted her to drop it the second she mentioned it. I bet Mingyu thought the same.â
Seokmin scrunched up his face in disagreement. âThatâs not necessarily true. She just fixates on stuff and then burns out after. She's always been like that, ever since I've known her. I figured the book would be no different. I thought it was something she needed to get out of her system, I didnât think it would start rolling andââ he leaned forward into his palms for a moment, swallowing audibly. âSorry, I justâI donât get it, thatâs all. I donât get her fixations.â
âI think youâre just uncomfortable with her self-expression.â
âSheâitâs not self-expression, though. Look, I know a pinch of what her story is about. Itâs not about herself. Itâs about Mingyu.â
âYou think that just because sheâs writing about someone else, thereâs no pieces of herself in it? Her own feelings? Her own perspective? Câmon, Seokmin. Youâre fucking smarter than that. You know what it's actually about.â
His friendâs eyes drifted away from him. Â
Wonwoo then cleared his throat. âLook, you donât really need all the details, Seokmin. Like I said, I donât know exactly how she feels about me. I can surmise. I can say weâve had moments that we shouldnât. Butâgenuinelyâyou probably know more than I do and youâre lying to yourself if you canât realize that Mingyu is just some advantageous prick who makes her miserable.â
âWell, I think thatâI donât know if itâs reallyââ
âHe walked into an opportunity with her and he knew it. His whole fucking life and career was basically set up for him the second he met her family. Heâs beyond lucky Her ever looked his way.â
âJeez, Wonwoo. Honestly, itâs not like that.â
âHow is it not?â
Seokmin ran a hand through his hair, appearing flustered and without a tongue to make sense. âJustâokayâIâve been around them a lot. I know how it seems from an outsiderâs view. They can argue and push buttons. Their relationship isnât perfect, but whose is? Mingyu didnât just walk into the family asking for this and thatâheâs never asked for anything, no handouts. Everything thatâs been âset upâ for him was because Herâs family wanted it. They know heâs a good guy.â
The scoff shot from Wonwooâs mouth like an arrow. âIâm sorry but, what do they want for Her? Were we at the same dinner party? Did you see her nearly burst into tears? She has to live life in this rigid box, trying to conform to everyone else around her. Donât you think she wants to live her own life? Be her own person?â
âOf course, butââ
âNoâwhy is there even a âbutâ?â
âI donât think you understand. Her has everything she needs.â
âYou mean, what everyone thinks she needs.â Wonwoo tossed his hand up in the air, laughing, while also getting the strong impulse to ring out his friendâs neck. âIt doesnât make any sense to me. How can you be so close to her, but you donât realize how unhappy she is? You know what I think? Youâre part of it, Seokmin. You're always in her business, hovering, watching, sewing seeds of doubt, shooting down her interestsâand you disguise it as help. No one in that house listens to her. Theyâve told her who she should be instead of letting her figure it out for herself. How can you be so complicit in that? She gets no support from any of you, about the decisions in her life that actually matter. And Mingyuâhonestly, he can go fuck himself. Heâs just as complicit as you. Heâs soul-sucking.â
âGodâsh-sheâs an adult.â Seokmin was exasperated, his cheeks reddening like two ripe apples. âShe doesnât have to visit her parents. She doesnât have to date Mingyu. Nothing is forced on her. No one is dragging her there. I help because I know what she's capable of. I know the perfect life she can have. Her parents know, too. But she just gets sidetracked! She gets wrapped up in stuff that doesn't matter! If she hates everything, she can easily walk away.â
âBut you guys have made that so impossible for her.â
âHow?â
Wonwoo proceeded to clench his fist up so tight he thought his skin might bleed, the edge of his knuckles pressing down on the table.
âShe doesnât know who the fuck she is.â
Seokmin instantly paled. He looked whiter than a snowflake.
âThatâs like clipping a birdâs wings and then asking why it canât fly away. Knowing who you are is such a big part of life. Itâs arguably the foundation. What the fuck do you want her to do? I donât evenâI honestly donât even want to look at you, Seokmin. Let Mingyu beat me up if he wants toâlet it happen a thousand timesââ slinging the computer bag back over his shoulder, Wonwoo was rising from the picnic table while glaring down at the stiff, empty-faced Seokmin, who had suddenly morphed from a friend to a bitter stranger, ââI donât care what he thinks. Itâs not going to change how I feel about her, or make me stay away. Iâve seen who she can be and what she actually wants from life, and it's not some snotty, vapid, copy-and-paste hell that her parents are forcing on her. But neither of you seem to give a shit. Youâre both completely undeserving.â
Stepping away from the bench, Wonwoo tensed his jaw as the sunlight splashed over him, breaking in between the skeletal trees and their resilient orange leaves. âGot everything you wanted to know? Go run it back to Mingyu. Iâm sure thatâs what you were gonna do anyway.â
The anger in his chest felt like it was going to crawl out from his mouth and squeeze Seokmin into a ball, therefore Wonwoo exercised his breathing while on a strict path back down the walkway.
Abandoning Seokmin did hurt him more than he had thought, knowing he just lost a friend from his already very limited circle, someone whom he clicked with so readily. At the same time, however, there was a lightness about it. As Wonwooâs frustration seeped out during the walk back to his apartment, some of the weight pressed into his shoulders released itself like water evaporating from a blacktop.
He just wished he could be at your side more than anything.
There was obviously a reason for your silence.
[ Wonwoo | 11:28 am ]: I heard about the break.
[ Wonwoo | 11:28 am ]: Iâm here if you need anything at all.
âŠ
[ Her | 4:05 pm ]: you talked to seokmin?
[ Wonwoo | 4:07 pm ]: Yeah. Never again.
[ Her | 4:07 pm ]: mingyu is so mad
[ Wonwoo | 4:07 pm ]: I figure.
[ Her | 4:08 pm ]: please avoid him if you can. iâm worried
[ Wonwoo | 4:08 pm ]: Iâm not.
[ Her | 4:08 pm ]: wonwoo heâs seriously pissed
[ Her | 4:08 pm ]: canât you hang out with vernon some more
[ Wonwoo | 4:09 pm ]: Seriously?
[ Her | 4:09 pm ]: yes
[ Her | 4:09 pm ]: mingyu got into trouble with dots and had a real big scare. so he doesnât like to mess much with him or his friends. he'll showboat but that's about it
[ Her | 4:09 pm ]: well ik dots died but u get the point
[ Wonwoo | 4:10 pm ]: Fair.
[ Wonwoo | 4:10 pm ]: But I canât just pull Vernon around as my Mingyu repellent lol. Honestly, if he wants to rock me, idc.
[ Her | 4:10 pm ]: well I do care
[ Her | 4:10 pm ]: ugh
[ Her | 4:11 pm ]: life has been sucking so hard lately
[ Wonwoo | 4:11 pm ]: I want to come see you.
[ Her | 4:11 pm ]: I want that too. but I need more time, k?
[ Wonwoo | 4:12 pm ]: I know.
[ Wonwoo | 4:12 pm ]: Here if you need me.
âOCTOBER 18TH.
For the past two weeks, Wonwoo had been walking around with the looming possibility of getting jumped by your six-foot tall, rather muscley boyfriend, and he was thus very relieved to have made it this far without eating a fist to the face. Well, now Mingyu was an ex.
Maybe.
The pause in your relationship read like a gray area that Wonwoo had been treading the thinnest eggshells on, prompting him to wait and hear the truth from you directly whenever you felt steady enough to tell him. He wondered if today might be that day.
Placing another strawberry onto the cutting board, Wonwoo chopped his knife through the leafy green bit, removing the stem. The cleaned-up strawberry was then dropped into a bowl of fresh ones that you had been picking away at for the past few minutes or so.
Wonwoo smiled while grabbing another berry to cut.
âI feel like this bowl hasnât gotten any fuller, for some reason.â
Your legs were swinging as you sat atop the small kitchen island while looking down at his every movement with the knife. Once he dropped another cut strawberry into the bowl, you scooped it out.
âJust making sure they donât go bad,â you responded, shrugging.
He raised an eyebrow at you. âThe fruit you buy usually goes bad within the minute? Are you getting into a fist fight with it?â
You poked at his hip with your socked foot. âWell, you said you were cutting it for me. So can I eat it or not? Iâm getting mixed signals.â
âNo, of course you can eat it. Iâm just teasing.â
âI donât do too well with delayed gratification.â
Wonwoo smiled at you, proceeding to remove the last few strawberries from the basket to cleanly dissect their stems. He then turned around, tossing the cutting board and knife into the stainless-steel sink with a clatter. After washing his hands, he was back at the island, noticing that the bowl was now seated in your lap like a bag of movie theatre popcorn with just the perfect amount of butter and salt. For a moment, Wonwoo didnât say anythingâthat focused look to your face as you ate the fruit he prepared was much too captivating. He wanted to catch one of your swinging legs, pull you right to the counterâs very edge and have you wrap yourself around him. He wanted everything with you.
In your earlier days together, Wonwoo used to be a lot more evasive about his staring (at least, thatâs what he wanted to believe), but now he didnât feel as required to be so painfully subtle and imperceptible about things. He let you snack until you were satisfied, the empty bowl then being exchanged with a damp rag to clean your fingers.
âSo,â clearing his throat, Wonwoo braced his hands against the granite island and glanced at you from behind his glasses, scanning down the unbothered, relatively straight face you had, âeverything going okay?â
Pressing your lips together, you nodded, making only an âmhmâ sound that didnât leave much to be interpreted.
Wonwoo saw the hands that plunged swiftly between your thighs, how you were quick to squeeze around them, like there existed something weighted and hidden.
He wanted to leave it up to your discretionâhe really did.
âOkay, thatâs good⊠justâuh, heâs not giving you a hard time, right? Heâs not bothering you at all?â Wonwoo asked, adjusting the rim of the black beanie heâd thrown on to keep his messy hair tucked back. âI donât mean to disinter anything. Iâm only asking because Iââ
âBecause you care,â you finished his sentence quietly with a trusting and faint smile, âI know. Thank you. It is hard for me, though⊠I donât know why this particular thing is so hard but it is.â
Wonwoo slid his hands together, moving them slow along the cold granite. âNo⊠thatâs understandable. I get it plenty.â Hellâhe didnât just get itâWonwoo had miserably and insufferably lived it for damn near a year at that point. In fact, tomorrow would mark the day that he came home to this same apartment only to discover the interior stripped of all the traces, sentiments, and artifacts that breathed miraculous life into the girl he once thought to be his other half.
A whole fucking year without Jeanie.
How flipped things were. How oddly coincidental that he was now in the same space but with a new person to create everlasting memories. You had the most opposite personality and spark.
Wonwoo sighed. He got close to you, settling his hand atop your knee before gliding it underneath your thigh, gripping at you firmly and pulling you forward until he was bracketed in between your legs. Your response was smitten, and he couldnât deny that he loved to practically see your heart beating under your chest in addition to sensing the warmth that flourished off your skin like you were sizzling in a pan.
Wonwoo set one hand down on the counter, right next to your hip, while the other tended to the side of your face, his fingers running behind your ear and down the slender path to your silk-smooth neck.
âLookâŠâ he breathed out, finding your eyes that were now a bit watery and tinged with stinging emotion, âI know itâs hard. And I would never rush you into figuring things out⊠but I like youâŠâ Wonwoo swallowed, letting his thumb play with your earring meanwhile his deep voice triggered the sharp, raised hairs spreading down your arms like an electric current, âI love spending time with youâeven just being in the same room as you, getting to stare at youâbut I justâwhen I donât know what you are to Mingyu, I donât know what to do with us.â
You drew in an immediate breath, then releasing a quiet laugh mixed with a runny sniffle. âI-It seems like you knowâŠâ
He pushed both his hands into the countertop, smiling at you.
âWell, I know what I want to doâŠâ Wonwoo murmured, gazing so intimately into your eyes as the oceans he urged to drown in, âbut you have to understand my reservations about it. Thatâs all.â
Bringing a pinky finger to your mouth to nibble on, you nodded.
Softly, he pinched the bare expanse of your waist. You gasped.
âBecause I do, in fact, want you.â
You didnât say anything, although Wonwoo noted that you were staring back into his gaze with so many hues of simple human emotion pulsating behind your eyesâthere was frustration, possibly at yourself and everything you couldnât yet communicate, and twinkles of impulse that matched rhythm with your heart. Then, employing unforeseen abruptness, your fingers were running down the back of his neck all ticklish and he felt the warmth from your breath feather his lips as you moved in closer, smirking at him, hazy like a sunrise pouring its light through a thick cover of morning fog.
âIf you can be patient for just a little longer, you'll have all of me.â
Thankfully (or maybe not so thankfully judging from the pure adrenaline coursing through his veins in a hedonistic, addictive sort of way) there were a few knocks at his door.
Your eyes rolled. âIs that your landlord or something?â
Wonwoo took a step back, letting you slide off the countertop while he adjusted his glasses and brushed down his t-shirt. How were you suddenly so casual? One second you were chewing nervously on your finger with the timidness of a newborn doe and the nextâback to your typical self. He watched you approach the door, tilting his head.
âUh, maybe? She usually texts me, though.â
âOr Seokmin with a batch of chocolate apology brownies.â
He chuckled, folding his arms. âDoubt it.â
Really, Wonwoo had no idea who it could be. It possibly was his landlord who had perhaps forgotten her usual warning text, or maybe his younger, sometimes irresponsible neighbour across the hall who would specifically ask to borrow his scent-free laundry detergent every now and then. As long as it wasnât Lady Liberty on the other side (in Vernonâs tried and true nicknaming spirit) then Wonwoo had no reason to care.
âWelp,â you made a balmy, popping sound with your lips, âonly one way to find out. I think I can smell the chocolate.â But once the door was pulled open, that little joking smile fell from your face concerningly fast, as though someone had plucked it right off.
FuckâWonwoo thought right off the cuffâit was Lady Liberty.
Your head quirked ever so slightly. âUh, helloâŠâ
Whoever the person was, they were just outside the threshold of what Wonwoo could see from his spot in the kitchenâexcept, now he didnât think it was Mingyu at all, since your tone seemed more confused than anything else.
For a moment, Wonwoo just stood where he was, not particularly understanding why he couldnât even twitch a measly finger.
âHiâIâm sorry, is this theâis thisâdoes Wonwoo still live here?â
From across the room, you shifted him a glance.
There was a heavy pause before you answered.
â⊠Yeah.â
âO-Oh, well⊠um⊠Iâm so sorry, but are you living here as well? Is he home? I donât mean to bother or anything. I guess I came by on a whim. Itâs a little hard to explain⊠I can always come back later.â
At that point, Wonwoo was making his way beside you.
That voiceâthat delicate wispy voice, lighter than a tuft of cotton adrift through the breeze under a salt blue skyâthere was such a familiarity about it that he was getting dizzier by the second. Your jaw was distinctly clenched as Wonwoo stopped at your side.
He took one look into the hallway and damn near fainted.
âWhat the fuckâŠâ Wonwoo whispered, his mouth suddenly stark of moisture as he lifted a hand to grab the doorâs edge, âJeanie?â
âUh, hey, Wonwoo.â
Waitânever mind, never mindâhe panicked. Maybe he did want it to be Mingyu. In fact, Wonwoo would have anticipated Bohyuk showing up outside his door, or his parents, or his girlfriend of two weeks back in sixth grade who broke up with him over a juice box before he could guess that his ex who disappeared without a trace would be there.
It sounded borderline insane, but Wonwoo almost wanted to poke her just to test if she was even real. She looked real. She sounded real. You didnât seem to be staring into empty space while side-eyeing him worriedly, rather you had very much acknowledged her. Wonwooâs grip fastened to the door, then realizing he was using it as a personal crutch to keep him upright as his legs slowly regained their rigidity and strength. He also realized that you likely had no idea who she was until her name had been distantly tugged from his lips by his instincts.
Jeanie splayed out her hands in a demonstration of submission.
âIf itâs a bad time, I can come back laterâŠâ
Wonwoo noted that you had taken a step away from the door, although you continued to stare at Jeanie with a countenance that refused to spoil muchâit seemed inquisitive and curious but still hardenedâthe moment was probably overwhelming you, too.
He gulped dryly, flicking his eyes back to her. âUh, well, I wasnât evenâyouâre like, the last person I would expect to see andââ
âItâs okay. Iâll leave.â
Jerking back to you, Wonwoo nearly gave himself whiplash.
âHerâyou donât need toââ
But you shook your head.
Grabbing the cream purse off the couch and slipping back into your comfortable, clean white tennis shoes, you seemed eager to go while simultaneously jaded at the circumstances.
âNo, donât worry about it,â you stopped in front of Wonwoo, adjusting the strap wove around your shoulder, âthis seems important, so⊠I donât want to stand in the way of anything⊠Iâll see you later, âkay?â
Then, you turned to Jeanie, sticking out your hand. âNice to meet you.â
She looked to Wonwoo for a split second.
âUm, yeah, you as wellâŠâ Jeanie eventually accepted the handshake, sounding breathy with nerves, âsorry about all this.â
While making your way to the staircase, Wonwoo quickly stepped into the corridor and waved at you, feeling his chest tighten.
âIâll call you, okay?â
You flashed a transient smile. He hated watching you leave.
Jeanie was watching you, too, hands politely folded at her abdomen, bunny rabbit teeth digging at the skin of her ruby-stained and calloused lips. She had always been a chronic lip-biterâanxiety, thrill, or stress, Wonwoo vividly remembered the blisters she absentmindedly inflicted unto herself from the bad habit, similar to the scars marking the cuticle of his thumb. After a year Jeanie looked different no doubt, but she also reflected an unchanged image through her conserved, fidgety behaviours. She was shy like a budding flower kept just short of the sun.
âAre you okay if I come in?â Jeanie mumbled, hardly able to maintain eye contact with Wonwoo for no more than a second or two.
He stepped back, beckoning indoors.
âYeah⊠thatâs fine, I guess.â
âLooks pretty nice in hereâŠâ she remarked soft-spokenly, taking a moment to marvel the space she once came home to every day, although she couldnât seem more like a stranger to the apartment even if she triedâlike a magazine cutout slapped onto a novel.
Wonwoo rubbed under his nose. âWell⊠I make due.â
Her hair used to be a symmetric, blunt length with her chin, but she had clearly grown it out over the months. The black tresses thrived in long and loose ribbons down her back, shinier than sea glass polished by rough waves. She was never one to wear much makeup eitherâtrimming her eyebrows, glossing her lips, and flicking on some mascara was all she really ever cared to do, and Wonwoo remembered being in love with her simplicity.
Jeanie proceeded to walk behind the couch, squeezing the back in her hands. She was so tiny. That hadnât changed much. He could only stand in one place, keeping still, examining her every movement and fighting against the trillions of voices clawing to his mindâs surface.
âFeels strange to be in here,â she laughed, running her fingers along the couchâs fabric, staring around the space, âI think it definitely has more of your touch now⊠it was nice to see Saskia again, too.â
âYeah.â
She stopped on him. âYou look well. Healthy.â
Wonwoo squinted at her. âWhy are you here?â
He didnât say it in a rude, impatient way. Genuinely, Wonwoo wasnât angry with her, not like he might have been a few months ago.
But he was confused and feeling increasingly anxious. You were gone, probably on your way back home, though Wonwoo wished you hadnât left at all, even if it were to make things sticky and awkward. Your presence in a room was the comfort he badly, painfully missed.
âSure,â Jeanie cleared her throat, âIâll explain. Care to sit?â
Together, they nestled onto the couch.
Wonwoo was kept to one end while Jeanie sat more in the middle, pulling at the long, flowy hem of her fern-patterned blue dress.
He tugged at the rim to his beanie, waiting for her to speak.
The girl gripped onto her knees, poised a soft, gentle look in his direction while taking in a breath. Their nerves seemed to be coalescing like different colours bleeding from freshly soaked paintbrushes. If anxiety were personified into butterflies, the room would start fluttering.
âI guess I thought it was time. Taking a shot in the dark, I know. I didnât know if you would still be here, but I got luckyâŠâ she clutched at her dress, fingers pulling into the airy material. âWonwoo, itâs not like I donât think about you, or wonder about you. I know what I did, how much it hurt⊠then I wasnât sure if Iâd be able to come back to here, with you. But I processed it all and it became an itch I had to scratch.â
Puffing out through his nose, Wonwoo almost laughed.
âYeahâyou wanted to see if I, what? Threw myself off the building or persevered, becoming some big money writer?â
Jeanie blinked at him a few times, furrowing her neat, straight brow, with every hair gelled down perfectly in place.
Wonwoo shook his head, lifting out his hand.
âOkay, my bad. That sounded like such an asshole thing to say.â
âNo, itâs okay. I get it.â Her cheeks flooded with a tide of rosy pink as she chuckled. âI-I just⊠well, you seem different now.â
He pushed up his glasses. âYou think?â
âYeah.â
âIn a good or bad way?â
Jeanie clasped her hands together, thumbs tapping.
âWell, I guess you seem more... upfront, not as prevaricating. Maybe thatâs how youâve always been and I just never really saw it or you picked it up from someone else.â
Wonwoo shrugged. âProbably a bit of both.â
âI am sorry. I know it was all so⊠sudden. I know this is sudden. I thought about calling... my hands would just shake so much whenever I picked up the phone, getting all sweaty and stuff. It felt like something that I had to just do. And, well, once I was back in the area, I didnât even want to lend myself time to dwell. I only came in yesterday.â
âYou went back home, then?â
âI did.â
âI figured⊠well, I got the hint pretty clear when your mom sent me that email. It was only a sentence or two long, but it hurt like hell.â
âItâs what I asked her to send. Itâs all I felt you needed to know.â
âYeah, I get that.â
Jeanie sighed, âI feel warranted in what I did⊠even so, I-I think I owe you an apology. Because, well, you were and still are someone I regard highly. You were going through something pretty serious⊠I mean, itâs obvious youâre taking such better care of yourself.â
 âIt definitely hasnât been linear.â
Tucking some hair behind her ear, the girl smiled. âWell, what in life really is? It only feels that way when youâre going straight down.â
He hmphed, thinking. â⊠Yeah. Really though, donât worry about it. An apology isnât necessary. Youâve always been too gracious.â
âI-I guess⊠but, I think it is, sinceââ
âJeanie, câmon. Itâs really not. I was dragging you down.â
âWonwoo, I feel likeââ
âIâm telling youââ
âWell, Iâm telling you and it would mean a lot if you just let me speak and get this off my chest. Please. Then you can have the floor. Tell me to package it all back up. Whatever it is you have to say. But I spent our entire relationship just listening and trying to understand you and interpret all your vague signals when I should have been trying to understand myself, and what I wanted. Iâm not the verbose type, I know that. Going off on longwinded tangents about my feelings has never been something that suits me but Iâm here now and I owe it to the girl who just sucked it all up, all the time, trying to be this perfect girlfriend for you.â
He managed a long, introspective breath.
Fuckâhe really did owe her that. He owed her so much more.
â⊠Okay,â Wonwoo nodded complicity, âyouâre right.â
âLeaving was the very last thing I wanted. I swear it. I agonized over the choice every day. But you didnât even notice. Thatâs when I knew it was more than bad, and whatever it was you were going through was just pulling you down so deep, like a whirlpool. Itâs like⊠I would talk to you, and there was no one inside. When I felt like you needed space, I gave you space. When I felt like you had something hard to say, I would sit with you all day, trying to ease it out, waiting for you to say it.
When you seemed so angry at yourself and everything around youâI-I donât knowâI tried to be the best thing for you. But I was hitting wall after wall. Sometimes I wonder how much of it was my fault. If I had just been upfront about my feelings then maybe things would have been⊠well, you know, different. I guess I never did say much because it seemed like the last thing you needed to hear, like I would be adding to your already massive collection of burdens. You have to understand, I felt trapped, Wonwoo. Like I was in a glass box or something.
I was decaying from the inside out. If I didnât leave, if I didnât make that split second decision to phone up my mom and tell her everything that morning you left for workâthen maybe we would have gotten even worse. Maybe we would have just drowned. I donât know. Iâm⊠glad, relieved, happier than ever, that I donât know what might have happened. And now that it seems weâre both⊠whole⊠I feel like an apology is just a way for me to say that if I had the steel to speak for the both of us, maybe we could have spared so much pain in between.â
Jeanieâs doe eyes twinkled with tears. âI thought that being apart might heal us both⊠I-I did it âcauseâin essenceâI did it because I cared, Wonwoo. About you. So deeply. But I also needed to start caring about myself, too.â
The corners of his mouth flitted in an unbridled smile toward the girl, his gaze admiring how the evening sunlight warmed up her cool-toned skin and shimmered through her strong, healthy hair.
âI know,â Wonwoo finally answered. âIâve known for a while.â
Jeanie stayed for about an hour longer, until the sky started darkening. Together, they filled each other in on the breakages in each otherâs distant lives, like a spider reweaving a gash through its cobweb. He was pleased to learn that she was doing quite well for herselfânow moved out from her family house and living with her younger sister, Jeanie held true to pursuing her ambition of managing the library she had always adored coming to during her childhood (he remembered it specifically as âthe one with the bean bag corner and the giant toy crate with the giraffe.â)
Wonwoo felt he didnât have much to say regarding himself, however, he had plenty to say about you.
Rubbing at a strand of her hair, Jeanie nodded. âYeah, I remember Her. Sheâlikeâshe did scare me a bit⊠I donât knowâshe really seemed to know what she was doing. I was a little envious of that. And she had really great style. She could pull anything off. She came in looking for a textbook one time, but I made my co-worker help her instead. I think I was too nervous to talk to her.â
Wonwoo had his legs stretched out onto the coffee table, hands settled on his stomach. Itching at his eyebrow, he smiled. âI probably would have done the same, back then. Honestly though, sheâs nothing like what she seems. I can promise you that.â
Jeanie was quiet for a moment, adjusting the legs tucked up underneath herself. âSo⊠you two are⊠youâre dating?â
âNo⊠itâs weird. I wish.â
âI recognized her when she opened the door. I was pretty confused since⊠of all the people that you could have over⊠she seemed like the most unlikely candidate. I-I mean, Iâm not saying that you could neverâIâm not saying that it could never happenââ
He tilted his head at Jeanie, grinning slyly. âNo, just say it. You didnât imagine Iâd ever even be able to talk to someone like her.â
The girlâs face flushed. âWell, youâre quite the opposites.â
âIn some ways.â
âI donât think sheâd like me.â
Wonwoo pursed his lip in disagreement. âThatâs not true. To be fair, youâve ever only got to see one side of her. Sheâs trying to figure shit out just as much as we are. You never really stop, I suppose.â
He felt Jeanieâs gaze still on him for a few seconds, her mouth twitching into a delicate, sincere smile made brighter by her eyes. âSo⊠you figure sheâd like me? Even if she knew all the details about us? How rough it all was?â
Wonwoo crossed his arms, staring back toward her confidently. âI figure sheâd probably like you more than me, actually.â
8:28 pm
âHey, thanks for picking up.â
âOh, no big deal. You called me at a good time. I was just about to start my skincare and I would have needed to sit for fifteen minutes doing absolutely nothing in a slimy face mask.âÂ
âSounds fun.â
âIâm guessing your conversation is over and done with.â
âYeah. She only left like, five minutes ago.â
âAnd you didnât want to sit alone in your bedroom contemplating the universe for an additional hour with all the blinds drawn? Woah. Wonwoo, I am impressed. Finger snaps.â
âFinger snaps.â
âSo⊠am I allowed to know how the whole thing went or did you just call me to hear the sound of my voice?â
âBoth. But mostly to hear your voice.â
âOkay. Enlighten me then.â
9:45 pm
âAnyway⊠yeah. The conversation went well. I still canât believe she actually came back to see me. Like, what a mindfuck, you know?â
âThat took a lot of courage from her part.â
âYeah, it did. Makes me proud, though. To hear her actually speak her mind. She really was just trying to be the best possible person for me and the only thing that got her is heartbreak. Sheâs putting herself first, now. Sheâs spending a couple days in the city with her sister.â
â⊠Do you think that youâll want to see her again?â
âI donât know. Do I need to?â
âDo you?â
âNo. I mean, donât get me wrong, as much as it was a shock to see her again, there was great closure in it. If she had come to see me way sooner, no way would I have been open to itâI probably would have freaked the fuck out and had an anxiety attack or some shitâbut I feel way better about everything now. I felt like I understood her choices, kinda like I was the one making them... but, you know, weâre evolved people at this point. Weâve veered onto two separate paths, neither one being greater than or less than the other⊠just different.â
âRight.â
âWe just wished each other well.â
âNo, thatâs great. You put a bow on it. I just didnât really know what the whole thing was gonna entail⊠so, yeah, I had gotten kinda worried⊠likeâonce I knew it was herâI thought she looked so perfect for you. You two just made immediate sense in my mind. Sheâs got such a sweet voice, and the kind, shy personality that everyone always adores. I think if you stuck her in a room with me, sheâd hate my guts.â
âHaâJeanie hates no oneâs guts. Sheâs got no room in her heart for that kind of stuff. You two are different for sure, but I think thatâs what would make you interesting and attractive to each other.â
âReally?â
âYeah. If it makes you feel any better, she didnât think youâd like her either. But I told her youâd probably like her more than me.â
âWhat! She actually thought that? I mean, maybe I seemed a little damp when I left, but that was just my mind on overdrive.â
âNeed me to arrange a date between you two?â
âHaâshe did have a great perfume on. Maybe ask about that.â
âWell, I will if I see her.â
âShe doesnât know about the book you were writing for her, does she? I canât believe thatâs been sitting on your laptop all this time.â
âNo, she doesnât. I used to sit there and stare at it every day, but I donât think Iâve even opened the damn document in months⊠since I met you, my mind has gradually moved away from it, I guess. I think now itâs more of an effort thing. All the time I put into it. Itâs like, if I delete it, Iâm deleting that time from my life⊠does that even make sense?â
âYeah, I know what youâre saying.â
â⊠Did you ever finish your book for Mingyu? I know you wanted it done before your anniversary in December. It seemed like you were on track to have it done quite early, with all that time you gave yourself.â
âI did finish it, actually.â
âNo fucking wayâthatâs a big accomplishment.â
âYeah. Now Iâve just gotta decide what to do with it.â
âNOVEMBER 3RD.
Wonwoo was fairly surprised that Princess had invited him to her birthday dinner at Terra Cotta. At one point, he wasnât certain where he stood with your closest friend, even if his relationship with her presented itself as amicable on the surfaceâhe always thought that maybe deep down, Princess really did despise him. Then Wonwoo wondered if you had nipped at the birthday girl into inviting him, although that didnât seem like something in your character.
Through all his fretting, thumb-scraping, and late-night pondering in the shower, Wonwoo eventually came to the conclusion that was probably the simplest and most accurate: Princess just liked him.
A call from Vernon came through right as Wonwoo was getting into bed last week, to which the rambling boy had impetuously thrown out, âyeah, I got an invite to Herâs best friendâs birthday dinner or somethinâ like thatâwhat was her name again? Penelope? The sexy dark skin girl with the braids? Anyway, I told her Iâd love to go, but Iâm gonna be out of town for a few days in November. Said I could hook her up with a couple MDMA bombs, though. Yâknow, as a gift.â
Thus, that concluded the story of Wonwoo having to sit at a rather large and reserved candlelit table in an expensive, esteemed restaurant, surrounded by some friends and strangers alike, with a plastic baggie of hard drugs shoved into his pants pocket that he couldnât stop worrying about. Vernon had wanted him to leave it with Princess when appropriate. Most people invited were going to the club later in the nightâRoom 319âwhich he figured could only be survived by going buckwild off ecstasy. As his knee continued to ricochet underneath the tablecloth, Wonwoo was soothed by your hand sliding over his thigh.
You gave him a solicitous glance, smiling with care. âWhy donât I just put it in my purse?â The offer was whispered amongst the conversation.
Wonwoo couldnât help but flit his eyes around the table, ensuring no one was giving his general direction a lick of attention. The waiters and waitresses would pop from the blue every now and then with bottles that seemed glued to their hands, scouring for anyone who needed a top up on alcohol. His glass had been seldom touched for the past half-hour.
He sighed, shaking his head. âNo, itâs fine.â
âWonwoo,â you deadpanned at him.
âItâs fine.â
âOh my Godâjust give me it. Itâll take me two seconds to dig it out from your pocket and shove it in my damn purse. Besides, I canât enjoy myself when the anxiety is emanating off you in waves.â
His knee immediately stopped jerking. Wonwoo looked you straight in the eyes, the stiffness turning him into straw. âIs it really?â
âYes!â You laughed quietly, your head hunkering down on his shoulder for a brief moment. âNow, give me it please. Pretty please.â
Sliding a hand into the smooth pocket on his pants, Wonwoo began fishing out the small plastic baggie while puffing, âfuckâalright.â
âGosh,â he heard you mumble while discreetly taking the capsules from him, rustling them into your purse, âyou could never be a drug dealer, could you? How are you even friends with Vernon? That dude probably walks around with sample sizes taped to his jacket.â
âItâs different.â
âIs it?â
âYeah,â Wonwoo was finally able to roll out his shoulders and relaxâeven give you a humorous little smirk, âI have a way better chance of escaping the drug dogs than he does. Iâll get a nice head start.â
His thigh was met with a slap before your hand pulled away. âIâm acting like I donât know either of you.â
To be fair, Wonwoo couldnât picture his bad-mouthed, fairly uncouth friend in a snotty establishment like Terra Cotta, especially considering his ideal places to eat were twenty-four-hour diners and cereal pantries belonging to girls whom heâd just slept with. The restaurant was no doubt beautiful, though it was definitely for the upper echelons who could not only afford it, but also act the pleasant, opulent guise.
At least the table that Princess reserved was a bit more separated from the other tables in the restaurantâit was close to a waterfall built into the wall, encompassed by all sorts of burnish-looking smooth stones.
Neither Seokmin or Mingyu were at the dinnerâtwo absences that no one seemed to be questioning. To Wonwoo, that was a gigantic reliefâhe assumed you felt the same. Clara was there, seated further down the table, but Bells wasnât. Seungcheol was an obvious guest, and besides you, he was the person that Wonwoo had spoken to the most since arriving at the restaurantâheâd even given Wonwoo the slip on his secret gift for his girlfriend, which was a two-week vacation to the Bahamas after the winter exam season.
Wonwoo was a little jealous.
He would love for you and him to vacation somewhere.
Maybe even take you back to South Korea.
âSo, you guys,â Princess had started a conversation with you and Wonwoo from across the table, hands folded underneath her chin while she smiled kindly between you, âthink youâll come to the club after?â
You pouted at her, âweâre passing, babe. A million sorries.â
âAwe, thatâs okay.â She reached across the pristine tablecloth to lay her hand over top yours. âYou already took me out for my birthday, anyway. And let me vomit in your washroom for two hours.â
âMmhm. Youâd do the same for me.â
Princess giggled, her grin luminous and wholly genuine. âOh, of course. I have already done it!â
âWell, youâll have to tell me all about Room 319. The stories Iâve heard about that placeâsounds like some shit from a movie.â
âTrust me, youâll get the entire script in a bound book. I know the club thing isnât for everyoneâthatâs why I did the dinner. And Iâm doing cupcakes instead of cake! Remember those red velvet cupcakes we had that one night? And then that other night? FuckâI couldnât stop thinking about those damn things.â
âOh, those were fucking delicious.â
âDe-licious. Have you ever got to try one, Wonwoo?â
He swallowed, a bit jarred to be welcomed into their conversation that he had been happily listening to from the sidelines.
âI tried one. I liked it.â
Princess gasped at him. âOnly liked? Be serious!â
âWell, ask me again later tonight. I wasnât having it fresh.â
âI will be asking. Howâs Vernon? Iâm sad he couldnât make it.â
âOh, heâs fine. Sometimes he just mysteriously disappears from town for a couple daysâI donât ask because I donât want to know. But, uh, he did leave me with a gift for you⊠if you didnât already know.â
âOh⊠oh! Right!â Princess straightened up, nodding. âYeah, I remember. You can give it to me when we leave. Outside.â
âI have it actually,â you clarified, flickering a transient look at the tiny purse you had moved onto the table, âwhen we take a girlâs trip to the washroom, you can have it. The dose is pretty high. I know I donât have to worry about you and this stuff, but be careful, yâknow?â
âOf course. Just make sure you hide the purse in your lap when the waiter comes back. They love offering to take bags and satchels and all that stuff to hang in the coat room.â After clearing her throat with a sip from her pink, frothy champagne, Princess curiously poked at you two. âSo, how do you guys plan to spend the rest of your night?â
Wonwoo opted not to speak.
You grabbed your wine glass, swirling the aromatic alcohol around inside while shrugging. âNot sure. Itâs chilly out. Hope you donât freeze your tits off standing outside in the mile long line for the club.â
âThatâs what this push-up is for. The paddingâs so toasty warm.â
Laughing with Princess, you ended up snorting.
Seungcheol, who was sat beside his girlfriend and had been occupied in speaking to a friend Wonwoo forgot the name of, finally parted from his conversation, turning his head at the last second to hear the giggling.
âPush-up? What are you guys talking about?â
You shook your head. âNothingâjust her bra.â
âOh,â Seungcheol mumbled, âwhat about her bra?â
Princess smiled. âJust that with all this padding itâs got, itâll keep me nice and warm when Iâm waiting outside. Perfectly insulated.â
Rubbing a thumb and index finger along his jaw, Seungcheol grinned all relaxed-like while Princess rolled her dark brown eyes at his comment, the gold accents in her inner corners glimmering.
âI bet my hands would be a lot more efficient. Nothing warmer than skin on skin as they say.â
She shoved his shoulder half-heartedly. âWho says that? Now, bedroom eyes away before I make you wear a bag over your head.â
âI donât see a bag here.â
âAs the birthday girl, Iâm pretty sure I can request one.â
The dinner officially wrapped up around ten at night. Wonwoo was able to reaffirm with Princess that the red velvet cupcakes were indeed moist and delicious. As everyone stood right outside the restaurant in the nippy, cold November weather, giving hugs and farewells to those who werenât clubbing, he made sure to wish Princess probably the twentieth happy birthday sheâd heard that night. He waited for you to give her another speech about staying safe but still having fun, sprinkled with lots of âI love youâsâ and inside jokes that Wonwoo wondered if he would ever understand, before you two left on your own.
Each time he spoke, his breath would come to life in a warm wisp from his mouth, meanwhile the streets lights reflected in the melted snow all over the sidewalk he aimlessly wandered down, with you sticking close to his side. It hadnât been a heavy snow, at least.
âBe honest,â you said, glancing toward Wonwoo, âhow relieved are you that weâre not going to the club? On a scale of one to ten.â
âIs ten the most relieved?â
âYeah.â
He looked at you, completely unabashed. âTen.â
Kissing your teeth, you nodded. âThatâs what I expected.â
âSo,â Wonwoo hummed, stopping beside you at the intersection while waiting for the crosswalk light to change, âwhat now?â
Your eyebrows raised. âStill want to do something?â
As the cars whipped past, throwing up brisk winds and exhaust into the twinkling city atmosphere, Wonwoo shrugged. âThe night is young.â
âWhat's on your mind?â
âWeâre not far from Centertown. Itâs maybe a fifteen-minute walk or so at this point. Thereâs a bar there I want to try. The Honeymoon.â
He was glad you didnât seem opposed.
âSure. Iâm down.â
Once the crosswalk was open and the floods of people started pressing forward, there was somebody who passed themâsomebody who almost went completely unnoticed by Wonwoo until his memory reloaded and he suddenly found himself pausing to observe over his shoulder.
You pulled at his sleeve. âWhat?â
âUh, nothing,â Wonwoo replied, wetting his dry lips while heeding your polite tug, âthe woman that passed usâsheâs dressed exactly like this prostitute that Vernon told me he saw last winter, hanging outside Room 319. She has the heels and everything.â
âWhat the fuck. Really?â
âMmhm,â he laughed, âhe called her Pink Heels Lady. To be honest, I thought he was lying⊠but Iâm pretty sure that was her.â
âSpooky. Coincidence or fate, do you think?â
Wonwoo glanced at you, seeing the intrigued smile on your face.
âI donât know, actually,â he responded after the question hovered around in his mind for an oddly long second, deciding to pick up your hand in is, âI assume itâs just the universe working its magic.â
Wonwoo was never particularly into bars, although he could tolerate them much more than a club despite their parallels. The seedy lighting, deafening music, and signature throw-up gutter in the street or alleyway right outside the building was crucial to both, he had realized.
The Honeymoon was a newer bar that had garnered some notable buzz. It was less like a pub, being slightly more formal with a touch of modernity that had landed it just below presumptuous, in Wonwooâs opinion. At least the music wasnât overbearing, nor was there intoxicated, flush-faced men hollering at sports teams on televisions that would never hear them. You decided to sit at the counter, sliding onto the heightened chairs and leaving your jackets draped over the low backs.
You bristled, shaking out your shoulders. âIâm cold.â
Wonwoo cupped his hands overtop your icy cheeks for a moment, allowing some of his warmth to seep into your skin.
âA drink will fix that right up.â
âHow are your hands hotter than mine? Youâre always freezing.â
He smiled at you, letting you have your face back. âI can warm them up at will to your benefit.â Wonwoo joked, bumping his knee against yours. âWhat do you think of the place?â
Your lip pursed as you glanced around, examining the bartenders filling up glasses with their silvery, shiny spouts, and then over your shoulder at the numerous other tables occupied by the cityâs strangers. For a frigid November night, it was quite full.
âItâs nice. The lighting is pretty. Reminds me of Alley Cat.â
âOh, yeah. Vernon took me there once to celebrate my exams being done, then he got into a fist fight with this university student over something I canât rememberâsmashed a glass on the dudeâs head.â
Predictably, your eyes rolled. âOnly Vernon is getting into fist fights at Alley Cat.â
Wonwoo chuckled. âWell, now he canât get into fist fights there at allâmanagement banned him and the other guy. Apparently, theyâve got this back wall of people whoâve been kicked out and heâs on there.â
âFigures,â you sighed.
âOh my gosh! Wonwoo? Itâs you!â
At the sound of his name being excitedly called, Wonwoo was soon met with the surprised but cheerful expression coloured to Sierraâs freckled face. He hadnât forgotten that she worked there, but he was clueless about her schedule. She looked very pretty, glowing in a halo almost, with her coarse, reddish-brown hair pulled back slick into a ponytail and a crisp, clean black uniform tailored to fit her perfectly.
Wonwoo grinned. âHey there. I didnât know you worked tonight.â
Sierra set one hand onto the lacquered wood counter while the other stuck to her hip. âI donât usually. Fridays are game nights with my little sister. But there was a call-in. A little extra cash never hurt.â The girlâs big, round eyes then flitted to you. âHer, right? I donât think weâve ever met formally. I know youâre one smart cookie, though.â
âIâd like to think so,â you answered, smiling back at Sierra, âyou were at the party, werenât you? The one Seungcheol threw this summer?â
She nodded, âI was. I made a few drinks here and there.â
âI never got to taste one,â you frowned, pouting.
Throwing up her hands, Sierra was quick to exclaim with her typical charisma and sugar sweetness, âwhat! Preposterous! I think Iâm pretty wicked at it. What are you thinking of having?â
âTo be honest, Iâm not looking for anything too fancy at the moment. In fifteen minutes from now, I wonât be able to promise the same. Iâd like to start off with a rum and coke, if thatâs alright. For now.â
Sierra grinned. âNo, thatâs perfect. What about you, Wonwoo?â
He shrugged. âIâll have the same. For now.â
âWell, for now, Iâll start you guys off with two rum and cokes.â
Leaning his elbows onto the countertop, he threw her a question.
âHowâs it going with Carmen?â
While she prepared the drinks, Sierra blossomed into a smile. âOh, itâs going great. Sheâs genuinely a blast. Weâre going to the movies next weekâthat horror one is coming out, about the swimming poolâwe think itâs gonna suck but thatâs what makes it fun.â
Once Sierra slid you the cold glass, you tilted your head at her while fixing your lips around the black straw. âWhoâs Carmen?â
âMy girlfriend.â Sierra answered. âWe met here, actually.â
âUgh, no way,â you swooned, pressing a cheek into your hand as the next drink was given to Wonwoo, âthatâs so fucking adorable. Does she ever tell you how beautiful you look in that all-black uniform?â
Giggling, Sierra wiped down the countertop and flushed. âIâve heard it many times. Itâs honestly just a t-shirt and slacks!â
âWell, youâre making it work.â
âPleaseâmy face is heating up! Youâve got quite the gorgeous dress on yourself, you know. I always wonder where you get all your clothes. Wonwoo, have you complimented her yet, tonight?â
Mixing the ice cubes together to hear the satisfying clinks using his straw, he answered easily. âIt was the first thing out of my mouth.â
Sierra nodded in satisfaction. âGood! Well, I wonât hover. But if you need any refills or have any questions, you can try to flag me downâor ask Jamie! Sheâs just down there. Sheâs great at martinis. Later!â
Once Sierra had left to busy herself with tending to others waiting service at the counter, you looked to Wonwoo, lips downturned.
âJeez, sheâs so freaking nice. How come I donât have that kind of natural charm? Not that Iâm not charming. But hers is so⊠magnetic.â
âEveryoneâs got their natural quirks.â
âYeah, well, my natural quirk is that Iâm probably going to down this in the next two minutes. And then have three more after that.â
Wonwoo rubbed a hand to your shoulder, smirking into the glass that he raised to his mouth. âJust focus on the one you have now.â
3 more rum and cokes (+ 1 martini) later.
âNo, noâbut then, it gets even worse! Because not only had she been lying straight to his face the entire time, so was his best friend! They were seeing each other for weeks and weeksâhe had no idea. What gave it away though, was the perfume. He was always telling her not to wear heavy perfumes and stuff because it will leave a scent on the sheets, but she messed upâso they freaked it, she spends the night, and then the next day when heâs over, he goes into his friendâs room looking for a charger and smells the perfume on the sheets! He puts it together! And then, and thenââ
You paused, picking up the wide-mouthed martini glass to take a sip in the midst of your long-winded and passionate adultery story that Wonwoo had been struggling to follow for the past blurred time interval, the names now completely lost on his ears. There was hardly anything left in your glass, which led to your frustrated grumble, followed by an attempt to flag down the bartender, Jamie.
However, Wonwoo swiftly caught your hand despite his own impaired state, lowering it back to the countertop.
âOkay, I think thatâs enough.â He pushed forward the cup of water he requested for you. âThe least you can be right now is hydrated.â
Although you werenât happy about his thwarting, you did yield to the advice and drink some of the water. Wonwoo knew he should probably have some himself after his own splurge on the barâs pricy concoctions, but he still felt that he was holding up quite well. Before Jamie could whisk by again, he made sure to ask for another cup.
âSo, what happened next?â Wonwoo nudged your elbow while you stared off cluelessly, urging you to continue the story.
âWhat?â
âHe smells her perfume on the bedsheets. Now what?â
However, you were suddenly slumping forward, forehead nestled into your hands. For a moment, you stayed like that without word, until Wonwoo couldnât help his concern and touched at your bare shoulder.
âNot feeling well?â
You shook your head, whining out, âno, no. Itâs not that.â
He frowned, scooting to the edge of his chair and securing his arm across your shoulders. His voice was softer and closer against your warm cheek as he attempted to gauge that sour, twisted expression past your concealing hands, wanting to understand your hiding.
âWell, am I allowed to know whatâs bothering you?â
Again, you remained silent, biting your lip. There was such tenseness in your body that he could simply feel with just his arm.
Wonwoo leaned back, instead tugging at your wrist. âCan I at least see your face? Please?â You didnât budge. âHer, youâre worrying me a bit, here. Do you need me take you homeââ
âOkay, I have something to tell you.â Breaking abruptly from your husk, you were now staring straight and square at Wonwoo with distinct inebriation cloudy in your eyes, although there was something else too that compelled Wonwoo to bite his tongue and listen. âHonestly, I think Iâve held onto this long enough. And, Iâve wanted to confess this to you for a while now, but there was just so much debris in my life that I needed to sort through first. But youâre beyond important to me, and I just think that itâs time you finally know⊠so, can I tell you?â
âUmâŠâ
Wonwooâs throat was suddenly bone-dry and his pulse had spiked to the point where he could feel a vein along his neck start throbbingâhe even pondered waving down the bartender for another drink to pacify his growing nerves. Â
Ultimately, Wonwoo wouldnât last that long. Pushing up his glasses, he nodded, noting that you hadnât blinked once while you waited.
âSure. Tell me.â
Your upper lip twitched.
âMingyuâs been cheating on me, for two years.â
Wonwoo was quick to feel all his awareness become dull and drowned. He hardly registered his elbow shifting across the countertop, almost knocking over the glass of water onto the floor, nor did he realize the manner in which his mouth had subtly dropped open. You continued to stare at him with intensity, likely studying every tweak and fidget in his body language before swallowing deeply and choosing to continue the revelation.
He tightened up his jaw, trying to seem firm.
You looked ashamed of yourself as you admitted, âitâs been going on for two years, and Iâve known for about a year.â
âReally?â He answered, sounding mystified. âAn entire year?â
âGive or take.â
Then, Wonwoo was shaking his head. His fist had clenched up tight, though it wasnât the usual automated response that accompanied his anxietyâhe found there was immediate distaste and anger swirling together like storm clouds in the pit of his stomach.
Your gaze was cast to the water glass on the countertop, which you moved away for no apparent reason, your expression emptied.
After a frail sigh, you continued, âdo you remember that day I came into creative writing and got super upset at that guy for sitting in my seat? Remember how we talked about it at the nature museum, and I told you that I had a fight with Mingyu before going to class?â
âYeahâŠâ
âWell, that day, I tried bringing it up to him. And it totally didnât go over how I thought it would. Mingyu denied it all⊠of course, I only had some vague but suspicious texts to go off of, which he explained his way out of pretty poorly. But I just accepted it for the sake of our relationship. And I never brought it up again until⊠you know.â
Wonwoo let a natural, stagnant silence fall in between you, meanwhile the encompassing atmosphere was kept flowing by the various conversations of those around youâseemingly happyâwith plenty to drink as they kept warm from the bitter cold just outside.
He was biting his tongue, though he couldnât hold the question any longer, piquing his, âdo you know who he was cheating with?â
A huff shot straight through your nose.
âI knowâŠâ you mumbled, âand you know her, too.â
Suddenly, a name popped to his mouth without thought.
âBells.â
When you didnât confirm nor deny, opting to stare off to the side to conceal the emotion springing forth, Wonwoo knew it was solid truth.
âFuckâŠâ he cursed, grazing his hand across the smooth leg that was folded over your knee, âIâm so sorry⊠Iâm at a loss for words.â
You could only sigh while a glossy film developed in your eyes.
âI mean, Iâve been through all the stages alreadyâgrief, denial, acceptanceâwhatever the other ones areâso I donât know why Iâm still getting so choked up about it. I obviously didnât want to believe it⊠I mean, who the fuck does? Especially when you truly do have feelings for that person.â Shaking your head and sniffling, you exasperatedly flicked out a hand. âHer and her stupid sparkles. That was when I really started putting it together. Oh, Iâm going out to play poker, babe! And the next day, Iâm wearing his sweater, and I realize thereâs these fucking little bits of glitter on it, inside itâit was like a fucking beacon that was just screaming at meâhey! Your asshole boyfriend is cheating!â
That was something Wonwoo had noticed himself, after Bells had bumped into him at the partyâthe girlâs adoration for sparkly clothing and makeup essentially left behind a glaring trail of glimmery breadcrumbs. Wonwoo had found them on his clothes once he took them off and could really see the fabric underneath the light. The confession suddenly painted your actions that night in a new colour.
Rubbing against your temple, you explained further despite the struggle to speak over that clogged sound coming from your throat.
âItâs not like Iâm stupid, either, even if right now, in this situation, I seem like it. I know what Bells is like⊠sheâs spoiled rottenâalways has beenâand is used to getting whatever the fuck she wants. But, you see, thatâs the thing! Thatâs the fucking thing! Seokmin, Clara, Bells, even PrincessâI only met them because of the webs my parents have in their business world. I was never really allowed to find my own friends. It really just shows how much they had a say in my life⊠donât misconstrue, I truly do love Princess and sheâs by far the most normal, grounded person amongst them. She actually listens, and cares. But I was only allowed to befriend her âcause my parents know her parents.
Mingyu seemed like the one person I was actually able to connect with on my own⊠but heâs honestly changed so much. Itâs like, my parents were able to get their little fangs in him and warp him. And now⊠I really donât think he loves me at all⊠I think he loves my image, and what I represent, and the opportunities that come with me⊠but, I donât think he actually, genuinely loves me like he used to... like, back then, he was so, so sweet. He was always fumbling over himself, nervous, trying his best. I mean, you've read about it! He used to want to be an architect, Wonwoo. A freaking architect! He sketched all the time. He has a closet drawer full of sketch books from when he was younger. But everything's different now. He doesn't care. He hates when I bring it up! He hates me!
And I donât just thinkâI know it, Wonwoo. He resents me, but he wonât let go. Instead, he just sucks the life out of me, like heâs trying to get me to hate myself, too. And I do. I guess, as long as I hate myself, it makes me perfect in their eyes. Iâll just keep letting them mould me until I feel complete.â
Wonwoo didnât know what to do.
Hell, he didnât even know what to say except for the fact that you were rightâas long as you always felt subpar, or lacking, or frustrated with your drought of true identity, it would lead you back to the reliance you had on the deceptive characters in your lifeâit was nothing but a miserable cycle designed to bog you down and snuff you out. At least your tearful eyes had dried up.
You looked at him fondly, with a gentle smile. âThatâs what I like so much about you⊠even if you didnât intend toâwhich I know you didnât, judging from what Iâve heard about you trying to avoid writing with meââ (he bit his inner cheek coyly, casting a somewhat anxious hand through his hair), ââyou helped me realize parts of myself that were always there, but only needed some nurturing. You actually encouraged me. Supported me. AndâokayâI know I said that I hate myselfâbut since Iâve met you, Iâve been replacing it with an understanding of my situation. Iâve been kinder. Iâve been more of myself. I like to think what we have is a sort of symbiosis.â
Wonwoo nodded. âI think youâre right.â
âDo you think that Iâm⊠stupid⊠for staying?â
Immediately, Wonwooâs face furled in disagreement. âNo, no. Absolutely not. Mingyuâs been with you for so long. He has an integral quality in your life. It would be difficult to uproot yourself just like that. No oneâs a better judge of that situation than you.â
âYou think?â
âI know.â
As you relaxed back into the bar chair, Wonwoo could practically see this heavy, dark mist levitate from you and dissipate into the air. He knew that feeling of relief and inner freedom very well, and there was almost nothing that could compare to it.
Wonwoo then sipped from his glass of water, continuing to watch the stiffness melt off you like ebbing spring snow. "So, what was his response like? To your accusations? Was he at least honest?"
"Yeah, I got it all out of him eventually," you revealed with a very cumbersome sigh. "But he was deflecting like crazy... I'd never seen him like that before... he was fumbling his words all over, like he used to when we were first dating. But it was different. It wasn't nerves, it was just blind anger. He said I was no better. I mean, he's convinced we've had sex, and he wouldn't accept my denial, no matter what."
"It's not black and white," Wonwoo said, squeezing your arm, "it seems to me like a natural consequence. You felt trapped and alone."
For a split second, Jeanie flashed in his mind. A sear of guilt snapped through him. Mingyu would have much reflecting to do.
Nodding your head, you looked to Wonwoo and graced him with the words he may or may not have been waiting months to hear: "it's all over nowâMingyu and IâI made that extremely clear. And I honestly don't care what anyone else has to say. My mom didn't want to believe it... she's been acting strange since. I don't blame her."
In response, he merely nodded, warming you up with his gentle eyes.
But then he was shifting forward in his seat, elbows settled to the counter. Although it was quite late and he felt exhausted from drinking, his curiosity about a particular matter was still sharp.
âSo⊠Iâm wondering⊠what's your reason for writing the book?â
You gulped. âI wanted a way of looking back on everything. Seeing if maybe I could find myself somewhere amongst all those memories. Maybe when I started losing Mingyu was when I started losing myself. Maybe that's when I realized I was losing myself. Maybe that's when I realized I never really knew myself to begin with.â
He shrugged, his face colouring with admiration for you.
âWell... have you found something?â
Your only means of response was a twinkle-eyed grin.
The walk back to your apartment wasnât as dreadful as Wonwoo anticipated, mostly attributed to the alcohol soaking up in your stomachs, keeping your blood warm even in the face of a tough, harsh wind. Back when it wasnât so late in the night and his lips had yet to touch his first rum and coke, Wonwoo thought he would take himself home after seeing you off first. But now it was almost midnight, and he had this impending feeling of vertigo while he walked, and he was therefore very limp to fight the offer that involved a comfortable stay at your place until morning.
Wonwoo wasnât exactly sure where he deposited his coat or his shoes, or even his phoneâinstead he found himself sitting at the end of your bed, listening to the muffled sound of a running sink behind a closed door as you were busy in the washroom.
He leaned over, removing the glasses already slid down his nose and rubbing a palm into his eye until stars traversed the length of his vision. So, Lady Liberty was a cheater. For the past two years. It did bring Wonwoo to wonder what else Mingyu had said during your argument. Did he ever give a reason for cheating? Did he feel boxed into a life that wasn't the enriching utopia he surmised it might be, but he was toughing it out for the sake of success? Was he cheating because he was mad at you or mad at himself?
Or was he honestly just an asshole?
The Mingyu he was familiar with was shifty, and hardened, and image-obsessed, and now Wonwoo knew for a fact he wasnât delusional for feeling the tension between you and him whenever you were together. Godâhe could practically cut all the thickness in the air using Seokminâs nose and serve it like pieces of cake. But Mingyu hadn't always been like that according to your allegories. Deep down there could still be traces of the man you fell in love with, flickering like shiny little minnows beneath murky, clouded water.
But it was too late now.
Fitting his glasses back on, Wonwoo rolled back the sleeves to his crisp white dress shirt, proceeding to take a gander around your bedroom that he hadnât revisited in quite some time.
The running sink in the washroom across the hall was finally turned off, although Wonwoo had stopped paying attention to the background noise in place of reading your every detail off the walls. In minuscule ways, the room had changed. There were missing photographs from the dresser, your makeup vanity drawers no longer left ajar in your likely last-minuting rushing to ensure everything was perfect. The closet seemed cleaned-out. Emptier than it once was.
âI thought you might fall asleep.â
He jumped slightly, realizing that you were in the bedroom now, setting down your heels in the corner before making a stride toward the closet where the dress over your arm was hung back up.
Wonwoo bit his lip. âI questioned it.â
You smiled, and within that moment he noticed the long t-shirt you were draped in was the dark blue, logoed math shirt, the one youâd picked after sprinting back to his apartment amidst a rain storm. He felt something in his chest swell and ache in response to how pretty you looked wearing it. Wonwoo knew he was staring, blushing, but he didnât care. You had two of his t-shirts now. He hoped that collection might continue growing. He hoped that you wore them until his scent was naturally replaced by the strawberry sweetness of your own.
âThinking about anything in particular?â You asked, arms folded.
Slapping a guilty little grin on his face, Wonwoo shrugged. âNo.â
But then you started striding toward Wonwoo, uttering out something half-whispered that sounded a lot like âliarâ, and now he truly wasnât thinking about a damn thing, not even his own breath, as you proceeded to slide your arms around his neck and seat yourself in his lap. He was frozen. You hadnât been this fucking close to him since you two had cuddled during Seungcheolâs party.
But this was worseâthis was full-throttle intimacy with your penetrative, fluttering eyes eating up his soul while your bare thighs squeezed the sense out of him, trapping him, testing him.
âScared?â You whispered, moving your face in closer.
Yesâhe was horrifiedâhe couldnât even speak with you smiling at him so innocently despite the flames you were igniting.
Though, when he felt a wriggle from your hips that seemed to push against him in all the right places, Wonwooâs hands were immediate on your waist, tight and stilling, and he swore there was a vulnerable, pliant spark in your eyes that he had never seen before. Maybe Wonwoo could have been more polite about the approach, but after waiting so, so long, he felt like a rocket ship rife with fuel.
He kissed you.
In one decision his lips were pressed to yours, and in a kiss that was full of friction and earnest want, he could only dig deeper. Your arms curled further around his neck, to which you slipped in a quick, sharp breath before pouring yourself back into him so suddenly, mouths moulding again and again, spit slickening, noses bumping. He would have paused to take off his glasses, though Wonwoo was in no place to leave your lips for even a secondâespecially when your playful tongue glided with his and the world around him melted like wax.
Maybe he was biased (or maybe it was love), but Wonwoo swore it had never felt this right to kiss someone. He knew it, somewhere outside himself, far out in the ever-expanding universe and every other version that belonged, that this moment felt destined to happened. Wonwoo had never particularly believed in fate.
But then he wouldnât know how else to describe you.
His hands itching to touch more of your skin had gravitated to the thighs clenching at his hips. Your warmth and smoothness only made him greedier. As the kissing became messy in the desperation, he couldnât help but slide his hands to your ass, immediately kneading his cold fingers into the flesh, pulling, squeezing, pushing you closer into him because he quite literally wanted you to engulf his body.
Then, you were gripping at the back of his hair. You had opened up his throat for your wet lips to continue exploring, and Wonwoo felt every suckle and teething bite draw him further from clarity.
Each kiss slithered lower, until you were gradually lifting from his lap and placing yourself onto the carpet floor. Wonwoo had leaned back to tightly fist the bedsheets behind him, although he would never waver his lusted eyes from the sight of you between his spread legs, on your knees, palming him overtop his dress pants while biting your swollen, glistening lip. He almost wanted the camcorder to capture it.
âHow does it feel?â You hummed, staying focused on each pressured movement your hand applied to his prominent erection.
Wonwoo chuckled, clearing the huskiness in his throat, âlike Iâm gonna die.â His head tilted back. âHoly shit.â
Flashing nothing but a conniving, pleased smile, you tended to undoing his belt buckle. Wonwoo was burning up. As you pulled down the zipper to his pants and helped him shift down the waistband to his underwear an adequate distance, he couldnât process anything but the fact that he might burst like an explosion of confetti the second your hand would touch him.
Except, you opted to sit back on your haunches.
Tilting your head, you smirked at him.
âI would like a demonstration, please.â
He almost choked. âA what?â
âA demonstration,â you repeated, shuffling closer in between his thighs and gazing up much too seraphically through your lashes, âwonât you show me how you touch yourself, Wonwoo? Please?â
For the life of him, he couldnât produce one stupid fragment of a sentence, or even a word. Godâit didnât fucking help that you took reign and offered to get him startedâyour hand carefully reaching past his underwear, gripping onto him gently to spring his erection free. A shiver surged throughout his body at the sensation. Hotness spread like molten lava across his face as the result of your lascivious, teasing actions stood leaking and stiffer than wood right before your eyes, which were agleam with thrill and haze.
You seemed as though you were going to pounce on him.
But he could visibly see you swallow the temptation.
âAww, you have the prettiest dick Iâve ever seen,â you giggled, wrapping a hand around him that was soft and warm, âwould it make you feel better if I started you off, then? Gave you some help?â
Wonwooâs fists were tangled so intensely into the bedsheets he was surprised the fabric hadnât disintegrated. Holding his breath, he watched you lean forward until your mouth was hovering an agonizing distance over him, only to produce a line of spit that dripped onto his head. His jaw unhinged in a groan. Then you began working the saliva along his shaft, pumping a hand up and down, occasionally flickering your thumb over the sensitive tip only to remove the contact so casually, likely knowing it would rip him apart.
âYour turn.â
He took a second to push up his glasses and shake his head.
âMânot gonna last long, you know,â Wonwoo grunted, at last heeding your request and beginning to stroke himself for your viewing pleasure, âespecially after that big display. You fucking tease.â
With an arm slid over his thigh and the drool collecting in your mouth, you couldnât have looked anymore dazzled by the thirst you were experiencing, your eyes refusing to part from every tug delivered by his own hand. It was a spell, and you were unapologetically under it.
âMmm, a tease?â You purred, smiling. âI was just trying to help.â
âWere you?â Wonwoo scoffed, pumping faster while continuing to twist up the bedsheets using his other hand. âRubbing your fucking spit into my cock is tt-trying to help me? Is that what you think?â
âMmhm,â you answered, straightening up as Wonwoo felt himself become tenser, felt the pressure in his abdomen climb.
He shuddered, a groan reverberating from somewhere deep in his chest. The sound of his fist wetly slapping up and down consumed the room and Wonwoo knew it was only a matter of seconds before he lost it. You were basking in every sound and movement.
âFuck, fuck, I-I can'tââ
Suddenly, youâd pushed Wonwooâs hand away. His stomach flipped upside down. Before he could recognize the brief loss and regain of pleasure, your suckling, wet, hot mouth was already sliding down around his erection, your grip fastening to whatever you couldnât quite reach. Wonwoo bit his lip so hard at the sensation that something coppery-warm was tasted on his tongue, although that was the least of his concerns when you were throating him with messy desperation. His hand rested on your scalp, nervous to push your head down too firmly, but once he did, you moaned out so erotically around him that Wonwoo fragmented.
His hips bucked straight into your face while his fingers had tightened at the back of your scalp, feeling every intense throb expand against your throat, spurt after spurt filthy in your mouth. But you were diligent and zealous and Wonwoo knew you were swallowing it all despite the few tears trickling onto his pelvis. His length didnât leave the velvet, pillowy confines of your mouth until every bit was expertly milked out from him, though had Wonwoo let his hand drift off your hair in case you wanted a breath.
With a hiccup and a wipe against your chin, you were tasting the bedroomâs heavy air and exhaling ragged as Wonwoo marvelled you.
âTrying to take my soul with you or something?â He huffed, using his thumb to remove some leftovers from the side of your lips.
You caught his hand in an instant. âNoââ you piped up, quick to close your mouth around the digit and suck off whatever he politely removed, laving your tongue like you were licking a popsicle, ââI want all of it.â
He thought he might crumble, hearing you mumble such obscene words while tracks of tears dried overtop your cheeks, your voice sounding somewhat hoarse from the labour of taking him whole.
You were climbing back onto Wonwooâs lap almost blindly, his next breath taken away by a passionate kiss you pushed so fervently onto his lips. There was another tangling of tongues, saliva mixing together, but neither attempting to take controlâ though at this point Wonwoo would gladly oblige to throwing you on the bed and twisting off those frustrating panties he imagined were sticking to you. He could feel your arousal dampening through the baby pink cotton as his length twitched back to hardness underneath you.
âWonwoo,â you whined breathily into his ear while grinding your hips against him in search of friction, âIâve got to tell you something I did.â You bruised up his neck with more kisses. âSomething bad.â
His eyes were shut, hands continuing to grope your ass. âYeah?â He mumbled, feeling your tongue drag across a vein in his neck. âYou did something bad? What could that be?â
Your hands drifted down his chest, yanking open the buttons on his dress shirt in satisfying pops. Warm, feathery breath hit his ear. âThat day I stayed the night in your bedroom⊠aloneâŠâ you kissed him on his mouth, letting it linger and last, âI couldnât help it.â
Wonwoo had gripped the side of your face, meanwhile he rubbed underneath the waistband to your tiny, thin underwear.
âCouldnât help what?â
He flinched as your hand sunk down to grab his cock.
âI touched myself,â you confessed just an inch from his face, âI laid back against your pillows, spread my legs all wide⊠I had my fingers stuffed so deep inside myself, but it still didnât feel like enough.â Again, you were softly stroking him. Wonwoo continued to uphold that unwavering, painfully honest gaze you were pinning him in. âNdâ I came all over your t-shirt, Wonwoo. I played with myself until my fingers were cramping and my legs couldnât stay open anymore.â
He gulpedâheavyâlike swallowing a chunk of lead. His tender thumb grazed along your cheek and rubbed over your puffy lips. âI wanted to fuck you so bad that night,â Wonwoo soothed your confession with another, which was already quite obvious, âI dreamt about it. I wanted to bury myself so fucking deep inside your gut.â
You shook your head, eyes teary. âWhy didnât you?â He felt the delicate stroking motion along his erection come to a pause.
Wonwoo cradled your cheek. âIt would have fucked everything up.â
âBut I wanted it,â you whimpered. âIâve been wanting it for so long and you just left me there. I would have been quiet. You could have put me face down in the pillows and just used me all you wanted.â
âNo,â Wonwoo argued, âI would never want to use you. I want us to be together in everything. I know you wanted it. But lust makes you think different. Just like itâs making you think different right now.â
He softly slotted his mouth with yours, exchanging a much slower, sweeter kiss that lit a glow in his belly. You puddled right into the contact, curling your arms back around his neck to hold him tighter.
Much lighter kisses dappled the edges of your lips.
Wonwoo could feel you start to smile.
âI figured something was off the next morning,â he said.
You chuckled, âI didnât know how to face with you without thinking about it. I felt so dirty. But in the moment, I needed something.â
He nipped down your slender neck, letting his hot breath and reverberating, husky tone tickle your skin until your hairs stood up.
âHow wet were you?â Wonwoo purred, smirking.
Immediately, your hips were pushing down on him. âSoaked,â you then whispered, âI was making such a mess. I tried so hard to be quiet. But part of me wanted you to hear.â
Wonwooâs hands drifted up your t-shirt, gliding slow against your stomach, coming to reach the plump, sensitive breasts that he could only surmise were waiting for his attention. He cupped them in each palm, giving a tender squeeze and pull that pitched your breath into a squeak. Caressing your neck with more wet, open-mouthed kisses, he felt the absentminded grinding reignite the friction between you.
âDid you touch up here, too?â
His thumbs brushed your pert nipples. He felt you shiver.
âY-Yes.â
Tsking his teeth, he pleasured them with slow, rubbing circles that you mewled in response to. âYouâve got the softest skin. I could touch you until I die, and it still wouldn't be enough.â
âMmhm,â he heard you exhale shakily, âI touch myself at home, too. Put my pillow between my legs. Pretend Iâm grinding against you. Then let my fingers take me again and again until it hurts.â
How dare you fucking say that to himâhow dare you put such an intimate visual in his mind to haunt him like a ghost to hallowed grounds. How many times had you done it? How many times had you stood right in front of him, smiling so innocently, despite knowing damn well what you had done to yourself the night before.
Wonwoo pinched your nipples, watching you flinch.
âDoes it hurt right now?â
You nodded.
âWhere?â He lowered his voice, sinking his hand back down the creases in your tummy until it paused right on your mound, his eyes trained to your suddenly very desperate, misty look. âDown here?â
âYes.â
Holding eye contact with you, Wonwoo trailed his hand further along your panties until his touch was situated right between your thighs, directly feeling the wet fabric, the radiating heat, the aroused pulsations. Your fingernails were pricks in his shoulders.
âFuck, you are drenched, arenât you?â Wonwoo commented, rubbing his hand against you through the cotton material, your hips soon chasing the overwhelming pleasure. âCan feel you throbbing against my hand, you know that? Bet it aches so fucking good, hm?â
He grinned hard at your eyebrows knitting together. While he massaged you with one hand, the other gripped your chin where he pushed a hot, uncoordinated kiss onto your whiny mouth.
âLay across my lap,â Wonwoo whispered in between the hasty break for air, âlet me play with you instead, make you cum. Please.â
To his delight, your compliance came easily.
It didnât take long for you to splay yourself in the desired position, with Wonwoo pushing up the shirt to bunch at your waist while your bottom was perfectly presented in his lap. He massaged you, leaning down to mark a trail of kisses along your lower back, along your assâspreading you wide to see the large, soaked patch glistening on those easily rippable underwear.
âJust open your thighs a bit more,â Wonwoo instructed, to which you quickly listened, âfuckâperfectâall this, only for me.â He pushed his thumb against you through the panties and you instantly squeaked.
âRight?â He urged. âIs this all just for me?â
âMmhmâyes, yes. I fucking promise. Just for you.â
Wonwoo bit his lip to stop the size of the immediate smile from breaking across his face. Your hips wriggled up as his touch drifted away.
âI need more,â you groaned in frustration, âplease.â
âMore here?â Wonwoo pulled back on one side of your glute to help reveal the sensitive area, then rubbing his thumb against your clit.
Your entire body jerked, and he noticed your fingers dig into the bedsheets, clawing them up. He figured the wet friction between his thumb and your panties was frustratingly amplifying every little sensation in a dull but very cruel way. He continued his ministrations, adding some more pressure for you to squirm and moan at.
âDoes it still hurt?â Wonwoo asked, letting his other hand slide up your bare waist, the skin beginning to sweat and turn even warmer.
âPlease,â you groaned, attempting to adjust your hips against the stroking from his thumb, âI feel like mâgonna fucking die, Wonwoo.â
âStill need more, then?â
âYes!â
Deciding to throw you a bone, Wonwoo grabbed those thin, pink panties in his hand and helped you slide the constricting fabric down and off your legs. Once he spread you nice and wide, let the cold air ghost the slicken, swollen skin, you had gasped. For a moment, Wonwoo didnât speakâhe only stared at you with all the stars in the universe collecting behind his eyes, glittering like a snow globeâat how beautiful and exposed and needy you looked.
He let his fingers slide ever so slowly along your clit, drawing up to your hole, then pushing back down to hear you whimper brokenly.
Wonwoo swallowed the dryness in his throat.
âDo you have any fucking idea how beautiful you are?â He complimented, his fingers soaking in your arousal. âI knew your cunt would look pretty, but this is more than that. GodâŠâ experimentally, Wonwoo shifted a finger gentle into your opening, giving the digit a wriggle and few shallow pumps. Immediately your intense warmth clenched down tight before loosening, engendering him to effortlessly press in two more long fingers. âThere you go⊠good girlâŠâ he mumbled his encouragement as you gripped the bedsheets and moaned a guttural sound, âtaking in my fingers so fucking wellâthey slide in so easy⊠make such perfect, dirty noises whenever they fill up this gorgeous cunt.â
His thumb touched at your clit, lending it some attention that had you twisting and bucking back to receive even more pleasure.
âGod, WonwooâŠâ you gasped, sounding lost to the ecstasy while letting him take his time with mapping out your inner walls with curious strokes, âthat feels so fucking good. You have no idea. Feels like mâgonna pour all over you.â
He grinned, further stimulating your swollen clit, maintaining the pattern as you propped up on your elbows, tugged at the bedspread, and released a mellifluous, shuddering moan from your throat.
âF-fuck ye-yessâŠâ you whined as his fingers squelched deeper and his thumb continued its circles, âyes, yes, yes, keep doing thatâoh-oh, fuck! Mâgonna cum all over your fingersâmâgonna make a mess!â
âThatâs all I want,â he breathed, his chest tightening at how much arousal was pooling sticky around his digits, âthatâs all Iâve ever fucking wantedâmake a mess all over me, like the pretty, desperate girl you are. Let me see it. Let me feel everything. Cum just for me.â
Your entire body proceeded to seize, Wonwooâs fingers now struggling to pump, as this striking wave seemingly coursed through you and resulted in heavy fluids wetting his dress pants. It took a moment for you to power through the pleasure, though Wonwoo was at least able to maintain his stroking gestures against your clit until he noted the sharp, almost spastic twitches in your muscles.
âThatâs a good girl,â Wonwoo hummed in satisfaction while he gingerly eased his fingers out and left your poor, throbbing bud alone.
He smoothed his hand down your back, offering you a moment to relax, breathe, and ride out the electricity.
âFuck,â you wiped at the sweat on the back of your neck, chuckling at the discomfort, âI can feel it all between my legs.â
Wonwoo smirked. Hard. He bent forward to peck your temple, then brushed his lips against your stinging hot ear. "How about I clean that all up for you?" The velvety whisper caused your body to jitter.
"Clean me up how?" You turned your head, catching his eye.
There was a swap of positions. Wonwoo lowered himself to the bedroom floor, the carpet spongey against his knees, while you lay down on your back and draped your legs off the edge of the bed. But he was hungry for you, and greedier than a treasure hunter, and you went limp as he hitched your knees over his broad shoulders.
Being face to face with your intimate heat was like the kiss of lifeânew energy was taking over himâgiving him desire unlike any other.
He didn't know if he wanted to keep staring at you, your soft skin messy with slick and twitching anticipatorly at his closeness, or if he should stop prolonging the moment and just bury everything into you. Adjusting his glasses, Wonwoo licked his bitten lips. You were in the midst of shuffling up to your elbows, likely wondering what the hell he doing, staring between your thighs for so long.
But as quickly as you squeaked his name, it was interrupted by an intense gasp a second later. You leaned all your weight onto a single elbow, tossing your head back, panting for dear life as Wonwoo striped his tongue long and flat against your heat. His hands gripped your hips, sculpting them over your bone while he tasted your arousal, all sticky and musky and delicious to the point of addiction.
"O-Oh my god, Wonwoo," you cried, letting your body collapse onto the bedsheets, limbs becoming jelly, "that feels fucking amazing."
He licked into you like he were trying to reach the centre of a sweet, colourful jawbreaker. Every pass from his tongue was firm, encompassing, smothering you in pleasure and painting you with spit. But you reacted best when he toyed his ministrations around your sensitive clitâyour back would jolt off the bed, arched, as your thighs hugged him tightâWonwoo heard your begging akin to a distant echo. He would even smile into you, glasses all foggy, chin running in wetness, as you preached his name dumbly, losing your mind. Wonwoo pressed his mouth hot against you, flicking his tongue to your overstimulated clit, focusing hard on his pattern.
"Fuck, fuck!" You shouted, writhing into the sheets. "Please, Wonwoo. Please, please, pleaseâI'mâI'm gonna cum! Please, justâk-keepâ"
There was a surge of something warm and liquid that Wonwoo wanted to drink like a peach's nectar. You were throbbing right under his tongue and he loved it to a point that felt utterly insane. He didn't want to stop even if the world was ending. His face plunged in deeper, his hands grafting into your hips harsher, completely ignorant to your fingers pulling at his hectic locks of hair. Wonwoo only wanted you and nothing else and he was going to drown in it.
But you were attempting to sit up, your sweaty body becoming better at escaping his eager, hungry licks that dug into your slit, and once he heard you wince particularly sharp, he knew he had to stop.
He sat back, removing his glasses and wiping off his chin. You slid a leg from his shoulder, using a foot to gently prod against his chestâa light scolding for perhaps enjoying you a little too much.
"Are you starved?" You laughed heavily, gulping down a breath.
Wonwoo fit the glasses back to his face. "For you? Yes." He then licked at his teeth and lips, still yearning to find traces of your arousal, only to realize you were shaking. "ShitâI'm sorry if I hurt you." Standing up, he cupped your face, bending down to kiss you gentle on the lips over and over. "I'm so fucking sorry. You taste amazing, that's all. And you're so beautiful. I couldn't fucking help it."
With a giggle, you tousled his hair. "No, I'm fine. I like a little pain." Your eyes were back to shining. Then, you caught his mouth, stealing another kiss. "But Iâm even greedier than youâ," pushing yourself up, you nipped at his lips, ââand I want that pretty, long cock inside me to hit all the right spots.â The exchange had you seated back in Wonwooâs lap, where your bare, soaked pussy was free to brush against his straining and achingly hard length.
âYeah?â Wonwoo smirked, welcoming your spit-smeared mouth.
Feeling your hips grind against him, you purred, âyeah.â
âIâve got no protection,â Wonwoo admitted in between the make-out session, hardly able to pry your lips from one another as you slid backward on the bed with Wonwoo climbing over top.
Helping to shove off his dress shirt and slacks, discarding them to the floor, you shook your head. âDonât need it.â
Returning the gesture, Wonwoo had you fully undressed. The entirety of your bare body on full display felt like something sacredâan artwork that had been crafted with unimaginable attentiveness to every single detail, no matter how miniscule. He couldn't liken it to anything else in his life but a distant memory from childhoodâa grand mausoleum that he found himself inside with his older brother, the ceiling intricately chiselled with angelic, satin-like bodies.
Your words seemed distant. It took a second for him to remember.
âDon't need protection? Why?"
As your hands locked behind his neck, pulling him down close, you dug into his eyes with an emotional gaze. âFinish inside me.â
He stuttered, furrowing his brow, âseriously? You wonâtââ
âNo. Iâm taking precautions, you know.â Brushing at his dampened, thick hair, you asked, âhave you ever had unprotected sex?â
Wonwoo scoffed, surprised at the inquiry, âyeah. Butâis thatâyou really want that? With me?â He stared down at you intensely.
âI only want it if you want it, too.â
He nodded, biting his lip, taking a moment to examine your perspiring face alongside the the rising and dipping of your chest.
âI want it,â Wonwoo reaffirmed, âI definitely want it.â
Truth be told, a splinter of nerves had lodged into his chest at the thought of having to perform to your anticipationâWonwoo was never really sure if he would ever get intimate with youâand as his gaze again streamed your body, he felt overwhelmed. But then your fingertips were stroking down his bicep, seemingly drawing out the forthcoming anxiety from him like you were pulling out a thread of energy, and the easygoing smile he was met with tamed his heart.
Wonwoo eased closer toward you, allowing your expert touches to be the guide. Your hand had returned to his length for a few more thorough and especially lentamente tugs, prompting him to hiss into your neck while very flushed shades of pink crawled up his face.
He felt himself throb, wanting to simply collapse against you and climax at your hand for the second time. To make matters even more complicated, Wonwoo felt you shift slightly, and then the tip of his impatient cock was suddenly gliding all slippery like butter along your folds. Wonwooâs arms started to shake.
You laid your palm gentle against his neck.
âHowâs that feel?â You whispered in a trembling breath, meanwhile continuing the heavenly ministrations of tracing your clit with his length. âI-I think it feels quite niceâgetting you all wet.â
âAmazing,â he answered, pressing his forehead to yours and pecking at your lips, âyou want me to take it from here?â
Keeping silent, your grip drifted from his erection and you seemed satisfied to let the control sway now that Wonwoo was adjusted. Just before he aligned himself, however, he looked at you and laughed.
âCan you push up my glasses real quick?â
You chuckled, âseriously?â
âWhatâs wrong with wanting to be see you properly?â
âNothing,â you flashed a tender smile, then using your finger to help position the glasses back up his nose, âthere you go.â
Wonwoo proceeded to slide himself inside you at a slower pace that allowed him to bask in the intimate sensationâhe made damn sure every little squeeze, flutter, and convulsion your heat cushioned him with was feltâthough that made it considerably hard for him not to release in pathetic fashion, before he had even made a good, swift thrust. You were soaking up the moment just as much.
He didnât want to advert his eyes from the pleasure cascading like ripples across your face for even a second. Once he was buried in still and deep, completely stuffing you to the hilt, your breath had fogged up his glasses.
âFuckâs-sorryââ you squirmed through the apology, your hips occasionally canting against his in unbridled twitches, ââI can hardly fucking think right now. Do you know how much youâre throbbing?â
He choked out a hoarse laugh, âdo you know how insanely good you feel to me? Feels like mâgonna fucking break into a million pieces. â
âI want you to break me into a million pieces,â you whined so needily, looping your arms around his neck, âfuck me, Wonwoo. Please.â
He was positive you had told him that in a dream once.
As euphoric as you felt clenching around him, Wonwoo truly did want the sex to last. His thrusts into your heat werenât frantically impatient, rather they grooved incredibly, purposefully deepâeach stroke was thoughtful but hard, slow but timely, and judging from your high-pitched keens and the nails scraping against his shoulder blades, he knew you were appreciating the moment just the same.
Wonwoo grasped your sweaty hands in his, your fingers interlocking tight, in order to hold them against the sea of silky pillows above your head. With another especially daggering thrust that made his teeth clench and his abdomen flutter, you had jerked and cried out his name, followed by a breathless, ârr-right there!â
A leg wrapped around his hips, your ankle digging uncomfortably into his side while he continued to push his length into the spot that was making you howl. But it was getting increasingly difficult to continue the tempoâyour leg was tightening around him like a boa constrictor and your warmth was clamping down with plain strength, almost as though your body was attempting to lock him inside.
He merely squeezed your hands harder, losing his breath. âYouâre almost there, arenât you?â Taking advantage of another thorough stroke, Wonwoo had the bedframe thudding the wall, his words hotly pressing into your ear. âYouâre trying to keep me suctioned in.â
Your whimpers were falling apart like crumbling clay. Wonwoo tried to understand what it was you were mewling at him, something involving his name, how good it felt, that he should keep going, meanwhile tears were springing to your eyes and wetting your glimmery cheeks. Wonwoo bit his lip. He was throbbing wildly inside your heat, knowing you were only getting dumber and turning incoherent as he speared you so intimately on his cock.
Wonwoo wasnât going to last much longer and neither were you. He was already feeling himself burst and breakâthe convulsion ripped through him like a landslide and now your leg was fully hooked around his hips, pinning him against you while he emptied himself disgustingly deep inside your warmth.
The sensation must have triggered your own orgasm, because his cock felt like it was practically being suffocated as you squeezed down on him. Wonwoo thought he might blackout when you whined his name into the dim bedroom humidity, strung in a loud, trembling lilt that cracked beautifully in the middle.
Your arms were winding back around his neck, pulling his face to yours, a kiss crushed onto his awaiting mouth.
âI need more,â you panted in between the kisses, âdonât feel full enough yet. Cum inside me again, Wonwoo. Please, take me again.â
âAgain?â He smiled, his glasses bumping your nose. You were completely uncaring, only nipping at him harder. âAre you sure?â
âYes, yes, yes,â you chanted, âIâve never been surer of anything in my fucking life.â Suddenly, you were wriggling underneath him, rolling onto your stomach, and repositioning yourself such that you were face-down-ass-up. With eyes twinkling bright in pure, carnal lust, you threw him a a yearning glance from over your shoulder. âFuck me again, nice and deep like before." His heart shot into his throat. When you begged, it was like his world was shrinking into a bubble where only you and him existed. "PleaseâI need it before your cum starts leaking out. I need to be filled by you, Wonwoo. Please.â You looked like you might cry if he didn't oblige the plead.
And so he did, his fingers planting a firm grip on your strong hips.
As much as you were willing to take, he was willing to give, finding himself submerge further and further into the intoxicating nature of it all until he started to lose his mindâall he knew is that it was concerningly late at night, your bedsheets were sticky and ruined, and you had gone from being thrust into the pillows to slapping yourself down on his cock while Wonwoo hazily watched. He loved the sight of your sweat, your glowing light, your bouncing breasts and pleasure-drunk face far too much. At some point, you had slumped forward into him, spent to fucking hell.
With your chests were pressed together, his cock still throbbing and stuffed inside you, there was a moment of nothing but thick, laboured breathing and heartbeats synchronizing. He kissed your temple and wrapped his arms around you, proceeding to mumble something sweet and half-asleep that contained your name.
You had squeezed his length unforgivingly in response.
âFuckâdonât get me hard again. Iâm fucking exhausted.â
âI like when you use my name.â
He smiled into your cheek. âI can tell.â
Wonwoo had woken before you.
Mostly because the bedsheets had been gradually wrapped up and tugged away and progressively stolen from him during the night, letting the cool, morning air dust over him like spray from an ocean. You were a fidgety sleeper, he had realized, sometimes even a mumbler, although Wonwoo had never been able to discern what it was you were sluggishly declaring in your dreams.
He turned his head to you, saw the bare groove of your back, shapely like a flower petal, and your arm dug underneath the silk pillow, observing every breath your unconscious body took.
Then, Wonwoo was leaning over you, feeling his fingers sink into your fleshy waist while his lips touched a kiss against your warm cheek. He hoped you wouldnât mind him using your washroom for a shower.
Afterward, Wonwoo retraced the apartment, finding his shoes a questionable distance apartâone stood square at the front door while the other was left in the hallway leading to your room. His winter jacket was tossed over the arm to the couch, meanwhile his phone involved a more in-depth search. For some reason, heâd left it atop a shelf beside the television, hidden by a clumsy stack of textbooks.
When he tapped the screen, it illuminated some text messages from Vernon that had been sent at around two in the morningâmostly inquiries about the birthday dinner and whether or not Wonwoo had bothered going to the famed and mysterious Room 319.
Though, he opted not to respond, realizing the details he wanted to share with his friend would likely require a sit-down discussion over burgers, fries, and sodas at Solar Pop. Making his way back to the bedroom, Wonwoo carefully creaked open the door to find you half-shoved onto an arm, making tired circles against your eye.
He smiled, coming to sit beside you, handing off the glass of water he poured for himself.
âAre you leaving?â Was the first question you blearily pieced together after accepting the water but not drinking anything from it.
Wonwoo shook his head. âNo.â
You managed to sit up properly, the sheets settling around your hips while you continued holding onto the glass. For a moment, you seemed to just observe Wonwoo, your eyes still swollen from sleep.
âWhere are you going, then?â
He furrowed his brow. âNowhere,â Wonwoo laughed, pulling one leg up onto the bed. âI got up to shower. Went and found my things. Got a glass of water, which youâre now holding, by the way.â
You swallowed, looking down at your lap.
âOhâŠâ after a recollecting pause, you took a sip from it.
Wonwoo smiled, his eyes softening like fresh brown sugar, as he proceeded to unstick some matted hairs from the edge of your face.
âYouâre a pretty big sheet stealer,â he said, continuing to spread his fingers about your features, removing fluffs and rubbing off bits of dried spit, âand you seem to like talking, even in your sleep.â
âOh, yeah⊠I should have told you that.â
He shrugged. âItâs fine. I liked not knowing.â
âDid you?â With a laugh and smile, you drank some more water.
âYeah. Because itâs you, it makes me adore it even more.â
âI donât always mumble. I swear. Only sometimes.â
Wonwoo didnât care. âItâs not a big deal.â
âI guess I should shower, too. Then Iâll change the sheets and get new ones on.â You abruptly raised the blankets at your lap, lifting up a leg to examine something Wonwoo couldnât see. âYeah, I definitely need to change the sheets⊠oh! And take my pill. Fuck. I canât forget.â
âI can help with the sheets.â
âOkay,â you said while leaning forward to pull open a drawer on your nightstand, revealing a thin, silver cartridge of pills, âthanks.â
After you had showered and gotten dressed in a clean spare t-shirt, you changed the dirtied sheets to your bed together.
Then you and Wonwoo spent some time together in the open, bright living room, lounging on the couch. Maybe you had kissed a few more times, and maybe his naturally cold hands had found their way underneath your loose t-shirt to curiously massage and press along your pretty chest, and maybe you had kissed a little more after that while the sun rays slid up your sensitive skin.
You twisted away from Wonwooâs lips with a giggle.
âMâkay, thatâs enough, or else Iâll need another shower.â You grabbed at Wonwooâs hands that had been squeezing your breasts.
Although he didnât want to stop, he listened, relaxing against the pillow he had stuffed between his spine and the arm of the couch, now throwing an elbow behind his head. You were leaning back against him, getting comfy between his legs, and for a few minutes or so, the two of you gazed out those large, floor-length glass windows into the awakening, snow-capped city.
He felt you stir against him.
âYou know⊠sometimes you donât always speak English.â
Wonwoo itched his eyebrow, chuckling, âwhat?â
âLast night, like, when I was riding youââ your head tilted back onto his shoulder, beaming him a smile, ââyou would start switching languages. In between English and Korean. It was so cute.â
âOh, yeah.â He adjusted his glasses, staring down at you while his cheeks became rosy. âI donât know, itâs just something my brain does automatically. I donât always realize Iâm doing it.â
You grinned; eyes sparkling. âWhen it feels too good?â
Ruffling a hand through his hair, he simply smirked at you.
âHaving a front seat view to the most beautiful girl in the world riding me just happens to be something that makes me feel really good.â
You pushed your head up to kiss him, followed by a sweet and brief whisper that he smiled at, âcompliment appreciated.â
A few more quiet minutes passed. Wonwoo thought he could spend the entire day just sitting on the couch with you warm in his arms, watching the snow tumble down like wisps of tender willows.
âWonwoo?â
âMm?â
You got quiet.
Then, your weight against his chest was gone, and you had half-turned yourself around to look at him, seeming nervous.
He tilted his head. âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothing,â you answered, glancing down briefly before soaking him back into your agleam eyes. âI just want to apologize, actually.â
At that, Wonwoo stiffened. âYeah? What for?â
With a sigh and another anxious moment to fiddle with the rolled-up cuff belonging to his wrinkled dress shirt, you were reserved.
âEver since we fought, I can't help thinking about it. I mean, Iâve thought about what you said, and the fact you apologized, and explained yourself, and how you gave me time to process it all. You gave me so much grace, even when I felt like I hated you⊠but⊠I also said some hurtful things about you⊠I mean, back then I felt like you deserved it. And, I donât know⊠maybe you did? Like, maybe we both needed to just be there, screaming at each other, digging our guts out, throwing up all this stuff to the surface because no one else has ever given us that freedom or made us feel like we could before. Anyway, I just feel like itâs only right that I say sorry, too.â
Scratching at his neck, Wonwoo swallowed. He never thought of it like that. âUh, sure. If thatâs what you feel you need to do. â
âIâm sorry, Wonwoo. I really, truly am.â
He smiled, grasping at your hand and threading his fingers with yours. Pangs of regret were flooding your eyes, filling them up until they were undoubtedly teary and Wonwoo had to wipe it all away.
âItâs fine, I swear,â he whispered, moving in closer to you, brushing at your cheek as you sniffled. âNothing has ever truly changed how I feel about you. Youâre incredibly firm but sensitive, and have such fiery passion, and youâre curious about everything, and I know that it hurts so much to live without really knowing yourself. But I see you, and I feel like I know you. I never want to stop knowing you, alright?â
âWonwoo?â
âYeah?â
Your mouth pressed against his, and he tasted the salt from the tears that beaded down the slopes of your cheeks, warm with life.
âI love you.â He felt the whisper touch at his lips. âI really do.â
Wonwoo held onto your face like he was cradling a big pearl. âI love you, too.â Another kiss sealed the expression into felt, tangible emotion. âBut honestly, you already knew that.â
Later in the day, you came up to Wonwoo as he ate lunch at the table, only after having disappeared into a distant office space further down the hallway. You dropped before him a clear, plastic duotang, which held a notably thick stack of papers that had quite a weight to it upon picking up. It only took a few flips into the papers for Wonwoo to realize that it was the completed book he used to proofread for youâa series of chronological memories between yourself and the boyfriend you had gradually drifted apart from.
True to your word, you had forged ahead and finished the book alone.
He was proud to hold the evidence.
Wonwoo asked what you planned to do with the book now that it was done. He even wondered if you might let him read some parts he never got to work on, though he understood if you preferred to keep the contents private. As he was in the middle of lifting a hot spoon to his mouth, Wonwoo suddenly paused at hearing your response.
âI think Iâll just shred it.â
You didnât seem to care.
The decision came easier than pressing a button. There was only one copy of the book, apparently, and you had plans to turn all its pages into literary confetti. But that was a very you thing to do, Wonwoo had come to accept. Writing served many purposes, and it seemed that the purpose you had sought out was met. Somewhere, in all those paragraphs, sentences, letters, and ink, you found the fulfillment you had always ached for. At last, you struck a glimmer of promising gold after digging through all the haze and confusion.
âSure,â he answered, âshred away.â
â8 MONTHS LATER. END OF JUNE.
âIt looks so pathetic!â
âWhat?! No it doesnât!â
Peeking up from the mason jar of earthy blue water heâd been swirling together using some dirtied paintbrushes, Wonwoo saw you seated across from him, talking to a very dismayed, upset twelve-year-old girl. Sierraâs little sister, Cora, had enrolled in his landlordâs ceramics class over the summer, and thus every Saturday evening she spent her time moulding unwilling chunks of grey clay alongside other similarly aged students. It was only Cora in the shop since she had been the last to get her teapot in the kiln, taking extra time with every minute detail.
Though, despite her care and attentive pace, Cora was still not pleased with the teapot, leading her to grumble and shake her head.
You were sitting beside her, a hand rubbing along the little girlâs back while she continued scrutinizing her creation. Ever since you moved into Wonwooâs apartment back in May, Saskia had quite liked you more than her average tenant, and that somehow transformed into an offer to help her teach the summer ceramics class (with pay).
Wonwoo was always there to assist in the clean-up afterwardâhis favourite part was submerging all the greasy, bristly paintbrushes into a clean jar of water so that he could watch how their colours bled out in thin, swirling hues.
âNo, no, noâitâs just bad.â
âIâm telling you. Itâs not.â
Cora picked up the lid to the pot, then placed it back down. âThereâlookâit doesnât even close properly. And the spout is not spouty enough⊠itâs too thick, I think. Hardly any tea will go through!â
âWell, I really like it.â
Tucking a tuft of poofy, rust-brown hair behind her ear, Cora gave you a suspecting and funny sort of look that made Wonwoo smile to himself. She was a very shy student, but she talked to you the most.
âYou say that about everything I make,â Cora sighed.
âSo what?â
âSoâŠâ she nibbled on her small lip, looking off to the side, âyou have to say that, because you're nice. Youâre like my mom. She says she loves everything I make. But then why donât I ever love it?â
âShe loves it because you made it, obviously. And she loves you. I think love changes how we look at things. Even the impractical.â Then, you picked up her teapot and moved it closer. âYou know why I like this teapot? Because it shows youâre determined. I mean, look at all those bowls on the newspaper over thereâyouâre the only one who did the teapot! And you did it mostly by yourself. You wouldnât even let me help you roll out the clay. So, thatâs why I like it. Because I see you in it. And when you tackle it again, youâll know what to do differently. Plus, you know you can ask me for help, right? You know Iâll always help you.â
The little girlâs freckled face suddenly became less twisted with judgement and frustration. She set her elbows onto the table, scratching at a Hello Kitty bandaid along the back of her hand, while you gave her hair a quick ruffle. Wonwoo started drying off the paintbrushes using paper towel before moving them into the cup labelled âcleanâ with a piece of tape.
âWhat should I do with this, then? If it wonât work,â Cora asked.
You shrugged. âI donât know. But for now, just leave it with the other stuff. Weâll give it a nice glaze next time around. Make it even prettier. Then you can decide what to do with itâwhether or not you want to keep it or smash it on the ground. Itâs up to you, Cora.â
Wonwoo tilted his head. âWhy donât you turn it into a miniature flower pot or something? Fill it with soil and plant something in it?â
Cora raised her eyebrows. âI like that idea, actually.â
âMe too,â you said, shooting Wonwoo a sly wink that he smiled very stupidly at, âlook at this guy over here. Lurking with his good ideas.â
By the time Sierra was available to pick up her sister, Wonwoo had officially finished cleaning all the paintbrushes and whittling tools, as well as replacing the tablecloth with a fresh one. The three of you stood at the base to the shopâs very small stoop, exchanging some general conversation while a sleepy Cora held onto her sisterâs hand and leaned her seemingly heavy head against her side.
The sky was a tame yellow shade, not as bright as a buttercup, but something delicate of the like.
âHeyâI heard you guys are planning a vacation!â Sierra chirped, adjusting the car keys in her hand, âis that all true?â
âYeah,â you nodded, flashing Wonwoo a soft smile, âuh, we decided that weâre gonna spend some time in South Korea. I havenât visited his family at all. But, yeah. Gonna leave start of August and come back right before October. So, a pretty good chunk of time.â
âNo way!â She exclaimed.
âWeâll see how it pans out,â Wonwoo commented, sliding his arm around your waist and digging his fingers into your hip. âBut my brother wonât shut his mouth about meeting her. And my parents are obviously curious. Besides, there are some great places I want to show off.â
Sierra shook her head. âIâm jealous. And totally sure you guys will have a great experience together. Weâll miss you here, though.â
âPlease do,â you laughed, and Sierra pinched your cheek.
She then looked down at her sister, who had her eyes shut.
âOkay, Iâm gonna get this little dove home. Thank you so much for helping her at ceramics by the way. She talks about you all the time.â
âReally?â You touched at your face, seeming flustered. âWell, I love helping her out. Sheâs a sweet girl with a lot of will on her shoulders.â Lowering your voice, you moved in closer to Sierra. âIâll keep my eyes peeled for a cute gift she can have while weâre gone.â
After parting ways with Sierra and Cora, you and Wonwoo returned upstairs, back into the apartment to prepare for supper.
Both of you were feeling particularly lazy, and the shiny red tomato he was supposed to chop ended up being ignored in place of eating ice cream straight from its tub.
You were the one who grabbed itâWonwoo was only following suit as he picked up a spoon and curved some out.
Something else interesting about you that Wonwoo had learned since moving in together was that you didnât really care to ever sit on a chair, even when you were eating. It was either the sofa, the floor, or the kitchen table, in which you would be holding onto your food even though he always thought how easier it could be if you did sit down properly. The quirk was fun, nonetheless, and Wonwoo had admittedly started looking at the kitchen table in a different light after he proceeded to give you oral on it one night. Consequently, it bloomed a very dangerous habit between the two of you.
A habit that might become drastically less accessible once you two jetted off to his native country for over a month, confined between his parentâs cozy home where he grew up and the two-story apartment his wealthy brother and sister-in-law owned in the glittering heart of South Koreaâs Seoul. He was nervous. You were nervous. But at least you were together.
Over the months, your parents had gradually come to accept him as your boyfriend, even if they weren't exactly warmed up to the idea at the start. Wonwoo revisited your home a few times alongside you to help in the explanations of your story and future prospects, although he partially understood that Mingyu was like a precious sapphire to your family and having him out so suddenly was hard to stomach.
He spent years nestling himself a comfortable burrow and smoothing out the bumps to make a crafty façade that, particularly your mother, couldn't help but outwardly adore. Like a son. Like Seokmin, too.
Wonwoo thought Mingyu might give him trouble.
In truth, he'd scarcely seen him, unless transient glimpses of his towering, quickly bustling figure from across a university campus or city street were noteworthy. Obviously, he wasn't inside Mingyu's head and he really had no inclination as to what the boy might be thinking on the occasion he spotted you and Wonwoo hand-in-hand at the park, or sharing breakfast at the café along Sunnyside.
But if Mingyu maintained even half the feelings that Wonwoo did for you, then he was positive it hurt like fucking hell.
Of all people, Wonwoo supposed he himself knew best.
âAUGUST 1ST.
âWonwoo!â
He closed his dresser drawer, almost slamming his fingers inside. Your voice echoed from the living room, sounding hectic.
âYes? Whatâs up!â
âThe taxiâs here!â
Fuck. He immediately thought. The time was flying by.
Wonwoo had made a gigantic list of what to pack, but over time he kept adding and taking things away from it. Now, it was early morning, soft rain and cracks of bursting light coming down outside, and he was doing a final clean-sweep of the bedroom as well as his poorly scribbled list to ensure everything he needed was with him.
Quickly approaching the window, Wonwoo glanced outside to see the cab parked at the curb. Fuck. Again. Vernon always said he would happily provide you two a ride to the airport, but then the boy was unsurprisingly wrapped back into some trouble, and Wonwoo hadnât seen his best friend in over a week.
Graciously, however, Vernon had given him a heads up and a proper goodbye beforehand. Heâd even left him a voicemail to listen to, which immediately jumped into Wonwooâs brain at random as he scrambled around the bedroom in search of his phone.
âJust give me one more minute!â Wonwoo shouted.
There was a pause on your end, and then a sigh.
âDo you need help?â
âNoâall good. I promise. Can you let the cab driver know?â
âI will.â
âThank you!â Wonwoo sang, finding the phone blended into his bedsheets, then proceeding to open his inbox. âI love you!â
âI love you, too!â You shouted back. âJust hurry the fuck up!â
He let Vernonâs message play while also tossing his suitcase onto the bed, stuffing in a few more last-minute grabs with utter clumsiness.
âHeyyy, Glasses! How are things? Iâm shooting you this cute little message at aroundddâoh! Looks like itâs two in the morninâ! Itâs two in the fuckinâ morninâ and Iâm pulled up outside this dudeâs house all âcause he canât pay me back for my good, hard services. Itâs nothinâ serious, though. Donât get all uptight like usual. You know Iâm good at handlinâ stuff and keepinâ my cool. Probably my better qualities. Anyway, Iâm bored as fuck. Iâve spun this Lloyd CD about four times and I just canât listen to that dude anymore. He can sing, though.
I am pissed youâre leavinâ me. And Iâm pissed sheâs leavinâ me, too. You guys are what I look forward to whenever I drive down into that shithole city. Well, I think just about every cityâs a shithole city. In fact, the city Iâm in now is probably more of a shithole⊠Seokmin texted me the other dayâsaid he wants to talkâwhich is vague as fuck and to be honest, Iâve been ignorinâ it âcause I canât get myself to give a god damn. But maybe Iâll hear him out. That guy was a cutie, wasnât he? I still think youâre a bit cuter. And better at mini-put.
Iâll miss you a lot when youâre down there⊠it got me thinkinâ about the night when we first met. The New Yearâs Eve party. You remember that pretty well, donâtâchya? I saw you come in with those guysâthey didnât look like your crowd at allâbut then after a while you were alone. Wanderinâ around. It didnât even seem like you knew anyone else was there. You had the blankest look on your face. Like you were stuck in a loop and you didnât even know it. I donât know that I felt pity or anything⊠hell, maybe I felt a little. I just talked to âya âcause I wanted to know if you knew where you even were.
You knew you were at some stupid, loud, awful fuckinâ house party jammed with unfamiliar faces. You knew how much you hated beinâ there. But I donât think you actually knew how you got there, or why, or what was supposed to happen next. It kinda drew me to you. I wanted to understand it. And you gave me the weirdest look, too, when I stopped you. But once I got you outside, away from all the bullshit, you loosened up just a bit and I realized I was talkinâ to this smart, well-rounded, thoughtful guy who was just a little lost in the weeds.
I know you didnât really care about me like that. I was just some jumped-up weirdo who could give you mint weed at a sweet price. But I still liked you⊠I dunno⊠other people see you differently when they care a whole lot, donât they? I guess they see things about you that others canât, or they know exactly what you could be when others donât. They see stuff even you canât see. Itâs like a superpower, I think⊠my best superpower is probably makinâ girls giggle. Iâve got a lot of charm, wouldnât you agree? Haâanywayâstay safe on your trip, tell Her that Iâll miss her a lot, tooâoh! Oh!
Fuck! Thatâs it. That little fucker is cominâ outsideâhe canât resist his two am darts on the porch. God bless you, nicotine! Okay, uh, guess this is me hanginâ up on you. Later, Wonwoo!â
At that point, everything Wonwoo needed was packed. But heâd taken the additional time to complete Vernonâs voicemail, now sitting on the edge of his bed while staring out into the early, glimmering rain shower and the water droplets collecting against his window.
Then, Wonwoo glanced down at the laptop he had open.
He hadnât written in⊠months. Not even monthsâit had been over a year since Wonwoo wrote. And, somehow, it felt good not to write.
It felt necessary to step away from the craft.
Besides, writing would always be there. Just because he hadnât filled up a document on his computer with harmoniously arranged words, or penned anything down in the journal he used to scribble poetry in, that didnât make him not a writer. In fact, it could be crucial to know when to step away from somethingâwhen to let go of an invisible weight keeping one from progressing. While he hadnât thought about it in months, it floated to the surface of his mind that there may be something he should let go.
The unfinished book. 01.
Wonwoo deleted it. Simple as that.
Shoving the laptop into his shoulder-sling bag, Wonwoo made sure to knab his journal from the nightstand before he left, just in case anything did excite him with a crack of inspiration as he embarked on his newest chapter with you at his side. Rolling his suitcase hurriedly behind him, Wonwoo rushed out onto the street, feeling the rain graze his hair and skin, while you were leaned against the cab, arms folded and teeth anxiously raking over your bottom lip.
He peppered the cab driver in apologies while he helped shove the suitcase into the trunk.
âLiarââ you grumbled after sliding into the cab, undoing the buttons on your coat, ââyou said one minute, not one lifetime.â
âI know, I know,â Wonwoo laughed, removing his glasses to rub off the mist and dew, âbut that voice mail from Vernon distracted me.â
âLet me do it,â you said, taking his glasses with a sigh, âwe should be fine. I know weâll make it on time⊠I guess Iâm just on edge.â
He watched you massage at the lenses gently with a sleeve. The driver climbed back into the cab, now pulling away from the pottery shop and driving toward the beam of light that sliced through the dense clouds, like the sun was handling a giant blade.
âEverythingâs gonna work out, I promise⊠and I already told you that weâll be staying with Bohyuk first, right? Him and Nari?â
Handing the glasses back to Wonwoo, you nodded.
âYeah⊠godâI hope he likes me.â
âOh, he will. You guys are pretty similar, actually.â
The look you gave him warbled slightly.
âWhat if thatâs a bad thing? Every time you tell me a story about your brother, it usually involves you loathing him for something.â
âThose stories took place years ago.â
âBut the feelings are still there, arenât they?â
Wonwoo settled his hand over top yours, giving your fingers a soothing squeeze. He knew you wanted to make the perfect first impression. After all, first impressions were not something that could be easily taken back or erased, unless the people you were meeting were quite forgiving. And Bohyuk was fortunately the forgiving type.
It was only time that Wonwoo exercise the quality as well.
Leaning in close to your face, Wonwoo gazed into your eyes, watching their frantic nature become still like the surface of a calm pond.
âYouâve got nothing to worry about, alright?â He murmured.
Huffing out an intense, long breath, you nodded.
âAlright⊠can I have a kiss, please?â
Lifting his hand to graze against the side of your cheek, he paused to admire your beauty for a moment, only to properly cup your face and push his lips to yoursâwhich tasted sweet and balmyâbefore feeling you push back firm. He proceeded to give you another soft kiss for good measure, one that cured you to smile all fluttery and coy against his mouth until he was inevitably smiling, too.
In fact, Wonwoo only ever found himself smiling that hard when he was with you.
âEND.
heyyyy :] ramble incoming...
first and foremost, ABOVE ALL ELSE, i just want to say thank you! i know this was a very, very long fic for me to be uploading on tumblr. this site is not the most fanfic friendly (or creation friendly for that matter) so stomaching the fact that this needed to be split up into so many parts was like a dagger to the heart! for those who decided to buckle up and lock into this journey, i honestly thank you so much <3 life was not always kind in the process of writing this (hence the fact it took me 2 years, plus some extra) but i was so dedicated to seeing this story through! a lot of the frustration i was feeling toward myself was funnelled into wonwoo's character, so this is quite personal :3
nonetheless, i hope there's something, even a single thing, someone else can take away from the story as well! both wonwoo and her as characters introduce their own unique themes--wonwoo (at the core) is more so about learning to let go in order to progress, whereas her is about using creative tools to help guide the search for identity. i think that writing has helped me learn a lot about myself (even uncomfy, icky things) so i wanted that to be represented through her.
of course, these are not the only things they stand for! but these are the elements i based their characters on, to which other concepts sprouted from. i also loved the idea of pairing someone as lost and misguided and emotionally stunted as wonwoo with this girl who seems so bossy and firm. at first he doesn't like it, but that was really what he needed to accept some of the flaws holding him back. idk if you're familiar with the EXCUSE ME! HE ASKED FOR NO PICKLES! meme but that's what comes to mind when i think of them xD
additionally: special shout out to vernon. he became a much bigger part of this story than i originally intended. he is in some ways wonwoo's foil. vernon knows he's flawed but that's sorta his strength and what makes him genuine. he witnesses wonwoo's entire journey, so at times he also feels like our role, the "reader" and gives wonwoo some wisdomy parting words without rly knowing it (but that's part of his charm <3 i don't want vernon's emotional intelligence to be underrated, which is also an ode to the conversation wonu & her have back in the museum. wonwoo knows there are different types of intelligence and emotionally he is lackinggg).
also small s/o to seokmin. SORRY! HAD TO DO IT!
this has been my slowest slowburn! i wasn't sure how late they were going to kiss. but i didn't want to force anything. i wanted to add the moment when i felt it was surely right! also, if you haven't yet listened to the playlist and you're curious, i recommend listening to the very last song, writer, by ellie goulding. i've been listening to that song for many years, and one day it hit me how coincidentally her lyrics overlap with some of the fic's storyline!
i think it adds a nice final touch <3
LASTLY!
upon contemplation, i will be uploading this fic to ao3 in the same chaptered format it's been posted here! i realize the convenience to bookmarking on that site (and it also doesn't give people's phones a heart attack when trying to read something lengthy) so i hope that appeases some of you who wish to reread with more leisure! i'll be under the username @/uglypluto!
i'll upload the final chapter (this chapter) to ao3 probably between late sunday & early monday.
THANK YOU x100! đ
this fic is everything and more, i'm so in awe over it that i got encouraged to open a google doc and start writing again myself. from the pacing to the character development, i truly loved reading every part of this story!!!
April Shower | jww x f!reader
Wonwoo meets a lot of people through his career as a travel photographer. Not one of them has ever made him want to stay in one place, until he met you.
Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~12.0k Pairing: jww x f!reader | Genre: romance, meet cute, smut, love at first sight
Story Warnings: alcohol and food mention
Smut Warnings: masturbation mention, dirty talk, dom!wonwoo, bigdick!wonwoo, wonwooâs cold hands, size kink, light thigh slapping, fingering, oral reader rec., overstimulation, slight dumbification, squirting, sexual health/safety talk, unprotected sex (donât do it), cumming on tits
Reader Notes: has breasts and a vagina, like half a foot shorter than wonwoo, wap, has a cycle to track
AN: written for my bestie @sluttywonwooâs birthday! kaili, the light you bring to my life is immeasurable and iâm so lucky iâve gotten to grow with you over the past 7 years đ
Wonwoo draws in a deep, tremulous breath as he raises the camera to his bespectacled eye, wishing not for the first time that he was anywhere but the city of love.Â
This is the second proposal heâs photographed today, the fifth this week, and while heâs always thought himself to be someone who doesnât mind love, heâs starting to grow a bit⊠weary.Â
His hotel room is obviously meant for two, as were many of the pastas and desserts heâs ordered so far. Everywhere he looks, there are people kissing or hugging or holding hands, their ages ranging from teens in puppy love to folks in their golden years shuffling down the street arm in arm, supporting each other as they have for decades.Â
Heâs been working as a travel writer for five years, been single just as long, but this is the first time heâs ever found himself feeling lonely. Heâs usually restless, never wanting to settle in one place, and heâs almost always solo, reluctant to give himself to someone who might want to keep him.Â
Lately, heâs felt a bit differently. Perhaps heâs getting old, outgrowing his bachelor lifestyle. He finds himself wanting to plant roots where before he was nearly offended by the notion of digging any deeper than surface level.Â
Thereâs just something about Verona that begs to be shared, to be experienced with someone else. Maybe itâs the romantic music flowing from the restaurants he passes, maybe itâs the fact that he seems to be the sole single person in this city. Regardless of the cause, he actually feels alone, for the first time in years.Â
Itâs not a feeling he enjoys, or one heâs familiar with, and as he traverses the cobblestone streets, he almost wishes he was holding someoneâs hand instead of the camera heâs carried for most of his life.Â
Wonwoo swears out loud when he feels the first drop of rain. He checked the forecast twice this morning, knowing he would be exploring an area a few miles from his hotel and that he wouldnât be able to return to grab or drop anything off.Â
With the weather appearing to be clear and sunny all day, he left his umbrella in his room and headed out to catch his taxi.Â
He more than regrets that now, the rain starting to pour and his white button down beginning to soak through. He at least brought his water resistant backpack so for now, his camera is safe, but spending the rest of the day in sodden clothes sounds like actual hell.Â
He looks up and down the street frantically, finding only personal residences, not a single shop in sight.Â
Until he looks closer and realizes the building at the end of the row has a sign. He canât read it from this far away, even with his glasses, but the hope is enough to propel him forward.Â
He darts down the street, splashing through puddles and swearing again as he feels water permeate his socks. The store comes into view, the sign becoming clearer and clearer the closer he gets.Â
Storie dâAmore, it reads. Love stories, of course. He shouldnât have expected anything else from the city of love.Â
âItâs open, thank fuck,â Wonwoo murmurs as he wrenches the door open and steps inside, his clothes dripping all over the hardwood floors.Â
He feels terrible tracking rainwater into this store, but he had no other choice. His water resistant bag is only resistant for so long, and his camera is far too valuable to risk.Â
He glances around the small room, looking for the owner so he can apologize and instead finding shelves upon shelves of books. He walks slowly, squelches following each step, and reads over the spines.Â
Heâs shocked to find novels in all kinds of languages, some he recognizes and speaks and some he doesnât. Heâs relatively fluent in five thanks to his years of language classes and traveling, and he has to resist picking up a book in each of the ones he knows.Â
He reaches the end of the first shelf, gasping at the large paned window he finds and gasping even louder at the black, tailless cat lounging on the ledge.Â
The cat pays him little to no mind, lazily peering at him over their shoulder before curling into a small ball. They blink their big peridot eyes a few times and let out a heavy sigh, settling into sleep faster than Wonwoo could ever hope to.Â
Enchanted, he swings his bag around to his front, digging through and pulling out his camera as quietly as possible.Â
Even with the mid-April shower, the light coming in through the window illuminates the subtle white notes in the catâs fur, giving them a glow he begs his camera to capture.Â
He crouches until heâs eye level with the cat, holding his breath as he brings the viewfinder up to his eye and presses down the shutter button.Â
The cat doesnât stir, too deep in slumber to register the quiet click. He takes a few more pictures, trying different angles and light settings until he feels heâs gotten every possible combination.Â
Maybe itâs stupid, but Wonwoo is more excited to share these photos than nearly any others heâs ever taken.Â
Which is why he balks and falls flat on his ass when he hears, âAnubis is a model, youâll owe us royalties for those.âÂ
Eyes wide, he looks around wildly to find the source of the words. Thereâs no one in sight, the store seemingly empty except for him and Anubis.Â
âUp here,â the voice calls out, drawing his eye and making his mouth drop open when he finally notices a spiral staircase leading up to a small loft.Â
He doesnât know how he didnât see it before. He must have been too busy staring at the cat to really take in the rest of the store, and as you slowly step down, he canât tell if youâre amused or annoyed. What he can tell is that youâre the most beautiful person heâs ever seen, and that he suddenly wants to ask if you believe in love at first sight.Â
âI can give you royalties! Please donât make me delete them,â he pleads, far less embarrassed than he should be by the fact that heâs practically on his knees begging a pretty stranger to let him keep photos he took.Â
You reach the landing and make your way toward him, your face unreadable. Heâs surprised when you break into a sweet smile and hold your hand out to him. He hugs the camera close to his chest in response, making you roll your eyes and grab his free hand.Â
The warmth of your touch is a shock to his system, but he holds back the shiver that wants to roll down his spine as you lean back and tug. Still confused, he lets you help him up, feeling self conscious in his damp clothes.Â
He stands a little straighter when he realizes heâs over half a foot taller than you, the height difference giving him back some of his confidence. Heâs not sure it should, especially with the unimpressed look you level at him when you set eyes on the trail he tracked through your store.Â
âIâm so sorry, I can clean it up if you give me supplies,â he offers, fully serious and almost hoping youâll say yes just so he can assuage his guilt.Â
âThese floors have seen worse,â you shrug, leaning down to pet Anubis, and Wonwoo has no idea what that means but heâs not about to ask. He introduces himself instead, shaking the hand still held by yours and repeating your name when you offer it.Â
Heâs only slightly jealous when you pull away and hook your hands under the catâs body to draw him into your arms, though whom heâs jealous of, he doesnât know.Â
He would love to be holding the cat, but he has a sneaking suspicion heâd also love to be held by you.Â
Your hand was so warm, and so soft, and the rest of you looks just as warm and soft, if not more.Â
Anubis snuggles into your arms, his legs stretching and his toes spreading before he tucks them up against your forearm. His eyes go heavy lidded when you start to scratch his head, and now Wonwoo knows who heâs jealous of.Â
He hates to admit it but itâs been years since he let someone touch him, and after just a minute or two of knowing you, heâs already hoping youâll touch him more. He doesnât know if itâs because you hold Anubis so lovingly, so gently, or if itâs because you have this aura about you that soothes him, or if itâs even because he feels this attraction, this draw to you. Maybe itâs all three.Â
All he knows is that something about you makes him want to stay until his clothes are dry and the sun is setting, and then stay a little longer after that. Like for months, or even years, perhaps.Â
Heâs relieved when you ask if heâd like some tea, directing him over to the small fireplace in the back of the store and nodding to one of the chairs. When he sits, you lean down and plop Anubis in his lap, surprise painting your face when he doesnât immediately jump down.Â
âHeâs usually wary of new people,â you hum thoughtfully, watching as the cat gets comfortable on his thighs. He brings his hand up and runs it over his soft fur, beaming up at you when he feels Anubisâs little body start vibrating beneath his palm.Â
âI love him,â Wonwoo admits, his voice grave and his eyes open and true behind his glasses.Â
You just laugh and say, âMe too,â before disappearing behind a door, leaving him alone with your cat.Â
Rain is still barraging the building, the steady sound lulling him into a trance as he pets the sweet being in his lap. The fire warms him quickly, making him realize just how cold he was before, a small shiver attempting to wrack his body again. He keeps it contained to his shoulders, wanting to avoid disturbing Anubis if possible.Â
He tells himself itâs just because he wants him to stay, but if heâs being honest, he also hopes that if you see that your cat likes him, then you will too.Â
Before long, you return with a tray of steaming mugs, one for him and one for you. You set it carefully on the side table between the chairs, telling him, âI would let it steep for two more minutes. Thereâs also biscotti, and some crostini if youâre allergic to nuts.â
âWow, thank you so much,â he breathes, his eyes wide. Heâs run into some very nice people on his travels, but itâs been a while since he was met with such hospitality. Here he is, sitting in front of a blazing fire with tea and snacks waiting for him, after dirtying your shop and taking unapproved pictures of your model cat. Cat model?
âSo, how much do you expect in royalties?â He asks with trepidation, knowing the magazine he works for is pretty big but maybe not big enough to pay residuals for pictures of a cat.Â
You stare at him for a few seconds, squinting your eyes and quirking your head before chuckling, âThat was a joke. Bubby isnât a model, I just think heâs handsome enough to be one.â
âOhhhh.â
Wonwoo feels himself blush, his cheeks and ears flaring red before he forces out a laugh to try to cover his embarrassment. Heâs not used to jokes, usually relying on sarcasm, puns, and situational humor, and heâs a bit ashamed he didnât realize you werenât being serious. He stares down at Anubis, petting him softly so he doesnât have to meet your eyes.Â
âTea should be ready,â you say brightly, picking up your mug with careful hands and kindly allowing him to recover without your gaze on him.
He follows suit, cupping his hands around the hot mug and bringing it to his lips so he can blow gently, huffing when steam fogs up his glasses. He pushes them up into his hair, thinking absentmindedly that he should get it cut soon as he takes his first sip.Â
The flavors bloom on his tongue, mint, orange, cinnamon, honey, and something else he canât put his finger on. Itâs the most comforting tea heâs ever had, and he blinks over at you with misty, blurry eyes, sighing, âWhat is this? I need to buy four tons of it.â
âItâs called Evening Sorrento, itâs one of my favorites,â you smile indulgently, bringing your mug to your lips and drinking slowly before setting it down and reaching for the biscotti.Â
He follows your lead, taking a biscuit and dipping it in his tea like you do. The first bite has him groaning in appreciation, dark chocolate, citrus, and almond blending together flawlessly, the taste only enhanced by the tea.Â
âWhatâs the spiciness from?â He asks curiously, taking another sip to try to figure it out himself.Â
âGinger,â you whisper like itâs a secret. âI candied some and put it in the biscotti, too.â
âYou made these?â He sounds astonished, he knows, but he almost canât wrap his head around someone being able to create something so delicious when all he can do is fry an egg. He still burns it half the time, more scared of undercooking than he is of overcooking.
âYeah, my best friend taught me how, she loves to bake,â you smile sweetly, seemingly pleased to see him enjoying the food you made.Â
Anubis stirs, stretching out on Wonwooâs lap before leaping onto the floor and up into your chair. You murmur, âHi, baby,â and Wonwoo canât help but grin as he watches your cat use your arm to pet himself.Â
He asks how long youâve had him, then for pictures when he learns you rescued him as a kitten, gasping softly at the tiny version of the cat as you swipe through photos. The conversation shifts to Wonwooâs desire to adopt a cat before he explains why he canât, and the way you look genuinely sad for him makes his heart swell.Â
You ask more about his job, about the places heâs been and the things heâs seen, and in turn, he asks how you acquired all of the books in this store. It turns out you have contacts all over the world, friends who send you romance books when they come across them in exchange for a free one when they next come to visit. It seems like the perfect system, allowing you to collect novels in different languages and share them with the people you love.Â
Talking to you is so easy that he doesnât even notice how late itâs grown until you check your phone, a startled expression on your face as you say, âI should have closed half an hour ago.âÂ
He glances at his watch, blanching at the clock staring back at him. Itâs been four hours since he burst into your shop looking for refuge from the downpour, and he doesnât even know if itâs still raining. The sun has long since set, going down around six PM this time of year, which was over two and a half hours ago.Â
He rises swiftly, nervously smoothing out the wrinkles in his slacks and thanking you for your generosity. You stand with him, hugging Anubis to your chest before offering the cat for one last snuggle. Wonwoo takes him carefully, bundling him up against his now dry shirt and smoothing a hand from his head all the way down to the nub at the end of his body.Â
He starts purring immediately, the sound audible even over the crackling of the embers, making you smile softly and tell him, âBubby likes you.â
âI like him,â Wonwoo beams, reluctantly handing the cat over when you stretch your arms out.Â
âYou love him,â you correct with mirth dancing in your eyes as you walk him to the door.
He peeks out, sighing in relief when he finds that the rain has stopped before turning to you. He almost doesnât know what to say, goodbye feeling too final, too formal. He thanks you again instead, dragging his feet now that itâs time to leave.Â
But he doesnât want to be rude, or keep you any longer than he already has, so with one last wave and a scritch under Anubisâs chin, he leaves.Â
You call out, âCome back soon!â and while heâs sure you say that to all your customers, he canât help but feel like you mean it.Â
Wonwoo has a plan for the day: take the train to Venice, splurge on a gondola ride, and capture as many of the historical buildings as he can while the boat is guided through the canals.Â
So why he finds himself standing outside of Storie dâAmore again, he doesnât know.Â
He managed to stay away for two days, hiking all over Verona and taking enough pictures to fill an SD card. He would have made it three if he asked the cab driver to take him to the train station instead of your place of business, but here he is.Â
Some part of him wants to rationalize it. He didnât get any photos of the area because of the rain, just of your (not) model cat, so heâs simply making up for lost time. That still doesnât explain why heâs staring through the paned glass window at the end of your shop, hoping for a glimpse of you or Anubis.Â
Obviously, youâre both here, but he doesnât see either of you, and he also wants to buy a few books to take home, so it only makes sense that he goes into your store.Â
Heâs dry this time, thankfully, though he wonders if that means you wonât offer him tea and biscotti again. He can see a few people milling about, pulling books off the shelves to read the summaries and either placing them into mismatched baskets or putting them back.Â
He does the same, searching for novels in the languages he knows with the intent of buying one of each. Heâs gathered Italian, French, and English when he feels something rub against his leg, looking down to find a black cat staring up at him.Â
âAnubis!â Wonwoo grins, leaning down to set the basket to the side so he can pick up his little friend. Holding him to his chest, he feels his heart warm as the purring starts, not even a little mad about the black fur accumulating on his shirt.Â
âOh!âÂ
He hears you gasp and glances up, smiling shyly at you and shifting to hold Anubis with one arm so he can send you a wave that only feels a little awkward.Â
âI didnât think youâd come back,â you say, stepping closer to him and taking in the basket at his feet and backpack slung over his shoulder.Â
âYou told me to,â he shrugs sheepishly, suddenly fearing that, âCome back soon,â is something you just say to everyone.Â
âI didnât think you actually would. I thought youâd be gone by now, on to the next destination.âÂ
He canât tell if youâre happy to see him or not, but you havenât kicked him out yet so he doesnât plan on going anywhere.Â
âThe next destination can wait. I needed something to read on the plane anyway.âÂ
âLooks like you found more than just something,â you chuckle, peering closer to check out the titles heâs gathered so far. âAll good choices,â you smile up at him, and he feels something unlock in his chest to make space for you.Â
âCan I take you out on a date?â He blurts out, his eyes widening and his free hand flying up to cover his mouth. The words escaped without his permission, but he canât say he wants to take them back.Â
You tilt your head and look at him for a little while, like youâre searching for something, and you must find it because your smile grows before you nod and say, âI can close early tonight. Does seven work for you?âÂ
âIt works perfectly,â he breathes after lowering his hand, his heart racing and his body feeling warm for once.Â
A customer calls out your name, making you glance over before you turn back and say, âLeave your books at the register and meet me here later?âÂ
He can only nod, grinning too wide to manage any words.Â
âDonât take my cat, I love that little guy,â you warn him playfully (he thinks) and spin to find the source of the voice. He can hear you speaking in rapid French, easily translating it in his head without even meaning to. Theyâre asking for your help in choosing between two books, one a tragedy and one a comedy.Â
You go over the pros and cons of each genre and offer your own personal opinions on the specific books, making Wonwoo wonder if youâve read every novel in here. You seemed to recognize the books in his basket and you apparently know the ones this customer is talking about; maybe you read them as you receive them?Â
But there are so many, thereâs just no way, he thinks, letting Anubis wriggle out of his arms to follow you. He supposes thatâs something he can ask you at dinner, the thought bringing a pleased little smile to his face.Â
He selects his last two books and wanders over to the checkout counter, stashing his basket on the stool behind it before heading out to get pictures of the neighborhood while he can.Â
Heâll be busy tonight, after all.
Wonwoo returns to your shop five minutes before the clock strikes seven.Â
He slips in without your notice, making his way to his favorite window and sitting down on the ledge next to Anubis to scroll through the pictures he took while he was out. The cat just sprawls a bit more so his feet are touching Wonwooâs thigh, the tiny points of connection warming him from the inside out.Â
He captured another proposal today, but this one didnât leave a hollow feeling in his chest like the others. Now that heâs thinking about it, neither did any of the couples he passed. He was able to truly appreciate all of them without that sense of bitter loneliness, and he can only attribute that to meeting you.Â
An unbidden smile stretches his lips as he thinks about the time he spent sitting by that fire with you, talking about anything that came to mind. Itâs been months since he spent four straight hours with someone, just talking. Itâs been years since he wanted to.Â
A tiny part of him fears he only feels this way because heâs been so lonely, but the rest of him knows heâd be enamored with you no matter what state he was in.Â
This is only confirmed when you round the bookshelf and come to a stop in front of him, an emerald green dress swishing over your thighs and a smile brightening your face. You cleared the store in the time he spent reminiscing, leaving the room empty but for you, Wonwoo, and Anubis.
The air feels tense, heavy with something Wonwoo canât quite identify. Itâs only when he rises to his feet and finds himself closer to you than he meant to be that he realizes that something is potential.Â
Itâs the same rush of anticipation that fills his chest when he lines up a shot he knows will be incredible, when he finishes climbing a hill and sees the perfect sunset waiting for him, when he finally finds the words to describe the indescribably beautiful. The fact that heâs feeling it now, with you, tells him everything he needs to know.Â
His previous fear of meeting someone who would want to keep him has become a dream, a wish that he can only hope will come true, because now Wonwoo knows he wants you to take hold of him and never let go.Â
âCan I kiss you?â He asks, his voice so full of longing, itâs almost embarrassing.Â
âBefore the first date? The scandal!â You say dramatically, feigning offense and lightly tapping him on the chest. He gasps at the contact and covers your hand with his, pressing it flat to his pec so you can feel his speeding heart.Â
You must realize how serious he is, how desperate, because the playful smile falls from your face, your gaze darting between his eyes and his lips. He feels himself flush under your attention, his ears and the back of his neck hot as you stare up at him.Â
âYes, Wonwoo. You can kiss me,â you breathe softly, your face tilting up and your eyelashes fluttering as he begins to lean down. This moment feels monumental for some reason, like something heâll remember for the rest of his life, and as he cups your face and carefully presses his lips to yours, he figures out why.Â
Everything about kissing you feels right, as if all of his jagged pieces have fallen into place, as if this is what he was destined for, as if the fates connected him to you with an invisible, unbreakable string.Â
He wasnât restless, he wasnât a bachelor, he was just waiting for you.Â
Suddenly his smile is too broad for him to keep kissing you, giddiness flowing through his veins as he pulls back and rests his forehead against yours. He leaves his hands on your face, brushing his thumb over the curve of your cheekbone before biting back his grin and kissing you one, two, three more times.Â
He feels shy when he takes a step back, letting one hand fall to catch yours and squeezing like itâs a lifeline.Â
âWas that⊠life-changing for you too?â Wonwoo asks quietly, scared to pop the bubble heâs found himself in with you.Â
âMaybe,â you whisper, vulnerability evident in your voice though your face gives nothing away. âWe should get going.â
âYeah, yes, we should,â he lets you pull away even though it physically pains him, following when you tug him to the door with the hand heâs still holding.Â
He doesnât know what just happened, why you closed yourself off, but heâll give you the space you seem to need, sure that if he pushes it will only make you freeze up more. For now, heâll take you to that romantic riverfront restaurant he passed earlier and encourage you to order any and everything you like.Â
You ease up a bit after a glass of wine and some shared appetizers, the smile on your face genuine again though your light still seems dimmer than it was before. You ask him a lot of questions but donât offer up much information in return, keeping your responses short and to the point.Â
It doesnât disrupt the flow of conversation at all, thankfully; Wonwoo and you are compatible enough that itâs easy to bounce from one topic to another. Thereâs never a pause, never a moment where he doesnât know what to say, and even with you being more withdrawn than expected, he still laughs himself to tears more than once.Â
Itâs late by the time he pays the bill and walks you home, which heâs learned is the building right above your shop. There arenât many people out, and though he startled you when he took your hand in his, he continues to hold it the whole way back. Youâve gone quiet again, pensive, making him wonder if heâs done something wrong, or, worse, if you regret kissing him.Â
You only started acting like this after he pressed his lips to yours, after he asked if it was life-changing for you like it was for him.Â
He doesnât know what else it could be, unless you figured out you just donât feel the same way about him as he does about you. His heart drops into his stomach at the thought, his fingers subconsciously clenching around yours, making you glance up at him in concern.Â
He stares forward resolutely, not ready to see confirmation of his fears in your gaze.Â
By the time that big window and Anubisâs sleeping body come into view, Wonwoo has convinced himself that you feel nothing but friendship for him and simply donât know how to say it.Â
Still, he canât help but try, one last time.Â
âDo you think I could see you again before I go? Iâve got plenty of pictures and I fly out tomorrow night, so my day is clear.â
You take a second to think about it, your eyes shuttering as if you donât want him to see the thoughts behind them, before you answer solemnly, âI donât think thatâs a good idea.â
âOh,â he breathes out, feeling like all the air has been pulled out of his lungs. âYou donât⊠think itâs a good idea. Okay, Iâll, um, Iâll just go, then.â
He canât even make himself look at you, knowing that his mouth is pinched in the way it does when heâs trying not to cry. He squeezes your hand once more before disentangling his fingers from yours, taking a step back, and turning to walk away so you canât see him lift up his glasses and rub at his burning eyes.Â
He doesnât get far before you call out his name.Â
âWonwoo! I⊠Itâs because youâre leaving,â you sound as close to tears as he feels, your voice plaintive and fragile.Â
He stops short and chews on his lip, swiping at his face with rough hands as your footsteps sound on the cobblestones. You let him stay where he is but he feels your fingers clench in the back of his shirt, like youâre afraid heâll still walk away.Â
That touch is enough for him to turn around, his hand catching yours as it falls and his heart stuttering at the sheen of tear tracks on your face. He brings his other hand up to brush his thumb under your eye, sweeping away a freshly fallen drop.Â
âIs that why you said maybe, after I kissed you?â He asks in a gentle, low tone, less fearful of the answer now.Â
âYes. This has an expiration date, I donât get to keep you. I couldnât admit that just one kiss had me ready to sell my shop, buy a new cat carrier, and join you on the road,â you laugh softly in a self-deprecating way, avoiding his gaze again like youâre embarrassed.Â
âY/n, when I said it was life-changing for me, I meant it. As in, I would change my life for you. I can transfer to the Italian branch, go on shorter assignments, find a place here. You can keep me.â
âWonwoo, I canât ask you to do all that for me. I mean, we only met a few days ago, how do you know you wonât regret this?â You sound reluctant to accept his offer, but it seems to be coming from a place of worry for him instead of a lack of feeling, and he can work with that.
âIâve been thinking about settling down anyway, I just needed a sign. Meeting you was that sign, and getting to know you like this has only made me more and more sure. Please, all you have to do is believe in me.â
Finally, you meet his eyes, searching them like you did when he asked you out, and once again, you find what youâre looking for. A watery smile stretches your lips as you step closer to him and up onto your tiptoes, wrapping your free arm around his neck and pulling him into a hug.Â
His eyelids flutter shut, his arm vining around your waist and hauling you up against his body so you can feel his galloping heart. He presses his lips to the top of your head and breathes you in, finding your scent absolutely intoxicating.Â
Itâs fruity like pomegranate but sweet and floral too, reminding him of the lotus flowers he stumbled across in the southern Himalayas. Thereâs an underlying warmth, a natural musk that makes him wonder if youâre wearing perfume or if you just smell like this on your own.Â
He doesnât really care either way, not now that he has you so close, your joined hands coming up to rest against his shoulder and your body relaxing into his. You stay like that until his heart returns to a somewhat normal pace, before he pulls away just far enough to look down at you. He tugs his hand free so he can cup your face, whispering, âIâm gonna kiss you again, okay?âÂ
âPlease do,â you whisper back, taking in a shuddering breath just before he locks his lips with yours. You sigh it out into his mouth and he swallows it like itâs a benediction, your tongue dragging against his as he kisses you and kisses you and kisses you.Â
Heâs about to let out a groan when a wooden shutter bangs against the stone building above, a loud voice shouting, âPrendi una stanza!â
âĂ la cittĂ dell'amore, Stefano, dacci una pausa!â You break away to shout back, grinning at Wonwooâs flaming cheeks.Â
âY/n? Vai avanti, caro!â The shutter snaps closed again and Wonwoo bends over in a full body laugh, clutching his stomach as his abs flex with mirth. Youâre not laughing like he is, but you are watching with affection and only the slightest bit of embarrassment.Â
When heâs finally regained his composure, he straightens and wipes at his cheeks again, crying for a completely different reason than before. You smile up at him fondly, reaching out to fix his hair and asking, âSince youâre free tomorrow, do you want to come up for some coffee?â
Wonwoo doesnât know if youâre really offering refreshments or if the coffee is a euphemism for something else, but either way, itâs an easy answer.Â
âOf course I do.â
Anubis starts meowing as soon as you unlock the door to your shop, loping over on graceful paws and weaving between your feet.Â
âYou had your dinner, why are you shouting at me?â You ask as you crouch to pick him up, holding him like a baby and scratching at his stomach gently.Â
âMaybe he missed you?â
You mull it over for a little bit, nodding your head in acceptance and admitting, âI donât usually go out at night, so maybe he did.â
âIs that why your neighbor was fine with us making out as soon as he figured out it was you?âÂ
You lightly jab him in the stomach with your elbow and he pretends to be mortally wounded, stumbling and groaning dramatically as if heâd been hit with an arrow instead.Â
He supposes he has been, but it was one of Cupidâs, not one of yours.Â
Anubis twists out of your arms and you let him, locking the entrance to your store and leading Wonwoo to the back. You unlock one of the doors with a huff of exertion and a jiggle of the handle, turning to say, âOld building,â before pushing the door open and letting Anubis dart up the staircase in front of you. Wonwoo jerks the door closed and locks it with the key you hand him, following you up the stairs in near darkness.Â
The room you lead him into is a bit smaller than your store, containing a compact kitchen and warm living room flanked by a wall with two doors. âBathroom is on the right, if you need it.â
He slips off his shoes and excuses himself to freshen up, taking care of his business and washing his hands quickly. Chancing a look in the mirror, Wonwoo finds that heâs flushed, aglow with infatuation, his smile irrepressible and wider than ever. He almost canât look himself in the eye, knowing that all heâd find is adoration for you, and perhaps a bit of nervousness.Â
He doesnât know what to expect now, doesnât know if this is leading where he thinks it is or how to act in whatever case. But, not wanting to keep you waiting, he opens the door and shuts off the light, finding you sitting at your dining table with a full french press and two mugs in front of you.Â
He wants to speed over but he strolls instead, trying to appear at least a little unaffected. That facade is broken when he stops a few feet from the table, suddenly unsure of whether he should sit next to you or opposite from you.Â
Blessedly, you make the choice for him, sliding one mug across the table before smoothly depressing the plunger of the french press.Â
The rich smell of coffee permeates the air as you gracefully pour, filling his cup with the steaming, dark liquid before filling yours. âIs black okay? I have sugar and oat milk, if you need them.â
âBlack is great, thank you.â
Heâs acclimated to the bitterness enough to appreciate the deeper notes, though itâs only because he was once too shy to ask for sugar. He sips carefully, wondering with a satisfied hum if this really is the best coffee heâs ever had or if he just thinks that because you made it for him.Â
You fall into an easy chat, discussing pictures he took and customers you had while he was out and about, before you bite your lip and stare down into your coffee like itâll give you strength.Â
âWonwoo, can I ask you something⊠personal?âÂ
Your eyes slowly return to his, and the heat in your gaze makes him want to pop open a few buttons on his shirt and fan himself. Â
âSure,â he says, with only a little trepidation.Â
âWhat are you like in bed?â
Oh.Â
Oh. You want to know what heâs like in bed.Â
Have you thought about what heâs like in bed? Have you thought about being in bed with him? Have you thought about him and touched yours-
He should answer you before he lets himself get carried away.
âUm, Iâm a little different, I suppose. I like to be more⊠dominant. Maybe a bit rougher than I may seem,â his voice is hushed, and he wants to look away from the intensity of your stare, but he finds he canât. Itâs like youâve hypnotized him, entranced him with a single question.Â
âIs there anything specific that you like?â
This conversation, he likes this conversation. A lot. He can feel his slacks tightening with it, his heart thumping far too hard to be healthy and his mind starting to offer up ideas so fast he can barely make sense of them.Â
Theyâre mostly images, sensations, feelings, all modeled after you.Â
âI like,â he begins slowly. âI like being in control. I think Iâd like holding you down, making you take what Iâm giving you. I like talking,â he chuckles wryly, before continuing.
âI like listening too. I wouldnât want you to hold back, Iâd want to hear every little noise I could pull out of you. And I think Iâd really like using my hands first, making you cum until you cry. Or until you beg for my cock.â
You suck in a ragged breath and glance away before looking back at him. Finally, he can read you, desire obvious on your face and in the tight knuckled grip you have on your mug.Â
You set it down cautiously, aware of the still scalding coffee inside, and push away from the table to stand. Wonwoo watches you walk around to his side, his gaze fighting to stay on your face and not on the way your dress moves over your thighs as you get closer and closer to him.Â
You stop just a foot away, holding your hand out and waiting for him to take it with a slight air of impassioned impatience. He places his hand in yours and rises to his feet, valiantly ignoring the view of your breasts from this angle and following you when you turn and begin tugging him to the door on the left.Â
âAre we done talking?â Wonwoo asks, exhilarated and aroused, his dick hardening so quickly it leaves him feeling dizzy.Â
âNot even a little bit,â you breathe, pushing the door open and facing him again as you walk backwards towards your bed.Â
He crosses the few steps between you, crowds you up to the edge of the bed and pushes you to lay down with a gentle hand on your shoulder. His hands wonât stay gentle for long, and he hopes you understand what youâve gotten yourself into.Â
âIf you donât like something I do, tell me,â he whispers before leaning down and taking hold of your legs, pulling them apart and filling the space in between with his hips.Â
âI will,â you gasp as he grinds against you, your dress pooled at the top of your thighs, just barely exposing your black panties. âBut I donât think Iâll need to.âÂ
I like everything you do.Â
You donât say it but he hears it anyway, the corner of his mouth lifting in a soft smirk before he braces his hands on either side of your head and moves in close. He doesnât kiss you yet, just watches the way your eyelids flutter shut and your lips pout in preparation. You peek an eye open when he continues to hold himself away from you, your hand rising to cup his neck and attempt to tug him down to you.Â
The second your fingers come into contact with him, he shifts his weight to one hand and grips your wrist with the other, pushing it down to the bed and holding it there. You bite back a smile, wriggle beneath him to get more comfortable, and drape your other hand above your head.Â
That, he likes, and he rewards you by releasing your wrist and dragging his fingers up your inner thigh instead, digging them into the warm, soft flesh and groaning when he comes into contact with your panties. Theyâre soaking, so much wetter than he expected, and when he cups his big, cold hand over the seat of them, you shiver and buck up into his touch.Â
âHow long has it been for you?â Wonwoo asks, as if it hasnât been literal years for him.Â
âUm, a while, itâs been⊠a while,â you admit, seemingly shy for the first time. He should reassure you, but he likes the way you shrink beneath him, likes even more the thought of being your first in however long. He plans on being your last for the foreseeable future, so itâs only right heâs the one to break your dry spell.Â
âGood,â he grins wickedly down at you, pulling your panties to the side and letting his fingers glide through your arousal. Youâre soft, and sopping wet, and hot, so fucking hot, just for him, and already heâs wondering if heâll be able to make good on his words.
If heâll be able to hold himself back from you long enough to make you beg for it.Â
Heâll do his best though, for you, and that starts with not grinding himself into your thigh. He needs to forget about his own pleasure, focus solely on yours, or heâll be balls deep inside you before heâs even made you cum once.Â
That wonât do, not when he wants you writhing on his fingers and pleading for his cock.Â
So he pulls his hips away from you and tucks the tip of one digit into your entrance, sliding it in slowly enough that your face crumples in impatience, a low whine escaping you when he just leaves it there and drags his thumb over your clit.Â
He wants to take his time, wants to learn you with his hands and his teeth and his tongue, wants to catalog your reactions and be able to take you apart diligently, passionately, like you deserve.Â
This teaches him that you donât like to be teased, and he decides to shelve the idea of edging for another day. Heâll go with overstimulation instead, he thinks, working another finger inside and rubbing more firmly with his thumb. Your face relaxes, your mouth opening on a sigh, and Wonwoo canât resist leaning down to suck at your plump bottom lip as he curls his fingers inside of you, not yet searching for the spot that will make you gush for him.Â
Heâll find it when heâs ready, when he feels like heâs built you up enough, and then heâll use it to push you over the edge as many times as you can take. For now, heâll savor the taste of your noises and start stretching out your perfect cunt.Â
He pulls away from your mouth, fully aware that he could get lost in your kiss and intent on talking to you more before he lets that happen.Â
âYou feel so fucking good wrapped around my fingers like this. You know that, donât you? You know how your cunt hugs them, sucks them in deeper and deeper, because you touch yourself, right?âÂ
You nod and Wonwoo allows it, wonât make you follow all of his rules until next time, until heâs sure you can handle it.Â
âDid you touch yourself for me that night? After we met?â He asks softly, rewarding you with a tap right into your sweet spot when you cry out, âYes!âÂ
âDid you say my name when you came?â His fingers pick up speed inside of you, fucking in and out to the beat of his own pounding heart.Â
âYes, Wonwoo,â you whimper, your hands twisting in the sheets above your head and your eyes squeezing shut before he pulls his fingers out and lands a wet smack on your inner thigh. You gasp and try to close your legs but Wonwoo is stronger than you, holds them open with both hands before leaning in close to kiss the stinging skin and say, âKeep your eyes on me.â
You nod tearily, holding his gaze as he sinks his fingers back inside of you and hovers close enough to your pussy that heâs sure you can feel his breath. He quirks his fingers up just as his tongue makes contact with your clit, and the way your lashes flutter but donât fall brings a proud smirk to his face.Â
âYouâre a good listener, arenât you?â He murmurs into your cunt. You start to answer but then he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks, and you shudder out a moan instead. The sound sends electricity zipping down his spine and straight into his cock, making it throb for you in his slacks.Â
He ignores it, shifting to rest on his knees and sucking harder, grinding his fingertips up into your front wall so he can draw that same sound out of you again. He told you before that he wanted to hear every little noise he could pull from you, and he meant it, including noises that donât come from your mouth.Â
Youâre getting so wet, he can hear it, his fingers squelching inside of you with every thrust, every curl. He doesnât remember his past partners being so aroused, and heâs already obsessed, already dead set on making you fucking drench him.Â
He knows all he needs to do is make you cum and youâll give him exactly what he wants, so he taps into your g-spot with more force, fucking his fingers into you hard and fast until your cries reach a fever pitch and your back arches. He doesnât stop, dragging you through your orgasm and pushing you further even as your cunt ripples and squeezes around his fingers, the sensation so intense he almost feels the phantom pulse of you around his dick, too.Â
It makes him groan, a deep, dark sound muffled by your pussy, and that seems to be what sends you careening over the edge again, your thighs attempting to clamp shut around him. He lightly smacks one with his free hand, gripping the soft fat and pushing it up and out so he has enough room to work. The other settles on his shoulder but he doesnât mind that, likes the weight of it, wants you to feel stable and secure as he takes you apart piece by piece.Â
Youâre writhing on his hand, just like he wanted, your gaze teary and nearly empty, like your beautiful brain is focused on him and him alone, and ohhhh, he likes that, he likes that a lot. He wants to wreck you, wants to leave you with nothing in your head but thoughts of him and when heâll make you break again.Â
He doesnât know if you can, but heâs desperate to see you flood him, to make you squirt all over him, regardless of the fact that this shirt is dry clean only. Heâll scrub it out in the sink if he has to, doesnât care what happens to the fibers if it means he can make you cum hard enough to ruin them.Â
Youâre getting close again, he thinks with lurid satisfaction, his hand a blur between your thighs. He pulls away to murmur, âHold your leg for me,â waiting for understanding to spark in your eyes. You wrap your hand beneath your knee and manage a wobbly smile, and Wonwoo feels affection burst in his chest like a firework, his lips curving in response as he brings his now free hand to your cunt.Â
His fingers push at the crest of your pussy, exposing your swollen clit for his thumb to cover, the pad of it pressing down and rubbing harsh circles. Your eyebrows furrow and your eyes water, your mouth stuck open on a needy moan that grows louder with every tap of your g-spot. Itâs a whine soon enough, one that hitches in your throat as he fucks you with his fingers, and when he grinds his fingertips deep into you, he sees alarm grow in your eyes.Â
You try to warn him but you canât seem to speak, only blubbers of his name gracing his ears, making him grin ferally and say, âDonât worry, baby, I want it to happen. I want you to fucking soak me, now.â
He honestly didnât expect that to work but apparently, you can cum on command, or, as he tells himself, on his command, because you suck in a deep breath and keen for him. Your cunt flutters wildly around his fingers, clenching down on them and sucking them in before tightening to the point that he canât move them, his fingertips locked into your sweet spot as you fucking gush.Â
He can feel it spraying out onto his face and dampening his button down, arousal flowing out of you like a rushing river, making him groan out, âFuck yes, just like that.âÂ
His voice is gravelly and low, desire deepening its pitch, and you shiver above him, though that may have more to do with the thumb still strumming your clit and the fingers still plugging you up.Â
He could go again but he doesnât want to push you too far this first night, doesnât know where your limits lay or if youâre ready for him to find out for himself, so when your walls finally release his fingers, he slowly pulls them out and gently cups your pussy to help you calm down.Â
Heâs surprised when you speak, and even more shocked that itâs enough to make him laugh out loud.Â
âAll that and you didnât even take my dress off,â you mumble, letting go of your thigh and reaching down to drift a hand over his hair, petting him like heâs an animal youâve domesticated.Â
Maybe he is, and maybe you have. Youâre the only one thatâs ever made him want to stay, to plant roots, to be domestic.Â
Fondly, he says, âI did that on purpose. Now whenever you wear it, youâll think about me.â
âI donât need the dress to think about you, Wonwoo, I promise you that,â you hum, letting your eyes slip closed and missing the way his gaze fills with infatuation as he rests his cheek on your thigh and wraps his hands around your ankles.Â
His glasses are splattered with you and so is the rest of him, his cock is hard and aching and leaky, and his knees are all but decimated from kneeling on your wood floor for so long, but Wonwoo has never been happier in his life.Â
âWill you fuck me now?âÂ
His brows raise in disbelief, his fingers twitching on your legs, and he stands as quickly as he can manage, bracing one hand beside your head and taking hold of your chin with the other. You blink open your eyes to look at him, the haze in them just a bit clearer, though heâs sure your thoughts are still clouded with pleasure.Â
âYou still want me?â He asks in full seriousness, his dick pulsing at the thought of feeling your flawless cunt wrapped around it.Â
âYeah, you gonna make me beg?â You murmur, your gaze just a touch defiant.Â
He wants to fuck that rebelliousness out of you.Â
âI said Iâd like to, didnât I?â He responds slowly, greed simmering in his veins and surely obvious on his face.Â
Your eyes narrow before you visibly collect yourself, finding that submissive side you seemed to lean into before. He watches as you let it take over, shrinking beneath him somehow, the expression on your face needy and compliant.
âPlease Wonwoo, please give me your cock. Iâve thought about it since we met, since I noticed how built you were under that soaking white shirt. Your shoulders are so broad and your hands are so big and youâre so much taller than me. All I wanted was for you to pin me down and fuck me however you liked, and thatâs still all I want.â
He sucks in a deep breath through his nose, carefully concealing how fucking wild your words make him feel. He needs to maintain this illusion of control or youâll gain the upper hand, and he canât let that happen. Heâs already going to give you exactly what you want, heâll die before he lets you be smug about it too.Â
It takes everything in him but he manages to pull away, releasing your chin and standing at his full height, a smirk rising at the way your hands leave their place above your head to cling to him.Â
âGet up. Take your dress off,â he commands stoically, backing up and giving you space to push off the bed onto your feet. Your hands tremble as you reach for the hem, and in a brief moment of tenderness, he covers them with his and lifts it with you, laughing and helping you wrench it off when it gets stuck at the elbows.Â
He stops laughing when you fling the dress onto the chair in the corner of your room and stare up at him, clad in just your skewed panties and a little bitten off grin. His eyes fall to your breasts, the shape and weight of them immaculate, just begging for his mouth. He fully plans on worshiping them at the next possible opportunity, but heâs got a different goal in mind now. His hands gravitate to your hips, fingertips tucking in the waistband of your underwear and pulling them down before returning to push you gently toward the bed.Â
âLay down for me.â
Wonwoo doesnât know why heâs being soft on you now. Heâs still hard enough to cut glass but something in him just canât be harsh when he feels like he does about you, especially after you already took what he gave you so well. Maybe itâs the vulnerable look in your eyes, maybe itâs the way his heart feels three sizes too big for his chest.Â
But maybe itâs because when he looks back on your first time together, he doesnât want it to look like his previous encounters. He wants it to look like a couple that loves each other, that knows they want to be together, that will make sacrifices for each other.Â
Obviously, dominating you can still look like that, but right now his soul aches to be gentle with you. Emotionally, at least.Â
Heâs still going to fuck you into your mattress, heâll just be kinder about it.Â
You can tell that something has shifted in him and somehow it makes you even more pliant, your face open as you patiently wait for his next instruction. He doesnât give one yet, reaching up to take his glasses off and wipe away the drying release with the edge of his button down before setting them on your night stand.Â
He works on getting naked, swiftly unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off, carelessly letting it float down to the floor as he undoes his pants. He removes his socks next, pairing them up and dropping them to the side before pushing down his boxer briefs.Â
It occurs to him that you havenât talked about safety at all, and as he climbs over you, his thick, leaking dick dragging against your skin, he asks, âDo we need a condom?â
You swear under your breath and look down, biting your lip before whispering, âIâm not on birth control, and I have condoms but I honestly donât think theyâll fit you. Do you have any?âÂ
He swears too, remembering the expired one in his wallet and sighing, âNot one that we could use. I get tested regularly and Iâm negative for everything, but what do you wanna do?âÂ
âUm, well⊠I havenât had sex since I last got tested and everything was clear, so what if you pull out? I track my cycle and Iâm not ovulating right now.â
Itâs risky, and sex without a condom isnât something Wonwooâs ever had, but he wants you more than anything, and he believes in his ability to honor your wishes and pull out when he needs to.Â
âLetâs do that this one time, and Iâll get condoms for the future,â he agrees, smiling at the way your eyes get brighter when he says âfutureâ.Â
He settles back into his role seamlessly, though this time, heâs less domineering and more caring, to be sure. Your legs are already spread for him, but he slips his hands under your knees and tucks them up to your chest, resting your calves on his shoulders and setting one hand on the bed to hold himself up.Â
The other reaches for his dick, and he fights back a shiver at the chill of his own touch, his perpetually cold hands freezing compared to his searing hot cock. He canât help but lay it over your pussy, feeling his ears and the back of his neck tingle with a blush when he estimates where heâll end inside of you.Â
You squirm beneath him and he brings his hands back to your thighs, pulling his hips back enough to notch the head of his dick in your entrance before starting to push inside. Youâre tight like this, all folded up, but your walls part to welcome him like heâs a missing piece of you, like heâs always been meant to fill you up when youâre empty.Â
He moves slowly, not to tease you but to savor you, luxuriating in the feeling of your velvet heat, your perfect cunt as it forms around him. It could be minutes or hours before he bottoms out, but when he does, he almost canât think, heâs so consumed by sensation.Â
He closed his eyes without realizing it, and now he forces them open, only to find you already staring up at him, your gaze unwavering and your hands coming up to hold his where they push at your thighs.Â
You seem breathless, and itâs probably partly due to the position but Wonwoo prefers to think itâs because youâre as overwhelmed as he is, so wrought with pleasure that it toes the line of pain.Â
Youâre still shorter than him, even like this, so he has to curve down to kiss you but itâs worth it because you bloom for him, moaning into his mouth and clenching around his cock when he glides his tongue against yours. With your lips still pressed to his, he draws his hips back a few inches, enough to feel air cling to the wetness on his cock, before thrusting inside sharply. His hips meet your ass with a loud smack, the only other noise in the room being your muffled whimpers and the wet sound of his lips moving against yours.Â
Again, he pulls out, almost to the tip this time, and sends his hips forward, grunting at the feeling of your cunt embracing him. Itâs perfection, youâre perfection, and he resolves to be nothing but perfect for you too.Â
He swallows your sounds and categorizes them; you whimper when he pulls out far and thrusts in deep, moan when he just grinds himself into you, yelp when he fucks you with sharp, fast bucks of his hips. He follows their lead like heâs untying a knot or working through a maze, methodically dismantling you down to your nuts and bolts.Â
Youâre barely kissing him back when he finally derives the best combination of pace and depth, your lips quivering against his as you whine continuously, the pitch rising every time he reaches the end of you. Your eyes are open but theyâre glazed over, and he canât tell if heâs fucked you dumb or fucked you to tears but either way, it makes his lips stretch in a vicious grin.Â
He loves kissing you but thatâs not whatâs happening anymore, so he pulls away and puts more of his weight on your thighs, using the leverage to fuck into you harder. He doesnât go faster, knowing that if he does, this will end far sooner than he wants it to.Â
Heâd like to draw at least one more orgasm from you before he cums, and he canât do that if heâs got even more friction on his cock. Heâs a little surprised there is any with how wet you are, but youâre perfectly matched to his size so your walls grasp him tight every time he pulls back, the drag of them flawless on his sensitive skin.Â
Your sounds are louder now that heâs not muffling them with his mouth, melodic in his ears and something he knows heâll reproduce in his mind again and again, whenever heâs away from you and feeling particularly lonely.Â
Heâll have to cut down on his traveling now that heâs got you, but that doesnât scare him like it used to. Instead, heâs excited to have someone who makes him want to stay and build a home, build a life. He kind of feels like this is the first step, making you his and giving himself to you in return, and itâs enough to make his cock twitch and leak just a little bit of precum inside of you.Â
He takes that for the warning it is, consciously veering away from thoughts of domesticity and belonging before dedicating the whole of his body to making you cum. He pushes away from you to sit up on his knees and haul your ass into his lap, your calves still resting on his shoulders and his dick just barely inside of you.Â
He angles his hips and thrusts back in shallowly, no longer hitting as deep but aiming the head of his cock at that innervated patch inside of you. Your eyes grow wide and you suck in a deep gasp, your fingers clenching around his where they hold your legs, your reaction letting him know heâs got you.Â
He fucks into that spot relentlessly, wondering if he can make you cum with just his cock. He stimulated your clit before too but you feel like youâre getting close, and he doesnât want to change something trying to help only to hinder you instead.Â
He doesnât have much time to think before youâre crying out his name urgently, your tone plaintive and your voice thin. It sounds like youâre right on the edge, looks like it too, your brows screwed up in pleasure and your eyes bright with bliss. Heâs almost as close as you are, his orgasm spooled up at the base of his spine and ticking like a time bomb, just waiting for him to let himself go.Â
âCum, baby,â he pants, hoping beyond hope that youâll listen and obey just one more time. He doesnât know how much longer he can hold on, prays that heâll be able to endure the euphoria your climax will bring, that he wonât have to ruin it by pulling out while youâre deep in its thrall.Â
But you do listen, thank fuck, you do, your eyes rolling back and your cunt clamping down on him in a vise grip, the sheer heat and wetness of you enough to pull a strangled groan from deep in his throat. It takes everything in him not to cum with you, the feeling incredible and the sight just as glorious, the impact of both beyond the realm of imagination.Â
He lasts just long enough to get you through your aftershocks, his chest heaving for air as he makes himself pull out of the eden of your cunt. Blood rushes in his ears and fluffy cotton candy fills his head, his thoughts no more than paper airplanes gliding on a warm breeze. He watches his cum cover your perfect tits in white stripes, feeling as if heâs out of his body and out of his mind.Â
Your hands squeeze his and you breathe his name, slowly pulling him back to you, like heâs a balloon thatâs floated away and youâve miraculously caught his string. Youâre blurry in his vision and he canât tell if itâs because he doesnât have his glasses on or if heâs just crying, but either way he releases your legs and leans in close to see you better.Â
You cup his cheeks and pull him into a soft kiss, the soothing, reassuring pressure bringing him back down to earth, back to you. He should be the one taking care of you right now, but he feels like heâs been cracked open, his soul and his heart bare, unprotected.Â
âYouâre okay,â you whisper, petting his cheekbones with your thumbs, and thatâs what restarts him.Â
He presses his lips to yours ardently, gathering up all of his feelings and pouring them into you, the intensity drawing a gentle sigh that travels from your mouth to his. He breathes it in before pulling away and focusing on you.
Lying down next to you, he pulls you into his arms, uncaring of the sticky cum that smears on his chest when your breasts press against him. He holds you for a while, until his heartbeat feels close to normal and his head feels close to clear. Heâs about to drift off when he remembers how dirty you both still are.
âDo you want to shower?â He asks in a low voice, grinning at the way your face scrunches in displeasure at the thought before you look up at him and respond, âAre we going to fuck again tonight?âÂ
He thinks on it for a moment, weighing options and offering his opinion, âI donât want to tempt fate too many times, so I think we should just go to sleep for now and go out for condoms and Plan B tomorrow morning. Then Iâll fuck you all day, if you want.âÂ
You smile serenely and nod, your eyes already half lidded with exhaustion.Â
âDoes that mean you do want to shower, then?â He confirms, his fingers drumming on your bare back.Â
âYeah,â you pout, obviously reluctant to get up and get clean.Â
âIâll go start it and come get you when itâs warm. Donât worry, baby, Iâll do all the work,â he promises you, grinning when your pout stretches into a pleased little smile.Â
He climbs out from under you and off the bed, walking on shaky knees to the bathroom, his soft cock hanging between his legs. He wonders if you have a washer, his shirt and boxers are not usable in their current state, but he can just use the sink if he needs to. Heâll have to go back to his hotel sometime tomorrow, to change and gather his things for his flight back home, and heâs already dreading the idea of it.Â
It would be nice if he could get his film camera, maybe take a few pictures of you to tide him over until his transfer is finalized and he can find an apartment here. He feels like youâd be up for that, imagines photographing you in all kinds of positions and varying states of undress, safe in the knowledge that he can rent a darkroom and develop them himself.Â
He struggles for a minute but figures out your shower eventually, turning it on and standing by until steam gathers on the mirror. He catches a glance at himself just before it fogs over, blushing at the image staring back at him.Â
His lips are swollen and red, his cheeks flushed with exertion and joy, his eyes luminous for what feels like the first time in years. Youâve made your mark on him, tattooed him in gold, and he doesnât think heâll ever be the same.Â
Thatâs not something he minds. He even finds himself smiling at the idea of rearranging his pieces to fit with yours, of making space in his life for you and Anubis to fill.Â
When he leaves the bathroom to get you, the cat is laying on the dining table, sprawled out with his eyes closed, and Wonwoo breathes a sigh of relief. If heâs being honest, he forgot entirely that there was another being in this apartment, and heâs glad your activities didnât seem to disturb him.Â
He wants to smooth a hand down Anubisâs side but doesnât want to wake him, so he stares at the cat for just a second longer before turning to your bedroom and poking his head through the door frame.Â
Youâre starfishing on the bed, his cum mostly dry on your tits and your eyes gently shut, and he canât contain the laugh that bubbles out of his chest.Â
Like mother, like son.
Wonwoo draws in a deep, centering breath as he raises the camera to his bespectacled eye, grateful not for the first time that heâs in the city of love.Â
This will be the first proposal heâs photographed today, the third this week, and for someone whoâs always thought he didnât mind love, he finds himself unbelievably excited.Â
He calls your name, watches dust motes float through a shining sunbeam as you stir in the bed you share, your tired gaze finding him before it lands on the book beside you. Or, more accurately, on the ring sitting on the book beside you.Â
You draw in a sharp gasp, your eyes flying to his, and he depresses the shutter button just as your face breaks into a beam bright enough to rival a supernova.Â
He thinks this will be his favorite photograph yet.Â
AN: And the book was titled April Shower and it contains your love story as written by your best friend, the end đ
âPrendi una stanza!â - "Get a room!"
âĂ la cittĂ dell'amore, Stefano, dacci una pausa!â - "It's the city of love, Stefano, give us a break!"
âY/n? Vai avanti, caro!â - "Y/n? Carry on, dear!"
My Masterlist
First Snow
pairing; jeon wonwoo x f reader
genre; fluff, angst, smut (minors dni)
warnings; ceo!wonwoo, single mom!reader, reader has a son, divorce is mentioned, ex-husband, parent of reader mentioned, svt members cameos, eating/drinking, alcohol, slight power imbalance (assistant!reader), unprotected sex, sexual health talk/reader iud, oral (f receiving), fingering, handjob, teasing, pet names, switch!wonwoo, switch!reader, manhandling (wonwoo can lift the reader), tears of pleasure, scratching, breast play, body worship, begging -- i am sure i am missing something.
w/c; 33k and some change + 1.1k of bonus content exclusive to patreon
a/n; this was a pleasure to write and it certainly got out of hand. i love a good plot. i hope you enjoy it and merry christmas/happy holidays my babes. thank you to @wonwussy for proofreading.
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
âHello?âÂ
Wonwoo rests the phone against his shoulder as he turns in his office chair towards his desk. He had been answering his own phones for the past twenty minutes since you were already running late. It wasnât usually a common occurrence but lately it has become more frequent.Â
âI am so sorry. Iâm literally in the parking lot, Mr. Jeon. I just have Jacob with me. His babysitter is sick. Iâm waiting for someone to get back to me about coming to pick him up.âÂ
Your voice made Wonwoo smile. You were a good assistant and a good mother. He had met your son a few times since you started working for him about two years ago. Shaking his head, Wonwoo glanced out of the glass window that separated his office from the rest of the building and the others already working before he sighed softly.Â
âUntil they can get here, just bring him inside. Thereâs no reason to sit in your car, Y/N. Iâm sure heâs not thrilled sitting in his car seat.âÂ
Wonwoo had no idea how right he was. Three year olds were, in your opinion, worse than the terrible twos. You werenât even sure who had come up with that bullshit. Jacobâs eyes were red from crying as he clawed at the straps, keeping him safely contained in the seat in your backseat as he pouted at you in the mirror. Yet, the idea of taking him inside and sitting at your desk outside of Wonwooâs office sounded like a nightmare. Jacob wasnât the quietest child.Â
âI couldnât. Heâsââ Like clockwork to put emphasis behind your point, Jacob screams âmomma!â and it breaks your heart as big, fat tears stream down his face.Â
âHeâs bored in your car. You can work out of my office with me until someone comes to pick him up. It wonât be a bother. I like Jacob; weâve always gotten along.âÂ
You canât help the sigh that slips from your lips. They had always gotten along. Wonwoo had probably met your son a handful of times but it was true that at that time he had a way with kids. It was a shock to you that he didnât have some of his own. It was a bigger shock that he wasnât already married, but that wasnât any of your business.Â
âOut! Momma? Take shoes off!âÂ
Jacobâs demands make Wonwoo laugh as he sighs, leaning back in his chair and looking at his computer screen. His finger moves over the scroll wheel of his mouse, moving the screen down as he reads every other word. It was cute hearing your little sighs of uncertainty. Everything about you was cute to Wonwoo, though he wasnât sure it would be very professional to tell you that.Â
âIâJacob, calm down. Fine, yes, okay. We will be right up. Iâll catch up on your schedule. Oh, WoâMr. Jeon? Call Mr. Kim. I meant to put that on your calendar first thing this morning. He wants to set up a lunch.âÂ
Before he can say anything, the call disconnects, causing Wonwoo to laugh under his breath, feeling his cheeks burning. He had asked you to call him Wonwoo on several occasions, but you insisted that since he was your boss, he deserved respect.Â
Shaking his head, Wonwoo glances towards the window behind him to watch you wrangle your bag and an upset toddler to your hip, along with his things, before you move towards the door. You were amazing. Parents in general were amazing, but there was something about a single parent that made Wonwoo just take a step back in wonder.Â
He was sure that you had some help. You had mentioned your parents helping you in the past, and other relatives too, but he knew you still did almost everything on your own. Just the simple act of carrying another human and all of those belongings seemed overwhelming to Wonwoo and you did it without a second thought.Â
Using your badge on your keys, you let yourself into the building, already apologizing as Jacob sniffles back tiny sobs, catching the attention of your co-workers. You hadnât wanted to bother any of them but especially not Wonwoo. The sheer thought of him drew your eyes up the stairs, where his office door was next to your desk.Â
âDonât worry about it, Y/N. You know that my Jenny is around the same age. Your little one wonât be a problem.âÂ
Liaâs voice brings your eyes back to her as she smiles at you, moving towards you to offer to help carry something. She had always been so kind to you. Everyone had, and you had really gotten lucky with this job. Everything had fallen apart and you had vowed to Jacob that youâd pull yourself together and figure it out. This job had shown up in the listings and two years later, it was still the best place you had ever worked.Â
"Thanks, Lia. Oh no⊠Iâve got it. I have to go upstairs to Mr. Jeonâs office. Jacob is so fussy. He said I could work in there until my mom comes to pick him up.âÂ
A knowing smile spreads across the womanâs lips as she stops and lifts her fingers to brush away Jacobâs tears, causing the small boy to smile at her and grab her fingers like a toy.Â
âDid he? Thatâs so nice of him. Heâs such a kind boss.âÂ
Sighing, you laugh, letting her pull her hand away from your son carefully so you can start up the stairs and hear her small laughter as you whisper back to her.Â
âDonât even start. Iâll text you later.âÂ
Waving at you, Lia returns to her desk but you know she wasnât the only one to note your words. You had worked hard not to start any rumors about you and Wonwoo. Mainly because there was nothing to talk about. He was just a kind man and there was nothing happening, but that didnât stop some people from thinking otherwise.Â
Swallowing hard, you start to knock on Wonwooâs office door when the door opens just before your knuckles can make contact. He had been watching and waiting for you to make it up the steps.Â
"Here, let me, uh? I can take this.âÂ
You start to tell him no but Wonwoo takes Jacobâs bag from you before you can tell him otherwise. A sigh of relief leaves your lips at the weight taken off of your arm as you step into the room and hear the door close behind you.Â
âThank you. I could have handled it, though.âÂ
Wonwoo just grins, putting the bag onto a leather couch before making his way back towards his desk, choosing to lean against it. You have to look away when your brain screams about how handsome he looks. It was amazing how he could look like the lead in some drama. The hot CEO of a company was just sitting on the end of his desk, about to deliver some profound lines.Â
âI know you could have, but you donât have to do it all alone. At least not today. Unless you are just wanting to hold him, I donât mind if Jacob is down on the floor.â Seeing the look on your face, one of uncertainty as you look around for anything breakable or any uncovered outlets, Wonwoo laughs and continues, âThereâs nothing he can mess up. Everything is replaceable, and I babyproofed everything months ago.âÂ
Swallowing hard, you feel Jacob wiggling in your arms to be put down upon hearing his name out of Wonwooâs mouth. With a sigh, you lean to let him on to the floor, watching him crawl towards the couch and reach for his bag just out of his reach, prompting you to walk towards it, opening it, and handing him his sippy cup.Â
"Uh, why would you? I mean, why did you babyproof your office? You donât have a kid of your own? IâshiâŠI mean, not that Iâm aware of. That seemed out of line. I apologize.âÂ
Laughing, Wonwoo watches Jacob with his drink, finding the small boy adorable as he holds both handles and looks up at him with curiosity. Shrugging, Wonwoo finally finds your eyes again before shaking his head and gesturing towards Jacob.Â
âMy assistant has a child. It would be irresponsible of me not to. Even if something like this hadnât happened, what if we had some other reason for him to be in my office and he wound up hurt because I hadnât?â Shaking his head again, Wonwoo moves back around his desk, letting out another long sigh. âNo, I couldnât allow that. Heâs far too important.âÂ
Smoothing his tie down his abdomen, Wonwoo sits down before looking up at you to find you staring at him as if he had just read you a complex piece of literature. Tilting his head, Wonwoo laughs and clicks his tongue against his teeth before leaning to pick up his phone.Â
âIâm going to call Mingyu and set up that lunch. Do you want to go get your laptop so you can work from here for a bit? I can watch Jacob while you do.âÂ
Surprised by Wonwooâs words, you look down at Jacob, who smiles at you, holding his sippy cup up at you before smacking it against the floor and laughing. That would be fine, right? You would just go outside, get the laptop, and do a couple of other things.
âYeah? YeahâŠsure okay. Iâll be right back. Jacob? Momma will be right back. Behave for Mr. Jeon.âÂ
God, what were you even saying? Giving one more look to Wonwoo, you watch him smile as he leans back in his chair. His eyes move to the toddler on his office floor, and his attention splits between him and the phone, allowing you to slip out the door.Â
Wonwoo shakes his head, a chuckle on his lips, when Jacob babbles a few words before looking up at him and showing him the sippy cup. The phone was ringing, waiting for Kim Mingyu, his best friend and partner, to pick it up.Â
âYeah? You got your cup, little man?âÂ
Mingyu smirks a bit, pulling his phone from his ear at Wonwooâs words, before narrowing his eyes and letting out an amused breath.Â
âSince when do you call me little man? Do we need to hit the gym together again?âÂ
Wonwooâs cheeks were burning but he knew that Mingyu was full of shit. He had just picked up at the wrong time. Laughing, he adjusts himself in his seat to follow Jacob as he shakily moves himself to his feet and walks towards his desk, babbling about momma.Â
âNo, shut the helâshut up. Y/N said you wanted to set up lunch.â Distracted, Wonwoo leans to watch as Jacob moves around the desk, grabbing at his pants and offering him his sippy cup, trying to pull himself up into his lap. âIâmomma will be right back. Do you needâ? Hang on, Mingyu.âÂ
Confused, Mingyu just laughs, walking towards his office and offering a wink to his own assistant before closing the door behind him as he listens to Wonwoo. The sound of shuffling and then the same toddler he had thought he had heard in the background makes Mingyu stop in his tracks before he even reaches his desk.Â
âAlright, as I was sayingâ"Â
âDude, do you have a kid right now?âÂ
Wonwoo smiles at Jacob, who smacks his sippy cup on Wonwooâs desk before he sighs and nods to answer Mingyu before doing it out loud.Â
âYeah, itâs Y/Nâs son. Sheâs getting her laptop so she canââ Realizing the details of that werenât important, Wonwoo just sighs again and laughs, reaching up to smooth Jacobâs hair and trying to change the subject. "Lunch. When do you want to get lunch?âÂ
Dropping his briefcase on to his desk, Mingyu scoffs, trying to imagine his best friend with a baby but then hearing whoâs baby it was makes it all make sense.Â
âAh, Y/Nâs son. So is it âbring your hot assistantâs kid to work dayâ at your office?âÂ
Scowling at Mingyuâs words, Wonwoo looks towards the door, afraid you will overhear him. He had kept it professional with you as much as he could, but that didnât mean that he had drunkenly mentioned his crush on you to Mingyu once or twice. And clearly, his best friend was an asshole who wasnât going to let him live it down.Â
âNo, shut up. She was in a bind; someone should be coming to get him in a bit. Can we stay on track?âÂ
Mingyu purses his lips, sliding into his chair with a relaxed groan, a smile playing at his lips. He could get used to hearing Wonwoo flustered. Wonwoo might remember just a couple times talking about his âcrushâ on you, but Mingyu recalled multiple times of Wonwoo detailing his wish for a life with you. This was serious.Â
"Yeah, sure. Make you a deal? We can get lunch tomorrow and go to our usual spot. Iâll pay as long as you ask the hot little milf out.âÂ
That was itâthe last straw. Groaning in annoyance, Wonwoo pulls the phone from his ear and hits end, knowing it wouldnât be the last time he talked to Mingyu today. The man was like an annoying little brother he could never get rid of.Â
Balancing your laptop and a mug of coffee, you use the toe of your shoe to open Wonwooâs door, only to stop in your tracks when you see Jacob sitting in his lap. A quick train of thoughts races through your head. One: Oh my god, what if Jacob spills something on his suit? Two: Oh my god, he looks so handsome with a kid in his lap, especially your kid. And three: just, oh my god.Â
âI was gone too long. You didnât have to pick him up. Heâs clingy.âÂ
Now you were rambling. Moving into the room quickly, you place your laptop at the end of Wonwooâs desk before letting him take the mug of coffee from you with an appreciative smile.Â
âHeâs just fine and you werenât gone too long. You didnât make yourself a cup of coffee?âÂ
Glancing at the laptop and the mug, you laugh just as Wonwoo does before he slides his cup towards you and Jacob lifts his cup towards Wonwooâs mouth.Â
âI can get another in a few minutes. Sit down and get settled for a few minutes. Youâve been running from the moment you woke up, it seems.â Glancing down at the toddler and the cup, Wonwoo laughs, taking it and pretending to drink from it before offering it back to Jacob, who giggles. âThank you, buddy. See, I can share with him.âÂ
Sliding into the chair, you take a breath while watching him with Jacob. It seemed so natural and easy for him. You shouldnât enjoy watching your boss with your son so much. Shaking your head, you clear your throat and open the laptop before bringing the mug to your lips and taking a sip of the coffee, letting it warm your throat and chest. The caffeine is a welcome hit to your system as you watch the device in front of you power up.Â
âMm, oh. My mom will be here in about less than an hour to get Jacob. Thank you for being so patient and kind about this.âÂ
Wonwoo nods, a smile on his lips as he looks over your pretty face. He could see you were tired and yet you always managed to look so put together at the office. He wished there was a way to help you out and let you get the rest you needed but yet he had a feeling that if he gave you time off, youâd just use it to do something else productive.Â
âItâs really not a problem. I talked to Mingyu. Can you put a midday lunch on my schedule for tomorrow? Also, once things are up and running, could we go over what I have for the day?â
Wonwoo watches you switch into assistant mode, the mug back onto a coaster on his desk. You cross your legs, drawing his attention unknowingly to your thighs as your skirt hugs them perfectly.Â
âDo you want to start with what you have first? I can already see things are going to overlap after lunch. We will need to reschedule your meeting with Mr. Hwon. I can do that easily; his assistant is easy to work with.âÂ
The hour passed too quickly for Wonwooâs liking. Jacob had found his way back onto the floor, and you had given him some toys from his bag to play with as the two of you worked as if nothing was different. Wonwoo was beginning to enjoy having you in the same room as him instead of having to call for you either through the door or to send you a message. Besides, the view was much better than usual.Â
When you make a sound of surprise looking at your phone, Wonwoo looks up from his computer again to watch you stand up and move around to collect Jacobâs things. Your mom must be outside. It almost made him sad to know things were going to go back to normal so quickly. Sighing softly, Wonwoo slides out of his chair and around his desk to offer his assistance, causing you to laugh and shake your head.Â
âIâoh, Mr. Jeon. Iâm okay. I will just run him downstairs and be right back up. Say bye bye to Mr. Jeon, Jacob.âÂ
Pouting, Jacob looks up at you and then at the tall man before babbling about his shoes. Wonwoo canât help but smile, noticing one of the pieces of velcro had come undone, making it probably uncomfortable for the toddler.Â
âBye bye, Jacob. Here, let me fix it. Is that better?âÂ
You can feel your heart tightening once again as Wonwoo kneels down to adjust the velcro on Jacobâs shoe, making the little boy smile. Nodding, Jacob babbles bye bye a few times, moving to hug Wonwooâs leg and Wonwoo can only close his eyes. It was his turn for his heart to feel heavy. He liked this kid.Â
âHave fun with your grandmother.âÂ
âNanaâŠâÂ
âAh, with your nana.âÂ
With your quick correction, Wonwoo laughs and ruffles Jacobâs hair before watching you pick him up and leave the room. He was in trouble. He wanted to see you like this again. Something more casual, and he wanted to see Jacob again.Â
Outside, you lean into your motherâs car, adjusting the straps over Jacobâs chest and waist as he babbles about his cup and toys before finally landing on Jeon. Your motherâs brow lifts in curiosity as she tries to hide her smile, but fails when you meet her eyes and shake your head.Â
âStop it; donât even start with me. He hears me say my boss's name all the time, and we were just upstairs. I told him to say bye bye to Mr. Jeon. Heâs learning new words all the time.âÂ
Nodding, your mom leans in to press a kiss to your cheek before laughing against your warm skin. All she wanted was for you to be happy and you had been happier than you ever had in the past few months. Things seemed to be finding a normal pace but she still wanted you to find someone to settle down with, but all you ever seemed to do was work and talk about Mr. Jeon.Â
âI didnât say a thing, darling. We will see you after work. Have a good day. I love you.âÂ
Muttering that you love her back, you then turn to Jacob to tell him how much you love him and beg him to behave. It isnât until he realizes that he is leaving you that he starts to pout and cry, making your heart hurt as you have to go back upstairs and work.Â
Giving Wonwoo a courtesy knock on his office door, you slide back in, offering him a sad smile before moving to the laptop to start to collect your things. His eyes move over you curiously as he tilts his head.Â
âYou okay?âÂ
Nodding, you laugh softly, pulling your purse onto your shoulder as he stands watching you move so closely that it makes you feel like the room is smaller.Â
âOh yeah. It was just hard to see him crying after spending more time with him today. Iâm fine, though. Iâll get to my desk and get back to work. Again, thanks for accommodating me today.âÂ
Wonwoo wanted to tell you that you didnât have to go back to your desk but he knew that working from a corner of his wasnât ideal. The chair you had been sitting in wasnât good for your back and as much as he wanted to keep sneaking peeks at you, this was work.Â
âOf course. Really wasnât a big deal. Thank you forâŠyou know. Being great at your job.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you canât help but laugh under your breath at Wonwooâs wording. He was usually so well spoken, but that was a bit clumsy and almost as if he were flustered. Biting at your bottom lip a bit, you just smile and lower your head before leaving his office, letting Wonwoo catch his breath.Â
Maybe it was getting a later start in your day or the fact that you were desperately trying to keep yourself busy so that youâd stop trying to sneak peeks at Wonwoo, but the end of the day came quickly. Sighing softly, you send one last text to your mom, letting her know youâd be on your way soon when Wonwooâs voice pulls you out of your little world and back to reality.Â
âHave a good evening, Y/N.âÂ
You smile at Wonwoo, whispering for him to do the same, when he bites at his lips, stopping and turning back towards you, pointing with his briefcase in your direction. The action makes you laugh and tilt your head. Had he forgotten to tell you something or had he forgotten something in his office? Glancing over your shoulder, you start to speak when he beats you to the punch.Â
âAre you busy this Saturday evening?âÂ
Wonwoo watches you look from his office door and down to your desk. Your eyes were wide and you looked like you had seen a ghost. He hadnât even said why he was curious but he knew you werenât an idiot.Â
âIâwellâŠâÂ
JacobâŠfuck. You have a kid. Wonwoo thought to himself, thinking he was such an idiot for even bringing it up without giving you much time to prep for his question.Â
âProbably right? Stuff with Jacob?âÂ
You shake your head and Wonwooâs head tilts curiously this time. No? That was different. To be fair, Wonwoo wasnât sure what you really did on weekends.Â
"Actually, he will be with his dad this weekend. He gets him once a week... Why are you asking?âÂ
Right, he would need to answer that question. Wonwoo could feel his palm go sweaty around the handle of his briefcase the moment you answered the question. Licking his lips, Wonwoo reaches up to scratch the back of his neck with his free hand, offering you a smile.Â
âI wanted to see if maybe you wanted to get dinner and drinks. Especially if you have the night free."Â
Your boss was asking you out. That wasnât something your brain was making up, was it? Looking past Wonwoo to make sure no one else had heard him, you take note that at least no one was in ear range when you let out a nervous laugh.Â
âIâis that appropriate? I meanâŠfucââ Swallowing hard, you take a break to recenter yourself before meeting Wonwooâs eyes to find him grinning at you. âYou are my bossâŠâÂ
Wonwoo knew who he was and who you were. He already knew there were rumors about him dating you swirling around the office, so it wouldnât be like he was doing something to shock anyone and there were no rules that said he couldnât.Â
âI donât find it inappropriate. I mean, if you do, we can forget that I asked. I just didnât want to miss out on this brief moment of bravery that I had and not ask you out.âÂ
His words cause your head to spin. He had to work up the courage to ask you out. Him? Be brave enough to ask you? In what world did any of that make sense? Smiling, you bite at your bottom lip as you fiddle with a few papers on your desk out of nerves before daring to look at Wonwoo again and shrugging.Â
âI donât really want to forget that you asked.âÂ
A small laugh escapes Wonwooâs lips at your words. What did that mean? Did that mean yes? Youâd go? Stepping towards your desk, Wonwoo watches you take in a breath. He finds himself wondering, if he touched your cheek, if it would be warm with how you were acting.Â
âDoes that mean youâll go out with me?âÂ
When you nod, Wonwoo grins and looks down, reaching up to push his glasses up his nose and clearing his throat. He needed to keep his cool. It was just dinner and drinks. It wasnât like he had asked you to marry him and you had said yes or something. He wasnât some high schooler asking a girl to the prom. He was the CEO of a multimillion dollar company asking his incredibly attractive assistant out on a date, and she had said yes.Â
âGreat. Iâll see you in the morning, Y/N. Have a good evening.âÂ
You whisper out the same to Wonwoo, watching him jog down the steps before he gets to the door, leaving enough space between him and you that you feel like you can let out the breath you had been holding. It comes out with a small squeal as you lean forward on your desk, a smile on your lips, finding everything that had just happened to be unbelievable.Â
Pulling into the parking lot next to the matte black Lamborghini, Wonwoo shakes his head at how ostentatious the car seems. Putting his own car into park, he sighs, hitting the lock button on his keyfob, noting that he didnât have much he could really say. His own Mercedes wasnât that much better, but at least he wasnât driving a Lambo. Â
When he had been in university, he and Mingyu had swore to one another that they would make it. At the time, they werenât even sure what that meant. Earning business degrees and keeping their heads down for a few years had been the first step, but quickly they had both learned the ropes and now they were two of the most influential people in the business world.Â
What had started as a pipe dream of two sleep deprived broke university students became a hard earned reality. Each was now the CEO of their own company, in charge of dozens of employees, and making 7 figure salaries a year.Â
Wonwoo kept himself a bit more grounded than Mingyu, but he couldnât blame the younger man for enjoying his wealth just a little here and there with things that he loved, like cars. Meanwhile, Wonwooâs money was invested and while his car was nice, his true wealth could be seen in his choice of house and accessories.Â
Walking into the restaurant, Wonwoo glances at the Roger Dubuis watch on his wrist, pursing his lips. He wasnât late but he hated leaving the office, but mostly you, as the phones were persistent today. You had told him to go enjoy his lunch, despite him offering to take you along.Â
âMr. Kim said this was a leisure lunch, Mr. Jeon. You donât need your assistant for that.âÂ
He wanted to punch Mingyu for telling you that. Couldnât he play it off as a business lunch? He was the one who wanted him to ask you out in the first place. Sighing, Wonwoo simply offers a nod to the hostess, who directs him to Mingyu, already seated at their usual table.Â
âYou could at least look happy to see meâŠâÂ
Mingyu smirks as Wonwoo sits down across from him. Their chosen restaurant was familiar; not only did they visit often but being friends with the owner had itâs perks.Â
âJust been a long morning. I am happy to see you. Has Junhui been out to the table yet?âÂ
Shaking his head, Mingyu shifts in his chair, studying Wonwoo. Something was on his mind and he wasnât as open as some of their other friends when it came to sharing their feelings.Â
âNo, apparently heâs already making our food. We donât get to pick.âÂ
Scoffing, Wonwoo scoots the useless menu away from him before leaning to pick up the glass of water meant for him and taking a long sip.Â
âSounds like Junhui. Whatever he serves us will be delicious anyway.â Clearing his throat, Wonwoo swipes his finger across a bead of condensation on his glass, looking down at it as he speaks. âY/N told me this was a leisure lunch. You have something on your mind you want to talk about?âÂ
There it was. Mingyu knew Wonwoo would get around to the reason he looked like there was a stick up his ass eventually, and this time he didnât even have to try. Pursing his lips, Mingyu tilts his head, scooting one of his legs out under the table as he sighs. In truth, there hadnât been a reason for the lunch. He had just missed his friend and tried to make it a weekly occasion to meet for a meal but Wonwoo made it harder and harder every week.Â
âDo I need to have something on my mind? Do you have something on yours?â Offering Wonwoo a smile when he receives a dirty look in return, Mingyu canât help the chuckle that follows. âWe should see if Junhui can whip something up for Y/N that you can take back to the office for her.âÂ
That wasnât a horrible idea but Wonwooâs only reaction is to lift his brows and sit down the glass of water in his hand. He hadnât told Mingyu that he had asked you out yet. The silence becoming deafening Wonwoo is pleased to hear the familiar voice of Junhui drawing his and Mingyuâs attention.Â
âThe coconut chicken for Wonwoo and the huang men ji for Mingyu.âÂ
Food sat in front of him. Wonwoo grins at the bowl of food. It was simple but it smelled like comfort. Mingyu laughs while standing up to hug the man they had both known for the better part of a decade before Wonwoo does the same.Â
âYou didnât come by last week. I thought you didnât like my food anymore.âÂ
Wonwoo feels an instant pang of guilt at Junhuiâs words. He knew it was his fault that he and Mingyu hadnât come by. He had cancelled their lunch at the last minute because of business but Mingyu is quick to cover for him like always.Â
âYou know thatâs not true. Just some work bullshit got in the way. Heâd live out of this place if he could. Wonwoo would sit in your kitchen and let you make him ramyeon or sweet and spicy chicken.âÂ
Seeing Junhui smile the way he did after Mingyu spoke was truly a gift. Mingyu was always good at making people happy and being genuine. He was a bit of an ass sometimes but at the root of it all, he was a good person.Â
âWell, I just hope you enjoy lunch today. Iâd stay and chat more but you know how hectic lunch can be. Let one of the servers know if you need anything."Â
Taking a breath into his words, Wonwoo stumbles on the first before finally meeting Junhuiâs eyes, making the man stop in his tracks.Â
âActuâactuallyâŠCould you, you know, if you arenât incredibly busy, make something for my assistant? I want to take her some lunch back to the office.â
Mingyu grins, looking down at his food, at how Wonwoo stumbles over his words and at how he has taken his advice. Maybe that wasnât the only time he had taken it?
Junhui simply smiles and furrows his brows, trying to remember your name, before nodding. âFor Y/N, right? No problem. Iâll have it ready before you all finish.âÂ
Nodding, Wonwoo looks down at his food, unwilling to meet Junhuiâs or Mingyuâs eyes just yet. It isnât until Mingyu clears his throat, shirting in his chair to pick up his chopsticks and then a piece of chicken that Wonwoo looks up, meeting his eyes.Â
âDonât say it.âÂ
Mingyu smirks, the chicken almost against his lips, before he shakes his head, pausing to speak before taking the first bite.Â
âI didnât say a thing.âÂ
Wonwoo groans, picking up his chopsticks and a piece of his chicken and eating it with more force than necessary. Mingyu didnât have to say anything; he was saying it all with a look on his face.Â
âThe chicken isnât going to fight back, Wonwoo. Why are you so defensive when Y/N is mentioned? By the way, you brought her up with time. I was going to wait until at least dessert.âÂ
He knew he was being ridiculous about you. He was almost 30 years old. There was no reason for Wonwoo to be acting like some teenager afraid of a crush but you made him feel that way. Especially when he considered everything about your life and how he wanted to make it better for you and Jacob. He had never even considered children until you showed up and started working for him.Â
âIâI donât know. She makes me nervous.âÂ
That much Mingyu knew. Everyone in a ten mile radius could see that. Taking another bite of his food, Mingyu licks his lips and lets out a breath, appreciating the taste before wiping his mouth with his napkin.Â
âItâs not like she knows you like her. You wonât even ask her ââÂ
âI did ask her out.âÂ
The surprise is evident on Mingyuâs face as Wonwoo confesses to asking you out on a date. He is proud and impressed but also a sinking feeling of nervousness takes over him as he tries to read Wonwooâs face before finally just biting the bullet and asking the question he needed the answer to.Â
âAnd? What did she say?âÂ
Wonwoo tries to hide his smile but it only ends up making it harder to keep his lips from turning up at the corners. Glancing down at his food, he licks his lips and shrugs before meeting Mingyuâs eyes, narrowing his own as if the words might backfire on him.Â
âShe said yes.âÂ
Tossing his chopsticks to the table, Mingyu reaches over to smack Wonwooâs arm harder than necessary, causing the slightly smaller man to grimace at the shock of the hit.Â
âFuck yeah, man. I knew she would. I mean, why wouldnât she? Whatâs the plan?â Rambling, Mingyu suddenly thinks of your son and his eyes widen, cutting Wonwoo off before he can answer, âWhat about the kid? You arenât taking him on the first date, right? Surely someone can keep him?âÂ
âCan I speak now?â Getting a nod from Mingyu, Wonwoo watches him pick up his chopsticks, going back to his food as he grins at the younger man fondly. Mingyu was always excitable, but Wonwoo couldnât help but indulge him.Â
âI havenât decided on a place to have dinner yet but I have some options. Iâm surprised she said yes. She was concerned because Iâm her employer.â Swallowing hard, Wonwoo furrows his brows before shrugging and pushing around his rice. âShe said Jacob will be with his dad this weekend so Saturday is a good time.âÂ
Sitting up straight like a puppy that had heard a new word, Mingyu tilts his head and blinks a few times at Wonwoo. That was the first time he had heard anything about your ex. I mean, it made sense. It took two to make a kid but he had just assumed the guy was completely out of the picture.Â
âDad? Do we have a name? How close are they?âÂ
Rolling his eyes, Wonwoo picks up a bite of his food, chewing it before even trying to answer Mingyu. He knew what he was trying to do and while he appreciated it. He didnât need Seungcheol to do a background check on your ex.Â
âYes, Jacobâs father. I donât know his name; I didnât ask and she didnât offer it. I have no idea how close they are but they share a child, Mingyu.â Sighing, Wonwoo meets Mingyuâs eyes, seeing the incredulous look in them, before adding, âBut they are also not together so I can assume they are not terribly close.âÂ
Mingyu wasnât thrilled with Wonwooâs answer but he figured that if his friend changed his mind, he could do some digging in the meantime. He did have a point, if there was a good relationship there, you and your ex would be raising Jacob together in the same home.Â
âFine, I wonât call CheolâŠyet. Let me know if you change your mind.âÂ
Shaking his head, Wonwoo picks up another bite of food, sighing heavily before laughing humorlessly into his words.Â
âI can promise you, I will not change my mind.âÂ
The rest of lunch was as normal as possible. Beyond Mingyu offering date options and letting Wonwoo borrow his car for the date, it was back to their normal topics of conversation before Junhui joined them for the last part of the meal. Desserts were served and a takeaway container sat beside Wonwoo. Junhui grinned at Wonwoo suspiciously before Mingyu filled him in on the âgood newsâ about the upcoming date.Â
âIâm happy for you, Wonwoo. You need to date more often. Itâs been months since youâve even tried. All Iâve even heard about is Y/N since she started working for you and no one comes close to your standard of Y/N.âÂ
Rubbing the back of his neck, Wonwoo could only smile sheepishly. Junhui wasnât wrong. You were not someone that most people could dream of living up to and no other woman came close.Â
âI..I just want to see where it goes. Iâm not going to force it. I know she will have Jacob on her mind.â
Junhui nods, his fingers running over the tablecloth under them as he listens to his friend talk. He could tell how important this was to Wonwoo and he wanted it to work for his sake.Â
âThen just tell her how you feel and what you want. It seems to work out in books and movies.âÂ
Laughing, Mingyu just shrugs when Junhui shoots him a look. It wasnât that he was wrong but it was the fact that he was sourcing books and movies as his knowledge bank. Wonwoo just smiles fondly at his friend and nods before leaning back to sigh into a groan. He needed to go back to work now. He wanted to see you and give you lunch but already the butterflies were fighting for space in his stomach.Â
âThanks, both of you, and Junhui, for the food. Ours and Y/Nâs.âÂ
Mingyu echoes Wonwooâs words before hugs are exchanged, along with more well wishes. Wonwoo finds himself wondering when they had gotten to the age where this was the topic of lunch conversation and not the next kegger. Either way, he didnât mind as he held your food in his hands, heading for his car, willing the butterflies to calm down.Â
Watching Wonwoo as he raised the spoon of cereal to his mouth, Mingyu smirked and shook his head. It was the fourth jacket his friend had put on and taken off before even waiting for his opinion. That had been his entire purpose for being hereâwell, and to raid Wonwooâs pantry but mostly emotional support.Â
Wonwoo had been stressed out over this date the entire week. You had noticed his being a bit more awkward than normal, including offering you the food after his lunch with Mingyu by clearing his throat and all but dropping the box into your hands.Â
He wasnât trying to make this harder than it needed to be but you were important. No other woman had made him feel like this. It wasnât the fact that you had a kid; that didnât even phase Wonwoo, even though he had many other friends who thought it was a red flag or a reason not to pursue you, no matter how attractive you were. He had quickly shut them down, reminding them to mind their business.Â
âIâfuck. What about this one?âÂ
Mingyu wipes his lips with his thumb tilting his head, his eyes narrowing at the mirror in front of Wonwoo. The jacket looked suspiciously like one he had put on three jackets before and he remembered telling him it looked sharp.Â
âIsnât that the same one as before? Look at the tag. Did you buy out Dior? Do you own the entire collection in that pattern?âÂ
Scoffing, Wonwoo pulls on the lapels of the jacket before reaching up to adjust his glasses and sweep the curls of his brown hair from his forehead before he mutters under his breath.Â
âShut the fuck up.âÂ
Smiling, Mingyu shrugs, sitting the bowl aside so he can stand up and move towards Wonwoo, smacking his shoulder and sending the man forward a step.Â
âIâm trying to get you to lighten up, man. You look good. You look classy. I know you wanna impress her but I donât think you have to try so hard.âÂ
Wonwoo knew Mingyu was probably right but he didnât want to ruin this and lose his chance with you. If he tried too hard, he might scare you off, but if he didnât try hard enough, you might think he thought you were just every other woman. There was a fine line, and Wonwoo had to walk it like a tightline.Â
âYeah, maybe.â Swiping his phone from his dresser, Wonwoo checks his email, confirming his reservations and making Mingyu laugh once again. Hissing out an annoyed sound, Wonwoo pushes back his elbow into his friendâs ribs, hearing the taller man grunt before taking a step back and putting up his hands in submission. âI get that I donât have to try so hard but Iâm going to. SheâŠdeserves it.âÂ
The last of Wonwooâs words are quieter, as if he says them too loudly, it might give too much away. He worked with you almost every single day and yet he hated having to say goodbye to you when 5 oâclock rolled around. Wonwoo felt like there was something else on the tip of his tongue as he watched you smile up at him and finish the last of your tasks as he glanced back at you, his briefcase in hand.Â
Pursing his lips at Wonwooâs words, Mingyu crosses his arms and studies the man. He was whipped and there was no other way of putting it. He had known he was falling for you about two weeks after Wonwoo hired you. He had listened to call after call about the wonderful new assistant that Wonwoo had found and how it all just seemed to work. Mingyu remembered thinking even then that that wasnât how you spoke about your employees, no matter how wonderful they were. That was how you spoke about someone you were falling in love with.Â
âHey, Iâm not saying shit, man. I support you, and I support this. You are as happy as I have seen you in a long time.âÂ
Taking a breath, Wonwoo slips his phone into his pocket and shakes his head at Mingyuâs words. He didnât disagree with them per se; he just didnât know how to feel about them or even what to say in response to them. Mingyu wasnât wrong. He was happy and he was excited. For once, he felt like there was possibility.Â
Smoothing your dress down at your sides, you slide into the chair at your vanity, already feeling your leg bouncing under the table. You could hear Jacob just behind you talking to his toy about his juice but your mind was still a blur. You couldnât help but glance away at your own reflection in the mirror.Â
This was the first time you had dressed up like this besides work dinners and even then, you didnât dare try to be anything anyone would consider sexy or bordering on it. You were a mom. That was your first jobâthe most important job.Â
âMomma, âook!âÂ
Drawing your attention from your thoughts, Jacobâs excited words cause you to turn in your chair to look at him as he picks up the car in front of him, making something that sounds between a roar and an exhaust.Â
âWow, you are so cool. What is that, baby?âÂ
Looking down at his toy, Jacob giggles, pushing the wheels with his fingers, before smiling at you with a smile that melts your heart.Â
âCar!âÂ
Nodding, you canât help but laugh and clap, encouraging him before Jacob keeps repeating the word over and over again to show you he knew it for sure. You knew he was smart but speech had been a bit difficult for him in the beginning. You had a hard time not blaming yourself or the situation; stress, changeâkids were so resilient and yet fragile. So when he started to pick up more and more wordsâfull sentencesâno matter how broken they were, you couldnât help but feel your heart get fuller with pride.Â
Watching Jacob for a moment longer, you rest your chin on your arm before letting out a soft, slow breath. You were excited and nervous for your date with Wonwoo but you always dreaded anything new. Just like you always dreaded any time you had apart from Jacob, you knew it was something you needed to get used to and it wasnât like you didnât want his dad to have a relationship with him. You were just attached. It was hard not to be when he was the most important person in your life.Â
Finally, turning back to the mirror, you get the courage to look into it, meeting your own reflection. You could tell you were tired. You knew you needed the break. Working a full time job and taking care of a toddler wasnât easy. Reaching for your concealer, you dab a bit under your eyes, pursing your lips as you use a brush to blend it in with the rest of your makeup. You couldnât get more sleep but at least you could attempt to hide how much sleep you hadnât had.Â
When the doorbell rang, Jacob squealed in excitement. Not even knowing who was at the door, your son was always excited to see anyway. You knew you needed to teach him more about stranger danger but there was something beautiful and whimsical about seeing a child so eager and loving to meet someone.Â
His little feet hitting the carpet and then hardwood, Jacob calls for you as he reaches the door, only to smack at it, trying to figure out how to open it when he hears the voice on the other side.Â
âIs that my buddy?âÂ
âDadda! Dadda! Momma, daddaâs here!âÂ
You had been trying to watch the time but 4 oâclock had snuck up on you. Biting your lip, you struggle with your bracelet, hurrying towards the door to unlock it and usher Jacob back all while trying not to drop the delicate gold chain around your arm as your ex-husband moves into the house.Â
Flinging his arms around his dadâs legs, Jacob giggles as he feels his fingers brush over his head. Your ex, Daniel, grins, muttering another hi to his son before finally giving you an appraising look and letting out a low whistle.Â
Rolling your eyes, you feel your cheeks warm at his attention. There were no longer romantic feelings between the two of you but you were both lucky that a friendship had remained. It had been easier than anticipated after the divorce to be close for Jacobâs sake and to actually be there for one another when each of you needed it.Â
Daniel laughs at your reaction, watching your fingers struggle with the bracelet before he reaches out to help with the tiny clasp, earning himself a small thank you. Shrugging, the man simply offers you another smile before leaning down to pick up Jacob with a groan, pretending that he hurt his back.Â
âDonât mention it. You, however, can. Are you eating all the vegetables? You are twice as big as last week!âÂ
Smiling fondly, you watch Jacob giggle as his dad kisses his cheeks, your son holding on to the man like an anchor. Stepping to the side, you allow him to move further into the house with Jacob as the boy babbles about his car, making your ex glance at you, noting the new word as you just smile and nod.Â
âCar huh? Dadda has a cool car, you know. Momma doesnât let me bring it to pick you up but Iâll show you when we get home. Itâs not as cool as yours but itâs close.â
You roll your eyes again, letting out a scoff that cues Daniel to smirk at you. His eyes once again move over you before he lifts his brow, letting Jacob down to play as he watches you gather the last of his things, putting them into his bag.Â
âIt is a nice car. You used to like it when weâd go out on the town. Speaking of ââÂ
Looking up quickly, you watch Daniel lift his hands at the look on your face. Another laugh slips from his lips before you zip Jacobâs bag, offering it to him.Â
âYour car is dumb, just like you. Iâyes Iâm going out. Do I lookâŠyou know?âÂ
Narrowing his eyes playfully at the comment about his car being dumb, Daniel lets it go instead, choosing to focus on what you had said next. Shaking his head, he takes a step back, giving you another once over before letting out a breath. He might be your ex-husband and your friend but he had eyes and there were very good reasons he had been attracted to you in the first place, besides your amazing wit.Â
âYou look hot. You said âgoing out?â Out as inâŠâÂ
Groaning, you narrow your eyes at the man as he smirks at you. He was worse than your girlfriends when it came to things like this. He was worse than your mother and that was saying something. You knew things with Daniel were good and that what had been there had ended long before the divorce had even been finalized, but there were times like this when you started to talk to him about a man you were going to go on a date with that you felt like you were talking to your husband again.Â
âJustâŠout. With someone, a friend.âÂ
Not believing you, Daniel glances towards Jacob as he pretends to run the car over the couch cushion, making the same car noise he had for you. The sound brings a smile to his lips but itâs short lived as the attention is brought back to you. He wanted you to be happy. It wasnât like he hadnât dated or wasnât currently dating. You should do the same, even if you have primary custody of Jacob.Â
âA friend? A man? Y/N? Are you going on a date? Why are you so afraid to tell me?â Scoffing softly, Daniel leans against the kitchen counter next to him, studying you as you look down almost in shame before he reaches up to hold your shoulder as he talks. âWhy in the hell would I be mad that you are trying to be happy? Iâm not an asshole."Â
Fighting the tears that were threatening to well up in your eyes, you shrug as Daniel leans down ever so slightly to meet your eyes fully. His smile is genuine as he watches you try to keep your composure.Â
âY/N, we have a cool ass kid. We didnât work married but we work as friends. Iâm not going to tell you that you canât find a man who will love you like you deserve.âÂ
Closing your eyes, you laugh but the tears fall to your cheeks, causing Daniel to sigh apologetically. He reached up with his thumbs to delicately push them off your face, knowing that you had probably worked hard on your make up.Â
âDonât cry; I didnât mean to do that.âÂ
âMomma cry! Donât be sad, momma. Iâm âere. I love you.âÂ
Feeling Jacob trying to climb your legs causes your heart to tighten in your chest. Daniel laughs a bit, trying to calm him down, trying to tell him you are okay. Your son doesnât listen, too concerned about you, until you reach down to pick him up, letting the little boy look at your face. His small hand moves over your face with less care than his father as he tries to help with your tears, before he leans in to kiss the corner of your lips and cheek.Â
âYou love a lot of people, Y/N. You teach him to love people fiercely so he loves you just as hard.âÂ
Danielâs words make you smile as you lean your forehead to rest it against Jacobâs, whispering that you love him and that you are okay. Your son smiles, running his fingers over your cheek again, checking for more tears. He's happy when he canât find any more.Â
âMommaâs okay, bud. Sheâs gonna have a good night with a friend. Me and you are gonna stay up late and eat pancakes.âÂ
Jacob gasps at hearing his dadâs words, glancing back at him and babbling about pancakes, making you laugh, and letting him wiggle his way over to his arms.Â
âThanks, Daniel.âÂ
Shrugging, you watch him lean his head against Jacobâs, his eyes mirroring your sons and making your heart warm.Â
âNo problem. Text me later and let me know how the date goes. Iâll send you pictures of him later but I wonât bother you too much. Donât wanna interrupt. I want you to have fun and actually enjoy a night out.âÂ
Agreeing to the text and promising to at least try to relax, you walk your ex-husband and son to the door, kissing Jacobâs forehead once more before watching the two of them leave, knowing it was going to be a long couple of days before he would be back with you.Â
Checking his watch at 6:45, Wonwoo looks at the outside of your house before pulling into the driveway. He knew he was a little early but he had a habit of it. You couldnât be late if you were early. It has always worked for him thus far.Â
Taking a deep breath, Wonwoo straightens his chosen jacket of the night and takes the first step towards your front door. It wasnât that long of a driveway but by the time he made it there, he felt like he had been walking for an hour, despite checking his watch to see that it was now only 6:47. He was letting his nerves get the best of him.Â
Wonwoo could hear Mingyuâs voice echoing in his head even as he lifted his hand to the doorbell and waited for you, wondering if you would change your mind. Stay calm, man. Donât try too hard. You look like you have a stick up your ass. Wonwoo did not, in fact, have a stick up his ass. He was just nervous. So fucking nervous.Â
You had heard the vehicle pull into the driveway so you couldnât really explain the dread that was in your stomach when you heard the doorbell ring. You knew it was Wonwoo and you were excited, but you were also terrified. You had spent an hour cleaning up everything he could possibly see from at least the front door and even if he were to come into the kitchen, but as you walked towards the door you let out a squeal when you see another toy, picking it up and putting it behind your back before pulling the door open.Â
He smiled, his brows furrowing at the sound he had heard behind your closed door. Wonwoo canât help but tilt his head in concern before he finally gets a good look at you and loses his resolve. You were stunning. He had seen you in business professional clothes and even a nicer dress for a work dinner but this... you looked amazing.Â
âIâwow. Hey.âÂ
Your cheeks are burning, and you feel a bit confused as you hold the small toy behind your back, balancing your toes on the hardwood next to your other foot as you look at Wonwoo in your doorway. He looked amazing. He always did. He looked expensive, but you knew that he was. You werenât a complete idiot. That was another reason that this was all making you so nervous. Your life was nothing compared to his.Â
âHi, I meanâŠÂ hello, Mr. JeââÂ
âOhâŠno please. Donât call me that tonight. I told you at work, just Wonwoo. It would be so strange to hear you call me that on a date.âÂ
A date. Yeah, you were going on a date with your boss. Fuck, your stomach was churning. Swallowing hard, you offer Wonwoo a smile before looking down and stepping to the side to let him step in. The air was crisp and your heat was already kicking on.Â
âCome inâŠÂ I need to get my jacket and, uh, shoes.âÂ
Smiling as he steps inside, Wonwoo glances around, thinking that your house was perfectly you but it lacked all the things that he had expected when it came to Jacob. He had expected toys to be lying around and perhaps shoes in the entryway. Things he had seen in his own childhood home growing up but it appeared you either kept an incredibly kept house, or you had cleaned up prior to his arrival.Â
âI know Iâm a bit early. Kinda sad I wonât see Jacob today.âÂ
Watching you back away from him, Wonwoo watches your hand slide from behind you to in front, making him grin when he sees the toy in it that you had been trying to hide from him. So you had just cleaned, and that made him feel a bit better.Â
Nodding along with his words, you toss the toy into a basket before moving to slide your feet into your heels as Wonwoo watches you. His eyes are moving along your frame with interest before he stops at your face, listening to every word you have to say.Â
âIâm sure he will stumble back into your life unceremoniously in the near future because my life is a mess. Uh, but his dad came and got him a few hours ago.âÂ
Wonwoo chuckles at your wording but he canât help but enjoy the idea of Jacob and you both stumbling into his life. He didnât mind it and he didnât feel that he ever would. Glancing at the jacket on a hook near him as you start towards it. Wonwoo makes a sound, drawing your attention to him before he takes your jacket down and holds it open for you, surprising you.Â
Carefully sliding your arms into your jacket, you step backwards, careful not to get too close to Wonwoo but no matter how much you try not to, you can still feel the warmth of his body close to yours as he situates the jacket on your shoulders.Â
âThanksâŠâÂ
With a small smile on his lips, Wonwoo takes a step back, letting you grab your purse and offering you a nod in response. To him, it hadnât been anything special, just something he wanted to do, but to you, it had been the beginning of something special.Â
âNo problem. I have reservations for us at 8 o'clock; itâs a bit of a drive so I hope you wonât mind.âÂ
Wonwoo watches as you shake your head. You seemed shy and sweet. Not that you didnât give off a similar vibe most days but today it was different. You were reserved and Wonwoo knew that it might take just a little bit of time and some conversation to get you past what you were holding on to about him being your boss.Â
Walking you to his car, Wonwoo surprises you once again by joining you at the passenger's side door and pulling it open for you. It wasnât that you hadnât had men do chivalrous things for you in the past. It wasnât even that Daniel hadnât done similar things for you; it was the fact that it was Wonwoo. It was the fact that he was one of Forbes 30 under 30 and he was treating you like the most important person in the world at the moment.Â
Sliding into the Mercedes, you let your fingers glide over the leather seat, enjoying the soft feeling before you reach for the seatbelt as Wonwoo closes the door and makes his way around to get in beside you. He was already enjoying having this extra time with you. Neither of you needed to say a thing but one look in your direction granted him a sweet smile that melted Wonwooâs heart.Â
He could see you glancing around the car as he drove. Your fingers are moving nervously in your lap on top of your purse. You were possibly more nervous than he was and that was saying something. Reaching out towards the radio, Wonwoo turns it on, letting it play quietly so perhaps that will help you feel less awkward before he lets out a sigh, smiling over at you.Â
âYou look beautiful tonight, Y/N. Iâm really happy you accepted my invitation.âÂ
Your face was hot again. All you could do was look down and grin like an idiot at Wonwooâs compliment. Lifting your hand, you swipe away a loose bit of hair from your cheek before glancing back over at him, whispering a thank you and clearing your throat to regain your composure.Â
âTh-thank you. I was, well, you know, surprised you even asked me. Beyond the facts that I brought up at work... I just assumed you would be seeing someone.âÂ
Furrowing his brows, Wonwoo tightens his grip on the steering wheel with his left hand, his right resting on the gearshift as he leans his head back against the headrest.Â
âLike who?âÂ
You canât help but let out an amused scoff at Wonwooâs question. He actually sounded intrigued or maybe even confused, by your assumption. You could think of plenty of people better than you for him.Â
âWell, any model you wanted for one. I believe Mr. Kim had one on his arm at the last dinnerâŠâÂ
Trailing off, you look out the passengerâs side window as Wonwoo looks at you. He wasnât Mingyu and he didnât want a model; he wanted you. He wasnât even sure Mingyu wanted a model; that date was for the press, but that was a fact that even you didnât seem to pick up on.Â
âHe barely knew how to say her name and she spoke maybe three times to him that night. It was a publicity arrangement. I turn them down frequently because I am not interested in helping to boost anyoneâs image, especially when I have someone Iâm already interested in.â
Pressing your lips together, you canât even dare yourself to look over at Wonwoo after hearing his words. He was interested in someone. You werenât stupid and you werenât going to play that card. He wouldnât have said those words with you in the car if he hadnât been talking about you. It was making you feel short of breath and your heart was beating like a drum in your chest.Â
âMingyu does it because he likes the playboy persona, even if its a lie. It looks good on paper and itâs fun for him. But, Y/NâŠplease look at me."Â
There is a slight whine in Wonwooâs voice as he asks you to look at him. He knew you could hear him but he wanted to make sure you understood what he was going to say next. He knew that his lifestyle was different from yours in many ways but not as different as you might want to believe.Â
Finally turning your gaze to his as Wonwoo slows down to a stop at a red light, you press your lips together, drawing his attention to them for a brief moment before he looks back into your eyes. He was entranced by you; he wanted nothing more than to see you happy and for this date to go well and so far he was afraid it was off to a rocky start because of your assumptions.Â
âBut I am not Mingyu and I am not a rich playboy. Iâm just... me, and I like you.âÂ
Your lips parted slightly with a tiny breath and Wonwoo wants nothing more than to act on how heâs feeling. You look kissable. Your lips parted just slightly, a rosy color making them already look bitten but a honk from behind him made him smile and he pressed down on the gas, putting the car back in motion.Â
âI didnât mean to sound like I was accusing you of something, Wonwoo. It is very clear you aren't. You know a playââ You stop and laugh to yourself, not sure what you were even saying. Wonwoo made you so nervous. You hear him laugh, your eyes moving over his handsome face as his cheeks become fuller, his eyes almost catlike, letting you know the laugh is real. âIâm serious. I know you are a good person. Iâm just not in your circle.âÂ
Wonwooâs laugh and smile fade with your words. It wasnât that he hated being wealthy or successful. That had been the plan, and he had worked hard for it. It was the fact that you felt less and unworthy of him because of his wealth and success when, in his eyes, you were far more wealthy.Â
âYou are. I donât even know what that means. Do you mean part of my friend group? You can meet them if you want. You already know Mingyu.âÂ
Sighing, you smile and lean your head back against your headrest, looking over Wonwooâs handsome face. He was perfect in every single way that you could think of. He was every girlâs dream and you couldnât think of a single reason not to want this, yet every single alarm was going off in your head.Â
âI do know Mr. Kim, but as kind as he is do you think the rest of your friends would be as enthused by meeting me? Your assistant, who is a single mother to a three year old?âÂ
His brows furrowing, Wonwoo grips the steering wheel tighter once again. He remembers a couple of his friends bringing up your occupation and a few others bringing up your status as a single mother. He didnât care what those friends thought because the ones who really cared about him supported him and encouraged him, just like Mingyu had.Â
âY/NâŠâ Wonwoo sighs out your name, glancing down at your hands, before looking back out at the road in front of him. He wished he was close enough to you to take your hand, to glide his thumb along yours and to explain this while having that contact with you. âYouâll meet them one day and they will fall in love with you so easily. Itâs impossible not to.âÂ
The silence in the car was deafening. You didnât know if he had meant those words the way they had come across but even Wonwoo seemed to realize what he had said as he tugged on the turtleneck that now seemed to be suffocating him as he drove.Â
Smiling, you look out the window, opting to hum along with the radio for a moment before finally putting Wonwoo out of his misery by glancing over at him. It was clear he was stressed; this conversation wasnât going exactly as planned but in truth, he wasnât sure how he had planned it.Â
âIâm sorry Iâm being so difficult, Wonwoo. Iâm not trying to push you away. Iâm justâŠnervous.â You look down and away from Wonwoo as he glances from the road to you, listening to you speak. âI havenât really dated much since I got divorced. Itâs not exactly a conversation starter.âÂ
Divorced. Right. Wonwoo nods and licks his lips. Your ex was your ex-husband. Why hadnât that dawned on him before? It didnât change anything; it just meant he needed to figure out more about you and your life.Â
âHow long were you married?âÂ
You laugh, surprised that Wonwoo was going to literally use what you had said as a conversation starter. He was different, that was certain. Shrugging, you decided to just lay out all of your cards. The worst that could happen was losing your job and the date going poorly, so what else could go wrong?
âFour years. We got divorced about a year and a half ago.â Glancing at your phone, you look at the date and count in your head before nodding. âTwo weeks ago.âÂ
Wonwoo does math in his head and lets out a breath with a long sigh. That was a longer time than he had anticipated and yet it was a short amount of time when you considered what he wanted from a marriage.Â
âWhat is his name?âÂ
Picking at a string on your purse, you run your tongue along your lips, considering Wonwooâs question before just answering it.Â
âKang Daniel, and he is Jacobâs father.âÂ
Grimacing at how you had answered his question, Wonwoo glances over at you and tilts his head.Â
âI figured he was, Y/N. If you donât want to talk aboutâ"Â
âItâs fineâŠÂ Iâve just had men assumed that perhaps that was why Daniel and I werenât together anymore. I cheated and had Jacob. Itâs not; we were happy with Jacob. We just werenât happy together.âÂ
Wonwoo hated that people treated you that way; the thought had never even crossed his mind. He never assumed the separation had ever been your fault. He knew there were a million reasons marriages failed and for a great many of them, neither party was at fault.Â
âI would never assume something about you. I would rather learn about you. You are a great mother."Â
Smiling softly, you nod, the string between your fingers like a safety net as you whisper out your words just loudly enough for Wonwoo to hear.Â
âThank you. I try.âÂ
âIt shows. Jacob is a great kid. You can tell he has a really good life.âÂ
You worked hard to make sure he did and you knew that Daniel tried to do the same. His life was different from yours and that had been part of the problem with your marriage. He was always gone, and when he was there, he was still gone in his head until it came to Jacob.Â
âI do my best and I know Daniel does too. I have primary custody of Jacob. Itâs just easier. I'm more stable.â You knew that Wonwoo didnât ask for the details but he did say he wanted to learn. This was the most important part of your life, your son. If anything, he needed to learn about it. "Daniel travels for work often but sees Jacob once a week for two days. Iâll get him back Monday morning before work. Itâs the hardest two days of my life, every single week.âÂ
Wonwoo watches your finger wrap a loose string around it and he wants to grab your hand again and offer you comfort. While its clear there is no animosity between you and your ex, your love for your son is even more evident.Â
âIâm sure he misses you too.âÂ
You laugh and shrug, reaching into your purse to take out your phone to show Wonwoo the picture that Daniel had sent you of Jacob. The small boy's face was covered in bits of syrup, and a destroyed pancake was in front of him. The next picture shows the man and your son, both leaning against an older model Mustang as Jacob holds up a toy car.Â
âHeâs having a great time with his dadda. He needs that time with him. Iâd never take that time away from him.âÂ
Smiling at the pictures, Wonwoo then smiles at you, in awe of you. It would be so easy to be the type of person to want to keep Jacob all to themselves and instead you wanted him to love and be loved. It said alot about you and who you were and it made him want you even more.Â
Turning into the parking lot of a smaller restaurant, Wonwoo watches you perk up out of the corner of his eye as he pulls into a reserved space turning his car off. You look around curiously before finally turning to him as clearly this wasnât what you had expected.Â
âHm? I promise it doesnât look like much but itâs the best money can buy. I wanted something special for you.âÂ
Holding up his hand, you smile at Wonwoo as he tells you to wait for him when you go to reach the door. Rolling your eyes, you turn to watch him jog around the car and make it over to you, opening the door and offering you his hand. He was ridiculous but you were starting to enjoy it.Â
Wonwoo waits with his fingers extended, slightly trembling out of nerves, until you slide your hand into his and step out of his car next to him, looking up into his eyes with your bright, sweet smile. Wrapping his hand around your fingers, Wonwoo keeps his touch loose but dares to brush his along the back of your hand as he gestures with his right towards the walkway.Â
âThere isnât even a sign for this place, WonwooâŠâÂ
A small grin plays on Wonwooâs lips at your hushed words. He nods and leans towards you, causing you to take in a sharp breath when you feel the warmth of his breath against your ear as he speaks in hushed tones as he whispers like itâs a secret and dozens of people are listening.Â
âI know, itâs invite only. Like I said, special.â Standing up straight, Wonwoo moves your hand to his arm, resting his right hand over it for a moment as he takes in a breath of the crisp air and walks you to the front of the building. âItâs called Ăblouissante.âÂ
Running your fingers over his jacket, you feel goosebumps spread along your skin at how soft the fabric is under your touch. It was expensive; he was just expensive and here you were feeling like you were cheapening his brand.Â
Meanwhile, Wonwoo was thinking the furthest thing from what was on your mind. He felt like the luckiest man in the world with you on his arm. You were beautiful and he didnât care how much your clothes cost or how much you spent on your accessories. All Wonwoo cared about was you, and you were worth more to him than anything money could buy.Â
Smiling at the hostess, Wonwoo offers her his phone, letting her check his reservation code before she grins widely, welcoming him in. Her gaze then falls to you and you are surprised when it doesnât change from how she had been looking at Wonwoo. She gives you just as much respect before offering to take your jackets and leading you to your table, of which there were only ten in the entire restaurant.Â
âOh my god, this place is wild. I swear that Yoon Jeonghan was sitting across the room.âÂ
You shake your head as you speak, making Wonwoo tilt his head before he leans up, looking for the man and grinning. You watch him wave before you see; in fact, Yoon Jeonghan does the same back to him.Â
âYouâve got to be kidding me."Â
âHeâs not that important; he just thinks he is. His last movie sucked and he knows it.âÂ
Of course, he would know Yoon Jeonghan. Why wouldnât Jeon Wonwoo know actors, multi-million dollar CEOs? Hell, he probably knew politicians by name as well.Â
âI liked itâŠâÂ
Wonwoo grins at your words, crossing his leg over his knee as you look at your menu, noting the lack of prices attached to any of the listings.Â
âYou can let him know.âÂ
Jeonghan glances over your back before walking past you to lean down and hug Wonwoo with a chuckle. It had been too long since he had seen his friend. You watch, trying to keep your mouth closed, as two of the most handsome men you have ever met in your life talk as if they had known each other for the better part of their lives. Perhaps they had.Â
âFancy running into you here, Wonwoo. The last time I saw Gyu, he said you ditched because of work. Junhui was sadâŠtell me youâve gone back to his place and eaten at least."Â
Wonwoo sighs as Jeonghan reaches out to pat his cheek before laughing once again. Of course Mingyu had said something and of course he had missed someone else at that last lunch.Â
âI have and in my defense, Mingyu didnât tell me you were going to join us.â Glancing at you as you try not to intrude, instead you choose to look over the wine list, Wonwoo grins, letting out a soft breath and gesturing towards you. âJeonghan, this is Y/N Y/L/N.âÂ
His eyes widening, Jeonghan mouths your first name towards Wonwoo, who gives him a look, only causing the actor to smirk. Turning his attention to you, Jeonghan gives you a dazzling smile, reaching his hand out for yours and saying your name sweetly.Â
âItâs so nice to finally meet you. You are even more gorgeous than Wonwoo let on. My godâŠâÂ
With your fingers resting in his, you feel your face burning from Jeonghanâs words. You figured he would be a smooth talker given his career but then again, you had never dreamed in a million years that you would be talking to Jeonghan much less like this.Â
âIâthank you? Heâs spoken about me?âÂ
Jeonghan trails his thumb over your fingernails, assessing you as he nods, feeling Wonwooâs eyes on him, knowing he is annoying the man. He knew exactly what he was doing and he wanted to rile him up because he wanted that fire inside of his friend to flame hotter when it came to you. He was tired of watching his friend pine and pine and never go for the gold.Â
"Oh, often, and always good things, scouts honor. Iâm so happy to see him finally taking you out, like heâs been wanting to. Heâd be an idiot not to. I mean, seriously, Y/NâŠyou are stunning.â Grinning at how you shy away from compliments, Jeonghan glances towards Wonwoo, who purses his lips, glancing to where your fingers barely hang on to the other manâs.
Jeonghan laughs, leaning down to press a kiss to your knuckles before letting you take your hand back completely. âIf you arenât 100% satisfied with your date, let me know. Think of me as quality assurance.âÂ
You scoff into a laugh at his blunt flirting in front of his friend as Wonwoo groans in annoyance. Jeonghan simply laughs, winking at you, before knocking his hip against Wonwooâs arm as he grumbles about having his own date to get back to.Â
âI do, and sheâs a sweetheart but not really my type. However, she is my next co-star so I need to be nice and treat her to a meal. You two have the most wonderful evening, and remember what I said, Y/N.âÂ
Watching Jeonghan saunter away, you shake your head before looking back at Wonwoo, who pinches the bridge of his nose as if heâs getting a headache. You canât help but pout towards him, feeling bad for your own actions. It wasnât as if you had flirted back with his friend, but you hadnât exactly told him to back off.Â
âIâIâm sorryâŠâÂ
Glancing up at you, Wonwoo looks confused before he smiles at you, reaching out to take your fingers in his hand and shaking his head.Â
âFor what? Jeonghan? I should be sorry. I knew exactly how heâd act. Heâs predictable. He was trying to get a rise out of me, and he got what he wanted. He made me jealous.âÂ
Wonwoo was jealous? Jealous of another man flirting with you? You canât help but smile and bite at your bottom lip, looking down at your hand in Wonwooâs grasp as he rubs your fingers before letting go of them in place of picking up his menu.Â
âYou donât have to be jealous. Iâwell, Iâm not interested in him. Heâs handsome and funny but I donât know him, and I donât feel anything towards him.âÂ
A small smile threatens the corners of Wonwooâs lips as he scans over the different wines. His eyes are glancing at you once again over his glasses, before he rubs his lips together and lifts his head to meet your eyes completely.Â
âThat is relieving. Iâd hate to have to ruin his date.âÂ
Laughing softly, you shake your head at his dramatics before sighing towards your menu. You werenât even sure what half of the words said. Making a face, you look back towards Wonwoo, whose eyes had never left you. It was clear you were struggling but he could only smile.Â
âCouldâŠokay. You seem to understand what this menu says. So could you pick something to drink and something to eat?âÂ
Nodding, Wonwoo uncrosses his legs in order to lean towards you, showing you his menu.Â
âHave you eaten much today?âÂ
Shaking your head, you watch him furrow his brow out of concern before he simply nods and runs his finger over the menu, pointing out a few things.Â
âWe can stay simple. I donât like this place because it is incredibly fancy, Y/N. I enjoy it because the food is out of this world. The wine is old and worth the price every time I take a sip. I wanted you to experience that.âÂ
Your cheeks once again flair up with warmth, a bit of tingling in your stomach as you simply nod and mutter an okay to his words as he walks you through his ideas for dinner. You were hungry and everything sounded amazing.Â
âHave we made a decision on what we will be enjoying this evening?âÂ
The server's voice pulls you and Wonwoo out of your little bubble and causes Wonwoo to let out a soft sigh as he nods.Â
âWe have. Two glasses of Gevrey-Chambertin François Leclerc. We will share the half baguette while we wait for the rest of our food. For the lady, she will have the truffle and mushroom risotto, and I will have the Bouillabaisse.âÂ
You watch Wonwoo order with such ease, the words slipping off his tongue as if he had ordered food such as this a hundred times before, when you realize he probably has. The server smiles at the order and collects the menus, promising to be back as soon as possible.Â
Wonwoo leans back in his chair, his eyes moving across your face and down to where your hands nervously mess with the end of your napkin, causing him to smile softly. You were anxious again. He was still trying to figure you out completely, and he had a feeling he would be doing that for a long time.Â
âWhatâs on your mind?âÂ
Looking back up when he speaks, you smile, meeting Wonwooâs eyes. Your fingers are still rubbing over the cloth napkin as you laugh softly and shake your head. You watch as he picks up his glass of water, taking a long sip and giving you time to collect your thoughts. He never rushed you; he just waited and listened.Â
âWell, Iâm thinking about a lot of things. About Jacob, about what he is doing and should be doing right now. Itâs his bedtime but I doubt Daniel has put him down. He never does it on time.âÂ
Smiling, Wonwoo tilts his head a bit as you take in a breath and furrow your brows. You loved talking about Jacob; that was the easier point of conversation. Everything else was hard.Â
"Uh, thinking about work. Iâm thinking about how nice all of this is and how much it must cost.â Knowing you are starting to ramble, you laugh into your words, lifting your hand to brush your fingertips against your lips before finally giving in and being vulnerable. âIâm thinking about you and how much I am enjoying spending time with you and what that means.âÂ
Wonwoo had known there was something on your mind, perhaps a lot but hearing you say it out loud made him take a pause and take a deep breath. He understood your hesitation but all he ever wanted to do was put you at ease with all that he could.Â
Leaning forward once again, Wonwoo rests his arm on the table as he looks at you in the candlelight. You were seamlessly beautiful without trying. Even though he knew you had tried tonight to hide the circles under your eyes, he could see them in the lighting and it didnât matter. The thought makes Wonwoo smile, seeing you in what you were tonight or in just sweats on his couch, your hair messy, no makeup.Â
âLetâs go one by one."
Watching you nod, Wonwoo sighs, only pausing long enough to watch the server drop off the wine and bread. He watches the man pour wine into your glass and then he nods at him and looks back at you, continuing.Â
âYou trust Daniel with Jacob so Iâm sure he is just fine, but at any time you are with me, if you want to call and check on him, you are welcome to. I will never stop you from being a mother. That is the most important thing to you and therefore the most important thing to me, Y/N.âÂ
Swallowing hard, you feel the tension in your chest lessen. One fear you always had with any man was that he would feel jealous of your relationship with your son or try to change it. So hearing Wonwoo on a first date put that fear to rest made you take a sigh of relief.Â
Picking up his wine, Wonwoo gestures towards you, urging you to do the same before he places his glass against his lips, taking a small sip while watching you do the same. He wanted to make sure you approved of his choice. Wonwoo watches your brows furrow, then rise. You pull the glass from your lips and smile, causing Wonwoo to do the same.Â
âGood? Itâs smooth; in this one, I can taste the strawberries and liquorice. Itâs nice.âÂ
You laugh softly, only nodding to agree as you take another sip and enjoy the feel of the wine on your tongue. Wonwoo grins, thinking to himself how much he enjoys watching you enjoy something. It was something he could get used to. Picking up a piece of bread, Wonwoo puts a bit of butter on it, taking a bite of it with an approving sound before continuing what he had started.Â
âThen you mentioned work.â He watches you nod as you reach for your own piece of the baguette to follow his lead. âThere is nothing in the rules about my company that says anything about relationships in the company. I expect people to act like adults. That includes myself.âÂ
He wasnât wrong; you had read your company policy book back to front after joining the company and recently, just to check on the rules about dating your boss, there had been nothing. Swallowing the bite in your mouth, you wipe your lips and take another sip of your wine before furrowing your brows and gesturing towards him.Â
âPeople already talk about us, Wonwoo. Isnât that going to be uncomfortable for you?â
âIs it uncomfortable for you?âÂ
With the question put back on you, Wonwoo watches as you take a breath, leaning back in your seat.Â
âSlightly. I donât want them to think that I slept my way into a position.âÂ
Smiling, Wonwoo attempts to keep the laugh from slipping between his lips but fails, causing you to gawk at him in disbelief.Â
âIâm serious!âÂ
âSo am I, Y/N. I couldnât care less what they think about me. As long as they are happy in their position in my company, that is all that should matter to them. If they think so little of you, perhaps they arenât happy in that position.âÂ
Your brows furrow once more at Wonwooâs words and how much sense they make. You hadnât considered that. It wasnât as if you were making much more than anyone else on the second floor or the first for that matter. The salaries werenât kept a secret, bonuses were given regularly, and promotions were announced publicly in the company.Â
Gesturing to the wine and the table, Wonwoo shakes his head before looking back up at you with a small sigh.Â
âAs for this, how much does it cost? How much anything costs that I give you or treat you to doesnât matter to me. Iâm not saying that as a way of gloating.â He could already see the look in your eye and you werenât impressed, but he wasnât trying to impress you like that. âIâm simply saying that I am not concerned with how much dinner costs when time matters more to me. Enjoying delicious food and drinks long with it? That is just a bonus. We could do this in my living room, eating chips and drinking beer and Iâd still be just as thrilled because Iâm spending time with you.âÂ
You start to speak but Wonwoo holds up his finger, giving you an apologetic look. He wanted to hear what you had to say in response but he wasnât finished just yet.Â
âMoney isnât everything, and I can tell itâs something that is weighing on your mind. Iâm not trying to use it to impress you. I wasnât always living the way I do now, Y/N. Sometimes, itâs even too much for me. But I wonât apologize for wanting to treat you to nice things.âÂ
The last of his words takes your breath away. You bite at your lips before lifting your wine to take a larger sip of it as the server approaches your table once again, sitting your meals in front of you with a quick bon appĂ©tit before leaving you both once again to enjoy your food.Â
âWonwooâŠâ Meeting your eyes, Wonwoo smiles as you say his name, even though he can feel the apprehension behind it. You hadnât meant to offend him or make him defend his success but that is what had happened in a way. âIâm sorry. I do appreciate this meal. I appreciate you wanting to treat me to nice things; I am just not used to it. It scares me a little.âÂ
That was understandable. Wonwoo could remember the first time money really started hitting his bank account and how terrifying it was to think it could all just vanish as quickly as it had appeared. He had been smart then and he was smart now.Â
âI get that; I really do. Iâll do whatever I can to help you not be so scared. Try your risotto. It looks great.âÂ
Smiling, you let your shoulders relax when you realize he isnât upset with you but instead he is still trying to make you feel okay about the situation. Dipping his spoon into his soup, Wonwoo watches you eat a bit of your food, your eyes closing as you take in the explosion of different flavors on your tongue.Â
âOh my godâŠâÂ
Wonwoo grins, eating a bit of the soup with a nod as you open your eyes to look at him as if he had given you the most special gift in the entire world with the first bite of food. Taking a second bite, you shake your head and allow Wonwoo to just enjoy you for a few moments before he sits back, sipping his wine, before swirling the red liquid in the glass, almost as if heâs lost in thought.Â
âBefore, the last thing you said that was on your mind was me. You said that you were thinking about me, how you are enjoying spending time with me, and what it means.âÂ
Clearing your throat, you reach for your water, taking a large drink of it before wiping your mouth clean with your napkin and nodding subtly to Wonwooâs words. The man smiles, running his thumb along the bowl of his glass as he looks over your face before biting at his bottom lip and sighing.Â
âWhat do you think it means, Y/N?âÂ
Why was he always turning this around on you? You could once again feel your face heating up. Now you were reaching for your wine as Wonwoo chuckled quietly, tipping his own wine back to his lips, savoring it on his tongue as you just let it hit your throat quickly. Only when it feels like the wine is down do you try to speak.Â
âIâm notâI donât know. I think it means that I like you. God, that sounds stupid, because I know I like you. Iâve liked you for... Jesus, ever.â You whine as you gesture towards Wonwoo, making him laugh nervously, his face heating up this time as well as his neck as he reaches up to pull at his turtleneck out of nerves. âHow could anyone not? You are gorgeous and, well, you. You are so kind and treat Jacob so well. I couldnât help but start to fallâI started to like you.âÂ
Glancing down, Wonwoo tries to play it cool and not smile like an idiot but fails. You were too cute, and the answer was too sweet. God, he liked you; he more than liked you. You were perfect. You watch Wonwooâs nose scrunch in the most perfect way as he smiles and your heart melts as you feel yourself falling even harder for the man in front of you. Why did he have to be perfect?Â
âFor a long time huh?â You just nod and Wonwoo laughs nodding along with you reaching across the table to run his fingers along yours, letting you take his hand this time. âMe too. I think I started talking to Mingyu about you two weeks after I hired you. About how pretty you were and how my day had never felt so bright.âÂ
Whining, you look down at your half eaten risotto making Wonwoo laugh against as he pulls his fingers from your hand to reach for your chin tilting your head up so you will look at him. Your eyes were beautiful and just had to see them again, especially with that almost desperate love sick look in them as he ran his thumb along your jaw and you leaned into it.Â
âIâm serious, you are so beautiful and I am so lucky to have found you. Not just as my assistantâŠlike this. Iâm sorry I was such an idiot and waited so long.âÂ
Reaching up to wrap your hand around his wrist you shake your head not knowing what to say. His words didnât seem real, and you felt like if you tried to say anything youâd just make a fool of yourself, so luckily you were saved by the voice of the server.Â
âHow is everything? Would you like a dessert? How about a cocktail to end your evening?âÂ
Wonwoo sighs into a laugh, dropping his hand from your face. He wasnât upset with the man but he had some timing. Looking back over to you, Wonwoo waits for your answer but as you look at the menus, a bit confused, he sighs and clicks his tongue against his teeth before pursing his lips in thought.Â
âSure, make tonight special. The moka French cheesecake, a parisian blonde, and a carajillo.â
Pleased with Wonwooâs order, the server takes the menuâs back and leaves you alone once again, causing the silence to be deafening. You canât help but smile as you take one last bite of your food and sigh, daring to look up and meet Wonwooâs eyes as he looks at you intently.Â
âYouâre staring at me.â
Grinning, Wonwoo tips back the last of his wine. You were observant. He had been staring but he just couldnât stop looking at you in the candlelight.Â
âSorry, you canât see yourself in this light but itâs hard to look away.âÂ
Tsking, you try to ignore his flattering remarks, knowing you canât look as good as he is trying to make you feel, though you appreciate his efforts. Rubbing your hands together in your lap, you swallow hard and glance around the room to the other tables, noticing Jeonghan getting up to leave. A quick two finger salute in your and Wonwooâs direction makes you shake your head, before you nod at him and Wonwoo sighs while doing the same.Â
âHeâs encourageable, but he does mean well. I hope youâll meet some of my other friends. They arenât all like Jeonghan. Some of them are even likeableâŠâÂ
Smiling at his words, you pick up your wine, finishing off the last of it, savoring what you can before offering him a soft, amused laugh.Â
âI like Mr. Kim. Heâs very funny and not that hard on the eyes.âÂ
Wonwoo rolls his eyes and scoffs before pausing once again as the server returns with drinks and the largest slice of cheesecake that you have ever seen in your entire life. Leaning forward, he slides the cocktail towards you and pulls the smaller, simple, dark drink towards himself.  Â
âJust call him Mingyu. You seriously boost his ego too much. He isnât even here, and Iâm sure itâs inflating by proxy.âÂ
Running your fingers along the bottom of your glass, you laugh so sweetly that Wonwoo feels his chest tighten. He loves your laugh, especially when it sounds like that. Itâs like bells on the best day of the year, marking every hour something good is happening. But every single thing that is good is you.Â
âHeâs my best friend but honestly, I have a tight friend group of about..." You watch Wonwoo do a quick count in his head as he narrows one eye closed before nodding. âTwelve guys. They each have their issues but they are all good people. You met Jeonghan tonight; despite his bullshit, heâs reliable.âÂ
Twelve close friends. God, you werenât sure you had two people you could call close friends. Wonwoo was incredibly lucky. Shaking your head, you simply smile before taking a sip of your cocktail, making a surprised and happy sound to the taste of it before pulling back from it to look at Wonwoo, who grins.Â
âI thought youâd like that one. It is one of my favorites when Iâm in the mood for something sweeter and some rum.âÂ
Pointing to his drink, you take another sip before licking your lips.Â
âWhat did you order?âÂ
Wonwoo lifts his drink, tilting it before taking a sip and nodding to the taste. It was simple but what he wanted for the night.Â
âA carajillo. Itâs liquor 43 and espresso. Simple but delicious.âÂ
Taking another sip, Wonwoo then sets the drink aside in place of picking up his spoon, cutting off the tip of the cheesecake, and turning it towards you.Â
"The first bite is yours. Itâs their signature dessert.âÂ
Pressing your lips together, you werenât sure if it was the alcohol making your face feel warm or the idea of Wonwoo feeding you but you just smiled. Wonwooâs lips curve up into a matching smile before he lifts the spoon upwards to entice you, causing you to finally give in and lean in, taking the dessert from his spoon as he watches.Â
The entire act is more intimate than you intended, but you quickly feel that embarrassed feeling fade as the luxurious dessert starts to melt on your tongue and you reach up to cover your lips in shock. Wonwoo just grins at your reaction and cuts into the dessert, turning his spoon towards himself this time to take a bite.Â
âMm, I donât admit this to many people but I usually order an entire cheesecake to take home when I eat here.âÂ
Laughing at Wonwooâs confession, you put your hand over your chest, reaching for your own spoon to cut off another bite as you shake your head. It was like eating happiness from a plate and sharing it with Wonwoo, which somehow made it even better.Â
âI donât think anyone would blame you, least of all me. I donât even know how much it costs, and I would still buy an entire one to take home.âÂ
Smiling around his spoon, Wonwoo lifts his hand to get the server's attention, who comes over promptly with a smile on his face.Â
"Yes, sir, are you enjoying the dessert?âÂ
You look up midbite with a smile on your face, causing Wonwoo to laugh and nod.Â
âAbsolutely. Could we please get a full cheesecake to go? Also, give my compliments to the kitchen."Â
Reaching into his pocket, Wonwoo watches the server start to say something he doesnât like but the moment a business card is in his hand and the man reads it, he brightens and agrees, walking away.Â
âYouâre like magic. He was going to say no.âÂ
Shrugging, Wonwoo cuts off another bite, leaving the rest for you as he sips on his drink, enjoying watching you finish off the dessert.Â
âThey donât sell the whole dessert. Iâve been told no before.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you sit up, picking up the last of the cheesecake, tilting your head as you do.Â
âBut seeing Jeon Wonwoo, CEO of Jeon Infrastructures LLC, changes their mind."Â
Turning your spoon towards Wonwoo this time causes the man to perk up. You watch Wonwoo lean forward, accepting the last of the dessert from you this time, before he smiles and nods, feeling a bit proud of himself.Â
âMm, usually. I donât use it much but getting the dessert I want seems like a good enough reason to bring up that you are Forbes 30 under 30 blah blah bullshit.âÂ
You were falling for this man. Most people in his position would use his name for discounts and to get free things in designer stores, but no, Jeon Wonwoo used it to buy cheesecake. You loved that he didnât take himself so seriously or the Forbes title. Leaning in your elbow on the table, you smile at Wonwoo, sincerely causing him to laugh, feeling shy at your attention.Â
âWhat did I do?â
Shaking your head, you use the straw of your drink to take a sip before lifting your brows and sighing happily.Â
âExceeded my expectations.âÂ
With the cheesecake securely placed in the backseat floorboard, you watch Wonwoo grin at you from his driverside window before he opens the door and slides in beside you, starting the car.Â
âWill the cheesecake make it?â  Â
Laughing, Wonwoo purses his lips and leans his head back against the headrest before nodding firmly.Â
âSheâll make it. Couldnât have something so precious sliding around the backseat or the trunk. Speaking ofâŠâÂ
Furrowing your brows, you laugh when Wonwoo leans across the center console to reach over you, grabbing your seatbelt to click it into place.Â
âNow everything precious in my car is secure.âÂ
âYou are so full of shit, Jeon Wonwoo.âÂ
Meeting your eyes, Wonwoo glances down at your lips with a small chuckle before moving back into his seat. He wanted to kiss you but like this, in his car? That wasnât the move. No matter how pretty you were, no matter how much he wanted it, he could wait.Â
âMaybe, but itâs true.âÂ
You could tell he wanted to kiss you and you were almost sad when Wonwoo moved back from you. Your breath had hitched in your throat but at the same time, you felt relief when he hadnât kissed you. You needed time to get your brain in the right place. Shaking your head, you reach up to brush your hair from your forehead and clear your throat into a small laugh as Wonwoo drives back in the direction of your house.Â
âSuch a smooth talker. Not as smooth as Jeonghan, but pretty smooth.âÂ
A gasp of faux shock leaves Wonwooâs mouth, causing you to laugh as he reaches over from the gearshift to slide his fingers along your wrist and into your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.Â
âIâm appalled.âÂ
Glancing down at your hand and Wonwoo's, you feel the butterflies in your stomach fluttering around to the point where you feel queasy. You canât help but smile like a girl falling in love for the first time as you bite at your lip and shake your head, trying to regain your composure.Â
"Oh, Iâm sure you are. Entirely appalled and disgusted.âÂ
Wonwoo grins, his thumb gliding along yours as his hand rests on your lap. He feels the fingers of your other hand tracing the back of his hand and Wonwoo thinks he has died and gone to heaven over such a simple action.Â
âI am, completely.âÂ
You just smile, looking down at Wonwooâs hand as you trace each of his fingers, watching as he extends them to let you do so. Your head is tilting as you marvel at how pretty his hand is and how much you are enjoying his attention. You had almost forgotten what you were talking about, so much so that you just hummed out a sound to his words, making Wonwoo glance at you and smile as you lean your head back on the headrest and close your eyes.Â
âTake a nap; itâs a long drive.âÂ
Wonwoo watches you shake your head no, muttering something about keeping him company but as soon as he starts to tell you itâs okay, heâs smiling at your soft breath, knowing you lost your own fight.Â
Sliding his hand from yours, Wonwoo reaches up to brush his fingers over your cheek before keeping his hands on the wheel, unwilling to let anything happen to the most precious thing in the car while he was driving.Â
When you feel the car come to a stop and hear Wonwooâs deep but soft voice say your name, you furrow your brows, instantly realizing what had happened. Opening your eyes slowly, you frown, seeing the front of your house, before looking over to a smiling Wonwoo who chuckles at your cute frown.Â
âYou let me sleep.âÂ
Wonwoo nods, reaching to brush his thumb across your cheek as you whine his name, feeling frustrated with yourself.Â
âOf course I did. You had drinks and I know you donât sleep enough. You werenât asleep for more than an hour. Come on, don't be upset.âÂ
You just pout at Wonwoo as you undo your seatbelt, causing the man to laugh once again. You were unbearably cute and all he wanted to do was take care of you. He wanted to take you inside and make love to you, let you curl up against him, and sleep the night away but he knew that wasnât going to happen. Not tonight.Â
âSeriously, Iâm happy you got some rest. Let me walk you to the door.âÂ
Watching Wonwoo slide from his seat, you are surprised to see him stop at the backseat, taking out the cheesecake, before he moves to your door to see you looking at him suspiciously.Â
âI got it for you.âÂ
You wanted to hit him but you were afraid he would drop the probably incredibly expensive cheesecake and it was far too delicious for that.Â
âWhy? Itâs your favorite.âÂ
Wonwoo hums in agreement, moving to the side so you can stand beside him and lead him towards your front door.Â
âBut you are my favorite and you liked it so much. Maybe I can enjoy a piece of it sometime soon.âÂ
Swallowing hard, you understand the underlying message of his words. Did he want to be invited inside? For cheesecake, were you the cheesecake? God, you were being ridiculous and reading far too much into this.Â
Wonwoo can almost see the wheels turning in your head as he stands beside you on your porch. It was cold; you were already shivering and as much as he wanted to stay and talk to you and be with you for longer, he didnât want you to catch a cold. You watch as he turns to set the bag down in a chair on your front porch before turning back to you with a smile.Â
âI hope you had a good time."Â
You tilt your head a bit like a confused puppy and Wonwoo canât help but coo at you under his breath, taking a step towards you to not only block the wind but also run his hands along your arms over your coat.Â
âYeah, I did. Thank you. I would love to see you again.âÂ
That made Wonwoo smile brighter than you had seen all night. He knew he had done this right. Nodding, Wonwoo bites at his bottom lip, glancing at yours, before sighing your name and closing his eyes briefly before biting the bullet and speaking up.Â
âMay I kiss you?âÂ
He was asking? God, your head was spinning. You couldnât remember the last date you went on, and at the end of the date, the man actually asked you before he kissed you. This was some romance novel shit and you were living for it. Nodding, you whimper out a yes as Wonwooâs thumb brushes your jawline up to your ear.Â
A small smile pulls at Wonwooâs lips as he nods to let you know he heard you before he leans down to brush his lips against yours for the first time, listening to your whine into the kiss. You were so cute and the sound went straight to his head and his pants.Â
Gripping your arms briefly to calm himself, Wonwoo then slides his hands down to yours, taking them into his own and linking his fingers with yours before deepening the kiss. He wanted more; he could taste the chocolate still on your tongue but mostly he could just taste you and that was intoxicating. You were better than he had even imagined.Â
Leaning up to meet his kiss, you tighten your hands in Wonwoo's, digging your nails into the back of his hands when Wonwooâs tongue glides along yours. This was one hell of a first kiss. He was making your knees feel weak, your stomach was doing flips, and all your body was doing was screaming his name.Â
Pulling back from the kiss gently, Wonwoo nudges your nose with his as he smiles, feeling you chase him. He wanted to give you more. He wanted to give in and ask to come inside but he knew he shouldnât. He didnât want to be that guy. He didnât want to give you that impression of him. So instead, he leans to kiss your cheek and then your jaw, listening to your whimper as he catches his breath, keeping his voice low.Â
âGoodnight, Y/N.âÂ
Holding the cheesecake in your arms, you rest your back against the door, listening to Wonwooâs car drive out of your driveway and disappear down the road before you can make yourself move. Your lips still tingling, you close your eyes and stomp your feet like Jacob during one of his tantrums before walking towards the kitchen, putting the box into the fridge, and shutting it with more force than necessary.Â
You werenât mad at Wonwoo for leaving. You knew it was for the best. You werenât that girl. You didnât give yourself up the first day but for him... God, you would have. After that kiss, you were uncomfortable and needy and all you wanted was to call him and tell him to come back and finish what he had started but instead you kicked your shoes off and fell on your bed, whispering Wonwooâs name like a prayer.Â
Leaning against your counter, you look at your phone, wondering if you were being silly or if you were being dramatic. It was just a phone call. He could say no. He could say yes. Which would be worse? Neither if you never called.Â
Groaning to yourself, you hit Wonwooâs name in your contacts list and put your phone to your ear, listening to its ring as you bite at your thumbnail. Finally, you hear his deep voice say your name on the other end. Instantly, you canât help but smile and feel shy, just whispering back a hi.Â
Wonwoo had wanted to call or text you all day but he didnât want to see you desperate or crowd you. He felt like he had done enough of that the night before with his kiss but he couldnât get you off his mind. Not that he wanted to. All he could remember was the taste of your lips and the feeling of you against his chest. So hearing you smile through the phone made Wonwoo feel giddy.Â
âHey, how are you? What are you up to?âÂ
You had called him; he shouldnât have to lead the conversation but you were glad he was because the moment you heard him speak, you felt like a teenager trying to remember how to talk to a boy. Flexing your toes on the tile under your feet, you smile into your words, wrinkling your nose as you try to calm yourself down, knowing where you want this conversation to go.Â
âIâm okay; how about you? And, uh, Iâm just lazing around the house... I wanted to see if you wanted to come over and watch a movie. Eat some of that cheesecake.âÂ
Wonwoo leans his head back on his couch and grins. He wasnât even sure how he had been feeling a moment before you asked him over but now he was nothing but perfect. Laughing into his words, Wonwoo tries to hide the smirk in his voice but fails.Â
âIâd love to. Anytime, or did you have something in mind?âÂ
God, why did he sound so sexy today? Maybe it was because you were letting yourself think about him that way. Whereas yesterday you were keeping it more professional and trying not to let yourself get ahead of the game, but now... there was a rasp to his voice. You could listen to him talk all day long. You could listen to him telling you what to do all nigâ
âY/N?âÂ
Fuck, you had started daydreaming and hadnât answered out loud. Clearing your throat, you press your thighs together and let out a breath away from the phone before nodding.Â
âAnytime is good.âÂ
Wonwoo could hear your voice shake, and it made him curious as to why that was happening. It caused something in his brain to fire off, his hand tightening into a fist over his knee as he smiles and looks down at the floor.Â
âThen Iâll get ready and head over. Iâll see you soon, beautiful.â
Shit, holy shit. You just whine out an okay to finish the call when Wonwoo calls you beautiful as a pet name. You had gone far too long without being touched, and now you were acting like some touched, starved lunatic even after touching yourself last night.Â
Smacking your hands against your thighs, you shake them out as if shaking out the anxiety and glance at the clock, trying to calculate how much time you would have before Wonwoo showed up, and you needed to be as normal as possible.Â
Perhaps Wonwoo broke a few speeding laws in order to make the best time he could to get to your house, but he had figured out what that sound was in your voice. You had sounded needy, and now Wonwoo was fighting an internal battle with himself to keep it in his pants. That wasnât why he was over at your house. He was here for cheesecake, a movie, and your company.Â
Ringing your doorbell, Wonwoo is a bit shocked at the difference in time it takes for you to open the door compared to the day prior. Today, you still took his breath away. Your makeup was light; you looked a bit better rested, but your clothes were casual. He loved you like this. You looked perfect.Â
He hadnât dressed up either, opting for a simple black longsleeved shirt, jeans, and a jacket now discarded. You were still looking at him like he was dressed in a suit that cost more than your paycheck.Â
âHey.âÂ
âHiâŠâ
Things were awkward but it wasnât because neither of you wanted to be there; instead, there was so much unspoken and undone. There was tension in the air and Wonwoo wasnât sure how to ease it so instead he just laughed softly, leaning to press a gentle kiss to the corner of your lips.Â
âYou look pretty.âÂ
God, he had to stop saying things. Just stop speaking all together, or you are not going to make it. Giving him a pained smile, you just laugh, lifting your hand to your neck to rub it as you move into the kitchen, letting him follow you a bit confused.Â
âDid I say something wrong?âÂ
Wonwoo watches you shake your head. His eyes follow you as you take the cheesecake out of the fridge and then a plate from your cabinet to put one slice on it.Â
âNot even close.âÂ
Furrowing his brows, Wonwoo leans towards you over the island as you take out a spoon and finally glance up at him.Â
âThen tell me whatâs going on. I donât wanna fuck this up.âÂ
Biting your lip, you sigh and lean your head back, making Wonwoo laugh softly as he watches you be dramatic.Â
âI really like you, Wonwoo. Last night was perfect, and the kiss... I donât know how to ask for any of this.âÂ
Tilting his head, Wonwoo smirks a bit when you shoot him a look, turning away to put away the rest of the cheesecake. He follows you, laughing once again, as you seem to almost run away from him with the cheesecake in hand, towards your living room, plopping down on the couch with a pout on your face.Â
âAsk for this? IâY/NâŠâ Reaching out for the plate, Wonwoo sits it on the coffee table before sitting beside you, leaning towards you, and brushing his thumb along your neck, causing you to shiver at his touch. âYou want me to kiss you again?âÂ
When you whine instead of answering, Wonwoo canât help but coo at you like he did the night before. You were so cute when you couldnât just speak. You werenât used to this; you werenât used to asking for what you wanted or getting what you wanted. Wonwoo was going to change that.Â
âIâll kiss you. Anytime you want. As much as you want.âÂ
With his lips hovering over yours, Wonwoo smiles when you lean forward, trying to make him keep to his word. You feel his thumb press to the side of your neck, gently keeping you back from him as he tsks softly. Wonwoo brushes his nose against yours and whispers your name as your lips part for him and he gives in by pressing his lips to yours softly.Â
Wonwoo loved kissing you already. You were soft and tasted so good that he felt drunk off of you. It didnât take much for him to want more. Your hands are pulling at his shirt, one tangled in the front and the other pulling him closer to his side. He wanted to push you down on your couch and climb on top of you, but he wanted to take it slow. This wasnât why you had said you had invited him over.Â
Pulling back slowly, Wonwoo gently pecks at your lips before smiling and sitting back, completely listening to you catch your breath. His eyes finally open, and Wonwoo feels his cock twitch already starting to get hard from just kissing you. You looked like a dream. Your lips were bitten and slightly swollen from his kiss. Your chest was rising and falling quickly from how excited you were.Â
Wonwoo watches you start to calm down as he leans towards the coffee table to pick up the plate with your cheesecake, cutting off the tip of the dessert, waiting for you to open your eyes before he offers it to you. You canât help but laugh as he does.Â
âIn my opinion, the first bite of any dessert is the best bite, and for cheesecake, there is no better bite than the tip of the triangle. You deserve the best.âÂ
Furrowing your brows, you lean forward, taking the dessert from him, only to smile at the now welcome and comforting taste. Wonwooâs words make your chest feel tight and warm as he smiles at you, watching you enjoy the first bite as if it were him doing it instead.Â
âSo what movie are we watching?âÂ
Halfway through The Family Stone and the second slice of cheesecake, you find yourself wrapped in Wonwooâs arms. Your legs pulled up onto the couch as he rested his feet on the coffee table once he knew it was okay to do so.Â
This was your idea of a perfect evening and the perfect date, but you were still stealing glances at Wonwoo as he chuckled at the movie occasionally and reached up to brush his fingers against your cheek. He was so handsome it was hard not to watch him instead of the movie, and around the twentieth time you had done it, Wonwoo glanced down into your eyes and grins, grabbing your chin between his index finger and thumb before you could look away.Â
âNot so fast.âÂ
He watches as you laugh, knowing you are caught. Wonwooâs eyes look over your pretty face so close to his own before he leans in to press a kiss to your lips slowly and gently. There was no urgency behind his kiss but it still took your breath away. You couldnât help but furrow your brows, feeling his tongue play with the idea of touching yours before he would just catch your bottom lip between his teeth and let go with a soft, happy breath.Â
Sliding your hand along his chest, you find yourself whining when Wonwooâs hand slides from your face to your neck and lowers to rest just above your chest. You can feel his thumb pressing against your collarbone, and you want nothing more than to feel his hands all over you. So you press your fingers into his chest and drag them downward over his stomach,feeling him suck in hard and smile against your lips.Â
âFuckâcareful. Trying to be good.âÂ
Shaking your head, you grip his shirt and tug at it, feeling Wonwooâs hand slide along your arm up to your wrist, keeping your hand in place as you nip at his lips this time.Â
âY/N, I want you too much. If you keep that upâŠâÂ
âWhy do you think Iâm doing it, Wonwoo? Touch me, you idiot.âÂ
Wonwoo laughs against your mouth as you insult him and then tug at his shirt, pulling your leg along his thigh and begging for him to touch you. God, how could he say no to that? You felt so good against him, and even your breaths sounded so pretty on his lips.Â
âYou want me to touch you? Here?âÂ
Sliding his hand from your chest to your shoulder and along your back, your whine furrows your brows as you all but growl annoyed against his lips. Wonwoo grins into the kiss, deepening it as his hand finally moves to your ass, gripping it tightly and earning himself a moan from you as he does. Your hand loosens on his shirt and goes back to scratching at his torso over his shirt until you find a bit of skin just above his jeans and slide your hand under his shirt over his abs, causing Wonwoo to groan your name.Â
âShitâŠbaby.âÂ
Wonwoo hadnât meant to call you a pet name, but your nails felt too good scratching his skin as your mouth moved to his neck. You just smile, enjoying it as his fingers dig into your pants under your ass before he presses his fingers between your legs, making you arch your chest towards him, your breath getting caught in your throat.
âThis okay?â Wonwoo watches you nod, a soft yeah falling from your lips as he rubs at your pussy through your sweat pants and panties feeling your soft breasts press against his chest through your clothing. âYouâre warm, baby. WannaâŠGod, I wanna ââÂ
He wasnât sure he could finish the words but he didnât have to as you whined his name and met his eyes. The need is evident in your gaze before the words ever leave your lips.Â
âTake me to bed, Wonwoo. I need you.âÂ
He wasnât even sure where your bedroom was but Wonwoo nodded and let you grab his hand, tugging him up from the couch and towards the hallway. His eyes only move from you once or twice to glance into rooms, noticing which one is Jacobâs before you pull him into your bedroom and drop his hand, letting him decide what to do next.Â
Wonwoo just stares at you for a moment in awe. He was overwhelmed with what he could do and what he wanted to do. He had dreamed about this for longer than he was willing to admit. He had pictured laying you on the bed and having you moan his name, and now you were standing in front of him, wanting him to fuck you.Â
Stepping forward, Wonwoo shakes his head as he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you back into his arms so he can lean down and kiss you deeply once more. He knew he would never get tired of the feeling of your lips against his or the way you melted into his arms as he did it. Your panting moans against his lips are the only reason he pulls back and works his finger tips under your shirt as he walks with you back towards the bed, letting you sit on it as he smiles down at you.Â
âIâm so fucking lucky... before we go any further. BabyâŠI didnât come over here to plan this. Do you have a condom for me?âÂ
As you shake your head, Wonwoo feels a bit of disappointment rush through him, but he just nods. There was still plenty he could do. He simply smiles and leans down to press a kiss to your jaw as he lays you back on the bed, dragging your shirt up to your chest over your breasts.Â
âThatâs okay. I can just take care of you.âÂ
You shake your head again, lifting your leg to rub along the outside of his thigh before doing the same between his legs, carefully listening to him groan quietly against your stomach as he presses kisses on your skin.Â
âNo, I have an IUD. I havenât been with anyone in over a year. WonwooâŠI want you.âÂ
Burying his face against your breasts, your bra soft against his cheek, Wonwoo groans at your words before glancing up at you with a nod. You were trusting him with something important and he wasnât going to fuck that up.Â
âItâs been over 6 months for me, but I get tested. I am cleanâŠbaby if this is what you want, IâmâŠyeah, I want you too.âÂ
Arching off the bed, you roll your hips towards Wonwooâs to answer his question, making him groan into a laugh as you do.Â
âOkayâŠyeah. I got you.â
Wonwooâs hands find the end of your shirt as you lift your arms, letting him drag it up and over your head. His eyes move over your upper body as if he were looking at a piece of fine art. You canât help but smile, feeling your cheeks burning at his attention when Wonwoo grins down at you, the back of his right hand running between your breasts as his left moves behind you, working the clasp open.Â
He was intoxicated without taking a sip of alcohol and it was all because of you. Wonwoo could picture himself dreaming about this moment every night. He could envision waking up next to you and burying his face against your neck and his fingers between your legs, listening to your moans.Â
âWonwooâŠâÂ
There was that needy sound in your voice once again. It was making Wonwoo painfully hard; he could feel how much he was leaking in his boxers. It was driving him insane how much he wanted to be inside of you. Each one of your moans drives him a little bit more insane with lust.Â
âBaby, youâre killing meâŠâÂ
You could feel Wonwooâs cock pressed against his jeans as you rubbed your leg against him. You wanted him out of his clothes and you wanted him to get your clothes off of you. He was moving too slowly for your liking.Â
âI might kill you if you donât get inside of me.âÂ
Laughing, Wonwoo drags the straps of your bra down your arms as he shakes his head. He knew it was an empty threat and yet he knew he wouldnât keep you waiting for long. Every time he glanced up at your face, your eyes were on him; your lips were either parted or you were biting on them. He was dying either way.Â
Arching towards Wonwoo, you whimper as his breath fans across your chest. His hands slide along your sides until his thumbs press under your breasts, pushing them upwards. Wonwoo smiles as he looks up at you before pressing a kiss on the swell of each of your breasts. He was enjoying watching you fall apart. He was enjoying watching your mind melt as all coherent words fade away into nothing but Wonwoo, Wonwoo, Wonwoo...
âYou are so beautiful. Please donât make me rush, baby. Not this timeâŠâÂ
This time. The words make you laugh into a moan as Wonwooâs lips wrap around your right nipple, his thumb and forefinger lightly massaging your left. This time, you think again. He wanted another time. How many times did he want? You wanted forever with how he was making you feel.Â
Wonwoo smiles upon hearing you moan his name, his eyes moving back up at your face as he rests his teeth against your nipple, just barely applying any pressure. He watches as you push your head back into the pillow, your hand reaching up for the headboard, only for your nails to scratch at the fabric lightly. Wonwoo groans against your skin as you roll your body like a wave towards him, enticing him to move further and give you more.Â
âDonât rush meâŠâÂ
His voice is a whisper between kisses as Wonwoo works his lips across your breasts and up your chest to your throat as his fingers slide towards your sweatpants. You werenât trying to, not consciously, but your body was begging him to hurry. He could feel the goosebumps spreading along your skin at his touch. He could feel the hitching of your breath in your throat under his lips as his fingers slipped under the top of your pants and over your panties between your legs.Â
âMm⊠WonâWonwooâŠâÂ
All that need and desire. Wonwoo hisses as you moan his name again. His teeth scratch against your neck as his middle finger presses to the center of your slit, feeling your warmth and how you were soaking through the lace covering you.Â
âIâm here. Let me tell you what Iâm gonna do, mmâokay?âÂ
You nod and let out a loud breath as Wonwooâs teeth catch your ear, only for him to breathe against your ear and then laugh at your reaction. It wasnât a cruel laugh, but instead, you could tell that he was overwhelmed with his own desire. He was fighting every instinct to fuck you into the mattress without ceremony. He knew you deserved better.Â
âIâm going to finish undressing you and myself.â Wonwoo smiles as you grab at his shirt, making a happy sound. âThen Iâm going to taste you; use my fingers to prep you for my cockâŠâÂ
Furrowing your brows, you whine to Wonwooâs words, looking up at him as he leans back, opening his eyes. You could feel him through his jeans as he laid against your hip on the bed. He was big, perhaps bigger than any man you had been with before. Hearing his words while his finger pushed your panties to the side and you felt his skin slide between your wet folds caused you to say his name with even more lust laced in your voice.Â
He had told you what was coming next and yet when Wonwoo slid his hand from your pants you still wanted to cry. You could hear the soft coo in his voice as he tried to keep you calm.Â
âShh⊠Iâm not leaving you. Told you what I was doing, didnât I?âÂ
You nod as you watch Wonwoo take off his glasses and lean to put them on your nightstand. He looked good either way you instantly think to yourself but there was something mildly dangerous about Wonwoo without his glasses. A smirk forms on the manâs lips as you watch him drag his shirt over his head. He can feel your fingers in the loops of his jeans as an anchor to keep him tethered to you, forcing him to keep his promises.Â
You had begun to play with the button, keeping his pants closed but you werenât sure if you should. You didnât know if Wonwoo would be okay with you undoing it but one low chuckle that went straight to your core, causing a new rush of arousal, told you otherwise.
Glancing down at your fingers as you circle the button, Wonwoo bites his bottom lip before looking up at you. Your fingers were delicate compared to his. There was something about that that was causing his brain to misfire and picture the dirtiest things but he would never tell you not to undo his pants, especially as he had already been undressing you.Â
âGo ahead, baby. Iâm yoursâŠâÂ
Wonwooâs words make you look up at him in surprise. He just smiles at you as you rest your fingertips on the top of his jeans before you let out a breath and mutter something under your breath. Wonwoo feels pressure release as you unzip his jeans; a bit more space is given for his hard cock but he canât help but tilt his head and reach down to your face, titling it back towards him out of curiosity.Â
âWhat did you say? You were so quiet.âÂ
Your cheeks were already burning from his attention but when Wonwoo wants you to repeat what you had barely whispered above a breath, you all but whine in protest, causing him to laugh. Shaking his head, Wonwoo slides back from you to kick off his jeans before reaching for the top of your sweatpants, beginning to drag them down as he looks into your eyes and asks again.Â
âWhat did you say, sweetheart?âÂ
Closing your eyes, you swallow hard at the pet name and the feeling of Wonwooâs knuckles running along the length of your legs as he pulls your pants from your body completely.Â
âIâjustâŠthat I want to be yours too. Ifââ Your words get caught in your throat as Wonwoo kisses your inner thigh, his fingers wrapped in the sides of your panties pulling them down just like your pants, before he groans for you to go on. âWonwoo! I canât talk like this when you are kissing my thighs.âÂ
Chuckling once again, Wonwoo opens his eyes as he leans back to lift your legs, pulling lace from your feet, and drop your panties onto the floor onto a growing pile of clothes. He keeps your legs closed on purpose as he looks over your body up to your face, lifting his brow in a daring look, allowing you to finish.Â
This hadnât been what you had wanted. You hadnât wanted him to stop. You wiggle in Wonwooâs grasp, his hand holding your ankles as his free hand runs along the back of your thigh. You could see the patience in his eyes and it was frustrating.Â
âWonwooâŠâÂ
âFinish what you were saying.âÂ
Damn him. Pressing your head back against the pillow, you scratch at the comforter under you, listening to Wonwoo smile into a breath as you do.Â
âIf you are mine, then I want to be yours.âÂ
Wonwoo knew what you were going to say. At least he had a good idea of where you were going with your words but he had to hear them. It was all that he wantedâfor you to be hisâŠcompletely.Â
âThen youâre mine.âÂ
You feel Wonwooâs fingers let go of your ankles in place of lifting your left leg and placing it on the bed. A soft whimpering moan slips from your lips when you feel the way your folds pull apart between your legs as Wonwoo pushes your legs up, giving him room to lay between them.Â
Licking his thumb first, Wonwoo then presses it between your wet lips, barely putting any pressure on your clit to watch your reaction. The way that you hold to the bed, rolling your hips towards his hand, Wonwoo can only smile as he leans to press a soft kiss to your thigh.Â
With a brush of his knuckles, Wonwoo teases his fingers down to your leaking opening while leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of your mound. The center of your legs is warm and inviting and Wonwoo thinks to himself how he could be here for hours if youâd let him. He could picture himself listening to your whimpers as he ran his tongue along your soft folds, avoiding your clit as he slowly rutted his hips against your bed for some bit of relief.Â
âShit, baby⊠You taste good.âÂ
Wonwoo couldnât help but lick his lips, already tasting the arousal you were leaking that was running along his fingers from just teasing you. He needed more and he was getting greedy. Slipping the first finger into you, Wonwoo groans when your soft walls not only welcome him in but they also tighten and quiver.Â
He canât help but breathe hot breath against your pussy as he slides in closer to you, getting addicted to the feeling of the warm velvety walls around his finger and thinking how good it will feel around his cock. Groaning your name, Wonwoo circles his finger inside of you and curls it back towards him before adding a second.Â
Your reaction is like bliss for Wonwoo and he canât stand it anymore. You arch your back, feeling his tongue run flat from the base of his fingers over your clit and back. Itâs messy between the way you are leaking from each pump of Wonwooâs fingers and how he groans, pulling back from your folds with spit covering you and his mouth.Â
âYouâre so tight.âÂ
You arenât even sure if Wonwoo is actually speaking to you or if he is just saying the statement out into the room as he leans back in to pull at your folds with his lips. You could feel how tightly you were closing in around his fingers but you were going to cum and there was no way you could stop it. Whimpering his name, you lift your hips only for Wonwoo to push them back down his mouth, finding your clit when your whisper becomes a sound from your chest as you orgasm hard around his fingers for the first time.Â
Wonwoo smiles, feeling you cum, his tongue teasing your clit until you reach between your legs to tug at his hair, making him chuckle against your pussy. It was bad enough his fingers were still inside you, fucking your cum back into you lazily. You couldnât stand his skillful tongue abusing your tender clit anymore, not right now.Â
With one last kiss to your thigh, Wonwoo groans, slipping his fingers from your pussy. His eyes move from your now swollen folds to his fingers before he glances up at you and sucks them clean with a groan to your taste. When you smile and lift your hand to cover your face, you hear Wonwoo laugh. You feel his knee rest between your legs and his clean hand pulls your hand from where you were trying to hide.Â
âWhatâs that about?âÂ
Looking up at him, you watch as he once again sucks his fingers clean before leaning over you to press a kiss to your jaw as you sigh happily.Â
âYouâre lewd.âÂ
Wonwoo laughs surprised against your cheek, turning his face so he can look at you even so close. He shakes his head and rubs his thumb along your wrist, holding your arm to the bed as he hums out an amusing and thoughtful sound.Â
âAm I? I donât think Iâve ever heard that word said aloud, first of all, and secondly, Iâve certainly never been called it before. All of this because I was cleaning my fingers.â
You smile, turning your head to the side so you can feel Wonwooâs lips press against your throat. He was giving you time to come down from your first orgasm and you could appreciate that but you were already rubbing against his thigh and you wanted him out of his underwear.Â
âYou should find more sophisticated circles if youâve never heard the world âlewdâ spoken aloud, Jeon Wonwoo. And it was...youâ" You laugh, trying not to feel embarrassed by what you wanted to say and the action you wanted to repeat but Wonwoo's chuckling against your ear caused you to rub your lips together. âIt was my cum you were licking from your fingers.âÂ
Grinning, Wonwoo rolls his hips towards you so he can press his thigh up flush with your warm pussy. He could feel you trying to ride his thigh as he ran his fingers along your arm and his lips along your neck. There was something special about hearing you say something dirty, even if it made your face hot against his touch.Â
âHow lewd of you to say, Miss Y/L/N.âÂ
When you push playfully at Wonwoo, he laughs, sliding back and drawing your eyes with him. Any bit of playfulness that you had fades away as you watch him step off the bed and press his thumb into the top of his boxers. Instead, you swallow hard and fight over whether you should look away or just take in what is in front of you.Â
Wonwoo watches your face start to turn when he is about to push his boxers over the top of his cock and he canât help but smile at you. You were perfect and you were his. There was no reason for you to look away from what was yours.Â
âBabyâŠâÂ
His voice drawing your eyes back to him, you hum out a soft yeah in question only to hear it die on your lips as Wonwoo pushes his boxers down for you and steps out of them.Â
âYou donât have to be shy around me, okay?âÂ
You were fully looking at every inch of Wonwoo now and he was telling you not to be shy around him. Whining, you look up from his cock to Wonwooâs eyes, causing the man to laugh at your reaction. Sliding back on to the bed, Wonwoo trails his hand along your stomach and to your hand, picking it up and guiding it to his hip.Â
âTalk to me.âÂ
Shaking your head, your eyes fall to where he had placed your hand, noting that he hadnât left you there by yourself. Instead, Wonwoo was dragging your fingers along his skin and somehow that made it more sensual. Your brain was cloudy with want, your mouth was watering, and now your eyes were back on his very well endowed cock that rested on your thigh as he let your fingers to it.Â
âBig.âÂ
Well, Wonwoo thought to himself with a smile on his lips as you spoke one word. He had told you to speak to him and that was speaking. Shaking his head, Wonwoo chuckled a bit, lifting his brows as he wrapped your fingers and his around his shaft, causing himself to shiver and groan.Â
âBoosting my ego?âÂ
Letting Wonwoo guide your hand over his head and collect some of his pre-cum making the glide smoother, you press your head back against the pillow, glancing from your hand up to Wonwooâs face and back as he speaks. You werenât necessarily trying to do that; you were just saying what was on your mind and that was that Wonwoo was big. You could already feel the stretch between your legs but it was all you wanted.Â
âWasnât my intention? You donât seem like the kind of man who looks for ego boosts.âÂ
Wonwoo grins; you were right. He didnât need his ego boosted. He wasnât like some of his other friends when it came to things like that. It was enough to see your delicate hand and fingers around his cock. This was what he had pictured when your fingers were on his pants earlier and he had given into his own dirty little desires. Now he was leaking pre-cum on to your thigh like an excited teenager, but he wasnât going to apologize for that when you looked like a goddess spread out under him.Â
âIâm not. I donât need them, not when I can have you. I have a feeling that Iâm not going to need much of anything if I have you in my life, Y/N.â
You suck on your bottom lip at Wonwooâs words. Did he even know what he was saying or was it the lust going to his brain? Watching him pull your hand back from him, you almost pouted, but you could see it was getting harder for him to control himself.Â
âCan I? I â I wanna be inside of you."Â
Your head spinning with his words, you moan, feeling Wonwooâs hand sliding along your thigh up to your hip as he asks to fuck you. You hadnât expected him to ask. You were enjoying what he was asking. With your nails digging into his skin, you hold on to Wonwooâs forearm as you nod, watching him smile in response.Â
âFuckâŠokay.âÂ
Wonwoo was quickly remembering that he had the privilege to be with you just the way he was. There was no need to get up and find a condom. No latex kept his cock from feeling those warm, smooth walls that had hugged his fingers before. Cursing under his breath, Wonwoo shakes his head to push the thoughts away for the moment, feeling his cock jerk against your thigh. If he thought too hard about it, he would cum before he got inside of you from the anticipation.Â
You watch Wonwoo lay on his side, your brows furrowing, until he smiles at you and helps you do the same. Pulling your leg over his hip, Wonwoo reaches up to push your hair back over your cheek before glancing between your bodies to line himself up with you.Â
The stretch, as you had anticipated, is intense but welcomed. Wonwoo is slow and steady, his hand moving to the back of your thigh once he knows he is nestled inside you deeply enough. He uses the movement of his hips and pulls you towards him to bury himself inside of you the rest of the way before staying still and listening to your breath as you adjust.Â
Though there was nothing wrong with lying on your back and having a man on top of you, there was something special about laying this close to Wonwoo, feeling your body press up against his as he breathed against your lips. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you as he did everything he could not to start to beg you to let him move.Â
Instead of using your words, you roll your hips towards Wonwoo, granting yourself a deep moan from his chest. Wonwoo smiles against your lips at the feeling of your soft, warm walls constricting around him as you slide over his cock, finally muttering on his lips to move.Â
Simply nodding, Wonwoo digs his nails into the thickest part of your ass, pulling you back towards his hips so he can roll his hips towards you, burying himself deeply inside you once again. Both of you seeing stars, you moan his name before Wonwoo swallows it in a deep kiss, repeating the movement with his hips. He could already feel the pressure building in his stomach, his thighs tightening as his climax balanced on the edge of a cliff, threatening to barrel over.Â
âMore WonwooâŠplease.âÂ
Hissing against your lips, Wonwoo listens to your whispered request, pressing his fingers into your skin. He wanted to go slow to keep you in this position but there was only so fast he could go like this and you wanted more. Groaning, Wonwoo rests his forehead against yours and nods.Â
You gasp in surprise when Wonwoo puts you on your back, his body easily finding its way between your legs. With one hand holding yours, Wonwoo presses his lips to your throat, reaching between his legs to press his cock back into you while listening to your loud moan.Â
He was deeper. The thrusts were more urgent and he was giving you what you wanted. You had asked for more and this was more. You could feel every inch of Wonwoo as he made sure to press his hips flush with yours and roll his hips upwards, listening to your cries of pleasure. You were close and he could feel it as your pussy clenched around him as you had around his fingers before.Â
"Baby, oh my god. Are you gonna cum for me again?âÂ
Wonwoo feels you nod against the side of his face. He doesnât pull his lips from your ear; instead, he just chuckles, a warm and soft feeling that makes you shiver uncontrollably under him as you fall over the edge.Â
Just as quickly as he laughed, the sound faded from his lips to the feeling of you cumming on his cock. Pushing back from you to look down at your face, Wonwoo groans, seeing the way your lips parted in the perfect way before you bit down on your bottom lip, trying to silence yourself. Even then, he can hear you say his name as he quickens his thrust, burying himself so deeply inside of you that he hopes you wonât want or need anyone ever again.Â
âPerfect, youâre perfect, Y/N. Shit⊠Iâm gonna cum too. Where do ââÂ
Hearing his words, you try to process them as quickly as possible but your leg is quicker than your mouth as Wonwoo starts to pull out of you. Wrapping your leg around his back, you pull him back against you and Wonwoo groans into a laugh at your possessive nature until you roll your hips up and heâs a goner.Â
The sound of Jeon Wonwoo cumming isnât one you thought you would ever hear but it isnât one you want to ever forget. His voice is deep and if you would ever admit it to him, it caused you to get wet even at work but his groans as he came were a bit higher and mixed with deep praises for how good you had made him feel.Â
Collapsing onto you, Wonwoo groans against the crook of your neck, feeling your fingers through his sweaty, damp hair. He was still inside of you, though he could feel himself softening. He could feel the sticky combination of his cum and yours against his skin and between your thighs, and he knew that should make him feel gross, but instead he could only think about laying between your thighs to clean you up with his mouth.
Perhaps another day, he thought to himself with a smile before pushing back on his right hand to look down at you. You were a vision to behold. Sweat running down your temples, tears of pleasure still on your cheeks, and those bitten lips inviting him to kiss them. Wonwoo groans your name before giving in and kissing you softly, his thumb wiping away your tears gently.Â
Taking a breath, you run your fingers along Wonwooâs arm humming out a happy sound to his attention as you come down from your orgasm. You feel him finally slide from you, hearing his soft grunt and you canât help but to pout at the empty feeling.Â
Seeing your pout, Wonwoo grins, kissing your lips once again, wiping your other cheek and letting out a soft sigh before he bites at his lips in thought. He was trying to tell himself to chill but the more he looked at you the more he knew there was no way he could. He was in love with you.Â
Your alarm clock made your brows furrow deeply. You could feel warmth against your back, an arm wrapped around your waist, and then the soft breath of Wonwoo against your neck that caused you to smile. The memory of the night before flooding back in and how it had all ended.Â
You had asked him to stay the night despite knowing it was Monday the next day. You couldnât bear the idea of him leaving you alone in that bed after he had held you in the shower and ran his fingers over your body, working your body wash over your skin as if he had done it hundreds of times.Â
Reaching over to tap the stop button on your phone, you turn in Wonwooâs arms to look at the still sleeping man, enjoying the moments to yourself. He was so handsome. You loved the shape of his mouth, the perfect sharpness of the bridge of his nose, and the way he scrunched it when you dared to touch it in his sleep.Â
You would have stayed like this forever if it wasnât for the sudden realization that it was Monday. Monday was the day Daniel would be bringing Jacob back. Jacob was coming back and Wonwoo was in your bed. Wonwoo was in your bed and he was naked. He was very, very naked.Â
âWonwoo!âÂ
Hearing your panicked voice, Wonwooâs eyes flutter open in alarm, his hand grabbing your waist before he sits up, looking around for any signs of danger. Furrowing his brows when he realizes there is nothing, you watch Wonwoo blink a few times before he looks at you sitting up, a look of confusion on his face.Â
âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
âJacob will be here soon.âÂ
Taking a deep breath, Wonwoo wonders if you are panicked because you donât want Jacob to see him in your house or if itâs about your ex but you put all of his fears aside with your next words.Â
âWe are naked, WonwooâŠâÂ
You watch Wonwoo reach up to rub his neck, a laugh slipping from his lips as he nods in agreement. You were right; both you and him were naked. That wouldnât be ideal for a toddler or an ex-husband to see.Â
Sliding out of your bed, Wonwoo moves to pick up his clothes, sliding them back on as he sneaks a glance at you moving to your closet. He knew he would have to go by his house and change before coming into the office, but being the CEO of the company did have itâs perksâŠhe could be late.Â
You could feel Wonwooâs eyes on you as you got dressed. Your cheeks were burning almost as badly as they had when he had been undressing you but you couldnât help but smile at the feeling. You knew you could ask him to leave but for some reason, you couldnât find the words or the will to do it. Instead, you wanted to make him coffee and offer him food. There was still time.Â
"Uh, they will be here anytime. Do you wantâwant some coffee? I can make eggs.âÂ
Wonwoo smiles, sliding his glasses up his nose. You were still acting nervous around him. You had slept with your body pressed up against his all night long and yet you were still stumbling over your words. God, he was in love with you. He just couldnât say it yet. He was terrified of scaring you away.Â
Reaching out to catch your hand as you start to walk past him, Wonwoo pulls you back into his arms so he can lean down to press his lips against yours. He smiles to the happy sound you make, his fingers pressing against the small of your back as you give into the kiss and melt against him, wrapping your arm around his neck.Â
âIâd love eggs and coffee. Do you want help ââÂ
The doorbell stops Wonwoo midsentence, his lips hovering over yours. He could feel his heart start to race in his chest. He had seen Jacob plenty of times but not in this house, and he found himself suddenly very intimidated by the idea of meeting your ex-husband. Putting on a brave face, Wonwoo smiles as you lean back, clearing your throat, to look up at him.Â
âTold youâŠanytime.âÂ
Following behind you, keeping a safe distance, Wonwoo stops in the living room just out of sight, not sure if you want him to be seen as you move to the front door to open it. He can hear Jacobâs happy voice saying momma as you greet him. He can hear a manâs voice telling you good morning and your own voice saying the same. It sounds friendly but nothing raises any alarms with him.Â
Small feet hit hardwood, and then carpet, as Jacob moves towards the living room for his toys, only to stop when he sees Wonwoo gasping up at the man in surprise. You hear the sound and make a face that Daniel can only raise a brow at.Â
âSomething wrong?âÂ
âNo, uh, no. MyâI have a friendâŠÂ Wonwoo is here. JacobâŠMr. Jeâuh Wonwoo is here.Â
Your voice trails off as you get confused on how to approach the situation, moving towards the living room, only to hear Daniel laugh at your struggle. Stopping, you shoot him a look and point in his direction, muttering for him to shut up. Watching the man put up his hands, he follows you, still holding Jacobâs bag, into the living room to see the taller man leaning against the couch.Â
Jacob claps excitedly, moving back to his dad to pull open his bag, taking out the toy car, before turning towards Wonwoo to hold it up towards him, showing it off.Â
âCar! âOok! Car! Play with me!âÂ
Laughing, Wonwoo reaches down with a gentle hand to ruffle Jacobâs hair before squatting down to his level and looking at the car with the same excitement that Jacob had shown it to him.Â
âThatâs so cool. Is it your favorite?âÂ
Nodding, Jacob moves in closer to Wonwooâs chest, making his car sound as you and Daniel watch for a moment. With a fond look on your face, Daniel can only smile and nod, clearing his throat softly, drawing your attention back to him while at the same time drawing Wonwooâs.Â
âWe can look at it in just a second, okay, little man? Momma said something about eggs.â
âEggies! Tots too peese!âÂ
Jacob giggles at his own request, moving to the couch and running his toy across it as Wonwoo stands back up, offering a friendly smile towards the other man.Â
âUh, hey. Iâm Wonwoo.âÂ
Glancing towards you, Daniel raises his brow playfully before offering Wonwoo his hand to shake, reconizing the name.Â
"Daniel, it's a pleasure to meet you. Thanks for treating Jacob like that. It's clear to see he likes you. I know he can be a little hyper, especially after a couple days with me.âÂ
Swallowing hard, you watch your ex-husband and yourâwhat was he? Your boss, your friend, or your boyfriend? Your brain was going crazy now as you watched the two men laugh and shake hands like friends before they glanced at Jacob and then back to you. Wonwoo sighed softly and shook his head.Â
âItâs no big deal at all. Heâs a great kid, and I really enjoy being around him. You two clearly do a great job with him.âÂ
Reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, Wonwoo watches you stare at him for a moment before Daniel smirks at you and lifts Jacobâs bag, only to put it on a chair, breaking your concentration.Â
âThanks, Wonwoo. Well, I have to get going. Let me say bye to Jacob and Iâll be out of your hair so you two can get back to your morning.âÂ
Groaning, you catch the teasing in Danielâs voice, which in turn makes Wonwoo catch it. His cheeks start to burn as he looks down with a chuckle.Â
âNo problem. Uh, Y/NâŠIâm gonna go see how your coffeemaker works.âÂ
You just nod at Wonwoo, letting him slide his fingers over yours as he passes by you, which doesnât go unnoticed by Daniel even as he hugs Jacob and kisses the top of his head. Moving back around the couch, your ex-husband chuckles, leaning to poke at your arm before he glances into the kitchen, watching Wonwoo open cabinets like he lives there.Â
âYou little sluââÂ
âIf you finish that sentence... I will knee you right in the dick, Kang Daniel.âÂ
You knew he was teasing and you were smiling but you couldnât handle it right now. Not with Jacob so close and Wonwoo in just the other room. Pointing at the front door, you listen to Daniel laugh as he offers Wonwoo a wave in passing, getting one in return before he walks with you to the door.Â
âI know who he is.âÂ
Sighing heavily, you stomp your feet on the tile, lightly glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one is watching you as Daniel speaks.Â
âI know you do; now hush.âÂ
Shaking his head, Daniel grins and reaches up to pat your cheek once before dropping his hand. He loved to see you happy and to tease you. You were always so cute when you were flustered.Â
âI like him. If you donât date him, I will.âÂ
âOh my god, if you donât get out of my house..."Â
Laughing a bit louder than intended as you try to kick his leg, Daniel puts his hand over his lips to stiffen the laugh, opening the door to the cold air to escape your attack.Â
âFine, fine. I will talk to you later. Have a good rest of your day, Mrs. Jeon.âÂ
Pushing his shoulder hard, you listen to Daniel laugh as he stumbles on to the porch when you close the door behind him, leaning against it. Your heart is racing but there is a smile on your face. As annoying as your ex could be, you didnât mind the name hitting your ears.Â
Taking a moment, you collect yourself, enjoying the smell of fresh coffee filling the air as you move back towards the living room to find Jacob. You half expected him to rush towards you like he did most mornings after being with his dad. He usually wanted to tell you all about his trip but today you press your fingers to your lips as you lean against the wall, watching him sit on Wonwooâs lap, going through his toys one by one.Â
âOh yeah? Whatâs that one?âÂ
Jacob laughs, trying to say bear, only for Wonwoo to help him get the word right on the third try. Wonwoo grins and holds the boy a bit tighter, only then seeming to notice you watching him. Offering you a smile, he tilts his head, starting to move but you shake your head and lift your hands.Â
âIâll start breakfast.âÂ
Smiling up at you, Jacob babbles about tater tots once again, making you and Wonwoo laugh.Â
âIâll make you tots; show Wonwoo your book.âÂ
Wonwoo smiles, reaching for the small book and offering it to the boy, who points at it and says book, then at the word on the cover.Â
âColors.âÂ
Grinning, Wonwoo smiles against the small boy's head and nods.Â
âThatâs right. Youâre smart, little man.âÂ
You can only put a hand on your chest, feeling your heart tighten with how much you love the sight of Wonwoo with Jacob. Pulling open the fridge, you smile, listening to both of them laugh as Wonwoo helps Jacob through the book, reading each color and listening to your son repeat them back to him.Â
âSo, if you arenât busy tonight, would you want to come over for dinner?âÂ
Wonwoo glances up from his computer to look at you standing next to his desk. Your tablet is in your hands as you scroll through his schedule. The two of you had done a great job at pretending like nothing had changed at work when the door was open but behind closed doors, it was a bit harder for him not to want to put you on top of his desk and eat you out. Your skirt was hugging your thighs deliciously, and all Wonwoo could think was how it had been days since the first time he had been with you. He knew he was being insatiable.Â
âIâm not busy; Iâm never busy when it comes to spending time with you.âÂ
You smile, unable to keep it from your lips, at Wonwooâs words. He was a charmer and it had only gotten worse since your date and night together. You had wanted to see him again but work and Jacob made things a bit more difficult. You couldnât just get a babysitter and take time from your son to spend it with a man. You were a mom first and Wonwoo understood that. But then Jacob started asking for âWoo,â and you knew you had to do something.Â
âOkayâŠJacob will be with me, of course but heâs been asking to see you. Heâs been asking for Woo to come back over and see him.âÂ
God Wonwooâs chest was tight. His heart felt like it was going to burst upon hearing that. He was desperately in love with you and he adored Jacob. He wasnât sure if he had ever seen himself as a father, but the moment Jacob sat down in his lap at your house and started showing him toys, asking him how to say them, he knew he wanted to be in that little boyâs life for the rest of his life. He wanted to be in your life.Â
âOh yeah? Iâd be happy to see the little man. Iâve missed him and his momma.âÂ
That shouldnât make you want him. That was a sweet comment. It wasnât flirty, so why did your thighs push together on instinct? You were down bad for this man. Clearing your throat, you push together your lips, trying to stop yourself from smiling so broadly but itâs impossible as Wonwoo watches your own smile on display.Â
âThen Iâll see you after work, Mr. Jeon.âÂ
Your bright smile and the use of Mr. Jeon cause Wonwooâs breath to hitch. You were testing him. He was going to put you over the desk if he looked at you for much longer but much to his dismay, you laugh sweetly as you close his door behind you, leaving him half hard in his dress pants.Â
âI could do the dishes, Y/N.âÂ
Wonwoo sighs as you smack at his hand, lifting the plates from the table. You had already told him no several times but he was trying to be insistent on helping.Â
âNo, seriously. Go relax. Jacob will have to go to bed soon and he wanted to see you. You canât see him if you are helping me load the dishwasher.âÂ
Grumbling under his breath, Wonwoo leans to kiss your cheek, making you smile, and glances around for Jacob, making sure he canât see it happening. Wonwoo had been good up to that point. He had snuck in a couple of kisses here and there, but he seemed to know to watch his hands when your son was around. You were appreciative of that.Â
Moving into the living room, Wonwoo smiles when Jacob perks up seeing him. He loved that look on the toddler's face and that he could be the one to put it there. He wasnât sure what he had done to deserve it but he would do anything to keep it there.Â
âWhatâs up, little man?âÂ
âWoo! Turn tv on."Â
Wonwoo wasnât sure what the after dinner rules were but you havenât said that Jacob wasnât allowed to watch television so he shrugged and slumped down on the couch, picking up the remote as Jacob pulled himself up next to him.Â
âWhat are we watching?âÂ
Smiling, Wonwoo lets Jacob wiggle his way into his lap and back against his chest as the boy looks at the television.Â
âThat! âOok! Cars!âÂ
Wonwoo laughs as he stops watching the movie, putting the remote next to him. It was well into the movie, the red racecar riding around the town with the tow truck as they talked to one another but Jacob seemed happy as he held his own toy car to his stomach.Â
Dinner had been delicious; Wonwooâs stomach was full and now he had a warm toddler laying against him like a blanket. Jacob giggled at the movie and then curled up against him, running the wheels of his car over Wonwooâs leg before his breaths became more steady. The little boy was starting to fall asleep as Wonwooâs hand ran along his back calmly.Â
Smiling down at him, Wonwoo couldnât help but run his fingers through Jacobâs hair as he watched his small eyes flutter closed. It was around his bedtime. Wonwoo remembered from your date that this was around the time you had mentioned so it made sense, especially with a full stomach, that he would be tired.Â
Maybe he should put him to bed? But then he might wake him up? Shaking his head to his own thoughts, Wonwoo just smiles as his own eyes start to close, the movie a quiet background to the soft breaths of the toddler asleep in his arms.Â
Finishing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen, you curse under your breath, seeing the time and realizing it was past Jacobâs bedtime. It wasnât a huge deal, but you didnât want him to be wound up and harder to put down, especially with Wonwoo over. You start to speak but stop short when you move into the room to find Jacob asleep, laying on Wonwooâs chest. The manâs eyes closed as he pats your sonâs back gently.Â
Your heart was full and you felt tears on the rims of your eyes as you watched them for a few minutes, not wanting to interrupt the moment. It was so rare that Jacob was this content, and you werenât sure how Wonwooâs life was outside of what he had spent with you but it was nice to see him at peace.Â
Finally moving into the room, you turn off the television before leaning to brush your fingers over Wonwooâs hair, causing him to smile and open his eyes to look up at you. Whispering hi, he glances down at Jacob, causing you to smile as you drop your fingers to that of your sonâs hair, brushing through the slightly tangled locks, careful not to wake him.Â
âI can get him to bed.âÂ
Furrowing his brows, Wonwoo shakes his head and shifts slightly before looking up at you.Â
âI can carry him, if thatâs okay with you.âÂ
Your heart was so tight with how much you were falling for Wonwoo that it was almost painful. Pressing your lips together, you nod and take a step back, letting Wonwoo move to his feet carefully. You watch as he cradles your son to his chest, shifting him so that his little cheek rests on his shoulder, Wonwooâs arm against his legs, and his other hand behind his back, before he smiles at you, waiting for you to lead the way.Â
Reaching up to pat your lips and trying to keep yourself from smiling too big, you just shake your head and start walking in the direction of Jacobâs bedroom with Wonwoo in tow. He watches as you turn on Jacobâs nightlight and pull back his covers, letting him lay down in the small bed.Â
âThank you, Wonwoo.â
Smiling, Wonwoo nods at you, taking a few steps back so you can sit next to your son, tucking him in and shushing him back to a deep sleep. Leaning against the door frame, Wonwoo canât help but picture every night going exactly like this. Watching you put Jacob to bedâperhaps another child in the futureâbefore he would bring you back into his arms...
You nuzzle your nose against Jacobâs cheek as he smacks his lips, his little hand wrapped around your fingers. You could tell he was tired and happy and that was all you wanted in lifeâfor your son to be happy. Pressing your lips to his forehead, you smile and lean back, carefully taking your hand back before whispering as you smooth his hair one last time.Â
âGoodnight, baby. I love you.âÂ
Wonwoo watches. You have to pull yourself away from Jacob, but the moment you turn back to him, you smile, and he just shakes his head in awe of how beautiful you are. Reaching out his hand, he takes yours, leading you out into the hall and letting you stop to close Jacobâs door before he leans to press his lips against your forehead.Â
âStayâŠâÂ
Your words cause Wonwoo to close his eyes. He hadnât been sure what you would want but he had hoped you wouldnât want him to leave. Lacing your fingers with his, you turn towards your bedroom, leading Wonwoo with you.Â
Wonwooâs fingers fall from yours as you step to close your door, turning to rest your back against it as he watches you. Swallowing hard, he furrows his brows, almost nervous to move this time. He didnât want to do anything wrong, especially since he knew the two of you werenât alone tonight and if that meant just sleeping with you in your bed, he was okay with it.Â
As if sensing his apprehension, you smile and step forward, pulling your shirt up and over your head, only to drop it and hear Wonwooâs shaky breath once you are in reach of him. His fingers run over your sides and up to the clasp of your bra, resting in the middle of your back, when you look up to meet his eyes.Â
âMake love to me. YesâŠwe have to be quiet but you can still make love to me.âÂ
Wonwoo nods, his fingers working open the clasps as he leans down to meet your lips gently at first, only to deepen the kiss when your nails scratch under his shirt, pulling him closer to you. You listen to him bite back his own groan by pushing his lips against yours when your nails dig into his skin at his hips, causing you to smile on his lips.Â
âFuck, Y/N. You told me to be quiet.âÂ
Nodding, you look up at him innocently and Wonwoo shakes his head, scoffing at you. A small squeak slips from your lips when Wonwooâs arms slide under your ass, picking you up even for a moment so he can lay you back on your bed. Laying over you, Wonwoo grins down at you, seeing a look of surprise in your eyes.Â
âDonât tease me.âÂ
You smile, your bottom lip caught between your teeth at Wonwooâs words. He didnât mean it and you knew it.Â
âNo?âÂ
Shaking his head, Wonwoo narrows his eyes at you playfully as you lift your hips, letting him help you out of your jeans and panties. Between brief kisses to your breasts, stomach, and legs, you watch Wonwoo strip out of his own clothes before he is back on your bed, resting against your headboard and pulling you onto his lap.Â
âI donât think you mean it.âÂ
Wonwooâs brow lifts at your words before a long, soft groan slips from his lips as your hand wraps around his cock, twisting slowly. You were sitting back on his thighs just enough that he could picture you sitting on his cock but now here he was watching your pretty hand work over his length, teasing him like he had told you not to.Â
âIâfuck. Did mean it.âÂ
Leaning to press a kiss to his cheek, you stroke Wonwooâs cock from his base to his head, letting your palm roll over his head before repeating the process all over again.Â
"No, you didnât. You like to be teased, Wonwoo. Least by me, I think... am I wrong, baby?âÂ
BabyâŠWonwoo groans your name when you call him the pet name. God, you were his, and he wanted you forever. You were right about everything. In the past, he had hated to be teased but as you pressed your thumb into his slit and then played with the pre-cum that oozed from his tip, Wonwoo could only pant out your name like a prayer.Â
âIâm not wrong. You are so wet, baby. You came so much inside me last time. Will you cum as much this time?âÂ
Since when did you talk this dirty? You had been so shy. Where did this confidence come from? Wonwoo was in love with every side of you. The shy little pillow princess that he had fucked into the mattress last time and this vixen who was making him whimper like a puppy looking for a treat now.Â
âYeahâŠfuck, yeah. I will... for you. BabeâŠfuck me. Let me be inside you. Donât make me cum like this, please?âÂ
Jeon Wonwoo was begging you. Swallowing hard, you feel the power of that rush to your brain and between your legs as arousal drips from you and onto his thighs. This was the same man that you had daydreamed at work about letting him push your skirt up and fuck you over his desk and now youâd have new daydreams. Perhaps youâd do this exact thing at work as you sat on his desk, watching him try to work.Â
This man was bad for your work professionalism.Â
Wonwooâs head falls back against the headboard as you lower yourself down over him. He had missed your pussy. He had missed being inside of you. He had dreamt about it. Not only fucking you but just being inside of you. Just sitting and being warm inside your walls as he worked or watched television. You were that good.Â
With your hands resting on his chest, you whimper Wonwooâs name, feeling that now familiar stretch as he pushes his hips up to meet yours. Sliding his feet up on the bed, Wonwoo grasps your hips and lifts you up to rest your knees on the mattress on either side of him so he can thrust up into you slowly and deeply.Â
Wonwoo was already close. You had put him right on the edge of his climax with your hand, and now your perfect pussy was gripping him like a warm, wet vice, and his head was spinning. Reaching down with his right hand, Wonwoo rubs his thumb between your folds and you have to bite down on your lips to stop the scream from escaping your lips with how quickly your own orgasm starts to sneak up on you. The pressure between the way his cock fills you up and the circles his thumb draws over the bundle of nerves plummets you over the edge.Â
With your thighs shaking, you fall forward, your mouth resting against Wonwoo as you orgasm hard and fast. Clenching his jaw, Wonwoo breathes through the feeling of your body, milking him for every last drop he has to offer until he canât stand it anymore and gives it to you. With a groan you are quick to silence, Wonwoo thrusts up hard, pressing his hips flush with yours as he cums as he promised, filling you just as full as he had the first time.Â
Your body is weak as you rest against him, and you canât help but laugh softly as Wonwooâs hand runs along your back. Letting out a slow breath, Wonwoo shakes his head and starts to speak when the sound of tiny cries comes from a room down the hall, drawing your attention.Â
âJacob is awakeâŠâÂ
With a look of panic in your eyes, Wonwoo watches as you quickly but carefully climb from him to rush to the bathroom as he reaches for a tissue, cleaning up the best he can before pulling on his sweatpants. The sound of tiny feet and then hands smacking your door broke Wonwooâs heart as he glanced at your bathroom door.Â
Unsure what to do, Wonwoo paces in place, meeting your eyes when you move out of the bathroom dressed in a long t-shirt. Raising his hands, Wonwoo whines as you whisper itâs okay to him and you move to the door, opening it for Jacob.Â
Moving into your arms, Jacob sobs softly and mutters about scary things and a dream as you pat his back, lifting him into your arms. Watching for a moment, Wonwoo glances around the room, quickly picking up a few clothes before moving towards you to run his hand over Jacobâs hair, drawing the toddlerâs attention.Â
âItâs okay, little man. Your mommaâs here.âÂ
You smile as your son sniffs away his tears nuzzling against you for a moment longer before reaching for Wonwoo, causing the man to mutter a surprised oh.Â
âYeah, okay. I got yaâŠÂ what do weââ
He looked so lost and handsome that it broke your heart. Laughing softly, you move to your bed as Wonwoo comforts your son, bouncing him gently in his arms. Pulling back the covers, you pat your bed and Wonwoo nods, moving to lay Jacob down, only for the boy to cling to his neck, pulling him towards him.Â
âItâs okay, Wonwoo... lay down with him. You are comforting.âÂ
Jacob whines when Wonwoo looks unsure, a panicked âWoo!â falling from the toddler's lips, making Wonwooâs face soften as he lays down next to your son, letting the child curl up on his chest.Â
âI think, for one, you remind him of his dad and for two, he really likes you. I canât blame him.âÂ
His cheeks burning, Wonwoo smiles at you, lifting his hand to brush Jacobâs hair from his forehead as the boy finds a comfortable spot.Â
âJust don't⊠I donât wanna overstep.âÂ
Shaking your head, you turn off the light before sliding into the bed next to Wonwoo and Jacob, feeling a tiny hand reach for you, pulling you closer to him and Wonwoo.Â
âYou arenât.â
Wonwoo can only nod as he listens to Jacobâs breath steady out. The same sound of the toddler falling asleep on the couch starts to make him feel at peace as he watches Jacob relax, and he finally looks at you as you brush Jacobâs hair with your fingers humming softly under your breath.Â
He isnât sure how long he watches you, and just listens to you softly sing your son to sleep but when you finally meet his eyes, giving him a smile, Wonwoo canât help himself. You are the most beautiful you have ever been, just like this, and this is the most he has ever been in love with in his entire life. So he just says it...
âI love you, Y/N.â
You donât say it back. It isnât that you donât love Wonwoo back; itâs that you werenât expecting it. Especially not like this. Not while he is holding your son, looking exactly how you would love to see him for the rest of your life. You bury your mouth against your pillow, your cheeks burning as Wonwooâs fingers brush over them and he smiles, seeming to know, before he closes his eyes, letting you off the hook for the night.Â
After a few moments, you listen to the sound of Wonwoo and Jacobâs breaths as the two most important men in your life sleep, and your head spins with how lucky you are before you follow them both in both restful and restless sleep.Â
Mingyu makes a face as he carefully adds the pork belly to the pot on the stove as Wonwoo leans over the island, watching him like a hawk.Â
âDo you want to make the Bossam?âÂ
Shaking his head, Wonwoo leans back and points at his rice maker, clearing his throat.
âI said I could make rice.âÂ
Seungcheol laughs, leaning back in his chair and listening to his friends banter. He wasnât sure why they were all over at Wonwooâs place hours before dinner, but if Wonwoo needed emotional support, they would provide it.Â
âIâd prefer to eat something edible, Gyu, so please keep Wonwoo out of the kitchen, even if he owns it.âÂ
Wonwoo mocks Seungcheol as he leans over the sink, washing the rice, hearing Mingyu chuckle behind him. He was grateful they were there. He had wanted you to meet a few of his close friends. Perhaps not all of them at once, but at least a few of them, so he asked you over to dinner without thinking about what he would make or order. Lucky for him, his best friend was Kim Mingyu.Â
Seokmin peeks over Mingyuâs shoulder, grabbing a piece of cabbage to snack on, only to have his hand smacked by the larger man as he curses under his breath, shooing him away.Â
âMingyuâs a jerk. I was just trying to help.âÂ
Jeonghan shakes his head, leaning it over to rest on Seungcheolâs shoulder as the eldest of the friend group chuckles into a sigh. There was only one of them missing tonight who had accepted the invitation, but the sound of Wonwooâs door beeping and a loud hello announced Soonyoungâs arrival.Â
Wonwoo glances over to the last of his friends to arrive as he holds up two bags with a grin on his face, feeling proud of himself. His jacket has a tiger print that makes Wonwoo groan in embarrassment as he quickly remembers that you will be there in just a couple of hours around these men that he has told you are perfectly normal and good people.Â
âI brought refreshments. Seokmin told me that Wonwooâs girlfriend will be here and probably doesnât get to party much so I will change that.âÂ
Dropping the rice into the maker, Wonwoo sighs loudly before pressing the button to start the cooking before all eyes are on him, including Soonyoung.Â
âItâsâŠlook, okay? This isnât a party. If she wants a drink, that's great, but donât treat this like some frat party.âÂ
Mingyu purses his lips, putting a basil leaf into the pot, before he glances up to watch Soonyoungâs reaction to Wonwooâs words.Â
âIâm just trying to make sure your girlfriend has a good time, Wonwoo.âÂ
Wiping away some grains of dry rice from the counter, Wonwoo laughs at Soonyoungâs words, but the laugh is one of unamusement as he shakes his head.Â
âIâwe havenât discussed what we are. I just wanted her to meet my friendsâyou know, my family. So just be nice to her. Just get to know her and be on your best behavior.âÂ
Sitting up, causing Jeonghan to have to do the same, Seungcheol clears his throat as he rubs his thighs, nodding.Â
âWe can do that, man. SoonyoungâŠlose the jacket. Weâve grown up; we can act classy for a night.âÂ
Wonwoo grimaces at Seungcheolâs words, especially hearing Jeonghanâs light chuckle. He wasnât so sure but he was willing to let them try.Â
âNo, seriously. He ate ramen for six months before he became my roommate. It was tragic.âÂ
Your laugh makes Wonwoo smile, though his cheeks burn from Mingyuâs words. He should have known the conversation would turn to college and how each of them had met, but he didnât know his friends would be so quick to air his âdirty laundry.â
âY/N? Would you like another drink?âÂ
Soonyoungâs voice draws your attention, and you canât help but coo at the man. He had been so sweet to you and made the most delicious Manhattans. Nodding, you watch him hurry off to the bar cart as Wonwoo leans back in his chair beside you, a glass of whisky in his hand that he had been nursing for some time.Â
âThe food was wonderful.âÂ
Wonwoo smiles and nods, glancing at Mingyu, who seems to shy away, turning to Seokmin to speak.Â
âCompliments of our personal chef, Kim Mingyu. I swear, if he hadnât gone into business, he would have gone into the culinary arts like Junhui.âÂ
You smile brightly, leaning forward to look at Mingyu as he shyly meets your eyes. He wasnât at all what you had mistaken him for. Wonwoo had been right; the playboy persona was an act for the press and underneath it was a good soul who was going to make someone very happy one day.Â
âThe best food Iâve had in years. Perhaps better than what Wonwoo treated me to last week, seriously.âÂ
Jeonghan grins, reaching towards the middle of the table for one of the cupcakes he had provided for dessert, only to place it in front of you.Â
âDonât stroke his ego too much. Here, speaking of where you ate last week, I picked these up today for dinner. I thought you might enjoy them.âÂ
You watch as Jeonghan sits back down, reaching for his glass of wine, as Seungcheol, who sat on his right, reaches for a cupcake curiously.Â
âWhat did you get, Han?âÂ
The man grins while watching you cut your cupcake in half, the center melting, causing you to gasp in surprise. Wonwoo just smiles, resting his free hand against the back of your chair as you pick up half of the cupcake, bringing it to your lips to take a bite, before closing your eyes in wonder.Â
In that instant, Wonwoo wished the two of you were alone. It was one of those moments when he wanted to watch you enjoy something alone, but when you laugh, lifting your fingers to your lips to clean a bit of melted chocolate from them, he canât help but smile into his own laugh.Â
âIs it good?âÂ
You whisper a yes and nod at Wonwoo, lifting the rest of the cupcake half towards him, making him flustered as he leans to take it from your fingers as his friends watch. Jeonghan just smirks, tilting his head, feeling like his job was complete. He knew love when he saw it. He was schooled in it, having acted like he was in love hundreds of times but real love... that gave off a feeling and he could feel it even from feet away between you and Wonwoo.Â
Seungcheol nods at the taste of the cupcake, muttering that it was good, until Jeonghan elbows his side and nods towards you and Wonwoo, making him shut up and smile. Seokmin and Mingyu had noticed and tried to keep their conversation low but Soonyoung, in his own world, put your drink in front of you and gestured towards it proudly.Â
âOne Manhattan for the lovely lady, compliments of Kwon Soonyoung.âÂ
Kicking his leg out, Mingyu hears Soonyoung complain about being kicked before he almost notices you giving lovey eyes to Wonwoo, and he backs off with a chuckle.Â
âOopsâŠIâll justâIâll go over here.âÂ
Wonwoo groans, licking his lips, as the moment is ruined and you canât help but laugh, knowing it wasnât the right time or place. So many of Wonwooâs friends were there and you were, in essence, being rude by monopolizing his time and making the atmosphere awkward.Â
âSorryâŠâÂ
Shaking his head, Wonwoo watches you start to put your hand down as he takes your hand in his and kisses your fingers.Â
âDonât be. Enjoy your drink.âÂ
Wonwoo watches you after dinner as he cleans up. He canât help but smile as you do, chuckle when you laugh at Seungcheolâs stupid jokes. He finds himself happily watching from across the room as his friends go on about how they adore you and how you are welcome to call them anytime.Â
That was what he had wanted. They loved you; how could they not? He knew exactly who you were and he knew his friends. There was no way you all wouldnât get along.Â
âI just donât have time to date. Wonwooâs lucky; he found you. Heâs always been the lucky one in our group, if Iâm honest.âÂ
You smile at Seokmin as he leans against the back of the couch, his head on his hand as his elbow presses into the cushion. Wonwoo was finishing up the last of the cleaning with Mingyu in tow, and you had already said goodbye to Soonyoung and Jeonghan.Â
Seungcheol just smiles at you, thinking how wonderful you are, as his eyes move back to one of his best friends as he laughs talking to Mingyu in the kitchen, putting the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. He was listening to two conversations when you said his name, making him look over at you fondly.Â
âHm?âÂ
âI was just asking if you were in the same boat as Seokmin or if there was a lucky somebody for me to hang out with at the next function."Â
Grinning, Seungcheol shakes his head and sighs heavily, lifting his hands off his legs before putting them back down.Â
âI guess weâve all been wrapped up in work but I wonât lie... Seeing Wonwoo this happy makes me wanna try.âÂ
Seokmin just nods in agreement, making your cheeks warm up as you look over at the man who had made you smile more recently than you could remember.Â
âHeâs liked you for such a long time, Y/N. Heâs a good guy. I know things arenât perfect for him, and heâd probably be pissed at me for saying this but heâs genuine.âÂ
Looking down at your hands as Seungcheol speaks, you just nod, understanding what he was saying, before you hear him sigh and stand up, drawing your attention upwards.Â
âYouâre leaving?âÂ
The man nods, glancing at his watch, causing you to frown.Â
âItâs getting late and itâs only going to get colder. They are calling for snow, you know?âÂ
You hadnât looked at the weather today, but he had made a good point. Seokmin makes a face at the idea of the cold before sighing and standing up, making you pout and follow his lead so you can say goodbye to both of them.Â
Moving from the kitchen, Wonwoo looks surprised when Seungcheol offers him a hug, followed by Seokmin, who then moves to you to do the same. You really did feel like you had been welcomed into his family, and it was causing you to feel a bit overwhelmed suddenly.Â
âI guess it is getting late. Let me see these guys out, and Iâll be right back.âÂ
Mingyu groans, looking at his phone, before moving to you to hug you tightly, causing you to laugh at how strong his grip is and yet how warm it feels.Â
âDonât be a stranger, Y/N. I like you better than him.âÂ
You feel Mingyuâs head move towards yours before he laughs, and you know that Wonwoo has pushed him, making you smile as he offers you a wink and all the men leave you in the large living area alone. You hear their voices trail off as you wrap your arms around yourself and walk towards the large windows that offer a view of the city for miles.Â
Sighing, you furrow your brows at how cold you suddenly feel in such a large house. You hadnât seen all of it but even in just this space, you felt out of place. You were beginning to remember how different your life was from Wonwooâs as you started to turn from the window, only to see a bookshelf holding a vast number of books and picture frames. One in particular catches your eye.Â
In the picture, you see Wonwoo, much smaller and younger than he is now, in the middle of a group of other boys. They look to be around 19 or 20 years old as they stand in front of a frat house. You look around at the other faces, and you can pick out Mingyu, Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Seokmin, and Soonyoung. Your lips pull up into a smile as you run your index fingernail over Wonwooâs smiling face as Mingyu holds his shoulders and another much shorter man on his other side.Â
He hadnât always had what he has now, you remind yourself. He had told you that many times. You didnât feel comfortable now but perhaps he hadnât always either. Maybe it was cold and lonely at times in this big house when he was alone, and you find yourself frowning as you look at the picture, counting the men, including Wonwoo. Thirteen. He had lived with twelve others, and now he was alone. NoâŠnot anymore.Â
Walking back into the room, Wonwoo stops seeing you by the window with a picture frame in your hand. He canât help but smile a bit at how pretty you are at first, but then the smile fades as he sees the concerned look on your face when he gets closer. Wrapping his arms around you from behind, Wonwoo rests his chin on your shoulder and looks down at the picture of him with his friends in college; he was still friends with all of them. They had all reached varying levels of success, like they had promised. He was proud of all of them.
âAre you okay?âÂ
You nod but then sigh, leaning back against Wonwoo as you put the picture back on his shelf, sliding your fingers along his arms and glancing back out of the window at the view. Wonwoo follows your eyes but he focuses more on your reflection in the window.Â
âAre you lonely, Wonwoo?âÂ
Furrowing his brows, Wonwoo holds you closer and tightens his hand on yours as you lace your fingers with his. âNoâŠI mean, not now. I used to be.âÂ
You were right. Sighing softly, you slide your free hand along his arm and shake your head as you look out at the city. Seungcheol had been right. It looked like the weather was getting worse. It looked like it was going to snow.Â
âWhy do you ask, baby?âÂ
Shaking your head again, you just smile softly, leaning your cheek against Wonwooâs.Â
âThis house is so big for just you. I worried you might be lonely.âÂ
Wonwoo canât help but smile at your reasoning. He loved you so much and your caring heart. Leaning to kiss your cheek, Wonwoo feels you smile again as you let out a soft breath.Â
âI love you, Y/N.âÂ
His words are spoken against your cheek as you watch the first bit of snow begin to fall. Your tiny happy gasp causes Wonwoo to look out the window as you make a happy sound, commenting on how pretty it isâthe first snow of the season.Â
âMm, it is pretty, and so are you.âÂ
Turning in Wonwooâs arms, you feel his fingers run along your dress at the small of your back as he smiles down at you. Your eyes meet his almost shyly, before he leans down to press his lips to yours gently as your fingers hold his face on either side with a featherlight touch.Â
âI love you, Wonwoo.âÂ
Hearing you say the words back to him for the first time, Wonwoo freezes and smiles against your lips. He simply sighs, happily stepping in closer to you, his hands pulling your body in tighter to his as he deepens the kiss briefly before letting you take a breath so he can rest his forehead on yours.Â
âSay it again.âÂ
You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully, as Wonwoo traces the line of your zipper up the middle of your back to your shoulders so he can pull it down as he waits for you to speak. Itâs only when you tell him that you love him that he drags the zipper down.Â
âI love you too. So, so fucking much.â
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(180214) s.coups ⥠7th gaon chart awards
JOSHUA ădouble takeă
dear autumn / jeon wonwoo
â Wonwoo x Reader (ft. Joshua, Seungcheol, Mingyu, etc.)
â nonidol!au // angst???? // romance // fluff?????? // drama...ish??? // soulmate!au // somewhat past life!au
â word count: 18k (lolđ§đ»ââïž) // playlistđ¶
âwarnings: curses, lots of pov changes i'm sorry lol, i'm honestly not sure if the pace is a abrupt or not?, i'm not sure how you'll like this OC, she cries quite a lot towards the end sddfgd, that's about it i think
âA/N: happy birthday, wonwoo†shoutout to @ahundredtimesover who's not even a carat but readily brainstormed with me when i askedđ„șđ also special thanks to @sleeplessdawn @twogyuu @savventeen for sparing your time to talk with me when i was unsure where to go with the plotđđ i'm gonna talk more on the author notes at the end instead of here. enjoy! hope you'll like this and don't hesitate to drop by and tell me what you think abt it even if you... don't like it sdjhfbsjhdf
In a world where everyone bears the soulmate mark to find the one heaven perfectly made for them, Wonwoo is an outlier with no marks in sight. But he has more pressing matters to attend to because he remembers his past life and the promise he made to his soulmate that heâd find her again no matter what. Alternatively, He didnât think heâd be reborn in a world where you are made for someone else.
Wonwoo isnât sure when it began. But heâs eighteen when he knows why they appeared and realizes that the memories in his head do not belong to his current lifetime.
They come to him through his dreams; sometimes long, sometimes short. At first, he thinks his mind is just playing games with him, but when he wakes up with an almost perfect recollection of whatever his older self in the dream did, he eventually realizes they arenât simply dreams.
Theyâre his memories from another lifetime. Which one, heâs not sure. Wonwoo imagines theyâre pieces of a puzzleâa very big oneâmaking a bigger picture he doesnât really understand at first until he does. Until it clicks one day why the dream has been getting longer and why heâs getting them in the first place.
Heâs not himself when the dream happens, more like a shadow that watches from the sideline. Heâs been seeing this older self of his for quite some time; he canât be much older than he is now, probably in his mid twenties or so.Â
It was weird at the beginning, knowing how heâd look (looked?) in the future (...in the past? Fuck, this is confusing), but it was even weirder to watch himself with a girl that he seemed to be so very much in love with. Not that he canât blame his other self. Theyâre soulmates, after all, if the identical marks on their wrists mean anything.
The word doesnât even sound bitter in his lips anymore, and he wonders if it ever was.
Sure, he used to question why heâs an outlier and why he deserved to have no one when everyone else around him has someone predestined for themâsomeone that the universe deems just right and someone that will complement them in ways unimaginable.
Heâs never angry though. Just a little lonely.
Itâs not easy to be surrounded by people who are happy with their fate, who have someone that they know is their person for as long as eternity allows them to live. People are subtle with their pity when it comes to him and Wonwoo would like to think it probably has to do with the fact that Wonwoo doesnât seem bothered at all.
Outliers arenât that rare; perhaps one every one hundred people or so, and theyâre not ostracized from society, just that they need to handle the pitiful looks every now and thenâwhich never stops being annoying.
Wonwoo knows thereâs a community for people like him though he has never been one to seek companies. Heâs fine the way he is. Heâd attend their gatherings when itâs one of the rare days he feels like being social, but he doesnât attend enough to feel any kind of kinship towards them. Theyâre just some people who he somewhat sympathizes with.
Naturally, it means the community becomes a place where people try to find their romantic partner. After all, it is frowned upon if you try to date someone with a soulmate even if they havenât met their other half.
âŠWhich makes it awkward when they break up because even if the community isnât very small, theyâre still a minority and they need to stick together.
Hence, Wonwoo never really bothers.
Itâs not like heâs into the concept of romance. When he was a kid, it simply didnât appeal to him. During high school, games were more worthy of his time than anything. And during university⊠How could he when heâs been dreaming of the same girl over and over again? Any other romance potential simply didnât register in his mind. His parents, who obviously had no idea about the dreams, tried to talk to him about it; to try dating and find love but quickly changed their insistence once they realized their son wasnât too bothered himself.Â
He doesnât even know if sheâs alive in this lifetime, and yetâŠ
âYouâre really moving, huh?â Seungcheol brings him out of his mind, reminds him that heâs packing and he needs to get things done.
âThey knew Iâd be the one most willing to move away.â He shrugs. âEveryone else has their significant other here. Pretty sure they asked Namjoon first but with his pregnant wife and allâyeah.â
âIâm sure youâre still a choice because youâre competent.â The older guy reassures him. âWhat do you need me to do to help?â
âHelp me throw away those bags in the living room, please.â
âGot it.â
Five minutes later, Seungcheol pops back into his bedroom.
âAre you throwing this away too?â
Wonwoo looks at the postcard in his hands, a look of recognition passes through his face before he takes it from him before he says heâs keeping it. The older guy throws him a curious look, but Wonwoo doesnât offer any explanation so he leaves him be and returns to the living room.
âAutumn, huh.â He mutters to himself as he stares at the rows of yellow trees and ginkgo leaves adorning the ground on the postcard.
Autumn in the city is beautiful, Wonwoo has heard. He doesnât know how it would be more beautiful there than here with the buildings and the busy lifestyle, but perhaps heâll take the time to find out now that heâs moving there.
Maybe heâll find out once heâs seen it himself.
And maybeâŠ
Maybe heâll alsoâ
âShould we have some jjajangmyeon for lunch? Iâm starving, man. Think Iâd be able to eat two servings and an entire plate of dumplings. What about ordering some shrimp also? I thinkââ
Yeah.
Maybe.
Four months pass by in a blink and July comes around.
The city life is better than Wonwoo expected, but itâs not like he has any particular expectations to begin with. Heâs a twenty six years old doing a regular job, living a regular life. He doesnât have any grand plans in life, doesnât strive to climb the corporate ladder nor make any difference in the world.
By theory, he should be some kind of a main character: an outlier with no soulmate mark and memories of a past life? Wonwoo wouldâve written a book had he possessed any sort of literature gifts. But he can even barely express himself, let alone pour them into writings, so there goes his spotlight.Â
Plus, itâs not like he has ever told anyone about the memories. He tries looking things up online, and except for some ridiculous claims that were eventually proved to be false, he barely finds anything about it that would help. And if he could find nothing in the wonderful, vast world that is the internet, he doubts he would find answers in the real world.
So heâs just another guy. Another Jeon Wonwoo in the sea of people that would pass by peopleâs lives and lots would forget about.
And he doesnât mind.
He really doesnât.
But if thereâs anything he could wish forâŠ
He looks down at the small birthday cake his brother has ordered from the delivery app for him on behalf of his parents, the package greeting him in front of his door when he has just gotten back from work. He doesnât really celebrate his birthdays, and usually only does so if the people around him encourage him to, namely Seungcheol and his family.
Though, now that heâs actually by himself in a city heâs still trying to get familiar with, it does feel a little lonely to be celebrating it alone, if you can even call it that. At least thereâs a cake from his family and he might as well keep up with the tradition.
He lights up the â27â candle and stares at it for a few seconds before he closes his eyes and makes a wish. A familiar smile heâs only seen in his dreams flashes through his mind, the warmth of the small fire blankets his face for a few seconds before it goes out.
I hope I can find you⊠whoever you are.
He dreams of another memory that night.
But, for the first time, heâs not watching from the sideline. The love of his life is pressed to his side as she urges him to blow the candle and make a wish. She takes his face while hers scrunch up into a smile, wishing him âhappy birthdayâ that he doesnât think is the first that day before leaning in to kiss him on the lips.
He catches a glimpse of the single ginkgo leaf on her right wrist, the same exact thing on his left.
Wonwoo wakes up with a jolt before he could taste her lips against his, a thunderstorm outside his window and another inside his heart.
Despite being born in the season, Wonwoo isnât fond of summer.
Itâs too hot and thereâs almost nothing he can do about it. He wouldâve stayed inside 24/7 if he could, but thatâs out of the question because he needs to go to the office and the amount of people in the public transportation is not something he looks forward to.
He doesnât like winter for basically the same reason: itâs too fucking cold.
Spring and autumn are nice. But Wonwoo has a pollen allergy so he canât enjoy the blooming season even if he wants to.
So if someone asks what his favorite season is, he always says autumn.
Wonwoo isnât sentimental enough to actually have opinions about seasons. Like he said, he doesnât like summer and winter because theyâre extremely hot and cold respectively. He doesnât mind spring but he has pollen allergies. And so heâs left with autumn.
Itâs all just practical.
But, if thereâs one season that actually means something⊠itâd also be autumn. And it doesnât even have much to do with the actual season. Itâs the memories it carries.
Yeah, thatâs what heâll call it.
Memories.
Because no matter whatâ
âGet going, will you?â Someone grumbles and goes past him.
Right, another reason why he hates summer. People get (rightfully) annoyed all the time and everyone wants to hang out near the Han river, him being one of them.
What can he do? He was already outside due to prior meetings, itâs hot, and being near the body of water sounds like a good idea if thereâs any. He just happens to be in the area and he supposes why not. Itâs been quite some time since heâs spent some time outside by himself, anyway.
At least heâs by himself so itâll be much easier to find a seat. âOr so he assumes as he sighs, still trying to look for an empty spot to sit down ten minutes later. He doesnât find any, if only because the only one-person spots available are surrounded by couples making googly eyes at each other.
Eventually, he finds one a little further away and settles there with his plastic bag filled with a canned highball and a bag of chips. Itâs only somewhere after two in the afternoon, a weird time to be drinking alcohol, but he sighs blissfully at the first sip and stares mindlessly at the people around him.
He likes people watching, though he doesnât make any grand scenarios about them in his head; simply thinks about how heâs only one of many in the sea of people. That he can be special but he chooses not to be. On the contrary, he likes to pretend that heâs normal; that he has a mark somewhere hidden on his body and he just simply hasnât met his soulmate. That his dreams are simply dreams.
Or maybe they are nothing but dreams.
Maybe heâs simply thinking too much about them.
Maybe heâs just projecting the ideal life heâd have had he not been an outlier.
He blinks.
Why⊠had he not considered that before?
Sure, he feels too strongly about them (and Wonwoo isnât even an emotional person) and is way too conscious because they feel real, but what if his head really is just messing with him? What if they really are just illusions andâ
âHey, sorry, do you mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is full and youâre the only one by yourself soâŠâ
Wonwoo looks up at the weirdly familiar voice, freezing when he recognizes the person in front of him at once, the word coming out of his mouth before he even can stop himself.
âAutumn?â
Surprise colors your face at the name, your head empty because you honestly have no idea what to think. You donât even have it in you to be suspecting, just very fascinated and somewhat nostalgic in the matter of seconds.
Itâs been some time since someone calls you âAutumnâ; the nickname that your late grandfather would always call you by because he said itâs his favorite season and youâre his sweetest grandchild. A few of your relatives adopted the name even though they outgrew it almost immediately after your grandfather passed. Youâve never told anyone outside the family about the nickname, not even your closest friends, as youâd like to keep it dear to your heart.
And it still stings to think about it after his passing ten years ago.
Several secondsâminutes?âpass like that, with you and this stranger looking at each other, mouth a little ajar, unsure what to say. But he breaks the silence first, shakes his head before he apologizes.
âUh, sorry. You justâumm, uh, look like someone I know. You can sit down, sure.â
You nod and whisper a âthanksâ, holding back the urge to ask him about his friend who apparently looks like you and shares your old nickname. But the silence that looms over you both is a little suffocating, and your usual extroverted self who never hesitates to talk to new people seems to die in front of him as you ponder if itâs okay to start a conversation with this handsome stranger.
Perhaps itâs just the weird interaction earlier, you think to yourself, the memory of your grandfather and your favorite nickname that no one except your family knows filling your chest with warmth. The last time you heard someone referred to you by that name was probably a decade ago, and to be referred to âAutumnâ again after so long⊠you wonder if you shouldâve told someone about it if it inflicts this much fondness within you.
Or maybe it wouldnât be so special if you had.
âSo you have a friend who looks like me and is called âAutumnâ, huh?â You try to maintain a confident smile, pray that youâre simply imagining the slight shake in your voice.
The stranger flinches a little, a gesture that youâre not sure what to make of, but then he nods and offers you an awkward smile. âYeah, something like that.â
âYou know, it used to be some sort of my nickname as a kid.â Youâre not sure why youâre telling him this, but you are and itâs almost comical the way his lips open a little in surprise before he mutters a small âI seeâ. You offer your name to him, and thank him once again for letting you share his spot.
âDonât mind it.â He smiles tightly before returning the gesture, and you canât help but wonder why the name Jeon Wonwoo rings something in your head even though youâre sure you havenât met this guy. Youâre pretty good when it comes to remembering names and faces. Youâve never had any friends called Wonwoo, though you recall there were probably some people from your year in school and university who share his name.Â
Never a Jeon though. And he doesnât look familiar at all, so youâre sure heâs not a friend of a friend that you mightâve seen in passing either, but⊠why does he feel familiar?
You shake your head before you let go of the thought, and then rummages through your bag to look for your drink. You take everything out of the way only to find your bottle lying sadly at the very bottom of your tote bag, when you look up again, you see Wonwoo glancing at the book youâve put on the table.
On Soulmates: Love without CommitmentXu Minghao
You hope the way you put everything back to your bag is subtle, like youâre not trying to hide the book youâve been reading and the glimpse into your mind that people can easily decipher from your choice of literature alone. His face doesnât tell you anything though, and itâs his next question that gets your heart beating in irregular beats.
âItâs quite the book, isnât it?â He takes a sip from his can. âGave me insights that I didnât know I needed.â
âRight!â You reply with exaggerated enthusiasm. But can anyone blame you? Anyone who catches you reading that book always gives you the side eye, some people who are frontal even asked why youâre reading something that sounds as stupid as a flat earth. âI havenât finished, but itâs so interesting to read why the author thinks soulmates arenât it because it doesnât give you a choice and everything about the relationship is a given. That perhaps the love that people who donât have the soulmate marks might be purer because they choose to love and they put effort into it. Iâm currently on chapter 7 andââ
You stop when you realize youâre rambling, words of apology on the top of your tongue when you see Wonwoo tilting his head in question. Not in judgement because youâre enthusiastic about it. Not in annoyance because you talk too much when it hasnât even been twenty minutes since youâve met him.
âWhy are you stopping?â He asks, further making you speechless with the genuine interest in his voice. âChapter 7 is about fate and destiny, isnât it?â
You cough a little to hide your flustered face, a little too excited to finally find someone that isnât against you reading this essay. Youâve been wanting to talk about it with someoneâanyoneâ, all those hours youâve spent on countless communities online with people who share the same sentiment as you not being enough.
âYeah. Iâm almost done with the chapter, though I havenât been able to pick it up again these days.â
Wonwoo hums, seemingly deep in thought before he asks you again. âWhat do you think about it?â
âFate and destiny?â
âYeah.â
âI think itâs bullshit.â
He looks at you in surprise; whether itâs because of your choice of words or because of your opinion, you donât know. But he doesnât look like heâs going to jump at you for having such an opinion, so you continue even though he didn't ask you to.
âIâd hate to think that someoneâsomething out there has enough power to decide whatâs going to happen to us moving forward. That everything we do is predestined and that we have no choice whatsoever in life because itâs fated to be and itâs thanks to the universe that something happens a certain way.â And then you add, your voice comparably smaller as you suddenly realize youâre being too open with this stranger. âIt feels⊠confiningâŠâ
He nods as he opens his bag of chips, putting it right in the middle as if telling you itâs okay to take some.
âI agree.â He doesnât meet your eyes as he says this, looking straight over the Han river like heâll find an actual answer there. âIf itâs true, itâs very cruel for some people to know that their life is fated to be miserable and can do nothing but accept it.â
âRight? And, personally, I donât know how I feel about the soulmates concept. You know how in the book it says that soulmates might take each other for granted because theyâre meant to be together? Or that they simply accept the other person because, apparently, theyâre their person? What if the universe messed up and youâre paired with a serial killer or something?â
Wonwoo looks at you alarmed, and you laugh before you say that youâre just speaking in general. He hesitates before he asks, unsure about where you actually are when it comes to soulmates. Are you this opinionated because you donât have a soulmate? His heart skips a beat at the thought of it; or perhaps you simply hate the idea of it regardless. But before he can actually ask the question, his eyes fall to the side of your neck, and he notices the strings of flowers on the side of your neck, something that you also noticeâso you clear your throat to dart his attention away.
âYou feel⊠strongly about it, donât you?â Wonwoo settles it at that, not wanting to offend you somehow. He doesnât deny the mixed feeling in his heart as he realizes what it means. You have a soulmate. Even though thereâs a chance that you donât want them, you still have a soulmate and whatever feeling thatâs brewing on the pit of his stomach, itâs not a good one.
What was he expecting, anyway? That if somehow he found you in this lifetimeâwhich he did, what the fuck. Itâs you who found him, evenâyouâd happily take him in your arms? The bitter taste on his mouth is getting worse by the seconds, only now realizing that even though heâs been wishing heâd find you, he never has any real plan about what to do if he actually did.
It helps that he doesnât actually think he would, so he can hold on to it like a dream that would never come true. Something he holds dear in his heart but doesnât really need to take responsibility for because itâs not going to happen. Something that somewhat keeps him going and some sort of wishful thinking.
You shrug, not offering any explanation.
He doesnât press.
âI think.â He begins, looking at you this time, and if anyone ever asks, youâre going to deny the way your heartbeat picks up and up and up the more he looks into your eyes, your face getting hot like a high school girl with a crush. âYou can always go against your destiny if thatâs what you choose to do. If fate and destiny actually exist, who is there to say that what the universe has decided for you is your best path? Perhaps itâs just one of many and you can try taking another road to see if youâll like it more. Even if they exist, it doesnât mean you have to follow them all the time.â
You lay in bed thinking about his words that night, wondering if itâs as easy as he makes it to be to get away from your path and try a new one.
You dream of Wonwoo, a birthday cake, and a ginkgo leaf mark that youâre sure was not on Wonwooâs wrist when you saw him earlier that day.
You wake up wishing youâll meet him again.
Joshua, youâve always known, is the ideal partner that anyone could ask for. Heâs sweet, he takes care of you well, is respectful, and you honestly feel bad for not returning even half of what he feels for you.
You love him, you really do, but you donât think what you feel for him is strong enough to be considered in the same league with the love that people believe soulmates should have for each other. Itâs nowhere near there.
You love him, heâs very important to you, and youâll drop anything for him if he needs you. But you know somethingâs wrong when Joshua starts talking about living together, marriage, and family, and dread is the only thing that fills your chest.
You know somethingâs wrong when you donât feel the butterfly nor the fireworks that everyoneâand you mean everyoneâsays they experience when they meet their soulmates.
It was nothing like that for you; you knew heâs your soulmate, and if thereâs anything right about what people said regarding your first meeting, itâs true that it just clicked that itâs your soulmate in front of you. But your heartbeat picked up for all the wrong reasons that didnât have anything to do with rush of excitement nor romantic expectation. You were a little anxious, even, but you couldnât do anything when Joshua immediately recognized the feeling once his eyes met yours and he ran to you like heâd give you the world right that very second.
There was nothing magical about it.
Youâre not sure how you feel either about the universe giving you the perfect partner by theory, but also somehow shaping you into a person that believes the whole soulmate thing is bullshit. It doesnât seem to matter whether Joshua notices your lack of romantic reciprocation or not, because Joshua still treats you like youâre the love of his life and he looks at you like youâre his whole galaxy.
Or perhaps he mistakes the way you care for him as romance?
What a fucking drama you live in.
âWhat got you thinking?â You blink at his voice, and Joshua looks at you amused as he settles right beside you despite the heaps of empty space on your sofa. âYouâve been zoning out a lot these days.â
âHave I?â You ask, accepting the way his arm automatically goes behind you on top of the sofa head. You like his warmth, you really do. You likeânoâyou admit that you love a lot of things about Joshua and youâre glad you met him even though you absolutely abhor the soulmate system.
You love his eyes, the way they seem to stare into your soul and are able to tell whatâs inside your mind most of the time.
You love his hands, they always know to wrap around yours when you need it most, pull you closer when you stray away because something distracts you along the way.
You love his voice, so calm and soothing that you would ask him to talk you to sleep through the phone on nights sleep refuses to find you, the way heâll hum when heâs in a good mood though he never actually sings in front of you because he says he canât carry an actual tune otherwise. (Two years since youâve found each other and youâre still on a mission to make him sing because you just knew he sings well.)
But, most of all, you love the way he treats you.
The way heâll ask if heâs not sure what you want him to do, the way heâll carefully thread through your mood when the day hasnât been good, and the way he gives you space even if he wants to be near you all the time.
He respects you. Not only as his soulmate but also as a person, and you canât thank him enough for that.
Perhaps thatâs why it hurts much more now; why guilt is eating you inside out because you can only think about Wonwoo and his words when Joshua is right next to you, his thigh pressed against yours and his thumb caressing your shoulder over your shirt.
If fate and destiny actually exist, who is there to say that what the universe has decided for you is your best path?Â
You force back the tears before they can actually form, gulping before you tell him itâs nothing.
âShould we go out?â
âWhere?â
âHmmm. Namsan? We can take a walk, get you off your mind.â His smile is kind, and you feel like crying again because of how considerate Joshua is. He doesnât even ask, doesnât push even once just in case youâll crack. He simply accepts that you donât want to talk about it and offers you something that might help.
Why the fuck arenât you in love with him when heâs your soulmate and heâs as perfect as someone could be?
His arms envelop you and thrust you into his chest before you could break, and you manage to hold it for three full seconds before the tears stubbornly fall and you whimper softly into his hold. Joshua doesn't say anything, doesnât hush you and asks if youâre okay.
No.
He accepts that youâre not okay and you donât want to tell him about it. That youâre crying and he feel so fucking useless because he canât do anything to help you with it.
That youâre hiding something from him thatâs possibly making you cry even though you never did before.Â
Still, he holds you close and lets you cry.
You grasp the front of his shirt as you try your best to stop your tears. You donât even know why youâre crying this much, but you suppose between the stressful week and the whole Wonwoo situation, the guilt combined with Joshuaâs innocent look trigger something within you.
âIâll just get you some water.â He whispers against your head once youâve calmed down, squeezes your shoulder and then lets you go. Heâs back not even a minute later, and you thank him as you take your mug, embarrassed when you wipe the remaining of your tears off your face. âFeeling better?â
âYeah, sorry about that.â You manage to whisper, too embarrassed to even look him in the eyes.Â
His smile is meant to be comforting, but thinking yet again about the reason why you even cried to begin with, it only makes your heart squeezes painfully.
âYou probably need it. You know I wonât judge.â He caresses your cheek as if to make sure to get rid of all traces of tears there. He searches for your face, as if he can tell whatâs inside your mind just by doing so, and for a moment, youâre afraid that he really can; that heâll see the man that youâve met once some time last week clouding your mind like thereâs no tomorrow. âDo you want to go for a walk anyway? Perhaps you need to get out of the house for a bit?â
âYeah, youâre probably right.â You reach up to circle your fingers around his wrist, smiling back at him because despite everything, youâre still thankful that the universe thinks youâre deserving of someone like him. Youâre still thankful that you get to be on the receiving end of his affection.
Joshua leans forward to kiss your forehead, lingering for a good few seconds before he tells you to get ready.
It doesnât take you too long to get ready, nor does it take long for you two to arrive at Namsan. Climbing the stairs to get to the park, Joshua asks instead if youâre willing to just go further up to get to the peak where the tower is. Youâre not exactly dressed for climbing (though itâs really just stairs, stairs, and more stairs), nor are you in the mood for it, but you think exhausting your body is just what you might just need so you can pass out the moment you reach your bed later on.
He extends his hand, and you take it with a smile despite the pinch in your heart. You spend the first ten minutes in silence, hand in hand as you ascend up the seemingly never-ending stairs.
Already out of breath, you begin to doubt your decision of climbing up when Joshua speaks.Â
âI havenât gone here in so long.â Undeniably, itâs a very nice weather out. You being out of breath has more to do with your lack of exercise on a daily basis more than anything, but even in your predicament you can still appreciate the night view around you. As much as you feel like dying right now, you know you donât actually regret it.
âYeah? Me too.â You grip his hand tighter for support, then ask if you could rest for a bit when you see a rest stop. Joshua laughs as you ask this, though he nods and hands you a piece of chocolate the moment you both sit down on an empty bench overlooking Seoul from where youâre at.
âYouâre a lifesaver.â You moan as you take a bite of the chocolate, leaning your head on his shoulder and stretching your legs. âI havenât climbed in so long. My legs will fall tomorrow, Iâm sure.â
âIâll run a bath for you before I go home tonight.â
You try to trample the way your heartbeat picks up; not because youâre fluttered, but because youâre once again eaten with guilt by how perfect Joshua really is. He doesnât exactly know how you feel about soulmates; youâre not cruel enough to say things right to his face.Â
But you know for sure that heâs aware of your choice of literature.
He doesnât comment on them, and you try not to read them when heâs around. But he once caught you reading on your phone over your shoulder and you sheepishly said you simply find those essays interesting.
Joshua isnât stupid, knows that thereâs a reason why you find them interesting, but he chooses to be in ignorant bliss and says youâre free to read whatever you want and thereâs no need to justify yourself to him of all people.
Yeah, because itâs totally normal that your soulmate is interested in reading essays on why soulmates are bullshits.
Forty minutes later with some short breaks along the way, you finally reach the top. There arenât as many people, and you walk around for a bit to let your legs relax before finding yet another bench to sit on.
âI donât think Iâve ever been here at night.â
âYeah?â
âMhmm. Sure is different from being here during the day.â
âIt is, isnât it?â Joshua agrees, his palm absentmindedly caresses your thigh as if it helps relieve your sore muscle.
âShould we have some cup ramyeons?â You suggest, pointing to the convenience store you pass by earlier. âI think I can do some if I share with you.â
Joshua nods, but before he can offer to go, you tell him he can rest instead.
âIâll go get it. Should I buy two or are you fine just sharing one with me?â
âTwo is fine.â
âAnd the usual drink?â
âAnd the usual drink.â He grins. âYou sure you can take everything by yourself?â
You roll your eyes in mock annoyance, exhaling a âduhâ as you tell him to just wait.
Pleased that the convenience store isnât crowded either, you hum as you go through the snack isles instead. Knowing yourself, youâll probably only eat two thirds of the cup ramyeon and wolf down the snack instead if you buy some; but you donât see why not because Joshuaâs there to finish your food anyway. Plus, itâs a nice night out and thatâs enough to justify your choice of dinner.
Juggling two big cups of instant noodles, a packet of cheese, a hotbar, and a bag of shrimp chips isnât your talent, but you manage and you drop them on the cashier before quickly telling the cashier youâre just going to grab a drink real quick.
Almost bumping into the person behind you, your apology is stuck in your throat once you realize whoâs the person exactly.
What the fuck.
âOhâŠâ Wonwoo says in surprise, the words seemingly out of his mouth before he even realizes. âHiâŠ?â
You give him an awkward smile and nod before quickly going to the drink aisle. Apologizing once again to the cashier whoâs still scanning your purchase (and to Wonwoo) once you return even though itâs barely been five seconds.
âNeed help?â Wonwoo says good-naturedly, gesturing to the amount of things youâve just bought.
âHey, Iââ
Wonwoo looks at you staring between him and the guy who has just entered. Getting the hints immediately that his help isnât needed, he smiles before paying for his stuff and leaves the convenience store.
He looks spitefully at the night sky, itâs so unnecessarily pretty too, unsure if he wants to curse whateverâs up there that of all days he decides to go outside, he just has to see you again. With another guy at that. He doesnât want to jump to conclusions. The guy could simply be your friend for all he knew.
But if thereâs one thing that is Wonwoo, heâs quick to put pieces together. From your panicked glance and the way you tense when you see him, he knows. Perhaps itâs also just intuition. But he just knew that man, whoever he is, is the one that heaven has decided to be the one for you.
He exhales a deep breath before finding a secluded place somewhere behind a tree, carefully hidden to minimize any chance of being seen by you (or seeing you with your soulmate). He wouldâve immediately left if he could, but heâs only arrived and it feels like itâs such a waste for him to leave just like that despite the situation.
What even is the situation?
Heâs been thinking a lot since he met you, if he wants to seek you out again and what he wants to do if he does. The thought is no longer so much of a wishful thinking like it used to be. He knows you exist now. Youâre actually living, youâre real, and you have a soulmate that is not him.
It sounds so much like an exaggeration, but heâs never felt so empty after going home that night, thinking about you and your soulmate. Do you live together? Do you care about him regardless of your stance on the whole soulmate thing? Does he treat you well? Does he get to hold you while you sleep? Does heâFuck.
Wonwoo hates being like this, and heâd love to say itâs gotten better the more time passes by, but it has only gotten even worse because his dream is getting longer and even more prominent since meeting you. And what he hates most is heâs started to feel more and more strongly about you even through his dreams.
What is one supposed to do when they fall in love with an illusion that has a counterpart living in the realm of reality? Heâs pretty sure no one would have the answer.
He glances up at the sound of faint laughter, seemingly so loud in the silent night, or perhaps he simply picks it up because he knows exactly who it belongs to before he even sees you. He bites his lip at the scene heâs witnessing: you, laughing with your soulmate at god knows what.
He canât blame the guy for looking at you like you hold the universe for him. After all, Wonwoo would probably do exactly the same thing had he been given the chance. His past self from another life could vouch for that.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, heâs not sure, you end up sitting a good distance away from where heâs at, your back facing him as you settle beside the man destined to be with you. Youâre not too far that he canât see your side profile, which gets his heart both squeezing in pain and fluttering at the same time.
He doesnât even know that was possible.
Wonwoo looks far to the distance, at the endless night sky thatâs so unnecessarily full of stars today of all day. He wants to think the universe is mocking him, playing a joke on him for being alone by himself on such a beautiful night, making him watch you laughing with your soulmate as the cherry on top.
But he knows heâs not that special.
Heâs just one of many; his misery wouldnât be all that amusing for the universe.
Scoffing at the thought of the universe, he lowers his eyes from the sky only to accidentally meet yours.
Is this the work of the universe too?
Nah, he shouldnât give too much credit to the damn thing. But, then again, blaming it for every single thing that went wrong in his life has proved to be some kind of comfort if heâs being completely honest.
You offer him a small smile anyway, not even waiting for him to return the gesture.
It hurts still to see you with your soulmate, sharing food and talking about what he assumes to be nothing and everything. But as he lays in bed that night and thinks about your smile, he admits that if the universe lets him meet you in this lifetime, perhaps it isnât so bad, after all.
Wonwoo has always liked the number three.
Thirdâs time the charm and all that jazz. He doesnât hold on to it religiously, just some fun little routine that he finds amusing. When he takes an item in a grocery store, he takes the third one from the front; when he goes to the convenience store because he needs one (1) thing, he takes two small snacks so itâs three items in total; on the rare days when Wonwoo feels like trying a new drink in a cafe, heâd just choose the third item in the menu.
Itâs fun.
Today, Wonwooâs supposed to meet Mingyu for a little get together. Heâs the first friend heâs made in Seoul, a guy thatâs a little too flashy for his liking but is still a good person nevertheless and definitely a much better company than most people that heâs made to be acquainted with in the new city.Â
Heâs not too excited about the invitation, but doesnât see why he should turn the younger guy down when he has no plan during the weekend, and, as much as he loves staying inside, the four walls of his apartment is starting to feel a little suffocating because itâs almost been a month since that night he randomly went to Namsan and saw you, and⊠he hasnât gone out for anything thatâs not a necessity since then.
So when Mingyu asks for the third time since they got to know each other if he wants to join him on a night out or not, he decides he should also appreciate the guyâs persistence despite already being turned down twice before.
Anyway.
He was supposed to meet him for a little get together. Apparently, Mingyuâs version of âa little get togetherâ is to invite a group of friends that Wonwoo obviously doesnât know for dinner and only notifying him of the additional party thirty minutes before their promised time.
He exhales. Itâs too late for him to bail. Right now, his hope is only as high as the ground: he simply wishes he wouldnât return home socially exhausted.
Itâs a small pizza diner inside an alleyway where they promised to meet. And Mingyu along with his friends thankfully arrive at the same time as him so Wonwoo wouldnât need to go inside and look around like a fool, wondering where his table full of strangers and a slightly familiar friend is.
Heâs not close enough with Mingyu to say heâs comfortable around him, but heâs still the most familiar face between the four faces in front of him so he decides sitting next to Mingyu is the best choice. Thankfully, the younger guy doesnât seem to be the type to push him to interact with new people immediately.
Thirty minutes into dinner, Wonwoo can tell Mingyu probably brings these friends around because he thinks Wonwoo needs to meet new people (or maybe he thinks itâll be awkward if itâs just the two of them?). Itâs easy to tell that heâs brought the friendliest people whoâs just loud enough, who understand that Wonwooâs quiet but still able to naturally included him in conversations without making him feel bad about being, well, quiet (god knows how many people have tried to make him feel bad for staying quiet during conversations).
Jungkook is a friend from high school, heâs learned, apparently one of Mingyuâs closest friends. Jeonghan is a senior from his previous company; someone that he didnât know heâd end up being close with because, at first, Jeonghan was obviously just someone he had to work together with. Jisoo, he finds out later on, is Jungkookâs ex-girlfriend before he found his soulmate, though they treasure their friendship too much to cut each other off.
Except for Jungkook, the other two friends seem a little unconventional and Wonwoo doesnât understand how Mingyu ends up being close enough with them to go out together like this.
He doesnât ask.
âWeâre planning on bar hopping.â Mingyu tells him, and Wonwoo feels dread fill his chest at what this might imply until Mingyu adds, âYouâre free to leave if you donât want to go with us though! I understand it might not be everyoneâs thing.â
Weirdly, Wonwoo now wants to go because heâs been given the freedom of choice. Plus, at least he knows heâd be surrounded by these people and he can go home at any time if he wants to.
âWhat kind of bar?â
âDefinitely not clubs pretending to be a bar.â Mingyu jokes. âMaybe wine or cocktail bars?â
âSure, Iâll come then.â Wonwoo shrugs, then tells Mingyu heâll probably return home first if he and his friends are planning to go until morning, to which Mingyu nods and says that itâs no problem at all.
Wonwoo doesnât really understand the concept of bar hopping. Heâs always been curious about it, but never curious enough to actually do it. So he supposes itâs also his curiosity that pushes him to say yes. He kind of wants to see what itâs all about and he doesnât think heâd have another opportunity where he might remotely enjoy the experience if not now.
The first cocktail bar isnât that great, if only because the place is small and it feels like everyone can hear what theyâre talking about. They each have one drink and immediately leave for the next one. They go to a wine bar, and Wonwoo is pleased to know the alcohol in his system (and the current company, heâs sure) has made him more relaxed than he had been the past week.Â
After an hour or so, Mingyu decides heâs had too much energy and asks if itâs okay to move to an open bar thatâs not as noisy as a club but is still noisy enough for people to enjoy the music and fill the dancing floor.
Normally, Wonwoo would say no. But he surprisingly still has enough social battery and thinks might as well go all out while heâs at it. Itâs not often that heâs in a social mood.
The bar is a little too noisy for Wonwooâs liking, though the half part of the building has no roof so itâs not too loud nor suffocating. After ordering their drinks, Mingyu and Jungkook head to the dance floor. Jisoo and Jeonghan stay at the table with him; Jisoo says sheâs not really in the mood to dance while Jeonghan says his soulmate is picking him up in a bit so heâs just going to stick around til then.
Itâs thirty minutes later that he leaves and Wonwooâs now left alone with Jisoo. Itâs not uncomfortable, but it is a little awkward and Jisoo seems to share the sentiment as she tries to find topics to talk about.
They end up talking about literature and movies, and Wonwoo has to lean forward to be able to listen to her clearly over the music until she eventually moves to sit next to him so they can talk easier. He notices Jungkook glancing every now and then, and when Jisoo follows his gaze, she chuckles a little and shakes her head.
âSorry. Itâs just a habit of his, donât mind him.â
Wonwoo blinks, unsure. âWhy are you apologizing?â
âI know a lot of people find his stares uncomfortable.â She shrugs. âHeâs just protective of me. Itâs nothing, I promise.â
Wonwooâs not nosy. But between the alcohol in his system, his remote curiosity, and the way Jisoo looks like she wants to talk about it, he kindly throws the bait.
A subtle one, though.
âHow did you end up being close with Mingyu?â
âThrough Kook, at first.â Mingyu and Jeonghan donât refer to Jungkook with that name, he notes. And a part of him wonders if itâs a nickname that Jisoo has for him or if itâs just how his girl friends call him. âWe dated before. But we broke up because, well, he found his soulmate and⊠Mingyu was kind enough to keep me company and made sure I was okay after the whole ordeal. Iâm not sure why he felt the need to do that, but Iâm thankful regardless. So⊠yeah.â
He bites the question about soulmates. Doesnât ask why they tried dating each other if they knew they arenât soulmates, but he does wonder about how she mustâve felt or how sheâs feeling right now. He canât exactly compare his situation with hers, because as much as heâs going through a⊠heartbreak, itâs somewhat onesided while Jisoo actually had a relationship with Jungkook.
And she still has to be friends with him.
He doesnât know if itâs the universe or Jungkook that is cruel.
Or perhaps Jisoo is a masochist.
Apparently, sheâs also very honest when sheâs tipsy.
âIâm an outlier.â She smiles bitterly after downing a shot, then she pulls up the sleeve of her cardigan and shows him what he assumes to be a trace of a soulmate mark; a faint outline of a snowflake thatâs barely visible unless you actually take a look at her wrist. âI havâhad a soulmate. They died before I even met them and thatâs why the mark⊠burned.â
Her chuckle is nowhere near amused when Wonwooâs eyes widen in surprise, and she answers before he even asks as she pulls down the sleeve of her cardigan.
âIt literally burned. I was sixteen; and I was out with Jungkook getting ice cream when it started to burn and he had to witness me being all hysterical, crying as I told him my wrist burnt and it felt like itâs going to fall off.â She doesnât look bitter at all as she talks about this, just very sad and perhaps even a tad bit nostalgic. âHe was fourteen. A little shorter than I was at that point, but he tried his best to tug me to a secluded place so people wouldnât stare despite my struggle because everything hurt and I just felt like crying, hugged me to muffle my scream, and stayed with me for hours after that even though I was just zoning out, not saying anything.â
Wonwoo isnât sure if itâs a story for him to hear; but Jisoo looks like she needs it (or is it just the alcohol?) and the least he could do is to listen. At least he can rest easy knowing this story wouldnât be going anywhere else.
âI knew what happened even though I didnât know by theory. I could feel it; felt the connection that was only faintly there just⊠gone. Jungkook took me home and told my parents about what happened. Of course they knew what it meant and they thanked him before sending him home. I couldnât really talk for weeks, the emptiness and the burn were too prominent for me to be doing anything. My parents told the school I was sick so I was dismissed from classes.â
She pauses, and for the first time, Wonwoo can tell exactly what sheâs feeling: sheâs numb and sheâs exhausted. Thereâs no trace of tears in her eyes. Theyâre void of anything and Wonwoo suddenly feels an odd sense of affinity the more he listens to her.
âJungkook⊠stopped by everyday even though he didnât know what actually happened. He probably had an idea, but he didnât press and he talked to me about anything and everything even if I didnât say anythingâsaid from the beginning that I didnât need to answer, that heâd do all the talking for me.â
Wonwoo doesnât need to listen to the rest of the story to know why Jisoo still treasures Jungkook asâŠ, well, whatever she regards him as right now. He doesnât want her to talk about more sad things like how she ended up dating him and how she broke up with him, so he offers her what he could: honesty and a change of topic.
Even if itâs only a little.
âIâm an outlier also.â He says quietly that Jisoo almost misses it. âDoesnât have a soulmate but⊠itâs complicated.â
Thankfully, Jisoo doesnât pry, simply takes another shot and offers a cheer to him.
âSucks to be us.âÂ
Itâs weird, but Wonwoo finds himself chuckling before he takes his own drink and clinks his glass to hers and takes a sip of his highball.
âSucks to be us.â
His mind wanders to you, thinking if he could stand being in Jisooâs place had it been like that for him. He had only seen you with your soulmate from afar, had only talked to you once, and it hurts anyway.
Why is he cursed with the memories of his previous life, again?
Heâs been mentally restless since that night. How could he not when he keeps on seeing you everywhere? His dreams are getting more and more prominent and so are his feelings. He keeps on thinking he sees you somewhereâeverywhereâonly to realize itâs not you, just ghosts of you haunting him in every person that he sees.
How fucking stupid, falling in love with a series of images and illusions.
Drinking the rest of his drink, he shakes his head and winces at the alcohol and at how his mind is playing tricks once again. Perhaps drinking alcohol hasnât been the best option if he ends up imagining you even here between the blurry images of people.
Fuck, heâs down bad.
In such perfect timing, Mingyu and Jungkook return to the table, so Wonwoo leaves Jisoo with them and excuses himself to the restroom. He looks at himself in the mirror, and then looks at his phone only to realize itâs already almost one in the morning. Perhaps itâs time he goes home; the talk heâs shared with Jisoo proves to be more mentally exhausting than he thinks it is.
He almost bumps into someone on his way out, hands reaching out to the person in front of him in reflex only to let go just as quick once he sees your face once again. Christ, is he that drunk? He really needs to go home.
That version of you is very pretty too, fuck.
âUh⊠Wonwoo?â Heâs even imagining your voice now? âAre you⊠okay?â
He looks up in alarm once he realizes youâre real. Itâs actually you in front of him and youâre not a figment of his imagination. He opens his mouth to say something, but someone bumps into you hard and you tumble into his chest.
Wonwooâs breath is caught in his throat at the turn of events, but his arm catches you anyway and glares at the guy before he looks down and asks if youâre okay. You look as flustered as heâs feeling, and he hopes the loud music is enough to cover the sound of his heartbeat.
âYouâre okay?â Itâs stupid how disappointment fills his chest the moment you step away, a sense of longing already making its way to his heart.
He needs to get away.
âIâyeah.â You look unsure and Wonwoo doesnât like how your body screams uneasiness.
âAre you by yourself?â
âNo?â Now you sound unsure, and even though Wonwoo is also another stranger in the sea of strangers, he thinks he trusts himself better than any other people here to help you if you donât want to be here. âWell, I was with my friend but she⊠yeah.â
Youâre biting your lip, as if afraid heâd scold you (Why would he? Heâs not your boyfriend (Wait. No. Back pedal, back pedal)). Fuck, fuck, fuck. He swallows hard to calm himself down; this is not the time to imagine what itâd be like to be your boyfriend.
âCome on.â He says as calmly as possible, his fingers balled into a fist to stop himself from taking your hand in his. He considers bringing you to his table, but he doesnât know how he should introduce you to his party so he quickly texts Mingyu heâs going home because something turns up before he leads you out of the club.
Itâs silence filling you two despite the somewhat noisy alley youâre walking through, and you donât know Wonwoo enough to be able to tell if heâs pissed or what; but he does seem tense and youâre the one uncomfortable with the unnerving silence.
âIâmâIâm sorry.â You try to open a conversation. Wonwoo stops in his tracks and turns to you in confusion. âYou were probably there to have fun or something⊠Sorry I made you get me out of there.â
He shakes his head, and your heart relaxes when he smiles a little. âItâs fine. About time I go back anyway. Do you mind if we stop by a convenience store for a bit?â
Itâs then that you realize youâve been blindly following him. You donât even know the guy. Youâve met him twice before, and your second meeting barely even lasts five minutes, yet you readily follow him because you know youâll be more comfortable with him than thereâmore safe, more⊠secure.
Fuck, you didnât even ask him where heâs taking you earlier. It was almost automatic the way you followed his steps. You try to convince yourself that itâs his familiarity that makes you feel safe. Because even if you donât know him that well, his face is still one imprinted in your head so itâs normal that youâd feel safer than you would with any other person in that club.
Plus, youâve talked to him once before and he at least passed the vibe check, right?
But as you pile these thoughts in your head, trying to justify the uncalled feeling of security this stranger brings you, deep down you know why exactly your anxiety seeps away at the sight of him earlier, why your shoulders drop down in relief, and why your chest is no longer filled with dread.Â
âHere, have this.â
Thatâs why. You think to yourself.
Wonwoo isnât smiling at you, but thereâs a kind of warmth that he radiates as he hands you a drink and ushers you to sit on the table in front of the convenience store. Thereâs a certain warmth that reaches you as he sits in front of you and places a hot bun on the table, pushes it towards you without saying anything.
You watch him slot his hands into the pocket of his jackets, and you suddenly wonder if he gets cold easily. Itâs not that cold outside, though you suppose it is one in the morning and the wind picks up a little at times like this.
âThanks.â You mumble as you wrap your fingers around the small bottle of warm honey water. You canât help but smile at the drink of his choice, a little funny how he didnât get you a hot chocolate or tea; something most people would usually get. âCan I ask why honey?â
He blinks, as if not getting what youâre talking about until you hold up the glass bottle for him to see.
Wonwoo panics a little. He has bought the drink without thinking, a part of his mind that stores the information about you from his dream making him do so. In fact, it was only yesterday that he dreamt of you drinking one.
The dream is still vivid in his mind. He dreamt of you sleeping, and he assumed he was trying to sleep himself when you jolted awake out of nowhere, eyes frantic and hands flailing around looking for him. He saw himself whispering words of comfort to you, and he saw you burying yourself into him like thereâs any space between the two of you before he pulled away and said heâd get you some drink from the kitchen.
You had smiled weakly at the sight of your favorite drink, a warm honey water that always comforted you at nights like this.
âDo you not like it? I can get you something else if you want?â
âNo, itâs fine.â You smile, something inside you blooming dangerously at his words and what you may or may not be implying with yours. âJust⊠I usually drink those too. Some of my friends judge me for that.â
Heâs more surprised about the fact that you share this with your past self more than anything, but, still, he asks. âHuh? Why?â
âJust because itâs unusual, I suppose.â Shrugging, you proceed to open the lid and take a sip. âNot a lot of people drink this, you know? Or, at least, they drink it cold. I prefer it warm.â
He wonders if you share anything else with your past self. So far, thereâs been two: Autumn and this drink. Would you be suspicious if he threw it out there? Would you freak out?
âSomeone I know eats watermelon only if itâs frozen; Iâm sure it's just a preference on your part.â
You smile shyly as you answer him, an image thatâs forever burned into his mind. âI do that also.â
His mind runs a thousand hundred scenarios of what this could mean, wonders if itâs simply a coincidence or if the universe is on to something.
âArenât you special,â he smiles tightly, hoping that you donât catch upon his awkwardness.
âThank you for putting it that way.â The sound of your laughter makes him want to be selfish; to drag out conversations and spend as much time as possible with you even though he knows you have a soulmate. Is it considered cheating like this? Is he immoral for wanting this? âMy friends also judge me because I donât like cheese cake, cheese sauce and anything cheese flavored even though I donât mind an actual cheese.â
âYou⊠donât like cheese cake?â Wonwoo blinked, unsure if he heard right. He wasnât a cheese lover or anything, but he didnât think heâd ever seen anyone who grimaced at the word âcheese cakeâ.
âTheyâre too⊠cheesy.â
âAutumn, itâs called cheese cake for a reason.â
âAnd the texture⊠yuck.â You grimaced before telling him to stop talking about it before you lose your appetite.
âAre you judging me too?â Your voice snaps him out of his gaze, and he blinks a few times before he shakes his head no. This canât be good, fuck. Itâs been less than 10 minutes since heâs been talking to you, and yet his heartbeat is out of control and the fact that you share a lot of things with the illusion of yourself that heâs developed an attachment for isnât good at all.Â
He tries his best to remind himself that his feeling isnât real; that perhaps heâs too blinded by something that heâs been holding on to and he doesnât know what to do now that itâs somewhat changing. That heâs confused and he shouldnât do anything that would cause him further confusion.
But with you in front of him, as real as you can be, smiling and launching into a bunch of topics that is actually dear to his heart, he canât help but indulge his feelings and bask in your presence, in your smile and your voice, in the sound of your laughter and the way you lean forward so you can speak to him better, a habit that he notices the you in his dream also had.
So he lets go.
Whatever consequence that awaits him, heâll face it when it comes. Right now, he just wants to pretend like you donât have a soulmate whoâs probably waiting for you back homeâwho may be worried sick because you havenât looked at your phone even once since the moment he sits down in front of you.Â
Wonwoo isnât usually selfish and he hopes that the universe will let him go this one time for wanting to beâfor wanting to keep you to himself even for a limited time. Even if you arenât aware of it.
This chance might not come again, he tells himself. The chance of talking to you under the stars in front of a random convenience store at ungodly hours, like youâre just two people talking to each otherâlike soulmates isnât a thing and heâs free to feel whatever it is heâs feeling.
He wants this, he realizes as his eyes flicker down to your lips for a few seconds, subtle enough for you to miss. He wants a real memory of you. Something real that he can keep to his heart, something that isnât a part of his dream and a fragment of his memories. And even though heâd go home feeling empty and heâd curse himself tomorrow, it doesnât matter because what matters now is that youâre here with him and heâs going to take as much as youâre willing to give him.
âIâve finished reading the book, by the way.â You open another topic. A controversial one, if you may say so yourself, and you know deep down what youâre trying to do by saying this even though youâll deny it if anyone asks.
âOh yeah? How do you find it?â
âI think I agree with most of what he said.â You bite your lip, your mind wandering to Joshua for the first time since you saw Wonwoo. âI just⊠I donât know. Iâm not anti soulmate, I just donât see why you should succumb to your⊠instincts? Feelings? And simply accept your soulmate without thinking too much about it.â
Wonwoo doesnât say anything for a moment and you wonder if he disagrees with you or if heâs simply gathering his thoughts. He seems thoughtful, perhaps trying to find words that wonât offend you before he offers you his opinion.
âCan I ask why you started thinking that way?â he asks instead, and itâs your turn to be silent and arrange your words.
Because you donât know.Â
You canât tell since when do you feel this strongly about the soulmate situation. You used to be quite indifferent about it, not having any opinion whatsoever though you sure werenât as excited as the other kids your age when it came to romanticizing anything about soulmates.
Your friends would talk about their dream scenarios of the first meeting with their soulmates, or they would go on and on about looking forward to meeting them.
But you were never that excited.
It was just another thing in your life: like eating ice cream or trying out a new cafe. Thereâs nothing so special about it.
âI thinkâŠâ You contemplate, wondering if you want to be that honest with this beautiful, familiar stranger in front of you. âIt was when I met my soulmate?â
Wonwoo seems surprised, probably not sure how to interpret your words and you donât blame him at all.
âSorry?â
âYou know how people say that there are⊠fireworks? And butterflies? Just those big, grandiose feelings blooming inside your chest at once when you meet your soulmate?â He nods, trying to see where youâre going with this. âWell, I⊠didnât feel those when I met mine. Sure, it all made sense and it just kinda⊠clicked in my head. Like a moment of eureka, if you will. But I wasnât⊠excited or anything of the sort. If anything, my heartbeat picked up because I was anxious, already worried about what he might expect of me and all that.â
You refuse to look at Wonwoo. Youâre not sure what kind of answer that you expect from him, but he doesnât seem like heâd judge and, between the ungodly hour and the little alcohol thatâs left in your system, it feels relieving to finally be able to say this out loud.Â
Youâve never been able to. Not only because people would call you crazy, but because you know no one wouldnât not judge you for it.
But here in front of Wonwoo⊠Jeon Wonwoo who youâve only met for the third time in your life, you feel safe for reasons that you canât comprehend.Â
So you continue. Youâll blame it on the alcohol tomorrow morning, even though you know youâre not intoxicated enough for it to be the case. Youâll justify yourself by saying Wonwoo isnât a friend and he knows no one in your lifeâthat if this goes south, you technically wouldnât lose anything.
Yeah.
Thatâs how youâll go down this road.
âI mean⊠I love him, you know?â You wouldâve seen Wonwooâs face drop had you not been busy staring at your nails, still too afraid to look at him despite the resolve youâve made. âBut not⊠that way.â
âLike⊠platonic?â Wonwoo offers, careful.
âYeahâŠâ You bite your lip, trying to stop the tears that suddenly blur your eyes. âLike platonic.â
You hate yourself for the way your heart lightens at your own words. Because even though itâs something that youâve thought of once before, you bury it so deep somewhere you canât reach. You never say it out loud to anyone; never admit it to yourself even though you know itâs true.
And to say it like this to another personâout in the open⊠You hate yourself so fucking much because itâs true and youâre somehow going to hurt Joshua even if you donât mean to.
Wonwoo panics at the sight of your tears, at the way your lips tremble and the way heâs sure your nails are digging into your palms. He doesnât know what to do, unsure about what he can do because youâreâŠ, he winces as he thinks to himself, not even a friend.
What is the appropriate distance he needs to keep? Is he even allowed to comfort you? He canât even be relieved at your revelation because youâre obviously not fine and thereâs something churning at the pit of his guts the longer he sees you try to stop yourself from crying.Â
Itâs when a sob eventually escapes your lips that he stops thinking. Because how can he stand still when youâre there crying like youâre admitting a crime worthy of a death sentence? When you canât even lift your head because youâre trying so damn hard to hide your face and your tears?
He hears you gasp when he wraps his arms around you, something that he wishes youâre okay with, and if thereâs anything Wonwoo would describe as magical, itâs the way you perfectly fit against him as you press yourself closer for comfort, your forehead on his neck and your tears warm against his skin. Heâs sure heâs just making things up, but it feels like thereâs a soft wind going through his whole body, leaving trails of goosebumps on his arms.
Itâs probably not the most appropriate moment for him to be feeling that way, but he doesnât have time to be guilty because it seems like you somewhat share the sentimentâpulling away like youâre electrocuted before you look at him wide-eyed and gaping.
âWonââ
âIâm an outlier.â He cuts you off, riding the rush heâs feeling across his body and letting his honest words get out before he can think too much. He doesnât know why but he feels like he should tell you and he should do it right now. âI donât have a soulmate andââ
âKiss me?â Thereâs urgency and a slight tremble in your voice as you ask this, fingers grasping the material of his shirt tightly like itâs your lifeline.Â
âBut your soulââ
âWonwoo, please?â
Itâs hard to tell who moves first, or perhaps you two move at the same time, but the moment his lips meet yours, Wonwoo would like to retract his statement earlier about your embrace being magical because itâs nothing compared to this.
Itâs absolutely nothing compared to the thousand fireworks exploding in his chest at different intervalsânever stopping and electrifying in the most pleasant way possible. He doesnât know itâs possible for humans to feel this way. Is this what people with a soulmate feels like when they meet their soulmate? Isnât this what you said earlier: fireworks and butterflies?
Itâs not even butterflies in his stomach. Heâs pretty sure thereâs an earthquake down there. But, the most important of them all, it feels right and it makes sense even though it shouldnât be.Â
The longer his lips move against yours, your fingers grasping the front of his shirt to pull him closer while his fingers thread through your hair to pull you closer, the more it feels like⊠fuck, he hates to say it but, it feels like itâs meant to be.
Itâs only because you both need to take a breath that you pull away, and Wonwoo doesnât think itâs possible for his heart to run even faster than it already is, but it is because, Christ, the way you look like youâre in a trance and your slightly swollen lips are doing things to his heart that he has never experienced before.
Itâs a mystery how long you spend looking at each other like that in silence, wrapped against each other without saying anything. He wants so badly to just kiss you senseless once again, but the gears in his head are starting to turn and he knows the right thing to do is to talk.
You have a soulmate. But you asked him to kiss you and he did. And it was magical and all the good things heâs heard before, but itâs not supposed to be⊠right?
âWhat was that?â You whisper, more to yourself than to him. âI⊠I donât understand?â
He whispers your name softly, trying to pull away only for you to pull him closer again, your eyes full of distress and your body tense, a complete 180 from how you were just seconds ago.
âWâwhy?â You look at him like he has an answer. But he doesnât, because heâs not even sure what youâre asking about and heâs still trying to find words to say. âThis⊠this is what they say aboutâabout fireworks and⊠and butterflies but⊠youâre not my soulmate? What does this mean?â
Wonwoo tries once again, this time reaching out to caress your hair to calm you down. It helps, because your shoulders visibly relax and he reminds you to breathe. You refuse to let go of him though, and his heart squeezes painfully at how shaken up you seem to be.
âHey, IâmâIâm not going anywhere, okay?â He tells you softly, trying to appear calm even despite what heâs feeling inside. But he canât show it. Not when you look so lost and your feelings are presumably all over the place. âIâll just⊠get some stuff inside. Iâll be back in a minute, I promise.â
True to his words, Wonwoo comes back not even a minute late with a pack of tissues and two water bottles. He opts to sit right beside you as he hands you the tissue and opens the water for you.
âHere, drink this.â
âThanks.â You murmur quietly, embarrassed now that youâve (somewhat) come to your senses. Thereâs a thousand questions running through your head, some of them hateful, loathing yourself for asking another guy to kiss you when you have a soulmate whoâs probably worried sick at home because you havenât texted him at all since you left the club.
But you have more pressing matters at handâlike why did Wonwoo actually kiss you, and why did it feel like how people around you have been describing what it feels like to be with your soulmate? And⊠Did he say heâs an outlier?
âFeeling better?â His voice is meek, like heâs not sure if itâs okay to talk to you. But youâre too all over the place to think about politeness and whatnot. Itâs a trainwreck inside your head. Your head isnât dizzy because youâre overthinking; itâs dizzy because youâre thinking of too many things at onceâitâs thought after thought after thought after thought. Theyâre colliding and everythingâs a mess.
âYou felt that too right?â is the first thing that you manage to say and itâs only after you say it that you realize how horrifying it would be if Wonwoo says no.
He nods, albeit hesitantly, but you donât really mind because youâll take anything right now. âItâs⊠what was that? Why⊠Why do I feel it with you but not Joshua?â
Joshua is your soulmate, Wonwoo registers in his mind, and he looks at you helplessly, his heart dropping a little at the mention of his name. Should he tell you? About the dreams and the memories? He thinks the dreams and the memories are simply, well, dreams and memories after he met you and Joshua all those nights ago.
Perhaps he really is just an outlier, a special one at that, but thatâs about it. He has trampled any hope of making something out of his dreams when itâs clear that you belong to someone else in this lifetime. The universe that gifts him the memory of his past life with you, one that arranges another meeting in this lifetime with you, is the same fucking universe that decides you have a soulmate and itâs not him.
What the fuck was he supposed to do?
But with how heâand you, apparentlyâfeel earlier, he doesnât think itâs a meaningless coincidence.
He mightâve considered it as one if it was only him feeling it. That he mightâve been desperate and any contact that he was to have with you would simply be magical because itâs nothing but an illusion on his part.
But you?
Youâve just said you feel it too, whatever it might be. And he feels a glimpse of hope even though the whole situation is completely fucked up and thereâs no way to get around it without hurting anyone.
How would you feel if you knew?
Would you freak out?
Would you hate him for hiding it?
Would you think he was planning something against you?
Would you laugh at his face and call him crazy?
âYou know something.â Your voice brings him back to reality, your eyes searching his face. You donât sound accusing, you sound downright confused and, dare he says, a tad bit hopeful. âThereâs something youâre not telling me⊠right?â
Wonwoo takes a deep breath and braces himself for whatever he might need to face afterwards. He owes you that much, he thinks to himself. To a certain extent, his memory is your memory, and if youâre as distraught as you seem to be, he hopes this would help you somehow.
âI remember my past life.â He says as calmly as he can, carefully hiding his fear somewhere behind. âThey come to my dreams. I thought it was just dreams at first, but theyâre⊠memories and theyâve been getting longer since I met you. Clearer, too.â
Itâs hard to say why youâre not freaked out, why you simply believe him like itâs not the craziest thing youâve heard in your life. But if the universe can decide two people are destined for each other and grant marks to people to seek their other half, why should this be regarded as impossible?
âDid you⊠know me in your past life?â
Wonwoo smiles bitterly, and it takes everything in you not to reach out to cup his cheekâtell him that he can be honest and youâre going to listen to him no matter what.
âDo you really want me to answer that?â
âAs honest as you can be.â
âI might sound crazy.â He whispers, basking in your touch. âThis⊠might affect you in a bad way.â
âCrazier than you remembering your past life?â You smile a little as you say this, which he returns. He appreciates your attempt to lighten up the atmosphere, and he reaches up to take the hand that was cupping his cheek, his fingers tighten around yours before he braces himself once again.
âYou were my soulmate.â He rips the bandaid in one go, afraid that he wouldnât be able to say it otherwise.
Itâs hard to describe what youâre feeling: your breath is caught in your throat, the revelation means more than you thought it would. But itâs not shock thatâs filling you up. No. Itâs recognition, acceptance, and tears because things finally make sense.
âI promised you that Iâd find you again in our next life andââ
It finally fucking makes sense why you always feel like thereâs something missing in your life, why Joshuaâs arrival doesnât fill it up even though you secretly thought it would; why you feel that pull with Wonwoo since that first time you met him.
You remember that day still. You were just taking a walk, there was no plan whatsoever to sit around and spend time out in the open when itâs so hot outside. But you had seen him by himself, and it felt like time stopped for a few moments and you were enchanted. You felt compelled to look at himâto approach him and ask if itâs okay to take the empty seat on his table.
It wasnât magical, your first meeting, but something about Wonwoo had pulled you in and you didnât even try to question it.Â
The shock you felt when he called you âAutumnâ never really died down. And while you tried to convince yourself that itâs simply because it had been a long time since someone referred to you with that name and it was a nickname that is so dear to you, you could feel deep down that there was something else.
And then there was that dream.
Wait.
Right, that dream.Â
Is that dream�
âGinkgo leaf?â You whisper out of nowhere, trying to recall what you saw all those nights ago. âWas that your mark? In your previous life⊠was that your mark?â
Itâs his turn to look at you in shock, the way heâs gaping at you wide-eyed giving you the answer you were looking for.
âHâhow?â
âI had a dream, once.â Youâve never felt this vulnerable in your life, but how can you not be when it feels like youâve just found the reason youâve been seeking for your whole life? âIt was⊠that night we met⊠at Namsan. It was your birthday and we were celebrating with a cake andââ
âHey, breathe?â Wonwoo cuts you off, and you squeeze his fingers in return, only then realizing that youâve been holding hands the whole time. âTake your time, okay?â
âAnd I saw the ginkgo leaf on your wristâŠâ You finish, trying your best not to glance at his wrist even though you know itâs not there. âI didnât get to see mine though, and thatâs why I didnât assume you were my soulmate.â
âI seeâŠâ
You hate how defeated he sounds. And for all the time youâve been doubting the universe, questioning its means and cursing its ways, you donât know what to do right now.
Should you be cursing it some more for putting Wonwoo in that position? For making you feel the way you feel only to find out the reason why is because your heart is apparently caught in the past? What does this make Joshua? What does this make your entire relationship with him?
You ask about his dreams, and even though Wonwoo is hesitant at first, he gets more comfortable the more he relays them. And you feel like crying because, apparently, all of them are about you. Thereâs not one single dream that doesnât have you in it, and it feels like a punch to your guts to know that he has to live his life with this replaying in his mind, that he canât even talk about it to anyone because he doesnât want to risk it, that heâs been keeping something this big for his whole life because he doesnât really have any other choice.
You grief about the memories you donât have. About what couldâve been and about the pain Wonwoo has to go through by himself because the universe has arranged you to be with someone else when heâs been seeing pictures of you with him in his dreams.
âWhat⊠what do you think we should do?â You throw the question out there, hope that someone has the answer. But Wonwoo stays silent, and he looks at you with eyes full of yearning that wrenches your soul. You know what heâs trying to say. Youâre the one who has a soulmate. Whatever that he might want with you, what he mightâve imagined throughout the entire time he has those memories, they all donât mean anything because youâre off limits.
âI donât⊠think thereâs anything that we can do.â
âButââ
âItâs okay.â He shakes his head with a sad smile. âI didnât⊠I wasnât expecting anything. I didnât even think Iâd be talking about this with you.â
âBut, still!â Youâre grasping his hand tightlyâas if heâll be gone if you let go even slightly. âThis⊠this has got to mean something!â
âYou have a soulmate.â He reminds you, his voice shaking. And tears blur your eyes once again at how resigned he sounds, but can you blame him? The universe has fucked him up in more ways than one, you wouldâve lost it a long time ago if you were him, but here he is, taking care of you still even though it might make things worse for him.
âDo you love me?â
Wonwoo exhales deeply, pressing his lips together to hide the fact that theyâre trembling because heâs so close to tears.
âI know my past self loved you more than life itself.â
âDo you love me?â
âLookâIâŠâ
âBecause thereâsâthereâs clearly something because my heart feels like itâs about to burst and I already want to be with you all the time.â You cry as you honestly bare yourself in front of him, as you tell him all the emotions that have been going through you since the kiss you share with each other minutes ago. âI donât⊠Iâve never felt like this before and Iâve always questioned whyâwonder what went wrong and if thereâs some kind of mistake. But I couldnât do anything because supposedly heâs my soulmate and Iâm supposed to accept that. Because itâs a given and itâs obvious and thereâs just no fucking reason for me to question it.â
Wonwoo lets his tears fall as you say all this, his hands warm against yours and he relishes at the way youâre holding on to them tightly, like you want to convince him that thereâs somethingâsome way to go around this.
âBut you just gave me a reason to question it now.â You sob, reminding him about the talk you had the first time you met each other.Â
If fate and destiny actually exist, who is there to say that what the universe has decided for you is your best path?
You must look absolutely hideous right now, with tears all over your face that wonât stop no matter how many times you wipe them. But you donât care, because you finally feel content with him beside you. Because even though itâs selfish and you would need to figure out the whole Joshua situation, youâre not going to let go of the person who finally makes you feel complete, who makes you realize the things your friends have been saying are all true: that it just makes sense, that itâs practically binding to the point where you even hate to think about having to separate with him after this night ends.
âYou told me I could always go against my destiny if thatâs what I choose to do. Why are you not letting me? Do you not feel it?â
âI do. I swear, I feel it too.â He wipes the last of his tears and calms himself down, makes you panic when he tries to let go of your hands only for his palm to rest warmly against the side of your face. âBut you have a soulmate and itâs not something that you can decide by yourself. It wouldnât be fair to him, donât you think?â
âHas the universe ever been fair to you?â You ask him, wondering how he can still have this much consideration for someone who he shouldâve harbored ill feelings for.
âIt leads me to you, doesnât it? In two different lifetimes too.â He smiles and caresses your cheek, wiping your tears also.Â
âPlease stop making me cry.â You whisper weakly, certain that your eyes will be red and puffy once youâve stopped crying.
Wonwoo chuckles at this, and the sound of his small laughter brings a smile out of you despite the tears.
âIâm not saying youâre not in your right mind. But perhaps⊠weâre too high on our emotions right now, donât you agree?â
You donât. You really donât. But you get what heâs saying so you nod and instead bask in the way his thumb is caressing the apple of your cheek.
âSo what do you suppose we should do?
âYou⊠might want to think this through and have a talk with⊠Joshua.â Itâs bizarre to hear Joshuaâs name from Wonwoo, but you know heâs right and if⊠if you want to try whatever it is youâre going to try with Wonwoo, you donât want to do it in hiding and you donât want to betray Joshuaâs trust and respect more than you probably already have at this point. He might hate you, he might not accept it, but you have to at least try and a part of you believes Joshua would understand somehow. âAnd then we can decide from then?â
âOkayâŠâ You close your eyes and lean forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder, feeling his arm pulling you closer and trying to memorize his scent and his warmth to calm the erratic beat of your heart. âOkay.â
Wonwoo takes you home, sitting a good distance from you in the taxi like you both werenât pressed against each other just minutes prior. But you know why heâs doing it, and you still appreciate him for going with you just to make sure youâll go back safely even if he doesnât have to.
For the first time that night, your mind wanders to Joshua. About how you should approach the subject with him and all the consequences you might need to face afterwards. Itâs not going to be pretty even if Joshua somehow understands: what would you say to your family? To his family?
But you canât let go of Wonwoo. Not now that youâve met him, that youâve found out what his existence means to you and youâve felt all the magic youâve been hearing from other people.
You wonder now if the reason why youâve questioned the whole soulmate system is because it doesnât apply to you personally. Because you didnât feel the pull and all that shouldâve come along with the first meeting.
Now that youâve felt it with Wonwoo⊠You glance at him, which Wonwoo catches almost right away. He smiles at you, though you can tell his eyes are full of worries, his mind probably elsewhere. You donât blame him though, what has transpired tonight is beyond the two of you; itâs only right for him to be out of it.
You suddenly feel like one of those stupid main characters in a romance movie, one who would throw everything away for a man they barely know. But your heart knows Wonwoo, yearns for him before you even know it. In a world where two people are destined to be together⊠you donât think itâs stupid of you to want to do this.
When the driver tells you that youâve arrived you hesitate before you get off, not wanting to leave Wonwoo. But he smiles in encouragement, tells you that you have his number and youâre free to text him after youâve figured things out.
He omits Joshua from his sentence, but you know thatâs what he means.
âHey.â He calls for you right when youâre about to close the door and reaches out to squeeze your hand once, letting go before you can return the gesture. âDonât rush it, okay? Take your time. Iâll be waiting. You know Iâm good at that.â
Wonwoo waits.
Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months.
Thereâs a reason why he gave you his number instead of asking for yours.
He wants you to be ready before deciding anything, wants you to make the decision that you think is best for you.
He knows heâd call you right away if he has your number, to make sure youâre okay and to see how youâre doing.
But thatâd be even more painful, he feels like. More painful than a thousand scenarios going through his mind because heâs by himself. At least like this, he knows itâs nothing but scenarios that he comes up with; nothing is real and itâs all in his head.
Like his dreams.
Like his memories.
He exhales as he looks at his phone once again, waiting for your message that isnât coming.
The third time Wonwoo meets you might be the last time he sees you, after all.
Three months later, October comes around, yellow leaves telling him that autumn has arrived. Not his Autumn, obviously, and he glares at the ginkgo tree he passes by that is still annoyingly green even though everything else has started to turn yellow.
The third week of October, you finally text Wonwoo, apologizing for the time you took and asking if itâs still okay to see each other even though itâs been months since then. He says yes, of course, and youâre currently sitting anxiously in the taxi on your way to his place.
You donât know how Wonwoo is going to take what youâre about to tell him and you donât think itâs wise to be having this conversation out in the open; hence why youâre thankful that he agrees when you ask if itâs okay to talk in the privacy of his walls.
âHi.â He opens the door, offering you a small smile that you return tightly. Itâs weird that you immediately feel at peace in his presence despite the anxiety that has been building up in your chest.Â
âHi.â You press your lips together, exhaling a deep breath before you apologize to him once again. âSorry it took me quite some time to text you. I didnât want to⊠rush, like you said.â
âItâs okay.â You know itâs not, you can tell by how tense it is and how forced his smile seems to be. Plus, it doesnât take a genius to know why he looks like he hasnât been getting decent sleep because you know you probably wouldâve looked the same if not for your makeup.
He ushers you to come in, tells you to sit down on the sofa and offers you a drink, in which you say youâre fine with just water.
Wonwoo returns with a cup of warm tea though, and he says that heâs put some honey in it, that you look tense and hopefully the drink helps.
âI figure youâve made up your mind?â
Truth be told, you canât even begin to imagine whatâs been going on inside Wonwooâs head. You offered yourself to him only to go missing for three months straight, not even a text that tells him that youâre okay and youâre not forgetting him.Â
But you didnât want to text him when things were uncertain, not with what happened right after you got homeâwith what went down between you and Joshua.
You couldnât.
Thatâs why youâve only finally managed to text him a few days ago. With things being in the clear, you can finally talk to him and decide whatâs going to happen moving forward.
âGive me a chance to explain?â You look at him hopefully.
âI wouldnât tell you to come if I wasnât going to listen to you.â His smile lifts parts of your tension, and you take a deep breath before you begin, already having imagined this conversation a hundred times in your head.Â
âJoshua was there when I came home that night.â You bite your lip, already feeling like crying as you recall that scene in your head. âHe was on the floor, passed out. He wouldnât wake up no matter how much I shook him, and I realized he was clutching his neckâright where our soulmate marks are. It was hot, like it was burning before, and I called the hospital right away andââ
âWaitâburning?âÂ
âYes and⊠and the mark was fading and it was only hours later that I realized mine was fading also.â You swallow hard at this, a painful wave crashes against your heart as you recall his face when he came to, when he told them what happened and when they told him what actually happened.
âIt just⊠started burning out of nowhere.â
The doctor glanced at you, your eyes were puffy from crying even more than you already did before that, your fingers tight against Joshuaâs because you thought youâd lost him.
âDid you feel the burn also?â The doctor pulled you out after Joshua fell back asleep, a conclusion already knitting itself together in her mind. Thereâs no way youâd be fine enough to stand on your own feet if you had felt the burn, but still, she had to make sure before jumping into conclusions.
âNoâŠâ You sniffled. âI⊠was out with⊠a friend and he already passed out when I came back home.â
âNo pain, at all?â
You shook your head, mentally and physically exhausted after everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours.
âNo. IâHeâd be fine, right?â You asked in desperation. âWhat⊠what happened, exactly?â
âWe need to run some more tests. But⊠youâre sure you didnât feel anything at all?â
âNo, I didnât. I really didnât. Does that mean anything?â
âThey⊠they said itâs the universe⊠taking our marks from us.â You force a smile just right after the first tear falls, your feelings still all over the place even though almost three months have passed since then. âApparently, it had happened before. Though itâs been fifty years or so since they last heard of a case. They couldnât really tell why it happened because there werenât many cases to study and compare, but I felt like⊠I might have an idea why it happened so I met the doctor privately and told her about you.â
Wonwoo holds back the urge to reach for your hands that are balled into fists, to free your lower lip from your teeth because heâs sure youâd bleed if you bite down just a tad bit harder.Â
âShe said that thereâs a possibility that I was right. That⊠the universe is rearranging my soulmate because I met you. Itâs not unheard of, but itâs not something that youâd even find in books because itâs some sort of myth at this point.â
You look up to meet his eyes. His heart breaks at how sad you look, and the protective feeling from three months ago when he saw you crying at one in the morning returns at once. Heâs not sure if itâs okay to comfort you this time around though, because by the way youâre relaying the story, he canât tell at all where you stand exactly.
âI was debating with myself whether it would be better to tell him right away or wait until he got better. But Joshua⊠caught on easily that something bothered me and it just⊠came out. I didnât say your name, and I only told him what he might need to know: that I met someone and it just⊠made sense.
It wasnât easy. He was the one laying on the hospital bed but he was also the one comforting me. And I felt so bad and I kept on apologizing to him but he said itâs okay and he understood. That itâs not my fault because he knew I didnât have a say in how I felt.â
From the thousand scenarios Wonwoo has imagined in the three months you left him in silence, this is not one of them. He canât even begin to imagine how painful it mustâve been for Joshua, both physically and mentally. His mind takes him back to Jisoo, about what she said about the burn she felt and how it affected her after.
How could Joshua say that in his position?
For what itâs worth, Wonwoo is glad to know that you were meant to be with someone as caring as Joshua isâwho is so understanding that he would withstand that kind of pain and said it was fine. That he doesnât blame you for it.
But where does this leave the two of you now?
âHe asked me what I wanted to do now that weâre⊠no longer bonded by the marks. And I told him honestly that I donât want to lose him; that I still⊠love him even though itâs not how he expected me to. That I understand if he doesnât want me around because it canât be easy to look at someone who used to be your soulmate.â
Youâre sobbing at this point, and he hands you some tissues to wipe your tears, reminds you to breathe before you continue.
âCan you⊠can you hold me, please?â Your voice is small as you say this, as if youâre uncertain whether youâre allowed to ask that. Wonwoo is glad you did though, because he immediately comes closer and pulls you into his chest, offering you whatever comfort he might be able to give that way. âSorry, I justââ
âShh. Itâs fine.â Whatever the outcome of this conversation may be, this is the least he can do for you. And perhaps a little for himself also, because itâs painful to see you cry and not able to do anything at all. Because heâs been dreaming of hugging youâthe you in this lifetime, not the past oneâand heâs not going to pass any chance thatâs presented in front of him even if it might be wrong. He still doesnât know how your talk ended with Joshua, but if you asked him to hold you⊠that should mean something, right? âTake your time. Iâm not going anywhere.â
âPromise?â You sniffle, pulling away to look at him.
âIt is my place, so.â He tries to joke to help you relax, and it works because you weakly hit his chest before you exhale another deep breath and continue after Wonwoo makes you take a sip of your tea.
âHe⊠Heâd like to keep me around too.â You say quietly, your tears now replaced with hiccups. âBut not now. Because it still hurts and⊠and he says heâd contact me once heâs ready.â
âAnd how do you feel about that?â
You shrug, burying yourself further into his neck. Is it bad that it feels so right to do this already? Is it bad that youâre doing this when youâre still trying to move on from your guilt?
âI honestly have no idea⊠But⊠Well, he says he wants me to be happy with you and that he doesnât want me to not give youâusâa chance because I feel guilty towards him. That⊠whatâs done is done and heâll eventually be okay.â
âHeâs very kind, isnât he?â He comments instead, unsure how to feel after everything youâve said. A big part of him is relieved, but itâs still hard to be completely happy when he knew it cost someone the kind of pain that would last a lifetime.Â
âThe kindest.â You smile for the first time, agreeing with him. âI think thatâs also why Iâve always had this guilt within me, you know? Even before I met you. Because I just know I canât return his feelings but he was supposed to be my soulmate.â
âI understand.â He whispers against your head, leaning his cheek there. âIs that also why it took you three months to text me?â
âPartly⊠yeah. I ended up taking care of him until he got discharged, and we decided to just⊠talk to our parents separately about what happened and what⊠might happen moving forward. And then I spent some time arranging my thoughts and cleaning up his stuff from my apartment. I havenât given them back to him, but theyâre all in a box in my place. So⊠yeah. Sorry for not texting you at all.â
He hums and holds you tighter, feels the way your arms are also hugging him in apology. He doesnât press about your parents, he supposes you wouldâve talked about it if you want to. But youâve just relayed a very emotionally loaded story which must be very exhausting in itself.
âI did tell you to take your time.â He says, a smile blooming into his face at what he says next. âThank you for coming back to me.â
âThank you for letting me come back to you.â You say instead, pulling away from him to meet his eyes. Your eyes must be puffy from all the crying, gosh, you seem to be crying all the time when youâve only seen this guy four times in total. You wonder if you were this much of an emotional wreck too in your past life, but you decide against asking about it because it does not matter now.
Your past lives might be the one that eventually leads you to each other; but Wonwoo has probably had enough stories regarding the past life and you donât see why you should talk about it when you have the future in front of you.
âTheyâve stopped, you know?â Wonwoo suddenly says.
âWhat have?â
âThe dreams.â He presses his lips together and looks at you for comfort, which you readily give as you squeeze his shoulder. âThey donât appear anymore. Like, completely stopped. I do dream of you, but not⊠you from the past life. Just you.â
âHow do you know itâs not me from the past?â
He takes your hand before he answers, gently lifts it up to point at your empty wrist and smiles.
âBecause thereâs no mark on your wrist.â
âAh⊠right.â You lean forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder, and you spend a moment like that: your body pressed against each other and the ghost of his lips on top of your head.
Itâs then that you whisper, a little afraid but also hopefulâperhaps even excited at what the future might have in store for you two.
âAre we really doing this?â
âA little too late to not do this, I think.â He jokes, which earns him another hit on the chest and a glare that doesnât affect him at all. He cups your cheek and looks into your eyes, making you shy from the sudden attention. âIf you want it then I want it. Easy as that.â
You press your lips together and bask in his stare, get lost in his eyes as you finally try to let go of the guilt holding you down and focus more on the certainty that you felt that night you tried to convince Wonwoo to do something about your situation.
âIâll be okay.â Joshua reassured you for the nth time as you dropped him off his place, your second home that you probably wouldnât be able to visit until an indefinite time. âDonât worry too much about me, okay? You know how I am.â
âIâm reallyââ
âI donât want you to apologize again.â He cuts you off, his voice stern. âI donât blame you, I really donât. Iâm happy to know youâve met someone that has made you complete. Iâm sorry for not being able to do that to you. It mustâve been hard for you all those time, hm? So try to be happy now. Donât think too much about me. I will be okay, trust me on that. Iâve never gone back on my words, have I? I donât regret the time I had with you and I donât want you to feel guilty for not feeling a certain way.â
âLetâs do it, then?â You say, wanting to make sure like thereâs any way Wonwoo would say no. âFuck the universe, right?â
Wonwoo laughs and gently squishes your cheeks before he nods, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, his breath warm against your face even though his lips aren't touching yours just yet.
âFuck the universe, indeed.â
It's later that night that you point at the inside of his wrist and gasp when you check yours: identical marks of a twin gingko leaves intertwined with each other adorning your wrist and his.
Wonwoo grins.
His Autumn is finally here.
©wonwoonlight â all rights reserved. I donât allow any reposting, translation, and any other kind of redistribution of this fic. Please tell me if youâre aware of anyone doing this without my permission.
permanent taglist: @kyeomjjigae @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu @kpopjackie @ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @itsveronicaxxx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17 @leechanniee @twogyuu @hoe4wonwoo @h3h3tm0n @noraehey @seokshook @rubyhoons @02psh @just-here-to-read-01 @listxn @janandbeyond @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly @svtreverie @coveyland @reallydgafaboutmyusername @sysymei @ovai @aikisbbq @fr0g-filez @nvmbheart
pls tell me if you wanna be removed btw it's totally ok, no hard feelings!!
A/N 2: well, if you're reading this, thank you once again!! i have never written this trope before and i honestly can't tell at all if you'll like it or not. but i wrote this for wonwoo's birthday, so hopefully i'll have it in me to accept it if it's not your cup of tea. but anyway, it's been some time since i write anything this long also--didn't even know i had it in me to still write anything this long, and it kinda made me realize that... this might be my last long piece for a quite some time. it's not easy to write this, to see my notifications everyday and see less and less feedbacks while the likes take up 95% of them. i've said it before, but it gets discouraging the more it goes. i'm not announcing hiatus or anything, but i hope you know where my blog stands at this point. happy birthday once again wonwoo, my muse, the loml đ„°đ
there are literal tears in my eyes like i have been waiting all week for this and it didn't disappoint T__T ⥠the way this was written has me feeling that yearning in my chest and satisfied everything i always want in a soulmate fic i loved it so much
game bois
WONWOO †ARENA HOMME+
VERNON VOGUE Photoshoot Sketch with HOSHI & VERNON & WOOZI
â meet cute of the century âą
the last thing you expected when you volunteered at your cityâs local animal shelter is to meet the hottest cat person in the world. now if only heâd just adopt one of them so youâd stop ogling him every time he drops by.
â FEATURING; wonwoo x reader
â Â WORD COUNT;Â 25.4k words
â Â TAGS;Â meet cute, strangers to lovers, pining, discourse abt being an idol as a career, mild angst, smut
â Â NOTES;Â it's finally done!! and it turned out to be the longest oneshot i've written ever T T i reaaally didn't mean it to become this long but i got overly self-indulgent so here we are :3c also psa that this story features a handful of other characters from the series, so if you find them familiar that's totally on purpose HEH
this is part of the doting on you! series.
â Â SMUT TAGS; unprotected sex, service top wonwoo, praise kink, voice kink, first time together, fingering, creampie, ofc they're grossly in love
â Â TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jeonghancvunt - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @emmmui - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @coffeestay - @jkbabiey
â Â SERIES TAGLIST; @ti--red - @jeonwonhi - @gyusbabydoll - @xiaoting999 - @marksluvr0 - @ohmyhuenings - @downbadreading
P.S. i reserve the right to refuse to add you to my taglist if you don't have any age indicators in your profile :^)
There are a handful of things that a college student can do with their free time. Studying, hanging out with friends, and maybe even picking up a hobby of sorts. You, on the other hand, use up all the hours youâre not spending on your undergrad thesis or sleeping the day away at an animal shelter just a few minutes away from your apartment.Â
Your friends constantly wonder how youâre still able to maintain a remarkable GPA with a part-time job thatâs starting to look full-time, but you just laugh their questions off for the most partâsaying that other people have got it worse than you, but can still perform leagues better academically.Â
You also tell them that most of your motivation comes from all the unadopted animals from the shelter. You started as a volunteer just to kill time on weekends when youâre free, but even if you knew better than to get attached to all those adorable faces, you eventually found yourself on the employee roster anyways.Â
Now youâre rushing to finish your degree so you can get a neat sugar mommy job thatâll let you afford to adopt everyone thatâs been stuck in the shelter for nearly a year or more.
Okay, maybe not everyone because youâre no fool with a savior complex. But just enough to give a few furry friends a new home, right?
âDonât look now,â your coworker, Mina whispers conspiratorially while youâre in the middle of snacking in the break room, âbut that cutie youâve been crushing on just walked inside. Heâs checking out the cats out in the playroom as usual.â
Right. Apart from your altruistic dream of adopting as many animals as your financial capabilities can allow, thereâs another reason youâre always looking forward to your shifts at the shelter. A reason that youâre a bit too embarrassed to let your friends know about.
You nearly choke on a potato chip when Mina informs you of the news and she immediately breaks into a fit of laughter. Glaring at her, you compose yourself with a long gulp of water before saying, âI do not have a crush on him.â
âSure,â she plays along. âIf you consider making googly eyes at the guy every time he drops by as ânot having a crush on himâ, then Iâll concur.âÂ
âI hate you.â
âNo you donât, sweetheart. Now get out there and sweet talk him into taking one of the kittens home! Pretty sure he wants one if heâs been showing up as much as he did for the last two months.âÂ
While you wouldâve argued that the so-called cutie youâve been crushing on could just like seeing the cats play around in his free time, you donât really have much energy to play mental gymnastics with Mina. Youâve had a long day of revisions and other nonsense materials you have to submit for your majors, so youâll let this one slide.
Your workplace is as bleak as every other shelter youâve seen a few times in your life. Gray walls, concrete floors, and steel cages stacked on top of each other. It looks more like a prison than anything, really, but itâs the staff and those kind-hearted souls who rehome animals that have long been abandoned that give the entire place some life.
While Mister Cutie That Youâve Been Quote-Unquote Crushing On doesnât exactly fall into either of those categories, you like to think he still leaves the building just a touch more colorful once he walks out of the front door.Â
Speaking of color, heâs wearing a loose, dark green shirt that falls just below his elbows. Cutieâas youâve deigned to call him not because you think heâs cute but because youâre yet to get his nameâhas one palm flattened across the viewing glass of the playroom. Heâs wearing his usual black face mask today, but from the way his eyes glint behind his glasses, youâre just going to assume heâs having a good time just by watching the cats frolic inside.
âYouâre here pretty late,â you state nonchalantly before standing a few feet away from him.Â
âIs that so strange?â he murmurs with a chuckle, surprisingly not startled with your sudden entrance before glancing your way. âI always show up here at this hour, donât I?â
God. No matter how many times you hear his voice, you just canât get over how deep it is. But before any of your thoughts could show on your face, you get talking.
âTrue. Youâve sparked a debate among the volunteers about your line of work, actually.â Not exactly. Youâre not sure if any of the volunteers have even seen this guy, since they mostly work day shifts. âAnyway, are you just here to check âem out or am I finally going to hand you the adoption papers?â
His eyes crinkle a bit before he shifts his gaze towards the playroom again. Most of the older cats have already been put back in their respective cages. All thatâs left inside are the kittens with way too much energy to spare. The director, A.K.A., your boss, believes that itâs best to tire them out first before settling them into individual enclosures for the night. Keeps the place nice and quiet for the evening shift fellows like yourself.
âNot yet, sadly,â Cutie says with a sigh before pointing at a small black kitten huddled up in a corner. âThat oneâs new, isnât it? I donât think Iâve seen him around before.âÂ
âHer,â you correct. âHer nameâs Hani. Sheâs a stray that someone from the university Iâm attending brought in last week. It was pretty ugly, actually. Poor thing got into an accident and was bleeding everywhere. Good thing our usual vet was paying a visit when they came here.â
âOh? Thatâs a relief then. No wonder sheâs got a little limp every time she walks around,â he observes with a saddened tone. âBut I digress. You mentioned you were attending university?â
âŠOkay, whyâd the topic of interest suddenly shift to you?Â
But since itâs a harmless enough question, you reply with, âYeah. The one thatâs just a few blocks away. Itâs kinda why the person who found Hani brought her here instead of a vet clinic. The nearest oneâs like half an hour away.â
âGood call, good call.â He nods with a look of understanding. âI hope someone comes and adopts her. She deserves all the love she can get. Well, everyone here does of course.âÂ
You flash him a conniving smile, raising your brows a few times. âYou could give that to her.â
Cutie shakes his head with another low-pitched laugh. âAs much as Iâd love to, myâŠliving conditions wonât be suitable for her at all. Or any of the other animals for the matter.â
âHm?â You stare at him curiously. âYour landlord doesnât allow pets or something?â
âMmm⊠Not exactly.â
The conversation pretty much ends there. Cutie excuses himselfâsaying that someone is waiting for him at home. You donât know why your heart deflates a little at the very real possibility that he has a significant other. Then again, if youâre this whipped when you havenât even seen his face, you could only imagine how easy it would be for him to settle down with someone who has.
Either way, itâs none of your business. And correction: youâre not whipped. JustâŠhyper aware of his presence every time he stops by.
Despite the fact that youâre dead-set on filing this strange fascination you have for the guy, howeverâŠ
âWait!â
Cutie turns around to face you with an inquisitive look. âYes?â
You swallow thickly, deciding to just bite the bullet before your nerves get the best of you. âWhatâs your name? I canât keep calling you CuâI mean, Glasses Guy in my head whenever you pay us a visit.â
He blinks for a few seconds, obviously nonplussed by your forwardness but you donât think your pride can take it anymore if you had to refer to him asâ
âYou can call me Woo,â he says warmly and you can almost see the smile that stretches behind that black face mask.
Shit. Did your heart just stutter?
âMister Wooââ
âJust Woo is fine.â
âOkay, Woo,â you start, kind of liking the way that something thatâs obviously a nickname rolls off the tongue, âjust let me know if you ever want to take Hani home. Weâre open twenty four-seven, as you already know.â
He nods. âSure thing. Is it okay if I can get your number for that?â
Now you have to fight the urge to scowl at him after heâs been so nice to you all nightâand every other night heâs dropped by.Â
This guy isnât flirting with you. He said it himselfâsomeoneâs waiting for him at home. Plus, heâs expressed consistent interest in adopting a kitten for himself a handful of times before. Maybe he just connected with Hani on a level thatâs above the others. Enough to ask for your number since the possibility of him bringing one of these angels home is becoming more and more real.Â
Yeah, thatâs definitely the reason!
So you give it to himâhastily scrawled behind an old flier gathering dust in one of the drawers on the front desk. Itâs way too big to write just yours and the shelterâs contact details on, but the other calling cards are nowhere in sight. Youâll have to ask Mina if sheâs seen them onceâ
âThanks. Iâll keep in touch,â Woo tells you while folding the sheet of paper into a sleek black Louis Vuitton wallet.
Wait a minute.
Before you can even seriously ponder about what job heâs got to be able to afford that, Woo is already out of the doorâheading into the evening streets without once looking back.Â
âGosh, I swear that guyâs an idol in disguise or something.â
Thatâs the first thing that Mina tells you when you find her doing a few rounds among the sleeping dogs in the far back. You havenât even spoken a single word about your most recent exchange.Â
âWhat makes you think that?âÂ
âHe just exudes idol vibes, yâknow? Shows up here when the place is deserted. Always acts subtle and inconspicuous. Oh and not to mention how hot he looks even with a face mask on! He could be that one idol your little sister is crazy about.âÂ
You roll your eyes at her odd ways of deduction. âMina, Iâve seen enough of Haewonâs Mingyu merch to last a lifetime and Woo definitely does not look like him.â
âOh?â Your coworker perks up with a mischievous smile. âYou finally got his name, huh?â
God. This is going to be a long shift.
The next time you see Woo is, surprisingly, not at an ungodly hour in the shelter.Â
Well, itâs still at an ungodly hour, but the change in venue is a little baffling. You were up all night studying (read: cramming) for a major exam that youâll take at eight in the morning the next day. When you were finally at your witâs end, you decidedly hauled yourself away from your laptop and fluttered off to the only twenty four-hour coffee shop in the neighborhood.Â
You donât usually frequent this place because youâve tasted their shitty americanos firsthand, but youâre not in the mood to grind some beans yourself and youâre much too stubborn to drink anything instantâconvinced the powdered concoction would only make you sleepier.
So here you are, in line for an espresso because youâve decided to give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe not everything on the menu tastes less than itâs worth. With how many other students are pulling all-nighters here, that should be testament enough that they tolerate the placeâs drinks enough to linger.Â
But, to your horror, when youâre right in front of the graveyard shift barista, he informs you that wireless payments have been temporarily disabled and that theyâre only accepting cash up front. You make a show of patting down the pockets of your hoodie to check for your wallet even if you know damn well that you left it back at your apartment on purpose. Just when youâre about to resign yourself to buying shitty instant coffee at a Seven Eleven instead, the person behind you in line clears his throat.Â
âUh, I can pay for her drink.âÂ
You donât think youâve ever whipped your head around to check for a personâs identity faster than you did at that moment. Itâs not that youâre particularly obsessed with the low timber of his voice or anything, but youâd recognize the way the shelterâs late night regular speaks in a goddamn heartbeat.
âWoo?â you scowl as he maneuvers himself to the front of the line, bringing out that same Louis Vuitton wallet you were ogling the last time you saw him.Â
He pulls out a few banknotes and places them on top of the counter with what you think is a smile behind his mask. âCouple that with four iced americanos please.â
You purposely hold your tongue about your personal vendetta against that particular drink as the barista nods, punching in Wooâs order and asking for a name. Just when you thought heâd say the same one heâd given when youâd asked, howeverâ
âSoonyoung. Oh, and Iâll get those drinks to go, please.âÂ
Your gaze is on him the entire time as the two of you shuffle to the end of the counter to wait for your drinks. Woo is doing a pretty okay job at playing it cool despite the fact that he lied about the names on his orders. Or maybe he lied when he told you his name was Woo.Â
Either way, does it matter? Itâs not strange for people to make up fake names for baristas to write on their coffeesâMina does it all the time. But something about the idea that the man standing in front of you doesnât look like a Soonyoung bothers you more than it should. It makes you wonder what his actual name is and if itâs weird to ask when he already gave you one to address him withâ
âDidnât think Iâd see you here,â he suddenly says and you nearly have a heart attack.
âUh,â you start somewhat dumbly, before finally getting a hold of your brain. âI live around the area. Thought I could use a drink if I didnât want to sleep through my lecture notes.â
He lets out a low chuckle and at that moment, you let yourself observe him a little more closely. His hair is hidden behind a black beanie which he expertly paired with an equally black parka thatâs zipped up all the way. Heâs wearing a different pair of glasses todayâone with thick, black framesâand youâre starting to get an idea of what his favorite color might be.
âIs that why I havenât seen you at the shelter these days?â he wonders. âEvery time I dropped by last week, you werenât on shift.â
Oh. Shit, heâs been visiting still? And he was looking for you?
âYup, I needed to take a few days off because if I wanna graduate, Iâve got to keep myself from failing any of my majors,â you explain as briefly as you canânot wanting to go into detail about GPA requirements and your thesis. âHow about you? Whyâre you out and about at this hour, Soonyoung?â
Itâs kind of adorable, how the tips of his ears flush pink at your words. âSoonyoungâs one of my friends. I actually went out tonight because I lost a bet and had to buy four of us coffee.â
Youâre not sure how and why you feel a wave of relief wash over you, so instead, you brush the feeling aside before leaning against the counter. âLost a bet about what, pray tell?â
Woo is quiet for a while, as if contemplating if he should unveil his losses to someone whoâs virtually still a stranger before letting out a defeated sigh.
âMario Kart.â
The snort you let out draws a few curious stares from other customers sitting near the counter and you force out an apology thatâs underscored with a hiccup of laughter. Woo doesnât seem at all offended by your reaction though. In fact, he seems even amused by it.
Not ten seconds later, the barista calls out hisârather, Soonyoungâs name and he hands you your drink while he carries a takeout package in his other hand. You try not to think too much about the way his fingers brush against yours when he gives it to you, thanking him despite the obvious redness settling across your cheeks.
âI actually meant to text you last week but I didnât know if you were comfortable with it,â Woo admits as he opens the door to the coffee shop for youâthanking him as you step out of the air conditioned space and into the humid evening air. âI wanted to ask about the adoption requirements at the shelter.â
Part of you is a little skeptical about his explanation because⊠If heâs been dropping by your workplace as often as he claimed last week, then he couldâve just asked the other staff about the details. Why wait until he meets you again to bring it up?Â
But of course, youâre way too polite to ask that to his face.
âI donât mind you texting me about that orâŠanything, really,â you say, turning up the flap on the lid of your espresso before taking a small sip. Bearable. âItâs not like Iâm too busy to respond to you. Well, I kinda am, but I can spare a few minutes.â
Woo nods with a soft laugh. âOkay. Iâll just get into detail via text later. I gotta bring these coffees back or theyâll chew me out for the rest of the night for being late. Oh, but do you need someone to walk home with you?â
The idea of having your not-work crush escorting you home flusters you more than it should and when you take another sip of your drink, it nearly goes down the wrong hole. Woo pats your back in comforting fashion when you sputter from your coffee, tears stinging your eyes as you attempt to breathe like a normal person. Fuck, you must look so fucking weird right now.
âI-I, um, sorry about that.â You cough into your fist, laughing uneasily as you grip your drink a little too tightly. âNo, itâs fine. I only live a few blocks away.â
Now that you mention it, does that mean Woo is the same? If heâs out here in this specific neighborhood at this specific hour, that would only mean he lives in the area, or is at least staying for the meantime, right? But before you could get swept up by your own curiosity, you immediately sweep any and all ideas under the rug.
âOh, thatâsâthatâs good to know.â
He sounds disappointed. Why does he sound disappointed?
âSo I guess this is goodbye? â you start.Â
Woo nods briskly. âYup. Iâll keep in touch.â
You chuckle. âThatâs what you said last time.â
Whoa. Were you propositioning him or something? Sometimes, it baffles you how one minute, youâre choking on a cup of coffeeâseveral shades embarrassedâand the next, youâre practically daring him to text you like he said he would.
âAnd Iâll make good on that as soon as time permits.â Woo shakes his head with a laugh. âIt was nice seeing you again, though. Good luck with your exams.â
You canât help the way your cheeks heat up yet again at the thought of him having remembered that you mentioned your exams. âThanks. I think I need all the luck I can get.â
When Woo turns to look at you through those thick-rimmed glasses, you almost wish you could see the smile thatâs undoubtedly spreading behind that pesky mask of his.Â
âIâll be happy to give it to you every time then.â
Today was probably the shittiest day of the week.
Not only did you spectacularly flunk the exam you took this morning whilst running on less than two hours of sleep, but your thesis adviser emailed you about several concerns regarding the latest version of your manuscript. Needless to say, you spent a good chunk of your day holed up in the university library, consulting new reference materials to back up your data since the ones you used were much too outdated for your adviserâs liking.Â
It shouldâve been something youâd consider a walk in the park, given the many revisions that have preceded this one, but it just so happens that youâve got three more exams to worry about for the remainder of the week. Meaning, you had to squeeze in a few minutes of studying in between editing your newest draft and telling yourself that maybe it wouldnât be too bad if you got held back for one semester before graduating.Â
Youâve been so caught up with your piling academic responsibilities that youâve barely looked at your phone. You only deigned to dig it out of the deepest pit of your backpack when you got a little hungry and wondered if they still let food delivery guys past the school gates. To your surprise, youâre greeted with a few text messages that you immediately feel horrible for not replying to the moment they were delivered.Â
Unknown Number [10:45]: So about those adoption requirementsâŠ
Unknown Number [11:33]: Oh. Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. Itâs Woo.
Ignoring the fact that youâre obviously famished, you hastily type in a response after marking down Wooâs number with a black cat emoji right next to his name. It takes a moment because youâre so shaky, you end up suffering from a few typos here and there.
Me [13:10]: hey! sorry i was a bit busy and i just saw theseâŠ
Me [13:10]: what do you wanna know? iâm on a self-imposed lunch break rn
Woo đâ⏠[13:15]: No worries, I figured you got a long day ahead. Hope lunch is good at least.
Me [13:16]: actually, i havenât ordered anything yet âcause time got away from me but Anyways
Me [13:16]: you wanted details abt the adoption process?
Woo đâ⏠[13:18]: What? You haven't eaten yet?
Me [13:18]: yeah, but itâs no big deal. i could just have some food delivered.
Woo đâ⏠[13:19]: Well, Iâm out right now. I could just buy some food for you and drop it off.Â
Your eyes practically bulge out of their sockets when you read each word of Wooâs text message. Is he being serious right now? The guy just paid for your coffee last nightâa coffee that you forgot to pay back because of how surprising the circumstances were. Now heâs offering to buy you lunch?
Me [13:20]: you really donât have to, i swear!! iâve still got a few discount vouchers in baenim
Woo đâ⏠[13:22]: I insist. Iâve got my bike with me anyway.
Me [13:22]: bike? like, a bicycle?
Woo đâ⏠[13:23]: Mmm. Close. Anyway, what food do you want?Â
Now what the hell does that mean?
Part of you feels like you should be freaked out with howâŠkind heâs being to you. The world is full of weirdos who play the nice guy just to do something despicable to you in the end. Yet another part of youâa less reasonable one, admittedlyâinsists that Woo is nothing like that, despite the fact that you barely know the guy.Â
Then again, youâre tired, stressed out, and barely slept a wink last night. If the hot guy youâve been quote-unquote crushing on is offering to buy you food, whereâs the harm in accepting?
Me [13:25]: fine. i could use some yangnyeom chicken and tteokbokki.Â
Woo đâ⏠[13:26]: Nice. I know a good place.Â
Woo đâ⏠[13:27]: Iâll head out in a few, so just text me the address.
Right after sending your universityâs pin location to Woo, you start to consider the chance of him being some sort of serial stalker. Could he be biding his time, trying to let your guard down and easing personal information out of you so he could do something nefarious when he gets you alone? Fuck. Maybe itâs a good idea you didnât let him walk you home yesterdayâŠ
But despite the very real possibility of Woo being someone with bad intentions regardless of how nice he is, you see no problem in meeting him at the school gates when he arrives with your food. In fact, you donât even feel apprehensive of him in spite of all the ideas you conjured in your head over the past hour. Â
Me [14:15]: where are you?
Woo đâ⏠[14:16]: Parked by the curb in front of a bookstore. You canât miss me.
 Me [14:16]: i donât even know what you Look like today, genius
Woo đâ⏠[14:17]: I told you, Iâve got my bike with me. I donât see anyone else looking the same way within a twenty meter radius.Â
You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes. For someone you deemed as âniceâ, he can get pretty mouthy if he wants to.Â
You head to the general direction of the bookstore that Woo was talking about as you try to ignore your growling stomach. Given that the lunch rush is more or less over, the usual crowd of pedestrians has considerably thinned out and it makes it easier for you to scan the vicinity for any bike-wielding impromptu delivery guys.Â
However, the only person that does stand out to you is some dude wearing a black leather jacket, chilling next to an expensive looking motorcycle as he taps away on his phone with a matching pair of leather gloves and everything. His face is obscured by a black helmet and you wouldâve let your gaze go past him had it not been for a sudden realization that hits you right there.
Bike? Like, a bicycle?
Mmm. Close.
âWoo!âÂ
Of course the leather jacket-clad, expensive motorcycle-wielding man looks up at the sound of his name being called from across the street. The visor of his helmet is drawn all the way up and you could see that he isnât wearing his glasses for good reason. He seems to perk up at the sight of you before grabbing something from the trunk of his motorcycle and jogging to meet you where you stood.
Youâve seen him sporting a spectrum of comfortable outfits during his late night visits, but this is the first time youâve witnessed Woo looking as dapper as he is now.
âLate lunch delivery?âÂ
You donât even try to hide the way you roll your eyes as you accept the paper bag he hands to you. âThanks. How much do I owe you now? You already got me coffee and now lunch.â
He shakes his head and you find it a little ridiculous, considering heâs still wearing that huge helmet of his. âItâs on me. Itâs the least I could do to repay you for being so accommodating.â
âWoo, I havenât done shit for you âcause youâre yet to properly talk to me about the adoption process. What on earth are you talking about?âÂ
âBut you will do shit for me when we do talk about it. Iâm just repaying the favor in advance,â he rebuts cheekily before pulling back the sleeve of his jacket to check for the time. âThough as much as I want to do that now, I need to catch a flight in a few hours.â
That makes your expression morph into disbelief. âYou need to catch a what?â
âA flight. Gotta head to Japan for a few days,â Woo tells you nonchalantly, as if heading to Japan for a few days is something people do on a regular basis. âCan you make sure no one else takes Hani home before I can settle everything on my end?â
You tell yourself that youâve got time to mull over what this guy does for a living some other time. Clearing your throat, you manage an awkward smile. âUm, yeah, sure thing. Youâre really attached to her, arenât you?âÂ
âYou can say that again,â he laughs softly. âShe kinda reminds me of myself from a long time ago⊠But anyway, Iâve gotta go. Tell me what you think about the chicken when youâre done with it?â
You nod. âIâll be as brutally honest with my review as possible.â
âJust the way I like it,â Woo replies, eyes crinkling with amusement.
When you head back to the library, the person you were sharing a table with looked after your stuff for you while you were gone. You thank her profusely before settling back into your seat, grabbing the takeout packages from the paper bag that Woo personally delivered to you.Â
Before you can start wolfing down the delectable-smelling chicken he brought, however, you notice a cute sticky note plastered on the lidâa doodle of a cat with glasses and a speech bubble that says you can do it~ scribbled on the corner.
Donât overwork yourself. Itâs been ages since my last exam, but I know how hard it can be. Make sure to eat properly so you can absorb all the info you need.
When your head bangs against one of the many wooden tables in the library, the person seated at the far end stares at you with a concerned look. You canât muster the energy to assure her that everythingâs alright, though becauseâŠ
That quote-unquote crush of yours?Â
Itâs starting to become a little too real.
Youâre in the middle of throwing out old files from the back room archive when Mina peeks her head into the doorway and says, âYouâve got a visitor again.â
One glance at the old wall clock hung above the steel cabinets tells you that itâs midnight, but you know for one that this mystery visitor isnât Woo this time around.Â
Youâve been keeping in touch with him through Kakao, since you canât exactly afford to send international text messages to Japan and your new friend(?) has been keeping you posted about his shenanigans for the past week. He hasnât replied to your last message from over three hours ago and youâre not so delusional to think he got on a plane back to Korea and is suddenly here to surprise you.
When you see who it is, though, your heart warms just a little.
âWhy havenât you been texting me back?â Haewon, your sister whoâs two years younger, gets up from the seats lined up across the walls of the lobby. âI missed you!âÂ
You shake your head before pulling her into a hug. âI missed you, she says. But youâre really just looking for someone to show you around the city again, arenât you?â
âHey, missing you and needing a chaperone arenât mutually exclusive,â she huffs and you notice that sheâs in full fangirl gear againâa lightstick hanging off a strap slung across her shoulder, a windbreaker with her favorite boybandâs logo sewn on the front pocket, and of course, a photocard of Mingyu dangling from her little handbag.
Despite the fact that sheâs also in college, Haewon chose to stay in your hometown in Jeju to pursue her studies there instead. The first few months since you left were the hardestâso unused to not having your little sister go on and on and on about how much she loves SEVENTEEN. But youâve also come to appreciate the peace and quiet that living alone in Seoul affords you.Â
Besides, with how much money sheâs raised for being one of the more well-known event organizers in her fandom, Haewon can pretty much come visit you in Seoul whenever she feels like it.Â
âIâm guessing your thirteen boyfriends have a thing going on?â you ask before glancing over at the playroom to make sure there arenât any kittens left inside.Â
Haewon nods enthusiastically. âYup, theyâre having a mini fanmeet outside their company building in a few daysââ
âIn a few days?â you parrot before gesturing for her to follow you in the break room so you can get changed. âWhatâre you doing out here all dressed up then?â
Your little sister rolls her eyes. âUnnie, Iâm not some weirdo who wears their merch on a regular night for no reason. I came from this little cupsleeve event for Wonwooâs birthday. Things ran a little late because we had to help clean up at the cafĂ©.âÂ
While youâre not well-versed in fandom jargon, you have learned a few terms from Haewon here and there. Plus, she already took you to a cupsleeve event for another memberâs birthday once. Youâre not really sure who it was because the only one you do consistently remember is Mingyuâyour sisterâs ultimate bias, apparently.Â
âWhat made you stop by then?â you wonder as you exchanged your work uniform for a loose shirt. âYou didnât tell me you were coming in advance. I couldâve fetched you from the airport.â
âI did tell you in advance.â She pouts. âBut you said you were busy working on your manuscript when I did, so it mustâve slipped your mind.â
Oh. Okay, now you feel bad. âSorry. Iâll make it up to you this weekend with dinner?âÂ
Haewon whines. âUnnie, their fanmeet is on Saturday and I leave on Sunday.â
âSo? How long is that going to be anyway?â
âUh, all day?â
You sigh. âFine. How about you crash in my place tonight and we can rewatch Hometown Cha Cha Cha while stuffing our faces with ramen?â
âDeal.â
After timing out for the evening, you say goodbye to Mina, whoâs just waiting up for your other coworkers whoâll cover the next shift. Haewon talks your ear off about what happened in the event she attended as you both walked back to your apartment and, while only some of the things sheâs saying makes sense to you, itâs nice to be in your little sisterâs company again.Â
âOh, by the way, here.â
You stare at her curiously as she rummages through her bag, handing you a photocard enclosed in a dainty-looking toploader.Â
âWhatâs this for?â you ask.Â
âYou told me back then that Wonwoo was your type,â Haewon explains with a grin. âSo I did my best in one of the parlor games and won that extremely in-demand photocard just for you.â
You scan the piece of idol merchandise in your hands for a few minutes moreâstaring at Wonwooâs face as if waiting for him to speak. You never really understood the appeal of collecting photocards. As long as it makes Haewon happy, you wonât bat an eyelash.
But now sheâs giving you one to keep for yourself and the more you stare at the idol printed on the sturdy paper, the more you think that youâve seen him somewhere.
Then again, Haewon has been talking about these boys since they debuted years ago. The familiarity mustâve stemmed from those numerous fancams and music show performances that she forced you to sit down and watch with her.Â
âYou better take care of him, okay?â Haewon pouts. âIf I see him suddenly being sold for a high price, Iâm never going to let you live it down.â
âI barely know how the market for this works, so you donât have to worry about that,â you chuckle before carefully sliding the toploader inside your own bag. âSo what ramen are we eating? Shin Ramyun or something else?â
Me [21:17]: btw, when are you coming back again?Â
Me [21:20]: someone was asking about hani earlier and i feel like youâve gotta come back here to assert your dominance.
Woo đâ⏠[02:35]: Shit, sorry. I forgot about the time.
Woo đâ⏠[02:35]: My friends and I had a birthday celebration at the izakaya near our hotel. Itâs been a while since we got to unwind like this.
Woo đâ⏠[02:36]: Anyway, whoâs the funny guy who thought he could have my cat?
Me [02:38]: wow. YOUR cat? đ€šđ€šđ€š
Woo đâ⏠[02:40]: Youâre still awake?
Me [02:40]: yeah, my little sister is in seoul and weâre binging our favorite drama
Me [02:41]: how about you? why are You still awake?
Woo đâ⏠[02:45]: Taking care of drunk friends. Remember Soonyoung?
Me [02:45]: what about him?
Woo đâ⏠[02:47]: Pleading for forgiveness in the toilet while he retches his guts out.
Me [02:47]: huh. some birthday party. whoâs the celebrant anyway?
Woo đâ⏠[02:47]: Me.
âWhoa. You okay?â Haewon asks when you suddenly lurch forward on the couch, choking on the ramen you were in the middle of slurping.Â
You thank your sister when she offers you a glass of water and you gulp it down to soothe the burning sensation in your throat. âItâs fine. I just received a surprising text is all.â
âFrom a boyfriend?â she teases.
You scowl. âNo. From a friend. Just a friend.â
âBoo. But youâll tell me once you land yourself your very own Hong Dusik, right?â
The look on your face only worsens at the reference sheâs made to the drama thatâs still playing on screen. âIâd actually rather die than have someone like Dusik as a boyfriend. If the whole enemies to lovers thing works with Hyejin, it really won't with me.â
âTrue, youâve always been a mellow lover,â Haewon agrees and you roll your eyes. âThatâs why Wonwoo would be perfect for you~â
âI think me landing a Hong Dusik-esque boyfriend is more likely than me getting together with a world famous idol but okay.â
Youâre momentarily distracted from your conversation when your phone vibrates in your lap again, andâ Fuck.Â
You forgot to reply to Woo.
Woo đâ⏠[02:55]: Fell asleep on me already?
Me [02:56]: no, no. sorry. my sister was just talking to me.Â
Me [02:56]: anyway, itâs your BIRTHDAY?
Woo đâ⏠[02:57]: Hahaha, yes. Itâs been a while since I could sit down and actually celebrate it with my friends.Â
Me [02:58]: is that why you went all the way to japan? for a little birthday getaway?
Woo đâ⏠[02:58]: Hm⊠something like thatÂ
Me [03:00]: iâll give you haniâs adoption papers as a gift
Me [03:01]: that or you let ME treat YOU to something nice for a change
Woo đâ⏠[03:05]: Well, Iâll be back in Korea this Saturday, but wonât be free until late at night.
Me [03:05]: back to regular programming, huh?
Me [03:06]: we can celebrate later if youâre busy, you know.Â
Woo đâ⏠[03:07]: Itâs okay. I wanted to spend time with you anyways.
âYou sure thatâs just a friend youâre talking to?â Haewon asks with an unimpressed stare as you choke on your instant noodles for the second time. âThe only way Iâd react like that to a text is if my friend told me one of our professors is fucking his TA despite being married. If thatâs the case, you gotta let me in on the juicy details.â
You make a face at her. âIsnât that way too specific?â
âIsnât that way too specific?â Haewon mocks. âWhatever youâve got going on with this friend of yours, promise Iâll be the first to know once you make it official?â
âHaewon!â
For the sake of your own sanity, you only reply to Wooâs message once youâre tucked in bed and Haewon is comfortably dozing on the couch in the living room. Sheâs a heavy sleeper that passes out quickly after a long day, so you donât feel particularly worried about your little sister barging into your room when you type out a response.
Me [03:43]: gotcha. just meet me at the shelter after your thing.Â
Me [03:45]: happy birthday, woo.
You donât wait for him to type out a reply anymoreâeyes drooping into slumber as you let the screen of your phone fade into sleep mode.Â
Unbeknownst to you, a man who just finished putting his intoxicated friends to bed an ocean away stares at your chat history with a fond smile, heart racing just a few beats faster at the prospect of what awaits him at home.
Youâre just about done cleaning up the big dog kennels when Woo drops by on a bright Saturday morning.Â
The sound of his deep âhelloâ nearly made you drop all the cleaning utensils you were about to put away. When you turn around to confirm that the shelterâs nighttime regular has indeed switched things up and decided to visit during daylight hours, youâre too busy scowling at him to mind the fact that youâre all gross and sweaty from all the hard labor.Â
Sure, you texted him about taking up a day shift today, but you definitely didnât expect him to visit when he just got back to Korea a few hours ago.Â
Surprisingly, Woo isnât donned in all black this time around. Heâs wearing a gray pullover with some muddled text you canât quite read with the hood pulled all the way up, concealing the white cap resting on top of his head. Of course, his signature face mask is still in between you and his no doubt handsome countenance, but youâll take what you can get.
âWhatâre you doing here?â you ask, a bit breathless before you notice that takeout bag heâs setting down on one of the empty tables. âI thought youâre not gonna be free until tonight.â
âThought you could use another lunch fix,â he says nonchalantly. âWell that and I wanted to personally give you some cool trinkets from Japan.â
The sentiment makes your heart stir a little, but you end up voicing out a dry laugh before stuffing the shelterâs cleaning paraphernalia inside the broom closet. âKeep doing all these nice things and Iâll start thinking youâre in love with me.â
Woo laughs but does absolutely nothing to deny the allegations.
âHere.â Your brows arch a little when he fishes something from the pocket of his hoodie, handing it to you. âI wasnât sure which one youâd like so I just got all of them.â
Youâre a bit reluctant to receive his gift in your current stateâdirty hands, dirty clothes, dirty everythingâbut Woo doesnât seem to mind when he drops a small plastic package full ofâŠ
âKitties!â You coo out loud at the assortment of colorful enamel pins inside before gawking at him. âSeriously, Woo, youâre way too nice to me. Iâm starting to feel indebted.â
He shakes his head with an adorable laugh. âItâs nothing. I swear. They just reminded me of you when my friends and I passed this one booth at a festival.â
Shit. They reminded him of you?
âSo are you finally going to sit down and talk to me about adopting Hani or are you gonna keep skirting around again, mister?â You place a hand on your hip, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction as you tuck his gift safely in the back pocket of your jeans.
âSurprise, I actually came here to do just that. I still have an hour free before I have to go to work,â Woo admits and him mentioning work taps in on your innate curiosity about what he does for a living. âBut your coworker said something about rounding up the dogs and putting them back in the kennel?â
Oh. Shit.Â
As if on cue, Minaâalong with a few on shift volunteersâemerge down the hall, all of their hands gripping several leashes as an army of dogs fills the hallway with excited and agitated barking alike.Â
âAre we good to go?â Mina yells over the noise.
Trying not to look too disappointed that your time with Woo has been cut short, you give Mina a thumbs up before striding off to meet them halfway. You take it upon yourself to take a few of the dogs off one of the volunteersâ hands and he looks at you with withering relief when you do.Â
âYep. Everythingâs as fresh as a daisy now,â you inform them. âHope these guys didnât make too big of a mess up in the front though. That would mean Kinoâs turn for cleaning duty came a little early.â
âHey!â The volunteer in question complains. âIâve got a date later, noona. Donât go saying weird stuff like that.â
Youâre just about to tease him a little more but you suddenly feel the force of a couple of former strays tugging you forward disappear. Thatâs when you notice that Woo made his way to your side, guiding the dogs silently as he helps lead the first of them to the kennel.
âOh, you donât have to,â you insist but your friend(?) merely shakes his head.Â
âItâs no big deal,â Woo reassures.
It doesnât help that this particular hallway is a little cramped. Youâre practically standing arm to arm as you all make it to the end. You can practically smell the expensive cologne wafting from his clothes amidst the scent of dog fur thatâs starting to permeate the air. When Woo lets out another soft laugh when one of the dogs he has on a leash licks his hand, you know itâs over for you.
It takes about half an hour to settle all fifteen big dogs into their respective cages and by the time itâs over, youâre convinced that you need a shower now more than ever. As Mina and the rest of the volunteers head back to the reception room, you decide to take a break and help yourself to the takeout that Woo personally delivered yet again.
âThanks for your help. Cleaning day is really one of the toughest days of the month. Especially when we have to clean up the big dog kennels,â you sigh before plopping into an empty seat in the break room.Â
âDonât mention it,â he says and you find yourself imagining a smile behind his mask yet again. âI actually have a dog at home, too, so I would now. But sheâs definitely more tame than these guys.â
That makes you pause. âIs that why youâre beating around the bush so much about adopting Hani? You think she wonât get along with your dog?â
He hums a little before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. âThatâs one of the reasons, yes.â
âWell, you wonât know unless you try,â you huff as you unseal the takeout packageâthe delectable scent of yangnyeom chicken pervading your senses. âAnyway, youâre going to sign the papers this time, right? Right?â
You have a feeling that youâve finally got him cornered, but before Woo can even formulate a response, a ringtone that definitely isnât yours starts going off inside the break room.Â
Your friend(????) answers it with a wistful sigh.Â
Itâs so quiet that you can vaguely make out the voice at the other end of the line saying, âHyung. Everyoneâs looking for you. Where are you?â
You try not to stare at Woo as he takes the call out of pure decencyâdistracting yourself with your food. But you canât help but listen in when their conversation is the only thing you can hear at the moment.Â
âYeah, Iâll be there soon. Tell everyone Iâm sorry for the hold up, Mingyu.âÂ
The moment that name leaves Wooâs mouth, you freeze mid-chew. Did he say Mingyu? LikeâŠthe idol that Haewon is downright obsessed with? No⊠It was probably just someone with the same name. It is pretty common, after all.
When he ends the call, you flash him a tight-lipped smile that manages to conceal your momentary surprise. âRain check?â
âRain check,â Woo sighs in agreement.Â
You nod. âItâs okay. The more you keep delaying Haniâs adoption, the more presents I get from you.â
âAnd youâre absolutely right about that,â he humors you before reaching out to ruffle your hair. You havenât even recovered from that little gesture he just did when he asks, âHope our plans for later are still up though?â
Woo mustâve caught the look on your face with the way he retracts the hand that was just on top of your head to snicker into his palm. âDonât tell me you forgot. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday, remember?â
Curse you and your habit of making plans at ass oâclock in the morning. You always forget them!
âUh, it kinda slipped my mind?â you admit sheepishly as you pick at your food. âI ended up going for a day shift âcause I have to see my sister off at the airport tomorrow.âÂ
He nods in earnest and it kind of makes you feel bad about your short term memory. âItâs alright. Iâll just drop by some other time to get the paperwork over with. Iâve disturbed you enough as it is.â
âNo, itâs fine!â
Your sudden outburst makes Woo look up at you with a confused stare. âHm?â
âI-I can still meet up with you later,â you stammer and you have to force yourself not to bury your face in your hands out of sheer embarrassment. Pull yourself together, damn. âIf youâre not too tired from your plans for the day, of course.â
He mentioned something about having to go to work, and while you canât imagine what sort of work has to be urgently done on a Saturday, youâll still respect his time.Â
Woo blinks for a few seconds, as if still digesting what you just said before his eyes disappear behind his glasses with a soft chuckle. Your brows cinch together, not getting whatâs so funny.Â
âNoted. Iâll come pick you up here later, still? If youâre not comfortable with sharing your address with me yet.âÂ
Heâs so thoughtful, you might actually give him all your personal details at this point. But at the end of the day youâre actually a person with a head full of common sense, so you answer him with, âSure thing. Thanks for going out of your way to come hang out despite how busy you are.â
âNo, thank you for always putting up with me,â Woo insists with a shake of his head. âI swear Iâm not hassling you with this whole adoption thing on purpose. Thereâs justâŠa lot of things to consider on my end. I hope you understand.â
You wave away his concerns with a laugh. âJust keep getting me more of this chicken and weâll call it quits.â
âYouâve got yourself a deal.â
When Woo sees himself out of the break room, you fumble for the plastic package in the back of your jeansâtaking one of the adorable black cat enamels before pinning it in the front pocket of your uniform. You canât help the smile that creeps up your face when you see your reflection on the small mirror sitting on the table.Â
How could you be this down bad for someone whose entire face youâve never even seen before?Â
Haewon đȘ· [17:20]: Are you suuure you donât wanna come to the fan meet?
Haewon đȘ· [17:21]: Iâve still got a few extra passes :3c youâd get to see wonwoo in the flesh!
Me [17:30]: why do you want to set me up with wonwoo so badlyÂ
Haewon đȘ· [17:31]: Bc weâre sisters? And itâd be cool if we stanned MinWon together?
Me [17:32]: âŠnot even gonna ask you to elaborate on that
Haewon đȘ· [18:00]: Unnie ă ă
Me [18:00]: why? whatâs wrong, hae?
Haewon đȘ·[ 18:05]: Mingyu looks sooooo much better than I remember
Haewon đȘ·[18:06]: The girlfriend allegations must be true
Haewon đȘ· [18:06]: Only a man in love can smile like that!
Me [18:07]: or: a man who relies on fanservice to get paid?
Haewon đȘ·[ 18:08]: RUDE!!!!
Haewon đȘ· [18:08]: Hereâs a pic of Wonwoo to shut you up
Haewon đȘ· [18:09]: [Sent an attachment]
Me [18:10]: idk if i should find the fact that you think some kpop guy affects me in any capacity amusing or concerning
Haewon đȘ· [18:11]: !!!! Take that back wtf?? Wonwoo isnât just âsome kpop guyâ?????
Me [18:10]: sure he isnât.
Haewon đȘ· [19:45]: Good news!!
Me [19:45]: youâre finally going to get off my back about the whole wonwoo thing?
Haewon đȘ· [19:46]: No ^_^ My Monday final got canceled so I can stay in Seoul for a day more!
Haewon đȘ· [19:46]: Aka you donât have to wake up early to drag your ass to the airport w me
Me [19:47]: oh. thatâs cool. whatâre your plans for tomorrow then?
Haewon đȘ· [19:48]: Gonna attend the pre-recording for a music show :3
Me [19:50]: âŠHaewon i swear to god if you ask me to do what youâre about to ask me to do
Haewon đȘ· [19:50]: Come with me pretty pleaaaase?
Haewon đȘ· [19:51]: Iâm using my adorable dongsaeng powers to get you to agree
Me [19:55]: thereâs no talking my way out of this, is there?
Haewon đȘ· [19:55]: Nope <3
Me [19:56]: fine. just text me the details. i need to go out soon.Â
Haewon đȘ· [19:56]: HEHE have fun !!
You werenât lying when you texted Haewon that you had to go out soon. You agreed that youâd meet up with Woo for his post-birthday celebration at 9 P.M. Hell, you even called a local bakery to have a personalized cake made for pick-up before you head over to the rendezvous point. Everything was already set right from the start.
But then you ended up falling asleep while scrolling through Twitter and now the clock reads 10:45 P.M., and youâre rushing to pull on a ratty sweater instead of the cute outfit you planned for the night as you rush out of your apartment.
Me [10:47]: FUCK IM SORRY
Me [10:47]: i was SUPPOSED to take a five minute nap but i didnât realize how tired i was
Me [10:48]: are you still up to hang out? i totally get it if not though.
You immediately stuff your phone in the pocket of your jeansânot even bothering to glance at Wooâs reply when it vibrates with a text notification. Your conscience is much too guild-ridden to read any sort of reassurance heâd undoubtedly give to you despite how long youâve made him wait.Â
Two hours, jeez. Youâd be furious if someone was that late on you.
When you arrive at the shelter after doing a couple of quick detours, youâre panting like you just won first place in a marathon. Needless to say, itâs a pitiful sight to behold when Woo is leaning across his motorcycleâlooking much too attractive in that stupid leather jacket of his.Â
âIs this what the kids call fashionably late these days?â he chuckles.
If you werenât so apologetic, you wouldâve rolled your eyes so instead, you give him a crumpled paper bag with a smile that borders on overcompensating.
âHappy birthday?â
Woo looks like he was just about to say something until a quiet mewl interrupts him midway. You gaze at him with a puzzled look until he stifles a soft laugh, pulling the lapel of his jacket open to revealâ
âHani?â You scowl.
The black kitten is tucked away snugly in the inner pocket of Wooâs jacketânearly blending in with the leather. Itâs almost as if two pairs of big yellow eyes are staring at you from a void.Â
âFinally got the papers over with when you fell asleep on me,â Woo chuckles before scratching behind her ears. âSo I guess it wasnât so bad that you made me wait for two hours.âÂ
âHey, I said I was sorry!â
âYes, and I heard you,â he insists before peering inside the paper bag you gave him. âWhatâs this?â
âNo peeking until we get to your good old thinking spot,â you scold, smacking his hand away.Â
A hand that you just noticed is also clad in a leather glove.Â
He shakes his head playfully before putting his arms up in surrender. âFor someone whoâs two hours late, youâre pretty demanding.â
âWoo!â
During his last few days in Japan, Woo told you about his favorite thinking spot thatâs specifically located beneath Hannam Bridge. Thereâs an old watchtower that was built before the bridge even existed. I go there when I want to clear my head.Â
When he said he wanted to bring you there for his belated birthday bash, the ghastly possibility of him turning out to be a serial killer luring you to your doom crossed your mind for half a second before you ended up agreeing anyway.
Now here you are, drowning in the musk of his cologne as you press your cheek against the fabric of his jacket. Heâs definitely going past the speed limit with how sharply the wind sings in your ears, but instead of complaining about it, you tighten your arms around his torsoâletting the warmth of his body seep into yours.Â
âItâs not so scary if you donât think about it too much,â you hear him shout from the front. âLook to your right! This is why Iâve always liked doing late night rides!â
Easy for him to say. Heâs brave enough to harbor a kitten inside his jacket and a person whoâs never ridden a motorcycle before at a hundred kilometers per hour! But despite how terrified you are of falling off his bike, you do as he says anyways.
When you tilt your gaze in the direction of the Han River, youâre immediately greeted by the dazzling lights that glimmer across the water. You havenât been to the districts on the other side of the river, but you think youâre content with getting to see them from afar.
With the roar of an engine ringing in your ears. With the summer evening breeze whipping past your face.
With your arms around someone whoâs slowly but surely leaving his mark in your life.Â
âAre you sure this is legal?â
Your companion glances behind him as he makes his way to the aforementioned watch towerâa knapsack full of god-knows-what slung around his shoulder while he carries the paper bag with your âgiftâ in his free hand. âIâve never seen a single âNo Trespassing' sign since Iâve started going here ages ago, so probably.â
âProbably?â you parrot and Hani, who youâve deigned to carry in your arms after that grueling motorcycle ride, meows as if sheâs just as incredulous as you are. âSo itâs still possible for us to get arrested?â
âYeah, but whatâs life without a little risk?âÂ
Unbelievable.
Yet, despite the common sense you were oh-so proud of this morning, you still follow him up the winding steps of the watchtower, which is hardly even a watchtower given that itâs a few meters beneath the widest bridge in the city. Woo wasnât lying about his strange description of it after all.
âWell, here we are,â he announces when the two of you reach the platform on the very top. The edges are lined with metal rails that are beginning to rust with age, but seem sturdy enough to grant you some sense of securityâno matter how sparse. âIâll just set this up. You can go enjoy the view if you want.â
Woo doesnât even let you get a word in before he unzips his bag and brings out a checkered picnic blanket. He gently lays it across the dusty concrete, smoothing out the fabric before fishing some more stuff inside his gym-bag-turned-picnic-basket. You keep yourself from making any snide comments about his choice of venue because despite the unorthodox location, you actually get why heâd find it peaceful here.
Itâs far enough from the freeway that the sound of vehicles rushing through the night can barely reach your ears. If you listen closely enough, you can even hear the water flowing below much more clearly. You close your eyes to get a better feel of the placeâimagining a six-foot something guy leaning across the rusty railings as he watches the city lights sparkle across the Han River.
âThere we go.âÂ
You startle when you feel Wooâs warm, leather-clad hand on your shoulderâprompting you to turn around and see his handiwork. In the middle of the picnic blanket is something that looks suspiciously like a portable emergency light. How he got his hands on something like that, youâre not entirely sure, so you decide to focus on the other details instead.Â
Like the two unopened bottles of soju right next to a take-out package of your favorite yangnyeom chicken.Â
âDidnât we agree that I was treating you to something this time around?â you grumble as you absentmindedly stroke Haniâs fur.Â
âWe did, but then you overslept andââ
âOkay, fine! Point taken!â
Woo snickers as he hands you the paper bag you brought for the trip. It looks even worse than it was when you ran all the way to the shelter and you can only hope the package inside isnât completely ruined.Â
You decide to let Hani down inside the gym bag that Woo left unzipped. Surprisingly, the newly adopted kitten makes a home out of it quicklyâcurling up into a ball as her tail swishes every now and again. Cute.
âDonât judge, okay?â You breathe out nervously as you take the plastic container out of the bag. âI had a legit cake custom-made and everything butâŠyeah. Overslept.â
When Woo doesnât respond a second too long, your gaze nervously rivets to his face to parse for a reaction. Was he disappointed? Should you have gotten a different design?
The moment you see the dazzled look in his eyes, however, you realize that isnât the case.
He receives the little cupcake with open arms when you give it to him. Itâs chocolate topped with bad fondant icing art, but you didnât really have a choice. When you spotted it in the convenience store earlier, you grabbed the one that looked most like a kitten and dipped. Itâs nice to know that he might actually like it after all.
âOh and uh, sorry, but I couldnât bring any candles for you to blow,â you add sheepishly. âYou can just make a wish and pretend.âÂ
Wooâs gaze drifts to you for a moment before his eyes crinkle with laughter. âI donât really have to do that though. My wish has already come true.â
Huh?
To your chagrin, he doesnât elaborate. Instead, Woo invites you to sit on the picnic blanketâcarefully removing his boots so he wouldnât track dirt all over the food and you follow suit.Â
You fill the silence with your goings-on for the rest of the day and how exactly you ended up dozing off and heâs kind enough to listen to every word. However, when you ask if he wants to do a toast, he shakes his head.
âI need to drive you back, remember?âÂ
You shoot him a dirty look. âSo you took me all the way out here just so I can have two bottles of soju all to myself while you sit there and listen to me talk about my day?â
â...Yes?â
Men are so fucking infuriating sometimes, you can hardly believe it.
âNope.â You firmly shake your headâplucking the bottle opener he set down on the blanket to pop the caps off. âYouâre drinking with me. Just quit driving past the speed limit so we wonât die in a freak accident.âÂ
You immediately notice the stiffness in his shoulders as you shove the bottle of soju in his hands and part of you feels kind of bad for being pushy. For a moment, you allow yourself to scrutinize him for a bit longer. What could possibly be deterring him from drinking after going out of his way to do all this?Â
Thatâs when you realize he still has his mask on.
Does heâŠhave issues about people seeing his face?
That would definitely explain why he hasnât once taken it off in all the times youâve met him so far. With that in mind, you promptly decide to tell him that okay, he doesnât have to if he really doesnât want to, but then Woo is already reaching up to peel the blasted face mask off.Â
Your chest seizes with panic, hands flying in front of you to keep him from doing something against his will. But the effort is futile because it only takes a second for him to remove andâŠÂ
Fuck.
Cue the choir of angels because goddamn does this man look like heaven.
Woo shifts somewhat uncomfortably under your stare, as if heâs waiting for you to blow up all over his face or something. But youâre much too mesmerized by too many things to form any sort of response right away.Â
The sharp cut of his jaw. The gentle curve of his Cupidâs bow. The tinge of red spreading across his cheeks.
âI canât believe youâve been gatekeeping yourself from me all this time,â you whisper with a strained laughâpurposely peeling your gaze away for the sake of your own sanity. âI knew you were hot, butâŠGod. I hate you.â
âYouâŠdonât recognize me?âÂ
The question brings you out of your feelings for a moment, making you glance at him with a questioning stare. âAm I supposed to?â
Woo gapes at the question like he didnât expect that to be your response before shaking his head vigorously.Â
âN-No. Anyway, you said I was hot but you hate me?â
You narrow your eyes at him before taking your first swig of soju. âDonât start getting all cocky with me, mister! Iâve got eyes and I canât help that youâre objectively attractive. Just stating facts here.â
When Woo smiles for the first time without the figurative cockblock that is his signature black face mask and honestly? If you died right now, youâd die happily.Â
The night presses on in a haze of soju, spicy chicken, and the occasional visit from Hani who uses either of your laps as her personal bed for about five minutes before switching to the other person.Â
This is the longest youâve been with Woo and youâre starting to realize that he isnât much of a talker, which you completely understand. You canât imagine someone whoâs hell-bent on keeping what he looks like a secret for so long being a chatterbox.
âOh, but you mentioned something to me at the shelter one time,â you pipe up before scooping a forkful of chicken into your mouth.Â
âYeah? What is it?â Woo asks softly as he pets Haniâs back.Â
Feeling just a little bit tipsy from the alcohol, you try not to stare too hard at his handsome face or the way his lip curls at the edges with a tiny smile when Hani purrs from his touch.
âYou said Hani reminded you of yourself from before,â you whisper as your gaze drifts to his leather-gloved hands. âIs it okay to ask what you meant by that?â
The sound of the river flowing beneath the watchtower fills your ears as you bask in the silence. Itâs a pretty personal question. Youâd totally get it if he decides not to answer, but youâre much too curious to keep yourself from asking.Â
âWell, I wasnât a stray or anything, but there was a time in my life that I felt soâŠaimless. I lost someone near and dear to me, and I didnât know how to deal with it for a very long time.â
Hearing the earnest ring of Wooâs voice, you force yourself to snap out of your subtle inebriationâscooting a little bit closer to him on the blanket to make sure you catch every word.Â
âI didnât get into a life-threatening accident like this one did either, butâŠâ He trails off for a moment, stroking the scar that you know runs along Haniâs sternum but has long healed with his fingers.Â
âI managed to get back on track when the people around me showed me their support. They didnât leave even if all I wanted was to be left alone. If it werenât for them, it mightâve taken me even longer to move past what happened. Worse, I might not have moved past it at all.
âWhen I saw Hani that day, she looked scared of all the other cats. Like she wasnât ready to let anyone get close to her just yet.â Woo breathes deeply before taking a small sip from his bottle. âI guess I was the same way, too. Healing isnât linear. Sometimes, when I think Iâm all better, one day, I just spiral back to where I started in the next one. ThatâsâŠkind of where you fit into the picture, actually.â
The brief pause in his story makes you blink at him, surprised. âMe?â
He nods. âYou used to feed the strays in your neighborhood, right? You even had a schedule and everything.â
âThat was months ago,â you mutter. âYou mean you already knew me back then? Because of that?â
âIâŠactually live in that area, too.â He clears his throat, that familiar blush settling across his cheeks once again. âI often saw you feeding the strays because thatâs usually the time I got back from the cemetery. One day, things got a bit too much and I kind ofâŠbroke down in the park instead of just doing that at home.â
He says it like heâs embarrassed and now that he mentioned it, you vaguely remember consoling a stranger during your days before volunteering at the shelter. You donât recall much of it thoughâjust the memory of awkwardly patting his back before sending him off feeling just a bit better because you saw him smile a little.
Other than that, youâre drawing blanks.
âHow exactly did I help you, though? If you donât mind me asking.âÂ
âI wouldnât say you helped me or anything, butâŠâ Woo pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose while slyly avoiding your eyes. âI distinctly remember you saying something likeââ
Hey, itâs just a bad day. Or a bad week. Or a bad month. I donât know. But itâs not a bad life. Itâll get better soon. I promise.
Fuck. Maybe you do remember.
âIt didnât really mean much to me at the time. Honestly, it kind of pissed me off at first,â Woo admits with a guilty chuckle before taking another sip. âBut you were right. Sometimes, things got worse. Other times, it got better. But one day, I realized that I got to a point where it doesnât hurt as much anymore.
âIâm not usually this open about my problems, but I learned overtime that talking about them makes them less taxing to deal with. Almost like Iâm just talking about the weather, you know?â He smiles softly and you swear your heart melts at the sight of it. âAndâŠI also donât want to be closed off from others anymore. Back then, I mostly just kept everything to myselfâbottling it all up until it was just unbearable.âÂ
âNow youâre here spilling your guts out to some random college senior,â you snicker before taking another swig of your soju. You pout when you realize the bottleâs all empty before placing it back on the picnic blanket. âThatâs some character development.â
âIt really is.â
The silence sets once more and your eyes wander off to the city so close yet so far away. The lights from the skyscrapers glimmer like stars across the calm waters of the Han River and you like to think it compensates for the fact that the sky is blocked out by the bridge stretched far and wide above you.Â
This isnât how you imagined your first stargazing date would be like, but itâs a good start.
Although, the moment the idea crosses your mind, youâre quick to jolt at your own thoughts.Â
This isnât a date. Youâre just celebrating his birthday together. Alone. On a picnic blanket. With one of the loveliest sceneries youâve laid your eyes on. In a place where he claims that he never once showed to anyone else.Â
âHey, is thisââ
Your breath hitches in your throat when you turn to look at Wooâonly to find his face mere inches from yours.Â
âWhat?â he whispers and despite the fact that youâre wearing a sweater, you feel goosebumps rise across the skin of your shoulders.Â
âUh.â Fuck. âIs this a date?â
His mouth curves into a smile that you canât quite get a read on. âIt can be what you want it to be.â
âOkay,â you breathe out, suddenly feeling hot all over as his eyes flicker to your lips. âJust so you know, I donât kiss on the first date.â
When Woo laughs again, itâs a deep-seated noise that makes your insides tingle with an indescribable feeling. You donât really want to give it a name.
âOkay,â he repeats before pressing his forehead against yours. âWe can have our first date next time then.â
Of course the sly fucker dives in for a kiss anyway.
âH-Hey,â you whisper in between, trying not to get too distracted with how plump his lips are as you keep holding him still by his broad shoulders. âYouâre going to end up crushing Hani if you d-donât cut it out!â
Woo sighs against your lips before pulling away regretfully. For a moment, he stares at the sleepy kitten on his lap, gazing around cluelessly after being roused from slumber. His expression softens for a moment as he scoops her up with both hands, settling her down in the comfort of his gym bag. She lets out a satisfied mewl before curling into a ball once more.
âBetter?âÂ
Youâre not sure if heâs asking you or the cat, butâŠ
âBetter,â you whisper before fisting the lapels of his jacket and crushing your lips with his.
You donât know where youâre pulling all this pent-up frustration from. During the very brief period that youâve gotten closer to Woo, your general opinion about him never really deviated from heâs cute and heâs hot. Nothing more, nothing less.
Yet here you are, gasping into his mouth as he flattens his tongue against yours. A strong arm hooks around your waist, pressing your bodies infinitesimally closer and your skin is slowly hitting a fever pitch beneath your clothes. Something wild and all-consuming burns in your veins and you channel it into a moan that makes his grip on you grow tighter.Â
You donât know how exactly you wound up on top of his lapâknees planted on either side of his hips as he continues devouring you with no intention of leaving anything behind. You can feel the expensive material of his leather gloves when his fingers graze along the hem of your sweater. Your skin tingles like every nerve ending has been set alight and if you werenât already rendered dizzy by his intoxicating cologne, youâre in for a ride with each second his touch hikes further up your torso.
Woo sighs against your lips before pulling away momentarilyâeyes aflame before he removes his fogged up glasses with one hand, tossing them somewhat carelessly on the picnic blanket.Â
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.Â
Why was that so hot?
Youâre too stunned to even draw a breath as he stares you down without the constant partition of his glasses. Has his gaze always been this sharp? Have those eyes always been transfixed on you?
âThisâŠThis wasnât part of the plan, if youâre wondering.â Woo croons out the words huskily. Like an afterthought he only considered out of concern for you. Cute. âI swear I didnât have any ulterior motives whenââ
You giggle, before pressing a kiss on his nose. Wooâs eyes widen just a fraction.
âWhat made you cave then?âÂ
The way his Adamâs apple bobs has no right to be that alluring, but it pulls you in anyway. âYou looked really cute tonight.â
âIs that all?â
âUm, I thought it was sweet that you still got me a cupcake after you overslept?â
You groan, forehead bumping into the crook of his neck. Jesus Christ, he smells so fucking good. âHow long are you going to hold that over my head for?â
You feel the vibrations of his laughter humming against your connected chests and your heart swells as Woo wraps his arms around your frameâpulling you into a firm embrace as the heat that engulfed the both of you slowly simmered into the cool evening air. You can feel him tracing idle shapes along your shoulder blades and the small of your back, and it does nothing to keep you from melting into his touch.
Itâs so strange how easily you gave into him. Youâve formally known Woo for about three months and became legitimate friends(?) for less than three weeks. If you told Haewon about this whirlwind romance of yours, sheâd hit you upside the head and tell you youâre being way too hasty for a man.Â
But if itâs a man with a black kitten taking a nap in his gym bag while he kisses you senseless underneath one of Seoulâs busiest freeways, you suppose you can make an exception.
âWe should go,â Woo murmurs softly. âYouâve still got to accompany your sister to the airport right?â
âMmm. Nope. Sheâs staying a day longer,â you inform him with the same quiet tone, letting your fingers trail up to his hair so you can toy with the strands in your fingertips. âBut I do have some more edits to get over with in my final manuscript, soâŠyeah. We should go.â
Despite wanting nothing but to stay there in Wooâs little safe haven, the two of you manage to miraculously peel yourselves away from each other. Your face is hot the entire time you helped clean up his little picnic setup. When he shuts off the portable emergency light, you squint as you parse your way through the darkness.Â
You kind of end up tripping on air like a complete idiot, but before you can tumble off the rails and into the river, Woo catches you by the waistânot so different from how he held you ten minutes prior.
âCareful,â he mutters as he lets you go and you canât help but silently mourn the loss of his touch again. âI donât want to be accused of being a murderer.â
You snicker as he gently scoops Hani out of the gym bag and back into the spacious compartment in the lapel of his leather jacket. For a sleepy kitten, sheâs surprisingly compliant. âI actually thought all this time you were some sort of serial killer trying to lure me to my doom.â
âYou thought that but you came with me anyway?â
âWhy not? Youâre hot.â
That night, you let Woo drive you back home now that heâs more or less beaten the serial killer allegations. You tell him that he doesnât have to walk you to your apartment, but he insistsâsaying that he can afford to leave Hani on his bike for a few minutes.Â
Of course, it ends up with another heated makeout session against your front door. This time, those stupid leather-clad fingers hike high enough on your back to toy with the clasp of your bra while his other hand remains tangled in your hair to pull you impossibly closer.
âI have to go,â he rasps before swiping his tongue along his bottom lipâgiving you a sudden itch to sink your teeth into it. âBut youâre making it really hard to leave.âÂ
Heâs making it really hard to tell him to go home, too, but as much as you want to kiss the night away, you still have some of your wits about you.
You chuckle as you reluctantly extract his wandering hands away from your body. Woo sighs in surrender with a nearly inaudible laugh.
âYou already bent my I donât kiss on the first date rule, genius,â you remind him breathlessly. âDonât push your luck just yet until weâve had that so-called first date next time.âÂ
He grins. âSo thereâs going to be a next time?â
Deciding to keep him on his toes, you bat your eyelashes coquettishly at him. âOnly if you want to.â
Woo leans in to press his lips against the corner of your mouthâtrying his best to suppress the grin on his face.Â
âIâll hold you to it then.â
Despite having lived in Seoul for four years and having a hardcore fangirl for a sister, todayâs the first time youâll be attending the pre-recording session for a music show.Â
Needless to say, you feel like an outsider amongst the fans armed with all sorts of idol merchandise and dressed in the prettiest outfits. Haewon managed to mooch a lightstick off one of her friends for you to use, but despite the fact that you know not a single soul would give two shits about you here, the alienating sensation remains.Â
âHey, donât be too nervous,â your little sister chortles as the marshals usher the crowd into the studio. âAll you gotta do is wave that lightstick to the beat. Youâll blend right in, I promise.â
You crack her a nervous smile. Oh, the things you do to make Haewon happy.
Itâs a little bit of a blur from there. You squeeze past the throng of fans while simultaneously trying not to lose your sister in the crowd. Some of the staff are handing out photocards that you hear are exclusively given away at this specific broadcast and were worth hundreds of thousands of won. Youâre not sure which member Haewon got for you, but knowing your little sister, she mustâve snagged one of Wonwooâs.
When the two of you are settled in your seats, you take the time to admire the set. You never imagined idol music show stages being this massive in person. In fact, you never really spared an active thought about them. Most of the info you do know about these kinds of things are secondhand accounts from Haewon from all the times sheâs been to several broadcasting studios across the city.Â
âDid you bring the PC I got you last time?â she asks before taking out the broadcast ones out of their plastic package.Â
You shake your head. âSorry. That Wonwooâs sitting in a different bag.â
âWell, at least you havenât sold him,â your little sister laughs before handing you one of the cards in her hands. âI told the staff to give us Mingyu and Wonwoo, but they gave me Hoshi and Wonwoo. Itâs okay though, âcause Hoshiâs my bias wrecker anyway.â
Ah. More fandom jargon that youâre just now hearing about.
Just as the staff is starting to do the final preparations on stage, you decide to check out the broadcast PC that Haewon just gave to you. When your eyes land on Wonwooâs face, however, you suddenly feel your blood freeze in your veins.Â
YouâŠdonât recognize me?
One of the staff members announces that the boys will be out shortly to begin the pre-recording session but the words are all but muted in your ears.Â
Because how the hell can you focus on anything else when the face of the man who drove you back home last nightâthe man who kissed you until you were lightheadedâis plastered on a photocard that could be exchanged for an entire fortune?
This canât be right, you muse with a scowlâfishing your phone out of your bag as your trembling fingers make haste to open your messaging app. He canât be the same guy.Â
Woo đâ⏠[09:35]: Good morning, I hope you got enough rest!
Woo đâ⏠[09:36]: I have a schedule later this morning so I might be MIAÂ
Me [09:40]: itâs cool. i just woke up actually hahaha
Me [09:40]: i also donât mind! iâm heading out with my sister in a while too
Me [09:41]: have fun at work(?)
Woo đâ⏠[09:45]: Haha I will :) Have fun with your sister!
With a deep breath, you lock your phone just as the lights start to dim and the crowd cheers their hearts out. Haewon urges you to turn on your lightstick and the part of the studio thatâs filled to the brim with an audience is lit up with hundreds of dazzling lights. Â
You wouldâve appreciated the sight if only a certain someone didnât play you for a fucking fool.
Just as promised, the boys that your little sister has been crazy about since their debut all fill the stage gradually. Some of them greet the fans with wide grins and silly little gestures. The others are a little more reserved with their greetingsâall shy smiles and reserved movements.
Like Wonwoo, for example.
After several years of only knowing Mingyu thanks to Haewon, this is the first time you were able to pick out another one of them on stage with ease. Why wouldnât you be able to recognize him?Â
He had you pressed up against your front door only a few hours ago.
It all made sense now. The affinity for keeping a face mask on. The late night visits. The fact that he seems to make an exorbitant amount of money from a job he doesnât want to disclose.
Woo is Wonwoo from SEVENTEEN.Â
And he somehow forgot to let you know over the course of your time together.Â
You try to keep down the frustration that burns in your throat, making you feel like the roof of your mouth is stuffed with cotton. Itâs much easier to mask your feelings once the performers all get into position and the music starts. The loud beat blaring from the speakers coupled with the well-practiced fanchants from the audience easily overpower the sound of your hitched breathing. Even Haewon was too engrossed with the performance to notice your distress.
Still, thereâs not much you can do about it now. Especially when Wonwooâs the one who starts up the first verse of their newest song.Â
He looks soâŠdifferent from the gentle giant youâve come to know over the past few weeks. Thereâs a dangerous look in his eyes that you know is all for show, but it makes your spine tingle at the sight of it nonetheless. The words to the song are raspily sung into the mic and if you werenât convinced that he and Woo arenât the same person, you most certainly are now.
After all, itâs his fucking voice that got you so down bad in the first place.
Once his part is done, Wonwoo quickly heads over to the next formationâa complete professional by heart. He belts out each dance move with such perfect precision and you wouldnât expect any less from an idol whoâs spent years honing his talents. But despite how awe-struck you are to see this side of him in person, it just wasnât enough to completely erase the feeling that youâve been betrayed.
It stings even more when the song ends and the studio is filled with deafening screams from the audience yet again. For once, Wonwooâs stoic expression cracks with a handsome grin as he and the rest of his bandmates huddle together and exchange high fives.Â
That person on stage is both the man you caught feelings for and a stranger at the same time. He easily smiles at the fans the same way he would smile at you, but the difference between Woo and Wonwoo is that only one of them is willing to show this part of his life to the rest of the world.Â
Did he not trust you enough? Did he think youâd act like some crazy fan if he told you the truth?
You love Haewon. You love your little sister more than anything in the world, but you canât pretend that things are okay when the man who kept you in the dark is standing right in front of you, clueless of the revelation that occurred to you just now.
âWhere are you going?â Haewon calls out when you make your way out of the rows of seatsâearning yourself a collection of glares from the other fans in the vicinity. âUnnie, hey!â
The last thing you want to do is ditch her for something you promised youâd see through until the end but youâre just so fucking done. You donât want to see Wonwoo right now. Or hear him and his stupidly perfect voice through the studioâs sound system.Â
Right now, you justâŠwant to be alone.
About two weeks after you stormed out of the first and last music show pre-recording youâll ever attend in your life, things have more or less mellowed out. Sort of.
Youâve been taking fewer and fewer shifts at the shelter as graduation draws ever-so near. But aside from wanting to focus on getting your academic backlogs over with, you also wanted to stay away from the one place that Wooâor should you say Wonwooâcan easily find you and subsequently corner you to talk. Because you donât want to talk to someone whoâs basically been lying to your face the entire time youâve been friends.
Well, you suppose if you really donât want to hear even a peep out of him, you shouldâve blocked his number altogether. But thatâs not really the case.
Your phone buzzes while youâre in the middle of signing off adoption papers to a couple who wanted to adopt one of the shelter cats. You thought it was pretty adorable of them to make that decision since having a pet together is almost as good as having a kid together after all.
Thinking it was from your adviser, you snuck a glance towards the notifications in your homescreen. But when you see a familiar emoji plastered on the senderâs nickname, youâre quick to put it face down on the wooden desk.
Woo đâ⏠[09:35]: Good morning. Are you at the shelter today? Can I speak to you?
How he has it in him to keep texting you as if you havenât given him nothing but radio silence for the past two weeks, youâre not sure. Wonwoo mustâve sensed that something was amiss the moment you stopped replying to him altogether, but he never tried to pester you about what was wrong. Instead, he simply continued sending all those messages to check in on you despite the fact that itâs almost as if heâs talking to a wall.
Well, itâs not like you have time to entertain him now anyways.Â
âAre you sure she doesnât have a name yet?â One of your clientsâthe boyfriendâasks as he smooths down his newly adopted Maine Coonâs fur.Â
The girlfriend rolls her eyes. âYou heard the nice shelter lady, Vern. This one just wouldnât respond to any name they tried to give her.â
You agree with a half-hearted laugh, trying your best to ignore the guilt thatâs perpetually swelling in your heart the longer you ignore Wonwooâs pleas. âYup. Our director said sheâs got a bit of an attitude, but I think she just has high standards.â
Vern the Boyfriend makes a funny face at that. âSo youâre saying that she doesnât like the names sheâs been given so far?â
âMhmm. We tried Cupcake, Winter, Princess, and Lily, but she liked none of those. Try naming her something fancy. â
âChairman Meow?â
âVern.âÂ
âWhat? You gotta admit itâs funny, Sohee.â
Sohee the Girlfriend rolls her eyes. âYes, but itâs an overused pun now! Think of something else.â
âHmm. How aboutâŠMilana?â
âIs that because Seokmin wouldnât shut up about his trip to Milan?â
âUgh, yeah. Two months later and he still wonât stop talking aboutââ
âThe gorgonzola he had for dinner the night before he flew back to Korea. I know. You wonât stop talking about it either.â
âHey, Seokmin-hyung pays great attention to detail when it comes to food. You canât help but want it, too.â
As you observe the friendly banter between the couple, you canât help the smile that spreads across your face. You donât come across two people who complement each other as well as they do, and from the curious glint in their newly adopted catâs eyes, you think she likes being in their company as well.
âFine, letâs test it out first,â Sohee huffs before scratching behind the Maine Coonâs ears. âWeâre going to call you Milana. Does that sound good to you?â
When the cat nuzzles her hand with a pleased meow, Sohee and Vern turn to glance at each other at the same timeâtwo matching smiles plastered on their faces.
God. You can only wish to have what they do.
Once the rest of the documents have been finalized, you and Minaâwho just got back from updating the vaccination records for all the animals in the shelterâsee your most recent clients off. Vern the Boyfriend, Sohee the Girlfriend, and Milana the Child are off to the streets to start the next chapter of their lives or whatever.
When the door to the front entrance clicks shut, you let out the longest, deepest sigh known to mankind. Your coworker stifles a laugh.
âLooks like someoneâs jealous,â Mina comments.Â
You whine. âHow could I not be jealous of that? Theyâre so in love, itâs sickening. They even got a kid together!âÂ
âYou know, you could easily have that too if you just stopped avoidingââ
âOh, look at the time!â You interrupt her a little too theatrically, stomping off to the direction of the break room. âGotta go meet my thesis adviser. Kino and the other volunteers should show up in the next hour, though!â
You donât catch the frustrated look on Minaâs face as you make a hasty retreat, but it doesnât make you any less guilty about trying to skirt around the topic every chance you get. Minaâs always had your back during these past two weeks. Though you never told her why youâre avoiding your not-so-quote-unquote crush like the plague, sheâd always come up with excuses and alibis to throw him off your trail.Â
Which, coincidentally, happens again just as youâre changing out of your uniform.
âI donât suppose youâre looking for a sibling for Hani?â you hear Mina sigh from outside.
The person sheâs talking to laughs softly. âNo. I think you know why Iâm here again.â
God. That fucking voice.
âWell, again, sheâs not here,â your coworker bluffs. âAnd uh, word of advice, I get that youâre hot shit and all, but if you keep trying to bother my friend who, for some reason, doesnât want anything to do with you, I might have to call the authorities.â
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second.
Thatâs a little too different from the typical âoh Iâm sure sheâll come around one of these daysâ spiel that Mina always feeds to Wonwoo every time he visits. Sure, youâre not yet ready to face him yet after everything thatâs happened, but itâs not like you want him thrown in jailâ
âUh, right. I get it,â he says awkwardly, clearing his throat in the process. âItâs just that she hasnât spoken to me in days and Iâm a little worriedââ
âThatâs clearly a sign for you to back off, buddy.â You can almost see Mina with her arms crossed, rolling her eyes. âIâve been keeping myself from saying anything about it, but Iâve always found it strange how often you visit a goddamn animal shelter. And now that sheâs clearly avoiding you, youâre still trying to corner her? Are you a stalker or something?â
Fuck. This isnât how the conversation is supposed to go!Â
Minaâs job is to just politely drive Wonwoo away so you can slip out of the building without having to talk to him. But your coworker mustâve misinterpreted your persistent reluctance to meet him as genuine fear andâŠwhile youâre glad you have a friend who looks out for you like that, sheâs going about all of this the wrong way!
Wonwoo doesnât speak for a long time and your heart squeezes at the notion that heâs been called all those harsh words when all he wanted to do was talk to you. You didnât even give him any reasons as to why you suddenly decided to cut him off. But instead of marching out there to face him and clear the air yourselfâŠ
You stay hidden in the break room like a fucking coward.
âI understand why youâd assume that, but I donât have any ill intentionsââ
âThat's exactly what a guy with ill intentions would say,â Mina scoffs. âDo both of us a favor and just leave, yeah? And stop trying to contact her when she obviously wants nothing to do with you anymore.â
The silence hangs thick from outside and despite being in the break room, you swear you can almost choke on it yourself.Â
Youâre not sure what expression Wonwoo is wearing. Actually, you donât even know him well enough to know those kinds of things. The most youâve seen of his face was during that quiet night you spent together two weeks ago and youâve severed contact with him all because of something that he probably could have explained if only you gave him the chance to.
âOkay,â he whispers so softly, you almost donât catch it. âThanks for your time.â
Fortunately, Mina doesnât try to add any more fuel to the fire. All you hear is the sound of retreating footsteps and the sound of the front door clicking shut.Â
Itâs only when your coworker pokes her head inside the break room that you realize youâve been holding your breath.
âHeâs gone now,â she murmurs with a comforting smile. âAnd if he doesnât stop bothering you even after that, Iâll raise the complaint to the director himself. Iâm sure he can pull some legal strings to keep that guy out of the area for good.â
You find it kind of ironic that a few minutes ago, Mina was teasing you about him and now things have escalated into restraining order territory. But you canât really blame her for it.
Especially when youâve done nothing to clear up the misunderstanding.
âRight. Thanks, Mina.â You manage a thin smile, fingers absentmindedly drifting to the black cat enamel you still pinned to your uniformâs chest pocket.
âI really appreciate it.â
Haewon đȘ· [10:30]: Unnie hiii
Haewon đȘ· [10:33]: Can you call me as soon as you read this? Xoxo
You get to check Haewonâs message three hours late because finally, finally youâve managed to defend your thesis after innumerable sleepless nights and neverending changes to your manuscript draft. Your panelists and advisers had nothing but praises to sing about your workâeven going as far as to promise that your paper will definitely be published in the next volume of the academic journal youâd been secretly hoping itâll get selected for.Â
Itâs still surreal that the only thing youâve got left on your university to-do list is to attend the commencement rites scheduled in three weeksâ time. Four grueling years have really just gone by in a flash.Â
After enjoying one of your last lunch breaks in the quad with some old classmates whoâve also conquered the figurative beast that is their undergrad thesis, you excuse yourself for a while to give your little sister a ring. Haewon picks up on the second ring.Â
âAbout time you called,â she huffs. âI thought you were sleeping in the day again.â
You shake your head with a laugh despite the fact that she canât see the gesture. âNo more sleeping in the day for me âcause Iâm graduating.â
Haewon gaspsâloud enough to create static across the line. âReally? Oh my god. Thatâs good news then! Mom and dad were actually getting worried about you, you know? Youâve been throwing yourself into that stupid thesis of yours for a month now.âÂ
It takes a while for you to formulate a response, something akin to guilt creeping into your heart at the prospect of worrying your parents sick. But then again, whatâs done is done. You can catch up on the several hours of sleep and countless brain cells youâve lost trying to make your final manuscript actually make sense.
âItâs all good now,â you reassure. âAll you guys have to do now is fly over to Seoul for my graduation and I can pack my bags and go back to the countryside as soon as I can.âÂ
You half-expect Haewon to laugh off your haste to travel back to your hometown and say something about how youâre better off in the city than this old dump.Â
But youâre met with silence instead.
âUm,â she starts nervously after a few moments. âI know most of the stuff thatâs been stressing you out is gone now, but⊠Are you sure youâre okay?â
The question makes you swallow thickly. âOf course. Why wouldnât I be?â
âUnnie, Iâm your sister,â Haewon says a-matter-of-factly and you can almost picture her scowling at you. âWe both know youâve been acting really weird ever since the pre-recording. I couldnât pester you about it âcause I had to go back home the next day. And I didnât want to bother you while you were finishing up your thesis.
âSo now that all those obstacles are out of the way, do you mind telling me whatâs wrong?â
The sound of the other students milling around the quad rings in your ears as you process Haewonâs words. When you take a deep breath, the exhale is accompanied by defeated laughter.
Youâre an idiot to think you could ever escape your little sisterâs scrutiny.
âI know youâre going to give me shit if I say itâs nothing you should worry aboutââ
âYouâre right,â she interjects. âI will give you shit.â
ââbut it really is nothing you should worry about,â you continue anyway, toying with the hem of your sweater with a wistful sigh. âLong story short, itâsâŠboy problems. Boy problems that Iâve ignored long enough that they just went away all on their own.â
At the other line, Haewon makes a strangled noise as if thatâs not the answer she was expecting. âCome again?â
âYeah, Hae. Your big sister actually has boy problems,â you chortle. âWeird, right?â
âYes and you didnât even bother telling me about it at all?!â She crows angrily. âYou have to give me the gist or Iâm hanging up and booking the next flight to Seoul.âÂ
For a moment, you hesitate and give yourself a moment to think about what you can and canât tell Haewon over a phone call when sheâs a whole plane ride away from you.Â
She absolutely cannot know that the boy in question is Wonwoo. Youâll probably spend more time trying to convince her that what youâre saying is true than avoiding a pity party. So instead, you tell her:
âWell, this boy and I hadâŠsomething good going for us, I think. I like him, you knowâreally, really like him. But then one day, I found out that heâs been keeping this important thing about himself from me.â A sigh. âLike, I know some stuff is none of my business, but itâs so easy for him to let others know about thatâŠthat thing, yet somehow he never bothered to tell me. I couldnât help but feel like he didnât trust me enough.â
Surprisingly, Haewon lets out a hum of understanding. âYeah, thatâs kind of a dick move on his part. Did you confront him about it?â
You find yourself tongue-tied for a momentâa bit embarrassed to admit to your little sister that you chose the cowardâs way out of this.Â
âUm, thatâs the thing. I kind of ghosted him when I found out,â you tell her sheepishly. âI donât think he knows the reason why I suddenly just dipped to this day. Havenât spoken to him inâŠtwo months.âÂ
âUh-huh. So all this time, youâve been burying your guilt in schoolwork. Is that it?â
The straightforward tone catches you off guard for a second. âThatâs notââ
âUnnie,â Haewon calls out firmly, making you close your mouth. âAgain, Iâm your sister. I know things about you that others donâtâthings that you donât either, probably. And trust me when I say this, but you are not the confrontational type. Donât worry though because itâs perfectly fine to avoid the things you donât want to deal with. Especially if youâre dealing with a person thatâs more trouble than theyâre worth.
âButâŠyou said that you really, really like him. Present tense.â She pauses briefly, as if letting you digest what sheâs saying a little better. âIf the circumstances were even slightly different, I wouldâve cheered you on for ghosting someone who hasnât been one hundred percent honest with you because, duh? Deserved. But from the way youâve been coping with what happened, I canât help but think that avoiding him like this isnât what you wanted to do at all.âÂ
Haewonâs words flow from the speaker and lance straight through your heart, and you start to wonder when she started sounding so reliable. Youâre used to looking out for her even with the distance separating you. But ironically, itâs in your last year of college that your sister effortlessly dissected the dilemma thatâs been plaguing you for weeks.
âLook, I think youâll feel much better about all this if you just talk to him,â she continues when you donât utter a word in response. âNot that Iâm siding with some semi-lying jerk, but maybe he had his reasons for hidingâŠwhatever he was hiding from you? If he gives you a bullshit excuse, then at least the ghosting will finally be justified, right?â
Her frankness makes you snort. âI guess.â
âGood. Now hang up and call him now.â
â...What?âÂ
âYou heard me.â
âHaewon, I canât just call him out of nowhere after ignoring him for so long.â
âPfft. Of course you can! If he doesnât answer, then that still justifies the ghosting because he obviously doesnât want you enough. Men like that donât deserve you, unnie.â
â...Fine. Point taken.â
You end the call after Haewon makes you swear to keep her posted about the situation and your love life in general from now on. Sighing, you reluctantly scroll through your messaging appâfinding a conversation thatâs long been buried by more recent texts from other people after he sent his final messages to you.
Woo đâ⏠[02:35]: Itâs been three weeks since you last replied. Hope youâre doing okay.Â
Woo đâ⏠[02:36]: Mina told me that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore but I really donât understand why becauseâŠarenât we good? Didnât we have something back there? Or was I just reading you wrong the whole time?
Woo đâ⏠[02:55]: Either way, she was right about one thing at least. Iâve probably made you uncomfortable with my texts. Kind of pathetic now that I think about it.Â
Woo đâ⏠[03:01]: Iâm sorry for constantly bothering you like this. Itâs just thatâŠI want to know what went wrong.
Woo đâ⏠[03:05]: Itâs getting harder for me to sleep at night knowing I fucked up something that couldâve been the start of something nice. I was already planning our first date, you know?
Woo đâ⏠[03:10]: Fuck. Now it just sounds like Iâm gaslighting haha.
Woo đâ⏠[03:17]: Maybe I am. Maybe Iâm not. I donât even know anymore.
Woo đâ⏠[04:25]: What I do know is that I miss you. So much.
Woo đâ⏠[10:05]: Uh. Sorry about all of that. I had a few drinks andâŠyou know how it goes.
Woo đâ⏠[10:12]: Iâll stop texting you for real now.Â
Woo đâ⏠[10:15]: I hope your studies go well. Thank you for being part of my life, no matter how short our time together was.
Fuck.Â
This is going to be much more difficult than you thought.
You donât really blame yourself when it takes you a few days to decide whether or not you should call Wonwoo. The choice has been weighing on you like a cloud above your head and you had to decline several invites to go out from your friends because you simply cannot sit still, knowing that you have to do something aboutâŠwhateverâs going on with the two of you.
Part of you insists on just leaving it as it is. Wonwoo is an idol thatâs almost a decade into his career and youâre much too certain that heâs met enough people in his life to deem the loss of your company specifically a big deal. He has his members, his fans, and anything else a person could ever want.
So what if some college senior he doesnât even know that well just ghosted him out of nowhere?
But even with that logic, you still end up holding your breath before pressing the call button one Tuesday afternoon.Â
There are a total of five attempts made and all five lead you straight to voicemailâeach instance making your heart grow heavier and heavier once the prerecorded message comes to an end. You secretly fear that he mustâve blocked your number altogether. Why wouldnât he after youâve wasted his time as much as you did?
Others wouldâve considered this as a sign to just give up. The universe is basically telling you that the brief time you shared together would yield nothing more. Wonwoo has his own career to worry about and as do you, now that youâre finally going to be ejected from university and into the life of an unemployed fresh grad. Youâre better off not chasing after the things youâve purposely run away from in the first place.
So why on earth are you looking up the exact address of his company building, making the long commute for the slim chance of running into him against all odds?
The security around the area might look lax but you can spot the assortment of security guards stationed both inside and outside of the company building pretty easily. Given the nature of the business theyâre running, it would make sense that theyâd put up all possible countermeasures against people who might try to inconvenience their artists in any way.
Not wanting to be branded as a crazed fan, you decide to keep your distanceâpurposely lingering outside the shopping center just across the street as you brainstorm how exactly youâre going to meet up with Wonwoo.Â
But as the minutes ticked past, your sense of reason is starting to overpower your desire to clear things up with him. For one, you donât even know what his schedule looks like. How can you be so sure that heâll even be there today? Worse, would Wonwoo even want to speak with you after everything? Despite having kept the fact that heâs an idol a secret to you all this time, he has all the right to refuse speaking with you when you never even gave him a chance to explain himself.
The noise of the busy district fades in the background as your eyes fall to Wonwooâs final text message. You havenât even thought of texting him since you considered reaching out. But with the fact that your earlier phone calls didnât go through, you donât think you can bear seeing your apologetic messages get denied in the very real chance that heâs blacklisted your number altogether.
God. You feel so pathetic.
âHey, itâs you!â
You immediately blanche at the feeling of someone placing a hand on your shoulderâturning around to see who it is only to be met with the sight of two familiar faces.
âOh,â you voice out somewhat dumbly. âMissâŠSohee? And Vern?â
The couple who adopted a cat from the shelter flashes you pretty smiles, the two of them carrying grocery bags in each arm. Sohee perks up when you recognize them. âYup! I didnât expect to see the nice shelter lady around these parts. What brings you here?â
âJustâŠstuff.â The laugh you spare them is a little too forced, but if they notice, they donât comment on it. âHow about you guys? How has Milana been?â
âFeels right at home in either of our apartments,â Vern chuckles. âYou were right about her having high standards. We always end up doing our grocery shopping here instead of the supermarket near my place âcause Lana refuses to eat any of the cheap cat food being sold there.â
Sohee sighs in agreement. âMhmm. You wouldnât even think she was a rescue with how high maintenance she is, but weâre idiots that dote on her all the time. Itâs just a good thing we work right across the street from here.â
Feeling endeared with how much they spoil their new child aside, the latter part of Soheeâs statement catches your attention for a moment. âSorry? You work right across the street?â
The moment the words leave your lips, the charming smiles on their faces falter before the couple before you share a look. A brief moment of telepathic communication mustâve occurred between the both of them, as if wordlessly discussing whether they should respond, but in the end Sohee relents.
âYeah. Vern and I work at HYBE,â she chuckles. âIâm actually surprised you donât recognize him, since heâsââ
âA very loyal employee that the nice shelter lady canât possibly recognize,â Vern interjects with a cough into his fist and the immediate reaction makes it easier to put two and two together.
Heâs an idol. One hundred percent an idol.
Deciding to play along, you offer up a nod in understanding. âI see. Guess you guys are heading back for the day?â
âYep. We had one of the other membersâuh, I mean, one of our friends look after Milana while we had our grocery run,â Vern explains not-so-smoothly.
âAs much as weâd like to stay and chat for a while longer, our baby kind of needs us,â Sohee tells you with an apologetic look. âI hope things at the shelter are running smoothly! Weâve seen how dedicated you guys are to taking care of those poor animals.â
You nod. âOf course. Iâll see you guys around?â
âAnytime!â
You and the beautiful couple exchange quaint bows in farewell before the two of them start walking away. But with each footstep that they take further and further away from you, the itch to run after them and ask what youâve been dying to when they said they both worked at HYBE grows all the more unbearable.
Cut it out, you mentally hiss at yourself. You canât bother other people about your issues with Wonwoo. Thatâs just a whole new low.Â
You shouldâve just gone the opposite direction when the conversation ended. You shouldâve just directed yourself to the nearest bus stop back to your apartmentâburied all of this in the past where it belongs.
But itâs as if your body has a mind of its own. The next thing you know, youâre sprinting towards Sohee and Vern before they could cross the next intersectionâsurprising the couple with your sudden re-entry.
âDid you need something?â Sohee asks, accommodating and confused all at once.
Now or never.
âYes, actually,â you dole out breathlessly, pursing your lips before adding:
âDo you guys know where Wonwoo is?â
Out of all the ways you thought this day could turn out, you never wouldâve imagined being in the backseat of one of HYBEâs music producersâbreezing through the cityâs freeway as she interrogates you about just how exactly you know Jeon Wonwoo.
âSo youâre the reason heâs being so off lately,â Sohee chuckles before switching lanes. âWonwooâs always been the quiet type, but sometimes you can just tell when thereâs a lot on his mind. Isnât that right, Vernon?â
Vernon, who you come to realize is part of the same group as Wonwoo, glances at you from the rearview mirror with a shake of his head. âI can vouch. Wonwoo-hyungâs been working on sharing stuff with us, but of course thereâs still some things heâd like to keep to himself.â
I also donât want to be closed off from others anymore. Back then, I mostly just kept everything to myselfâbottling it all up until it was just unbearable.
Great. Now you feel twice as horrible.
âHonestly, I was kind of scared that you guys would think Iâm a sasaeng,â you admit with a dry laugh before settling further into the carâs plush upholstery.Â
âWhile we have no reason not to think that with all the weirdos popping up these days,â Sohee starts before her lips curve into a smile, âit just so happens that Soonyoung also canât keep his mouth shut about Wonwooâs little crush.â
That makes your face heat up a little. âSoonyoung likeâŠWonwooâs friend?â
âYou might know him better as Hoshi,â Vernon explains.Â
Hoshi, Hoshi, HoshiâŠ
You snap your fingers once you figure it out. âYeah. Heâs my sisterâs bias wrecker.â
âNow we learn that your sister is a fan, too? Huh. Small world.â
âAnyway,â Sohee interjects. âThe reason why we believed your explanation was because Soonyoung described Wonwooâs crush as an animal lover. Heâs not so much of a blabbermouth that he gave us more details aside from that, but Vernon here told me about how Wonwoo always comes late to their unit meetings because he keeps making all these detours first.â
Vernon stifles a laugh. âI actually found out about the shelter because Coups-hyung insisted that we follow him around to figure out where heâs been going. It didnât occur to me at the time that his animal lover crush and the nice shelter lady could be the same person.â
At this point, you can honestly get used to being called a nice shelter lady. But that aside, you canât help but flush even further at all the things being revealed to you right now.Â
ItâsâŠa lot to unpack.Â
First, Wonwoo has a crush on you? A complete nobody? Then again, from how often heâs been seeking you out before things went to shit, you could infer that heâs at least a little bit interested from how he kept going out of his way to see you. Heâs even late to meetings because of his little visits. This so-called crush was quite obvious, you just donât like how flustered hearing it out loud makes you feel.
âBut then Wonwoo-hyung just started showing up on time to our meetings during our comeback promotions,â Vernon continues. âWe were glad we didnât have to keep waiting for him to start, butâŠwe also noticed that heâs been kind of down lately. The first time it happened, I assumed it was just an off day for him, though now that we met you like this, thatâs definitely not the case.â
Wonwooâs been feeling down? Because of you?
If the roles were reversed, you can say that youâd feel the same if he just stopped talking to you when you thought you were already growing closer. It doesnât help that the last time you were together, you shared far too many kisses that mere friends should indulge each other with.Â
You sigh, leaning your head against the headrest.
Youâre such an idiot. A selfish, inconsiderateâ
âWell, here we are.â
When the car pulls over, you donât even realize that Sohee already left the freeway and drove into one of the roads overlooking the Han River. You can barely keep yourself from choking on your own breath when you spot a very familiar motorcycle parked in front of the vehicle. It doesnât help that Sohee pulled over a certain spot underneath the elevated highway that youâre very much certain youâve already been to once before.
âHyung doesnât know that we know about this place. He never brings anyone else here,â Vernon informs you with a small smile. âFrom the look on your face, we can assume that heâs already brought you here though, right?â
You canât even deny it at this point. âYeahâŠâ
Sohee moves to unlock the doors before glancing behind the driverâs seat with an encouraging look. âWell, how about you clear things upso we can start going on double dates and stuff.â
âSohee,â her boyfriend groans.
âWhat? I think itâd be a great idea.â She pouts. âWe can even rope Nari and Mingyu into tagging along. Then itâll be a triple date.â
âWhat she means to say is,â Vernon cuts in before Sohee can get another word out. âNo pressure. You go sort out the stuff you need to with Wonwoo-hyung. Iâm sure the two of you can make the best decision for each other once you get to talk properly.â
The best decision, huhâŠ
Your new friends watch you with wordless encouragement as you open the door to your left, letting out a long-winded breath so you wouldnât be too psyched out by the circumstances. You thank them both with a subtle nod as you gather enough courage to see the person youâve been longing to meet again for a while now.
Now or never, you repeat to yourself before finally stepping out of the car.
Wonwooâs thinking spot looks much different in the day than it does at night.
You had a pretty hard time navigating the short terrain from the road to the old, weathered steps of the watchtower because of the lack of proper illumination. If it werenât for Wonwoo guiding you the entire time, you wouldâve face planted into the pebbled pathway on the first few steps.Â
The sun is already setting when you make it to your destinationâred orange rays splintering through the high rise buildings on the other side of the river bank. Itâs not difficult to spot Wonwooâs tall figure leaning across the rusty railing of the watchtower, a gentle smile gracing his handsome face as he plays with the growing kitten in his arms.Â
He doesnât notice you at the foot of the concrete steps right away, too engrossed with playing with Hani to take in the rest of his surroundings. But the longer you watch them from afar, the more your chest twists with guilt.
All this time, you never really thought about how Wonwoo mustâve been faring since you ghosted him. You merely assumed that heâd still be living his best life despite what happened between the two of you. The thought that heâll still be better off without you in his life spurred you on to solely focus on the things youâve got going on your end. You didnât consider just how your actions would affect him. Not even once.Â
But now, despite having such an adorable cat to keep him company, it isnât hard to tell that heâs not in the most stellar of moods.
Itâs not like youâve seen Wonwoo smile a lot when you still knew him as Wooâno thanks to his silly little face masks. But you always liked how his eyes crinkled behind his glasses whenever you said something he finds funny or amusing. The easygoing body language he always seemed to have around you.
Thereâs none of that now.
âWonwoo.â
He visibly stiffens at the sound of someone calling his name. Cautiously, Wonwoo tucks Hani closer to his chestâglancing around for anyone who could have infiltrated his safe haven.
When his eyes land on you, you can almost hear his breath hitch from where youâre standing.
Seeing no indication that he doesnât want you here, you swallow the lump in your throat before climbing up the stairs. Each step you take is familiar yet foreign at the same time and you can hear your heart pounding in your ears the closer you get to him. The startled expression on Wonwooâs face doesnât falter even when youâre mere feet in front of him on top of the watchtowerâlike heâs having a hard time grasping your existence.
Hani, however, doesnât seem all that fazed. The black kitten mewls in delight at the sight of you, squirming around in Wonwooâs arms, which seems to snap her owner out of his stupor.
His throat bobs. âYou know my name.â
You laugh softly. âIt isnât hard to figure it out when youâre as famous as you are.â
Silence permeates the air by the riverside as Wonwoo processes the words you just told him. He sucks in a breath through his teeth, hands absentmindedly running across Haniâs fur.
âSo thatâs why,â he chuckles with a shake of his head. âI shouldâve knownâŠâ
You mirror the gesture somewhat vigorously, your throat closing up from all the things you want to say. He doesnât deserve to be left hanging all because of that stupid reason alone. He doesnât deserve those hurtful words from Mina.
Most of all, he doesnât deserve to feel this shitty all because you were too much of a coward to communicate with him.
âIâm sorry.âÂ
He startles at your apologyâobviously not expecting that to be the first thing you say to him after two months of radio silence. âW-Why are you sorry? I should beââ
âIt was unfair of me to just ghost you like that when you havenât explained yourself,â you murmur, tucking your hands behind your back as you stare down at your shoes in shame. âIâm sure you had your reasons for not telling me right away, but⊠I selfishly thought you didnât trust me enough to let me know.â
âNo,â he quickly clarifies. âItâs not like that at all. I trust youâso much.â
âI know,â you sigh. âIt took me a while, but I realized that along the way. The last time we were here, you entrusted me with the story of how you coped with losing someone. You entrusted me with your thoughts, your feelings, your secrets. And I took all that for granted because you didnât tell me you were an idol.â
Wonwoo falls silent for only a moment as if considering what words to say next. Hani seems to sense his distress, cuddling up to his chest in an attempt to soothe him. He notices what sheâs doing right away and Wonwoo scratches behind her ears with a breathless chuckle.
âIf itâs any consolation, I didnât plan on hiding it forever. I knew you would find out eventuallyâjust not as soon as you did,â he murmurs. âIt was also unfair of me to take advantage of the fact that you didnât know me as Wonwoo. ButâŠI wanted to keep my career out of the equation first because itâs nice being treated like a normal person. You never put me on a pedestal or looked at me like I was some sort of god.
âYou treated me like I was human.â
This time, youâre the one whoâs at a loss for words.Â
Having Haewon as a sister, you have this preconceived notion about idols where they have the world in the palm of their hands. You thought for the longest time that all they had to do was go up the stage to sing and dance and look beautiful and the rest will follow.Â
Hearing Wonwoo tell you this easily subverted all those assumptions.Â
Youâve never been good at telling people the things they need to hear. Thatâs Haewonâs area of expertise, not yours. So instead of offering up any words of comfort, you quickly close the distance thatâs been keeping you apart to throw your arms around his broad shoulders.
Wonwoo freezes up when you pull him into a hug and he loathes the fact that he canât even reciprocate it given that he has his hands full. Itâs kind of adorable how careful youâre being to make sure you donât accidentally squish Hani between your bodies.Â
Suddenly, all that heaviness thatâs been lingering in his heart for weeks dissipates in a flash. Wonwoo relishes in the feeling of your warmth seeping into his, resting his forehead on your shoulder as he holds back his emotions.
âCan we start over again?â you murmur. âWe still havenât had our first date, right?â
When you feel the sound of his laughter rumbling in his chest, you canât help the goosebumps that rise across your skin. âWow. I didnât expect you to forgive me that fast.â
Pulling away for a moment, you shoot him a dirty look. âJeon Wonwoo, are you saying Iâm easy?â
âNot at all.â Wonwoo grins and you can barely look at him without recoiling at how good he looks.Â
His hair has grown much longer than you remember and seeing the smile that oh-so easily hooked you in deeper than you already were, you already know that you canât ever hope to put up a fight.Â
Not when heâs so love-of-your-life-shaped.
âSince weâre at the point of catching up, Iâm actually graduating in three weeks.â
Wonwoo sharply turns to look at you with a scowl as he puts Hani in a little cat backpack he got for her. âThree weeks? Shit⊠I think weâre going to have a concert at that time.â
You wave away his concern with a smile. âI didnât mean I was expecting you to show up at the venue, doofus. Canât have any weird rumors about you going around by attending my graduation.â
âRumors about what?â he challenges.
âYou know.â
âI actually donât.â
âWe just made up ten minutes ago, Do you really want me to bail on you again?â
âHey, I just thought that if you ever want to spark some dating rumors, we can make it happen any time.âÂ
âWeâre not even dating!â
âNot yet.â
âWhat?â
âItâs just like you saidâI still owe you that first date, donât I?â
â...Have I told you that youâre insufferable?â
âIâm actually surprised you didnât start calling me that when I kept visiting the shelter too often to be considered normal.â
âThat reminds me, why were you visiting the shelter so much?â
When Wonwoo hands you Haniâs cat backpack, you take it as an invitation to hitch a ride on his motorcycle. After all, it would be uncomfortable to have it sitting between the two of you. However, he takes you completely by surprise by answering you with:
âI like you. Thatâs why.â
It takes you about five whole seconds to recover from what he just said but itâs five seconds too late because Wonwoo is already chuckling to himself as if he deserves to have the last laugh.
âYouâre lucky that I like you too,â you mumble as you carefully hop on his rideâsitting comfortably behind him while making sure Hani is strapped securely behind you. âIf I didnât, Mina wouldâve made our boss file a restraining order against you.â
Wonwoo hands you a spare helmet before putting on his own, laughing again as he clicks the lock in place. âDating rumors and stalking rumors? Being with you sounds like such a big hassle now.â
âAre we going on that first date or not?!â
Two months after graduating and four weeks into officially dating Jeon Wonwoo, you find out the real reason he was taking so damn long to make up his mind about adopting Hani.
The landlord doesnât prohibit petsâhe loves them, actually.Â
His dog, Seol, is a little shy, but she gets along with Hani just fine.
But then his old roommate, Mingyu, dropped by to visit Wonwooâs apartment one day, sneezing all over the place like itâs pollen season. Except the pollen in question is cat fur and it just so happens that he didnât bring any of his allergy meds for the trip.
âAs much as I want to cuddle on the couch catching up on the Marvel Cinematic Universe with you guys, I gotta go,â Mingyu explains while blowing his nose into a tissue. âIâll die if I spend even a second longer here.â
Wonwoo throws a piece of popcorn at him. âDidnât you say that youâre going on a date with Nari?â
âOh. That, too.â
âIf she finds out that you just remembered as an afterthought, sheâs going to kill you,â you tease while shoving a handful of your movie snacks into your mouth. âAt least, thatâs what Iâd do if Wonwoo did the same thing.â
âOh, she will. Thatâs why neither of you are going to tattle on me,â the beefy idol huffs before tossing the soiled tissue in the trash bin. âAnyway, Wonwoo-hyung, you should totally keep in touch with this pet sitter that Seungcheol-hyung discovered recently. A bunch of other artists leave their pets with her whenever they have tight schedules.â
Your boyfriend merely looks at him with an unimpressed look. âAre you saying that just so I can leave Hani there when you come over to play video games with me?â
âYes.â
Mingyu leaves shortly after receiving a phone call from his girlfriend, Nari, who sounded nothing short of furious when she asked where on earth he is and why heâs late for their date again. Wonwoo tells you that his best friend has a thing for pissing off Nari just so he has an excuse to do grand gestures for her without his girlfriend complaining about it. You tell him that he should start doing the same too.
âBy the way, youâre flying back to Jeju for a while, right?â Wonwoo asks once the credits start rolling in the film playing on his TVâthe loose grip he has around your waist tightening ever-so slightly.
You shift your weight on the couch to cuddle closer to him. âYeah. I havenât seen my parents and Haewon since I graduated. Plus, I donât have to start working until next month, so I can afford a last-minute getaway.â
He nods. âI still think itâs funny you havenât told your sister about me. Are you ashamed of me or something?â
âQuit saying weird stuff, Jeon Wonwoo,â you huff before hitting him in the chest. Damn those firm pecs. âI just want to see the look on her face when she finds out Iâm dating the person she ships with Mingyu for fun.â
âAnd I still canât believe my future sister-in-law is a Gyuldaengie.â
You try not to think about how he said Haewon is his future in-law. You really do.
Once the last of the end credits pans on-screen, the bonus scene at the end of every Marvel movie starts playing and you canât help but snort when Eddy gets snapped back to his own universe before he can even pay off his tab to the bartender. Just when youâre about to ask Wonwoo if he wants to watch the next movie, you realize heâs had his eyes on you the entire time.
âWhat?â you laugh.
âNothing,â he whispers. âI just thought you were really pretty.â
âWonwoo, you tell me that every thirty minutes. Donât you get tired of it?â
You yelp when he abruptly pulls you onto his lap, steadying you by the hips so you wouldnât accidentally topple to the floor. He flashes you a lazy grin as he traces circles along the curve of your thighs and you can barely suppress a groan when you look down at him.
He might look like some otherworldly creature every time he kills it on stage, but you love this Wonwoo just the sameâdressed down with his glasses sitting all crooked on the bridge of his nose, hair falling across his eyes.Â
âNever,â he says simply.Â
Thereâs something oddly sensual about the way he says it and at that moment, you catch on to the half-lidded look in his eyes. You gulp, gaze instinctively wandering around his apartment to look for Hani and Seol, who you spot dozing next to each other in the kitchen.Â
Now that youâre sure none of the kids are watching, you let out a defeated sigh before lacing your arms around his neck and leaning down to kiss him.
Wonwoo is a guy you caved and kissed before the first date, so itâs pretty natural for the two of you to fall into this degree of intimacy every now and again. His effect on you is especially lethal whenever you spend several days apart because of the nature of his career.Â
But even if youâre yet to cross that line with your boyfriend, the possibility of it finally coming into fruition becomes more and more real every time his hot tongue slides against yours.Â
âWonâŠwooââ you gasp when you feel his cold fingers sneak up your shirt, hands firmly grabbing your waist to keep you in place.Â
Your boyfriend chuckles and the low vibrations that come from his chest shoot straight to your core. âI know tonight was supposed to be movie night, but youâre making it really hard to keep my hands off of you.âÂ
âThatâs what you say all the time,â you groan as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and tugs. Fuck. âAlways blaming me for your lack of self-control.â
âI canât help it when youâre so fucking beautiful,â he murmurs against your lips before tugging you back down for another heated kiss.
Youâve fooled around with Wonwoo a handful of times and during said times, youâve gotten an idea of howâŠinto it he gets when pleasuring you. Itâs almost as if he delights in seeing you come undone for him even if itâs just with his mouth and fingers.Â
Itâs during those moments that you canât help but imagine how he would be once the two of you finally take things all the way. But for all your teasing about how he has questionable self-control, Wonwoo has done nothing but respect the boundaries youâve clearly set when you started dating.Â
âFuck,â he rasps when he pulls away briefly, resting his head against the cushions of the sofa as he closes his eyes. âBaby, weâve gotta stop or else I might just cave and fuck you.â
You simper. âYouâre the one who started this.â
âYeah, and thatâs why Iâm putting a stop to it before I end up doing something you donât like!â
You shift around on his lap for a moment and Wonwoo is convinced that youâll give him some reprieve and get off of him before he loses his mind. But then he realizes youâre grinding your hips against the hard-on heâs sporting in his sweats.Â
Chuckling to yourself, you pull him by the front of his shirtâpressing a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before leaning into his ear to whisper:
âWhat if I want you to fuck me, Woo?â
The deep growl that resonates in his throat sounds so fucking hot, you can feel a gush of slick surge between your thighs. He doesnât say a wordâmerely opting to keep his hard stare on yours as he wraps your legs around his waist. You immediately get the gist and hold on tight to him as he carries you out of the living room and into his bedroom.
âIâm giving you a chance to back out again, sweetheart,â he sighs as he kicks the door shut behind him. âThink you can handle it when I get serious about fucking you until you canât walk?â
The mental image he conjures in your head has you mewling in his arms, prompting you to pepper his neck with sloppy kisses as he gropes your ass like itâs always belonged to him.Â
âThink you can actually make good on that though?â you challenge with a soft chuckle, grazing your teeth just below his collarbone. You wonât biteâknowing that his stylists will give him hell for it if he shows up to work with hickeys. âWe both know you like to talk big sometimes.â
Wonwoo breathes out a condescending chuckle before gently easing you on top of the mattress. You didnât think it was possible, but you swear you get even wetter when he takes off his glasses and licks his lips at the sight of you.
âOh, baby, youâre in for a fucking ride.â
Thatâs how you find yourself with your back pressed against Wonwooâs insanely sculpted chestâboth your mouth and pussy stuffed with his thick fingers as he works you open enough to take his cock. He slides those thick digits in and out of your wet channel, making sure you get used to the stretch all while he muffles your noises at the same time.Â
Normally, he likes hearing you get whiney and desperate for him, but thereâs a charm to seeing you slobber all over his fingers as you clench up around the ones buried in your pussy.Â
âFuck, baby. So goddamn tight for me,â he whispers huskily in your ear and the sound of his rough voice layered with the lewd squelch of your cunt makes your insides tingle. âBeen thinking about having this pretty pussy all to myself for a while now. You gonna let me have it now, baby? Let me wreck you on my cock?â
Wonwoo easily has the hottest voice youâve ever heard in your entire life. While you often think about how you can fall asleep happily just listening to him talk about anything under the sun, itâs an entirely different story when heâs spouting all this filth into your ear as he prepares you for an overdue dicking down.Â
âYes, pleaseââ You sob pathetically when he takes his fingers out of your mouth, curling your arm behind you so you can blindly grab his hair and mend your lips into a messy kiss. âWonwoo, I need you so bad.â
âDesperate little thing,â your boyfriend chuckles before withdrawing his fingers from your needy hole. The loss has you writhing in his lap, one hand shooting out to keep him where you want him but Wonwoo coos into your ear as if to pacify you. âShhh, baby, I need you to come first before I fuck you. Youâll be good for me and let me make you come, right?âÂ
Shit. Who are you to refuse when he propositions you like that?
âI need an answer, sweetheart.â
âIâll be good,â you gasp almost immediately as your boyfriend starts parting your pussy lips with the hand that was muffling your cute noises. âIâll be so good for you, please justââ
âJust what, baby?â Wonwoo teases and you nearly cry.
âM-Make me come on your fingersâŠâ
He hums, slick fingers gliding along your slit. âNot if you donât sayââ
âPlease,â you whimper before grinding your pussy against his hand. âWonwoo, I wanna come. Wanna come so bad. Want you to stuff me full of your cock. Want you toââÂ
Itâs almost like he tapped in on every single nerve ending in your body when his dexterous fingers find your clitârubbing the puffy bud in fast, tight circles as you start twitching in his arms. Wonwoo lets out another evil laugh as he forcibly pries your legs apart. The firmness of his grip leaves you no choice but to thrash around as he builds your orgasm from the ground up, trailing wet kisses along the column of your throat as he teases an orgasm out of you with the sound of his voice coupled with his sinful ministrations.
âSo wet and ready for me. Have you thought about taking me inside this sweet little pussy? Do you think you can even fit me when youâre this tight?â he breathes into your ear and you donât even have the dignity to bite down your moans anymore. âYouâre so close, sweetheart. Let yourself go and Iâll give you what you want. Iâll blow your pretty back out over and over until youâre sick of me.â
Never, you want to tell him. Iâll never get sick of you, stupid Wonwoo.
Funnily enough, that silent jab at him is quickly followed by a mind-numbing release. It washes over you like a storm surging into a calm shoreâoverloading every cell in your body with pleasure until the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a broken rendition of your loverâs name.Â
Wonwoo talks you through your high because he knows youâve got a thing for his voice. Knows just how much tighter you get when he whispers filthy words with a sultry sweet tone.Â
And when he growls, âGood fucking girl,â into your ear, youâre convinced he just made you come again while still riding the waves of your first orgasm.Â
For all his vigor, Wonwoo is surprisingly patient with you as you recover from what he just put you through. He plants brief kisses all over your neck and face until your breathing finally evens out and you stop seeing stars in the seams of your vision. Your boyfriend offers up a gentle smile when you finally come toâleaning in to kiss your nose.
âYou still want more?â he whispers, exercising enough restraint to be revered despite the fact that you can feel his hard, leaking cock pressed against the small of your back.Â
A soft, somewhat weak laugh makes its way past your lips as you turn around to peck his lips. Wonwoo smiles against your mouth and you canât help but do the same.
Then, you issue another challenge.
âDo your worst.â
Youâre grateful now more than ever that Wonwoo is the easiest person to talk to in the entire world. You can practically count the things that he wouldnât want to discuss with you on one hand alone.Â
In other words, youâve already had the necessary conversations about sex, should you ever have it with him in the future (A.K.A., right now). Wonwoo knows youâve been on birth control ever since you moved to Seoul all those years ago. He knows that you get yourself tested at least once every month if you can and assures you that he does the same.
On the other hand, youâre well aware that your boyfriend has a thing for coming inside, and now that youâve gone this far with him, youâll gladly let Wonwoo make his fantasies a reality.Â
He only agreed to it once you promised to tell him whenever you feel like heâs going too far or if heâs doing something you donât like. You swear you wouldâve married him on the spot, if it werenât for that tiny voice in your head that suspiciously sounds like Haewon telling you off for losing it over a man whoâs doing the bare minimum.
With those measures in place, you feel safe enough to let Wonwoo press your face down onto the mattress as his free hand grips your assâfucking into your tight cunt as he tries (and fails) to keep himself from being too rough with you.Â
He really, really wanted to be gentle, considering itâs your first time to lie together like this. But your unfiltered reactions do nothing but test both his patience and self-control in more ways than one. All his plans on making love to you in good old missionary have been tossed out of the window now that youâve given him the green light to actually fuck you until you canât walk.
âWonwoo,â you moan, fists curling into the sheets as he cants his hips deeper and deeperâthe head of his cock hitting spots your own fingers could never hope to reach. âS-So fucking goodâŠâ
âYeah?â he breathes raspily before leaning down to press his chest against your back, wanting to engulf you in the heat of his body until itâs all youâll ever know. âMy pretty baby loves my cock that much? You want me to fuck you all the time now?â
âUh huh.â You nod before letting out a high pitched keen when he amps up the speed of his thrustsâslamming his hips harder against your ass.
Wonwoo thinks he could really get used to the sight of your pretty pussy sucking him in like this. Youâre so greedyâclamping down on him as tightly as you do as you moan his name like itâs the only word in your vocabulary. But how could you not when each vein that runs along the underside of his perfect cock drags so deliciously across your velvet walls? When his ballsâhot and heavy and full of enough cum to fill you to the brimâkeep clapping against your pussy with each powerful thrust?
Itâs the first time that you got to get a taste of what your boyfriend is capable of in bed and you can only imagine every instance that will follow once allâs said and done.
When he feels your walls start to spasm around his length every now and again, Wonwoo presses a sloppy kiss across the cut of your jawâa hand sliding between your thighs so he can find that little bundle of nerves that made you fall apart only several minutes ago. Your reaction is immediateâcrying and squirming below him even when youâre helpless against his massive frame pressing you down into the bed.Â
âIâm so close, baby,â he groans into your ear, holding out for as long as he can just so he can feel the sensation of you coming around his cock. âYouâre almost there, too, arenât you? My good girlâtaking my dick like itâs always been yours. Can you come with me? You can do that for me, right, sweetheart?â
The fondness in his voice strings you even further apart and youâre nothing but a mess of pleasure and delirium as Wonwoo continues his assault on your poor, abused clit. He knows just the right amount of pressure to use and manages to time his thrusts with each delicious pass on that oversensitive bud. Â
Itâs all over before you know it.Â
You let out a long-winded moan that will definitely earn him a couple of noise complaints from the neighbors but Wonwoo doesnât have it in him to fucking care at the moment. Not when your walls are clamping down so tightly around his cockâmaking each stroke all the more tantalizing as your pussy milks him for everything heâs got to give you.Â
You mindlessly babble a string of I love yous against the sheets, a trail of drool dripping onto the mattress as Wonwoo fucks into you with heightened ferocity. He catches every single word you say and he tilts your head to the side so he can kiss you. Your boyfriend forces your tongue into a dance with his own until his hips stutter and stopâwhite hot emission surging into your cunt in thick spurts that he hopes would stay inside you for days if he can help himself.
Youâre a messâface painted with a fucked out expression as your pussy leaks with a mixture of yours and Wonwooâs cum. The mere sight of it is almost enough to make him hard again, but he tells himself that he can take you up on marathon sex next time.
For now, he just wants to clean you up and tuck you back into bed.
âWoo?â
He turns to face you with a questioning look. Your boyfriend just finished with your mandatory aftercare session and is in the middle of making the bed comfortable enough for some post-sex cuddles. âHmm?â
âYouâre still free next week right?â you ask, drawing silly shapes on his chest with your finger once he finally lays down next to you.
âYeah. I donât have any major schedules untilâŠâ He pauses before conjuring up an imaginary calendar in his mind. âNext month. Why?â
Despite all the debauchery youâve subjected each other to in a single night, your face still flushes as you consider what youâre about to ask him. Wonwoo smiles at that. Cute.
âHow do you feel about flying to Jeju with me so I can introduce you to my family?â you ask shyly, gulping with a nervous laugh. âI totally get it if your management wonât allow it though. Itâs hard to keep the media off your back when youâre so famous andââ
He doesnât do this often, but Wonwoo shuts you up with a firm kiss.
âWhat are you talking about?â he murmurs, caressing your face tenderly. âOf course I want to meet them.â
When your eyes light up at his confirmation, Wonwoo swears that he couldnât be more in love.
Me [11:23]: hae, iâve got good news~
Haewon đȘ· [11:24]: Youâre bringing Mingyu with you to Jeju so we can get married?
Me [11:26]: very funny
Me [11:26]: not to spoil your delusions or anything but iâm bringing my boyfriend
Haewon đȘ· [11:30]: OmgâŠÂ
Haewon đȘ· [11:30]: Rudeness aside, is it the same guy from before?Â
Me [11:31]: yep
 Haewon đȘ· [11:32]: AAAAAAAAA
 Haewon đȘ· [11:32]: I canât wait to meet him!
 Haewon đȘ· [11:34]: He better be treating you right or Iâll drop kick him off Jusangjeollidae
Me [11:40]: youâve already met him though~
Haewon đȘ· [11:41]: ?
Haewon đȘ· [11:45]: Unnie, what do you meanâŠ
Haewon đȘ· [12:32]: Hey!!!!
âą end notes: if you've made it til the end, congrats! this is the last of the doting on you! series (for now~) and i really hope you enjoyed reading through it as much as i enjoyed writing it!! special thanks to all the friends that read through this for me T T i wouldn't have done it without any of you ueueue and to everyone that has been patiently waiting for me to put up the last installment for the series, thank you for waiting <3 i hope you guys continue to support me with my future work as well!
this is part of the doting on you! series.
gamers do it better | c.sc x j.ww
⥠pairing: choi seungcheol x jeon wonwoo x female!reader ⥠genre: smut ⥠w.c.: 2k ⥠this fic contains: messy gamers wonwoo and cheol, mention of mutual pining/longing over years, cockwarming, blowjob, mentions of fucking/multiple rounds, degradation (whore, slut), praise, and probably other stuff I've missed ⥠a/n: the brainrot is real...anyways enjoy! thank you to @idyllic-ghost for proof reading and giving tips on how to be More Feral <3
reblogs and feedback are much appreciated!
Living with two men had seemed like a great idea initially until you moved in with them. You were constantly cleaning up after them, making sure they ate proper meals besides drinking energy drinks, and scolding them to go outside for just 10 minutes a day to enjoy the warmth of the sun.
You had lived with Seungcheol and Wonwoo for a number of years. At first, it was because you all took the same Biology class together in college and it was convenient for you to commute together at the same time, but even after your classes finished, you found yourself emotionally attached to these men and couldn't bear to part with them, and the feeling was mutual.
The last 12 months or so had beenâŠmore challenging than the last few years. There had been some longing glances from the two men, especially if you had walked around the apartment in just a sports bra and spandex shorts. The occasional graze or touch over your exposed skin had also been noted, and made your heart rate quicken, but nothing had ever been initiated.
Many nights you went into your room and your hands wandered to lower places while thinking about how theyâd treat you, how theyâd bend you into a pretzel and fill you with cum. But it all dissipated when you went back out to the kitchen and found plates and food littering the kitchen bench. Typical men.
It was a warm summer evening, the sun still peaking over the horizon and bathing your kitchen and living area in a golden glow that took your breath away. As you stood over the stove, contemplating your life choices over the bubbling water with noodles, you hear a sudden shout coming from one of your roommate's rooms, sparking interest.
Normally, Wonwoo is a very quiet and reserved person. He makes small talk with you if you eat a meal together, but apart from that remains either in his room gaming or leaves home before you wake and comes back after you fall asleep. Even still, he pays the bills on time and is extremely good-looking, so you canât ask for more than that.
Turning the stove off, you place the wooden spoon down and pad to Wonwooâs room, the door closed as per usual. You rap on the door quickly, and a small mumble of a âcome inâ can be heard from inside, so you turn the handle and squint against the bright light emitting from his screen computer.
âAre you okay? I heard you scream.â
âOh, Iâm fine, that was Seungcheol who screamed because heâs a little bitch.â
Your eyes drift across to the fluffy-haired man sitting next to him, who's staring at Wonwoo, shocked. He shoves Wonwooâs shoulder and rolls his eyes, before turning around to face you with an unimpressed look on his stunning features. Seungcheol was stunning in his own way; fluffy black locks heâd permed a few weeks ago, bare-faced and the sweetest smile around.
âI am not a little bitch! He purposefully gave me a jumpscare!â He pouts as you chuckle and Wonwoo follows suit, only for him to immediately switch up and jump from his spot on the bed, stalking towards you until youâve stepped back as far as you can go, aka hitting the wall with your back.
âYou think itâs funny?â
âI-â Your justification is cut off by Seungcheol dragging his fingers up your exposed arm, goosebumps raising in their path. You can feel your heart pounding against your ribcage as he places a hand next to your head, and your palms grow sweaty. He grins and beckons Wonwoo to come over, whoâs been watching the interaction intently ever since Seungcheol had backed you against the wall.
Everything about this interaction is like your dreams coming to life right in front of your eyes, the only thing that would place the cherry on top of the cake would be if they actually did bend you like a pretzel and have their way with you.
You feel small as both men stand in front of you, their eyes drinking you in as if they haven't had lingering stares on you before (which they definitely have). You donât try to stop them as they let their hands roam your figure, fingers fiddling with loose fabric before eventually pulling your clothing off piece by piece until youâre left in nothing but your white cotton underwear.
âDonât you look so cute like this?â Seungcheol comments, his calloused fingers tracing your nipples and causing them to harden. He smirks as he watches them pebble up, not wasting any time dipping his head down to capture one between his lips, letting the bud roll over his tongue lewdly.
A moan escapes your lips, which is quickly swallowed by Wonwoo who shoves his tongue down your throat messily. Their free hands are roaming untouched parts of your body, and while thereâs a nagging in the back of your mind about how you shouldn't be doing this with your roommates, thereâs a louder voice yelling at you in your brain for not doing this sooner.
âLook how easily youâre giving yourself up for us, already soaking through your panties,â Wonwoo mumbles against your lips as his thick fingers glide over the cotton, the wet spot undeniable as he presses his fingers against it and watches smugly as you keen at the pleasure.
You can only gasp as Seungcheol pulls himself off your nipple and attaches himself to your neck instead, sucking a bruise into the flesh that will be purple within a couple of hours. Wonwoo glances over at his screen and curses, before heading back to his seat, leaving you and Seungcheol in a confused and lustful state.
âI didnât realize my next game was about to start, why donât you be a doll and come and sit on my cock? Itâs aching just thinking about being sheathed inside that perfect cunt of yours.â
You feel the wet spot grow larger at his filthy words.
When you donât move from your spot, Seungcheol takes it upon himself to drag you by your hand to where Wonwoo is sitting and readjusting his headset to prepare for his game. With a small groan, Seungcheol rips your panties off your body, mumbling something about buying you some more later, before positioning you over Wonwoo.
A low whistle escapes Wonwooâs throat at the sight of your dripping cunt, and feels his cock straining tightly against his sweats. He canât take it anymore and quickly shoves his sweats and boxers down to pool at his ankles, letting his cock spring up to attention. Your eyes widen at the sight, pre cum beading on the fat mushroom head, a prominent vein trailing down the shaft and his balls twitching in anticipation.
He chuckles but doesn't say a word as he grips your waist to pull you over his cock, and lets the tip slide against your clit, a garbled whine escaping your lips at the feeling. He grins and taps the head of his cock against your clit teasingly multiple times, and with each teasing pass you feel your whines grow louder and needier. In a moment of lust, you feel Wonwooâs lips come up to nibble on your jaw, sending a variety of feelings through your body.
âW-wonuâŠpleaseâŠneed you,â your breathing is shaky and your words are slurred, the teasing from both men going to your head and sending you into a frenzy. If you didnât cum soon you think you might just have to grab your vibrator to finish the job.
 Luckily, it doesn't come to that, and your hand comes to rest on his shoulders as he finally guides his cock into you after teasing you mercilessly, the pressure of his cock finally filling you up makes your head swim and your thighs shake.
âO-oh fuckâŠâ your voice trails off and you feel Wonwoo twitch inside of you as he finally bottoms out, a low groan filling your ears as your cunt squeezes around him like a vice. Seungcheol is losing his mind standing next to you, his own cock straining against his basketball shorts.
As you grow accustomed to Wonwooâs size, you rotate your hips and begin the process of bouncing up and down. When his large hand comes to rest on your hips and grip tightly, you halt all motion and bring your head up to stare into Wonwooâs lust-filled eyes.
âI didnât say to move, did I? I just want you to sit on my lap and be a good little slut, and maybe once Iâm done with my game you'll be rewarded.â His voice is short as he refocuses his attention on the game, delving right in and becoming immersed in the content.
You whimper as you clench helplessly around his cock, your fingers digging into his flesh through his shirt as he keeps you in place, despite still playing his game. You canât even see him but youâre sure heâs smirking even while smashing the keyboard quickly.
âIn the meantime, why donât you be a good whore for me and help me out, hm?â Seungcheolâs husky voice has grown deeper and makes you clench, causing Wonwoo to chuckle. Your eyes open and you can see Seungcheol standing in front of you, thick cock in his hand pumping slowly.
As if on instinct, you open your mouth for him to place his cock inside, and youâre immediately met with the salty taste of his precum. You moan softly and start bobbing your head to take more of him in, which has his head falling back and one of his hands entangling in your hair, tugging on the strands harshly.
The sounds filling the room are lewd; the wet sounds of your mouth bobbing quickly over Seungcheolâs cock and how your cunt is still filled with Wonwooâs cock, the occasional clench of your pussy sending a wave of arousal flooding down his cock and creating a puddle of slick on his chair.Â
âYour mouth is like heaven, sweetheart, been waiting for y-years to do this,â Seungcheol praises you as his hips stutter when you deepthroat him particularly well. The grip he has on your hair is beginning to sting, but you couldn't care less when the arousal in your abdomen is beginning to grow by the second.
âSon of a bitch!â
The loud profanity has you jerking off Seungcheolâs cock abruptly and looking at Wonwoo with concern. You can hear Seungcheol groan in annoyance and move your head back to his cock, where you teasingly take the tip into your mouth and suck lightly.Â
âYa lose your game, big shot?â Seungcheol teases Wonwoo, who quickly whips his head around to stare the older down. He removes his headset and raises the middle finger to Seungcheol, who reciprocates quickly before focusing his attention back on you.
âLike you can play any better, especially with a slut in your lap.â
The degradation has you clenching around Wonwooâs cock and moaning around Seungcheolâs, simultaneously making them throw their heads back and groan. You grin to yourself and make the effort to grind against Wonwoo and deepthroat Seungcheol before youâre pulled off both of them and shoved onto the bed.
You donât have any time to react as they both crawl up next to you, Seungcheol now taking position between your legs and Wonwoo stroking his cock and tapping the fat head against your lips.
âAre you gonna show us just how much of a slut you can be?â
You lick your lips and spread your legs, inviting both of them to do as they please. Itâs going to be a long, long night for all three of you.
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for the books | jeon wonwoo
summary | wonwoo's students seemed intent on matching him up with a fellow teacher. he didn't really want to stop them, it was too funny for him to break up their fun. plus, he didn't mind the certain someone he was being "set up" with. genre | fluff, teacher!au warnings | none, i think let me know! word count | 2.2k words pairing | jeon wonwoo x fem!reader min | lowercase intended i literally put off my other works to write this! delulu era to the max! i advocate for women in stem!!! also! this is like an american high school-level setting. lily is so out of pocket LOL (believe it or not there is a girl just like her at my school). this was 100% self-indulgent
"mr. jeon!" his student lily called. "so you're telling me that after all that, she still hasn't kissed him?" he looked up from his desk and looked over to his obviously distraught student. "lily! i didn't even finish it yet!" her friend mina yelled at her.
"i'm sorry! it's just so crazy how they didn't even kiss! even after they made up and he said all of that to her!" lily huffed.
"what did he say to her? i haven't gotten there yet either," daniel piped in.
"just read it! i'm sorry i brought it up in the first place," lily sighed and pulled out the worksheets she was supposed to complete after reading the book. he shook his head and went back to inputting grades into his computer. it was silly to think lily was just going to do her work. "mr. jeon, do you have a girlfriend?" she asked putting her pencil down. he paused momentarily, fingers hovering over the keyboard. "dude, that's so not cool for you to ask mr. jeon," daniel complained.
"what? we're reading this romantic novel, is it not fair to ask our english teacher if he's in a relationship?" lily replied, crossing her arms. "i mean we have to be reading this book for some reason."
"maybe it's just a part of the curriculum," mina rolled her eyes.
"do you seriously think mr. jeon is sending us subminimal signals about his love life through the books we're reading?" daniel asked.
"i don't know! maybe!" lily said. the three of them continued to argue back and forth at their table. wonwoo should probably stop this before the other students get irritated with the trio. "guys, i can assure you, i am not sending any messages about my love life. please get back to your work," wonwoo cleared his throat. he heard a disappointed noise, but pencils went back to scratching and pages started flipping again. soon it was the end of the class period and everyone was packing up. it was just lily. "next time, please refrain from asking personal questions in class," he asked.
"yes, of course. i'm sorry mr. jeon," lily bowed her head.
"it's alright. it can just be a bit distracting for your classmates. let's try to be more considerate."
"will do," she said, turning on her heel.
"oh and lily, just between me and you," wonwoo paused. "i don't have a girlfriend."
"he said he wasn't in a relationship!" lily cheered. daniel stared at her baffled, "didn't he say not to tell anyone?"
"yeah, but i mean, he must know that i'm going to tell you guys. you guys don't seem as nearly as excited about this as i do."
"why would we be? he's single, it's not like you have a chance with him or something," mina commented.
"no! ew! i would never try to go after a teacher, are you crazy? i'm saying that this is a perfect opportunity for us to get mr. jeon a date!" lily practically squealed.
"a date? with who?"
"with miss ___, of course! who else? haven't you guys ever noticed that they spend almost every lunch period with each other? they're so cute together!"
"maybe they're just planning classes or something," daniel shrugged.
"um, hello? mr. jeon teachers english literature and miss ___ teaches physics b. what would they planning together?"
"touché."
"i think it's time to enact a master plan."
"so everyone understands this equation, right?" you said, turning back to face the class. "tell me now, so i can help. this equation is the very foundation to magnetism, if you don't get it now i can't promise you'll do well in this unit."
no one put their hand up. you smiled, "oh well, i guess we just have a bunch of physic masters in this class. but seriously, let me know if you need help. you can start working on your homework packet now, this way if you have questions you can ask them now. i don't need your frantic emails at midnight."
you returned to your desk and flipped through some lesson plans. you didn't get to finish eating lunch today, so you took out your lunch bag. a small slip of paper fell out of it and onto the ground. you smiled to yourself and reached down to pick it up. "miss ___!" your student lily said, she was standing at the foot of your desk.
"yes, lily?" you answered.
"i have a question about something."
"have at it."
"it isn't physics related though." you looked up, slipping the slip into your pocket. "then, what's it about? do you need to go to the nurse?" you frowned.
"no it's nothing like that, but i was told by another teacher not to ask questions like this in front of the whole class. he said it was inconsiderate," she shrugged.
"oh, um, well i guess you can go ahead."
"are you friends with mr. jeon?"
you froze. mr. jeon? as in english literature teacher mr. jeon? mr. jeon you eat lunch with him every day mr. jeon? maybe they started picking up on something. "well, yeah, i guess you could say that," you coughed. "why are you asking this all a sudden?"
"well, i came by mr. jeon's class before lunch to ask him about an assignment and i saw you there. i didn't want to interrupt, but i didn't know you guys were friends," she shrugged, averting her eyes.
"oh well, yes. mr. jeon started at his position around the same time i did a few years ago. so we got close because of that."
"that's so- i mean, i'm sorry to pry. i was just curious. i mean usually i don't see english teachers and physics teachers talk that much. thanks!"
the whole exchange left you a little baffled.
lily seemed determined to get you and wonwoo together. she began to pry more often and she was getting bolder one question at a time. she even asked if you were in a relationship and if you got you cute gifts for birthdays and holidays from your boyfriend. sometimes she got very bold and mentioned mr. jeon by name. "miss ___, don't you think mr. jeon is cute? you two would be so cute together." you had replied, "i don't think this is time or the place to talk about this, lily. please do your practice problems." you rolled your eyes, "i don't feel like i'm at liberty to answer that."
you couldn't bring yourself to actually discipline her or her friends (who had seemingly joined in on the deep dive about your love life). they were curious teenagers looking for gossip. hell, you were like that too. you felt it would be unfair to punish them for that, as long as it didn't get too inappropriate, you didn't mind. it was a bit endearing too.
you just had to push the thought out of your mind. it was time to go to lunch anyway. it was the perfect time to clear your head.
"has lily been asking you some personal questions lately?" wonwoo asked, leaning back in his chair. god, he looked so handsome today. his glasses, pressed shirt, and ironed pants. "yes, has she been causing a raucous here too?" you asked, taking a seat at one of the desks.
"well, she asked me if i think you're beautiful," he chuckled.
you paused. you would be lying if you said you didn't feel anything for the man sitting in front of you. he was smart and kind.
"of course, i told her you are a lovely human being inside and out, and to get back to doing her project."
"funny, she was telling me that she and her friends thought we'd make a cute couple." he laughed at that, and it made your chest flutter. you loved his laugh. "cute couple, that's so cute," he gasped.
"yeah i know right. who knew our students would start trying to set us up," you joked. he nodded in agreement getting up after his microwave went off from the other side of the room. "it would be so funny if they actually succeeded, but it does seem a bit pointless at this point, right?" he noted.
"yeah, totally pointless," you agreed.
you and wonwoo, being set up, by your students of all people. it sure would be for the books if it happened like that.
what an absurd idea.
the rest of the week went as usual, uneventful, but you did get to see wonwoo on the way out of the building and into the parking lot. he held his leather bag in his right hand. "on the way out today?" he asked. "don't you usually do tutoring sessions after school on fridays?"
"we just started a unit, and no one showed up after the fifteen-minute window. i'm out of here," you laughed. he smiled. you loved it when he smiled. "want to walk out together then?" he offered and pushed the door open for you. something about him was so calming and comforting. you smiled and averted your gaze to the floor. even after all these years, he made you a little nervous. you did miss the way he grinned when he caught your shy smile. he loved the way you smiled too. he couldn't wait to see it again, he needed to see it again as soon as possible. he was too lost in thought about the way you smile and the way your voice sounds, that he fell far behind you. "___, wait up," he called as you made your way through the faculty parking lot. he jogged to catch up to you and reached out to grab your hand.
"i swear i saw him kiss her out in the parking lot," daniel insisted. "they were holding hands too!" at this point, lily was totally unmotivated to get her two favorite teachers together. not after miss ___ shut her down on numerous occasions and mr. jeon was just as friendly but unbothered as ever giving his most PG answers. "whatever, daniel," lily huffed. "they would be so perfect together."
"he's literally telling you that they're together, he saw them kissing!" mina exclaimed. lily rolled her eyes. they were all hallucinating just to make themselves feel better that it was wishful thinking. "true love isn't real!" she cried.
"it's time to wake up, sweetheart," he mumbled. "you said you had lots of work to do today."
"yeah, well it's my day off too. i'll get to work later," his fiancé groaned.
"oh come on, i know you're desperate to do all that paperwork," he teased. he tugged on the warm body text to him to pull it closer to him. he loved waking up with his wonderful, beautiful, smart fiancé next to him.
he loved waking up next to you.
he knew the kids were asking about him and his love life. kids would be kids of course. "lily won't stop asking about my love life. it's funny since we both teach her," he said.
"i guess, she's never noticed the necklace with the ring hanging around my neck," you chuckled, nuzzling your face into wonwoo's neck. his arms easily wrapped around your body. he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "you know, lily asked me if i had a girlfriend the other week," wonwoo murmured.
"she asked me if i had a boyfriend too," you hummed. "i just told her that it wasn't appropriate to ask that in class."
"i said something similar, but i did tell her i didn't have a girlfriend."
you paused. why would he say that? he was very obviously in a relationship, well obvious to the two of you. he even gave you a ring and a nice dinner to cement your relationship. "i obviously couldn't tell that i didn't have a girlfriend because i have a wonderful, smart fiancé," he laughed. you breathed an internal sigh of relief, but you still hit him in the chest. "that's so stupid," you groaned. "you're catching everyone on a technicality." he thought he was so clever and funny, ever the wordsmith.
"it's so hard not telling the students," wonwoo whispered, and you nodded your head in agreement. he didn't know why the two of you didn't tell the students yet, but the relationship started a bit secretively, almost right after the both of you were onboarded. he guessed the two of you never got out of the whole secret relationship. it was a bit exhilarating keeping the secret between you and him, and the admin. he felt like a teenager again. "maybe we should ease them into it, but let's not let them think it was all them," you said.
"maybe it's time for you to start wearing the ring on your finger then," he commented pulling away to get a better look at you. "i can't wait for you to become mrs. jeon," he smiled.
"yuck, so corny," you rolled your eyes with a smile. "you need to stop with these cheesy sayings early in the morning." nevertheless, you leaned forward and kissed him. he kissed back easily, "come on, i know you like the little notes i leave in your lunch."
"i do, now be quiet and just kiss me."
"gladly."
he did have the whole weekend until he had to go back to school. at least you made the day a little better.
min | im just in a silly goofy mood LOL. my poor attempt at humor and portraying what high schoolers are like. wonwoo being an english teacher just makes sense!!! reblogs and comments are always appreciated! not proofread at the moment (it's 1 in the morning)
tagging: @a-wandering-stay
i'm writing atm. i will not say fanfic soon bc who knows how long this will take but i am cooking up something <3
JEONGHAN Fallinâ Flower + Dream / Be the Sun (2022)
wonwoo â§ it's live

