Sorry it’s been a while! I wrote this last night! 🪽
Synopsis: Aria takes a breather outside and ends up running into a familiar face and strange feeling’s
I walk outside and right away I felt the cold air blow straight into my face. Fuck, I should've brought my hat, but oh well. Maybe if my ears go numb, my brain will quit making me listen to my thoughts.
I hope Sophia doesn't hate me. She was the first person here to make me feel loved and welcomed. But I know how different we are.
Sophia is popular. I had no idea how popular she was until I moved here and saw it first hand. Everyone knows who she is, and everyone loved her. Me, on the other hand? I'm quiet. I try to keep to myself a lot, and I only have 3 friends, including her. And tonight I probably embarrassed her in front of all her cool friends. God, how could I be so stupid!
My brain continues to spiral down a path of anxiety surrounding my friendships and how awkward I am. I'm such a bad friend I didn't even greet her other friends, and they probably wondered what my problem was.
As I spiral without even noticing, I've walked into the downtown Chicago area.
A shiver goes through me, pushing me out of my thoughts. I sigh and end up going into a little cafe.
I'm surprised it was open, but I realize now why it was open so late. I soon realize that the song I was hearing wasn't coming from the speakers. It was coming from some guy on a makeshift stage with a guitar and a microphone. There was an open mic night.
I might as well just watch a few performances, right?
I order a hot chocolate and a muffin. I grab my order and then go sit further in the back. At least 4 people have already sang by now.
One more song couldn't hurt.
I see the next person coming on, and I have to do a double take.
The Indian woman stepped on stage, and an instrumental for her song came on. As the intro played, I watched her take a deep breath and close her eyes. Then she opened her mouth.
"Loving you is easy cause you're beautiful..„
My breath stops in my throat, and my eyes lock onto the stage. This woman can sing.
I look around to see everyone's expression of complete awe matching mine. I've heard good singers, and I've seen people get into their flow with music, but when Lara does it. Shit, I feel like a sailor drawn to a siren.
During the whole song my eyes are glued to her. The way her face is so at peace and content. The way her body sways to the music. The way she keeps...
Eyeing someone...in the crowd..?? Fuck, please don't tell me…
In horror I look to see where her eyes keep flicking up to. A man. Of course it's a man! Of course she's not into girls!
The song comes to an end, and I watch as the guy gives her a standing ovation and she giggles. I've never felt more sick in my life. Wait, what am I talking about? I've only had two conversations with her. This is what always happens. I get hooked by a pretty face and an attitude, and suddenly I'm tricking myself into thinking I have a chance.
"Hey, I'm Lara, and that's one of my favorite songs!" Lara speaks into the microphone after the clapping subsides. "I also make my own music! "Make sure to check me out literally anywhere because god, I need a boost right now." The crowd laughs at her honesty, and she smiles.
Her smile is absolutely gorgeous.
I can't believe a stupid man gets to see that smile more often than anyone, and I hate how-
I cut myself off. Only two conversations and she's not into girls. I'm not entitled to anyone, even if I can treat her better. I take a breath to calm myself because why was I actually feeling upset?
She waves goodbye to the crowd then goes to sit with the man in the crowd. I don't know why, but he just bothers me.
He kisses her head and wraps an arm around her.
A few minutes later the show ends, and I decide to go say hi to Lara. Sophia always says I need to be more social.
I walk up to Lara and...the man. Once she sees me, she looks surprised, and then she grins.
"Aria?! What are you doing here?!" She walks closer to hug me.
As she wraps her arms around me, I practically melt and hold the hug a few seconds longer than normal for two girls who've only talked twice.
"I don't really know, actually...it's a long story, but anyway! You did so good!" I say quickly.
"And who's this?" I nod towards her boyfriend. I say it in a joking tone, the way a friend would tease a friend about a guy they have a crush on. Can't blow my cover...
"Oh, this is Orlando! My..." she trails off for a second. My heart skips a beat.
Do I have a shot?! Maybe she is gay! This could be nothing! It could just be a-
"Boyfriend." She finishes the sentence, and my excitement goes out.
"Cool." No, not cool. Not cool at all, ughhh.
We stand there awkwardly for a moment. Then the man speaks. Ew.
"Well, baby, we better get going..."
Lara frowns. "You said we were going out tonight?"
"I didn't expect your thing to go on sol ong..." I watch Lara's face shrivel for a moment as he refers to her singing as a "thing."
Suddenly my mouth moves before my brain thinks. "I'm gonna be walking around if you just need something to do." Why do I keep embarrassing myself tonight? Jeez.
To my surprise, Lara thinks about my proposal.
"Okay!" She turns to her boyfriend. "You go home and rest. You have a game tomorrow anyway." She squeezes his hand and smiles at him. I roll my eyes. Of course he plays football.
He nods "yeah...you sure you'll be okay?"
She nods back. "I'll text you when I get home, mkay?"
"Okay, be safe, love you." Her boyfriend kisses her cheek before stuffing his hands back in his pocket and walking away with no further questions. This guy was...interesting..
Lara turns to me after watching her boyfriend go. "Okay, tell me why you're actually here." The change in her tone catches me off guard.
With her boyfriend it was more light, almost a whole other octave. But with me it was a little bit deeper and rasper. Huh..
I sigh. "It's just..." I trail off.
Lara somehow senses the wariness in my voice. "Let's walk, yeah?"
I nod, and we head out the door.
We walk in silence for a bit, then she opens her mouth.
"You gonna to tell me what's up or not?"
"I'm just having a hard time with my roommates."
I explain the fight between Sophia and Manon and how I'm not good with conflict, so it freaked me out. Then I talk about what happened today, and her face twists into concern.
"So basically your situation with your roommates is a little toxic, huh?"
I look down. "It's not toxic; it's just- hard..."
"Uh-huh..." She continues to look at me. "Regardless, you obviously have some things you need to explain to them.."
"Aria, not to be rude, but you obviously have some issues when it comes to relationships."
I blink, and she continues.
"Sophia doesn't hate you, and Manon and her will make up. Friends have communication issues sometimes, but those get fixed."
"If you know I have issues, you must also know that your words won't help that much, right?"
"I just wanted to at least try..." she smiles weakly, and I laugh.
"I appreciate it, but no amount of validation is gonna fix how I feel, and I think you know that."
We walk in silence for a little longer till we get to a park. We find a bench and sit on it.
I watch her look up at the sky, and then I look up as well. I sneak glances at her every so often as her face is glued to the sky.
I admire the stars for a bit, but then I realize this is my shot. I might not be able to be with her, but I might as well scope out the situation, right? I think I've lost my mind.
"Sooo this Orlando guy seems cool.."
"Yeah! He's pretty awesome."
"How long have you guys been together?"
"Ooo, so it's getting serious, huh?"
Lara talks to me about how she's not really ready for any kind of serious relationship until she knows for sure she's found her person.
"Don't like feeling caged, huh?"
"Not at all. Honestly, I don't know why he's still hanging around me..he knows I'm going to cut things off eventually.."
I hum in agreement. I kinda like that Lara doesn't wanna be pinned. Toxic people have always had a weird grip on me that just can't be explained. I think I'm drawn to the fact she's kinda a player and not taken aback.
"I sound like a horrible person, huh?" She laughs softly and shakes her head.
She raises an eyebrow. "There you go lying to make me feel better about myself again," she looks at me. "I don't know if I hate it or like it."
"I just have one question..."
Lara's inhales with her teeth and winces a little. "He treats me nice, and he's pretty cute."
"Why don't you think he's the one?"
"He- he just-" she sighs, "sometimes it seems like he doesn't really care about my career."
I nod with a straight face. But in my head I'm jumping up and down and giggling. I listen as she continues.
"It's annoying because he makes music too. I just wish he could see that I have what it takes and I do take it seriously."
My face twists into something angry. "That's bull."
"That's bullshit!" Lara is taken aback by my strong words.
"You 200% have what it takes! Even I know that, and we met for the first time yesterday. And when you sing? You can tell you're in your element. Your voice is so beautiful it's literally silences the room. You have to find a guy to appreciate what he has. And trust me, with that face you can have anyone." I say that last part a little quieter.
Lara blinks and then starts to laugh.
"Lara, stop. I am so serious!"
"Oh, Aria, thanks for saying that, but it's okay, really." She smiles. "I'm kind of running out of hot guys to be with at school."
"What about the girls?" I brace myself for her response. God, please say you like women, please.
"They're all so beautiful, and I’d feel worse breaking their hearts."
"More for me then!" I joke.
"Yeah, knock yourself out.."
We both laugh. Gosh, I love her laugh.
After a few more moments of looking at the stars in silence, she gets up.
"Okay let's get you home?"
"Oh boo your had a little scuffle with your roommate so what?! She doesn't hate you Aria! Stop being silly.."
I roll my eyes with a smile and get up.
I get prepared to walk a mile or two in the cold and sigh. Then I see Lara pull out her phone.
"Pft, you think I was gonna let us freeze to death? We're getting an Uber."
I try to argue, but when I think about it, I really don't wanna be stuck in the cold.
The Uber comes, and me and Lara climb in. Lara asks if she can add a stop to my apartment before she gets taken home, and the driver agrees. The warm air from the car makes me feel so happy after all that cold. The ride there is silent, but I don't mind.
Finally we pull up to the apartment. And she tells the driver to wait a minute because she wants to walk me inside to my apartment.
We walk inside and go to the elevators. I notice Lara looking around.
"Yeah, yeah, I know your apartment is a lot nicer..."
"No! It's not that!" The elevator door opens. "I'm just admiring how they kept the original design."
We get in the elevator and go up to the 8th floor. She walks me to my door.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye, huh?"
I yawn. "Yeah, but I'm ready for bed.."
"Hey, thank you for hanging out with me tonight! I needed to take my mind off...you know."
"No problem, Aria. You have a nice night, alright?"
She smiles, and I watch as she walks away, and I open my door. I quietly sneak to my room and slip into my pajamas. The moment I lie down, I pull out my phone and go to Google.
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