ITEM VENDOR

THE   TRADITIONAL   ITEMS   MERCHANT   THAT'S   NECESSARY   IN   EVERY   VIDEO   GAME  .

[merchantnpc]

@projectawny​ said: [ What are you selling? ]

ah —— ! it was always quite the EXCITING PROSPECT whenever someone new displayed interest in his wares. being a merchant by design,      ( in the most literal way possible ) selling his inventory to a willing buyer gave zacharie what could only be described as A CATHARTIC SENSE of purpose. as if his life was but a mere piece to a greater puzzle      ( the game ) and playing the part of a salesman was akin to settling comfortably into his proper place.

though it likely helped that zacharie quite enjoyed MAKING A PROFIT. then again, didn’t everyone —— ?

❝ that depends entirely ON YOU, my friend. ❞ the merchant replied. his tone was warm enough to match the smile etched across his mask.      ( a touch of charisma never hurt. ) ❝ what do you need? i have NO SHORTAGE of weapons and healing items to carry you through the battles ahead. ❞ in an instant, zacharie removed and unzipped his bag, gesturing grandly at the contents. ❝ care to take a look? i’ll gladly accept any form OF CURRENCY. ❞

[merchantnpc]

by the way, i’d really love to get this blog active again, so if any mutuals are INTERESTED IN A STARTER, you’re welcome to give this post a like!      ( if you’re a sideblog, feel free to just reply with your url. ) i’m also looking for more accounts to follow, so if you have ANY OTHER BLOGS you could see interacting with zacharie, send them my way!

[spacemansleepy]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[merchantnpc]

is he sleeping? is he awake —— ? with the mask on, it’s ALL BUT IMPOSSIBLE to tell at a glance.

[merchantnpc]

HOW MANY BRAIN CELLS DO YOU HAVE?

YOU  HAVE  THREE  (3)  BRAIN  CELLS ...      knowledge is power. be careful of how you use it. if you ever say you're dumb i don't trust you. either you're lying or you don't use the three whole brain cells you've been blessed with

[merchantnpc]

@skelesnow​ | starter call

❝ ah! long time no see, monsieur squelette. ❞      ZACHARIE  MADE  NO  MOVES  TO  TURN  AROUND      as he spoke —— not that it would have mattered, considering the merchant’s face was concealed      ( as always ) by one of his trademark masks. he seemed awfully preoccupied with the sculpture he was crafting out of snow.      A  SELF  PORTRAIT  OF  SORTS ,      carved lovingly with immaculate detail. ❝ how are you holding up? i’m afraid there isn’t much to report on my end. then again,      THAT’S  TO  BE  EXPECTED. ❞      standing up, he seemed to give his creation a careful once-over, nodding with a pleased hum at the result.      ( apparently it met his approval. )

❝ this substance —— what would you call it?      IT’S  MORE  MALLEABLE  THAN  I  EXPECTED. ❞      turning around, zacharie dusted the snow off his pants, before turning his attention to the skeleton. it was difficult to tell, but the warmth of his tone      IMPLIED  HE  WAS  SMILING.      ❝ we don’t have anything of the sort in my own game, i’m afraid. ❞

the merchant glanced down at his hands. ❝ is it supposed to      MAKE  MY  FINGERS  GO  NUMB? ❞

[merchantnpc]

zach is completely capable of      REMOVING  HIS  MASK  IF  HE  REALLY  FEELS  LIKE  IT.      not only to switch between variants —— technically speaking, he doesn’t necessarily need to wear one at all.      ( it serves no practical purpose beyond denoting what role he’s currently playing ——      MERCHANT  OR  GUIDE. )

that being said, it’s practically impossible to catch him with his face uncovered.      PERHAPS  THERE  WAS  A  TIME      before zacharie concealed himself behind a mask —— it depends on whether one considers his backstory      ( or the maybe-artificial memories he holds of a time before the game ) real or not. either way, zach feels as though his masks are a part of him now. they aren’t concealing his face so much as      THEY  ARE  HIS  FACE ,      and whatever lies beneath is entirely alien and unfamiliar. as a result, he feels extremely uncomfortable removing them, even if it’s to do something as simple as eat.      ( he’s mastered the art of tilting it up just enough to slip food underneath. ) to say zacharie showing someone his real face is a gesture of trust would be an understatement ——      HARDLY  ANYONE  CAN  CONFESS  TO  SEEING  WHAT  HE  REALLY  LOOKS  LIKE ,      and he would prefer to keep it that way.

it likely doesn’t help that zacharie has      CHEEK  MARKINGS      underneath, and they remind him heavily of his ties to his own broken family. no thank you, he prefers the mask.

[merchantnpc]

@kyfhauser​ | starter call

❝ i’m afraid      I  DON’T  REALLY  UNDERSTAND      how this whole gardening business is supposed to work. ❞ oddly enough, the masked man’s tone was cheerful  —— as if the subject still fascinated him      IN  SPITE  OF  HIS  AFOREMENTIONED  CONFUSION.      standing at the very edge of the garden, the slightest nudge forward would have soft flower petals brushing at his ankles. yet zacharie remained where he was, uncharacteristic hesitance holding the merchant in place.

plants were      PRACTICALLY  NON-EXISTENT  IN  HIS  WORLD.      reduced to smudged photos in picture books —— relics of an era that was no more.      ( after all, what could hope to grow when soil had been traded for cold metal? ) zacharie could      UNDERSTAND  THE  CONCEPT  OF  CULTIVATING  PLANTS      in theory, however in practice, the act of doing so was entirely alien. though he supposed that was what interested him the most —— even if it also brought him pause.      ( he wasn’t used to newness. to not knowing. )

❝ do you      PLAN  ON  USING  THESE  FOR  FOOD? ❞      his head inclined to regard the king. ❝ or are they a set-piece, perhaps? ❞ an aesthetic statement. the backdrop of a climactic moment. certainly they had to      SERVE  SOME  SORT  OF  PRACTICAL  PURPOSE.

[merchantnpc]

@bscotchpie​​ | starter call

as a merchant, it was only natural      ZACHARIE  WOULD  POSSESS  AN  EYE  FOR  QUALITY.      after all, how else could he possibly hope to put a price on the unwanted items the puppeteer saw fit to barter with him? on his own fine selection of wares?      ( ignoring that such numbers had been seemingly pre-determined from the start. ) that, coupled with his unsettling awareness of all things video game, gave the masked man the impression he was      SOMETHING  OF  AN  AUTHORITY      on proper level design. on puzzle making. or at the very least, exploring the subject was a bit of a hobby.

it was      A  VERY  ROUNDABOUT  WAY  OF  EXPLAINING      why he was presently crouched before a row of deadly spikes, prodding at them without a care.      ( would he bleed if he pricked his finger? zacharie honestly wasn’t sure. )

❝ ahahah, i take it you’re the boss of this level? ❞ the merchant peered over one shoulder, the eternally-grinning visage of his mask      EERIE  AND  AFFABLE  IN  EQUAL  MEASURES.      ❝ interesting! interesting! then i should commend you on such fine craftsmanship; these puzzles are      QUITE  THE  SPECTACLE. ❞

[merchantnpc]

@dedededan​ | starter call

❝ NICE  WEATHER  WE’RE  HAVING ,      huh? ❞ the words were paired with an amused undertone —— the merchant well aware      ( as always ) that the artificial state of their world rendered such remarks entirely pointless. it was      MEANT  TO  BE  MORE  OF  AN  ICEBREAKER ,      than anything else. wordlessly, zacharie tilted his head back to stare at the guardian. the mask made it difficult to gauge his expression, though his gaze didn’t seem UNKIND —— more curious.      ( perhaps quietly hoping that the other would alleviate his boredom. )

❝ i don’t suppose you would be at all interested in perusing my inventory of fine wares? ❞ he had a feeling      HE  ALREADY  KNEW  THE  ANSWER ,      though zacharie supposed it didn’t hurt to ask. typically, only a protagonist would be willing to buy enigmatic items from an equally enigmatic man.  ❝ it could make for an      ENTERTAINING  CHANGE  OF  PACE. ❞

[merchantnpc]

the thing is,      ZACH  IS  ACTUALLY  CAPABLE  OF  DEFENDING  HIMSELF      if need be. the wings and sword he can conjure at will aren’t for show  —— and his backstory      ( even if it’s not necessarily real ) gives him a veritable treasure trove of      INVALUABLE  COMBAT  EXPERIENCE      to draw from. he isn’t a pushover. he isn’t weak by any stretch of the imagination.

however, getting him to actually      DRAW  HIS  SWORD  AND  FIGHT      is all but impossible. even when the batter and puppeteer are on the precipice of destroying his entire world —— even when his own sister is killed, zacharie continues to play his role as      THE  HARMLESS  MERCHANT  NPC.      all because he knows lifting a finger to stop them is pointless.      ( and that is where he differs from other difficult bosses in similar positions  —— such as sans or undyne. ) putting up a fight is pointless. if anything,      ATTEMPTING  TO  DO  SO  HURTS  MORE  THAN  IT  HELPS ,      because it only gives the player incentive to commit atrocities in an attempt to provoke him so they can test their mettle. 

the last thing zacharie wants to do is create a spectacle.      AS  HOLLOW  AND  DEPRESSING      as the ending of OFF can be, in a way, zach benefits from it. because most players are content with a single playthrough  —— or at the very least, the experience isn’t something they jump at the chance to go through again immediately after.      HE  WANTS  THE  PUPPETEER  TO  FEEL  EMOTIONALLY  DRAINED .      there are no secrets. there are no alternate routes. there is no greater challenge to seek.

zacharie knows the plot mandates      HIS  WORLD  IS  DESTINED  TO  DIE.      the least he can do is grant it the mercy of keeping that death as swift and painless as possible.

[merchantnpc]

@txyknife​ said: ❝ Nice mask! ❞ Cyan eyes widen to marvel at it, ❝ Did ya make it yourself--? ❞

the mask in question made it     IMPOSSIBLE  TO  GLIMPSE  THE  MERCHANT’S  FACE ,     however zacharie’s amusement was made evident in the peals of delighted laughter that followed her inquiry. ❝ ahahah! you like it, non? ❞ the question punctuated by a faint tap-tap-tap as he drummed a finger rhythmically against his cheek.      IT  WAS  DIFFICULT  TO  TELL  WHAT  KIND  OF  MATERIAL     the mask was made of, though by all accounts, it appeared to be rather sturdy. ❝ i see you must have quite the eye for quality, my friend. ❞      ( though perhaps he was a bit biased in saying so. )

his hand lowered, fingers intertwining to      FORM  A  HAMMOCK      for the merchant to rest his chin upon. ❝ although, to answer your question, i suppose... a bit of yes and a bit of no. ❞ zacharie perked up suddenly,      THE  MOVEMENT  ODDLY  REMINISCENT  OF  A  CURIOUS  BIRD ,     jerky and swaying. ❝ of course, i CAN produce more if the need strikes me —— OR if the plot necessitates my doing so. ❞

zacharie could remember crafting the one concealing his features     ( the familiar visage of a toad ) with his own two hands. at the same time,      THE  MEMORY  WAS  STRANGELY  BLURRY  ——      though most were, as far as his backstory was concerned. the merchant’s past was a strange thing. a jumble of events that both did and did not happen  —— a family that was both his, yet entirely alien.      HAD  ZACHARIE  BEGUN  TO  EXIST  WITH  THE  START  OF  THE  GAME ,      or in the jumble of thoughts packed into the back of his skull?      ( to add character. to add flavor. to make him more interesting. ) had he made the mask to mock the greedy king  —— the one he had slain with his own two hands? or had it always been a part of zacharie, from the very beginning?

ah. well.       HE  SUPPOSED  IT  DIDN’T  MATTER      now.

❝ you know, ❞ the merchant’s voice was JOVIAL as he continued aloud, ❝ i had once entertained the idea of      ADDING  MASKS  TO  MY  INVENTORY. ❞     a thoughtful hum. ❝ ah, but sadly, i can only assume my usual clientele would hold little interest in the addition. ❞ tragic.

[merchantnpc]

PEEKS  IN .

[merchantnpc]

diddlydarnsnapyourneck·:

At least seven.

❝ excellent. baseball greatness, here i come. ❞

[merchantnpc]

diddlydarnsnapyourneck replied to your post: ❝ … to be honest, i don’t even know how baseball...

All I know is it’s against the rules for the pitcher to spit on the ball and I’m assuming the bat is for the losers.

❝ how many points do i win if i throw the base like a frisbee? ❞

[merchantnpc]

machincgun‌:

Strange; that was the only word in the woman’s mind that could describe this individual with accuracy, strange. She only gives a small ‘hmmm’ in reply, looking the masked ‘man’, (if they were even a he, she really couldn’t tell, but she assumed they they were a he,) right where his eyes would be. 

“Nothing in particular, I’m just curious. I’ve never seen wares quite as, eccentric? Eccentric as these.” She sounds as if she wanted to use a different word to describe his wares, she wasn’t one for offending another party though, not unless they actually deserved it. 

“So, what do you have?” Nervousness lines her voice, well knowing that it was an entirely unnecessary question, she could see them before her, but some items she didn’t recognize, much more curious about those that she hadn’t seen before than those that were familiar.

❝ would it surprise you to know you aren’t the only person to hold that opinion? ❞ he inclined his head. ❝ well... i suppose not. but it isn’t the first time i’ve been told that kind of thing. in fact, it seems like my standard of normal and yours are quite different. ❞ zacharie laughed— practically his trademark. ❝ that only makes what i have for sale all the more interesting, don’t you think? my items are rare and exclusive and reasonably priced. ❞

he held his arms out, gesturing to what was laid out in front of him. it was a pretty good sampling of what the merchant normally carried with him— luck tickets, jars containing translucent balls of aura, symbols... and a bat or two, of course. ❝ exactly the kind of items you would need to progress in a video game, my friend. whether it’s offense, defense or items to provide healing, ❞ zacharie gestured to each as he spoke, ❝ you’ll find i have a generous number of all three. ❞

he nodded very deliberately at the small assortment of bats. ❝ you could say those in particular are a specialty. ❞

[merchantnpc]

❝ ... to be honest, i don’t even know how baseball works normally. ❞