Hey, guys. I think this post has been a long time coming, and it wouldn't surprise me if you foresaw this ages ago; nonetheless, I feel it's necessary to go ahead and cement it, to cap it off for good. I wish there was a more personal way to do this, but honestly -- I have to say that there simply isn't one. I apologize in advance to anyone who may feel shocked or hurt or any sort of negative emotion in response to this. It isn't my intention -- if anything, it's the opposite -- and I want you to know that I am so, so sorry for any trouble this might cause. I'm going to be leaving the Dalton fandom. I know this is something I've tried (and promptly failed miserably) to do in the past, but, at the risk of sounding indelicate, that was for the benefit of someone else. This time I'm doing it for me. While it would take ages to explain my reasons for leaving in their entirety, I feel I owe it to you to give you a basic break-down of why this is happening and why this is happening now. Firstly -- and this is going to sound brutal -- I'm afraid I've lost interest in the story itself. I still love the boys and love them endlessly, I still ship Jogan with the fist of God, I still owe Logan Wright a great portion of my sense of self. But that isn't because of the story, anymore. It's because of the way that the fandom and my imagination have run away with things. I don't mean to sound harsh, but... In the end, we've only gotten three updates in the past year, and to be frank, it isn't, say, Sherlock. It is not particularly exceptional in wit or action, it is not stunningly well-written, it is not epic in it's sense of scale. And that's fine -- I don't mean to imply that something has to contain all of those things to be good or, indeed, enjoyable. I apologize if I'm angering anyone or breaking any hearts here, but my interest isn't ensnared anymore -- I can't wait this long for something I do not love and love whole-heartedly. I'm sorry. And while I suppose I could simply leave you with that, in honesty I would've stayed had that been the only problem. The fandom has become something of a warzone of late. I know, I know -- you've heard that a lot lately, we're all just overreacting, etc. But it's true. Tensions are running high, friendships are fraying, and things are overall just incredibly caustic. While I can't speak for everyone, I can tell you my view on it: I, personally, have been getting... considerable amounts of hate lately, and at this point I can't even respond anymore, as I've been accused twice now of sending it to myself. I hate to sound thin-skinned, but that feels awful. And I know that sounds like pretty weak evidence that the fandom is fraying, but that's just it -- it isn't just me anymore. A number of people here have been going through the same sort of thing. While that may not necessarily reflect on the conditions of the entire fandom, I think that in light of the rest of affairs it speaks quite firmly against it. And while I know I've been touching on a number of sensitive and potentially offensive issues here -- more than enough to make more than a few people angry with me -- there's another thing that I'm sure I shouldn't say, but I will anyway, as it has a large part in things being as they are. The favourites game has begun to get far, far out of hand. I know that Miss CP is bound to form bonds with certain people, and I don't intend to blame this on her, as she's only human, just as I'm only a dorky blogger who occasionally writes things and deludes herself into thinking her opinion on fandom politics and other such things matters. But at this point, I feel like a relatively small selection of people are being given the sole focus of her attentions over others in the fandom, which has sparked a number of problems -- there's been secondhand-worshipping, bitterness, envy, and so on. I won't lie. It irritates me. And while it was very much a thing of heated jealousy in the past, I've come to realize that I don't really care about receiving Miss Coulter's affections. I haven't for a while. It's a matter of principle: the fandom is starting to drift into hierarchies, and regardless of my place, it simply isn't what it used to be. And for the most personal reason: I have had issues with certain people -- in truth, one person, but it's strained other friendships during its course -- here in the past. Not necessarily ugly ones -- if anything, they were incredibly detached and formal -- but my remaining affection for said people has made it somewhat painful to stick around for as long as I have. It sounds melodramatic, I know, and I hate it just as much as you do. I won't go into detail, because it's no one's fault and it would be stupid to have someone suffer consequences for things over which they had little control. But again, I wanted to be as complete in my explanation as possible, and this is a considerable factor in my leave. Before you can ask: Yes, I will be making another blog, yes, I will be using it under a nickname, and no, it will have nothing to do with Dalton or Glee. It's... really, really sad for me, honestly, leaving this fandom. This has been my home for so long now, and I love all of you. So much. If you have my phone number and/or e-mail address, continue to use them; if you want one or both, message me, as I'll be continuing to check in here for the next week or so to make sure that nothing major has happened that requires my assistance, as well as to return any goodbyes or sentiments that I may be lucky enough to receive. I don't want to just leave and never talk to any of you ever again. That's unthinkable. As for giving out my new URL: No. At least, not yet. I'll be making the rounds and giving it to a few people here shortly, but until I've had a few weeks to distance myself from everyone... I simply don't think it's a good idea. As I said: phone and email. After a little while, I may give you my new URL, should you want it. It just isn't something I want to become widespread right now. This blog will be kept as an archive. As I said, I'll be checking in (quietly and without posting, mind you) every couple of days for a while just to make sure everything's okay. Eventually, when I have the time and resources, I'll go back and change all my links to mercurial-wit-archive, and that'll seal the proverbial deal. In any event: I'll be on for the rest of the night -- it'll be my last, I feel compelled to clarify -- if you want to talk to (or yell at) me before I leave. I know that I haven't precisely been delicate in my farewell message, and I'm so, so sorry if I've hurt you in any way with this. As regrettable as it is, though, this just isn't my home anymore. I'm sorry for stepping on any toes or offending anyone -- please understand that I'm not angry or doing this in a fit of pique. I've thought this through, and I think it's for the best. For everyone. My love for you all is boundless, and I hope you know that. Thank you. For everything. --Courtney (Oh, and also -- I won't be tagging anyone, as this is very much for public knowledge.)
