ツ + ™ + ☠=Sack o'ferrets!

❝ 𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗗𝗦 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀. ❞

[phemiec]

when your notp is the most popular ship in the fandom but you don’t want to make waves so you just keep quiet and deal with it being everywhere

[henryscavills]

[ewmagneto]

[aseaofquotes]

[aseaofquotes]

Joe Dunthorne, Submarine

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

❛ i’m trying to be a better person, but some people are testing me ❜

          ❝–…That’s a shaaaaame. …These ‘people’ wouldn’t happen to be dashing, heroic, talkative and charming like your aunt sally’s decade year old used hanky, would they? …That’s not me I’m talking about, by the by–cause’ I’m AT LEAST as charming as a one year old used up hanky.❞ The jests, the jokes, the infinite and endless supply of hilarity-infused devices were at his dispose. But looking at her in the passenger’s seat, even admiring that he got her to smirk just a small amount, Wade could figure out what was really on her mind. Probably on account of it being on his mind as well. His gaze was switched back to the road ahead of them, blue eyes flickered between the curled fingers along the steering wheel and the zooming asphalt, lost in his own thoughts–trying to find something resembling comfort to say to her. ❝…Ahhh, look… Cap can be a righteous asshole, okay? I’ll be the first to admit that, even if he is hero to me. Or uh–was, maybe. I dunno’. Point is… just cause’ he comes down on you, doesn’t mean it’s true. That whole… being a mutant so you gotta’ prove yourself more than everyone else thing is just a bunch of bull!@#%.❞

       Replace the word with ‘killer’ or ‘mercenary’ and he surmised that it was along the same lines, though he wasn’t ignorant or stupid enough to believe it was on the same grounds as being a mutant. And even though the notion of the Unity team was nice and all–it came too late, in retrospect. A team full of mismatched heroes, mutants and whatever else should have came a long time ago, he reckoned. But then that would have made The Avengers even more spotlighted for any mistakes made by him, Rogue–or otherwise. And you can’t have that, never.

         ❝Listen, you’re… just… awesome. Okay? You’ve come far. Further than me and a lot of other people, in fact. You’re looking to make a difference, to make a statement on humans and mutants working together–that’s friggin’ radical. An’ if Steve don’t see the importance in that, then he can sit right on an American flag and get off on being a patriotic putz, while we do the important stuff.❞

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

in other news, i’m weak and extra as hell btw™

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

Why do you write wade like hes gay? Steve and Wade would never work and you shouldn't put your personal kinks onto your character

(ooc):

…I’m legitimately unsure if you’re joking or not. Either way, here’s your response:

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

        It was one George Carlin that said, 

               “Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”

       And by every definite possibility, he was correct in the highest form possible. Because here we have our deformed, defeated, defect of a dumbass--with a mask--currently bound to a display table by several rolls of duct tape, some Home Depot chains... and most of his limbs missing. Yes, count one, two, three--FOUR bloody stumps, where arms and legs should have been. Here in the land of make-believe and different dimensions, Deadpool had thought to himself, ❝Dimension hopping sounds like a fun thing to do today! Nothing could go wrong!❞--and he... was absolutely right. Because by the first stop of his infallible wormhole device, things were going swimmingly. Landing right in the middle of some Hulk-esque looking ripoffs and their base, with their giant green-yellowish muscles, awful teeth, Kardashian intelligence--you know the kind. In due response, they started blasting their hypercharged laser rifles at him, along with attempting to smash him into pieces.

       And although he took a good chunk out of their ugly-make-your-mother-cry army, they managed to win the battle--but not without discovering that he had a VERY convenient healing factor. Fast forward to now, with bite marks all over his chest, one chunk of meat taken out of his shoulder, the missing limbs... and it was rather easy to deduce what had happened. This had been going on for a full day now, leaving the masked mercenary rather bored and dreadfully tired of the same old feast they seemed to enjoy after several hours of munching on his body parts, hoping desperately to acquire his ungodly healing power. 

          ❝--But then this is the part of the story where things get dicey for the Berserk rejects! Like George Carlin always said, dishonesty is the best--...this sounds repetitive. ...Uh--❞ There was a useless wriggle on his part, blood leaking even MORE profusely from the open bone shrapnel of his stumps as he peered around the room. ❝--H’lo? ...Anybody? Plot device? ...Bueller?❞ The due response to his question was several seconds of ongoing silence, before the distant sound of exploding body parts rung through the halls. Along with that, a plethora of grumbling monstrous sounding persons were either having one HELLUVA time with their right hand--or heaving up their own organs onto the floor. ❝Hope it’s the latter, sincerely. Don’t need green splooge on this outfit, thanks. Got enough of that when I needed a sample from that one guy... Solomon Grundy?❞

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

“These are some stupid rules.” ~

Meme Town Cinema Sins Edition: No Longer Accepting

         ❝–That’s how it works.❞ The inflection of his voice was far from cheery–daresay, it was grim. A kind of gravely tone that seemed to speak volumes of the ACTUAL Wade Wilson, or maybe the REAL Deadpool™. From his perspective, she’s got some nerve claiming that with him–when she’s guilty of the same exact thing. It didn’t take the world’s greatest detective to sense that he was angry, the slits over his eyes narrowed up at her with nothing resembling a smile fitting where his lips were covered. It was haunting how perfect the mask looked when he was angry–as if being full of rage was meant for the design of his own guise. ❝It’s nice that you’ve recovered from that violation of the mind the other day Wanda, but that ain’t workin’ fer’ me just yet. I told you that I needed space. And when I need space, the rule of thumb is that Deadpool gets–his–space.❞ Something familiar shot down the course of his spine, almost like a freezing CHILL that came out of nowhere–and then he remembered what it was. Dread. It scared him how much his tone sounded familiar to him, like an old friend that he never wanted to see again, the deep terror of his voice molding perfectly into his throat.

          But the damage was done, his venom spat, the wound inflicted; the snake fought to live another day in the shadows. He dared not to speak another word to her, only taking a lingering gaze on her face before he moving forward, returning his eyes to the front of his path. And then the oldest friend of all returned in his rage’s wake–the useless embrace of isolation. It was like a ghostly pair of arms curling themselves around his body, making him go taut with discomfort and annoyance. Because really, he was the one to welcome that friend back, even if they never got along all that much. Like a couple of bad roommates that paid the rent when it was due, but then argued over what tv show they wanted to watch that night. Still–it was better arguing with himself, rather than someone he actually cared about. Like Wanda. 

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

"The first problem is that you exist."

Meme Town Cinema Sins Edition: No Longer Accepting

          ❝–New Phone, who dis?❞

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

“That’s the fancy way of saying you killed him.”

Meme Town Cinema Sins Edition: No Longer Accepting

       ❝Th’ hell? No I didn’t! I barely touched the guy! Look I might be on the edge all the time an’ I might not have an over-abundance of schooling, but dagnabbit I KNOW when I’ve killed a man. …Person. …Thing? …Something smells like a Ridley Scott prop.❞ The collapsed body was heaved upwards with both of his arms, shaking the apparent ‘man’ up and down, all about. Until Wade promptly grabbed onto a fistful of hair on the body’s head, before ripping it off–with a titanium panel coming loose, opening up when he pulled. Inside was a multitude of blinking lights, pseudo brain sections–and what essentially looked to be the brain of your regular factory-made android. ❝AH-HA! See?! Didn’t kill him! Never alive to begin with! –Mm, that might have been a bit prejudice. …Okay, didn’t kill him because he has no soul to vanquish. There. Better?❞

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

“The hell? Do you even coffee?”

Meme Town Cinema Sins Edition: No Longer Accepting

         ❝–Yer’ supposed to be asleep, Susan Pevensie.❞ A timely retort to her groggy exclamation, looking over to his purple comrade attempting to lean up and stare him incredulously, though it simply looked like a hazy expression for the most part. Parts of her still half asleep, the others lost and muddled by fatigue. No matter how many jobs a hero had done, hard, hellish or otherwise–stakeouts were taxing anywhere at anytime, no matter how experienced you were. Their target was a sensitive one, cameras, bodyguards and whatnot making it impossible for either of them to get in without being noticed or spoken about. The information they needed was more than what a hit and run could guarantee, so they were forced to rely to this age-old surveillance technique. Putting a tapping device in guy’s quarters was hard enough, so now they just had to play the waiting game. Luckily, for him, that was easy enough–because sleep was a factor that didn’t much play into his life anymore.

         She wasn’t dumb, not by a longshot. Kate had passed out at least seven hours ago, both of them having been up past two full nights now, prompting him to suggest that she could rest and he would wake her when he needed to. A lie, seeing as how hours had passed and the man hadn’t dozed off even once. Even in her muddled state, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together when it came to his sleeping habits. Wade returned his gaze back to the window where their lackluster target was, raising his right arm and tapping a gloved finger to the side of his covered head. ❝Brain doesn’t let me sleep often. Constant cellular regeneration storm makes for a chaotic sleep schedule. Worse than Madonna. An’ I’d quote her, but I’m not a control freak and the exact opposite of anal retentive.❞ Even the drawl of his voice implied that he was fully awake, though the certain crisp indifference to it did make it sound like he was used to this. Too much so, in fact.

        ❝–Narration is trying to make my life seem sad and angsty, so how about you go back to bed before we get into things I don’t wanna’ talk about. Deal?❞

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

“Stealing by accident is still stealing.”

Meme Town Cinema Sins Edition: No Longer Accepting

          ❝Hey, if YOU wanna’ play devil’s advocate and go return the diamond encrusted watch that I accidentally threw in the bag to that bloated CEO, be my guest. I’m sure if you do, he’ll reward you with a sack of millions that he personally yanked out of his own anus. But if you’re gonna’ do that, have the decency to pull a McFly and put a mini arrow-launcher in it or something. Then he’ll make you head of the company. And then we can steal MORE stuff from him on the inside. …So yeah, do that.❞

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

(ooc):

no offense, but whenever pure innocent characters on the dash reblog things that insinuate they would commit a crime or do bad things, wade is just

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

is wade super gay for cap or something?

         ❝–That depends… do you mean ironically or legitimately? Spiritually? Metaphysically? Conjecturally? Academically? Putatively? Monopoly? Anally? Be specific, ghostface.❞

[siderealsandman]

when someone draws a muscular character as really skinny

[mercwithoutmirth-archived]

(ooc):

me: *makes rocket raccoon's tag a joke-reference to the opening of rocky and bullwinkle*

me: *promptly realizes rocket THE RACOON... is in fact--a raccoon. and rocky is, in fact, a squirrel*

me: ...can't go back on it now i already made the tag.